amy lee's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] amy lee [ website | so fake ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[23 Jul 2003|07:29am] [ mood | crazy ] she walks into her room after getting out of the shower. marcy playground - i smell sex and candy is playing on her radio. she smirks when she hears the lyrics. she opens her closet changing into a black corsett with a black skirt putting on eyeliner and black eyeshadow and adding a red tint to her lips. dancing while she puts her lipstick on she puts her makeup away, she thinks of tyson and smiles and hopes to see him today. she glances over to her computer and decideds to make an update well its early like fuck. havent been to bed so i think its more like its late as fuck. i'm bored out of my mind. so yeah anyone who wants to stop by can. I'm not doing anything.. anyways back to the update. I can't seem to get Tyson out of my head. I guess this is the month for love and heartbreak. I'm so happy tyson came and saved me from the dark lol. Seriously though before him, I was fucking depressed like hell. I think everyone knows why. Then he comes and its like. Okay you know those sappy movies that whenever you see someone, they walk all slow towards you, and its like some weird 70s music playing in the backround. with a white glow all around them. and then they kiss you its like fireworks? yeah thats how it is when I see Tyson. No i'm not on acid okay just in love. Don't hate. Things are very hard for some people right now and I hope those two people know that I'm praying for them everynight. Those two people know who they are and I don't want to say anything about why their going through a hard time, either because.. you all know.. or its none of your business. I would like to tell them that they are two of my best friends and that I love them very much. I hope things get better for them. Because when my friends are depressed. So am I. I'm pretty excited about Justin and Traces wedding. Thats going to be real fun. I'm Tysons date for it so when I start cryin' I'll just turn to my side and Tyson will be there. Thats a great feeling. More than anything I adore him. Hes like my superman. Saves me from evil people and trouble and such. woo I love being in love. If that makes sense to you. I'm getting a new baby. Yeah my little kitten. It's a premature kitten and its REAL small. fits in the palm of you hand. They said its not going to be as big as normal cats. I felt so bad for it when I seen it walking. It made me cry. It limps. THATS NOT FUNNY FOR ANY OF YOU WHO ARE LAUGHING. I'm thinking about naming it Niko. Or mesonaughtykittymonster. and call it meso for short<3. I need to get my sleeping pattern back on track. This is some fucked up shit I've been doin. It's like. I go to bed at 1 in the afternoon wake up at 11. Crazy shit. It needs to stop. I'm thinkin I should go to a therapist. Or get some sleeping pills. But I hate pills. Pills suck ass. So I think ima see the therapist. I remember my mom had to take sleeping pills. She thought the plant was dancing. I'm like whoa. So anyways, I think I'm going to end this entry now. I really hope I can see Tyson today. I miss him already. she clicks update and walks over to the couch. turning on the disney channel, she smiles when she sees the wiggles are on. 111 falling forever // going under

[22 Jul 2003|12:16pm] turns korn up fullblast and dances around in a tshirt and underwear once again with my brush in my hand Only see somehow it always seems that I'm learnin or something I can never be It doesn't matter to me, 'cause I will always be that pimp I see pelvic thrusts and rocks my head to the music in all my fantasies I don't know your fucking name. jumps on a chair rocking my body to the music So what? Let's. . . Screaming to be the only way that I can truly be free from my fucked up real life so I dream and stroke it harder, 'cause its so fun to see my slides my hand down my stomach and jumps off the chair face staring back at me I don't know your fucking name. So what? Let's fuck. throws one arm in the air thrusting my hips forward at the words lets fuck All Day I Dream About Sex shakes what my momma gave me All Day I Dream About fuckin' swings my head round to the music but is interupted by the door bell. turns off the music and pulls covers around me.. runs to answer it 1 falling forever // going under

[22 Jul 2003|10:32am] mkay. i'm bored. haven't slept yet. and i'm waiting for tyson to come around. I miss him lots. I had a fun time with Alyssa at my house last night. Shes more insane than I am. HURR and i mean that looks over at her sleeping and laughs the girl cannot pull an all nigher like I can. Cause I'm cool. And strong like that. Well theres nothing for me to update. I just think that some people need to mind their own business and yeah you know who I'm talking about. clicks update and calls tysons cellphone from mine.. realizes hes sleeping and leaves a message. you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray you'll never know dear how much i love you please dont take my sunshine away giggles a little before hanging up smiles contently to myself and goes to lay on the couch 4 falling forever // going under

