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[18 Nov 2006|01:58am] |
Why do I sometimes feel linked through things I should long have left behind. I don't know. Sometimes I see my old face poking through at me and it tells me things are going to be alright, it gives child-like stares and assures me, innocence in it's eyes tells me that i'm going to have a heart to hold close...
But then I hear of beautiful things leaving and I grow so hard in my skin I don't know what to thing anymore.
She feels nothing, he feels nothing. So why is the bad taste always there? Why do I stare off and harbour black blood when I should feel breezes? Why is my boy sick? Where does the shit stop?
None of us is bad, why do the bad feelings stick.........
Never mind. I'll be honest with you all, bad veins eat me like a cancer, and I feel bad when I shouldn't....things that should be put to bed are never dealt with...influences internal and outer leave me never knowing how really to lay my graves...I get sick of trying to pave over things..should you? I mean...should you just solidfy without keeping some things back?
It is only for my personal humanity that I feel these things. I am and have become a selfish and self referential being. I have discovered that only I know me and it is only me that can shape me and perfect me to whatever extent is possible to do so. I think that in some ways I am great for trying, in other ways, am I really getting anywhere at all?
No, this isn't a drunken post. I've been out, working, drinking, watching Mighty Boosh, drinking a bit more, and the drinking went on late, but it is not the root of this post. I am just fed up with wondering if i'm a good man..and trying to shape myself every day and in all ways to be that man.
It's just getting so difficult.
I'm a little sick of trying to be....
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[18 Nov 2006|11:22am] |
Why do I sometimes feel linked through things I should long have left behind. I don't know. Sometimes I see my old face poking through at me and it tells me things are going to be alright, it gives child-like stares and assures me, innocence in it's eyes tells me that i'm going to have a heart to hold close...
But then I hear of beautiful things leaving and I grow so hard in my skin I don't know what to thing anymore.
She feels nothing, he feels nothing. So why is the bad taste always there? Why do I stare off and harbour black blood when I should feel breezes? Why is my boy sick? Where does the shit stop?
None of us is bad, why do the bad feelings stick.........
Never mind. I'll be honest with you all, bad veins eat me like a cancer, and I feel bad when I shouldn't....things that should be put to bed are never dealt with...influences internal and outer leave me never knowing how really to lay my graves...I get sick of trying to pave over things..should you? I mean...should you just solidfy without keeping some things back?
It is only for my personal humanity that I feel these things. I am and have become a selfish and self referential being. I have discovered that only I know me and it is only me that can shape me and perfect me to whatever extent is possible to do so. I think that in some ways I am great for trying, in other ways, am I really getting anywhere at all?
No, this isn't a drunken post. I've been out, working, drinking, watching Mighty Boosh, drinking a bit more, and the drinking went on late, but it is not the root of this post. I am just fed up with wondering if i'm a good man..and trying to shape myself every day and in all ways to be that man.
It's just getting so difficult.
I'm a little sick of trying to be....
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[18 Nov 2006|03:53pm] |
I have spent all day worrying about a small hard grey sold point in my gum. It's rock solid and appears just behind the back tooth on the left side of my mouth. Is it a tooth? Or something else? I'm not happy about it.
And I can't go to the dentist. I don't trust them. It might be a doctor things if it's something bad. I don't know.
Work has been as shit as you'd expect. Infuriatingly busy towards the end, slow and long. I could have happily bashed my head in with a rock this afternoon.
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[18 Nov 2006|03:55pm] |
This is wonderful imagery, from Charlie Brooker's Screen Burn column this week.
Jason Donovan is also there, wearing the precise expression of a Teddy Ruxpin toy that's been through some tough times and currently finds itself timidly edging down an alleyway, toward an untended restaurant dustbin, hoping to steal some scraps without being spotted by the thickset whistling chef in the kitchen. At least that's what he looks like to me.
Face it, he's a genius.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a0/Tr_box.png
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[18 Nov 2006|04:17pm] |
I think they're wisdom teeth. Number thirty one and thirty two of thirty two teeth are finally with us, then. The problem is, I think this one may be impacted, which means it could be growing into the molar, or not emerging properly at all.
Oh dear. I'll keep an eye on this little bastard.
Ideas.
Doves fly high but fall so fast,
silently dropping and with the last shot,
wings break and scatter, and all over the land,
hear the grief as her young gather
Hmmm. I need something to flow...disjointed at best. Just a flash of inspiration, please.
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[18 Nov 2006|06:07pm] |
Ideas today are like a ghost's sperm. Pretty thin. So I instead replaced my icon with Jessica Dragon Quest's grinning face. That is about the sum of my efforts today.
See you later, it's nearly work time.
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