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Lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless. [18 Jan 2005|07:17pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Idlewild - The remote part / Placebo Sleeping with Gohsts. ] OK, i should really update...i just don't feel like i actually have that much to say. I'm starting to question my grip on reality, infact i don't quite know what reality i ever had any more. CHristmas felt like a big Saga, with me stuck in the middle and not really wanting to be anywhere. Things happened on Christmas Eve, which proved to me im a solitary person at times, and have to deal with things on my own, however scared of those things I am. It was pretty crap. New Year finally got the better of me, although i had a fantastic time in truth i was unhappy, it all ended with me as a drunken blubbering heap who proceeded to splurge her bad news rather than her intended plan of keeping it to herself. But then when push came to shove, i wanted to be no-where but home. I loved seeing everybody together again, like it used to be, although it was again totally weird because we all had other people and experiences to talk about...frankly it was odd. The there was a whole thing at the beginning of January which threw me totally because i didn't and stil don't know what to do. Now I'm back in Aber, and nothing seems real, I want to go home again. Today I've sucessfully been sacked, admittedly by a boss who i hate, and he indeed hates me, but its not good, this is a town qith 20,000 students and 10,000 natives, all the students want jobs, and there jsut aren't enough. I need the job! The other problem I have with this, is I didn't say what i though of him, I let him take my number incase they were desprate, and leve me with a parting gesture pay packet...I wanted to go in and scream and shout, and tell him exactly what i thought of him, and how fucking miserable he has indeed made me of the past couple of months. Oh well it means i can go home on sunday for a week rather than being here, which is good. I have an exam on a subject for which the lectures were utterly useless and the lecturer was an utter TWAT! I have no notes of any relevance, and only have my own reading to back me up...im terrified! Ive had enough of exams and revision, and frankly I'm fucked with university, i want to give up about now! I don't need people convincing me it is the best thing i will ever do, and that i should really stick it out, i need soem good sound unbiased advice, and im stuck on that one. Uni is jsut so lonely and im not sure im cut out for it. Its sooooo windy here, i nearly got sucked into the sea, and i half wish i could be a seagull and fly on the wind, because it looks fantastic. The sea is wild, except now i'm wary of it, i have learnt that it cannot be tamed and I don't want to tame it, jsut sometimes i want to be part of it. On a positive side, I have booked a couple of days in London with Deanie, which is very exciting. That and Miss Kirsty says she will do my hair if i want if she comes down to Nottingham for the boys meet...i just need to find a job that dosen't care how crazy my hair is, im not sure how easy this will be...hmmm. We are going to shrewsbury on Saturday to get pierced, i know i want something, im just not sure exactly what yet, hmm decisions decisions. I know most of this is cryptic, any burning questions jsut ask. Im not going back to revision, and i promise more updates more often. xx strangers on trains