[21 Jul 2003|04:02am] [ mood | giggly ] So we don't have a show till the 4th of aug. which makes me feel like dancing. not that i dont like it or anything. its just exhausting. Anyways, We got Ben here, My bandmate, My buddy! Psh he says I talk alot. Hes the one that talks back. So we both talk alot. and okay. I was reading an interview Ben did by himself. and Only himself. I'm guessing its because he doesn't want me to talk alot in the interview or something, but hey.. read these snippiets of ben being stupid. I love you ben dont hurt me rotfl. 10. Katie - If you had the power of invisibility for one day, what would you do with it? Well, to be entirely honest.... I would start out in alyssa milano's shower. Because, seriously... who wouldn't??? Then I'd probably steal a WHOLE BUNCH of shit... and then spend the rest of the day spooking the living fuck out of people. oh yea... then i'd like, fix world hunger or something. 12. Katie - If you were a pie, what flavor pie would you be? i'd be a chocolate pie. no one ever tried to fuck a chocolate pie 25. hello387 - What would you do if you knew you only had 24 hours to live? alyssa milano 38. mbmanus - How do we achieve world peace? vicaden 51. LAUREN - I like to lick people. Could I lick you one day? Like just on your neck or something....I promise not to bite or anything. you need a restraining order.... and i think that's HOT!!!! 54. Naikuu - have you gotten a bra thrown at you that wasnt for amy yet? we've had several bras... but the correct recipient was never established. HAHA BEN I GET BRAS THROWN AT ME 'STEAD OF YOU =P 60. lisakat - Do you keep your promises? look.... you said you were on the pill 100. k_lee - If you can only take one thing on tour with you (besides clothes instruments etc) what would it be? alyssa milano ben? obsession? 90. Deceptive_Eyez - what is the most irritating thing you've done to annoy amy? breathe 97. k_lee - A crazed fan runs on stage and has a large Jell - o (I am British and have changed the word Jelly to Jell - o, so as to be co-operative) shooting device. Fan is about to shoot this whole joint up. Do you a) Rip off your top in Superman fashion, roar like a lion and pounce towards this fan, punch them in the windpipe, rip the gun off fan and then use said gun to repeatedly hit crazed fan? (By saying yes to answer a) you are not condoning fan abuse - fear not) b) Grab Amy and use her as a human shield, who cares if she's a girl your the hottie in this band, not to mention that you don't even know who this girl is that turns up on your stage every night. c) What a Jell - o gun?! That's the uber coolest thing i ever saw?! Squirt everyone lets wrestle! d) My name is Ben Moody how dare you step on to my stage with your soiled person's?! This is just completely non-exceptable, I am a rock star and have every right to throw a diva fit and have you removed, you pathetic minion. I am now going to shout and curse at every member of the crew I can find until my ego has been satisfied. e) None of the above. I would -------- (insert your answer here) alyssa milano 100. k_lee - If you can only take one thing on tour with you (besides clothes instruments etc) what would it be? alyssa milano 121. antigone - what is the most annoying thing about touring and living on a bus?? the only girl on the bus is in the band and is fully clothed... BUT THAT"S ALL GONNA CHANGE ONCE I GET MY OWN BUS!!!!!!!1 pshaw. 131. stargazer - If you could rule the world for a day, what would you do first? And then what else would you do? alyssa milano. then i would do.... other stuff 139. PossessedByTheSquirrels - Do you have any outragious stories about fellow band members or yourself? amy can fart the alphabet I CAN NOT!! 199. Gooplink - Have you ever had a fan asked you (or any of the rest of the band besides Amy) to show them your tits? i've been offering my tits for months... but alas.,... no takers and alas, thats ben. the crazy one. I'm normal I swear. Tyson, I miss you! I love you! and your the hottest, sweetest, nicest, funnest boyfriend in the world. and thats it for my update kids. I'm up sooo late 5 falling forever // going under

