|
[11 Oct 2006|03:27pm] |
Cutted for your own protection. Read at own risk. Weep until you bleed real shitting tears.
( Read more... )
Well, I did warn you.
Anyway, unfortunate toilet trips aside..I showered (Really rather fastidiously), changed clothes and went to work. Fan's still off. Work is hot, still. Get the picture?
|
|
|
[11 Oct 2006|03:58pm] |
This is for my homework. Don't worry, I haven't been to the dentist. It's a sort of fiction.
Friday 12th, 2003.
Today's visit to the dentist didn't go entirely to plan. It appears I have somehow become inflicted with the "Laughing at the wrong possible time", virus, a disease I last remember suffering chronically from at school.
It's the kind of thing that makes you start laughing in assembly halls during a silence in the headmaster's speech, that kind of thing. It's slightly worse when you're a thirty year old man and having a tiny metal saw prodded around your gob by a dentist.
It was all fine until I entered the room and lay down. The dentist greeted me with a quiet hello, and I in returned this..stepped over the clean sterile tiles and lay on the long leather recliner, my body laid prone and now at his mercy. And this is when it all went rather wrong.
I don't know if it's the absurdity of the situation, or a trigger in my own mind that makes it impossible not to laugh at such times, but as soon as my mouth is in the "O" position, I begin to imagine strange things. I try not to, but the more you try not to think of stupid things, the more they force their way in, laughing and punching the walls of your brain, and all you can think about is laughing.
What set it off was the position I was in. Lying down, my eyes wide, mouth in an O. Above my head is a shiny light fitting, that the dentist uses for gawping at the damage in your gob. It's surrounded by a shiny reflective metal, and you can sometimes see yourself in this. Glancing at it, I saw my own face staring back at me....and my own gaping maw stiffened in a silent, unmoving scream.
Images like this have always made me laugh, and this is no exception. I started to quake a little as my body and me made desperate attempts to disguise the rising tide of chortles beginning to bubble in my throat.
|
|
|
[11 Oct 2006|03:59pm] |
"Patient Report.
Reference to patient appointment at 13:30
Patient came in for orthadox check and seemed normal, requiring little more than a check up. However, behaviour in patient was odd. Started displaying signs of slight fitting while in chair, during check up.
All went well until beginning, when patient began to shake slightly, making analysis difficult. Had to ask patient to cease movements, and patient did until a few minutes later, when shaking was more violent, during which it was apparent that patient was in the midst of something that resembled a giggiling fit.
It was almost as if the patient was laughing at me.
Am requesting patient transferred to another dental practise.
|
|