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[03 Dec 2004|08:59am] |
Stomach's growling and the burglars are bumbling.
Alright? So I greet you on a Friday morning, a day of semi relaxation as it involves a mere one shift, which is a nice break between Thursday and Saturday. Work was okay last night, made crucially better by the gift of curry sauce and chips from Andy, and I ate this gleefully.
The bar was nice afterwards, but for the bellowing mass of man in the Public Bar, all talking without class or rhythm, you could not pick out response or question..or anything.
No grace in speech.
Ah well.
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[03 Dec 2004|10:26am] |
Well, before my radish lover graces me with her presence, I have a month of stuff...to do...shopping, working, and college. For some reason, these seem annoying already....and if you couple them with the rigid monotony of yawning, stretching, and shitting like an exploding dust cart...then thirty fucking days cannot seem more irritating. Still, at least there's the Christmas to look forward to...drinking...and er...washing up. Yeah, I do it every year. At least the pay's good. Well, it's reasonable, at least.
Yes, i've been yawning all morning. It's becoming a real bugbear too. I may have to visit the doctor about it. Since I read that piece about heart disease i've been a little jumpy about it.....and my throat is never clear.
Phallic vegetables. That's nothing! My penis looks like a vegetable.
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| It didn't happen |
[03 Dec 2004|10:39am] |
"Mr Danson...i'm afraid somebody has left a forehead in your glove compartment...the valeting will cost more than we thought"
"You know.....Lenny Kravitz...........is actually a bomb inside...all wires and semtex"
"New statistics show that almost 70% of women like drawing throats"
"No Benny....being a clown dictator is a bad idea on a heart attack ward"
"Ladies and gentlemen, our guest speaker...Axel Rose!"
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[03 Dec 2004|10:50am] |
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mood |
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 horny |
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I have an advent calender. It's got twenty four doors, each with a chocolate behind. I don't know this for sure, but as the trend in the initial three days has been small chocolates, I think we can bet on further chocolates as the chonology of Christmas takes grip.
24 has a bigger door, i'm hoping either it's a sucking gravitational hole that'll transport me to Final Fantasy World, but it's likely to be a fun sized chocolate bar or some such.
I also want to have sex, but i'm likely to find none of that in the calender either. Unless things get really desperate. There are holes, after all.
What's behind door 4? It's already open...oh...yeurch...
Dignity lost.
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| Santa |
[03 Dec 2004|10:55am] |
"What's for dinner, Mrs Claus?"
"Turkey"
"FUCK! I'm getting takeaway"
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[03 Dec 2004|10:56am] |
Yeah...time's slipping away like a prison breaking snake. Over that wall he goes...and it doesn't matter to officials because this is a human prison..if anything he's likely to go back in later...to bite a prisoner...films to watch at some point:
Ben-Hur (For some chariot smashing action)
Casablanca (never seen it)
The Shawshank Redemption
Mary Poppins (That tea will fall out surely? Does anti gravity extend to liquid?)
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[03 Dec 2004|10:59am] |
Coming Soon: Elijah Wood stars in...WORRIED AT XMAS
Join the befuddled one as he groans, sighs, and anxiously bumbles his way through the festivities, trying to find the perfect gift for his mother before she er...leaves or something to go to er.....wisconson....wherever that is......Includes baubles and pained staring.
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[03 Dec 2004|11:08am] |
We do have a college outing to undertake this month. Well, I say outing, it means turning up to college, then going and getting drunk. Hopefully.
There's also the panto. I get to sit in the audiences watching screaming children, and men dressed as women playing parts similar to the last one, whilst shuffling embarrassably and alone as this thunderous merriment bashes my ears.
Groan. Please god somebody come with me.
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[03 Dec 2004|11:10am] |
On the subject of the Friday films; Daniel lent me these...they're a triology of comedy films based on the suburban life of Craig (Ice Cube), and his ongoing life discoveries...in the initial film his stunted, laconic dialogue and barely shifting frame is perfectly countered by the seemingly never still Chris Tucker, thus providing some sort of decent comic duality. It has some glorious kind of ghetto cartoon characters. Debo for instance is a hulking bully riding a small bike. Well, it's small to him, at any rate.
The second film is so far an utter let down, as it's characters merely consist of a Tucker-less Cube, trying to assume some familiar in his uncle and cousin...as these characters are relatively weak, Cube has no direction in his humour, rather than being stoned with his silky rag wearing preposterously vile uncle and tightly packed, randy aunt.
It's wretched, and has none of the initial film's charm. It's like watching Ice Cube getting bored. A lot.
Still, perhaps the third will be fun. May watch that later, being Friday and all.
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[03 Dec 2004|11:16am] |
Some sort of review there. Oh look, for god's sake. Isn't a morning ever lasting these days? I remember when noon appeared as a long distant horizon. When lunchtime meant soup and ROLLS, something to look forward to. Now it means work.
Look, i'd better go. Everybody go about your respective business and i'll be back later to further consolidate my efforts in loading Blurty with swearing and jokes.
Bye now.
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[03 Dec 2004|11:23am] |
http://www.world-of-swingers.com/kent/minster_in_thanet-swingers-sex.html
One year ago I was searching for stuff about Minster online, to see how popular we are...and I found a site about...swingers! In my flowery mind this meant people who play in parks together.
No...it's all about guiltless shagging, yes. Here's four from the same thing...I know NONE of them..but perhaps my peers do. Note the blocked out faces. It's all really quite amusing.
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[03 Dec 2004|11:26am] |
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music |
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Aimee Mann - Save Me. |
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Right, now i've blown apart village undertones again, it's really time to go.....see you lot....later...leave you with this modern classic from the film "Magnolia" by Aimee Mann....which you can't hear..imagine this is a radio show...you poodle noodles.
Bye!
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[03 Dec 2004|03:48pm] |
Only a brief update, i'm being chucked off in a minute....i'm no more displeased about this than work though. Twenty five minutes late out; it was a fucking tip. As nearly always, it's stupidly long and annoying work, and i'm sick of it. Thanks a lot to the late crowd, giving me even more work to do as if I didn't have enough already.
Okay, being fed up enough, i'll leave you now. Maybe more later, if I get a sodding look in.
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[03 Dec 2004|07:30pm] |
Right, time for me to fuck right off now......out later...firstly..loud dvd's to annoy Mould, I should except.
Bye, you burrow digging gigglers.
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