[18 Jul 2003|07:13pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | aerosmith ] wo0 okay so this morning was interesting cause tyson and i frollicked through fields with fairys and sparkles and flowers, and there was a new years party we had, and we were vampires, and we watched moulin rouge but he didnt like that so we watched dumb and dumber and he was happeh again. *mocks the selenda movie* anything for tysons. <3. so anyways after that i went to bed and i just woke up. I think im a hypercondriact. yes i do. i keep gettin paranoid that im gonna die of all these things like cancer. =/ it sucks like whoa. so anyways. Chelley rockes my socks. and I love Tyson and Alyssa thinks im high but im not so she owns too so yes -skips back to them- 1 falling forever // going under

[18 Jul 2003|04:29am] [ mood | crazy ] =]- wooo happeh amy. -dances- // going under

[17 Jul 2003|10:07pm] Which band did you choose? The Ramones 1. Are you male or female: she talks to rainbows 2. Describe yourself: all screwed up 3. How do some people feel about you?: take it as it comes 4. How do you feel about yourself?: pinhead 5. Describe an old girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: the crusher 6. Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: cant get you out of my mind 7. Your sexual innuendo: garden of serenity 8. Where would you rather be?: in the park 9. Where are you?: sitting in my room 10. Describe what you want to be: I wanna be sedated 11. Describe how you live: outsider 12. Describe how you love: I need your love 13. Share a few words of wisdom: Lifes a Gas 14. Are you older or younger: I dont wanna grow up 15. What would you like to do today: Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment 16. What would you like to do tonight?: I just want to have something to do 17. What makes you feel the best?: Locket Love 18. What makes you feel the worst?: Swallow My Pride wo0 i did the trend // going under

[17 Jul 2003|01:13am] HEEHEHEHEH NEW LAYOUT this layout is dedicated to tyson and my friends you know who you are. <3 cuz even though im psycho. they still love meee. 6 falling forever // going under

[15 Jul 2003|10:40am] [ mood | content ] i am not a chicken. >:o eggs do not come out of my butthole. and yes. i will go out with you. -sneaks away- woo ameh is one happy person :] what happened today. I hung out with tyson, chuck, pierre, jessi, and alyssa. woo was that an expierance. I found that those 5 people are the most funniest people alive. dude. Jessi jumped on Tysons head and this whole ass smelling thing started and it was hilarious. <3 I love you people. I love that I can say something. They wont tell. <333 ;D RED PAINNNNNNNNT GET READY NICCUHS. <3 I miss my boobookittehfuck<3 *sigh* 1 falling forever // going under

[14 Jul 2003|08:36am] [ mood | embarrassed ] okay. i dont care. gonna scream it to the world. I LIKE TYSON RITTER i like him alot. i like him more than a fat kid loves cake. i like him more than flowers loves sunshine. i like him more than.. old ladies like tea. i like him more than whores like sex. i like him more than i like cigarettes thats a WHOLE LOT i like him more than poor people like change i like him more than lil kids like ice cream. i like him more than whores love cash. i like him more than monkeys love banannas ... get my point? and this is what my update is about. When your enchanted by someone. or pulled in by what attracts you. Theres no way of excaping it. especally when you don't want to. You wait for this person everyday. you pay this person more attention than everyone else. Why? because you like them more than monkeys love banannas. and let me tell you that feeling is speshul. If someone returns your feelings. Then you feel like yer in fucking heaven. And you dont want anyone in the world to mess this up. I backed down before about my feelings. I'm not doing it again. When you feel something for someone you should tell them. Thats what IMA do. This time. I'm not erasing it. And since tyson was a shickin yesterday *smiles*. TYSON RITTER WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME? k thanks bye. *runs away blushing* 3 falling forever // going under

