| Nothingness |
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| 03:07pm 18/12/2002 |
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mood:  confused music: If your mother only knew...
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Yeah, I just got back from my gym detention. It was so retarded, I don't even know why i went in the first place. All I did was sit in the gym and watch people play basketball and play games on my calculator. Oh well, at least I didn't have to run lapz or nething. And, I don't even have to make up the one I skipped yesterday. Neway, nothing happened in skool today. Tory wasn't there, so I wasn't able to ask him if he still carez about me. I hope the next time I talk to him won't be friday. Eww, friday is our 1 month mark and we're gonna spend it the same place he asked me out at (awww...NOT!). Argh, we have done absolutely nothing. I wanted so bad to fuck him...but I'm not that sure now. For some odd reason, my mom didn't know that he is 17 until last nite. And shez all I'll kill him and blah. What a ho bag, but whatever. I want him so bad, but I don't think I have feelingz 4 him nemore. I'm such a confused person... |
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| skool sux |
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| 02:56pm 17/12/2002 |
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mood:  giggly music: Paranoia- The Misled
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Lol...the skool caught on fire today!!! One of the ovenz in the cafeteriaz blew up. Isn't that the best? Thatz greatness...I got out of la clase de espanol!!! EEEEeee!! And Tory was right across the hall from me, so I got to see him. But y did it decide to blow up on the coldest day of the year is beyond me. Argh, bcuz it was soo cold, we went into the gym and a bunch of us played hackysack, but then they kicked us out. BLOODY WANKERZ!! Oh wellz...thatz pretty much all that happened. Right now, I'm skipping detention (shhh....don't tell ne1) Really I see no point in it. Ack, some1 called me a bitch and i was about to kill them, but I need to control my anger so I took it in. All, I did was tap Tory in the back and she has to start shit. What a bitch. Newayz, thatz pretty much all that happened. Yeah...oh yeah, i had a headache (horrible one) all day today bcuz of hell knowz what. And it was odd, Newayz...write l8r i suppose. |
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| YAYNESS |
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| 10:18pm 16/12/2002 |
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mood:  high music: Blister in the Sun- Violent Femmes
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I'm stoned out of my mind. I smoked three bowlz and two bongz all by myself. I'm proud, or not. Eww...newayz yeah |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| YAYNESS |
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| 10:18pm 16/12/2002 |
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mood: high music: Blister in the Sun- Violent Femmes
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I'm stoned out of my mind. I smoked three bowlz and two bongz all by myself. I'm proud, or not. Eww...newayz yeah |
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| bad skool...bad |
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| 03:20pm 16/12/2002 |
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mood:  pissed off music: hundred million people-treble charger
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Argh, I thought today was going to be a good day. Third period I got my first detention since 6th grade (I'm in 9th now) becuz I forgot my gym uniform twice. Thatz fucked up. And I got 3 dayz detention too. Itz not like stay after one day for an hour, itz stay after 3 dayz b4 winter break. Ugh! Thatz pretty much the main thing that happened in skool today. Yeah, then I'm walking to the middle skool with Tory and Kitty and Kittyz tryin to tell me something about Moit and Tory insistz on interupting. So, Kitty getz to the middle of her story and MOit startz running up. ARGH! And Tory wonderz why i started hitting him. He was really pissing me off. You know what? I haven't like kissed him with tongue in like two weekz. We've only been goin out for 3 and a half weekz. Thatz fucked up. If he doesn't give me more attention hez gettin dump. I thinx hez lost interest in me though. Tonite if he callz, I'm gonna ask him and tell him I wouldn't give a fuck if he dumped me. So there. :-P Eww, I have to go to some birthday partay for some little kid at macy Dz today. That sux ballz. I really need to smoke something. I don't care what I need to fucking smoke. Arghh. I thinx I'm about to go sniff some medication or something. I'm goin insane. |
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| Todayz (up-to-date) |
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| 07:28pm 15/12/2002 |
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(Sunday) Today, we went out to breakfast at McDonaldz and I had those breakfast burrito thingz.....I suggest u never ever to eat them...they r on the grody side. Then, we went to a thrift store in Edgeweed and I got some granpa pantz hat and tie (awesomeness). Then, we went back home and my dad dropped my sister and I off at a goodwill store while he went to the laundry mat. I, again, had success in finding some pretty cool clothes, it was great. I am the queen at goodwill shopping. Then, we went home and watched TV. Really, there is nothing better to do in Aberdump. Ewww...I just realized my dad livez in the same town as Tory and I didn't see him. ROARZ! My dad would hate him. He alwayz told me to stay away from skaterz, then who do i alwayz wind up with? Ugh, and pot headz too, I just can't seem to stay away from them. I mean, they need lovin too. Oh wellz, I likez Tory alot. And my mom sayz she likez him too ( not in that way u dirty sick-minded peepz). So yeah, now I'm at home writing this thinking it'll never get into my journal until tomorrow, but oh wellz. |
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| yesterday |
