Trachtenberg; Michelle:: The Chase.



. . . ...You left me... with ...no choice . . .



Lyrics

A little bit of Bourbon
And a broken neon sign
Once again I'm riding shotgun
To everything that's on my mind
Just a bartender
To tell my troubles to
Well, I just haven't found a way
To say, I'm so in love with you
If you could hear it in my voice
And see it on my face
You left me with no choice
But to leave you for the chase
I-35 in the pouring rain
Aleopard skin suitcase and a pocket o' change
Last I heard she left for Dallas
So I'm checking every motel in sight
This pick-up truck aint fast enough, no
We had our problems and times are tough
I just can't believe you're leavin'
Over three words I couldn't say last night
If you could hear it in my voice
And see it on my face
You left me with no choice but
To leave you
A little Tequila
And a broken neon sign
Woh, and just a bartender
Can tell you what was on my mind
Yeah
He said you could hear it in his voice
And see it on his face
You left him with no choice
But to leave you for
The chase
--Chris Kane

Quote of the moment

. I like that compliment, that "you scared the shit out of me." It makes me laugh. You know what? I scare the shit out of me too. ---A&F Interview.

The Girl

Name: Michelle Christine Trachtenberg.
Age: 18
Stats: Painfully Single.
Music: Punk, pop-punk, and a bit of country -- not 'my wife left me and my ole dog died' country like chris kane, garth brooks kind of country :x.






[12 Aug 2003|12:25am]
[ mood | Sappy ]

Since the moment I spotted you,
Like walking around with little wings on my shoes,
My stomach's filled with the butterflies,

Ooh, and it's all right,
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud,
I'd got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down,
If I'd said I didn't like it then you'd know I lied,

Everytime I try to talk to you,
I get tongue-tied,
It turns out that everything I say to you,
Comes out wrong and never comes out right.

So I'll say why don't you and I,
Get together and take on the world and be together forever,
Heads we will, Tails we'll try again,
So I'll say why don't you and I,
Hold each other and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven,
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in.

When's this fever going to break?
I think I've handled more than any man can take,
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around,

Ooh, and it's all right,
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud,
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down,
If I'd said I didn't like it then you'd know I lied.

Everytime I try to talk to you,
I get tongue-tied,
It turns out that everything I say to you,
Comes out wrong and never comes out right.

So I'll say why don't you and I,
Get together and take on the world and be together forever,
Heads we will, Tails we'll try again,
So I'll say why don't you and I,
Get together and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven,
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in.

Slowly I begin to realize,
This is never going to end
Right about the same time you walk by,
And I say 'Oh here we go again',
Oh!

Everytime I try to talk to you,
I get tongue-tied,
It turns out that everything I say to you,
Comes out wrong and never comes out right.

So I'll say why don't you and I,
Get together and take on the world and be together forever,
Heads we will, Tails we'll try again,
So I'll say why don't you and I,
Get together and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven,
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in.

So I'll say why don't You and I,
Get together and take on the world and be together forever,
Heads we will, Tails we'll try again,
So I'll say you why don't You and I,
Get together and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven,
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in.

3 broken|neon signs

Club Attire. [08 Aug 2003|06:37pm]
Okay so I promised you leather, and its not but ...
I didn't think we'd ever even make it to the club if I wore leather -- so.. )
Ryan, you still owe me panties.

*winks* love ya kiddo
1 broken|neon signs

[08 Aug 2003|03:35pm]
How often do you sit down and think about the people in your life? Seriously think about what they mean to you and why you need them in your life? God, works in mysterious ways – bringing certain people into our lives for certain purposes. I believe this, though just because that person is supposed to be some great love in your life? Doesn’t mean they will be, no he simply brings them to you – it’s your job to follow through on the feelings that it brings.

A life can change in an instant, so can relationships.

Ryan --- has to be one of the most amazing people I know. He’s brilliant; he’s an actor, a philosopher, too intelligent for my own good. People say he’s deep he isn’t, he simply lets more out then most do. Which I suppose is deep but that’s beside the point. His love of great poetry and other literature fuels this, in twenty eight years the boys probably read more then most do in fifty.

