|
[03 Nov 2004|09:20am] |
I begin to tire of chavs. They are on every street now, standing often in trios or quartets...like idiot street choirs.....and I am weary of witnessing their ugly sprawlings.
Last night was even worse, they were EVERYWHERE. If I could, I would have simply gassed the lot on the way, with a machine not unlike the ones in Ghostbusters. I've had enough of the little cuntspawn, and to make matters worse, upon walking an alleyway, I had an egg thrown at me.
Yeah. You fucking heard me. Luckily, the aim was that of a one eyed camel with a coathanger in that single eyeball.
Still, the impact of the egg on the ground, though pathetically ridiculous was enough to leave a small mark on my jeans, enough to cause a tornado of rage in me. I've as yet been largely untouched by these cretins, but now they're fucking with me. I turned angrily and debated whether to give chase, weighing up my lack of fighting experience, and the fact that they were running very fast back down the alleyway.
Either afraid of numbers or too lazy to bother, I carried on. What I would have loved to have done is to have got the perpetrator by his witless fucking dimboid neck and smash him against a fucking wall until his head bleeds some intelligence. But that isn't me really. However, if it was something worse, or a different situation I may have done. I'm getting fucking sick of these little dicks. Something will have to be done. They've assaulted my friend Lucy, they've attacked Jamie's house (though this is less bothersome, it's still an irritant), and they're now FUCKING with me.
I'm too intelligent maybe, i've got wit, grace, and I should be above it, elevated beyond feelings of wanting to eke violent revenge. But i'm not inhuman...anger does affect me and if I am provoked further by these frankly pathetic petty criminals, I will get very annoyed indeed.
And I am not a violent man. I am a temperamental man, indeed. But I have no desire to strike people, however these wastes of time are less than algae to me. The only thing about it that angers me further is the apathy of their IDIOT parents who allow them this street time and took so little time out of their proleish pizza scoffing lives to take interest in their child's upbringing. The young need direction in raising, they have none. They are thrown trinkets such as Ps2's to keep them desensitised and imbecilic, then as these things become nothing they go out in search of other dunces to shout and throw things with.
Fuck the parents here. No excuses.
The Bell was nice, though. Aleks and Dee returned from France, and sat drinking wine whilst I read the paper....a fairly jolly evening took place from then on. I flirted with Jo a bit, as much as my fumbling grip of such a thing allows. Hey, just practising. It's fun.
Got home and watched the American elections. The world's biggest political gangbang; utterly reduced to a simple numbers game. What fun.
Snowy boy and his statistical map. What chortles.
|
|
| It really isn't like me to do this one.... |
[03 Nov 2004|11:39am] |
Your Penis Name is: 100% All-beef Thermometer
|
But it achieved the unlikely, in making me snort with a laughter I rarely get from quizzes.
|
|
| Cockney Faramir, son of Denethorn |
[03 Nov 2004|11:56am] |
"Sire, there is a small gangly creature scrabbling in the pool down...er...yonder...what shall we do?"
"Stop squawkin' at me darlin', go get me a fuckin' pipe son, I need me a smoke...finished fuckin' smoking that big map you gave me with all those lines drawn on it. YOU STILL 'ERE BOY?"
"Sir, please don't call me darling."
"I didn't call you that, I called you "darlin'", the ol' APOSTROPHE TRICK MY BOY, now sling yer 'ook precious...invite the little bleeder in, maybe he's got some good old stash on him,"
"Stash, sir? What's that?"
"Don't know...GET IT SORTED, YER slag! I'm off to empty the barracks!"
|
|
|
[03 Nov 2004|12:32pm] |
Soup. It's like a liquid food. Sometimes with food in it. I'm making a fucking soup now, soup for me, soup for you, soup to drink from a didgeredoo.
Slam it in there. All of it. Pretend you're a fucking gourmet chef by ceaselessley hurling things in a pot and cooking it really slowly.
Fucking hell. I'm going to enjoy this. It's full of crap. Broccoli, courgettes, potatoes, beans....BEANS of all kinds! Veg stock.