[12 Jul 2003|04:52am] [ mood | emo ] okay hi!; sad emo blahh blahh blahh womanly power uplifting go me journal entry so if you dont want to read it i suggest you leave now? The hardest part of being in a relationship is having the feeling that the guy you love more then life itself doesn't care about you as much as you thought. You sit up every night and cry, worrying that it won't last much longer. Yet, your doing everything you can to hold on to what you have and yet it doesn't seem to be enough. I know that feeling all too well. I'm hoping next time I'm in a relationship I wont have to go through that. Not at all. Never again. I have my eye on a guy. I'm sure, he knows who he is. No Orlando. Its not you.. haha. It takes alot out of a person to fall in love. It takes alot more out of a person to fall out of it. I learned that things change, people change. it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be. Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had? Well i have the answer to that. they both hurt like hell. People make mistakes. It means your fucking human. Whats wrong with being human? Nothing. Say whats on your mind people. It may cause a broken heart. Or it may be worth it in the end. You never know. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...but if you don't, you might break theirs. You can always create your own experience of life in a beautiful and enjoyable way if you keep your love turned on within you- regardless of what other people say or do. We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them in mutual weirdness and call it love. I'm about to do something. and I hope it doesnt fuck up my life like many men have before. i have spoken thank you and goodnight, this entry is dedicated to alyssa.<33333 THERE WAS SOMETHING HERE BUT FUCK IT THANKS 19 falling forever // going under

[08 Jul 2003|04:51am] ::dances infront of my mirror around in gray short shorts and a gray tank top with my hair pulled back in a ponytail holds the brush like its a microphone and sings:: AND YOU BUSTED ME LIKE THE CIGARETTE. THAT I BUSTED ON THE DAY I QUH WEEET BUT NOW THAT IVE BEEN DRINKIN ::rocks my head:: IM OUT OF SMOKES AND I WISH THAT I HAD IT ::jumps on my bed:: WOKE UP TO MY DAILY HEADACHE TO MY REALIZATION YOU ARE GONE ::rocks my body back and forth while singing OH MY SWEET DARLING HAPPYNESS ::throws my upperbody forward:: YOU'VE BEEN AWAY FROM ME ALL ALONG! ::stands up straight ONE THING THAT IVE NEVER SAID ::rocks my head to the music:: IM TRUELY HAPPY IN MY HEART AND IN MY HEAD LONELY LIVER SUSPENDED IN LIQUID throws one arm up in the air word. ::Blinks and jumps off my bed walking out to the kitchen to grab something to eat:: 1 falling forever // going under

[07 Jul 2003|05:08am] DO IT PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE Am I 1. Am I cute? 2. Am I crazy? 3. Am I lovable? 4. Am I funny? 5. Am I annoying? 6. Am I psycho? 7. Am I daring? 8. Am I a good person? Would You 1. Hug Me? 2. Miss me if I was gone? 3. Listen to my problems? 4. Hug me if I cried? 5. Be a good friend? 6. Get in a fight for me? 7. Run evil social espionage missions for me? Would you ever 1. Go out with me? 2. If you already have, would you do it again? 3. Kiss me? 4. Marry me if you could? 5. Ever talk bad about me if we ever broke up? 6. Make out with me in a cemetery? 7. Snuggle with me? 1. How Well Do You Know Me? 2. When's my birthday? 5. Who is my best friend? 6. Who am I crushing on(Sounds painful)/dating? 7. Favorite color? 9. Favorite Animal? 12. Favorite song/songs? 13. Favorite music groups? 15. What song would you dedicate to me? 18. What would I use to dispatch a horde of hungry zombies? If You Could 1. Give me a new name, it would be? 2. Do one thing with me, it would be? 3. Drop me a piece of advice, it would be? 3. Kidnap me for a day, where would we go? JUST A FEW QUESTIONS 1. What do you love about me? 2. What do you hate about me (seriously)? 3. What is my best quality? 4. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be? 5. What is your honest opinion about me? 6. What would you do if I sang out of tune? 1. what song (if any) reminds you of me? 2. Do I remind you of any characters on TV? 4. Have you ever had a dream about me? 5. Do you think I'm a virgin? 6. If you just met me how old would you guess I am? 7. Am I huggable? 8. If you could give me anything... what would it be? 9. If you could promise me anything.. what would it be? Personal 1. Am I ugly, average, decent, good looking, beautiful, hot, etc? 2. Do you ever think about me offline? 3. If you could describe me in one word... what would that word be? 4. Do you/have you ever had a crush on me? 5. When we first met, what were your thoughts? (if you've met/talked to me?) 6. If you had to describe to someone who I am and what I am like, what would you tell them? 7. What are my faults? 8. My strengths? Everybody 1. Do you wish we were closer? 2. State here your completely honest opinion of me 3 falling forever // going under