Though he isn’t a complicated man, everything you ever need to know about him any clarification on how he feels that you may need? Take on look into his eyes and you’ll know. He maybe good at covering his ass words wise, but he never gets away with it completely, simply because of his eyes.

Everyday that I’m around him I fall deeper into awe, every word he says, every move he makes has some form of --- beauty to it. I can’t say I’ve ever been this ‘whoa’ about a person before. He can just – say my name or wink at that and makes whatever’s going on okay, or the head/stomachache I have disappear. Don’t even get me started on when he holds me. My body comes alive, not just in a sexual way you fool. It’s like – a mess of butterflies and tingly skin. I feel like such a kid or something because I get all … heart stop-y for a second or two when he walks into a room.

I’m cutting this off before I get too sappy, to spare ‘Liza.
I feel sorry for her when Ryan and I get up to Canada tonight she hates journal sap she’ll die when she sees it in real life. God I’m so nervous about meeting his parents … *sighs biting her lower lip*

Anyway *Moving those eyes to look beside her in the bed she glanced back at her lap top* I should probably wake Tubby butt up, before we miss our flight.
15 broken|neon signs

[06 Aug 2003|12:09am]
Been spending alot of time with the Mayers, I've even be adopted so now I'm like a hybrid a Trachamayer or something. I absolutely adore these two, they're probably the most amazing couple of people I've had the pleasure of being close too.

Even if Alli does give me nasty kissing!sex images and john pees infront of me and tell me what to and not to do.

Ryan. Call me if you need me, hang in there babe. everything'll work out!
3 broken|neon signs

[04 Aug 2003|01:42am]
[ mood | curious ]

John? Is now my Mommy. Da'momma. Oh and he also informed me on the art of cock sucking, apparently you're supposed to -- lick and suck a dudes cock/balls as well. Great parent he is.

Pointer of the lifetime?
comfortably john: SPEAKING OF! Don't put a guy's balls in your mouth if he doesn't shave like me though.

Alli. Your husband? he's a scary scary man.


...I love Bevie...

Beverly hills122: *nods* Yeah...does it sound pleasent? I mean you are licking this thing that is odd looking and liquid comes out of it..*shivers* Ewwww... I've only done it like once and i don't think I want to again.

52 broken|neon signs

[03 Aug 2003|04:16pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

Danny, he told me to update about something happyish so -- I like pizza dipped in ranch dressing, and eggs with ketchup on them.

1 broken|neon signs

[03 Aug 2003|02:32am]
Danny -- I'm not sure why you're mad, upset, whatever it is you are at me. 'Nothing, don't worry your pretty little head' is so unDanny where I'm concerned. Look the events of the last day or so haven't been that great, the things you know that happened, I understand you're upset, didn't like it dissapointed, whatever. I get the fact that you're always on my ass because you love me and wish only for my well being. Maybe I should listen to you, maybe it would keep me from getting fucked so much, so to speak. I'm eighteen years old though babe, sure I'm probably a tad more mature then most but still just eighteen. I want to let loose and get buck wild just like you probably did at my age. I understand you just want me safe and happy, you have no idea how much I love you for that either but my life, my mistakes. You don't have to pay for them I do. how can one learn if they don't make them? I strongly believe thats how we grow, change and evolve. Just trust me and stay on my side, please? I do love you, I hope you know that. I may get bitchy or self protecting arund you sometimes but I really do thank god that I have a person to worry about me. Not many people can say they have someone who cares enough about them to. Just don't give up on me totally and end up hating me. The thing that happened after I left Jeres, that ryan came and 'saved' me from .. I.. I can't tell you, not because I dont trust you just for the simple fact that one person, Ryan, already knows and that in itself is one to many. Be good Sparkly and I'm sorry.
1 broken|neon signs

You know who you are [02 Aug 2003|04:38am]
"A friend will break your heart, a friend will mend it, a friend will provide you with every feeling in the world, good and bad. A friend is emotion incarnate."

Thank you for coming to get me tonight, for the kitten, the bracelet -- for being you. True friends are far and wide, though I think I just may have found one in you. I love you Killer. Never be shy to come talk to me about anything. You know what's been said and what not between us theres no reason to be. I owe you the world, just for tonight. What happened after I left Jere's made everything feel like the world was crashing down around me, you picked up the pieces and put a few back, thank you.