Boredom kicking in [22 Nov 2004|02:10am] Q: What color is most reflective of you? A: Pink Q: How did you get the idea for your diary name? A: says it all, that and ZI is never long enough, "snation" im telling short name descrimination, jsut so no PC. Q:What time were you born: A: 11:11 am according to my father, who incidentally wasnt there for most of it. Q: What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing? A: Damien Rice - The blowers daughter, but the CD player isnt withing kicking distance. Hence silence. Q: Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? A: Define celebrity, i cried when they stopped showing the gnomes on TV, that was sad. Q: What color underwear are you wearing? A: blue and orange flowers, pink bra...its sunday Q: Do you want a baby? A: For dinner? I'll have mine rare, thanks. Q: What does your mom do for a living? A: Accounts, and stuff involving vending machines and a telephone. Q: What does your dad do for a living? A: Pretends hes working? Q: What is your pet's name? A: If you count the ball of dust/richards hair under my desk, its name is Derrek. Q: What color are your bedsheets? A: Blue. Q: What are the last 3 digits of your phone number? A: Hang on...this could take some time...oooo 241 Q: What was the last concert you attended? A: Reading. Q: Who was with you? A: Emma, Dean, Edwin, Richard, Sarah, Bob and Bob's mate. Q: What was the last movie you saw? A: "All about eve" 2 hours and 10 minutes of 1945 drivel. Just don't do it to yourself. Q: Who do you dislike most at this moment? A: The mess in the kitchen. Q: What food are you craving right now? A: Subway sandwich, I HATE WALES! Q: Did you dream last night? A: Yes, something about finding a house for next year that was perfect. Q: What was the last tv show you watched? A: The news? I dont have a TV here, erm can't remeber. Q: What is your fave piece of jewelry? A: My singing bracelet, not one that actually sings, jsut wear it to sing in. Q: What is to the left of you? A: A lamp, bulbless. Q: What was the last thing you ate? A: Nacho Crisps. Q: Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? A: Dean? Q: Write a song lyric that's in your head? A: I wanna hold you, wanna hold you tight, get teenage kicks all through the night. Q: What song is that from? A: The undertones Teenage Kicks. Q: Who last imed you? A: you what?? Q: Where is your signifigant other right now? A: Nottingham (and if Em counts shes in Cambridge!) Q: Do you have a crush? A: Yep. Q: What shampoo do you use? A: Whatever i lay my hands on, right now its green and smells of apples. :) Q: When was the last time you cut your hair? A: Properly, end of September, my frige got cut about a week ago. Q: Are you on any meds? A: Paracetamol? Q: Do you have a mental disease? A: Not any more, although some would question this! Q: What shirt are you wearing? A: A black one? Q: What time is it? A: 1:55am Q: What is your fave frozen treat? A: Ben and Jerrys. Q: Are you sexy? A: Of course. Q: Whats your favorite shopping store? A: Somewhere not in Aberystwyth/Wales Q: Are you thirsty? A: Nope, drinking Vodka maughahahaha! I NEED TO GET A LIFE/STOP LIVING IN WALES!!!!!!!!!!ARGH!!!!!!!!!! strangers on trains

[18 Nov 2004|01:05am] My my havent things changed! The lovely computer geek types have totally changed the layout of all this. Well my summer was UBER hectic, and basically I got lazy/got a social life/got bored of this journal keeping milarkey. Anyway onto major news. I am currently living in Aberystwyth (affectionately known as Aber"fucking"ystwyth.) As you may have guessed I ended up here through clearing, because I was too busy being lazy during exams and so did not get into the UEA (poo) and Aber was the best offer I got. In honesty, the university is great, its jsut the town and the abundance of anal welsh people who insist on speaking welsh and refuse to be nice to anybody that i object to. That and the fact that its not the most exciting place in the world and being Wales, by default it rains more here than it does at home! I don't like being this far from home, and when im not here and am at home its not the same becaus nobody else is there, well except for Dean and Edwin and Pepper, the girls and the other boys are all off in other parts of the country, and frankly its lonely. I live in a student house with 5 other people, and Jen from school lives over the road (which is nice) and although the first few weeks here were great and we all got on jsut fine, the past week there seems to have been some sort of mutiny. I was under the impression we were all going to try stay in halls next year like we are now (university owned student houses) however everyone here has turned round and said they are getting a house without me in town next year. Jen and I after weighing up the pros and cons, have decided we are proably going to try get a flat jsut the two of us next year, then we dont have to worry about people not paying bills ect. But its jsut soo much hassle, and because there isnt 6 of us we proably wont be able to get a house up here next year, just end up in hellish Penbryn hall! (Cell block 9 is a fairly accurate description!) Aber itself is really quite a nice town although it makes Ilkestonia look exciting! I live by the sea, and im a mem,ber of the RockSoc, PunkSocK JugglingSoc Surf Soc (god only knows why! I wouldent want to go in the sea atm if you paid me!) and the debating society. And frankly its good to feel like a geek again, it seems to be only me doing all the reading, and actually i dont care because i love it. Jen and I are going to have a TV free house and read the times. Although im currently looking up internet options which get to be expensive if its just the two of us, but hey ho, shit happens right! Anyway, my eyes hurt (opticians on tuesday fun fun fun!) so im going to bed! xxx strangers on trains

