| Crazy landlord Part 2 |
[30 Sep 2005|10:58am] |
So September was my last pre-paid month staying at that apartment. It's been adventuresome - the robbery, the new dance schedule and new studios, the puppy of course. About the puppy, I knew I wouldn't be allowed. But she might have never found out. I did break some of her rules: sometimes I smoked inside, I did light my aromatic candles, I used some of her pots and pans, because I didn't have any of my own, and being on the verge of leaving the city, there's no sense in buying them. She's slightly paranoid, so her apartment, even thought it doesn't have anything valuable in there, has a burglar alarm system. Well, I've stopped turning it on because I was afraid that one night I'd come back and forget to turn it off, the police will come and I'll get in trouble for staying there illegally. It's not my fault the landlord didn't want to make an official contract, she didn't want to pay taxes. So I had my reasons.
It could've all been fine...
The plan was to clean everything up and make perfect, put away the pots and pans, take the puppy to my aunt's place just before the landlord arrives to check the apartment and take the keys from me when I move out. Well, Sunday morning the doorbell rang and it was her. I was startled of course, my place is kind of a mess, I've been trying to pack, I said: "I'm glad to see you of course, but weren't you supposed to let me know you were coming?"
She goes: "I sent you a text message."
It appears, she did decide to use the modern means of communication and sent me and SMS, except she sent it to the wrong number...
She immediately started fussing about the mess.
Then she saw the puppy. She didn't blow up right away, she said: "I'm allergic to dogs, take it out of the apartment right now."
I explained: "This dog is hairless, she can't cause allergy."
She goes: "You can't say that. I'm already suffocating, if you don't take her outside, you'll have to call the emergency."
Whatever... She wasn't suffocating, she was throwing things around, telling me: "you can't put this here, you can't hang these here, this shouldn't be on the floor."
Then she picked up a box and flung it at my puppy, Happy squeaked and ran away and peed on the kitchen floor, which made the landlord even angrier.
She started looking up at the floor, finding random spots and telling me: "It's your dog! She made a mess here and there." As if I never cleaned up after her and just let it all dry up.
I couldn't say a word, I just picked up the puppy and we were both shaking. The lady kept yelling and told me to take all the trash out, referring to the old newspaper which I used to clean up after Happy. I grabbed it and went outside, holding Happy in the other hand. There was no way I would leave her alone with this mad woman. As I walked out of the house, she opened the windows and threw out Happy's mat. The neighbours started wondering. As the mad lady noticed some audience she started yelling through the open window: "You can't trust people these days! You can't do them anything good anymore, they only spoil everything! She could've brought a negro to my house and put it on a leash, what am I supposed to live with a negro then?!" Imagine that...
I told her I'd take Happy to my aunts and return later to pack up my stuff. She said: "You don't have to leave, you can stay. I didn't mean to kick you out, I was only saying you can't have your dog here." Yeah, like I'd be happy to stay there after all that!
My aunt said I was always welcome, even with a puppy, and she'd go and help me pack, but I wouldn't want her to meet the crazy witch, so I said I could do that myself as long as they take care of Happy while I'm away packing. Man, I'm so lucky to have my aunt here, what would I do if I didn't have her? Where would I go in a situation like that?
After I returned, Dima suggested that he stays on the phone with me, while I pack, so it would distract me from the madness attacks of the landlord.
There were some couch pillows laying on the floor. She said I put them on the floor, so I could put my feet on them and accused me of using them to clean up after my dog. Why would I do that? "It's because you hate me! You only act nice, but I know that you hate me! All of your family hates me!"
She said that with all the what-she-defined-as-pee-spots I gotta pay her, so she can change all the floors. I was like:
1. I'm moving out 5 days early and you owe me money for that.
2. These aren't pee spots, it's only that this old floor is not evenly colored.
3. There's no need to change it, I could wash it. If you had warned me about your visit, certainly you'd see this place much cleaner, but you haven't given me the chance.
She kept getting madder. She said I painted her bath yellow. I swear, this bath has always been yellow, it's just a yellow bath. I haven't done anything to it, for some reason she believes I'm lying. She goes: "I only put white things in my bathroom, I couldn't have put a yellow bath in there! What do you think I'm a little kid and you can make up stories for me?"
At some point, I was all shaking again, I was afraid I'd say something rude, I wouldn't want her to have a stroke or something, she's very old after all, I said: "Stop being like that or I'll... " I mean to say that something rude could escape my mouth and I'd be sorry about that, but she wouldn't let me finish, she said: "Or you'll what? Or you'll hit me? You are going to hit me, aren't you?" Afterwards she mentioned it to me several times that I threatened to hit her! Gosh, I don't even hate her, I'm sorry for her, I was worried, and SHE ACCUSED ME OF THREATENING TO HIT HER!
Other things I had to hear:
"It's all your father's fault, he fooled my son. My son trusts him and think he's a friend, and your father had an affair with his wife! All of your family is indecent like that!" Months ago she used to say how much she's glad that my father is friends with her son and what a nice man he is. About the affair, trust me, I'm 100% sure it's BS, except maybe long-long time ago, back when they all were in college, I've heard they went out, but hey, they live in different cities now and they are all good friends.
"It's all the negros' fault. People listen to rap and become irresponsible like this"
"You could've brought an elephant to this house and you'd still think I'm overreacting!"
She talked and talked, complained about people, about being betrayed all the time, about people being evil behind her back... She spoke about her son's murder and she cried. I even appologized and tried to comfort her. She said again that I didn't have to leave right away and could stay till the end of the month. That she came early because she was hoping to visit her son's family, but they don't want her visiting, so she came to me instead. I was really sorry for her, but after all that has just happened there was no way I could stay. NO WAY
She even said that I look very nice, much "slimmer and more graceful than ever"... I'd take it as a compliment, but given the sort of things I've heard from her, I don't know what to believe. Finally, I left her some of my stuff, like the kettle, some bags. I threw away the candles and she asked why I was throwing them away.
I said: "Well, you said you were allergic to them, and they are too heavy and big to take with me, so... "
And she goes: "Why would you say that? It's not that I need your candles, but I was never allergic to them. Why do you hate me and keep making things up? "
"Well, when you visited in winter you even left me little notes saying those candles were bad."
"You liar... I never left you any notes."
And I showed her the notes and she just mumbled something.
She helped me carry the bags to the taxi. Then she closed the door so quickly that we never even said good-bye.
Oh here's the funny part: while she were throwing my things around she found my vibrator... So I had to endure some comments, but really, that's the funny part of it all. The rest is just mad and sad.
It's very nice staying at my aunt's. I'll make a separate entry about them. I'm really happy to have such a great family here though.
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