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[17 Apr 2005|09:49pm] |
testing.
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[02 Mar 2005|06:44pm] |
i'm switching to lj. for real.
fastdance
add me there. ♥
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| it starts again can you feel it? it takes your breath away. |
[28 Feb 2005|09:20pm] |
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mood |
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dontreallyknow. |
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music |
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colin hay - garden state soundtrack. <3333 |
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today was good for a while. &then i just got really bored. but then i discovered dancing to the garden state soundtrack &pretending to be a ballerina is amazingly amazing. &its also a good way to rip your pants. :D yea.
i want it to be summer so bad. &i wanna go to the beach. even if its not summer id kill to stay at the beach for a couple days. i miss it. &i miss surfing alot.
&were having school tomorrow &it sucks. i thgouht we were gonna have another snowday.
&i really wanna know why i do this to myself. i swear im retarded or SOMETHING.
&im really cold cause im sitting here in my underwear but its fun so i wont get dressed.
&I LEAVE FRIDAY MORNING ! it kinda sucks cause im still not packed &i really dont feel like packing. &im really gonna miss everyone AHELLOFALOT. &cell phones dont work there ®ular phones cost like a bagillion dollars or something. so i wont get to talk to anyone. &well thatll be interesting to see if i go insane or not. &make up work will be a pain. but im really excited to go. &i cant wait to get out of here. &i love airports. &trips. &pretending i live in other places. &my dad said we get to go to HONDURAN CLUBS in roatan. im really excited.
( we're nothing short of invincible. )
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| Well there's nothing to lose, &there's nothing to prove. ill be dancin with myselff. |
[27 Feb 2005|05:18pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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billy idol - DANCING WITH MYSELF. <3 |
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so nothins really been goin on.
still grounded.
oh it's been a blast.
not.
so i felt the need to update.
apparantly there wasnt a need.
8)
im madly in love with this song: ( COLLIDE, you know. )
EDIT: AND just because i love these response things heres anoother. <3
post a comment to this post, but post it anonymously.
o1. how you feel about me.
o2. what your first impression of me was.
o3. a fond memory you have of us.
o4. something you never told me but would have always liked to say. anything.
then, put this in your LJ/blurty/whatever to see what your friends have to say.
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| get me out of the rain. get me out of my clothes. hope i dont make a sound. hope that nobody knows. |
[24 Feb 2005|05:35pm] |
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mood |
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woo. |
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music |
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the academy is. |
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EARLY DISMISSAL! SAY WAHAAAAT ! yea exciting i know.
today was good. spanish was awesome &me &mac passed notes like normal kids. free, watched the notebook with alie &attempted to do chem homework. history was boring as hell but whats new. chem finished teh test &i did horrible. THEN WE GOT OUT ! WOO ! &em came over for a little &we ran around in the snow &then we decided to run around the block in our uniforms with no rjackets &well we got real cold halfway down the street &then came back. got mcdonalds for lunch. made my dad birthday cards. music + makeup. oh its been a fun day. mostly because i had mountain dew at school. MY LOVER. yea im crashing.
"Attention bidders! Its line 45. He's got a decent voice, he's got that crooked smile. Hold on, you havent heard the best yet. He writes good storylines, he's got those honest eyes. So take him home for just $9.95. He'll sing the songs you like, he'll keep you warm at night."
anyone have the academy is, hellogoodbye, or armor for sleep cds ?
happy birthday to my dad !
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[23 Feb 2005|05:31pm] |
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ill love anyone who even attempts to do ( this. )
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[22 Feb 2005|07:59pm] |
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So tonight as I walk, the moon makes faces at the trees. It's so nice to make fun of everything that I lost, &I miss, &I love but never had.
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| sit back &let me die slowly. don't cry, i didn't love you anyway. |
[21 Feb 2005|12:41pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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hawthorne heights. |
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so, long weekend, &it sucked horribly.
thursday night; stuck home with the fam.
friday; scuba homework, mall with al. watched THE NOTEBOOK. it was the cutest movie ever. the dude that's always in FYE was there. &well yea friday night was fun. got a new ( jacket. )
saturday; scuba + managed to get my ass caught in about 748259749328759230024 lies. yea that was fun. grounded for the rest of the weekend. got bitched at alot. watched hidalgo &scary movie 3 with the fam.
sunday; church + scuba. im officially certified ! well not really .. i still gotta do my check out dive but thats not till roatan. we leave in TWO WEEKS. im excited. hah dad ran into the chinese dudes tiny expensive sports car at the scuba place. it was kinda funny. cept not cause we gotta pay for it even tho it was the dudes fault for parking right behind a DURANGO ?! um hello are you RETARDED. yea got bitched at alot yesterday too.
today; TOMMYBOY was on earlier. i lvoe that movie. uh yea .. history test tomorrow .. fun.
well that was a GHEY update.
sorry kids.
( Now the dark has caught the spark in those eyes &I can't find the air. )
If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?
