| Observation |
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| 02:08am 25/08/2006 |
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mood:  amused
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At first, I thought I was unique. Now I realise ... I am just a freak :-) |
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19 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| The Geek Partitioned ... |
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| 11:25pm 04/01/2006 |
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mood:  blank
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I occasionally have this urge to post Maths problems which most of the miniscule readership of this blog is not interested in. This causes me to end up posting lesser of this stuff than I did like to and also triggers some phunny comments in the comment section :-) So now batwaara is the only option. Batwaara to hokar rahega. I am moving the maths stuff to a new blog http://www.blurty.com/~mathpuz (Yeah I know, I need multiple blogs to cope up with my copious output :-)) I have reposted the grand total of 4 puzzles posted in the 3 year history of this blog there. Plus two new bonus problems. The nice thing is that problems are rated, so following the blog should be more worthwhile. Also, there is a "Blog FAQ" ... not that people have been asking any questions about the blog with any frequency. This new blog should get updated most likely once a month. So, those who like the new blog, bachha log please advertize the blog link http://www.blurty.com/~mathpuz |
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9 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| Apne pairo pe khade hona |
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| 12:26pm 24/12/2005 |
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mood:  okay
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My roomie gave me notice (bachha is getting married :-)) so I will now be going solo for a while (unless of course I come back from my trip to India this Jan-Feb with wife, family and kids in tow). I have never squatted alone at any place before. This should be an interesting experience. My zamaana has completely badal gaya over the past year. Firstly, I switched jobs, so I no longer see any of the faces I saw at work 1 year ago. Plus all my friends have gotten married. Yes, I really mean ALL OF THEM. Which basically means that I dont see any of them anymore. So I will have to find new friends or invent new friends or withdraw into the monastery for those over the hill. Anyway, I will be apartment hunting, shopping for the India trip, and surviving on my own two feet for the next month, so, most likely, this blog is going to be a quiet place for some time. Not that it made too much noise anyway ..... :-) |
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12 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| It is that time of the year again |
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| 08:01pm 15/12/2005 |
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mood:  contemplative
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My last Math post was an year ago. So time for a new one. This time the problem is a lot simpler. Infact, the simplest I have ever posted :-). The one I posted an year ago was a monstrosity :-) http://www.blurty.com/talkread.bml?journal=zoheb&itemid=18626
Here is a tame new problem.
________________________________________ From: XXXXXXX XXXX Sent: Wednesday, December 14, 2005 1:21 PM To: Mathematical Problems; Puzzles and Logic Problems Subject: Another problem from Russian Math Olympiad.
You have n+1 positive integer weights which add up to 2n.
You have a common balance. Starting in descending order, you began placing the weights into the pans of the balance. If the pan is balanced, you put the next weight in the left pan, otherwise you put the next weight in the lighter pan.
Show that after you place all the weights, the pans are balanced. |
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20 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| My Left foot |
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| 07:39pm 30/11/2005 |
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mood:  enthralled
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Yes Peoples, I know you have been waiting breathless to know about my exploits or valourous defeat on Sunday morning or maybe not .... but anyways. I had a solid 3 hour sleep on Saturday night thanks to my roommate and friend deciding that "Shaolin Soccer" was a good movie to watch on Saturday at 11:45 pm in the adjoining room. Shaolin Soccer is to Soccer what Marathon is to running, so the choice may have been appropriate, but I disgress ... The TV volume was turned low, however the guffaws and audience comments from the adjoining room were deafening. Anyway, I got up in the morning got myself to the stadium next to the Seattle Space Needle and warmed up for the run. And did I tell you that 10000 other people were running with me!! The half marathon started at 7:30 and the gun was fired. But nobody was moving because there were thousands lined up on the road. It was only 5 minutes later that I was actually able to start running. My aim was to do 1 mile in 12 minutes aiming for a time of 2:37.
My left foot had always been the black sheep in my leg family right through my 5 weeks of training. It maintained its reputation and promptly within a mile it complained of pain on the inner side. I stopped and tightened the left shoe. And guess what, after a mile it complained that the shoe was too tight. So I loosened it a bit and decided to pay it no further attention.
