| Merry fucking Christmas, you outer reaches! |
[25 Dec 2006|12:55am] |
When I first posted on this fucking business about Christmas, that was the subject title, so it seems fitting that after all the stuff that's happened before, I use that title again. Three years on. And you know, it's time we got that feeling back, because tonight, I have truly come full circle. Some of the old Phylly is back.
I am a little wankered, yes. But why not? I used to do it, on the night before the big one, so why not now, eh? Being thirty does not mean I have entirely disposed of my youthful esuberance. So here I am, tipsy, and very very happy. Last year I could have happily stoved my head in with a brick, Christmas was miserable, lonely, far too nostalgic, and rubbish. This year, I am moving on. I last week cut those years from my hair, I relented, I took stock and remembered how many good friends I have, how good I am and how much i've come on. And i've flourished.
And i've had a fucking great night. Yes. And it began, at eight.
I took a trip down to the Bell. Found Graham and Rich doing the bar. I drank Murphys. Lots. 'Tash arrived. I made her laugh. A lot. She actually laughed so much I thought she'd explode. We sang Chasing Cars. We sang it so well in fact, i'm quite amazed by how brilliant we sounded. Yo.
Bolb, Dan and Lil' G too. And his brother. Loads. Loads. LOADS. Loads of people. We had some great laughs. I enjoyed myself. More than i'd ever thought possible in that miserable time of last year. I've left it behind. I've done it. And i'm so fucking happy to have left it all behind. You wouldn't know..
Last Christmas Day I cried in the kitchen. I wasn't working, I was at home. I thought i'd be okay. Thought it would be a nice day. I had some food, opened some presents, I thought i'd be alright. But I ended up bawling my eyes out in the kitchen, alone. Staring out into leaveless trees, birds sitting on trunks...nobody to warm me, no-one to help. This year, i'm full of love for my friends. Those friends that stuck by me, those friends that didn't leap out on me when my times were hardest. Those true friends.
Tonight, I am so fucking grateful to them. For keeping me breathing, for helping me this year to move on, to get over, to forget the past. Thanks, you loveable bunch, you.
And I got gifts! I won't see most until tomorrow, but I got a whisky hip flask from Mike and Ann ("Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog's Dead"), a pair of washing up gloves from "Santa", and a bunch of Kinder Eggs from the incomparable Richomoto! Not only that, but the very same lad also got me a Killer's shirt!
God dammit, you be the best, Mr Rich. Merry Christmas. And Merry Christmas to you all! Now go to sleep! Or Santa he be gonna whippin' you asses!
Right. I must depart. I have a BIG pile of work today. I'll see you all on the flipside, where I hope to be slashed, once again.
Was thinking of something cheeky then. I won't say it. I shall merely say, Merry Christmas. Again.
x
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