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Thursday, July 17th, 2003
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9:57 am - PORN!!!!
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Well! What a way to wake myself up first thing in the morning! Witnessing the ILLUMINATI PV before breakfast and before I was fully conscious sure took the cherry from the top of my cake! If they were to broadcast that over here in Britain during daylight hours, Malice Mizer would surely be charged with indecent video footage and the whole lecture on 'It's not suitable for children under the age of twenty-five'! Definately made me brush the sleep from my eyes! The only bad thing about it was that Mana was not rolling around with Gackt...Mana was most definately not enjoying himself with that woman though, neutral expression and pursed lips, you could almost hear him crying in his head 'Where's my yaoi fanboy?'
Now, on to bigger and better things...I have finally sewn back on the handle of the family bean bag *Chokes on bile welling up in throat* It's so emotional!!! I have tears spilling onto the floor like you wouldn't believe. It's turning into an Alice in Wonderland moment. My sewing is crap though so the handle will probably fall off in three seconds after being picked up from the floor, but oh well!
Coffee induced cloud....Inhale that fragrance...ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm and all other positive sounds that can be used to describe coffee. This fluid is the only one around that you can purchase to keep me alive. Sure, it gives my heart palpitations, a tic in my eye and nervous twitches, but hey, if it makes my clock tick....
My Mum has the dentist this afternoon...Random I know but it keeps the juices for conversation flowing and another random fact...I just recieved a letter through the door containing Anthrax...
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Dir en Grey-Pink Killer
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| Wednesday, July 16th, 2003
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12:46 pm - Zippedy-do-dah
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Well, today I am sitting at my computer whilst the weather is glorious but I do not wish to recieve sunstroke or skin cancer, so excuse me while I sit in perfect happiness inside in the cool. I shall dwell in the thought's of writing my lemon, that at the moment, is proving a demon to write. Oh well, today is the day that I shall try to find ultimate happiness. I have...drawn Memoir and drooled over him and wished he was real so that I could meet him. Am writing as forementioned lemon which makes me happy as Memoir is finally allowed to be the giver and not the reciever.
Also in the J-Rock department I am very happy! Stuff purchasing the real thing when you can download it for free! Oh well...I can now fully replicate the Dir en Grey MISSA album! Woo hoo! Only six songs on that album but oh well. Actually I have...around 70 Dir en Grey songs to put to CD. Shit, I didn't realise it was that many...
I have nearly finished downloading the Moi dix Mois album. Mana-sama is mine and no one else can have him! MINE I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!! Juka sounds almost exactly like Gackt, this brings up the rumour that Mana in his days of Malice Mizer was partaking in a relationship with Gackt Camui. Perhaps this explains his reserved behaviour in interviews; Gackt was playing footsie with him under the table... Now Mana-sama seems even more reserved...perhaps that is because whilst having a rampant love affair with Juka he cried out 'Gackt' rather than 'Juka'.
Found some very kinky pictures of forementioned Mana in Gothic Lolita Bible. Despite the fact he's wearing a skirt that looks like a tutu he is exposing a lot of thigh and that makes me very very happy! ^ ^;;;
Can safely say that Klaha's voice is still as sexy and smooth as melted chocolate whilst in his solo career as it was in Malice Mizer....nothing more to be said. *Faints*
Kyo of Dir en Grey apparently fancies his crotch very very much! Witnessed a video clip of him on stage where he sang and groped himself. It is now living proof that men can do two things at once. So credit to men! *Waves little flag of support* Despite the fact that Toshiya likes to collapse on the floor and make pedal motions we still love the guy, I mean, without a shirt and in the shower we like very much! *Crickets echo in the silence* Okay, perhaps that is just me then! Poor Shinya, despite being quiet and not speaking unless he's spoken to he certainly can draw attention to himself. Die being his main tormentor...then again you can't really blame the guy. I mean, after admitting to fancying Shinya from the MISSA period you can't help but wonder whether Die commanded the guy to spit or swallow...
