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Monday, January 26th, 2004
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10:20 am - Jane oh my sweet suculant nutsack!
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ash on grass: 2+2= 22
ash on grass: nah just fuckin with u
ash on grass: so ur keri most likely eh?
Fortunes Fate420: so mikeys... whaaa... yeah its early m ornin shakin wakin n bakin
ash on grass: lots of sense
Fortunes Fate420: hell no mikeys sittin here with me hes typing and everytghing
ash on grass: oh i see
ash on grass: hey mike
Fortunes Fate420: high
Fortunes Fate420: :-D
Fortunes Fate420: wuzzup?
ash on grass: burnt out
Fortunes Fate420: from whaa?
ash on grass: nice pot
ash on grass: smokage alot
Fortunes Fate420: from cl???
Fortunes Fate420: lol
ash on grass: g ray
Fortunes Fate420: wtf?
ash on grass: lol
ash on grass: we dont deal with cl anymore
Fortunes Fate420: why not
ash on grass: dunno
ash on grass: lol
Fortunes Fate420: and whered g ray come from
ash on grass: hes always been around, like spin has. curtis has connections with him
ash on grass: nice ones
ash on grass: so u must be pretty bored
ash on grass: got any friends now a days?
Fortunes Fate420: hhmm?
ash on grass: do u have friends to chill with
ash on grass: .......................................................
Fortunes Fate420: we were in town twice last week n got wasted with adam
Fortunes Fate420: not to mrntion last nite but he wasnt there
ash on grass: nice
ash on grass: have u heard of ryan adams?
ash on grass: the singer?
Fortunes Fate420: iea]
Fortunes Fate420: yea
ash on grass: hes awesome
Fortunes Fate420: no lie i know
ash on grass: lol
ash on grass: yep
Fortunes Fate420: great
ash on grass: swell
Fortunes Fate420: 1thin i goty from adam
ash on grass: me too
Fortunes Fate420: hehe
ash on grass: stupendous
Fortunes Fate420: fantastic?
ash on grass: nifty
Fortunes Fate420: spiffy
ash on grass: grand
Fortunes Fate420: peachy
ash on grass: uummm?
ash on grass: flammable
ash on grass: metrosexual
Fortunes Fate420: ewww ur a metro?
ash on grass: lol
ash on grass: OMG DID U SEE BRITTANY SPEARS TOXIC VIDEO?!
Fortunes Fate420: omg yeah
Fortunes Fate420: she was hot
ash on grass: omg she is spanking
Fortunes Fate420: i was in an orgy
ash on grass: awesome!
ash on grass: she is so cool
Fortunes Fate420: you have bad taste
ash on grass: so sexy and hot and i felt like wanted to fuck her
ash on grass: wtf?!
ash on grass: no i dont........SHES HOT
ash on grass: me and liz had sex with her in our fantasy
Fortunes Fate420: only on good days and even then not really
ash on grass: eeww, well same to u
ash on grass: lol
ash on grass: :-P
Fortunes Fate420: n o
Fortunes Fate420: am hot
Fortunes Fate420: sexy
Fortunes Fate420: beaste
Fortunes Fate420: who
Fortunes Fate420: tpe
Fortunes Fate420: like
Fortunes Fate420: caveman
Fortunes Fate420: yabba
ash on grass: hahahahahahaha
Fortunes Fate420: dabba
Fortunes Fate420: doo
Fortunes Fate420: haha
ash on grass: yeah well im gonna go now
ash on grass: so peace in the middle east
ash on grass: biotch
Fortunes Fate420: peace
Fortunes Fate420: out
Fortunes Fate420: hate
Fortunes Fate420: in
ash on grass: what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!
ash on grass: buttfucker
Fortunes Fate420: duntcha gotta fuckn leave? when u have more time ill tell u
ash on grass: lol
ash on grass: ok
ash on grass: no!
ash on grass: tell me now
Fortunes Fate420: lol
ash on grass: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Fortunes Fate420: no!
later jane
ash on grass: fuck u henry
Fortunes Fate420: we can live like jack and sally
ash on grass: bitch
ash on grass signed off at 10:18:40 AM.
what is wrong with me.. her... keri us
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| Saturday, January 24th, 2004
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5:56 pm
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you know whats depressing when you can write what words cant express and blurty cant update becos you forgot to put you username in so when you go back nothings there.... maybe some things are better off not said... or maybe no one wants to hear your cries :(
mike
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| Tuesday, January 13th, 2004
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4:01 pm - I'm A One Way Runaway
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Dead Roses
A storm sighs of dead roses in bloom
A bed of thorns signal black petals of gloom
An omen to each day you tortured my soul
What sign of hope mislead
Chained souls and staked hearts dead
These mirrors reflect truth
Till shattered pieces cut through
Look into my eyes now tell me what do you see?
Wasted youth distasteful truth
Amongst those bold faced lies you told me?
Eyes wide shut too dead to cry
Chaos and confusion causing such intrusion
You left me numb gasping for air
This stalement can only bring me to the conclusion
How ironic be this nite?
8 letters, 3 words, 1 thought that never got out just right
What futures bring us maybe memories no one knows
But now the past we must sever
Becos nothing good lasts forever
These black petals lie everywhere.
hmm something seems fishy but its nice to hear:
"I would like to inform you of your nomination as Poet of the Year for 2004, and to personally invite you to read your poetry at the single largest gathering of poets in history, where you will be formally inducted as an International Poet of Merit and Honored Member of our Society for 2004.
not to shabby if I may so myself. Well if its true then whoo hoo otherwise oh well. It'd be nice if I made some bucks and won that thing though snicker snicker lol uhm so yeah I came home from work awhile ago to find Ker home cos she was sick or soemthing. I was having a pretty good day but once I left work it was like everybody was dead. Ker's not talking much this apartment seems dead nothing seems to be alive. its very oddly depressing. its not getting me too much but I do wonder what is up. I'd like to waste away.. yeah.... hmm I wanan rite more but I'm at another blank. hmmm okay peaceouthatein always
-mike-
current mood:  giggly
current music: Foo Fighters -- Times Like These
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| Sunday, January 4th, 2004
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5:21 pm - Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned
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...It Has Been 4 Weeks Since My Last Confession.
Well according to my last update, it has. Well alot has happened since then. Unfortunately I couldn't really give out Xmas wishes or anything however:
I've been horribly bored the last few days mainly becos theres a lack of resources to do anything with and I'm starting to feel useless around here. However, I did have a somewhat of a Merry Xmas. Ker and I woke up early Christmas Morn to open our gifts. To our suprises we both got each other personalized ornaments from Make It Personal and it was very odd indeed hehe I also got her a Wintery Time Pooh Bear and she gave me like a crapload of more stuff including a hackey sack! WHOO HOOO!! I got mah baby into hackey sack. Shes actually getting better at it too I'm so proud of her. I even had Pete and their dad playing it at one point it was great. Not to mention we were also able to get alot of hacks lately. New Years wasnt too bad. I wish I was high or drunk though. We were able to get a twenty bag and smoked some but becos my dumbass forgot to put it in my pants we left it in the van and the next thing I knew was that Ker's mom walks in the house and tells us to "Ship up or Ship Out" ::cold shiver runs down back:: That woman sorta reminds me of the evil wicked principal from Matilda who forced that fat kid to eat that cake. heh We had Kellie for a day or two and that was tolerable till she wanted to play that Finding Nemo board game with us and wouldnt stop being so cranky. We did get to take alotta cool pics as I'm sure most of you have seen by now on Ker's site. Hmm.. there is one of her asleep real early in the morning that I'm just aching to get out online sooner or later ;) wink wink
Hmm what else.. uhm we've been all looking for apartments here lately. As well as jobs up here. Ker starts her first day as Department Manager at A.C. Moore tomorrow. Good luck to ya baby! *muah* Yup.. thru all of this I'm still suprised I'm still here. The only thing that really does matter to me is mah baby and I love her with all my heart and I thikn thats the main thing thats been getting the two of us by these past couple of days or else I know both of us woulda lost it along time ago. I havent gotten to see or talk to anyone from Peekywood in mad long and I kinda miss em but hey times are tough rite? Well, its funny there are alotta friendly ppl up here. I'm actually like 10 mins from Mel's home. I'd drop by and say hi, but I'm afraid shes gonna wanna make me bring her to Dan lol. Yup, that pretty much sums up my last month.. pretty pathetic aint it? Its starting to get to the point that I'm really feeling useless and just becoming a burden around here. It sucks. Tomorrow, Chris is gone Ted goes to work and so does Ker. I dont start till mid-week which means I'm gonna be stuck with the 'rents for the better part of the whole day which really sucks. Mah babay won't be here and I'm gonna be miserable. I'm happy for her and all but I feel like at this point I'm using them. And it sucks ass rite now becos no matter what choice I do make its not gonna do anyone any good. If I leave everyone's gonna think "oh well he left, no shit we knew it was gonna happen sooner or later."