Kept running for another mile and we hit the I-90 freeway. I could see a kilometre ahead and behind me and the freeway was packed with people running. And running through the illuminated half mile tunnel was also fun. Even more fun was watching the faces of people lined up in really long queues outside the portable loos for an emergency marathon break :-P
Between mile 5 and mile 6 my left foot threw a tantrum and turned itself into a real PITA (Pain in the ankle). I had to stop, do some stretching and walk for the next 5 minutes. Lost plenty of time there. Completed 6.1 miles in 1:17hrs. And from there we hit very hilly stretches. I thought I would walk on the hills, but one uphill stretch was so long that I started running, or else my half marathon run would have ended up being a walk. Kept jogging along until 9 miles and then I devised this brilliant plan. The previous week I had run 5.6 miles in 1:10 hrs, taken a 5-10 min break, had energy gel and then run the next 3 miles like crazy in half an hour. I thought I would do the same this time too. So I just ambled along between mile 9 and mile 10 and the people around me were also very tired and running slowly, most probably amateurs like me. I crossed the 10 mile mark in around 2:05 hrs.
And then I took off!! I ran like hell; the stretch was partly downhill and I was literally sprinting on the downhill portions. It was amazing!! It felt like I was running thrice as fast as everyone else. I felt like a bullet bursting across a gently flowing river. I was out of breath but I kept telling myself that I had to do this only for 25 minutes and I would have completed 3 miles and the half marathon. I kept it up for perhaps 12-13 minutes by which time I must have completed a mile and a half and overtaken almost 1000 people and then the course hit yet another uphill stretch and I started realising that I had started my sprint a mile too soon. I slowed down to a walk on the uphill track and then when the track flattened out I couldn't run. Try as much as I could, I could only walk. And then I limped, walked and ran for the next mile. When I neared the stadium there was this crowd cheering and a band playing loud thumping music, and it was incredible, once you hear the pounding music you cannot walk, you can only run!! And then we entered the stadium and I made a final sprint across the last 100 m and saw the clock tick over 2:47 (the time was corrected to 2:43 later to account for the delayed start) I had gotten across and made my point :-) Only after finishing did I realise that my feet were so sore that I could barely walk. Funny thing was, I could run but I could not walk :-) I was presented a nice copper medal. Nobody came rushing for my autograph, but thats OK, they will learn of my fame and dominance over the Internet and this Planet later.
We hung around for the full marathon guys to finish and the looks on their faces as they completed 26.2 miles told their whole story. An observation, if you ever try to run the full marathon on your first attempt, then you are guaranteed to never forget it for the rest of your life. And if you have a marathon run in your city DO NOT MISS IT. You will know what I am talking about when you cross the finish line.
And yes of course, the link is still up :-) Please loosen the purse strings a bit :-)
http://www.ashanet.org/seattle/events/marathon/runners/zohebv.php |
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15 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| Raising Funds for Asha |
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| 09:44pm 26/11/2005 |
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As I said in the last post I will be running a half-marathon tomorrow for Asha to raise money for their MUSKAAN and SUPPORT program. It is a programme for vocational training of underprivileged children. You can find my profile, where you can make a contribution if inclined, here
http://www.ashanet.org/seattle/events/marathon/runners/zohebv.php
My aim is to try and raise 100$ for every mile that I run. Here is some info about how far your contributions will go. Every city block I run (with your sponsorship) in the Seattle Marathon will buy something like 20 textbooks for underprivileged children. Every mile I run will pay a month's salary for a primary school teacher in a village. If I manage to run the half marathon and raise 1300$ with your support, it looks like we can sponsor a batch of students for an entire year.
Be assured that all your money is being spent on a good cause. Asha is a zero-overhead, all volunteer organization. I will update you guys with the status of my 13 mile run tomorrow. Some underprivileged kids and this blogger will be thankful for any contributions made. |
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4 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| Run Zoheb Run!! |
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| 12:17am 14/11/2005 |
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mood:  determined
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The news is conspicuous by its very absence in blogland. Though everyone pretends to not have noticed what has happened, it is the foremost thought in every blogger's mind. Where is Zoheb Vacheri and why hasn't he updated his blog? Why isn't he leaving any comments anywhere?! What has happened!! I have now chosen this moment to break the silence. This moment unlike any other seemed exceptionally ripe for silence breaking. The reasons for this are manifold as for any important occurence. Actually it is only two fold.
Firstly, I have switched jobs. I am working at the same place but I had to interview and stuff so it was almost as good as changing jobs. Thusly, I was busy.
