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[18 Apr 2008|03:39pm] |
Have you ever loved someone, but, dependent on the exact point in your life and the events in it, you're never exactly sure how much you do, and it what context?
I had that epiphany today. I don't know if it's right to admit it, but all the while it does me no real harm to feel that way, I shall. I don't feel any negative feelings, because my feelings are controlled, and mature. I know how to handle it. But I can't deny the fact that this feeling is there. Don't ask, folks. This one's for me to work out. I'm good at keeping these things to myself, heh.
It's a shifting, fluctuating thing, but it does make me think. And if we're being honest, I kind of like it. It feels like home in my heart, and I never need let that person know. I may never know in which way life will manifest itself. This person, this love, is dynamic. But the reason it's a good love, is it's sincere, and it doesn't stop my pursuit of romantic love, because I don't have those relations with that person. So it's all cool. I think if anything, it makes me happy to not know what I feel. Heightens the spirit, keeps the soul ticking. And it makes me write some cool shit!
I'm sorry, I know this is all very vague. I do use this diary to talk honestly, and openly, but there are some things I cannot be specific about. That's just da breaks, man!
I think i'm just meant to feel some things, for a reason. Perhaps.
This morning my computer gave me another reason to wish we were still using pigeons and smoke signals to communicate. The downside is I would never meet a lovely bunch of people like you lot. The thing is, the wireless stopped. AOL again, I think. It was restarted. I restarted my computer to give it a fresh boot, as you do. When I did this, the thing refused to start. I can't live without my machine, or my internet chums. They're some of the best i've got. So I was panicking. It was trying to boot from the fucking cd rom. It's done that before, but it quickly goes to the hard drive. Not this time, it just stopped. So I changed the boot in the scary DOS setting page to hard drive booting. I didn't know what I was doing, but it worked. Then the wireless still would not connect. I restarted again, finally it connected. I was, as you can imagine slightly pissed off at this point.
And work was shit too. I can deal with much these days, but work and technology are the twin whores that break my soul wide open. I hate problems with both, and I react with a great amount of chagrin.
Anyway, quite surprised about this post. I was well open about stuff! Cheers!
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[18 Apr 2008|03:41pm] |
Tonight should be good fun. A couple of bottles of rouge, a Graham made curry, and you have the recipe for a loquacious and mental Phylly. Wine, as you know, is my poetic drink. It is also my humour drink. Joe the Walrus will be there too.
Should be fun. See you later then.
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[18 Apr 2008|04:00pm] |
Today's is by Norwegian popsters, A-HA. They are that of the finely crafted melodies, and this is one of their best. It's a lovely song, this.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=aIn2wiiEoeg
Hunting high and low.
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