But if the more I stay the more I see myself not doing much here not because I don't have the motivation to but because I'm ultimately afraid that Ker and I are gonan be stuck here at Ted's for the next three months and frankly I don't want that happening to the both of us. In my head the way I figured it was I could still go to work and see her everyday I could gather enough money within a month or so to get my own place. Wheter it be in Peekskill or up here I really just dont wanna be meddling in shit with my parents or hers. The reason why I left my house to begin with was to get away from my parents and ultimately whats happening now is I've gotten myself into something where there are shades of my own parents still around. the fighting the meddling the way they even treat ker, after she goes thru so much shit to help em out it pisses me the fuck off. the fact that she thinks if she left her folks now means shes turning her bakc on the family is just a downrite travesty. Shes better than this she doesnt have to put up with this shit but me staying here won't help her get outta it. She doesnt think the two of us can make it on our own but in the meantime I ask why she seriously thought Florida was a strong possibility as well. At this point I'm at a crossroads and if I did decide to leave the family she has to trust me that I know what I'm doing. well I dont, but she needs to have more faith. I cant blame her for not having it granted these past 3-4 weeks have been the scraps but we've made the most of it. If she really believed in us then she would honestly believe that we could both make it. the two of us together. but idk anymore. mayeb these are all just illucid dreams that I have but my vision the other nite was scarey enough for me to consider this a work at this point. I know it'll happen not today not tomorrow but somewhere down the line if I do stay with the family I'm gonna get kicked out. I didnt leave me house to go into someone elses only to have more arguments I left my house becos I was tired of the bullshit that surrounded me 24/7. now I'm surrounded with bullshit and ker doesnt even care about herself becos shes used to this at this point.
I dont blame Pete one bit for up and leaving like he did. At least hes getting more done over there. Sure it was bad timing considering he couldnt really help the family out in their time of need but at the same time it was a wake up call for Pete himself. If Ker hasnt gotten hers then I dont know what to say but it hurts me everytime I see her getting screwed by her parents. Ultimately, through all of this its as if I'm leaving and never coming back for her and thats what shes afraid of the most. that this will be goodbye and thats not the case. When I fell in love with her I fell in love with her and her alone not the family. The only reason I've stayed this far was becos I had faith in her family getting themselves together and for mah babay as well. It sucks when your gf is in pain and you cant help her or get her the shit that she needs to get better and shes gotta make do with what shes got or call up an exbf for shit. she doesnt deserve this and no matter what choice I make ultimately at the end of all this if I don't stand by my principles staying her watching her crumble rite before my eyes is gonna take a greater toll on me than anything I can ever imagine in my worst nitemares.
I love you with all my heart babe and when I promised you always and forever I meant it there is nothing more that I want then to see you happy but it hurts me when I cant do a thing to stop the pain that surrounds you constantly. At this point I dont know what to do and which is road to take in this divided path but ultimately no matter what I choose please have faith in me as I have in you becos I love you and I cherish every little thing you say and do becos you are always with me no matter where I am or how cranky I am hehe Just know that whatver happens you have to trust me that its gonna work out sooner than later and I'm always gonna be by your side through sickness and in health.. remember? ... not even death will do us part! love always
peace out hate in always guys
-mike-
p.s. wish me luck :)
Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me oh
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me
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current mood:  numb
current music: AFI -- Silver & Cold
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 7th, 2003
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5:29 pm - Another Page of History....
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The Consequences of Our Fates
These voices all they do is scream and shout
Inside of my head they just wanna get out
Sleepless nights thinking about
The pain you brought to me
See but you still left me emotionally couragous
Left me confused in delirious dazes
Of endless phases in the center of a day in a dream
Emotions and thoughts gettin lost in between
Still living in my head are thoughts full of screams
Your words and actions they just confuse
My sandpaper thoughts just wanna diffuse
The situation always ends up worse getting abused
Cos sunlight burns the skin of sleeping men
Every turn I make just gets me lost within
Every step I take makes me nervous when
The daily faces I put on then
Cause myself to hurt once again
Burdened by the weight you've put onto me
The pressure's there constantly and consequently
I can't get you outta my head endlessly
(Chorus) High above the mountains and their peaks
Rests the moon and its telling me
Now that I can choose where I want to be
Free of doubts and dark grey clouds
Theres no more wrong place and no more wrong time
Never again will I ever be confined
My dreams now have clearly been defined
Keeping my intuitions at bay
Just watching as the clock ticks time away
Cleansing my heart and soul for a release
Hoping that one day I'll eventually find peace
To give me the strength to
Straighten my thoughts like crinkled up paper creases
Until my confused jealous emotions they decease
Increase the love I have to give
Constantly finding a reason worthwhile to live
Willing to do anything to make you smile
Realized that what you have to offer may take awhile
Time is what I call this wild child
In this my prime is where I commit my crimes
Guilty only of thoughtless actions
My reactions were senseless distractions
From the constant attractions you made me nervous
Hear me out when I say this
Your face is the only thing that can stop this chaotic craziness
(Bridge) In my insensitive thoughts of stupidity
Never in time again will I be free
In my neverending constant memory
You've written pages of history
(Chorus) High above the mountains and their peaks
Rests the moon and its telling me
Now that I can choose where I want to be
Free of doubts and dark grey clouds
Theres no more wrong place and no more wrong time
Never again will I ever be confined
My dreams now have clearly been defined
Just can't hold on to
What I've got when I'm stretched so thin
Still searching deep inside for an answer
These voices and feelings
They continue to eat away at me like a cancer
I'm left in the dark so insenseless
Trapped in a room with cages and barbed wire fences
My only defense is I took the wrong exit
It doesn't matter who says it
Regretted for not taking the chances you gave away
Wasn't ready till the next day
By then my moment faded and
I'll always hate it
Undeniably I know its not the last
Try and forget the haphazardous past
Looking into the future with horoscopes
Somehow tomorrows gonna help me cope
Wash away these feelings like water and soap
Holding on to this mutual rope with faith and hope
Take control like a remote control
Scarred memories dark like pieces of coal
Sights forever set on my aims and goals
Through it all
(Chorus) High above the mountains and their peaks
Rests the moon and its telling me
Now that I can choose where I want to be
Free of doubts and dark grey clouds
Theres no more wrong place and no more wrong time
Never again will I ever be confined
My dreams now have clearly been defined
(Bridge) (2x) In my insensitive thoughts of stupidity
Never in time again will I be free
In my neverending constant memory
You've written pages of history
well this I had written along time ago during my senior year actually I didnt even go back and check this shit but I'm sure its got plenty of errors I just wanted to save it cos I'm afraid I'm gonna forget my password to the old mailbox which had this in it anyways dont pay much attn to it.. just lucid ramblings from way back when in the good ol days of senior hs. ;)
-mike-
current mood:  cynical
current music: Razorblades ~~ Story of the Year
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3:12 am - You Think I'm Not Worth A Dollar, But I Feel Like A Millionaire
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well okay im trying to update tonite. nope not wasted. completey sane.. or insane.. whichever way you wanna look at it i guess. hehe so the last two weeks have been interesting. I don't think I live home anymore, okay correction, I dont live home anymore. Yeah, somehow it came to pass that spending 6-12 hrs with keri was just bound to turn into everyday with her and somehow I'm here in Pete's room updating at three in the damn morning. It snowed like fuck today and all I see outside is a white blanket that just covered everything. I'm sure the crews are out workin on the road so most of it should be decent by tomorrow. Man, I wish I could really put into words all the thoughts that are in my head right now, but seemingly enough they're not coming out as words and when they do they come at warp speed that I can comprehend them in my head but not spit it out on this screen in time. Do I make sense? yeah.. I didn't think so either.