[06 Jul 2003|06:25am] ::: shakes my head as stare at myself in the mirror. removes the necklace that ashton had bought me and places it back into the box. frowns and sighs deeply. walks out of my bathroom into my bedroom and places the box into a larger jewlery box that my grandmother had given me. jumps onto my bed taking my journal out of the night stand drawer and flipping to a fresh page. chews on my pen while letting my mind wonder:: Well. I put ashtons necklace away today. I think I'm going to give it back to him. The next time I see him. I doubt we will be getting back together because his feelings for me has disapeared. I can tell. I can really tell. Thats what makes me sad. I hate it when the people you know, become the people you knew. or the people you love, become the people you loved. not that I dont still love ashton or anything. Its just that he just doesnt love me anymore. and I've kind of developed a crush on someone else. It's what he wanted anyway. I doubt if the person I like even likes me back. Hes the community flirt. And the community god. I really miss ashton. But he doesnt miss me. I'm going to get over that I promise you all. Just give me time. It still hurts me. I still love him. I cant believe he moved. Me and him. We belonged together I know we did. But he doesnt realize this. I lost my soulmate. Is it possible to have a second one? ::sighs deeply and pauses while writing and scratches the back of my shoulder:: i miss being in his house I miss his dogs I miss his scent I miss his bed I miss his stairs I miss his couch I miss his boxers [edit 1; that sounds wrong] I miss everything. I don't know how I plan to get over this. Unless I go out with someone else. Or back with Ashton... Ashton.. I dont care if I'm making a fool of myself anymore. I love you. I need you and I want you back. I thought I wanted something else when I had left you. I was wrong. It wasnt what I wanted Your. what I want. And I need to hear it from you. Do you not want to ever be with me again? I need to know. I don't want to hear it from alyssa. Or JC. or anyone else. I need to hear it from you. I'm sick of getting Drunk every night. I'm sick of the suicidal thoughts. So cure me of this pain and stop making me wonder. Your worse than a fall off a 50 story building. The anticipation to hit the ground is a bitch I'm sure. And I just cant stand this. So please. Tell me how you feel. Please. I just dont want to be lonely anymore. I dont want to cry. I'm sorry if I hurt you. Its the last thing I EVER ment to do. I put another bullet through your heart at the worst possible time. When you needed me most, I left you. I was such a bitch for that. I thought of nothing but myself. I was so wrong for everything I ever did to you. I'd do anything to make it up to you I promise. Just please. Come back to california. lets work things out. It will be better. I'd do anything you want. I'd listen to what you said. Not the opinions of other people. All the things people said just got to my head. I love you ashton. *frowns* come back. :::reads over what i wrote::: p.s. holy shit skitzo much ::slightly smiles while putting my notebook away and turning on the tv:: 3 falling forever // going under

[05 Jul 2003|06:01pm] Yeah. Summer lovin is in the air people. Everyones with someone. But I lost the person I love. Nothing I can do. I wish there was. but there isnt. My numerous attempts to get him back hasnt worked. He doesnt want to be with me. Why I can't get that through my head is something I just dont know. I'm glad hes gone. Now I don't have to suffer by looking at him. I'm going to find someone else. I promise myself that. Someone who will treat me good. Someone who if theres a bump or something in the relationship is mature enough to work it out. Is there such a guy though? I wonder. HIII AMY LEE 20 YEARS OLD LOOKING FOR MATURE SWEET HOT GUY WHO ISNT A JACKASS. mkay thank you rotfl. anyways. I havent been sleeping well. Ive been having hella panic attacks. Its scaring me. But I'm okay. Ive been feening a cigarette but i havent smoked any. Well I'm gonna go wonder around and such. // going under

[04 Jul 2003|09:44am] alright. i had my little vacation. It did me good. Ashton doesnt want to be with me again. I can deal with that. I've grown up. moved on. I'm over it! I'm fine. I'm gonna grow the fuck up. and move on. *nodds* anyways I went to New York for 2 days. I'm back now. I'm feeling Dizzy. I've quit smoking. and Um. Thanks. Thats all ive got to say for now. I havent slept yet either. so im not really in the mood for updating. 4 falling forever // going under

