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[29 Dec 2004|10:18am] |
There are no new nights at the Bell, only different seating arrangements. Round stool. Walked in to find Dan sitting happily at the bar, having finished doing mains in the absence of an ill Andy. I took up residence and talked to him, before he left and I had myself some goddamned fun talking to Daisy and Graham, and casting hostile glances at Doctor Git, yes...the doc was IN, and as usual about as much fun to talk to as a pit full of snakes and rotting eggs.
Left at twelve, and smoked BIG CIGARS ON A WALL with Graham. In the freezing cold. G told me of a dream in which the gathered posse were outside Roy's house in the garden embraced by duvets, watching the sky. I had got up to throw arms into the air, at which point a missile was seen overhead, followed by a BANG, and a nuclear wind that burned Graham, oh did it.
Nice to know I was the catalyst of destruction. I'm happy about that.
I'm going out soon, shopping. I hate the word, it brings to mind aisles and staring, children, people...the hated gasps of DVD browsing. Six for a quid? Surely some catch. There is..you BUY more.
Ok, see you later. I'm off to whore myself.
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[29 Dec 2004|06:34pm] |
Well, I went to Canterbury with the good intention of buying some shoes and trousers for London. I managed one of these things...got some nice black shoes with screws in them, that clomp the street like rotten chimps. However, I eschewed a pair of trousers in favour...of a fucking massive Italian army coat. It's possibly the most beautiful thing i've ever got. Little stars, long...huge buttons with eagles. It's not even that i'm militaristically minded; far from it..but it's the nicest coat i've ever worn. And it's warm, goddamnit. I can imagine walking along a bridge, breathing mist, thumbing a revolver, smoking a pipe, opening a Kinder egg.
Yes, we caught the train that glides to Canterbury, along with Daisy and her young brother. Left them pretty much as soon as reaching the city, and I proceeded to annoy the cunt out of Graham with observation based puns and pedantic humour, as i'm very apt at doing. Several mock fights later, and we had got some shoes, and looked around several shops with nik naks and bongos. Musty stores, miscelleaneous stores, really old clock and camera stores, and the Army Surplus store, within which I found the coat I declared to be MINE. We of course returned later to get it, after a groansome slouch around the record stores, trying to weave in and out of all those out hitting the sales. I contented myself by picking up cds and looking at the front, then turning them around, as if this was going to glean any greater insight into the music on it. It didn't, and I bided my time until I could purchase coat. I did this eventually, changed into it and G, I and a recently aquired Stuart (how is it that out of thousands you can ALWAYS bump into friends?), went to fill our stupid stomachs at Whetherspoons. Then a wasted trip to the station to discover that the next service would in fact NOT be stopping at our village. Another hour's wait. Back to the pub to drink and stare at traffic and people; filing past.....as we swigged and talked and sifted through our ill gotten gains.
A return trip to piss and stone central finally yielded transport, and we came home, lolling heads on the train, and tired as bison in a teacup ride. I don't care, I have a big coat and some shoes. Fuck everything, i'm wearing it out tonight.
Oh, we also tried to get Tongy fired by having a fight in the shop he worked at. I would assume though that it merely looked like two idiots pretending to slap each other.
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| Lotr Two Towers Rewrite Part Uncountable |
[29 Dec 2004|06:56pm] |
Saruman: I really like this big fucking marble. It's like one of those electricity ball things, but with a big eye in it. Anda voice. Like an articulate 8-ball. Oi! Saurers! Got a message for ya! Are you making the tea, you disembodied firery hovering CUNT!
(Scene flashes to Bard-dur with massive armies grooving on a bridge, pans up to the Eye, that is also grooving, in a moving eyeball way...you do the math. How does a retina dance?)
Saruman (v.o.): Yeah, as I was saying, let's get together, crack open some cigars, raze some grounds and pillage while we're at it. You can be blue, i'll be red...we'll play allies...bit like RISK. But with orcs.
(More dancing. Some orcs are playing tubas. Some are breakdancing. All are having a FUCKING good time.)
Saruman (v.o.): Well, if anyone ever gets any work done around here, we'll be victorious in turning the old Middle Earth into a new image!
(Newborn Uruks are pulled from the ground. They joing the mob, partying and propping up the bar, that some orcs have been knocking together all afternoon)
Saruman (v.o.): We have only to remove those who oppose us.........OH WILL YOU LOT FUCKING DO SOME WORK? Who's paying for that?
(Saruman is standing in the crowd of armed Hillmen from Dunland.)
Saruman: How did I suddenly get here? Anyway guys, check it out. I promise, if you lot sort out the Rohan lot, i'll give you all.....beads or something...and i've got some mini pizzas i'll get out...really hot in Isenguard, they'll take minutes to cook.
Wild Man: I'm a vegetarian, i'll have the tomato ones! (CHEERING)
Saruman: If you burn the village enough you can cook them there...here they are, you don't even need to defrost them first...
Wild men: Impromptu buffet!(more cheering and grunting.)
Saruman (v.o.): That was fuck easy.
(Wild men rush off, brandishing weapons.)
Saruman: Bye, lads. I'm so bad, I should be moonwalking.
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Morwen: Eothain, Eothain. Take your sister. No arguing over the saddle. We're in quite a lot of danger.
(The children mount the horse.)
Freda: Papa says Eothain must not ride Garulf. He is too big for him. He says Eothain is never going to be able to drive, becaause he's stupid and a big poo.
Morwen: No, seriously, stop mucking about, that gang of long haired savages will get here just before you ride off on the horse, escaping danger by the skin of your teeth. Now fucking move.
Eothain: Yes, mama. Shut up, you, Freda. You ride beetles, and they roll shit. And you eat the shit.
Freda: I don't ride beetles, you do, and you're a squirrel lover. You like squirrel's nuts. You bury them for the winter.
Morwen: For GOD'S SAKE!. (Sees advancing army.) They're taking their time for a RUSHING ARMY. They've been running around yelling for ages. (The children ride off.)
(Screaming the wild men over run the village, the children stop at the crest of a hill and look back, then ride on.)
Saruman (v.o.): God, this is funny. But...repetitive...i've seen screaming unwashed and burning cottages before...what else is on?
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[29 Dec 2004|08:51pm] |
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Right, that's just about it for this evening, a fleeting appearance, but we got everything done now, didn't we? Up next, Bell Inn action. That action being an inert action, comprised of drinking and sitting on a stool. Again. Well, see you tomorrow.
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