I heard the new Blink 182 album today. Doesn't sound a thing like em, as a matter of fact sounds like they're going techno using so many 'puter efx on it. but oh well. Story of the Year's CD sounded awesome. Reminds me of Finch and I'm really hoping Finch does another CD soon I'd love to hear it. I've hardly spoken to many of my friends or really seen them for that matter. If anything I've made a couple along the way the last month or so anyways, but I try and keep in touch with AIM. My other cooler SN won't seem to work for some reason and that pisses me off cos I had so many cool friends on that list. I have to go home at some point and fix my AOL. I wanna go down to the city again. The last time I went about a month ago, Ker n I went at close to midnite and stayed walking thru the city when it was quiet late at nite till the wee early hrs of the morning. We were supposed to try and get Blink tix but they jew'd us. Which reminds me: Happy Early Hanauhkakhahahaa to those of my jewey friends out there. yes that includes you too ash.
okay so I'm at a bit of an odds in my life rite now. well then again, when aren't I? "When your 'there' becomes 'here' you will simply obtain yet another 'there' to want to be 'here'." I know that pretty well but as strong as my beliefs are, people around me aren't in the same boat I am. Its funny, sometimes I think I can predict what happens. Actually I usually know how things are gonna turn out. Nothing really too often catches me by suprise which I guess can be a good thing or a bad thing. Funny cos I expected the situation I'm in now to really have been inevitable but letting others know would only discourse fate, or rather have obstacles come up to an inevitable fate nonetheless. the other day ashley told me that I had lost touch with her and the rest of the whole group a long time ago. that isnt the case. granted im not necessarily around as much as i used to be, it doesnt mean i dont care any less about any one of em. as a matter of fact the other day i was telling keri about how adam and i would've murdered anyone that harmed keri or alana. i do wish i could chill with them the way we used to, but then again i havent regretted anything ive done in the past month or so actually since the summer at best. well, i woulda worked more instead of being so lazy but thats always been me hehe.
hmm.. this entry is turning out to be quite a long one isnt it? hehe well okay lemme see... u know in the last couple of weeks that I've learnt? I shoulda stuck with school cos in all reality I did very little of anythign else. its kinda sad but to be honest with you, Im glad I did cos I know I'm not ready for it yet and when I am thats when I'll do it dedicatedly. Staying here has been quite fun and a peaceful rest from staying with my own parents but frankly I can't get too comfortable. Ker already has thrown the idea of going down to florida out the window. there were flaws in that plan. I really wish I could've told her earlier but like I said I can't say my visions it only causes more pain if I do things happen when they do. I truely wish she would believe me on that becos I'm still intent on going down there and like she's said so many times before I guess I havent showed her enough cos really she'll just believe it when it happens. which is just fine by me hehe but it worries me she's not on the same page i'm on. oh well. in time we'll all see i guess.
I need to change the layout on this thing. Hmm maybe something wintery? something eclectic with a thint of blue and white with some silver and some stars. a couple of clouds here and there hmm sounds nice. i may try that if i persist and dont get lazy. actually i need to go give mah baby a back massage but uhm she looks pretty out there asleep. shes been sicky all day and so have i, but hey i've been by her side all day then again i didnt have anywhere else to go hehe jk hunney. ::goes away as new chili peppers video catches attention:: thats a great song. an even better video. i remember just hearing that the whole time i was down in jersey with ker last month. it was great brings back so many memories. and what better band than the chili peppers of all. i really wanan go see them live i swear to god id bust a nut and cream if i ever did. wow i wish i could be a rock star.. that'd be cool. not for the sake of being a rock star and the glitz and glam of it all i could careless about that shit. i just wanna be creative and have an outlet to put out the visions i get in my head that constantly play out from anything and everything i see touch feel taste or hear. im an odd bird to say the least.
i feel like an insomniac. well to a certain extent at least. its close to 5am and yes i have been working on this update for the better part of the last two hours mind you. why so long? well i got drifted into watchin videos from rhcp and listenin to more music. i can get lost in it really quickly damn add. whats besides the point is ker and pete are both asleep and im still up like a dumbass updating something i highly doubt anyone really could give two shits about. which brings me to my other question why in the hell would anyone wanna read this journal?? and on top of that lately there have been people that are apparently trying to come between me and ker. the other day she got stalked by some ghetto wannabe thugs and got harassing phone calls at her job which just pisses me the fuck off. in all honesty if anyone really wants to stop anything they are more than free to try to but im really not just gonna let that happen i cant understand why some people jsut cant let us be and get over it. well you know what thats what im aiming for thast my motivation and if anything i feel stronger now than i have before that im gonna get us the fuck outta here sooner than later wheter ker, mah 'rents or anyone else for that matter thinks otherwise. its alot to give up no lie, but in the end it may be all worth it. or will it? well i havent come this far becos of planning and thinking ahead ive just gone with the flow and let things go their own way im not about to stop it. but i like this wave. its a good one that says things are only gonna get better.
i love the holidays
i hate the holidays.
i love to hate the holidays.
i hate to love the holidays.
maybe this xmas, i might actually enjoy it for once. i remember last year. that one sucked. lol it was a horrible day for reasons i really dont wanna get into. but whatever. i just wanna spread some xmas cheer everywhere the snow outside is really purdy and i can feel the spirit in the air running thru my veins and taking control all over. its funny. ok maybe not. okay this is long enough. im going to bed lol
peace out hate in always
-mike-
current mood:  touched
current music: Red Hot Chili Peppers ~~ Fortunes Faded
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| Friday, December 5th, 2003
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6:24 pm - I'll Come Back as Fire to Burn All the Liars Leave a Blanket of Ash to the Ground
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okay, well I've tried updating this thing at least twice in the last week and it hasn't worked. I dont know why but for some reason it just didn't. Uhm, so whats up? Well.. I'm at Ker's and apparently I've moved in and become roomies with Petey. Yeah, he's pretty kool. So not much has gotten done in the past couple of weeks or so partly becos I've been lazy on my ass and uhm... you know what I think I'll write in here when I'm a tad bit more wasted tonite. :)
-mike-
current mood: numb
current music: Say It Ain't So -- Weezer
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 12th, 2003
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11:21 am
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2:06 am - Note To Self: Fate Is Driven By Destiny
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okay whoo hoo ppls i finally get a chance to update this thingy. well ive been around here and there. looking for jobs. trying to get back on track wiff school. hangin out with ker n adam. its great. lifes great. actually things havent been this good in a long time. and you know what? I LOVE IT! oh man waking up everyday to the thought that someone out there cares about me and believes in me thats priceless. unfortunately shes not always there when i wake up but she keeps me company in my dreams for hrs on end nonetheless. rite now, im supposed to be doing alotta hw for all the classes ive missed (n its been quite a few lately) but im determined to finish waht i started and i told myself i was gonna finish at least a semesters worth of shit and do it rite. its become my mission. i love working under the pressure always gets me to work harder and get more. ::feels cheesy adrenaline rush in me::
so today ker and i went to the photoplace and got those beach trip pics developed. man, they really brought back so many memories. it feels like yesterday even if it was a week ago. i miss that place. its so beautiful. to watch the nite skies spill a stain of red and purple in the dark blue sky as the stars twinkle their ways into your heart sitting out on the sand hearing the waves crashing down in the ocean feeling the wind drift you away into pure ecstacy and having the feeling that no one can harm you ahhh its such a high. ::plays sugarcult:: idk how much of the trip i actually wrote on here. there were about five days or so. it was all just so unintentional seeming we had only gone down there to have dinner at Carraba's next thing you know we're sucked in so far we cant and dont ever wanna get out. it was something i really will never forget for a lifetime and to think i had come this far and thought the best years were gone for good. being growed up isnt as much fun as growing up. yup. im still a kid at heart and dammit i'd do it all over again if i could.