Secondly, I am running. Yes you heard it right. This blogger can run. I am not a pair of hands typing away on the keyboard as many have suspected. I have legs too. "So what?", the non-astute reader may ask - "I know many people who can run. Infact every person I know can run ... I run everyday after the bus." I can only shake my head at your ignorance. Yes it is true that many have wondered whether Zoheb Vacheri is capable of putting on a pair of shoes, much less make a run for it. Yes it is true that the very sight of shoes has been known to make me nervous. I have conveniently slipped into chappals when the daunting thought of wearing socks and tying shoelaces unnerved me. Yes, I have driven distances as little as 10 yards because the thought of walking the distance has distressed me. But all this has changed. Every weekend I wake up in the morning and run. Run like nobody's business. Infact it is nobody's business but mine. Like last week I ran more than 11 miles. Yes, you read that right. It is not 11 yards, it is not 11 furlongs, heck it is not even 11 kilometres. It is 11 authentic and original miles you wont find anyplace else. Those who have developed a sudden concern for my physical or mental situation may rest assured. Significant deviations from my mental or physical situations will result in an international crisis and ye all will know soon enough. Why is it that I am running insane distances? Actually, three weeks ago I decided to join two FOBBs (Fresh of the Boat Bloggers ;-)) in their dozen mile weekend run with a modest contribution of a mile. First guy is Vikas, who most people on this planet knew before he was born. I have never met anyone who didn't already know him. In case you haven't met him or heard of him please leave a comment explaining why. The second is Tulu guy Rohan. Aishwarya Rai had made a lame attempt to patao him three years ago. However he thought she was too old for him. And that is why he left India. Infact, there are two other runners who run with us. However those two apparently have a life and do not blog. About it. I can't understand why.
Now that the question has been translated into "Why are the five of you running?" here is the response. We are running for Asha. We will be running in the Seattle Marathon on November 27th. I will be running half the marathon - 13.1 miles. Vikas and Rohan have insensibly decided to run the whole 26.2 miles. Such things do happen. So November 27th is D day. And we will be running to raise money for Asha. I have the glorious ambition of raising 100$ per mile I run. More about the charity fund raising later. It deserves another post of it's own. So for now I am stopping here. Bye bye, gotta run .... |
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14 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| Kahaani mein twist .... |
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| 06:20pm 19/09/2005 |
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Dheeru was lying with his face down against the ground contemplating his future as dacoit Jabbar Singh took aim at him from a distance. But Dheeru would not take this lying down. He slyly indicated to his employer Gurudev Singh to pass the rifle lying right next to Gurudev's foot. But Gurudev only took a look at the rifle and did not budge. Dheeru was aghast! Why was his employer, the very person who employed him to fight Jabbar Singh not pushing the rifle towards him. WTF!!! Suddenly a strong gust of wind blew, and the ever present shawl fell off Gurudev Singh's shoulders. What he saw shook Dheeru to his very spine.
Gurudev Singh had no pants!!!
This story is a work of fiction inspired by various short stories seen recently on various blogs. All resemblance to any characters, dead or alive, are purely coincidental. |
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22 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| The interview all of you had been waiting for ..... |
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| 05:52pm 31/08/2005 |
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mood:  ecstatic
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Heck, there is no chance in life that I will get interviewed or bloggerviewed or blogospheroed or some such. But I honestly deserve to be interviewed so I am going ahead and interviewing myself. I copied the questions from
http://indiblogreview.blogspot.com/
The Bloggerview (An interview with Zoheb the Blogger behind all the Idiots)
(This interview was self conducted in emacs)
Who are the contributors to your blog?
Just the three of us. Me, Santa and Banta Singh.
How would you categorize your blog? (Politics, Personal, Economy, General, Poetic, Literary, Blogsurf, etc etc)
Large doses of everything. Master of all domains known to mankind.
How long has your blog been operational?
My blog has been operational and inspirational since Nov 2002.
Did your blog receive any special recognition / awards / any special feat that you would like to mention?
Yes, I have received many special references, awards and adjectives that noone else has. However I would refrain from mentioning them, this being a PG 13 blog and all.
Why do you blog? What keeps you blogging because this I hope is not your full time job?
Is this question some kind of insult?!
How do you find the time from your non blogging life to blog? Any secrets?
I save a little time each day. And when I have saved up enough time, I use it up to blog.