Onto me now...I feel happy and revitalised (sp?) I just ate something....Holy Crap we have a breakthrough in the wall of starvation. Had a bath this morning, nothing special happened during that...except the neighbour singing in the shower. *Cringe* No offence to her, but even Tetsu on a normal day sounds better! Drawing Memoir as a princess, well, perhaps not princess...more like a Queen... I feel slightly warm and currently listening to Ryuichi Sakamoto...Instrumental stuff but all good shit as long as they tune their instruments properly...Listen to Gackt's 'Sayonara' and you will hear what I mean.
Finally purchased my CD-RE-Writer. Thank God because now I don't have to turn my computer on in order to listen to J-Rock. Also I will now have something to listen to when I go on Holiday to the coast in order to visit family and stay in a caravan. I love staying in a caravan, that way you can tell when someone's been naughty...
current mood:  awake
current music: Dir en Grey-24ko Cylinder
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| Tuesday, July 15th, 2003
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9:04 pm - More Quizzes
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8:59 pm - Quiz
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9:12 am - This Space For Rent...
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Okay, again another pointless excuse for an update!!! I said a lot of stuff on MSN to a friend yesterday that I did not really mean. Comes from being depressed as I have a deadline to meet and also because I read a rather depressing fiction. I do not see why I can only read miserable stories, probably because mine are all so bloody morbid and icky.
That reminds me...I have to finish Chapter Five...Crap, I do not want to do it, but my writer's block has gone and Fadd has finally stopped pounding away at my skull. Little crapper! Oh well, feeling slightly bemused today and at a loss for words.
current mood:  blah
current music: Gackt Camui- U+K
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| Thursday, July 10th, 2003
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2:03 pm - Whoops!!!
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Sorry for neglecting my journal for so long! I have been happy downloading music and so forth....Very busy! Well, Tuesday turned out to be a very eventful day...some of my friend's know why but I don't particulary want to publish it on the web for fear of being slaughtered!
I may believe in happiness now but I wonder how long it will last? I may just post the entry I was hpoing to post ages ago..but the server was down so I couldn't! I believe I wrote this on Tuesday morning? I can't really remeber but oh well, no one is going to sue me lol.
How peculiar it is...Before I had only heard one of Dir en Grey song's, the forever famous 'Domestic Fucker Family' and I wondered what the in the fuck Kyo was saying, but now I have 13 songs of theirs and I can safely say that I like them very much. I also downloaded some of Miyavi's solo stuff, again, very contrasting from Due'le Quartz. Sort of rock combined with techno? His voice makes me laugh... Also downloading the legendary X Japan, I mean, what sort of J-Rock are you if you do not have at least one of their songs? I am actually downloading 'The Art of Life'. Jesus, how long does a song need to be? However, I have been told that it is worth it, at 29 minutes long it had better be after all this and it's only at 16%...
I had a very beautiful conversation with Eddie on Monday and I can safely say that it was a very heart wrenching conversation, I felt proud to have been the receiver of that much affection. That is one of my problems you see, I am afraid of being alone, that is why I attempt to draw attention to myself. I think if anyone knew exactly how insecure I was they would send my to a clinic.... I actually am a very lonely person at heart and although I put a brave front on for the sake of my friends (I don't want them to worry about me), I sometimes feel like screaming at them about how depressed I am as soon as I get home from school.
Sometimes I just think 'Fuck it, why don't I top myself' but then I think of my friend's and wonder, I wonder if they would miss me...Probably not, I think they actually find me incredibly annoying. I am a waste of extra space...no one really cares about me. Sometime perhaps I will express my feelings to them in person *Shrugs* but perhaps not. They will probably read this now and write me some 'heart felt' comment telling me that they love me really and come straight on MSN and talk to them about it. They will make me feel guilty, but I hope deep inside they will feel guilty for not realising that is the way I have been truly feeling for three years...