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| 07:27pm 15/12/2002 |
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(saturday) My dad all came and picked me up argh. Hez such a bastard. He thinx he can control the way I am and he hatez the fact that I'm different. Oh well, he can go fuck a donkey in the ass. He didn't end up picking us up until 3 newayz. Then we went down to Baltimore to drop off his trashy friend. On the way home, my grandparentz called from Ellicot City to ask if we wanted to have dinner at the Crab Shanty with her, my grandfather, and 2 other relativez. How could we pass up the offer? So, we had dinner there and came back home and crashed. Thatz pretty much all that happened. Oh yeah, in the morning I burnt spaghetti sauce and it smelt like cigarettez, then when I tasted it I was like hmmm...y does this taste like Tory ( a horrible smoker...shame) and realized it was bcuz the spaghetti tasted like cigarettez (lol). Yeah, that was the funny part of the day). Thatz all that happened really... |
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| Later on Fri. the 13th |
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| 07:24pm 15/12/2002 |
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(later that evening) I wasn't able to insert all these journals until today because AOL is a whore. They changed my password and I wasn't able to get in and blahdy blahdy blah. Also, I was forced to go to my asshole fatherz house but more on that in my next entry. So, I wound up going to band practice come to find that Tory wasn't there. That made me madly confuzzled (dont ask me why....I'm lost without him) Newayz, I was like not bored though. I wasn't doing nething I was just totally chilled. Then, Kitty came at 9 (I got there at 7:30) and it was even better. I lovez Kitty. So yeah, I missed Tory out of my mind ( itz so odd...never felt like that towardz ne1 b4). I started to think bout some of the thingz that he had told me, like he loved me and stuff and I decided that I'm gonna question him bout it the next time I talk to him. Argh, I really need to calm down and stop obsessing myself over him. I care for him alot and since he moved to Aberdump itz becoming worse. |
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| Friday the 13th |
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| 07:23pm 15/12/2002 |
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(by the pie I'm writing this at 5:50on Fri. 13th. and inserting it in my journal later) Today started off like a bitch, I woke up totally and completely depressed. Usually I have lucky Friday the 13thz. NOT TODAY! I thinx it was bcuz I went to bed not feeling quite to well. More and more I'm starting to believe that I am bipolar. ROARZ! Yeah, I so curked out on my mom this morning (along with my brother and sister) and was like I don't feel like fucking dealing with peepz today. Yeah, and for the first time EVER, I considered suicide. I thinx itz so horrible just to thinx bout it and I did, argh. So, I was gonna be absent, but I decided to go because I had a group project that was due today in my possetion (don't knowz how to spell...).I wound up going to school late...SO, at school thingz were off and on between bad and good until last period, where I spent the ENTIRE period in the office. For the FIRST time ever I had been late to Mrs. Jones' class and she decidez to send Venna (my best friend...whom is alwayz late) to the office to get passez. So, we sit in the office and Mr. Reynolds is calling peepz in his office. We didn't know we were supposed to go see him for a pass, we thought we were supposed to just sit there (err). So, therez 10 minutez b4 the bell ringz and the secretary is all why r u guyz down here. (Umm...duh we toldz u b4 that we were late and needed a pass) So, she tellz us we have to go see Mr. Reynolds (who was standing right there). ARGH!And he tellz us we might as well just sit there. What a waste of time. We should've just skipped and gone to my house (unfortunately I live 2 blox from the school). But oh wellz.
Yeah, so, then after school I walked to the middle school again with Tory and he asked his mom if he was allowed to stay in HdG (where I live) today and she sayz yes. Too bad I'm punished...shit. So, I come home and Tory sayz he might stop by *YAY!* My mom picked my sister and I up from there and told me that I got a letter from Drexel University and thatz shez proud of me and shit. Oh really, then y am I still punished...and can't go to the nutcracker? What exactly can I do about my gradez on a Friday nite...hmmmm? Then, my dad callz (I don't talk to my dad nemore because he is a total and complete controlling asshole) and is like you have to spend the nite over my house tomorrow...we have thingz to do, EWW! Argh, by now I'm just shaky on my feelingz, so I call up Matticus and all of a sudden I see the good thingz going for me and I become happiness (odd). He also tellz me that he has band practice today and I'm all I wantz to go (cuz I thinx Toryz goin...). Yeah, bout my friend Matticus'z band. It is great, they used to be punk and then they separated into 2 different bandz and onez punk while the otherz metal. My friendz Moit and Kitty decided that we are their groupiez cuz we used to go to every band practice. We called ourselvez the virgin groupiez, yeah and it was great. Then we all got boyfrinedz and goin to band practice kinda started not being fun and sorta faded...but they're still great and we lovez them. Newayz, I talk to my mom and she tellz me I can go to moitz to pick up the pantz I left there when it snowed and I'm all yay, but thatz all I'm allowed to do. I talk to her a little later and she said I can go to band practice!~!~!~!~! YAYNESS~!~!~!, but I can't gop til my brother getz picked up by his dad, which was supposed to be 6:30 but now he can't until 7:30. ROAR!!!!! Thingz were going great up until they start going bad again. So, now I'm sitting here writing this fucking thing in word pad because I'm waiting for Tory to call eventhough I know hez not going to. I'm such a fucked up person. Eww...I thinx I'm becoming obsessed over Tory.