[18 Nov 2004|01:05am] My my havent things changed! The lovely computer geek types have totally changed the layout of all this. Well my summer was UBER hectic, and basically I got lazy/got a social life/got bored of this journal keeping milarkey. Anyway onto major news. I am currently living in Aberystwyth (affectionately known as Aber"fucking"ystwyth.) As you may have guessed I ended up here through clearing, because I was too busy being lazy during exams and so did not get into the UEA (poo) and Aber was the best offer I got. In honesty, the university is great, its jsut the town and the abundance of anal welsh people who insist on speaking welsh and refuse to be nice to anybody that i object to. That and the fact that its not the most exciting place in the world and being Wales, by default it rains more here than it does at home! I don't like being this far from home, and when im not here and am at home its not the same becaus nobody else is there, well except for Dean and Edwin and Pepper, the girls and the other boys are all off in other parts of the country, and frankly its lonely. I live in a student house with 5 other people, and Jen from school lives over the road (which is nice) and although the first few weeks here were great and we all got on jsut fine, the past week there seems to have been some sort of mutiny. I was under the impression we were all going to try stay in halls next year like we are now (university owned student houses) however everyone here has turned round and said they are getting a house without me in town next year. Jen and I after weighing up the pros and cons, have decided we are proably going to try get a flat jsut the two of us next year, then we dont have to worry about people not paying bills ect. But its jsut soo much hassle, and because there isnt 6 of us we proably wont be able to get a house up here next year, just end up in hellish Penbryn hall! (Cell block 9 is a fairly accurate description!) Aber itself is really quite a nice town although it makes Ilkestonia look exciting! I live by the sea, and im a mem,ber of the RockSoc, PunkSocK JugglingSoc Surf Soc (god only knows why! I wouldent want to go in the sea atm if you paid me!) and the debating society. And frankly its good to feel like a geek again, it seems to be only me doing all the reading, and actually i dont care because i love it. Jen and I are going to have a TV free house and read the times. Although im currently looking up internet options which get to be expensive if its just the two of us, but hey ho, shit happens right! Anyway, my eyes hurt (opticians on tuesday fun fun fun!) so im going to bed! xxx strangers on trains

[01 Jul 2004|09:34pm] [ mood | indescribable ] [ music | Foo Fighters - There is nothing left to lose ] Well this could be the last entry for a while. I'm off to Australia for 5 weeks tomorrow (yay) and so I may not have access! I finished my exams yesterday, and then went out and got really drunk with Jack and Nick, its nice to not have to do anything! We met up with Lizzie and Julie and Nat, and Lizzie and I burried the hatchet, although they have proved to me they really really grate on me and so I'm not sure I'll be seeing much more of them in future. I feel so much better now my exams are over, I had a feeling the strange breathyness was because of exams, and it was happening atleast once a day over the past couple of weeks, but today I've just felt totally better, I didnt feel like I was going to be sick when i got up, and I just feel better, and I'm looking forward to not having to do anything. Emma made me a copy of Damien Rice, O and I love it, i downloaded aload of his stuff and it reminds me of Dean, I miss him. Right so from here its 7 days in Perth, 3 days in adelaid, 2 days on a train to sydney, 10 days in sydney 7 days traveling from sydney to melbourne, 5 days (possibly 6 dont quite know when the plane comes back all i know is i get back here for the 6th of August) in Melbourne. Yes so thats the plan. I will try and send emails, but Emma has been told to log onto my account just so they dont shut it down like the did last time i went away! So if anybody appears its only em, although it might be me, i will try my best to find a couple of cyber cafe's during my persuit to blow all of dads money, he deserves everything he gets! To Dean: there should be in my room, either on the desk or the sofa some stuff for you, look for the spotty envelopes! To Jack: be careful chuck, i will come see you when i get back, you have no choice! To Trina: Don't let Em go too crazy without me! And go a little crazy yourself! To Emma: Now my dear, you cna chill! Just do nothing, and remeber to drink lots, btu not before dinner with lovely people! To all of you: I love you all very much, and I miss you all already, you are my very lovely friends and I don't know what I'd do without you, you guys keeps me sane and keep me on par and make sure I'm stil trying. I love you all, be good and be careful. Love you, miss you xxxx strangers on trains

