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[23 May 2008|12:17am] |
It turns out that that drink was much needed. My back is hurting, on one side, and the alcohol has soothed it albiet partially.
I was asked a question tonight. It was about the diary, and how I write it without being able to really elaborate upon what I exactly feel about things. It's a good question, and one which i've been asking myself for some time. To what extent can you truly censor what you write?
Never more pertinent than lately. I have to put a certain cloud over how i'm feeling. The thing is, one part of me wants to get this stuff out there, the other part of me cannot be fully candid. I always strive to be honest, really I do. But I just can't write exactly how I feel, because I honestly don't think it could possibly do any real good.
I'm doing it now. All through this post. I can never say what I feel, and it burns me up. The reason why it burns me up is, I feel a complete impotence. I want so much to make a difference in someone's life...whether they need me or not. Y'see, I don't even think they do. What can I do? What the hell makes me think I could make a difference to them? I perhaps think of myself as being more important and more of an influence than I actually am.
Gah. It pains me to see them so, I wish I could so something incredible, just once.
Blech.
I wish to dedicate this song to someone. It's by the band Athlete, a group I don't care for a whole lot. I find them mostly tiresome. However, this song is bloody thrilling. I love it, and it fits perfectly.
It's called Half Light.
The sun got stuck, as it's making it's way back down,
We find ourselves, in a familiar part of town
And all that I've seen means nothing to me without you
So when I see you next we'll make the most of it,
Tell the sun to start moving again,
The taste of your kiss I still got on my lips,
And ill take you there with me
My head crashed down, air conditioned myself to sleep,
The great night out, that will continue to the end of the week
And all that I've seen means nothing to me without you
So when I see you next we'll make the most of it,
Tell the sun to start moving again,
The taste of your kiss I still got on my lips,
And ill take you there with me
It's you and me connected to a satellite
It's you and me love through a machine
It's you and me connected to a satellite
It's you and me love through a machine
So when I see you next we'll make the most of it,
Tell the sun to start moving again,
The taste of your kiss I still got on my lips,
And I'll take you there with me.
Back to work all day today. What have I learned this holiday period? Not a lot. But i'm learning a lot about me.
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[23 May 2008|01:04am] |
Argh! Fucking hell.
Remind me to do something spoofing AOL's shitfeast celebrity zone, Eleven. I've never seen such shit in all my life.
AHHHHHHHHH!
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[23 May 2008|03:15pm] |
Too much information time. I never pretended this diary would be clean. This morning I woke up with that back problem hurting badly. I also woke up with a massive erection. I alleviated this back problem by imagining Rebecca in her underwear, and dry humping my duvet.
That's how horny and lonely I am, ladies and gentlmen. I've started to fuck my own bed, like a dog with a leg. Don't worry, there was no sticky stuff, i'm careful to stop.
Mmmmm...Rebecca. Christ, i'd give her a whitewashing. Fuckng sexy cocking shitting wench.
My back feels better, and incredeibly, it's because of work. All that moving around got those muscles working again, and my kitchen is now in order. I say my kitchen, it isn't. It just feels like it's mine when I leave it all nice and tidy.
At least until the boys crash pans about at six thirty, anyway. I'm in tonight, as JapAndy is out. The good thing is I get Sunday off, which technically means I have two days off next week. Yes!
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