[01 Jul 2003|09:39am] [ mood | contemplative ] Now you say that you like me, but you don't "like" like me. And you say that you love me but you're not "in" love with me And we should just be friends but friends shouldn't treat other friends like that you're not too friendly when you act like that. Every time I call the old you, the new you answers the phone. I would like to talk to old you , but the new you says you're not home Whatever happened to that girl I knew, she was just like you- but was way more into me. Lately you've been acting strange, or going through a phase Why's it gotta be like that? The old you dug me, but the new you snubs me, and asks me to go away but I ain't going away- Every time I call the old you, the new you answers the phone. I would like to talk to old you , but the new you says "you're not home" I've been so patient and I'm giving you space I haven't called all day, but you're still not coming around You've made a big mistake- that's not a threat no matter how it sounds Things were going so great, but as of late you haven't much to say The old you loved me, but the new you snubs me, and asks me to go away but I ain't going away- Every time I call the old you, the new you answers the phone. I would like to talk to old you , but the new you says you're not home Well now you say that you like me, but you don't "like" like me. And you say that you love me but you're not "in" love with me And we should just be friends- but friends shouldn't treat other friends like that you're not too friendly when you act like that. Should I smash your fucking head with a baseball bat? And dig around the brains and goo for something that looks lie old you- Every time I call the old you, the new you answers the phone. I would like to talk to old you , but the new you says "you're not home" you say that you like me, but you don't "like" like me.... there comes a time.. in everyones life.. where people make mistakes. but obviously I made one that I wont be able to take back or say I'm sorry for. Because no matter what I do or say. We're both going to be broken over it.. Ashton. I never ment to hurt you. The ONLY reason I did what I did is cause I thought we both needed space. I didn't think I would want you back as bad as I do right now. It kind of sucks. Because in reading your latest entry, you said some bullshit like "Amy lost the babies.. her mom pushed her down the stairs..shit happens" Which I thought was fucking lovely for you to say about your own kids. "shit happens". but I also realize your under like a whole lot of stress right now. and I wish there was something I could do to make it better. But I have no magic powers to do anything. I'm just me. Amy Lee. and I'm sorry if I'm not wonderwoman but thats who I am. If you cant love me for it. Than what use am I to you? This pertains to everyone I know. If someone cant except the way I am ex: my hyperness. *coughs* than What use are YOU to me. Ashton I know I love you now. More than anything. I want to make things right. It took me all this breakup to realize this. Thats fucked up I know but, You dont know what you got till its gone. I guess thats a true saying. I would say.. I wish I could take back every bad thing thats happened to us. But than I would be wrong, Because I dont wish that. Every bad thing that goes on.. only makes us stronger. Makes us either believe or not believe even more. Or to realize what I got. Thats what everything that we went through made me realize. I don't think you understand either Ashton. I lost my babies. My first kids. It was hard on me.. still is. But like I said thats changed me. Everything you do is in life is going to effect you one way or another. Sometimes we dont make the right choices. I think I fuck up alot. But thats what I chose to do. I can't change ANYTHING I've ever done in my life. Nor, would I want to.. to make anyone happy. Also, Like Mandy said I think everyone needs to fucking relax.. enjoy life as it comes. Shes a smart girl. Very Smart. So, as I end this.. I'll leave you with one last thought *oof jerry springer much*. If you love something let it go.. if it comes back its yours and thats how you know. i think that was my longest entry yet. // going under

[30 Jun 2003|03:00am] "shit happens." *blinks and looks around* fuck that shit 1 falling forever // going under

[28 Jun 2003|06:38pm] *comes walking out of the bathroom. my hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. looks around towards the computer and stumbles towards it. a bottle of absolute in one hand. sits down at the seat and turns the computer on waiting for it to light up. takes a long sip of the alchohol in my hand. stares blankly as i begin to type* well well well now. ive lost my babies. my boyfriend. its a wonderful life. wonderful wonderful life. As I wonder why I broke up with Ashton. I realize I guess its for the best. *takes a sip of alchohol* I guess. Sure. Plus I have many a people supporting me and making sure im alright. I havent eaten for like 2 days. Its okay though I'm not hungry. *takes out a cigarette* Everyones happy. Happy. Happy. What else is there? Nothing. My life is pretty boring. Sucks. yep. *takes a sip of vodka* this was an absolutely worthless Update. so duh. // going under

[28 Jun 2003|02:58am] well fuck me in the ass me and ashton broke up now. great,. // going under

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