-- on a side note Jere, about tonight? The suckyness of it has jack to do with you, or what we did. I had a -- wonderful time. You have my number. Use it.
4 broken|neon signs

Emerson. For your enjoyment. [01 Aug 2003|02:56am]
..just a few of my favorites..

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

We cannot see things that stare us in the face until the hour comes that the mind is ripened

We are taught by great actions that the universe is the property of every individual in it.

It does not need that a poem should be long. Every word was once a poem. Every new relationship is a new word.

And my favorite at the moment?

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
2 broken|neon signs

[31 Jul 2003|07:08am]
All my life I thought I'd graduate from high school, go off to law school and have that as my 'back up'. I've been doing some serious thinking since I've graduated I'm not a 'child-actor' anymore. I'm eighteen, I can vote! What else can you do at 18? Not very many exciting things that what. Anyway -- So I’ve been thinking, right? I'm an actor my passion is film so why go to law school? When I was a kid I used to get stories from my parents about how all the lawyers back 'home' in Russia were the most intelligent, most liberal, well respected people I think that's were my want to be one had stemmed. Anyway I'm beating around the bush right? I've decided that in the fall I'm going to start film school, hell later in the year I'm co-producing a Indie film. I just -- I really don't think I could ever get away from the business totally. Never it’s in my blood. Not that anyone really cared I just felt like posting that.
1 broken|neon signs

[31 Jul 2003|06:30am]
New layout / user info. Look and comment and I'll give you a cookie.
3 broken|neon signs

[28 Jul 2003|07:29am]
The absence of flaw in beauty is itself a flaw.
4 broken|neon signs

[28 Jul 2003|03:31am]
[ mood | cold ]

I've never prayed but tonight I'm on my knees, yeah. I need to hear some sounds that reconize the pain in me, yeah.

What do I do next? Made an ass out myself to one of the few people that I actually need in my life. My rock. I just -- will never understand why it couldn't be me. When is it going to be my turn? When will I be good enough?
When will he see that, I am good enough?

.:moving the mouse over to click the update button Chelle swallowed the lump in her throat. Blank crystal blue eyes scanned over the short entry hand shaking somewhat on the mouse:.

..when will I be enough?

neon signs

[27 Jul 2003|07:25am]
[ mood | content ]

To .. you

you know who you are.

Remember whatever choices you make I'm here for you 101% Just -- keep me informed so I don't think one thing and it actually be another, mkay? .:smiles slightly:. Just -- be honest with yourself and the answers will come to you.

Sure I know what I want - but that isn't whats in question here. What you want is the question. Don't rush it just -- .:shrug:. Not sure how to help you out here Doll...

..Thanks for tonight though. Slept better then I have in awhile ... hope I didn't like cuddle you to death. .:shrug:. Didn't mean to, its just something I do when i'm asleep.

neon signs

[24 Jul 2003|05:12am]
[ mood | discontent ]

So I played avoidy girl, eh? I have no reasons no justifications, just the simple fact that I did. Ever felt like your brain was on overload? Emotions running too high and too deep to separate? Flowing in and out of each other like Algae or something? I’m not making a lick of sense and I know … just let me ramble, okay?

I’ve hurt a lot of people, made some pretty raunchy mistakes. Played the part of the whore – sort of. Never fucked any of my ‘flirts’ but that doesn’t change the fact that I bet a lot of you assumed I did, huh? That’s my fault. I crave attention like – cocaine addicts crave dope, I need it to survive or so I thought.

Vindictive and bitch are two – the only two things I can think of to describe myself if by chance the attention isn’t give, deferred, or given in more volume to another. I let my insecurities override my brain in turn my “ass overruns my mouth” as they say.

I’m selfish, I admit it – even when I try not to be all I can think of for the most part if me, me, me. I wish – I wish I knew why, or how to stop it because I hate myself more and more everyday.

One of the people I love – more then any other creature on gods green earth is going through something, something awful involving someone they care so much about. What’d I do? Avoid them. Did I attempt to be there for and console them? No. I played avoidy girl. Wow, I’m a great friend! .:snorts, rolling her eyes:.