EDIT: so yea i feel like updating again. just becasue. im craving the notebook right now. been cravin it all day. it's such a cute movie. im in love with it. makes me want a boyfriend but hey who doesn't. so, i really want a pet fish. really bad. i havent had one since i was in like 2nd grade &it died because its skin wouldn't stop peeling off. &then i had a pet turtle. &it got real sick &died because i didnt take care of it. oops. i wanna watch garden state now too. i hate fighting with my mother. &i hate yelling. &arguing. &i hate being frustrated. &i hate wanting to leave so bad, but i wanna get away horribly bad. &i hate that she has no respect for me &i hate that i have no respect for myself. &i wish to fuck i could drive. i cant wait till i can drive. &get out of here. i can't fucking wait for honduras. two more weeks, i think. ahhh 10days with just my dad. it should be good. i hope.
( destiny gets nervous again. )
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| &it's just my luck to end up getting stuck to everything you are. |
[16 Feb 2005|04:21pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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spill canvas. |
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sooo bleeding vaginas SUCK. &everything's been a fight lately &it pisses me off. valentine's day was nothing special &of course it decided to snow that morning &i had to come home early because of fucking cramps. yea cramps suck too. so ua open dance = NEXT FRIDAY ! i thought it was gonna be the next friday &that i wasn't gonna be here for it. i'm excited.
well this was pointless.
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| go cry, go runaway. let your short legs carry you away. |
[13 Feb 2005|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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EISLEY. TELESCOPE EYES. <33 |
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so kids, yes i'm updating, finally.
so last weekend was good as far as i can remember. friday i went to the mall with stef &it was awesome. &then we went back to her house. i've got pictures. i'll get em up sometime when im not lazy. there's like 100+ pictures from that ngiht soo thatll be LOADS of fun. saturday went to the cheer competition @st marks with the ihm girls. aw i love them. theyre adorable. they did amazing &THEY FUCKING WON ! it was awesome. they beat st john's who are beasts but they dropped 3 stunts &a back handspring landed on her face so that MIGTH have had something to do with it. hahah we were all so happy we started crying. it was fun. ( hott to trot. )so saturday night i was gonna sneak out &dave was gonna pick me up &whatnot &i didn't think the basement storm doors had the alram fuckers on em but they do which sucks &so of course i couldnt even sneak out. gotta work on that. sunday = SUPERBOWL. fucking eagles. it was fun tho. ferguson's &lamb's came over.
kjdfklasdjfdksjf; this week .. all i remember is course selection. &that i can't take ap stat &ap chem with physics &precalc. so its just ap chem unless i dont get in, but im determined to get in.
soo this weekend .. friday = SOPH HOP. brought dave &it was really fun! minus the fact that i sweat worse than a man. everyone looked gorgeous. got yelled at by mil AND cawiezal. definitely a plus. &&&afterwards was 58297589234789327598234723234972 x funner. ;) saturday had scuba lessons. it was interesting. im with a bunch of old people. the youngest is like 30 something. besides me. &theyre all afraid of me because im a teenager or osmething along those lines. but the like equipment guy who takes care of all hte shit &whatnot is a CUTIE. i dont know how old he is. 18 maybe ? woo. i don't know but hes cute. &conveniantly my wet suit zipper wouldnt work so he had to help me in my bikini with my wetsuit. ;D ew &then today the old guy was like HERE KELLY LEMME HELP YOU WITH THAT. &im like okay. i didnt really think nothin of it but then una goes HAH he didnt offer to help any of the other guys ! i was like ehhh creepy. &wet suits suck. but besides that it's been fun.
babysat last night. then today had lessons again. &the uncles &mommom came over for dinner. &well, the end.
( i thought this was over. but it's only just begun. )
EDIT:deleted everyone off friends. comment if you wanna be added back. <3
happy valentine's day.
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| Dear diary my teen angst bullshit has a body count. I believe its 6 going on 7 now. |
[10 Feb 2005|11:39pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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music |
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the heater that blows fucking cold air. |
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today sucked. well no it didn't. im just in a fucking shitty mood. mac sat next to me in spanish &we passed ntoes. watched donnie darko with jayne. bombed my alg II quiz cause i realized i did everything wrong with 5mintues left. dance assembly 8th. dance team was amazing. the day was good. then i got home. whatever. maybe ill actually update for real someday .. maybe.
just forget about it, anything i said about it.
drive away tonight you think it's fine.
you put it all inside and run, and never look behind.
it's all the same besides the fact that it's mine.
think of me when you're dreaming and know.
that i'm wide awake and thinking of you.
cause i swear when you're there alone
know that i'm wide awake tonight.
you could hold my heart.
it's all yours if you want.
just forget about, set your mark and keep around it,
thoughts that are, just the opposite of you.
it happens everytime you fall.
you write it off and say "well i'll be fine just let me try too."
and sing to me, when you're sinking.
and you know that i'm wide awake and watching for you.
cause i swear when you're there alone
know that i'm wide awake tonight.
you could hold my heart
it's all yours if you want it
i'm letting you know now.
dont wait.
just tell me all about it.