What do you think is the purpose of your blog? And do you think you have achieved that?
Hmmm, I had always felt that my blog needed a mission statement. I hope to find one here http://dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/games/career/bin/ms.cgi
What do you generally like to blog about? Which is your favorite category for blogging?
I generally like to blog about Me. My favourite category is I, Me and Myself.
IF asked to choose what is your own favorite post?
Difficult to do that. Each blog post is like my own child. It is hard to pick favourites. On last count I had 82 children and I don't even know all of their names :-(
Any anecdotes or interesting incidents related to blogging that you would not mind sharing?
I had always had a very "niche" readership. Basically, single digit readership every day. Then one day, I was featured on blogkela.blogspot.com. On that day my readership hit a peak of 25. On that day I wept :-) nedstat still recognizes that record event.
Why did you chose this name for your blog?
It was to make the point known that I am not the only idiot in town. On a serious note, I have been wanting to change the title to "Zoheb Vacheri lies here" but blurty isn't letting me :-(
Do you blogsurf? How Often?
Yes, no stats are currently available.
How do you blogsurf? (RSS Feeds, Blog Roll, Bloglines, sites like Desipundit, Bloghopping etc)?
I use a web browser.
Which are the blogs that you like to read? If the list is long, do mention the top 2 - 5 blogs, and if possible please explain why you like them as well?
zoheb.blurty.com/friends because they are my friends :-) namoona - It takes one to know one. alpha - Very useful in bumping the hit rate of my blog. gabby - because .... eh well .... masochism ... whatever. sidin - Yet another Mallu guy who isn't getting any. rhyncus - Because he is a doodhwaala in Nigeria. khushee - The girl I first proposed to and the proposal was almost accepted ... :-)
How do you think new bloggers can increase their blog traffic? Any other advice to the new bloggers?
Please leave comments on my blog and subscribe to some mass email and commenting service. Other techniques include visiting very high hit rate blogs and leaving comments like "...completely agree with you ..... very insightful waah re waah". The problem with disagreeing is that the blogger will raise such a stink that you will stop visiting. The best policy is the agreeable policy. Also be willing to endure insults. For example Gabby insults me in every other post. Such as here http://gratisgab.blogspot.com/2005/05/gripes-galore.html. And more recently I was called a relic from the past and got roasted on a tawa. However I am back for more. Also maskofying the blogger works wonders. For eg for alpha, I have this routine. Alpha, I love you, alpha you are very pretty, alpha you write better than Mark Twain, alpha you are so non-Patel, alpha you are so famous. This routine helps you hang around in her comment box.
What do you think is the single most drawback of blogging in India? Or why do you think blogging has not caught on as it should in India
Single most drawback of blogging in India is that nobody cares about it. This applies to other countries as well. Blogging has not caught on in India because unemployment rates in India are quite low.
Also more importantly, the single most drawback of blogging is that blogging is a drawback for most singles. Ya I know, you would have come across the hajaar I met my wonderful partner in life through meh blog. But it is time for some cold hard facts. I have only "met" my own classmates or married women through my blog. And somehow all the single women whom I "met" through my blog suddenly ended up getting engaged or BFed within a few weeks of encountering me. Sinister ....... Better spend your time elsewhere.
What are your thoughts on advertising using your blog?
Be ready for zero click-throughs :-)
Do you think blogging per se requires any regulation from the Government or other authorities?
Yes, there should be all kinds of regulation, licensing and taxation.
Thank you. |
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41 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| Of unspoken dreams .... |
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| 12:22am 03/08/2005 |
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mood:  nostalgic
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Of lovely laughters and unspoken dreams, Of heavenly valleys where I could have been, Of things forgotten and things unseen, Of that drop of heaven that slipped past my seams.
Of nervous touches and diffident eyes, Of hiding rainbows and trembling skies, Of fearful peeks into the glorious precipice, Of things that could have been, if fate had no vice.
Why dream of the angels if you have no right, Why stare at the rainbow if you have no flight, Why pause at the canyon if you have no sight, Why caress a wound if you can't stop the blight.
I wish I could tell why I run along every alley Hunting for that bountiful valley, That captured my dreams when I was in a reverie; A slice of paradise that was never meant to be.
It may not be but it is beautiful still, It may not exist but it makes my heart tranquil, It torments and heals, and is the nervous thrill Of a secret joy that fate may yet kill.