so lemme c, my job hunts goin pretty well i guess. all i know is i just wanna work so i get me some money and have enough to break outta this hell but rite now im kindin ridin it pretty well. i've hung out with adam a couple times lately he's pretty kool. ker and i wanna set him up with one of her friends and i dont know how likely that'll happen but i think they'd make a real cute couple. i wanna work at dominos. i think that'd be awesome. doin deliveries. gettin tips. gettin paid. pizza and cheesy stix. man the possibilites. if i can convince ker n adam to work there to we'd start the dominoes crew oh the joys! lol i can c i now haha yea rite hmm what else is new? i wanan ramble but im sorta holding back tonite. more of keeping updates on current events is more of the sature quo for tonite. i found out keri's niece is actually cousins with Cynthia's best friend. hmmm interestin... small friggin world we live in these days.
these parallel universes. this is where they are intertwined. the hurt the pain the suffering of the past was all in preparation of tomorrow. where do you exactly draw the lines of coinky dinks and fate being driven by destiny?
let the cliffhanger intrigue you,
-mike-
current mood:  relaxed
current music: Crashing Down -- Sugarcult
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| Sunday, November 9th, 2003
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7:03 pm - sey high ta da perdy lites
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| Hey guys its ker :) That lil "saying" Sure as hell fits me perfectly! I think of love as a dungeon ~ maybe cos thats all i know of? i guess the problem here is what happens when you come across a love that isnt a dungeon... there is no key... what happens then? DUN DUN DUN ! lol i wouldnt say that i want to get out of the dungeon... but maybe somehow someone could come on in with me so i wasnt so alone..maybe love's not my enemy...but i am...I sometimes think that i'm always looking for trouble because if i allow the nature take its course, then i could actually be happy for once.. and i'm not suppose to be happy.. i'm suppose to be miserable.. i was born to be miserable to make other happy.. like a little angel who's rebelling. It's funny because that statement fit me so well- it was like a little awakening- hello keri wake up, this is the way you normally think, if you stopped for a second and just let things be... then they will be.. what's so funny about that? i actually did it! i let things go and had no controll for once and you know what? I'm loving every second of it - even when i fool around and joke... i love everything about not having controll right now.. spinning out of controll.. out of controll.. its awsome.. whatchu think mikey? |
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Love is a touchy subject for me to even begin with but uhm lately everythings come to my face that at this point I cant really complain much. I did exactly what I've been "preaching" as far as letting things come my way and if they do it happens for a reason. I still believe I'm in a dungeon somewhere like Robin Hood trying to find his way through a castle and eventually finding a secret passageway to another lair and once I get there I know I'll truely be happy. Or will I? DUN DUN DUN haha no i know I'll be happy its intuitions perceptions everything falls into place so well there isnt even room for doubt. Maybe this Robin Hood is getting closer and closer to the point of where I'm at the door I've unlocked it and the beauty inside is blinding me. Maybe this was all a dream. These are my ramblings. Whatever there it maybe I know I'm loving every moment of it. Before this past month, I really hated the concept of love it was all a big scam run by the greeting card companies as far as I was concerned but more and more with each passing moment I see how crazy I'm spinning and I honestly couldnt have gotten here unless I really truely believed in something and if theres not ever anything else I was ever so sure about I know it'd all fall into place b/c rite now it feels as if (with the help of Mario, Luigi & Yoshi ) I may have found the princess I was looking for all along. yeah.. ker? lol |
current mood: melancholy
current music: Incubus- Tomorrow
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
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11:15 am - Maybe We Could Taste the Rain...
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well I dont know if I can truely completely comprehend whats happened since the last time I wrote in here. So many twists and turns just about every single one that I've liked nonetheless. So,.. I've been a missing person for the last couple of days and you know what? It felt really good. It wasnt some cry for attn or some stupid hs shit I mean it was classic storybook shit that only dreams were made of. Sometime mid last week Ker and I decided to go have dinner at Carrabas.. down in Jersey.. Pt Pleasant to be more precise. Now throwing two kids who hate home and are away from it and pretty much have the attention span of goldfish, its a given that we were just not gonna be leaving anytime soon. I really cant describe the feeling, but its the one you get when nothing and no one else matters in the world. I've been on such a high that nothing and rite now as I sit in class I can truely say nothing can bring me down as far down as I used to be. She means the world to me and in all reality its tough to keep us apart to begin with. If all this was just a dream and I did in fact wake up tomorrow or if I die tonite... I know that at least at some point in my life I got to experience ecstacy and pure heavenly bliss while I was here and that itself is priceless so much beyond comprehension.
well long story short I've spent the better part of the last 5/6 days down in Jersey. Ker and I enjoyed the beaches ::drools:: it was 80 down there the other day man I had the hardest time leaving too! there were palm trees and sand and atlantic amongst slurpees, tongue rings, shrunken ho-nutz and some trippy moments that only left me breathless. ::sighs:: man, well yesterday reality hit and we had to come back here I hadn't gone home yet only b/c I fear if I do go home then that means that reality has hit and I kidna dont want the vacation to stop. I dropped Ker off yesterday and made a mission to find Adam. He filled me on whats been goin on and stupid shit hes done to really not help my case... ::makes mental note to not trust him as much:: but hes really happy for me and he knew how dreamy and storybook/fairytalelike this all must've seemed to be for me and he woulda done the same exact thing in my situation. yeah it was all worth it alrite.. not one regret if anything the only one would be like ker said.. coming back up here.
I have a pretty good grasp on situations rite now, ever since I took mah vacation it got me away from it all to look at it from the outside to realize I can escape the pains and troubles that have plagued me for so long that there is life outside of here that I can be happy. For once in my life, I dont miss the comfort in being sad I'm on such a high that sadness... I'm in the "h" section of the dictionary and I'm not in a rush to get to the "S" section... well hehe nevermind. Well to say the least bit this is my second chance and in all honesty it feels like nothign is impossible anymore so yeah I'm gonna raise some hell if I havent already and most importantly its strange I feel like I'm in control of my life even though I know the difference in what you can control and can't. its strange. i'm strange. and weird. yeah. I miss her already.
peace out hate in always
-mike-
current mood: thirsty
current music: Until The Day I Die -- Story of the Year
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| Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
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11:21 am - Get Ready for Action!