Sarah, Nicky, Eliza-Fee and Charisma know me – the best of any people in the world and probably love me the most too .. Yet I don’t have the gumption or goodness about me to go to them when I’m aware of the fact that they have problems. No. I either wait until they come to me or don’t mention anything at all. But buddy-oh-boy the moment something screws up with me or whatever I go high tailing it to them ready for advice, comfort, and attention. The shit I do to these people is awful, reprehensible, and plain shitty.

What I do to my ‘flirts’ is probably even worse. Despite the fact that I don’t even know if any of them actually felt anything for me, it’s still horrid. I used these guys for my own – happiness. Whatever pick-me-up I needed I found in them. Now remember I didn’t/haven’t fucked any of them, but still I used words and.. things to get what I needed. Disregarding how they felt as I moved on to another one. Which I guess since I never dated nor fucked any of them isn’t that bad but…. still.





I just – G’ah everyone..I’m..so..sorry.. I want to be a good person… why can’t I be?

17 broken|neon signs

[14 Jul 2003|05:20pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

okay so -- young actors guild awards are tomorrow night ... their almost like the sag awards only you know .. for 'young'.. under 21 actors. The thing about these awards is, its posh no one gives a rats ass about them (like the sag awards) their on TV but like on the fucking BBCA, even though their filmed in nyc? .:shakes head:. The only people who do seem to care are critics and o'course the people attending. I never go with a date .. normally I go with a friend or two but this year I mentioned them to Benjiness and well .:shrug:. he's going with me. .:smiles:. Yeah i know Benji Madden at an actors guild awards show. shocking huh? I'm not even sure why he wanted to take me. Though he was pretty ...intent, I guess would be the word, about wanting to. It should be a blast. Normally their boring as hell but something tells me this year'll be different. He asked if he needed to 'dress up' which techniqually he should, but I dont want him to feel out of place or.. uncomfortable. So I told him to just wear whatever he wanted -- so long as it was clean .:winks:. I still need to talk to him about the plans. if he wants to leave in the morning or tonight or what. .:laughs:. I can't wait. -- I already have my outfit too.. uhm.. comments?

The outfit )

:x hopefully I wont be to shitty looking/embarrassing.

11 broken|neon signs

[14 Jul 2003|04:33pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

SAP )

13 broken|neon signs

[12 Jul 2003|11:23am]
I think I may possibly have upset/angered/brought hate on myself for the post I made last night -- I'm sorry? I just .. .:sighs:. Look you hate me if you like, I can't help the fact that I'm overly protective and get these massive blinders on when it comes to a few certain people. Mandy, Avy -- you know I love you girls, right?

-- Does it make you a whore to kiss two different guys in like.. a two day period? :x

I really need to do one of those 'people' posts, you know the kind that you list all your friends/family and like .. tell about them or whatever? I should do that.. I will --- later.

and in response to Nicks comment in my Matt Lillard post::

Nicholas Brenden Shultz is the sexiest man alive. .:COUGHS:. ;]
Feel better now, nick?
4 broken|neon signs

[11 Jul 2003|05:41pm]
To many updates in one day? TOO FUCKING BAD

okay, hi i'm pissed off.

you don't go to someones BESTFRIEND and tell them that they've changed them. That is in NO WAY fucking right. HOLY HELL. what right do you have? if you care about Benji so fucking much why in the hell do you want to take one of the people that mean the MOST to him away? jealous? insecure? well FUCK YOU.

Tony did shit to Benji to change him. the only thing tony is guilty of is being uber!loyal to benjs. something he DESERVES. God, why can't people just get their god damn heads out of their asses?!

LEAVE TONY THE FUCK ALONE. and as far as benji goes? he's a big boy -- if he wants your input, I'm sure he'll ask.
4 broken|neon signs

[11 Jul 2003|03:07pm]
[ mood | horny ]

Alright, I've decided that Matt Lillard needs a journal, just for mine and Mandys own personal pleasure.. .:blinks:. not in that way you fools. well okay maybe because hi, it's Matthew Lillard -- all the male species would have to worry. .:firm nod:. I mean did you SEE the boy in SLC Punk? .:drools:. or what about Thir13en Ghosts. He's one of the sexiest men alive. yes. yes. yes.

Mmm )


edit:: Hi, I'm overly horny at the moment so guys pardon me if I like -- jump on and rape you. -- any complaints?

3 broken|neon signs

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