An unforgiving reader may as yet laugh To hear the longings of this just born calf. But tell me fairly, is it not true; As I speak for myself, I speak for you.
I am the folly of youth, it may seem, I may make my fate impossible to redeem, I may collapse and run out of steam, But Oh! what is life without an impossible dream! |
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41 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| On being ragged or tagged |
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| 03:39pm 14/06/2005 |
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mood:  hyper
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There was this classmate of my sister who so totally wanted to get ragged on her first day of college. She would fret and fume with high hopes - "Oh! I think I will get ragged today". Nonsense - none of this would happen. She would stand around in the campus ground hoping that some one would come along to rag her but nothing happened. The same thing was happening to me these days. I so totally badly wanted to get book tagged, but considering my legendary fame in the blog world and totally dorky geeks (I am sorry guys :-P) listed in my blurty friends section, I was in serious danger of being ignored by this whole book tag wave. Kind of like Malaysia in the tsunami. I had some hopes from high priestess alpha, but she "spared" me. Now aldrin who apparently has a non geek blog audience has rescued me from my island of isolation. Enough of emotional, happiee-yipee blather. Lets get down to the tag!!
Total books I own: Around 4000-5000 ..... Thats almost a book for every other day of my life. Oh OK, who am I kidding. Its around 4-5 in my apartment right now. One of them, a book I did not want, thrust upon me unwillingly :-) No wonder noone was book tagging me. Must have 30-40 books back at home in India that I shared with my sister, this excludes Tinkle, Champak and such other kidstuff.
Last book I bought: Now this is embarrassing. I bought Gullivers Travels and Wuthering Heights in Sep/Oct 2002.
Last book I read: Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte, July last year when in India for vacation. Yes, I read it 2 years after I bought it :-)
More recently I read a bit of Algorithms by CLR :-)
Five books that mean a lot to me. I can think of only two 1. A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawkings. Changed the way I look at things permanently. Jaw was plastered to the floor for 3 days. Dealing with Time can be funny business.
2. Introduction to Electrodynamics by David J. Griffiths How to sit at home and calculate the speed of light using only pen, paper, Coulombs Law and Lenz's law. Maxwell teaches you how. Later Einstein teaches you how to sit at home and using only pen, paper, Coulombs Law, Lenz's law, (and Maxwell's "minor" correction) show that time gets converted to length and vice-versa, how time is only partially ordered, and how you cannot possibly move faster than light.
Thats a major-league geeky list but allow me to list books that I liked though none of them meant a lot to me 1. Three Men in a Boat - By Jerome K Jerome. I am known to talk about this book to unsuspecting people. A laugh riot. 2. Leave it to PSmith - By P.G. WodeHouse. Must be the funniest Wodehouse I have read. If you havent read it, you are a fool. 3. Adventures of Tom Sawyer - By Mark Twain. Again a laugh riot but I read this over a decade ago. 4. The Invisible Man - By H.G. Wells - Kinda spooky. Great change from comic book heroes. 5. The Mirror Crackd - By Agatha Christie. One wouldn't expect a murder mystery in an all time favourites list, but the conclusion of the book had my jaw hitting the floor (the second time now) and bursting into tiny little pieces. 6. Wuthering Heights - I liked the book for Heathcliff. 7. The Dilbert Principle - Scott Adams. Need I say more? 8. Discovery of India - Pt Jawaharlal Nehru. Awesome book. Read it from cover to cover ......... actually read only the first two chapters, but it makes my fave book list look so nice and refined that I had to add it :-P I have already concluded that it is a great book and will read the rest of it later :-P
Rounding off with a geek list 9. Michael R. Garey and David S. Johnson. Computers and Intractability. - Has the most hardcore exercise section of any book I have read. 10. Beer and Johnston - Mechanics - Statics and Dynamics. The best book on rigid body mechanics. Has only 2 or 3 solved problems per chapter but once you understand them, you are the master of the domain :-) 11. Norman Balabanian - Electrical Network Theory - Not sure of the title or the other authors. Made me feel incredibly superior to my class mates when I was reading this book :-P While they were writing simultaneous equations for loop currents, I was dealing entirely in matrices and realized that Kirchoff was actually a graph-theorist and the way to construct circuit loops is to build a spanning tree and add one edge. 12. Graph Theory - Douglas West - The only book I read on and off occassionally.
