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[21 Oct 2005|10:36am] |
Ha ha. Regarding comments deleted, don't worry about it, M, it was a lovely comment....I think what we do well is remembering with fondness. In my own case, that's what I do. It's how I get a lot of my work, after all. Moving on is important, sometimes a little reminiscing is fun, and heartwarming, if sometimes bittersweet. Though plastic eagles and bull-sized cats are always a chortling bonus in any memory.
.....
So don't worry about overstepping the mark... It's all good. Was quite a funny comment too.
Anyway, yer jabbas, I found myself in the Bell last night with my neck turning to a brick. It's aching and stiff all at once. I need some Flexeril, stat. The problem is.....there is no fucking flexeril here. It's all in America.
Gah. So I must suffer. I don't know what it is but I get a jolt of pain every time I cough. I need a massage and a Guiness, I thought. I got one of those, and drank it down. Realising you can't drink a massage, I coughed it back up and got a Guiness instead. Anne came out of the kitchen in which she'd been washing up in my absence.
Gool ol' Anne. Fiver in the fruit machine, ten back, much flashing lights and carping in between. She suggested a trip up to London on my next holiday.
That would be fun.
I went home and watched Brief Encounter. Oh yes. My neck is much the same, i'd assumed i've pulled a muscle. All that shopping.
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| My god what have we done to you? |
[21 Oct 2005|11:07am] |
Right, settle down for fuck's sake...I know why you're all here, you're thinking..where's the party? There is no party, just a dank room, a cracking bowel and a cup of tea.
Bolb filled up space with coconuts and balloons on my birthday. I can't do that, what with parental presence. However, what I can do leading up to her birthday is to make up fake flyers about a comedy tour she isn't ever going to undertake. Well, certainly not anything like this:
This is the first. I think it's a good idea. I did get a present for the day (Assuming Amazon fucking deliver it), but I thought a nice lead up with faked flyers and dvds with Des plastered all over them was a killer idea. This is the first. If and when I can be arsed, i'll do a dvd chronicles of Bolb and Des. It's birthday week! Slam me a cone!
By the way, the day is actually the twenty sixth. So plenty of time for faked up media madness.
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[21 Oct 2005|11:49am] |
You know how it is, you're in a backwater checking out the cheap dvd's, the ones that have spine towards you as they're so awful the shop can't even bring themselves to display them cover out. You peer along the line like a seargant major inspecting his troops, when suddenly, your bald eye rests on this:
Intrigue, powerful and strong grips you. Who's Des? You poked at the top of the dvd and usher it free from it's brothers, turning the cover gingerly and gawping into the endless void of this:
Your mind doesn't know what to think..you panic...looking around and sweating now, gaping at shopkeepers and other customers, intermittently staring back to see the giant sunken eyes of a cat idiot. What is this? Where the hell did this come from? Who would do such a thing.
Me, that's who, and you will buy it.
I'm going to put this in HMV.
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[21 Oct 2005|12:04pm] |
Your dating personality profile:
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.
Adventurous - Just sitting around the house is not something that appeals to you. You love to be out trying new things and really experiencing life. | Your date match profile:
Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Intellectual - You seek out intelligence. Idle chit-chat is not what you are after. You prefer your date who can stimulate your mind.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. | Your Top Ten Traits
1. Liberal
2. Big-Hearted
3. Adventurous
4. Romantic
5. Funny
6. Wealthy/Ambitious
7. Sensual
8. Shy
9. Practical
10. Intellectual
| Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Adventurous
2. Intellectual
3. Practical
4. Funny
5. Conservative
6. Outgoing
7. Big-Hearted
8. Athletic
9. Traditional
10. Sensual
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Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions
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| Oliver Twist: The short version. |
[21 Oct 2005|12:07pm] |
"Please, sir...can I have some more?"
"Yeah, sure mate, one ladel or two?"
"Two, please"
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[21 Oct 2005|12:49pm] |
I should probably call Daisy. I've had enough encouragement to, after all. And when I really think about it....I would really like to.
The problem is, although she wanted to speak to me a while ago and constantly told me she would love me to visit her in Germany, she never personally gave me her phone number. Now, i'm sure she wouldn't mind me using the number from the kitchen list at the Bell, but it would be rather un-gentlemanly of me to assume she wouldn't.
I am scuppered by a simple polite grace. Bugger.
It took a simple nudge in the virtual arm to remind me that....hang on...I really like her! Once again I missed the boat. Well done me.
Still, we'll see. I would like to see how she's getting on.
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[21 Oct 2005|01:19pm] |
Cat brass band. I watched them there, I watched them here, they travelled the univerese. Bugles, trombones, triangle. Of course they had to be bipedal, sitting on stools and chairs, a tomcat on the viola, a striped one playing the tuba...in the corner a tabby cat plucks at a double bass.
Now why not eh?
My morning has been spent elevating my body of a brown sea, watching it slide down the porcelain like a filthy mountain stream. Yeuch. I've also been reading some old diary entries, which have caused me to think....i'm pretty good at this...all of it...is me!
Oh yes.
It's all coming together...my past and my future, to consolidate that which I currently am. A single, tousel haired twenty nine year old..borderline maniac. But a pretty funny one with a face that literally fourteen people in the world find handsome. Yes!
