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[08 Oct 2006|12:43am] |
An evening full of work, failed fans and booze.
A party of thirteen took up most of the attention tonight, as they decided to come in fifteen minutes late. At nine, in fact. They didn't eat mains until nine forty five.
I drank like a dog from a fountain upon finishing. Lucy, Kate, Rich, Tom and I were in the New Inn at eleven thirty and got trolleyed.
And Richie, bless him, put on Smile like you mean it, on the jukebox. You know, despite everything...I really don't get sick of hearing it.
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[08 Oct 2006|12:50am] |
Oh dear, England.
0-0. Against FYR Macedonia. Despite pipe cleaner masterstroke Crouch. Despite square jawed and assured booted Frank Lampard. Despite the snaking and oscillating Steven Gerrard. On Thursday, your's Truly displayed more marksmanship. A Murphy's guzzling, flat footed and smoke stained Phylly, managed to hit the mark more successfully.
Ah well.
And I can play in the rain! Honest!
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[08 Oct 2006|01:30pm] |
When I was a young, volcano coverered teenager, I used to read on the toilet. In fact, I turned it into something of a sport. I'd take a comic in their, squat my pimply arse on the bowl and set about chortling my way through Whizzer and Chips, with my pants around my ankles and a hand clutching a new piece of toilet roll, ready to ram it up my arsehole as soon as i'd crapped out a little bit more brown sewage.
Two things occur to me here. How I managed to sustain shittage for the long length of reading, and why I did it knowing that the toilet roll was quite harsh on the ringpiece. Honestly, it was sometimes as painful as having a shard of glass rammed up yer. Twenty five times.
I don't know why I told you that. Serves you right for reading, doesn't it?
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[08 Oct 2006|02:16pm] |
There's a wonderful part in the song For reasons unkown when Killer's frontman Brandon Flowers sings the following:
My heart, it don't beat, it don't beat the way it used to,
and my eyes, they don't see, they don't see you no more...
and my lips, they don't kiss, they don't kiss they way they used to,
and my eyes don't recognise you no more.
And it's sung at the top of the lungs.
Talk about a lyric summing something in your life up. They've gone and written it again!
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[08 Oct 2006|02:26pm] |
What it should say is "Never date a woman who's got a man's face stuck to her left shoulder.
| Never Date a Virgo | 
Demanding, picky, and a total perfectionist - there's no way you want to live up to Virgo's standards.
It's not that you couldn't please a Virgo... you would just hate yourself for doing it.
Instead try dating: Libra, Leo, Aquarius, or Aries |
Stupid fucking thing.
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[08 Oct 2006|05:24pm] |
Today's been nothing but money getting and laughing at regional accents. Last night I had a dream that a dog was trying to fuck me. It was wearing a luminous road-worker's uniform and it's cock was bound with masking tape.
And you think yours are peculiar.
( Read more... )
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