And my addition - The list of books I hate. 1. Electronic Materials and Components - By Students Series for Bombay University - BLLLEEEEAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH 2. Principles of Economics and Management - By Students Series for Bombay University - BLLLEEEEAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH++++ 3. The FountainHead - By Ayn Rand. I know people are going to hate me for this. But I had to get this out of my system. I havent even read the book :-P but hate it so much :-O It is piece of fiction which turns normal people into philosophers+economists in one shot. If you want to be a philosopher read Spinoza. If you want to be an economist read Adam Smith or actually learn economics. But dont rely on fiction. And dont murder me in my comments section for not reading the book :-P Its fricking huge :-O
Books that you can buy for me :-P 1. Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down - I will take this book anyway you want me to, sitting down or otherwise :-O 2. Maximum City : Bombay Lost and Found by Suketu Mehta - The "underbelly" of my city :-) 3. H2G2 - Have read a few quotes and looks like it is really funny. 4. Michael R. Garey and David S. Johnson. Computers and Intractability (I dont own it :-() 5. Ketan Mulmuley. Computational Geometry: An Introduction through Randomized Algorithms (mea just curious) 6. How to win dates and bowl over women _ A guide to making yourself acceptable to the female of the species (Better late than never :-))
People I would like to book tag - Aldrin (yippeee - infinite recursive loop established), ashu, namoona and khushee.
Now that I am done with tagging, let me say that I find it kind of wierd how the people I met in college sound totally different on their blog. Aldrin was a nice solid chap with a ready quip, now I realise that he is actually Devdas who thankfully hasn't yet met his Paro :-P Ashutosh was your regular geek with ordinary looks. Now I realise that he is a really funny guy who actually looks very much like Shahrukh Khan. So many surprises blog land has in store for all of us .... Toodles. |
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23 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| What happens when you solve an NP Complete problem in polynomial time .... |
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| 02:06am 02/06/2005 |
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mood:  amused
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First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you lose. |
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12 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| India and Pakistan are in a bar |
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| 11:35am 13/05/2005 |
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mood:  amused
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Non Techies please dont run away from this post. There is humour inside.
DBP from apna IIT Bombay managed to fool cnet and slashdot into thinking that "India is Eyeing Its Own Open Source Licence". Linky http://yro.slashdot.org/yro/05/05/13/1235245.shtml?tid=155&tid=106. The reason why I am posting this? One of the comments in the thread was outrageously funny. Here is my copy-paste job :-)
India and Pakistan are in a bar (Score:2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday May 13, @11:02AM (#12519843) Ind: We are having our own open source license now. Pak: So you think you are big shots with your own open source license now? Ind: We are super-power. Of course we have Open Source licenses! When will you get computers in your third world country? Pak: We have computers and many other things. You do not know about us, because your people live in shacks and answer the telephone for Americans. Ind: Better to live in a shack and have a high-paying technical job than to eat cows and live in huts as your peasants do! Pak: We will blow you up! Where will your Untouchables beg after that will happen? Ind: We don't have those old social problems! We are advanced nation with 3D satellites and Open Source licenses, while your people live in huts eating the flesh of dead things. Pak: We will still blow you up! All your base are belong to us! |
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9 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| Facing the odds: Lewis and Clark today |
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| 06:47pm 21/04/2005 |
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mood:  contemplative
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Four score and seven days ago myself and three similarly lukkha ppl had gone Europe-hopping. And it was on our trip to Venice that we were to witness one of the greatest marvels of mother nature. It happened to us by a mere accident of time, and I am forever grateful to fate for this event. So here we were lounging around at Venice airport to pick a rental car. No, we werent arriving from a flight but were just there to pick up a Fiat Punto. We were expressing disgust with the rental guys in English. Service really sucked. Apparently they wouldnt give us the car unless we showed them a receipt. Merely showing up and saying "Hullo, me book car last week, can you give me keys" wasnt enough. Our outrage was even further outragered when they refused to accept our Washington State Drivers Licence as ID. What was a mere receipt when compared to an ID (that too of Washington State no less, mind you). Deep in trouble, deep in Italy, carless and receiptless only the great Lord who could save us. We were in a pickle and all avenues seemed to have closed. Frustration was high and the first few rounds of the blame game had been pre-emptively initiated. It was under such trying circumstances that we met da Man.