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[08 Feb 2005|04:04pm] |
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Will you be my valentine? :)
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| I liked you better before you were naked on the internet. |
[07 Feb 2005|04:16pm] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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music |
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fftl. |
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Your memories will always haunt me like a ghost.
To put it nicely I hope you choke.
A poet of sorts, but I'm not enough to give you an eyesore.
It's hard to swallow with your hands around my throat.
I'm SICK and TIRED of I told you so.
You can call me at home but I know better than to answer the phone.
Just burn the photographs and bury all the pages that we knew.
In short this is a long goodbye to unexpecting you.
I'm better off alone than I would be in your arms.
today sucked.
all monday's suck.
i'm so tired.
&in need of a nap.
weekend was good.
i have pictures.
im too tired to function.
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| This is for the record cause I've been holding back too long. |
[03 Feb 2005|09:02pm] |
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you can see it behind her eyelids, this girl is on the path to destruction. late nights bleed into early mornings. too many stimulants and a chemical induced sadness, she struggles to keep her head above the water. following the fashions, the fascists, the facade wears thin. the razor blade rhythm and the overladen hearts: trends of the moment. this girl longs to break free, to run down that rain-slicked alleyway and never look back, to leave the people who left her long ago.
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[02 Feb 2005|04:29pm] |
i can't keep my eyes fucking open.
chinese food for dinner. =)
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| fat bottom girls you make the ROCKIN world go 'round. |
[31 Jan 2005|06:03pm] |
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mood |
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tired. |
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music |
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QUEEN ! |
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soo...... I FEEL LIKE UPDATING.
sup whorebags. today was CLASH DAY! which is most likely the entire reason today, a monday, wasn't hell. &i am gonna tell you all about it. &youre gonna love it. so me &ab pulled up to school &everyone was in jeans. while we were clashing. we laughed &it was fun. anywayyys .. eh 1st &8th were switched cause we had an assembly 1st with a recovering alcoholic lady. she was nice. it wasn't deathly boring. it got us out of class. life is good. then 3rd we missed so we could go and ask her questions about drugs and alcohol &shit &people were being immature. but yea whatever. i owe so many people $$. i decided to buy a donut for chem, &a cupcake &a muffin at the bakesale. i feel like a fatass. im fat &happy leave me alone. algebra II was confusing. perregrino preached in theology &we got out early for lunch. painting was frustrating and the white shit dries too quick and i just wanna be done the damn still life. and 8th which was really technically 1st was spanish but she gave us a free so i talked with the lovely freshman. i love them ! &i finished the article for the newspaper finally &everything's just dandy. cept for the fact that the state exam for driver's ed is tomorrow. :/ im so nervous. well not really but i will be.
so the weekend wasn't bad:
+signed up for scuba lessons
+went over kory's with sara parker
+got to see kelly &jen &kris &everyone @kelly's shower
+good food
+dinner with mr ferguson &al
+father daughter dance
+brew haha with al (vanilla mocha latte = amazing.)
-SALLIES DANCE WAS HORRIBLE
-&kel's shower was boring as fuck
but the food was amazing &she had fun, so it made up for it.
oh &i went to "volunteer" at ihm with cheerleading &i had to work with the 3rd graders. jesus christ they're annoying as fuck. &the head lady was too. &they all REEKED of bo. &i kept smelling myself to make sure it wasn't me. &then i was convinced it was me. but then meg told me it was the 3rd graders who somehow HAVENT DISCOVERED DEODERANT YET ? gross. &mrs koval brought me home &wynn blasted brand new &it was just wonderful.
♥
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[30 Jan 2005|02:09pm] |
this is the grace that only we can bestow.
this is the price you pay for loss of control.
this is the break in the bend.
this is the closest of calls.
this is the reason your alone.
this is the rise and the fall.
( ♥ )
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| days like this, i don't know what to do with myself. |
[26 Jan 2005|04:41pm] |
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mood |
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sad sick &tired. |
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music |
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mr brightside. |
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i just want to throw up.
&stop feeling sick.
&sleep.
&stop feeling so damn tired.
&be happy. i want to stop faking.
ive become a pro at faking.
fake a smile here, a laugh there.
most times i can even fool myself.
ive convinced myself that im happy
for too long now. &ill keep doing it.
im used to it. live a lie if it works.
&i hate fights with my mom even though she thinks i start them for fun. &i hate fights with other epople. especially one way fights when i get ignored for reasons i don't know. but then the next day, suddenly i'm their best friend. i hate it.
i feel like i'm at a dead end in everything too.
i hate dead ends. i hate dead end conversations.
i hate being alone.
&i just want to cry.
&hide in my bed under the
covers until everythings okay.
but everything will be okay.
if not today, tomorrow.
&if not tomorrow, sometimes soon.
i hope.
&i could go for a hug, too.
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