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    O take an old-fashioned wooden school ruler, place it flat on TOP of your dick, and push it into your pelvis as far as you can, or until you draw blood. Looking down from above, where your dick ends is how long your dick is. Read it and weep. It does not get any longer than that. If you know what parallax error is, then you know that this actually makes your dick measure a quarter inch longer than it really is. Now -- you uncut bastards, you're a special case. Your prepuce DOES NOT COUNT for your dick length. If you're really ignorant, "prepuce" is your foreskin, the male anatomical part most commonly regarded as the most repugnant, rejectable, and disposable part of a man. Besides his personality. Do NOT measure your prepuce as being part of your dick length. When you have your dick inside your fuck partner, your prepuce always slides back, so the only length they can feel is from your urethral opening and back. You are a DICK, and not a fin fish as defined in the Texas Parks and Wildlife Fishing and Hunting Regulations. Pinching a fin-fish's tail to make it long enough to keep is not the same as pinching your prepuce to make your dick long enough to fuck. You are just a dick, not a game fish, no matter how large your bag limit or how willingly you'd eat a dick like you would eat a game fish. So skin it before you measure it. For length, use the school ruler method. If you are actually longer than a 12-inch ruler, I pity you but you should either say "12 inches plus" or else get a goddamn yardstick from the sewing store. Using a carpenter's tape measure does NOT count. If


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