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Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I’ll leave when I wanna
oh man I cant even begin to explain why I'm so happy. but okay, I hafta get past that. lol this new blink song really is good and so not their type of song but I love it along with that LB song Behind Blue Eyes. man, that video is so beautiful. ahhh these coincedences are so creepy sometimes hehe well lemme see lately I've been working and trying to go to school. whatever time I have left I've tried spending it with Ker- I miss her so much rite now. I cant wait till I can go pick her up and chill at adams. we went over there the other nite and hung out with Adam, Rios, Berger & Paul? lol we had good times she go to know some of my friends. well a couple. She's met Chris already and IDK she'll meet the rest as things come our way. yeah, so sun nite we left adams and hung out in the car till 7am in front of her house. man! lol these late nite voyages are becoming reoccuring but oddly enough my parents werent even that pissed whoo hoo! lol man, I've been slacking off so much but its partly becos I just cant focus for awhile like too much is always on my mind and my body is in a different state of mind if that makes sense. hehe
so work is interesting. esther is gone so I guess I wont be seeing her anytime soon. Justin might not be getting any bootay from her afterall. this girl I work with Sumara, told Ker she was bi.. and so is ker and uhm they wanan get a three way on? oh yeah ::licks fingers:: mmm mm good hehe I saw Michelle Merando she's visiting from TX with her son. oh man her son lol you think this girl would learn but no shes already foolign around with ppl while her husbands away in the army in fucking Iraq. ahhh the drama. last fri n sat nite I hung out with Chris, Rob, Marie, Rach and them it was a hs reunion of sorts. pretty cool nite to say the least. I've learnt so much about Chris and maybe Ker Bear's rite, I might be a born psychologist hehe well he is quite an interesting character as well. I learnt alot about him and his paranoia really worries me that he's going to get hurt or even worse. I wish I could do something and I'm constantly trying to figure out what. I feel so bad for him, no one understands him or knows what hes going thru cept a couple of ppl so hes constantly wrongly judged. I'm hearing stories of Rob & Marie hookin up but god knows with them two, besides wasnt she with that guy who works at Popeyes? oh man I hope she can save herself from this, maybe its just the air and the vibes bringin us all together.
tony has been acting rather odd with me lately rach sez he just idk depressed i guess beats me i miss the old tony the wisecrackin krackalackin kracka i used to know and love. we all do. I had Shrunkin Ho Nuts (dunkin donuts) on sat and omg that coffee is fucking laced with something and its not just plain beans dude. omg I was so fucking wired after like one cup. we got bored so we went to go check out this accident after we saw like mad cops and troopers and shit fly rite past us. it really made us think and reflect about whats in our lives and how things can change just like that ::snaps fingers:: hehe dammit I cant snap jk uhm yeah last week i went to go visit liz and ash. mainly for my stuff, but i was rather suprised that ash did talk to me and invite me and let my stay as long as I did. we got caughtup on stuff and it was really nice talking to her. uhm lol liz's visit wasnt as long but i guess whatever works. and i already lost my glasses at work haha like the day after i got em back so now i think im gonna steal ker's she can wear contacts. :D
i think thats a good an update as I'm gonan get for today. uhm yeah I wanan go pick ker up that ghetto dork betta be up so we can go chill. yeah i'll write like when i get home tonite hpoefully lol
current mood: chipper
current music: Feeling This -- Blink 182
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1:29 am - x Wake Me Up Cos I'm Still Dreaming x
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ok so here i am. its been awhile since i've written and for strong reason. no, i didnt spontaneously leave again its the results that have come about from doing just that. i've been having the best of days and the worst days of late really. i really have no idea where to begin to try and put together everything cohesively for anyone to understand would be a tremendous task i dont have time for cos im in class rite now but i have nothign to show for anyone at the same time i will say this for myself.
so yeah... theres been some drama in the air at my job and presumptions made on behavioristics of certain relationships ive had that hadn't the least slightly bit been developed. ahh im sugarcoating now. thats what keri would say. yeah lemme bring keri into this becos idk i guess shes the reason why im so happy most of the time nowadays. alot of ppl in my life come and go and are so two dimensional that they only represent a characteristic of what ive seen before. not many ppl catch my attention partly becos my attn is usually misplaced. lol anyway as of late me and ker have become really good friends. it was inevitable though from the very first vibes that she was gonna impact some part of my life more so than most others. turns out she did. amongst all that i've come across, i am standing in this deserted field left with worries, doubts, fears, insecurities and injustices. up ahead i see something, someone thats reaching out to me asking to grab on and hold on tight but she remains as reclusive as i. to rather put into simplified terms, while the unknown draws me to fear it i know it is vested pursuit becos i cant fight this feeling and state of mind i am in rite now.
earlier this year, these past couple of years, i havent been lucky with girls to say the least. oddly enough, i didnt even see what they may have in me to begin with hence i was just as reclusive back then not as much as i am today. so okay, the past week or two i've hung out with ker, and i couldnt help but notice the chemistry between us (sexual tensions and all lol) but i didnt want to point it out becos i didnt expect this my goals for the rest of the year were to work hard and go to school. live and live harder. pretty much boils down to that. she came into my life and i dont think she'll be leaving anytime soon. as suprisingly as that may seem, i dont want this to end. if there was ever a moment in time where i truely believed in love, destiny, romance and the unknown no better time than rite now. we are so similar yet so different so close yet so far away and words cant express what i feel the many non-mundane thoughts that run through my head they cannot be grasped and grouped for they are so fleeting. to see what this shall bring to see if destiny does indeed work will be to give this a chance as i've asked of others so only can i do the same to her. all i know, is that having someone at the end of the nite who cares about you, knows the truths about you and misses you-- this is a feeling i dont wanna trade in for anything else rite now this was the feeling i was missing all along. this cannot be real this is too good to be true she remains too perfect everyone has their faults when will i wake up and realize this was all only just a dream?
-mike-
ps ~mike & keri 143~
10-9-03
current mood: touched
current music: Behind Blue Eyes -- Limp Bizkit
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 5th, 2003
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5:30 pm - Elevator Shot Anyone? Elevator Ride?
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::stares at comp screen:: maaannnnnn.... ::exhales hard:: boy did i have one fucking fucked up nite last nite haha! lol oh my god shit that was an insane nite. so keri invited me to her bro's b'day party. whoooaaaa lol it was pretty interesting to say the least of things yeah lol it turns out her family lives by dan's place which was kinda odd but anyway there were like 7 of us or more whatever and like yeah we did some insane shit. at the end of the nite for me; 3 tequilla shots, 2 whiskey shots, 2 beers, 4 bong hits later i realized wow this is the most i've ever been this wasted. man but it wasnt wasted wasted it was trippy. well i think the hardcore stuff i did alongside with everything else had somethign to do with it as well. i cant say what i did do bcos alot of ppl would be like omg you did (ie chris, ann) but yeah i said i wouldnt do it after the first time i did it with keri at work, but hey you only live once rite? ::sniff sniff:: okay uhm moving on yeah i didnt leave till 5am from their place. i met a buncha kool ppl there and it was awesome as hell makes me sorta wish i went to hen hud so i coulda known em for awhile now but oh well. i got home around 8am this morning and i really dont remember much of what happend in btween those 3 hrs lol i just remember ending up at mickey d's getting coffee. yeah i came home to alot of screaming and yelling and went to bed. man were my parents pissed lol they almost kicked me outta the house. oh well its not like stuff like this happens everyday to me so i think they'll get over it.
oh yeah fuck last nite there was a huge irony in the nite rite before i left to go to keris'. well my parents found some ganga i had left in my bag and my pipe and asked me about it:
parents: what are smoking now, crack?
me: no not yet.
parents: what is this stuff?
me: uhm herbs and spices just like kfc makes
parents: dont get smart with me, is this mary-j-wana?
me: possibly
parents: well should i show our neighbor to find out? (hes a cop)
me: are you stupid?
parents: so why do you have it?
me: cos christmas trees look pretty
parents: i dont wanna see this stuff lying around anymore
(parents split into mom and dad now)
mom: when we were young we'd never do stuff liek this!
dad: son, dont do this so much-- every once-in-a-while is okay
mom: what?! are u fucking kidding me?!
dad: like you didnt do it ::chuckles::
lmao yeah so apparently my parents did hash (who knew? lol) and its okay as long as its not habitual. yeah lol they then let me go out with the warning: "you better not go do drugs" lol how ironic. well tis was my nite. i really would write more but im getting this dire need to play some really heavy guitar solos now so im leaving.
later gators,
-mike-
current mood: mischievous
current music: In Bloom - Nirvana
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
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6:53 pm - If You Hang Out With Hookers, They'll Only Be After Ya Cheddar
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this made my nite the other nite...
