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[19 Nov 2006|12:55am] |
Sometimes you just want to tell someone to shut the fuck up, but can't find a diplomatic way to do so.
Ooooh yeah.
Unrelated note...work tonight. Fine, if a little irritating. Fifty three out of twenty something booked. Not bad if you think about it. Out at ten thirty. I got supremely wasted with G, Joe, Rich, and Dan.
I'm a lot worried about something. I'll not say anything more, but it's bothering me greatly.
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| The feeling gone. |
[19 Nov 2006|01:14am] |
When I woke up, the air was thin. A while of lying and breathing, pushing out air and inhaling heat was all I could take. She called thickly in the night and I started up, not wanting to miss a thing..
"So you..."
"what?"
she seemed taken aback. I'd not long been the kind to answer back and she knew it. She curled a wingtip and a lip to my side and I felt the heavy heat of her against my neck. My hairs bristled and spine reared up like a whip.
"no...I don't...i'm sorry, i've lost my way a little bit..i'll be alright...i'll be fine in a minute...i'm just resting.."
"...you're not resting.....you've given in..."
it was true. My knuckles sat deep in sand and soil..my brow was cut and head bruised...I knew that too much thinking had rendered me naught but liquid..she slipped a white sleeve into my coat..
"it's okay..you'll get it back.."
and with that the forest floor bled..roses became her hips and teeth became tombstones. I passed her lips and escaped into her.
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[19 Nov 2006|02:04am] |
Do not worry yourselves with this. It's a practise post, and it centres on homework. I wrote lines down and in the theme of meter, I made them in such a rhythm.
clutched up tight and in a fist,
tightly knit and full of blesses.
cloven in two still full of life,
she remains in my hand, a lover and a life,
heart beats thickly, blood stream stops,
kicks at my ribs but falls on my walls,
she's mounting an attack, she's no way back,
my house settles down, it's painted black,
no love left, the lane's bereft,
dear horses graze, the grass is eaten,
beaten back and the morning dew glistens..
no longer enough, my baby is christened.
I like some lines, I don't like others. But I love the way they came out. And you know, fuck it...i'll read out what I got and go home. It's all I can do and all I have done. It's at least making me write. And I have done some work today, so I can go to bed satisfied. Which is all i've been wanting to do for the last sodding HOUR.
Night!
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[19 Nov 2006|10:15am] |
What do you do if you're a member of the Killers and want to go to see the Killers? It must be like being in Eastenders and wanting watch Eastenders.
Today I imagined what it would be like if when Aragorn was getting married in Lord of the Rings, he looked at his watch and said "Sorry, just give me a moment, got something to do".
To the gasps of all assembled he gets out a laptop, sits on a chair and clicks about for a few minutes before going "YES!". And what has happened is he's won "Extra hair for Kings" on Ebay.
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[19 Nov 2006|01:04pm] |
Sunday is a day for slow and chilled fermaments in the air. It is in November, anyway. I like November. I had to put two layers on this morning just to stay warm in my little room and I like having to.
This could be my homework. Check it out.
Firm and cold the soil lay,
cracked chilled paths, feet of clay,
tall and wispy the ghosts stand tall,
down amongst them I heard the night call,
breath in mist escapes my mouth,
silently into the air, puffed out in cloud,
wine fills the glass, and love fills the blood,
warm am I tonight, all is said and done
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[19 Nov 2006|01:08pm] |
If I left with any feeling, I hope it was a good one. In the autumn, I smell nothing in the air but a fresh and cleansing dew. The chill empties my nostrils and fills me with hope. Stalactites hang from the tip of my nose and I wipe them with a sleeve shivering and laughing as the tiny droplets of my cold crystallise. My cat dips in amongst the snow and leaves little pawprints that'll be gone this afternoon.
I like Autumn. It is the only season for me, aside Winter. I like the way it gives way to the roads of orange, how I can see my body exhaling it's oxygen. I like having energy to skip off the kerb and the pavement, and I love curling my coat collar around my neck.
I am calmer in the fall.
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[19 Nov 2006|01:56pm] |
Wherin I put on Bolb's Emily Strange coat and mumble for a while, with no consequences at all. Watch if you want to see me wearing a girl's coat, with moggy ears.
I like pretending to be scared of women. There of course in that joke an element of truth, but regardless I find it amusing to greet a female collegue by leaping back a foot and looking shocked.
They laugh out loud every time.
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[19 Nov 2006|02:00pm] |
I look down streets,
and at my feet,
they're glowing at me,
look down that road,
ignore the laughs,
and feel the warm arms,
feel the ice melt,
on your feet,
look down streets and see,
old images of glass windows,
and people sitting together,
sharing a future,
look at my feet,
ice is melting,
look at the street,
it's disappearing into snow,
and my feet are melting,
into the road.
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| I see London, I see Sam's town. |
[19 Nov 2006|07:16pm] |
Write as a subject title the song going through your head every day. It's interesting, goddamit.
Today's is of course the thundering opening track from Killer's sophomore set. It's a lot better in your earphones.
Trip to the Bell, wages, then the New Inn. Watched Dan getting more and more agitated as Tottenham and Blackburn limped to a draw. We all played pool and went seperate ways.
I think i'll leave my work as it is. It should be fine.
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[19 Nov 2006|11:44pm] |
I looked in the mirror tonight.
At my hazel eyes, at my tumbling hair and my deep set wintered brow. And I thought about staying, to survey me..to gauge the difference in my gaze to a time two years ago.
I didn't stay long. I found that whatever had become of it, the gulf and the precipice unitied..the love untied..I never thought for one second that the purity in me was gone..
Let me see....I used to look so deeply in that image...to find anything..something that would catch the eye and which would captivate....I found it in my eyes..I found it in the boy's stare, in the innocent wonder..I knew I was going to be...
I knew one day I would be found. And I was...since I was discovered and the things that came to pass...I cried and I pounded the earth..I threw up great curses and I punched my soul into my gut..but I always..
I forever will look into that mirror and know that I was revered with a great and good feeling..that I never had to count the looks that people gave me because once in my life I never had to ask..even though I did..many times. Because once these eyes stared into another. It isn't something that holds me back anymore. The only thing that does is my loss of my fantastical appreciation of what may be.
But I never look into that silly mirror and think too much. I know if anyone wants to see the beauty in my look, they will despite anything.
Tonight was actually quite fun. Lucy and Kate were out of their collective boxes when I arrived. A lot of drinking and Ipods were present. Rich was barman. Dan was the other attendee.
I have nothing other to say about tonight. The mirror, the wind and the chill are my subjects tonight. Oh, it's been a strange day. But you know, I am often reminded that even in times when nothing seems to move, I still can be reminded of qualities I have, have had and may one day have.
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