_______a case of underjoy/_billy/RU_

Meow [08 Jul 2003|09:11pm]

[ mood | cheerful ]

[ music | kittens ]

Here's another attention-grabbing, vague ass entry for you kids..

Have I grabbed your attention yet? :-*

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a star burned in my hand that i refuse to let go away. [08 Jul 2003|03:59am]

[ mood | sick ]

[ music | a constant humming in the background ]

http://www.blurty.com/allpics.bml?user=_billy hm.

This is so vague. I'm just terrified right now about one thing, confused about another, and pessimistic about almost everything else out there. I'm just fucking happy that I don't want to die this time.

I get too fucking deep this time of night. I'm looking at the moth circling the table lamp, and I can't help but think, "What's his point? What is he existing for? Would the world fuck up if I crushed him now?"

I didn't crush him.

Home. Yes, home I go.

I want to change my layout picture, but I can't.

I'm too attached to my mistakes.

edit: Oh, this is amusing. One mere thought making me cry little a bitch. I love it.

I'm gonna throw up..

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I really tried.. [07 Jul 2003|02:14pm]

[ mood | nauseated ]

[ music | Korn "Did My Time" ]

Right after I signed off last night, I turned on my TV to MTV and in the corner I see..

KoRn
"Did My Time"
ksdjflksdjalsk
askljflsakfj
asidufsoierjser

Yeah, I fucking shrieked in happiness because for one, I had no idea the video was out already, and secondly, I turned it on the fucking MOMENT it began. Sure, the video was for a movie, but it was decent though. It wasn't just "two seconds of band FIVE MINUTES OF TOMBRAIDER SCENES" it was like..KORN, with Angelina Jolie. Ha. Yeah, I'm shutting up now. But that video just made my night. Sorry. I love Korn, and they're fucking great no matter how many fucking times you kids think they "sold out."

I feel ill. Everything's moving and that's not good. But I'll be fine in a couple of hours or so.

Uh..what else. Oh yeah, no shows until we go to Japan. :D Time off is fuckin' great.

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i am hate [04 Jul 2003|12:18pm]

[ mood | blah ]

[ music | Fear Factory "Replica" ]

Hm I had a dream last night that I was living in some sort of college dorm and I was trying to put on my eyeliner but I was being distracted by a certain, screaming singer, and that pissed me off because whenever I blinked, my eyeliner would disappear. Pissed me off greatly. I think it was just a vague memory of me having trouble with my eyeliner last weekend, because I did, because it was glitter, and the brush kept poking me in the fucking eye, and in the end I looked like a fucking porn star. Not too great, really. Hm maybe I should put it on today, then some lip gloss, and go stand on the corner and blow guys for a dollar a minute. I mean, I am a slut after all, no? :)

Why do people put eyeshadow on so it looks like they have a pastel black-eye? It's not pretty, kids. Such lovely weather here in Glasgow, it's not 90 out. I fucking hate hot weather with a passion. Probably the ONLY plus side of not being on Warped. Everything else sucks, because I liked going on the Warped Tour. Oh well, we'll probably be there next year. Hold tight, kids. Tomorrow we go home. Ok not home..Milwaukee? What state is that in again? Is that Canadian? THEN it's home after that. Until August 2nd, when we'll fly to Japan. Damn, someone told me that we were going on the 23rd and 24th, but they were grossly mistaken by about 20-days. Shame. August 24th however we'll be in Reading, in the UK, I believe. I don't know about anything else, I'm sure we'll find out more dates at the last minute. But hey, July off is nice, no?

July 19th I have another Level 27 thing to do. I think it's up in NH, but I'm not sure. My mind is kind of at a blank right now and if you really want to know go look at my useryinfo because there's a link there. Hahaha I'm just free-writing right now. Free-writing with a handle on things because of..things? I feel like burning things. Ahaha pyro. I used to set patches of grass on fire in my front yard when I was a kid, when I actually left the house. Wow I was so fucking rebellious wasn't I. No. I wasn't. My mom used to get pissed off at me when I took out the old fashioned push-mower and try and leave crop circles in the front yard. I seriously used to take books on aliens out of the library, find the chapters about crop circles, and take the book outside and try to replicate them in my front yard. My mom always used to wonder why I got so cheerful about mowing the lawn..