BlueAngelAK [1:11 AM]: haha keri thinks ur hot
ZenYouth420 [1:11 AM]: huh? what? uhm.. hi first... now what?Lol
BlueAngelAK [1:12 AM]: oh hi lol
BlueAngelAK [1:12 AM]: yeah she came in today
BlueAngelAK [1:12 AM]: saying how you're going to the party
BlueAngelAK [1:12 AM]: and how cute and h ot she thinks you are
lol funny stuff. classic. yeah well im going to keris party this sat nite in town im sure its bound to be pretty interesting to say the least. i tried to get anne to come, she unfortunately claims she was uninvited. im sure somehow we'll sneak her in. hehe i had a really funny convo with courts last nite on what her last name meant in an indian language, and apparently it means "jobless, poor, loser" lol just like her hehe :-P uhm what else is up? im thinking of getting a tattoo soon i wanna get a couple though my friend martin said he'll do em he's such a great tattoo artist. im thinking of something ying-yangish with fire under it or some heiroglyphic shit idk. lol bush is like a genie who only grants crappy wishes lol sorry watching the daily show. so this week work's been the least bit hectic. our manager up there is doing somewhat of a good job, but im slowly losing faith in her. god i hope she fizes it cos i cant help but watch as everything comes crashing down. its sad and i know i can fix it but whats the point in that im not doing double duty. lol
i am el capitano lol.. i wanna see that tomorrow. i hung out with chris for awhile last nite. quite the convo we had. him and candy are through for good. he's got some issues he needs to resolve. i can relate to the state of mind hes in. its hard to rest when all you can think is the pain you feel. he needs to cut back smoking too. god hes gonna die if he kepes doing what he does. yay i just helped courts feel better. i feel so special. okay well on that note i am leaving now. someone please get rid of those furniture outlet commericals with that annoying ass cowboy who says please please please ahhhhh ::smashes tv:: lol later haters
-mike-
current mood: rejuvenated
current music: Tough Crowd w/Colin Quinn
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 1st, 2003
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10:07 pm - the controversy oh my!
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oh dear god! the horror! the shock! the disbelief! oooh the controversy?!! what controversy? are you kidding me? this is ridiculous. lemme state these fellow premises:
a) journals shouldnt be read by ppl who dont like them
b) conversations are just that conversations! do you know anyone that doesnt talk about anyone else? i didnt think so.
c) there were no deragatory comments whatsoever in this following convo.
d) i think dan and erin must have some sense of self-esteem as to not be so totally offended would only bring their insecurities to the forefront.
e) i wish i had my own sibling secretary/minions to send out my messages
anyways, seriously folks, especially to dan and erin. look im so very happy for you. its a shame that we dont talk unfortunately due to prior circumstances, but i wish you all the luck in the world. the comments below were merely satircal and not to be taken so literally. im really hoping your not taking them too literally. lol and i mean that in all fairness i think erin looks nice with her hair all done up and dan you've just looked a little bloated. these are random (key note: RANDOM) annotations. as amatter of fact i was just last week reminiscing how we'd sing limp bizkit songs in hs cmon we're older than this. and please why do you have a secretary? seriously now thats just dumb lol oh well okay now if you are still at the end of this disclaimer still having some mental extraordinary fit about nothing, then my friends you guys are complete and total mindless, weary, insecure douchebags who are dragging this thing to a 10th grade level and are beyond civil comprehension which in a whole is contributing to the stupid adult children running around as if hs still not over and are ploying, creating, and instigating unecessary, corrupt dramantics. if not, kool beans lets do lunch one day and catch up. peace out hate in always -mike-
TiKoShi1 [4:20 PM]: can i have ur penis?
ZenYouth420 [4:21 PM]: tika!
ZenYouth420 [4:21 PM]: lol
TiKoShi1 [4:21 PM]: lol whats uuuuuuuuuuuuuup
ZenYouth420 [4:21 PM]: omg i havent heard from you in ages
ZenYouth420 [4:21 PM]: i always ask gina im like whats tika up to shes like oh she a homebody
ZenYouth420 [4:21 PM]: lol nm its all good whatcha up to?
TiKoShi1 [4:21 PM]: i know:-( skool has been holding me down and life in general! what r u up 2
ZenYouth420 [4:22 PM]: ahh work work school and whatever left living it up lol
TiKoShi1 [4:22 PM]: lol sounds like a plan
ZenYouth420 [4:22 PM]: im so much happier now than i was all year so its all good
ZenYouth420 [4:22 PM]: hell yeah nigga nigga
TiKoShi1 [4:22 PM]: thats awesome!
ZenYouth420 [4:22 PM]: me and adm were talking bout you today we were like damn we aint seen her in awhile
TiKoShi1 [4:22 PM]: yup yup nigga nigga
TiKoShi1 [4:23 PM]: i miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss my cheeseburger adam! ll thats weird
TiKoShi1 [4:23 PM]: so what u guys doin?
ZenYouth420 [4:23 PM]: lol we just were chillin after class at his house ive hung out with marie rob justin old school gang the last couple of nites
TiKoShi1 [4:23 PM]: awwwwwww
ZenYouth420 [4:24 PM]: word
ZenYouth420 [4:24 PM]: lol
TiKoShi1 [4:24 PM]: nah yo we gotta chill
ZenYouth420 [4:24 PM]: where have you been?
TiKoShi1 [4:24 PM]: skool and home and work..occasionally senior year ass hole
ZenYouth420 [4:24 PM]: haha pullin disappearin acts all i hear from you is what i see in ya journal
ZenYouth420 [4:24 PM]: lol
TiKoShi1 [4:24 PM]: :-( sowwie
ZenYouth420 [4:24 PM]: how is senior year? i know ginas had her fair shara of drama you outta that shit?
TiKoShi1 [4:24 PM]: yea i got so much to fill u in on but i gotta see u lol typing will gimme arthritis
TiKoShi1 [4:25 PM]: hell yea pleeeeeeeeeease i stay low lol im nto in shit
ZenYouth420 [4:25 PM]: lol only way to go
TiKoShi1 [4:25 PM]: fo' sho' my nigga
ZenYouth420 [4:25 PM]: drop by teh store when you get a chance and shout us a holla for a dallla nigga
TiKoShi1 [4:25 PM]: when u work next
ZenYouth420 [4:25 PM]: lol in about an hr
TiKoShi1 [4:26 PM]: ill see what i can do
ZenYouth420 [4:26 PM]: come by like thurs or fri nite thats when gina there too
TiKoShi1 [4:26 PM]: u still got ur celly
TiKoShi1 [4:26 PM]: oh ok!
ZenYouth420 [4:26 PM]: nah it aint come in yet
TiKoShi1 [4:26 PM]: DAMN
ZenYouth420 [4:26 PM]: damn bastards
TiKoShi1 [4:26 PM]: lol
ZenYouth420 [4:26 PM]: lol fuck yeah
TiKoShi1 [4:26 PM]: have u spoke to dan or "them"
ZenYouth420 [4:26 PM]: lol funny shit i saw him today with erin
TiKoShi1 [4:26 PM]: lol he speak>?
ZenYouth420 [4:26 PM]: yo erin dyed her hair she a brunette she look pretty good
ZenYouth420 [4:27 PM]: briefly exchanged hellos it was creepy we both ended up at BN
TiKoShi1 [4:27 PM]: Her..God? same sentence?
TiKoShi1 [4:27 PM]: did she gain weight
ZenYouth420 [4:27 PM]: lol im guessing so she seemed okay
TiKoShi1 [4:27 PM]: lol
TiKoShi1 [4:27 PM]: did he get fat
TiKoShi1 [4:27 PM]: lasttiem i saw him at the show he looked a bit bloated
ZenYouth420 [4:27 PM]: didnt really stare much lol yeah he looks pudgier now
TiKoShi1 [4:27 PM]: lol
ZenYouth420 [4:28 PM]: lol hell yeah he wears button down shirts and he looks like them funny mexican midgets
TiKoShi1 [4:28 PM]: LMAO no more punk gear?