Owww [29 Jun 2004|11:57am] Ive hurt my back, and I'm in agony, i had to get my mum to do my hair for me this morning because i cnt lift my left arm up! I dont know what I've done, all i know is it hurts, and i am sooo in need of a hug to make it better! strangers on trains

[27 Jun 2004|01:39pm] [ music | Incubus - I miss you ] I Miss You To see you, when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real. To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold utopian dream. You do something to me that I can't explain. So would I be out of line if I said, I miss you.(?) I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine. You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wastin away. I know I'll see you again whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care and I miss you. (incubus) Last day at work yesterday, yay. It was cool because Nick wasnt there to be a total arsehole so Chris and I could do the jobs we wanted to do, like cleaning out the cellar, because its cold in there! I also got roped into doing checkpoints on the scout night hike, which was cool, but managed to get out of staying the night there, i really needed to sleep in my own bed so I came back here with Jack and we watched Evoloution. Im glad Jack came with me though because I woulden't of wanted to be out on my own at some of those checkpoints, and I dont think it was fair of richard to expect me to! It kind of hit things home abit though. One of the scouts who was a beaver when i was a beaver leader, and a cub when I was at cubs, Mum died yesterday morning, yet he was stil out with us, there smiling an enjoying himself. He's only 11 and I've known the lad since he was 5, and hes such a lovely little boy, you see how life is totally not fair, and however bad we think we have it, there is always someone worse off. I suppose being out with his mates was just his way of dealing with it. I had to stop myself going up to him and cuddling him and trying to wrap him up, it was just strange how he managed to go on completely as normal. strangers on trains

Birthday presents [25 Jun 2004|11:44am] For my birthday I would like: An american, so i could keep them in my pocket and make them say cute things in the accent, A duck, jsut a little one, i promise i would house train it, Someone elses feet, as mine are cold and my left one hurts again as I fell out of bed...again, Sombody to write my exams for me so I can dance areound while they do it, so I don't have to sit still for three hours, Hugs, lots of them, Waffeles and Ice cream for breakfast. That will be all, hehe. Love you strangers on trains

[24 Jun 2004|04:36pm] Run I'll sing it one last time for you Then we really have to go You've been the only thing that's right In all I've done And I can barely look at you But every single time I do I know we'll make it anywhere Anyway from here Light up, light up As if you have a choice Even if you cannot hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear Louder louder And we'll run for our lives I can hardly speak I understand Why you can't raise your voice to say To think I might not see those eyes Makes it so hard not to cry And as we say our long goodbyes I nearly do Light up.. Slower slower We don't have time for that I just want to find an easier way To get out of our little heads Have heart my dear We're bound to be afraid Even if it's just for a few days Making up for all this mess. -Snow Patrol Says it all about everything at the moment, its all jsut got very crap very quickly, but ive done it on my own before, i can do it again. I jsut wish people were here to do it with me...thats all. strangers on trains

[23 Jun 2004|03:25pm] How do you do it? Make me feel like I do. How do you do it? It's better than I ever knew. You are stellar. I sorted my CD's out the other day, I've got a new CD rack, and got them all off the top of my desk, so they look far tidier, which made me feel like i had dome somethign useful. I did the exam from hell yesterday, biology, what shit. I think the examaners must of though "how many shitty questions can we put on a paper." I was grumpy, very grumpy, so i went out and bought stuff to make things with. I have made a pretty necklace that i can wear all the time, because ive lost my my string of pink beads i used to wear all the time (godammit!) And i also made some pretty black and pink and black and white cards, it was cool, and it made me happy. I spoke to Dean for a while, they were back at the Italian federation, and they have been to a castle, which sounds really nice...I so do not want to be here! Its so silly, its June and they are issuing flood warnings! Grr! Ive not done a huge amount today, a little revision, I'm slightly annoyed with becky because she went to subway on the way home and didnt call me and ask me if i wanted one! Grr! I want to go camping! I need to get out of here, I go to Oz a week tomorroa and I can't wait, but I just want to chuck my tent in the back of the car and go. might go with Dean when I get back, he of course has no choice in the matter! Oooo when i called Dean last night his amercan friend Joe picked up, he has the cutest accent! He made me smile with the line "who may i say is calling." How cute!! I want one, and american that is, jsut a little one to keep in my pocket :D. I miss you. strangers on trains