That reminds me. I called her this morning because I needed to talk to her about things. She said I was probably the most confusing individual that she's ever met and that I have a bad tendency to fuck things up for myself, and to don't come complaining when I get fucked up for good. 'Course she didn't mean that. I get that trait from her, I think. Saying things that are meant to have good intention, but EVERYONE sees it as cold and fucked up. I think people just need to be more blunt, instead of sugar coating everything and making everything all glitter and fluffy bunnies. Not everyone/thing can be so nice sometimes, and not everyone is going to be nice about it. Doesn't mean they hate you though, sometimes it just means that's how they are. Some people were raised to be assholes and don't really know that that's wrong, because that is what they learned from their parents. Nor am I saying that one shouldn't be offended by what the idiot has to say, because sup, people will be. If you at least know that they don't mean it, just tell them to shut the fuck up and walk away for a while, then try and talk to them again later. ::shrugs:: Oh well.

It must be great to be cold-blooded. You'd probably never get overheated. I read a story about how there was an air-conditioning failure in a pet store, and all these poor animals died. The only animals that did survive were, surprise, reptiles and fish. Those poor birdies/hamsters/mice/gerbils. Speaking of hamsters, Ricola is sitting in my pocket. He likes sitting in there. Even though my pocket is always filled with seed or hamster shit. Ugh.

Someone is calling me but I can't really hear them, therefore I choose to ignore them. Sorry to whomever is calling, but I really don't care. My allergies are killing me. It'd be great to stop sneezing, really.

I've run out of benign things to talk about. Therefore, I shall go.

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::yawns:: [03 Jul 2003|11:57pm]

[ mood | good ]

[ music | Adema "Trust" ]

Well, there is a spider crawling across the wall at about 20 MPH and I'm not running away or trying to get someone to kill it for me. I'm either getting over my spider fear, or it's just the old apathy returning. I'm betting on the latter.

Chris got his first article! Unfortunately it's in a German magazine, and even though we did get copies, we can't read them. :( Someone scanned the image, and I have it somewhere, but not here. So sorry. I'm sure it'll pop up on a GC site at some point in the near near future. I mean, it was on a message board already. Hm. GO CHRIS >:O!!!!!

Speaking of Chris, MTV banned the new Foo Fighters video. I really, really can't see why they did. I saw parts of the video on CNN earlier, and an interview with Dave Grohl about it (which made Chris squeal like a girl who had her first...nevermind). It's ridiculous, really. Oh dear god, Dave Grohl and Jack Black in drag. I mean, that so warrants a ban from MTV, right? Dave made the point of MTV showing people actually having sex on the Real World, and they can't show that video? Interesting. Fuckin' MTV..

I wish people could just tell me certain things to my face. Those two involved know what I speak of, most likely. My answer to what one person couldn't tell me? I'm fine with it :) Quite glad that you were able to do what I've been suggesting you to do, even if it wasn't to the...right person? Right then. Whatever, I'm going to stay with what I got in this matter, because I'm quite happy. :) Bye!

If Benji asks me one more time where I've been yesterday, I'm going to smack him.

Actually..no.. ::turns up radio, waits for Benji to poke his eye out with a fork:: :)

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.. [03 Jul 2003|07:28pm]

[ mood | disappointed ]

[ music | type o negative ]

..

oh..

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[03 Jul 2003|01:35pm]

[ mood | okay ]

Yeah, apparently I either didn't tell everyone I was staying behind in London for a day (Level 27 business, bah..), or nobody listened, because I showed up in Denmark today and everyone's freaking out and asking me where the "fuck" I've been. Well, Paul knew, he picked me up at the airport when I got here. :-[

I thought I had more to say. I don't. Goodbye.

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um [03 Jul 2003|02:08am]

[ mood | blank ]

[ music | korn "got the life" ]

is this over yet?