I'm being silly, forgive me folks.
Anyway, i'm going to get the fuck out of here soon, i'll leave you with this:
Love is..........
"Hey baby...."
"Hi!"
"Habby birthday..."
"Oh thankyou! *smooch*"
"Got you this...it's not much...just a little token of my affection..."
"oooh...you are darling!"
"heh..I know"
"It's a.....a....erm.....a silver statuette of a decapitated bear with the head replaced by a tyre...oh...thanks honey!"
"You're welcome... you fucking love me you do..BLOAMP!"
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[21 Oct 2005|05:11pm] |
I've been lying about and listening to mp3's all afternoon. There's not much else to do around here apart from that and eating loads of food, and if I do that i'll rise above my meagre one hundered and forty five pounds...
Then again, I could eat a bison and likely not put anything on. No matter what I do to it. Even if the bison spent it's days necking burgers.
I reckon i'll be out late tonight, due to dvd watching. I don't know...we shall see. What's a boy to do?
Drink and smoke cigars, knowing my history.
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[21 Oct 2005|05:25pm] |
Pick of the Playing the Angel album. A rattling beat, a curiously retro synth melody. A bloody good Depeche Mode tune for 2005.
Depeche Mode - Lilian
Oh, Lillian
Look what you've done
You've stripped my heart
Ripped it apart
In the name of fun
Oh, Lillian
I'm a poor man's son
And precious jewels
Weren't found in schools
Where I came from
Pain and misery always hit the spot
Knowing you can't lose what you haven't got
Oh, Lillian
I should have run
I should have known
Each dress you own
Is a loaded gun
Oh, Lillian
Oh, Lillian
I need protection
I hear your voice
And any choice I had is gone
Oh, Lillian
Once I begun
I couldn't stop
'til every drop of blood was sung
Pain and misery always hit the spot
Knowing you can't lose what you haven't got
Oh, Lillian
Look what you've done
You stripped my heart
Ripped it apart
In the name of fun
Oh, Lillian
Oh, Lillian
Oh, Lillian
Oh, Lillian
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[21 Oct 2005|05:44pm] |
Your Personalized Assessment Report:Your LQ score could be better, but you are certainly not in an unhealthy zone. You should take care, however, to resolve some of the issues that prevent you from achieving a lower score. You are okay in your relations with your friends. This is good. Additionally, your family situation is not causing you any troubles. A positive family situation is definitely helpful. Things look much more bleak in your romantic life. Making improvements here by finding a good girl can drastically cut your level of loneliness. You need to learn to be more outgoing in order to solve your issues with love and intimacy. Compounding the shyness problem is the lack of people in your area who you can get along with. It's difficult, but you must look that much harder to find people to interact with. You definitely don't have any major insecurity issues holding you back, so your pursuit of elimating loneliness will not be held back by this potential pitfall. Take the Loneliness Quotient Test at Dating Diversions
Thank fuck for that, then.
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[21 Oct 2005|06:10pm] |
Is it me, or is at least fifty nine percent of all life irritating? Perhaps i'm just a much more easily annoyed person than most others, destined to end up a squabblesome thin bearded old man, seething behind yellowed teeth in an old wooden chair with a shawl over my knees.
It's been said, but it appears that almost everything designed for and by humans has to some extent been penetrated by some factor or facet that can and will derive a massive amount of chagrin from your's truly if conistent.
Take now, it's all over the place...this keyboard. Due to having fast, nimble touch typing fingertips, my fast typing is interrupted with teeth grinding frequency by a sticky, clattery, nasty keyboard...every few words contains a typo or three, meaning I have to press the fucking delete key several times before actually completing a sentence. Instead of doing more important things like thinking of funny things about love and bears, I end up snarling and hammering the backspace key like a fucking annoyed grizzly slapping a rock.
Yawning is another one, specifically my own. I can very often be overcome by a bout of it, i'll go from being thoroughly content and alert, to slipping into an impression of a cartoon hippo, a bellowing howl escaping my lips and body as a tiredness I didn't know I had creeps over. I sound like a giant farting through a voice changer.
I hate it, and the worst thing is that when I yawn my eyes water, meaning I have to blink loads to stop looking like i've been crying, especially if there are other people around.
Then there's my mother making more noise than is ever possibly by a sixty year old, she'll make the simple art of moving a single knife sound like a cutlery factory being nuked.
Fucking hell.
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[21 Oct 2005|06:25pm] |
My neck is starting to really hurt now. I can't tilt my head right without extreme pain. And there are no painkillers in the house.
Groan. It feels like the muscle is tight and slow....
I'm going to lay down and hope it improves.
See you all later.
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[21 Oct 2005|07:36pm] |
Right, bollocks to this..as it's my holiday and i've no work tomorrow i'm going to get more fucking pissed than usual. That means four pints instead of three.
See you gumball rallies later. I hope to be around tomorrow, head permitting. For now, here's a limerick:
the salted duke,
was renowned for puke,
and hurling it all at strangers,
he made a mistake,
of putting in his fishcake,
and promptly died of blood poisoning.
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