[18 Jun 2004|10:26pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Badeil & Skinner - Fantasy Football. ] I feel much better today, everything is getting easier, now the exams are happening things are going on and I'm not jsut sitting around thinking. The RS was interesting, they asked bloody Industrial Espionage!! How could they, there is so little on it we had been told to jsut learn it so we could relate it to business ethics if we had to! Argh! It was either that or an essay on determinism, which i really don't understand! Mrs Daw's paper was OK, I think, i was too busy feeling sorry for myself about the ethics! General studies was quite funny, there was one document on some girl who had to move out of home because of the noises her father made when he was eating, apparently her mother wouldent confront him about it because she was lonely and scared! How very strange. Emma and I rushed into town to get to the pub for the England Switzerland game, which was very exciting, but we nearly had to watch from outside as they were only letting one in and one out, we were going to eat there, but we changed out minds and went to weatherspoons afterwasrds, why because Thursday Night is Curry Night! Didn't see the flag though, I was told i might see it at tonights match, but I didnt either. Dean gave me the number of his friend who gets free incoming calls, so i rang him at 5, feeling quite cheeky for askign a bloke i dont even know if i could speak to him, and it turns out Dean was in the other car! Oh well, I'm sure he will text me when he is with Joe and can talk, I do stil miss him. I don't know where everyone is tonight, hmm, some sort of conspiracy perhaps? Ooo Nick gets home tomorrow and has promised to come out on the 30th with me to get me drunk after my last exam! YAY! My nose is cold, apparently its not going to be much hotter in oz than it is here, beause we are all along the south coast, I am actually quite happy about this as it will mean less sitting on the beach days, although it might be too cold for surfing, oh well theres always Newquay. I want to go see the Giraffes and Hippos in South Africa, and im stil holding on to coming back from Oz and reading and Barcelona. Hmm I'm off to go warm my nose up, and possibly much something. Love you. strangers on trains

[15 Jun 2004|09:17pm] God I miss him, I'm not used to not hearing from him for a day, and not hearing his voice, I hate it. Ive got loads of revision done, which is good but revision means i have too much time to think, i can't jsut go out and get drunk to take my mind off it, I'm here all day, and I'm thinking all the time. I dont like being on my own. I miss seeing people, im going stir crazy here on my own, and I haven't heard from dean today, and i know i cant expect him to get intouch every day, but i miss him. where are you? strangers on trains

[13 Jun 2004|05:11am] [ mood | lonely ] I dont really know why I'm writing this, its 5am, I left Dean with Jon an hour ago, I know how Eurippidees feels, I shouldent have looked back, because all i saw was him beeing taken from me. I suppose I jsut thought if I sat there all night he woulden't go, time would stop and nothing would change...retard. I left work today asap and went to his, and have sat there and watched the hours slip by, I just didn't imagine it would hurt this much, its only eight weeks right? It seems like forever right now. I don't want to go have a shower, because I stil smell like him, adn I cant sleep, because I cant concerntrate on anything else...I need help. I wish I'd tidyied up since he was here on thursday, its all things he moved and things he left, its so weird. Its dawn outside adn all the birds are singing, I like this time of the morning for that, its so beautiful, it smells nice, it looks nice, and best of all there isn't anybody shouting or spoiling it, wish smeone was here, anybody, because its too lonely. If you are reading this, can you please jsut drop me a line to let me know, you dont need an account or anythign to leave a message, I just need to know somebodys there. I love you. strangers on trains

[07 Jun 2004|05:23pm] I'm completely screwed on my own, I dont know what I'm doing but I can't do anythign but sit here and cry about it. strangers on trains

