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[26 Apr 2008|01:08am] |
He wishes he could be by your side. He's a child, but he's a man too. He feels every sense you feel, every emotion you undergo. He would sacrifice everything, just to see you happy, even if it would endanger himself. He would clutch, with boyish and innocent hands, at your fluttering image. How you mean so much, after all, after everything, is testament to you, and only you. He wants so much for himsself, but yet, more for you.
And why? I do not know. He just does.
He is the child now a man. And he does not say things such as these with impunity.
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[26 Apr 2008|10:05am] |
Oh, the ravages of age. How it withers the fruit on the tree. No matter how defined my jaw, or how handsome my eyes, one day i'm going to look like a zombie version of that Doc out of Back to the future. I don't want to be a skeleton! How am I going to eat? Or wank? Skeletons don't have penises, i'm quite sure of that.
This morning I was eating cornflakes and inwardly thinking about being some old bones as I rested my gaze on the box, and it said "BE A ZOOKEEPER FOR A DAY!". I think this means more that you can visit a zoo for a day, because if you were a child and you were given that job, in with the apes, you'd end up without an arm. They have a thing about ripping limbs off, you see.
There is a free ticket on the box. I want to go. For free. The only thing is, on the thing it says that you must be accompanied by a paying adult. I'm thirty one. I can't just take my mum along and pretend she is the paying adult. Age! Age, how you taunt me so! I'm suddenly grown up. What happened? Ah, I would probably have just done wanker signs at all the animals anyway.
Last night I had a terrible dream. Honestly, it was something you don't want to hear about. It was sick. I don't think it represents what i'm like, I think it represents a real and pressing anxiety and uneasy feeling I have. Probably. It was horrible.
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[26 Apr 2008|03:45pm] |
The internet is disgracefully slow today. It's either my router, or it's AOL. I prefer to blame AOL, because they've been to blame in the past. And I hate them. I hate them more than I hate Hollyoaks. Still, the router will have to be replaced soon. It's like using dial up.
Catskulls sent me another wicked parcel (Thanks, man!), with some ace films and tv stuff. Also, inside, was this badge.
Hooray! Do you think I should wear this when she's around? She might think it was funny. Or she might be scared. I don't know which. I like this badge.
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[26 Apr 2008|04:10pm] |
I don't like watching people eat. It's not like I don't like people eating, it's just that I don't like watching it. I'm like Kathleen Turner in The War of the roses, watching Micheal Douglas. I dislike watching people's mouthes, watching gobs flapping, watching and listening to cutlery clanging away on plates. Gah. It's an odd thing to raise my chagrin, but it's there.
I also dislike the word music.
And another thing, I don't like the sound of pouring, either.
There are many things I do like. I like the tingle of ice on the spine when you feel life in it's most potent ecstasy. I just don't like watching people eating.
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[26 Apr 2008|05:20pm] |
Who misses Ian then? I do. In the retrospective five year anniversary of the Zoomeister diary part two:
http://zoomeister.livejournal.com/84800.html
We join Ian and myself, as Ian tries to teach me how to do crosswords. He had a particular brain for being able to do these, in about twenty minutes. I could do, at the most, one question in the whole crossword.
I'll have to go and see the old sod soon, during that holiday i've got.
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