I think I have failed my GCSE's, just a gut feeling, but then my gut feelings are usually right. I mean, I knew that something bad was going to happen to one of my family around two weeks ago and it did. My Grandad has had pains in his side and I again have a gut feeling that when the hospital results come through he is going to have something wrong with him. I don't want him to die or have to leave to go to a nursing home or something shit like that, I really love him because he is such a nice person and all the things he has done for me over the years makes me want to cry but I can't.
I don't cry, I have known my friend's Tate and Candy for almost nine years and they have only seen me cry once and that was not properly, I was buried in Tate's shoulder. That was because they went away and Holy fuck, (no offence to my other friend’s) I was so fucking bored. The bond between me and my other friend's just isn't as deep as the bond between us three. I mean, I missed them so much I even started to dream about them being back in England. Next time they leave the country they are packing me in a suitcase to take with them.
Enough of me whining, I shall now depart and if wants to find me I shall be on MSN...
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| Monday, July 7th, 2003
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10:58 am - Holy Crap...
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Okay, it is now official...I am in love with Kyo. Not only is he chibi and kawaii, but he has an excellent voice, not only when he is screaming or moaning etc. but also when he sings in a normal voice...Ahhh, how beautiful he is... I think he sounds a little bit like Gackt when he was in Malice Mizer when they had that sort of gothic sound going on... The way he holds his notes is good and naturally the guitar, bass and drums is superb. I bow down to Dir en Grey!!!
current mood:  giddy
current music: Dir en Grey-Cage
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| Sunday, July 6th, 2003
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4:48 pm - How Peculiar...
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I have started to download the Malice Mizer movie...how very strange it is...I have watched the first part and I all I have to say to it is strange... Mana looks fucking gorgeous as always *Drool* Gackt looks beautiful when he smiles but he's in bed with a woman and not Mana so pout. Kami...ah bless his ickle cotton socks! He is so drool worthy in this it makes me want him even more! Yu~ki and Kozi have yet to make an appearance to my knowledge. Ah well, I'm sure that they will also look scrummy!
current mood: cheerful
current music: The piano music from the movie
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| Saturday, July 5th, 2003
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8:19 pm - HYDE-SAMA!!!
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This is to Candy!
Dearest Candy,
I am so very sorry to burst your bubble but on the GacktxHyde relationship thingy. you are so gonna hit me because I didn't tell you this! Gomen nasai! I didn't want to spoil your fun but...you do know that Hyde is married don't you? His wife is Oishi Megumi a supermodel... Please don't kill me for not telling you...
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7:58 pm - Taidama!
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OMG!!! How gay are Adam and Joe? 'You're the one going to be cleaning that up' and the cute giggle Joe gave when Adam started talking to him? Bloody Hell, are they in each other's pnts or what?
Chapter five is finally drawing to a conclusion, still, I was bawling my eyes out during Adam and Joe. My darling sweet Memoir. *Hugs plushie of Memoir* Naughty Kazuo *Slaps Kazuo around the head* Oh well, Tayles shouldn't be mad at me to much...
Candy and Tate, you are both allowed around my house on Wednesday! Candy darling, be prepared to worship me! How would like the WHOLE of Hide's 'Hide Your Face' album? I thought it would be impossible, but I found it!
We've got a hamster! She is so kawaii! Her name is Ami Kamimura in rememberance of Kami R.I.P.
current mood: awake
current music: Static
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| Friday, July 4th, 2003
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10:47 pm - *SNIFF*
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Oh my God!!! I have just been so mean to Memoir!!! I have made myself cry, I am sitting on the sofa and bawling my eyes out! Kazuo is such a bastard to Memoir.
Fadd, you are such a wanker!!! Making me write this way. Oh Lord, Fadd made me call Memoir a whore and a slag!
Going to watch Adam and Joe go Tokyo! I love those guys! Hmmm, still crying...
current mood:  depressed
current music: Gackt Camui-Another World (hankyou Candy!)
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10:03 am - Tanjobi Omedeto Gackuto-sama!!!
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*Brandishes party popper! Squee!* It is Gackt's birthday a long last! Well, it's already been his birthday for...at least six hours in Japan!