ZenYouth420 [4:28 PM]: buts its all good i dont got nothing against no one no mroe
ZenYouth420 [4:28 PM]: lol i dint see nothing but then again i aint look too long
TiKoShi1 [4:28 PM]: oic lol hmm i havent seen them in a minute..i kinda wanna tho
ZenYouth420 [4:29 PM]: lol yeah honestly i wanna find otu what they been up to for the hell of it
TiKoShi1 [4:29 PM]: i know!!
ZenYouth420 [4:29 PM]: ive seen just about damn near everyone from hs i figure why not
TiKoShi1 [4:29 PM]: i wonder if they married
TiKoShi1 [4:29 PM]: lol
ZenYouth420 [4:29 PM]: lol
TiKoShi1 [4:29 PM]: and hwne hey havin a baby
ZenYouth420 [4:29 PM]: thats gonna be my first question
ZenYouth420 [4:29 PM]: whens the cradle gonna rock?
TiKoShi1 [4:29 PM]: lmoa
TiKoShi1 [4:29 PM]: lmao*
ZenYouth420 [4:30 PM]: lol yeah and i seen marie robby justin paco all of dem
ZenYouth420 [4:30 PM]: some changed some still the same its been like hs reunion time this past two weeks
TiKoShi1 [4:30 PM]: thats fun
TiKoShi1 [4:30 PM]: awesome i just wanna see u and adam
ZenYouth420 [4:31 PM]: even liz is starting to come around so its all biscuits and gravy
ZenYouth420 [4:31 PM]: word
ZenYouth420 [4:31 PM]: we aint have our dose of chocolate in a while
TiKoShi1 [4:31 PM]: holla..Chocolate!!
ZenYouth420 [4:31 PM]: lol
TiKoShi1 [4:31 PM]: can i put this in my journal with a few modifications?
ZenYouth420 [4:32 PM]: put whatever you want
TiKoShi1 [4:32 PM]: cuz i missss u soo much itll be a memory til i see u..this week lol
ZenYouth420 [4:32 PM]: lol
ZenYouth420 [4:32 PM]: lol word same here homey g
ZenYouth420 [4:32 PM]: man life is good
ZenYouth420 [4:32 PM]: no complaints for awhile
TiKoShi1 [4:32 PM]: so yea i love you but i gots teh HW..where can i call u?
ZenYouth420 [4:32 PM]: did gina ever give u the number for BN?
ZenYouth420 [4:32 PM]: lol cos thats usually where i am
TiKoShi1 [4:33 PM]: NOOOOOOOOOO
ZenYouth420 [4:33 PM]: lol
ZenYouth420 [4:33 PM]: 5286275
TiKoShi1 [4:33 PM]: ok baby!
ZenYouth420 [4:33 PM]: oh yeah
TiKoShi1 [4:33 PM]: ima catch ur hott ass lata
ZenYouth420 [4:33 PM]: ::does monkey dance::
ZenYouth420 [4:34 PM]: peace out babay
TiKoShi1 [4:34 PM]: Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much to tell u ill get up wit u friday then we can chill at ur work..or afta
ZenYouth420 [4:34 PM]: sweet adam might even drop by too cos he wanted to go check out a movie
ZenYouth420 [4:34 PM]: so it'll be our reunion
TiKoShi1 [4:34 PM]: Holy Shit AWESOME!!
TiKoShi1 [4:35 PM]: yes yes so ima call u lata...will i see ur penis friday in the BN bathroom?
ZenYouth420 [4:35 PM]: lol everyone wants to
ZenYouth420 [4:35 PM]: ill think about it
TiKoShi1 [4:35 PM]: really?? lol
TiKoShi1 [4:35 PM]: i never seen a hindu peepee
ZenYouth420 [4:35 PM]: lol yeah its scary
ZenYouth420 [4:35 PM]: no the peepee
ZenYouth420 [4:35 PM]: lol the ppl asking thats scary
TiKoShi1 [4:36 PM]: oh well i ALWAYS asked me first bitch!
ZenYouth420 [4:36 PM]: im the only guy left up at the cafe everone else is abuncha horny ass girls
TiKoShi1 [4:36 PM]: lmao take advantage
ZenYouth420 [4:36 PM]: lol i dont forget you're old school
TiKoShi1 [4:36 PM]: hell yea!
ZenYouth420 [4:36 PM]: lol
TiKoShi1 [4:36 PM]: Tika Tika Kaboom!!
TiKoShi1 [4:36 PM]: lol
ZenYouth420 [4:36 PM]: lol
TiKoShi1 [4:36 PM]: I think im hotter now tho' lol
ZenYouth420 [4:36 PM]: lol
ZenYouth420 [4:36 PM]: im sure you is
TiKoShi1 [4:37 PM]: So you can get the real lapdance on friday lol
ZenYouth420 [4:37 PM]: pocket sized tika
TiKoShi1 [4:37 PM]: lmao.."stick her in ur pocket"
ZenYouth420 [4:37 PM]: lol
ZenYouth420 [4:37 PM]: ahh i cant wait already
TiKoShi1 [4:37 PM]: so yea lemme go bitch..luv ya..yea well def. chill tell Adam
TiKoShi1 [4:37 PM]: I wanan see his Moroccan Weiner too!
ZenYouth420 [4:37 PM]: hell yeah you got it peace out nigga
ZenYouth420 [4:38 PM]: lol im sure hes achin to let it out
TiKoShi1 [4:38 PM]: bye nigga/hindu bitch
TiKoShi1 [4:38 PM]: im SUUUUUUUURE
TiKoShi1 [4:38 PM]: bye baby
ZenYouth420 [4:38 PM]: lata suburban turbanized twin
TiKoShi1 [4:38 PM]: lol ..thoughts how i got u in my phone!!! lol but i gtg bitch..BYE!!!!:-P
ZenYouth420 [4:38 PM]: lol peace
current mood: crazy
current music: Mudshovel -- Staind
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| Tuesday, September 30th, 2003
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2:45 pm - A Hangover Means I Was Drunk Yesterday! lol
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Hmm okay well I sorta have the sniffles or snizzles or sneezys whatever you wanna call it. My throat hurt so much this morning and my neck and back have been sore as a bitch since last nite. Last nite I had the worst close that I ever had to be apart of all b/c I was sick and Esther didn't do shit. I hate that girl. She keeps telling Keri how we're good buds its kinda funny. shes alrite but god she doesnt do shit. anyways, speaking of keri-- shes in enough shit of her own all the time. She gets abused I wish I could do something about it but I really can't but now I know the reasoning behind her drug habits. Last nite we ran outta milk, so I got Jamie to come with me to go get milk and we had so much fun! lol we were like complete dorks running around like retards going "hmm, is the milk here?" while pointing to like the deli. we "couldnt find" the diary section for a half an hr as we went up and down the aisles looking for it. you know, they really should put in stop signs and traffic lites inside the store, someone could get run over lol yeah well most of my yesterday was pretty good I hung out with Adam after class for a bit. I learned that a girl in my class had a lesbian experience when she was 13 and puked lol I didnt go to class this morning. I stayed home sick and just slept. actually, i woke up like an hr ago. I feel so much better though than last nite. when I got home I almost passed out if it werent for keri and diana keeping me up online. check this out:
octoberfaerieX [2:28 AM]: yes..when do you have to get up?
