|
[06 Dec 2006|12:19am] |
I liked my drinking tonight. I didn't go too far, though I did buy some tobacco. That's my third pouch in as many days, and that isn't good at all. I have to take some serious steps to curb this, I really do. For both my health and finances.
I'm literally going insane without smokes. In the head and in the body. I'm like a ball of horny mixed up with a bag of shakes. I'm impossible. I got some smokes and calmed my sense. This is bad.
I think I need a day or two of detox and then it'll get better.
In spite of this, I found myself quite calm with a roll up and lounging casually in the bar as G and his plahouse chums scattered words about in the public bar. I would have joined them, but no..I was quite distracted enough by my own thoughts. He was with Natasha, who is the starlet of this Dracula shindig. I talked to Di a little until Mike and Anne wandered down from upstairs.
I got talking to Anne about education for a long while. She was heavily involved in teaching both as student and teacher and expressed frustration about the way teaching is going, and she's right. Nobody is tailoring to the needs of pupils, there's no instinct, no encouragement of a person's skills, it's much like my own case where I knew I had something to give and to learn at school, and a pretty receptive brain, but I got little.
And that stunted my growth both academically and emotionally. Frustratingly, a lot of my school mates have better jobs...better lives (What is percieved as being anyway) and you would say they were the more intelligent, but none of them could write a sonnet, a poem, or a piece as beautifully as I. IF and when I get the inspiration to.
But that part of me was never given a chance to flourish, because I sat still, was unconfident and uncommunicative and just wanted to go home.
Makes you wonder what I could have done if things were different.
Talked too about the times of rememberance of war. In particular, I mentioned the time I went to the Menin Gate and that sobering, strange day. I nearly welled up when I talked of that huge stone arch, the hundereds there in...and the mix up of feelings in my head that day.
Never forget.
What I like more than anything is grand conversation. Does you good.
Right, so tomorrow is panto night. Not the showing i'll be going to. Wish them luck.
Break a leg, folks. You know, if I had the guts i'd do something like this one day.
|
|
|
[06 Dec 2006|03:22pm] |
Calm before the storm. Coming up from now until the new year we have hundereds of people with Christmas parties and there's no end in sight. I will be just happy to get the holidays out of the way.
Today was the last day likely to be quiet in any sense.
Tonight is panto night. I'm not going until Friday's performance, but i'll be there in the Bell enjoying the post show atmos. Dan and I are going to have a little tournament on Summer Games, an incredibly addictive mobile phone game. I've learned the javelin, so i'm going to give a good asswhipping.
|
|
|
[06 Dec 2006|09:21pm] |
I can't help thinking Love Actually would be more enjoyable if it was replaced by two hours of projectile vomiting. By a cow.
See you fucking later, yer chimin' crimers.
Bye!
|
|