I'm going to Candy's house!!! ^ ^ It is only when I am separated from my twins that I realise how much I miss them! *Sniff*
Candy darling, I am bringing Yoshiki and Fish Scratch Fever! *Peace Sign* Tate, just remember that I wuv you and shall smother you later on!
Eddie, my beautiful angel. Please do not be sad and remember tht if you need someone to talk to I am aways here...
Armies, hello my sexy first wife! ^ ~ I am also missing you...I shall definately be able to come to your party this year!
Laura B, how can I forget you? I hope that your writing is coming along well and send my love to Keri also!
Oh well, today is a happy day. See you all later!
current mood: cheerful
current music: Anything by Hide or Gackt
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| Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003
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9:44 am - Smell me I'm clean...
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I have just had a bath! Very random I know but is the world not the same? I smell of lavender and waterlilly, all flowery! *Rolls eyes as no-one is around to entertain me* Bah!!! You are no fun what so ever! I shall talk to my muses!
*Taps skull in order to rouse muses*
Me: Wakey wakey rise and shine!
Fadd: Fuck off!
Me: Now there's no need to be so rude!
Fadd: I thought I told you to fuck off!
*Fadd then throws pillow at me*
What miserable little minions I have! No good mornings and how are you? All I get is'Fuck off' and 'Can't you see I'm to busy shagging the daylights out of Miggles'! Little... *Grrrrr*
*Again swings arms in a bored fashion*
Perhaps if I kill myself that will bring entertainment my way! The pain will be such a sweet distraction... I don't think anybody would care if I did kill myself. To my knowledge no-one loves me the way I do them so *Shrugs*
Bye-bye World and remember God loves you! (To bad he passed me by)...
current mood:  crazy
current music: Papa Roach-Last Resort
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| Tuesday, July 1st, 2003
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4:37 pm - Yippee!!!
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I have got the Internet and it's coming on Sunday!! It is staying in my room an so I am happy!! Japanese music and PV's here I come
current mood: amused
current music: Electric Six-Gay Bar
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11:57 am - YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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OH MY GOD!!!!! How nice is my Grandad? He has just told me that as long as ring NTL before the 15th of July to get free installation, he will pay for my Internet fee! Oh my God! Broadband here I come! Finally the Internet and I will be downloading music and videos and no one will stop me....
current mood: ecstatic
current music: X Japan- Orgasm
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11:05 am - Meourrurp
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Above is the formation of the word meourrurp from the words meow, purr and burp! No one is applauding? Oh give me sme credit! I was bloody bored! For being a blonde bimbo I thought it was entetaining!
I was bored, bored and surprisingly bored! I drew another Memoir as he would appear when he was 17-18. I was actually pretty chuffed with it. I am giving him away though! Damn my niceness! Giving him away for my wife's leaving present. She had better be bloddy grateful.
Now all I have to do is to draw Memoir when he was an ickle mite! Ah, so kawaii! Probably when he was around 2-3? Kuso! I still have to draw Ruri and at least attempt Kazuo seeing as I have never tried him before! I hope then come out all right!
current mood:  artistic
current music: AFI- Girl's Not Grey
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9:16 am - Quiz!!!
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YOUR FAVOURITE
Music: J-Rock, Punk, Nu-Metal
Cartoon: Anything anime
Colour: Blue
Magazine: ...
TV Show: Anything Japanese or homosexual
Song of the Moment: Beast of Blood
Language: Japanese
Spice Girl: ...?
Food and Beverage: Sushi and coffee
Subject in School: English
Weekend Activity: Writing porn and drawing
Ice Cream Flavour: Mint Choc Chip
Roller Coaster: ...!?
OPPOSITE SEX
Best Eye Colour: Doesn't matter
Best Hair Colour: Not bothered
Short or Long Hair: Getting bored now...