Moaning will get you everywhere. [07 Jun 2004|01:34am] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | the gentle whirring of my computer and the voices in my head ] Have been moaned at by Dean for not updating so here it is: Tuesday we went to see Harry Potter, which was brilliant, then Dean stayed here afterwards and spent Wednesday teaching me Economics for my general studies and genrally making me learn stuff. The spent thurday mornign with Em doing the same thing, then muchness of revision. Nick from tales rang on friday to tell me they couldent keep my job whilst i'm in Oz, which I expected, the only thing im pissed off about is the fact that he could have told me that when i booked the time off (IN FEBRUARY!) so i could have got something else lined up. Mum is going to pay me to do telesales for her, for almost double what tales are paying me, so no more shitty hours, no more shitty people, and yay for mummy! YAY! Nick then proceeded all of saturday pussy footing around me askign me i we were stil friends, i have always thought he was a Twat and nearly turned round and said "no Nick, we have never been friends." Grrr! I went to Em's on friday night, and got pleasantly merry, and watched Clerks which contains references to necrophyllia and Haemaphrodite porn, and is frankly weird! Work was ok, we actually had people get married in tales, service and all, they were dressed up and everything...yuck, like you would! I managed to get out early because beyond 3 only wenches were needed and I dont wench! Rargh. Dean and I went to Baslow and sat on top of the rocks on saturday night, for an hour and a half. It was nice to be up there, but it made me sad, and i cried, god only knows why, but i enjoyed it, i like the drive out there, and i like it there, the view the smell the sound, it was lovely. I've not long taken Dean home, and i miss him...sad. He goes to Portugal on sunday and gets back a couple of days after I go to Oz, and so i wont see him for about 8 weeks, but i suppose after eight months, eight weeks is nothing right? What am I going to do? I need some non exam stressed people! Argh! strangers on trains

[31 May 2004|08:09pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Oasis - Morning Glory ] The ball on friday was good, really good. The girls looked beautiful, they really did and Dean looked lovely in his suit, it was all in all a really good evening. Work on saturday was crap, I hate working there, i really do, its so amazingly shit, Chris is very bossy and frankly I hate it, she may have been there for longer than me but she just give me all the shit jobs to do, and loves to make it look like i do nothng. Anyway in the evening Jeffo finally rang me, having spent an afternoon with Trina, I assume she said something to him, and we decided to go for a drink, ended up with me picking him up, driving him into nottingham, driving to meet dean, richard, edwin, pepper and sarah and then driving jeffo home before going back to deans, where we watched wrestling and slept until 4:30 in the afternoon. Which was nice. Dean cam here for dinner, and then i drove him home, and theres a list of what ive done over the past 4 days! But frankly I have felt like shit, I keep doing strange breathy things which is fine until i scare myself and then it gets worse, so i stopped on the way home from deans, initially desiring vodka and cigaretts but ended up deciding on Peanut M&M's deciding they were proably better for me in the long run! Right now I'm slightly annoyed with Jack because she said we could go see harry potter and has just been with her mum and brother, so I'm waiting for Dean to get back to me on that one, i figure i can either go for a late night showing tonight or tomorrow because i dont have to be home early and i can drive to the cinema and back. Emma and Trina are both objecting to going saying both the other films were no where near as good as the books, honestly that isnt the point, books regardless they are stil good films, but hey ho, I shall go even if i have to go on my own. Although Dean will be blackmailed into coming, because he made me go see Gothica rather than the cat in the hat! (hehe) That will be all. strangers on trains

Grumpy Bum [27 May 2004|07:54pm] [ mood | grumpy ] Yesterday was my last day at school, what excitement, we alldressed up like we had fallen out of fame, and basically trashed the school. It was fine until we realised we had to drive in to school, and sitting at traffic lights trying to look inconspicous when your eye shadow is up to your eyebrows isnt very easy! I was in a foul mood, we have all been in a foul mood, but frankly I couldent see the point in me being there, it was fun for all of about 30 mins, when we had to tidy up, and sit through fuck boring assembly i got pissed off. Emma and I decided we would go home during the Kareoke (bleugh) to get changed, so we walked back to Em's and I drove us back in, and we went to fade, where I didn't stay for very long, because I was broke, and the provided drinks all contained alcohol, and I'd have to drive my car back to ems, so I went to Deans and was grumpy to him, but I slept at his for an hour or so (and apparently made funny moany noises)and felt much better. His mum made us saussages for dinner, I like saussages. I then went back to em's and we went to the Pit and Pendulum, templars and the horn in hand. We were decidedly merry! We walked Trina back to her bus stop and there was a boy on the road who had been hit by a car, well nobody seemed to know what to do, so i did my whole "can i help, i know some first aid" thing, as i have been taught to, and sobered up dramatically, and ended up helping, it was very exciting, and surprisingly i didnt scare me atall! ( Read more... ) strangers on trains