I am grateful for vegetables today. Penetrate my oral orrifices, you green whores.
|
|
|
[03 Nov 2004|01:24pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Rose - James Horner |
] |
Yes, I know. Hey, i'm one for schmaltzy grandiose cooing choirs and opulent orchestras, so piss off and leave me with my indulgence.
Actually, come here...and have some soup. It's very nice, although I can't be sure if this is due to my cooking, or the inherent taste in the bean sauce.
It's Casersoup-a-rama 2. This time it's more full of stuff than ever. Like a boot sale for the mouth. I am sustained! Now to hurl abuse at something.
Yesterday, the value family pack sitcom tedium of "Everybody Loves Raymond". What today? We shall see.
|
|
|
[03 Nov 2004|07:21pm] |
I am too.
Okay. Just a quick note to explain to you what i've been up to. I've been watching the "Nightmare before Christmas", which is cheery to say the least.
I also ate some more of that liquid swamp of vegetables I threw together. I am now full and probably gaining weight. I should check that...I don't want to rise too far above ten stone. No. However, any extra numbers on the scales is likely due to the viper's nest growing on my head. I will stuff it into a nice band, and go out later. If I encounter any egg throwers, I shall not be responsible for my reaction, whatever it may be.
|
|
| Another quiz that's usually answered by teenagers. |
[03 Nov 2004|08:28pm] |
However, this phenomenon amongst journalling does also touch this diary too. It gives me something to do before drinking, with questions i've answered slightly before but not this obnoxiously. So let's get fucking going.
FULL NAME – Neil Alan Stilwell
NICKNAMES – Phylly boy, Stills.
EYES – Hazel.
HEIGHT – Five feet eight inches.
HAIR – 7 inches approx.
SIBLINGS – Two sisters, Bolby and Dawnie.
DO YOU LIKE TO SING IN THE SHOWER – Yes. Usually songs of murderous incitement.
DO YOU SING ON THE TOILET – No. Well, not in that way. It's more akin to a elephant getting it's neck stuck
in a combine harvester.
BIRTHDAY – September 6th, 1976
STAR SIGN – Virgo
ADDRESS – A fucking long way away from you, I would hope.
SEX - Male.
RIGHTY OT LEFTY - Righty.
WHAT DO YOU WANT MOST FROM A RELATIONSHIP? Now that's a good question. And I will answer it. An unexplainable and palpable chemistry that is impenetrably beautiful. Or someone who keeps chocolate jackdaws as pets.
CURRENT STATUS – Single. Hmmph.
DO YOU HAVE A CAR – No.
WHAT CAR DO YOU HAVE & WHAT DO YOU WANT? I would have thought we'd covered that. I want a big shoe on wheels. With enough space only for my head to peek out.
FAVORITE THINGS:
MOVIE – Alien, I think.
SONG – "Let's stay together." Al Green.
BAND/SINGER – U2. Divine Comedy.
TV SHOW – Twin Peaks
ACTOR – I like whoever is good in a given role.
ACTRESS – See above.
FOOD – Chicken
NUMBER – 8
CARTOON – Angry Beavers.
COLOR - Black.
LOVE LIFE ETC
DO YOU WANT KIDS - I don't know.
DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED – Perhaps.
HOW OLD DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GET MARRIED – Old enough to drunkenly yell and get away with it at the reception.
HOW OLD DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS – I don't know, bean nose.
DO YOU HAVE A BOY'F/GIRL'F .... IF YES, WHO? – No.
DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH? – Yes.
EITHER/OR - PICK ONE
MUSIC/TV - Music.
GUYS/GIRLS – Girls.
GREEN/BLUE - Blue.
SUMMER/WINTER - Winter
HANGING OUT/CHILLING – I would have thought you could do both at once. In that case, both. BOTH!
DOPEY/FUNNY – Funny.
OTHER STUFF
YOU KNOW I'M AROUND WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORDS:: "Boris Badger, faked a ledger"
WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO – I did go to a secondary school for failures.
HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN DRUGS – Yes.
WHAT'S A MAJOR TURN ON FOR YOU – The glint in the eyes.
HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE – It really depends on whether they stick around and don't run
away before i've gnawed through all the breadsticks. Honestly, it really does not matter to me.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SOUL MATES – I think they exist. Yes, yes I do. yes.
IS IT OK TO FLIRT IF YOU HAVE A BOY'F/GIRL'F – I think so.
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU CRIED ABOUT - I actually don't know. It was an attack of depression, which
in my case needs no reason. The cheeky scamp.
ARE YOU HAPPY AT THE MOMENT – Oddly yes. And oddly no. And oddly, both.
LOVE OR LUST - A heady mix of both would do nicely.
SILVER OR GOLD - Silver.
DIAMOND OR PEARL - Pearls. I can play marbles with them.
SUNRISE OR SUNSET – Sunset through trees in a forest.
HAVE YOU EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING – No.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS – We've had this before...no I don't. I had a fucking stuffed dog as a
child called Joey who bled his cunting stuffing away. Canine FAKER.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS – No.
WHAT COLOR UNDERPANTS YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW – Sort of purple lines.
WHAT SONG YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW – I'm not.
WHERE WOULD YOU GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON – Probably somewhere with a waterfall you could walk behind.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH – I don't fucking know that yet!
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX – Eyes, my darling. Searching eyes, dark
eyes. EYES!
FAV SPORT – Tiddly Wink Massacres.
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY – Shitting writing. Laughing. Thoughts of epicly romantic futures for all of us. Parties in the lobby of an opulent hotel with revelatory meetings and dances. Cats!
DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS OR GLASSES – I need glasses. Oddly, this is identical to the previous poster's answer. Except that bit.
WHAT'S THE BEST ADVICE YOU'VE EVER BEEN GIVEN – "You can't fly by simply flapping your wings really fast,
so don't"
HAVE YOU EVER WON ANY AWARDS – "best behaved cub scout", due to the fact that I did NOTHING, said NOTHING, created NOTHING. I was the best conditioned, in other words to be a good little silent drone.
WORST SICKNESS YOU EVER HAD – Depression.
FUNNY OR SCARY MOVIES – Most are punctuated squarely in the genre by shit. So i've no preference.
ON THE PHONE OR IN PERSON - In person.
HUGS OR KISSES – Both have charms.
WHAT SONG SEEMS TO REFLECT YOU THE MOST – "This Year's Love" - David Gray, strangely enough.
IF YOU DIED WHO WOULD YOU LEAVE EVERYTHING TO – Des and Bolb.
GOT ANY ENEMIES - I don't know. I care not if I do.
WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR – Loneliness. And albatrosses with the faces of all the bagpipe playes in the
world stitched onto their own faces.
WOULD YOU RATHER BE RICH OR FAMOUS – Rich. Celebrity is wank.
WHAT TIME IS IT IN ALBANIA NOW – Probably nine thirty,
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE – No.
IF ET KNOCKED ON YOUR DOOR AND ASKED IF HE COULD USE YOUR PHONE WOULD YOU LET HIM? – No, i'd
say "Fuck off, you look like a turd shaped into a pair of eyes, and besides, you're fictional."
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SPOKE TO THE PERSON YOU LIKE- About ten minutes ago.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE DEPRESSED – Today.
WHAT JEWELRY DO YOU NEVER TAKE OFF? – I take it all off at some point. i do wear my now very rusty little
necklace Griever rather a lot.
WHO SENT THIS EMAIL TO YOU – Swiped it.
DO YOU WANT YOUR MATES TO REPLY - If they so desire. They'll either be bothered or they won't. It's of no
matter, ringwald. Now sling your hook before I slam you with a book.
|
|
|
[03 Nov 2004|08:39pm] |
Dear me, it's twenty to. I must depart and make myself look like a squashed samurai. Tie yer hair back, drink Guiness and hit the sack........
The streets shall be watched tonight.
Goodbye for now.
|
|