Best Height: Taller than me
Best Weight: 8-10 Stone
Best Articles of Clothing: Jewellery
Best First Date Location: A beach
Which Facial Feature do YOU find most attractive: Smile
PAST
First Years Teacher's Name: Miss Johnson
Last Word You Said: Memoir
Last Song You Sang: AFI-This Time Imperfect
NOW
Current Mood: Lazy
Current Music: Immoral Melody
Current Taste: My Mouth
Current Hair: Sleek
Current Clothes: Samurai X T-Shirt andjeans
Current Annoyance: Silence
Current Smell: My House
Current Longing: Marmite
Current Desktop: Hide promoting Squee
Favourite Artists: Gackt, Dir en Grey, Malice Mizer, Spread Beaver, X Japan
Colour of Toenails: Natural
Current Crush: *Snore*
Time Wasting Wish: Many
Current Hate: Silence
Story Behind Username: My character's name from my vampire Original
Favourite Article of Clothing: My Bling
Last CD you Bought: AFI Sing the Sorrow
Strong in Body or Mind: Both
Do you Believe in Afterlife: Yes
How Tall Are You: 5 foot 5
Current Favourite Word: Gay Bar
Favourite Books: Manga
Favourite Season: Summer
Favourite Day: Saturday
current mood: content
current music: Gackt Camui-Mizerable
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| Monday, June 30th, 2003
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11:37 am - ....
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I just woke up...Bloody Hell...I am still hung over from my Prom after-party. Why did my Dad give me so much alcohol? Not that I minded of course! Well, that was until I remembered how Hide-sama hd died and then I felt sick. I sort of just saw myself in his position lying there slowly dying...I feel like shit! I mean, four bottles of beer I can handle, but port afterwards! Now that is going to far!
The fact that my dad was attempting to get my author's name out of me while I was vunerable did not make me feel any better either. Fuck you arsehole!
I just realised that my friend has gone on holiday *pout* I have got no one to discuss Memoir with and how evil I am! *Grins* I also did not wih her a good holiday, so I feel really guilty now as well!
On a happier note however, Chibbi and Pegeasus's cousin and his boyfriend are coming over soon! *Yay! Waves little S.A flag* I really cannot wait to meet them. They sound really friendly and have the sort of personalities that I can get on with very well.
I drew naked Memoir! Well, torso at least but hey, I am happy with it! He is however, being included in Tayles's leaving present. I have to keep looking at it and reminding myself that he is a man and not a woman! It is all because of the hair.
My website is coming along okay. I have finally finished the J-Rock section. I am still deeply in love with Shinya at the moment. Thank you Tsuchann! ^ ^
Nine fanfictions to finish over the Holidays! Oh well, with my non-existant talent it should be easy! Lemon in my Memoir and kazuo fic coming up!
current mood:  blank
current music: Dir en Grey- The Domestic Fucker Family
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| Saturday, June 28th, 2003
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8:19 am - Memoir...
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So, a rant about my favourite made-up person in the whole wide world! Why do I love him so much? Well, the fact that he is mine for a start, after all, I did create him! The fact that he is a gay drag queen for another reason (well, except when he was paid to sleep with women). He is beautiful, based on Mana-sama no less! His character is wonderful, the way he speaks and acts in pulic in something that I truly admire for my character. Lastly he actually makes you wonder if he is real. In this character I have actually created an atmospheric presence. In short, I idolise Memoir and who would not? He is sexy after all...
current mood: blah
current music: Colour Me Blood Red-Malice Mizer
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| Friday, June 27th, 2003
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11:47 am - PROM!!!
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I just got my prom dress for tomorrow night! I am actually thinking about how huge my arse looks in it, oh well, if I had things my way I would actually be a gay bloke Why? Because at least that way I could fancy the men I want and not feel embarassed! Also then I would probably look better as well, I hate my appearance! Still do not know what I am doing with my hair tomorrow! Oh well, going into St Ives this afternoon to look for a bustiere! Damn, if I were a gay bloke I would so be a drag queen! The way I idolise drag queens is not funny anymore! My dad is pissed with me at the moment because his computer is 'broken' and it is all my fault! Well sorry if your computer has an orgasm over Mana and Gackt porn!
current mood:  aggravated
current music: Fish Scratch Fever-Hide with Spread Beaver
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