Oh my, did I tell u guyz what happened to me yesterday when I was walking home from Kitty'z? I might've but I'm going to re-write it. So, I was walking home and this truck drivez past and therez a black guy and a white guy sitting in it (I'm afraid of black guyz and itz quite odd bcuz my dadz black, but that might be the reason), newayz, they honk at me. And I was used to that over the summer, but then it stopped, I didn't know it was going to start again. But, then they turned around and started following me and saying thingz (I was too scared to listen). So, I go onto a back path and loose them and i just start crying(I don't hardly ever cry...therez no use). That is like my worse fear ever. I really don't want to be raped. I would be so much more of a fucked up person. I especially don't want to loose my virginity to someone I don't know that raped me. Argh, so that really scared me and I'm never walking alone again.
I am extremely wanting to see Tory right now...I missez him itz been over 3 hrz since I last saw him. Eww, now are u convinced that I'm starting to become obsessed? I need to stop or I'll start falloing in love and I don't wantz that. Eww....yesterday I calculated how long we've been goin out and itz been 3 weekz and 2 dayz EEEEeee!!. Lol, if we're still going out in April, our 5 month anniversary would be 4-20...lol. Newayz, I needz to get my mind off of himz. I'm gonna put this journal entry in later along with another to tell u what happenz if I make it to band practice....byez. |
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| bOObiez |
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| 10:23pm 12/12/2002 |
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mood: weird music: Love makez the world go round-Powerpuff Girlz
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| Whore |
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| 09:08pm 12/12/2002 |
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mood:  depressed music: Innocent-Our Lady Peace
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My mom is a total and complete whore. She said the day before yesterday that i couldn't hang out with my friendz nemore bcuz of my progress report. Thatz understandable I suppose, but today when my sis brought her progress home she blocked me from the internet! BLAH! ROARZ! Thatz so fucked up, how am i supposed to stay in contact with my friendz? I really don't like using the phone and hardly ne of them call me. geez...speaking of whorez, i was walking to the middle school with Tory, Kitty, and Brandon so Tory could be picked up by his mom. Tory asked his mom if he was allowed to hang out with his friendz 4 a while and shez all whorish, so then a couple of minutez later he askz if Brandon can come over and she totally flipz a bitch. WTF? His mom is such a bitch and i have never met her. I really intend to keep it that way too. Argh...Why r parental unitz such weirdoz. My friendz r really the only thing keeping me alive now. Jesus Fuck!
Oh a funny thing that happened to me today was I went and sat on Baldyz (David) lap and Spotz (the INSANE sub teacher and yes he likez to be called Spotz) said that i can't sit on his lap because hez jealous. Spotz wantz the lady to sit on his lap...ewww. Okay...well...I'm depressed from my mom, so i really don't feel like writing more... |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Hold back...Whoa |
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| 05:21pm 11/12/2002 |
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 You Are An Intense Kisser!Deep tounging, nibbling, and locking lips for hours are on your agenda. You've been known to wear lovers out with your kiss, before getting to anything else on the menu. And given that you kiss so well... imagine how you do everything else. How Do *You* Kiss?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Aww Shucky |
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| 05:06pm 11/12/2002 |
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mood:  indescribable music: Poem-Taproot
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You are full of energy and impulsivness. You Enjoy being in power both in your career and in your sex life. You are extroverted and very passionate about what you believe in.
Find out your color at Stvlive.com!
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| I'm not as pathetic as i thought... |
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| 04:59pm 11/12/2002 |
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Are you Addicted to the Internet?
Newbie (21% - 40%)
You've started to learn that there is more to the internet than AOL. You've recovered from that email virus that wiped your hard drive and are thinking of getting DSL. You still tend to forward too many jokes and inspirational thoughts via email to your entire address book.
The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!
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