I get to see my dogs in 4 days. :[

I think we're off the rest of July too. ::staying home the whole time, thanks::.

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:-* [03 Jul 2003|12:27am]

[ mood | amused ]

[ music | NOT RUSH, OK ]

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wow.. [02 Jul 2003|01:52pm]

[ mood | thoughtful ]

[ music | nothing ]

I was up thinking about stuff last night. Again. I seem to do that a lot lately. But whatever was on my mind, it was..well..good. I wanted to stay up all night and think about it, y'know? I was kinda disappointed when I fell asleep and didn't dream about it. Though I'm awake, daytime thoughts are in my head, and while I have about five million other thoughts swimming around in my head, that one thought is still there, dominating them all..

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HELO THIS IS AN ENTRY11!!! WTF [01 Jul 2003|01:52pm]

[ mood | INT3LIEGNT ]

[ music | KORN SHOTS AND LADERS ]

WAL IMM BORAD SO IMA WRIET AN ENTRY11!1!11 LOL IF U NOTIEC IM SPAAKNG LIEK HOW A PERCENTAEG OF OUR FANS SP3AK1!111! WTF FUN NO??!!!!!!! TRY LISTENNG 2 TH3M TOK THIS WAY!!1! WTF LOL OMG I LOVA U BILY1!1!!!1 WTF LOL OR JOEL HAEV MAH BABEIS!111 WTF DMN KIDSD1!!!1 OMG IM USNG A DAVIEC TAHT TRANSLAETS MAH INT3LIEGNT 3NTRY 2 DA CRAP TAHT U R READNG NOW11!111! WTF LOL IMM GLAD 2 HAEV THIS DEVIEC B/C IF I SAT H3RE TRYNG 2 TYPA THIS WAY MAH BRANE WUD MELT111!1! OMG WTF LOL IM NOT TAHT UNINTELIEGNT1111 WTF LOL THEN AGANE IM SHARNG DA SM3 BRANE L3V3L WIT CHDA AS I R3AD THIS OV3R!111!1!! OMG WTF HELO CHDA1!1!1!1! WTF

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[29 Jun 2003|02:36am]

[ mood | melancholy ]

[ music | Jack Off Jill "Underjoyed" ]

http://www.blurty.com/allpics.bml?user=_billy Because I even got Marshall-style in one. :|

Why am I sitting here staring at the computer like an idiot?

I killed a spider on my own. That makes me special, but not really.

I'm about to fall out of my chair and sleep on the floor. Fun. Meh.

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[27 Jun 2003|09:49pm]

[ mood | amused ]

WTF How come they don't put the pictures of Kelly and I together online. ;-p

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Oh my. [27 Jun 2003|12:14pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

[ music | Rasputina "Trench Mouth" ]

Fucking hell why is this room so fucking hot? AGH.

Today is going to be a bad day. Alone on the fact that this room is overheated and that I woke up, put on my TV, and the fucking Jewel song was on. I hate that goddamn song. I HATE JEWEL. Ahaha watch her get a journal and she'll see this and kill me with one of her fucking heels or something. Whatever. Rarr.

Show tomorrow. Wish we could just get it done with now and move right on to Amsterdam. GET HIGH AND GET SOME BITCHES. Or not. Whatever. I want to fucking go home now. I'm in a bad mood. As if I didn't make that clear enough.

Where's my fucking phone? I'm not doing any fucking interviews today. When the fuck am I going to see Kelly again? NEVER, IT SEEMS. :(

edit: get 'em.

edit again: I swallowed my ice tea wrong, now I feel it in my ear. This makes me upset.

edit #3: 19. rachel, maryland
this ones for billy. i have heard a lot of people say that your girlfriend was a real bitch and i was just wondering what you think about people saying that kind of stuff?

Billy: My girlfriend can be a very big bitch.

I didn't mean it, Paul :-*

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from the storms predicted by the Tarot, pray for the rain [26 Jun 2003|11:19pm]

[ mood | weird ]

[ music | Type O Negative "Life is Killing Me" ]

There's about 5 of the same bug on the wall, running around. It's kind of unnerving, really. Where the hell are we anyway?