ZenYouth420 [2:29 AM]: uhm 8am actually earlier i didnt finsih typing my paper up so i have that to look forward too, plus i had a headache and im sick lol
ZenYouth420 [2:29 AM]: cos of you mind you lol
octoberfaerieX [2:29 AM]: YAY!!! MWAH HA HA HA
octoberfaerieX [2:29 AM]: now you must infect the wooorrlllddd
ZenYouth420 [2:29 AM]: half the ppl at cafe hae colds
octoberfaerieX [2:30 AM]: SCORE!!!
octoberfaerieX [2:30 AM]: dude I am sooo proud! lol
octoberfaerieX [2:30 AM]: *beams with happiness as she scurries off to go get wet and NAKIE*
octoberfaerieX [2:32 AM]: "good night, good night, a thousand times goodnight" - Juliette, from Romeo and Juliette
aww how cute well yeah tis was my nite. i now have work to look forward to, its probably not in my best interest to go to work but im stubborn and i know ill be bored later.. plus keri's working so I know it'll be fun. dude, dazed and confused is on comedy central whoo hooo! lol that movie was awesome. i wish hs was like that but hey life after hasnt been all that bad either. whoa, i just realized i have hw to do dammit i have a whole day of classes tomorrow. hmm i think ill make a suprise visit inbtween classes. haha i ran into daniel and erin yesterday before work it was sorta creepy lol but we were able to exchange hellos so it was all good. erin's dyed her hair brown she looks so much mroe better like this. dan looks pudgier lol i can geniunly say that im happy for those two and im glad (at least hoping) whatvers happened is water under the bridge now. sunday nite i was with rob chris and melissa for awhile. we learned chris is very homophobic lol and that he got some bootay action from one ms candy. ewww lol just when i thought he had realized how close to et she looked like boom hes back to giving it to her. or as he calls it "the front seats go really far back" lol i also saw paco. i hate paco. hes so fake. thats the most ill talk about him ::pukes in disgust:: i fucking hate that damn furniture warehouse commercial with the two guys singing country shit ahhhh ::shoots tv:: ahh rachey's online kool well im gonna go get ready for work or something. ok i lied, im just gonna go lie down. yeah. i'll write more meaningful random thoughts in here tonit when i get home.
peace out hate in haters,
-mike-
current mood:  nerdy
current music: Just Because -- Janes Addiction
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| Sunday, September 28th, 2003
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3:17 am - the Sweetest Song
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build a bridge to your mind
takes me there everytime
lay it all on the line
if theres a way
build a bridge, make a path
overlook the aftermath
make my tears be your bath
if theres a way
only if you'll take a ride
go with me to the other side
even though its gonna crumble down (gonna crumble down)
ill keep building till you come around (till you come around)
even though its gonna fall apart, break my heart (break my heart)
ill keep building till i die
build a bridge of memories
stretch it out overseas
to the end of the world
if theres a a way
build a bridge made of pain
send my longing down the drain
have no reasons to complain
if theres a way
only if youll take a ride
go with me to the otherside
even though its gonna crumble down (gonna crumble down)
ill keep building till you come around (till you come around)
even though its gonna fall apart, break my heart (break my heart)
ill keep building till i die
wait... wait for me... wait... please wait for me...
even though its gonna crumble down (gonna crumble down)
ill keep building till you come around (till you come around)
even though its gonna fall apart, break my heart (break my heart)
ill keep building till i die
current mood:  thoughtful
current music: Build a Bridge -- limpbizkit
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2:56 am - Rumors are Tumors
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hey everyone, im sorry i know ive been gone for so long. so lemme see what is up lately... well as you can tell from the backgrounds and the incessant lyrics i put up; i got limpbizkits new cd b/c i am a dedicated old school fan whos been with them since they came out with counterfeit and always will. i was shocked to say the least this is not the same band that everyone (incl myself) didnt like that came out with chocolate starz, instead this is sorta mixing everything they've done and putting a twist on it. the lyrics are so deep, the music much more mellower everything clicks so well. if anything im betting this cd will be in the top 10 sellign cds this year its that awesome and anyone that hates this band can stay a hater but nothing beats the limp b-i-z-k-i-t. i think its all that pot snoop brought for fred that mellowed em out, but its so beautiful and so fucking packed there are like 16 tracks on here i love it everyone go out and get it! DO IT NOW! YOU WILL NOT BE DISSAPPOINTED! i couldnt be any happier...
ahh but i am! lol along with the new results may vary cd, i also got the new 311 cd and i fucking love it. its like a mix btween floyd, beatles and old school 311 its great the musics mellow but picks up sometimes and the lyrics are so thought provoking that you really start to gain hope that music will get better in general thanks to ppl like them. okay what else? uhm yeah thanks for the backgroudn comments (the good one) im trying to find something even better with limp in it... for those that dont know im a huge limp fan its how i got thru hs with my friend dan and i can only hope he hasnt forgotten the old days himself. ::remembers walking from park to desilvas singing "re-arranged" n "nookie":: god i think thats how i learned how to rap haha nayways moving on...
so this past week's been interesting to sya the least. ive become really close friends with keri and martin outside of work and i got drunk at adams the other nite. man was i wasted lol we went shot for shot with some mean ass hard vodka and it was insane. last nite i hung out with the old crew from hs.. yup it was me, marie, rob, justin, rachele, tony, steve & chris. its been a crazy hectic week. i have some hw to do for later today i think ill manage it. its been crazy i feel so popular nowadays. so many ppl know my face so many ppl know my history and its all coming together now. all these years of pain are being washed away by the sight of a better tomorrow happening today. words cannot express the happiness i feel when i see diana and her friedns just waiting to hang out with me or the amount of fun and happiness i can look forward to seeing when i have to work or the fact that so many ppl want to call me want to know me want to hang out with me and i know now that it never was me that was so messed up it was just those haters that hate and that hatorade can spread all it wants im still standing and to me none of that exists anymore im a better man cos of all that and i can only thank those that led me to what happened this summer b/c without them my tomorrow woulda been a shitty today.
well i have much to write about, however i must bid you farewell as well as diana whos patiently waited online with me for the last 2 hrs but im really tired its been a long day and even longer nite so im glad to just lite it up and rest easy knowing the rest of todays gonna be smoother than a babys butt.
peace out hate in always babay
-mike-
current mood:  sleepy
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, September 27th, 2003
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2:05 pm - My New Favorite Song
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learn how to rap as a little boy
took a lot of crap as a little boy
always had to fight back as a little boy
always under attack as a little boy
never got good grades as a little boy
i was locked in a cage as a little boy
still i never was afraid as a little boy
i was feeling my rage as a little boy
its time to blow their minds...
learn how to lose as an older man
sang a lot of blues as an older man
but i saw it all through as an older man
put together my crew as an older man
felt a lot of pain as an older man
i established my name as an older man
people piss in my game as an older man
aint nothing wanna change as an older man
its time to blow their minds now baby
its time to blow their minds now baby
im on my grind now baby
yall know its my time now baby
come on
who that is? what it say?
what it look like
what it look like baby?
got treated like a clown as a little boy
kept my feet on the ground as a little boy
when youre living in a dream as a little boy
aint nothing like seems as a little boy
i was hatin on the world as a little boy
i was lovin all the girls as a little boy
i was into punk rock as a little boy
i was breaking non stop as a little boy
its time blow their minds...
got treated like a chump as an older man
mixing rock with the funk as an older man
learned what a girl was as an older man
now i know how to love as an older man
but im still a big kid as an older man
and id much rather give as an older man
still im singing in the rain as an older man
aint nothing gonna change as an older man
its time to blow their minds now baby
its time to blow their minds now baby
im on my grind now baby
yall know its my time now baby
come on
who that is? what it say?
what it look like
what it look like baby>
my life is one big dream
im lost in what it means
dont wake me up cuz its almost over
these voices in my mind
keep tellin me its time
to wake me up cuz its almost over
its time to blow their minds now baby
its time to blow their minds now baby
im on my grind now baby
yall know its my time now baby
come on
who that is? what it say?
what it look like?
what it look like baby?
my life is one big dream
im lost in what it means
dont wake me up cuz its almost over
these voices in my mind
keep tellin me its time
to wake me up cuz its almost over
who that is? what it say?
what it look like?
what it look like baby?
current mood:  energetic
current music: Almost Over -- limpbizkit
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