[20 May 2004|10:16pm] What will your last words be? by cum_on_bitch Your LJ username Your real name Your sex Your age Your last words will be... "who spilt my beer?!" Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen! Possibly fairly accurate, life is good, Im so tired, but so not sleepy! Tjis is getting silly, Dean and Emma are doing a good job of looking after me, i just need somebody to come over with a baseball bat to come along and knock me out! strangers on trains

Sonnet [18 May 2004|09:20pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | The Verve - Sonnet. ] Yes, there's love if you want it Don't sound like no sonnet, my lord Yes, there's love if you want it Don't sound like no sonnet, my lord My lord. I left at 2:30 today, I coulden't be arsed with biology, I had felt crap all day/week. My head keeps spinning and I keep hyperventillating. I jsut got in the car and went out to woolaton and sat on the grass for a couple of hours, I coulden't sleep because there was a creepy looking bloke wandering around, but it was jsut lovely to sit in the shade and calm down for a while, I needed that. I'm not sure I'm going to manage to stay up much longer, I need a good nights sleep, I need to stop stressing, and stop letting people make me stressed. strangers on trains

Long time no see. [16 May 2004|04:08pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Norah Jones - Come Away With Me ] Well this week has been fun fun fun, I think I must of had about 8 hours sleep in total this week. (ok this is an exaggeration, but at worst i got 2 and at best i got about 4 hours a night) I am so freaking tired, but I cant sleep, and I'm too tired to do anythign properly. So im getting up in the morning and getting out of my head on pro plus, and hoping for the best. Friday I had a hair cut, and sat for hours with Dean at the hairdressers waiting for bex to have her hair put up for her prom *yawn*. All her friends came back here after the prom, and didnt bugger off until really late, grr. I needed sleep! Last night Emma, Jack Trina and I went out, we invited Dean and ended up meeting up with Jeffo and Edwin, James and Pepper. It was a fun evening, and I finally got a nice picture of Dean and I (we usually look dopey in pictures, more often than not its me pulling a silly face rather than him.) Anyway we went to the rescue rooms, which as ever was brilliant, except it was really hot. I was tired and hot, and my head started to swim, and i thought I was going to pass out, I think I did momentarily. Anyway I hadn't had much to drink atall, so i think it was because i was over tired. Dean rescued me, took me outside and made me feel better, he tried to talk me into staying at his so we could go straight home then, but I didnt want to leave, and I had said i would stay at Em's, so he had to go home and leave me with Emma. That was all ok until my head started to swim again, at which point Jeffo decided to call me to ask for Trinas number as he stuck his tongue down her throat and thought it was only polite to text her (grr very grr.) I picked up and told him i couldent talk, and hung up, he just rang me back and Emma shouted at him, it was jsut so stupid of him not to wait until today, I don't know why it couldent wait. I started to panic at this point becausxe i coulden't make my body breathe properly, or stop my head from swiming, it was not nice and I started to hyperventillate, at which point it was chucking out time, so all the otehrs came out. I have to say Dean, Edwin and James were perfectly lovely gentlemen, offering to take us home, and making sure I was OK. We ended up getting a taxi back to Em's, even though its only a 10 minute walk, I was jsut running hot and cold and my head was doing all sorts of crazy things. I feel lots better now, after a good nights sleep, we are going to see the Vines tonight, Ive promised I will go, but truthfully I want to jsut stay home and sleep it off, so I think I will jsut loiter near the back somewhere and listen. I just feel I should explain and apologise for what happened, thankyou for being lovely adn I really am very sorry. strangers on trains

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