I've been switching between the same three songs for the past hour or so. Ugh. I don't know. Today sucks.

Paul. <3. Yeah.. heh.. I told you so.

Don't know much else to say.

'nite.

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I am the one who chose my path, I am the one who couldn't last [25 Jun 2003|04:21pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

[ music | Korn "Did My Time" ]

Alright, I can update now.

We're off until the 28th, so we're here in Paris for another day, interviews and such, and then tomorrow morning we go to wherever the fuck it is we're going next. Fun, we go to the airport, Kelly gets on one plane, we get on another. Real fucking fun. :\

Yesterday was an alright day, though I was sick for most of it, and puked when we got offstage, but that's alright. Paul and I went out for a bit before the show, went to some stores. I got some postcards to send home. After our show I pretty much just stood in my hotel while everyone went out and did things. What can I say, I'm not social much.

Fuckin'..4AM last night I woke up from sleep, and started thinking about things. Just...things, ok. And of course being the oversensitive little bitch I am, I started to fucking cry, and couldn't stop for about twenty minutes. Woke Paul up :\ but he just held me, didn't ask what was wrong. That's good, because I -never- explain why I'm upset if people ask. So..yeah..I don't know.

Didn't feel like doing interviews today. Meh.

( Korn 'Did My Time' )

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Oh. My. God. [25 Jun 2003|01:20pm]

[ mood | still having an orgasm. ]

[ music | Korn "Did My Time" ]

eheheheemehehfehesfm. New Korn song. ::multiple FUCKING orgasms::.

You know...I had an update in mind. But I downloaded this song and my mind is just blank right now.

I'll update later. If I can stop listening to it.

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[24 Jun 2003|12:05pm]

[ mood | nauseated ]

[ music | It's quiet. Lets leave it that way. ]

Sadly, it's fucking hot out, and I'm feeling fucking sick again. Wonderful!

War, eh? Right, kid. Grow up before I show you what fucking war is. You think I was bad before? Just you fucking wait. :) Actually, you know what? Fuck it. I'm finished with this bullshit. You leave me alone, I'll leave you alone, and everything will be good again, k? :) Agh, fuck it. I'm sick of this, and I'm sure you all are. I think the two of us need to give each other one hard bitchslap or two, and it'll be over with.

Moving on to much better things...well..I don't know. After tonight's show we have a couple days off, all of which include traveling and interviews. Meh.

Shit, I put my tv on this morning, and I see Jewel. Can someone tell me what happened to her? Is this a JOKE? I thought Jewel like..played guitar. Not run around in heels. Odd, really.

Um, what else. I feel like I'm going to throw up again.

Well this was a waste of an update.

Edit: BENJI GOT HUMPED BY A TEENIE =-o!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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!!! [22 Jun 2003|03:26pm]

[ mood | shocked ]

[ music | Type O Negative "Nettie" ]

I woke up this morning, to someone standing over my bed, shaking my shoulder. I only had about three hours of sleep, so when I opened my eyes and see this blurry person standing over my bed. "HI BILLY!" They said. I had no fucking clue who it was, because who do I know that has all brown hair? No one. So I'm like "...who are you?" I thought it was some crazy German fan, so I turn over in my bed to wake Paul up, and holy shit he's not there. Whoever was standing over my bed didn't answer me, so I rubbed my eyes to de-blurryfy them, and look up at the person again, "WTF WHO ARE YOU?????"

( IT WAS PAUL! =-o!!! )

He got bored of the black and white. :[

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AGHHHH [22 Jun 2003|03:12am]

[ mood | SATAN ON A SWINGSET!!! ]

[ music | Type O Negative "Anesthesia" ]

( Holy..fucking..shit.. )

Yeah, so..

That spider that was in my bunk a few weeks back? I'd rather KISS that little black and yellow nothing compared to seeing THAT huge fucker in there.

Nightmares..I tell you..

I'll have a real update later.

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