He was a man with a refined air, around 50 years of age, dressed in a business suit and obviously desi. Standing straight and coolly surveying the people in the terminal around him. He soon approached my friend and started talking. Lotsa handwaving, grim looks and deep stuff started happening. I felt it prudent to interject myself into this conversation, which couldn't possibly do without my insight. "Kya hai", I helpfully proffered.
Rest of the Hindi conversation transcripted in English for the linguistically challenged.
"There is a problem", said da Man "What problem?" I asked "Would you know what are the interesting places to visit around Venice?" "There is the main island, all the landmarks are there .... " "Where can I find a hotel to stay?" "I dont really know, we booked our rooms online before we came here" "Problem is I dont know English ..... bahut badi problem ho jaati hai" "Oh Ok" "Can't get much done without English" "What about Italian?" I helpfully suggest "No" "So are you on a business visit here" I ask, guessing from his business suit. "No, I have come here as a tourist" "Ok, are you with anyone else?" "No, I have come alone. This is how I usually travel." "And you havent booked any rooms?" I am impressed by now. "No" "Do you have a guide book?" "No. All guide books are in English. So ..." "So ..... why did you come here?" "To visit. I have visited many places", saying that he pulled out his passport. Man, what a passport. A passport stamped with a thousand different visas. And then he begins to rattle out the places he has been to. Its as if he has been all over the globe. "You have been to all these places alone?" "Yes" "For tourism?" "Yes" "You dont usually book anything in advance or carry a guide." "No, never. They overcharge if you book in advance. I dont even book flight tickets in advance, I drop into the airport and book the ticket right before boarding."
By now, I am speechless. I am looking at da Man with renewed reverence. This man here boldly sets out globe trotting when he is in the right mood without such stupid accessories as a guide book, tickets or the knowledge of a language other than Hindi. And here we were chickening out because of one missed Punto. "How do you get around once you land. Hindi isnt particularly helpful" "Oh, I usually find desis who are touring the same place so I join them."
And suddenly there was light.
"So where are you guys staying?", he asked "What places are you visiting today?" In the face of such adversity an ordinary guy would easily chicken out. Myself being the guy one would unhesitatingly classify as ordinary, chickened out. My other friends however were more enterprising.
"We are here to catch a flight out of Venice .... to Guantanamo Bay", friend explained, "We are so sorry we can't accompany you." "Oh Ok, no problem, if I knew which bus to board for Venice"
No problems with that. We got him to a bus stop and figured out which bus he had to board and hoped that he could read English numerals, though we dare not ask. By now, of course, the astute reader would want to know what happened to the Fiat Punto. Astute readers wouldn't by definition reading non-astute blogs like mine but still .... the mere problem of the unavailable Punto, was such a trifle in face of the huge adversities and language barriers that Lewis and Clark and da Man faced, that we were humbled by this experience. Punto or no Punto, we would learn to get on with life. We could think of the hungry people in Africa, unemployed people in Siberia, employed people in Bombay's Virar local or Presidents in America. What was the mere absence of a Punto when compared to such trials and tribulations of human life. The truly coveted gift that Mother Nature has conferred on us mortals is our great spirit that helps us beat all odds in the face of insurmountable adversity. That truly, was the marvellous revelation I had at Venice that day, and I am forever thankful to da Man for his message. |
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19 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| Compliance post |
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| 02:25pm 18/04/2005 |
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mood:  accomplished
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This post was made to comply with requests by many people to update my blog. Actually only one person requested the update :-( |
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6 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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| The Odd Game of Life .... |
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| 01:21am 22/12/2004 |
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mood:  accomplished
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Ok, a problem I am forwarding from a Graph Theory DL follows. I helpfully offer to tell you that the solution to the problem wont flash into your head in 5 minutes time :-D
From: ****** ******** Sent: Monday, December 06, 2004 4:43 PM To: Graph Theory and Combinatorics Subject: Odd Game of Life
To start off:
In the odd game of life, we have a graph (simple, undirected) of N cells. Each cell could be dead/alive.
Starting (time t = 0) from a random configuration of deal/alive cells, the game of life proceeds as follows:
At time t+1 a cell becomes/stays dead if an odd number of its neighbours were dead at time t, it becomes/stays alive otherwise.
Show that if all the cells simultaneously become alive first, at time t=k, then k <= N. |
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6 Lies - Speak the Truth !! |
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