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Friday, May 21st, 2004
7:11 pm - well... hello again
hmm. its been a long time since i have written in here. i have a livejournal now. so thats why. but i odnt have very many people who know that i have a livejournal. so... i dunno. i miss blurty! but more poeple have livejournals.
im lame
XOXO

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Sunday, May 9th, 2004
11:51 am - "Your so Discusting"
i hate my mom. i hate her more than anynow i know. how can she blame everything on my always? its mothers day, and i wanted to stay with my dad. because i owuld just end up coming here anyways at 6:00 tonight. mothers day is just like any other day to me. but i guess not to her. i called her and told her happy mothers day and she went off on me. she told me how she thought i souhld have been there with er. eventhough last night she said it didnt matter. then she told me how i only think about myself. and how selfish i am. so i ask if she wants me to come over, cuz i will if she wants me to. and she said no she doesnt want me now. so im crying, cuz this is my mom and shes beign a bitch. and she just sits there on the phone not saying anything. then she says, you know i think you use me. you only come over to my house so i ll let you do things that your father wont. youd rather spent mothers day with lisa than with me. how does she fucking assume such stupid unreasonable things? well i dont care.. shes a fucking bitch

XOXO :(

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11:11 am - "I tripped fell down naked.."
Happy Mothers day mommy. i love you, even though the 4 times i called you you were to busy to come to the phone. but thats ok ill try again later. my mom's favorite song is "So Fly" by the NB Ryders. is that great or what? god shes soo cute!

well last night Jessica Tafolla was hinting around that she wants to have sex with me. she said that if she was a single girl she would rock my world. she also said that she wants to try being with a girl with someone she trusts, and thinks is hot (wink wink). i was like.. omg! hahaha she said that she wants to take me to a sex shop. she wants me to buy a vibrator.... yeah. i think shes hella hot though. but i dunno i just cant picture being with a girl. i mean hello i have never even bee nwith a guy. but she says its easier to be with a girl becuz girls know what the other girl wants. i dunno. i have thought about it....

im so sun burnt. i hurt so bad.... my shoulders are killing me, and yet im going out again today to tan. hey it takes pain to be beautiful right? my dad thinks im crazy. he says im going to die of skin cancer. haha i guess its not funny. but my mom has tanned everyday since she was...23. so you know whats the worse that can happen to me when shes fine.

Romeo and Juliet is such a good movie. the one with Claire Danes.. i love her. i finally watched that movie for the first time in mr. millers class. i liked it.

i love this song... "Televators" by: Mars Volta.

My step-mom is going to take me shopping next week for that pink skirt and black shirt i have been wanting. now however i wonder if i should get the brown one instead.. you know since im getting out of black. i dunno. anyways shellys' wedding is coming up.. i think in 2 weeks. then after that its Hanna's and jason's. god i cannot wait to go to theirs. hanna has this sick tattoo on her back and its huge! (so i have heard) and her dress is strapless. haha. yeah..

XOXO

current mood: lazy
current music: The Cure

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Saturday, May 8th, 2004
11:19 am - "Die in my Arms"
hey.. today is a make day. im talking to Shorty right now, then im going out to tan. yes, cuz i am gothicly white. well yeah my mother called brian last night. he still wont talk to me. AND PLUS SHORTY SINCE I KNOW YOU WILL BE READING THIS...I STILL HATE YOU FRO MAKING ME CALL DANIEL. ok so anyways, tonight im going out to dinner with the family... yay! (sarcasim) hmm.. i wanted to go to hanford and buy that black shirt from Anchor BLue.. but my mother is a bitch. and i hate having my parents divorced... actually i love it. but its all fucked up becuz of mothers day. i am with my dad and tonight at 6:00 i go to my mom's then tomorrow at 6:00 i come back to my dad's... its to much moving. well Alex Is On Fire.... May 26th! the day i turn 15!!!! whoo-hoo! I Love You Shorty.... and Jamie too.

XOXO
P.S. my shoulders are peeling, from getting burnt to a crisp yesterday... "peeling like the skin of an apple"

current mood: accomplished
current music: Old SKewl AFI

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Friday, May 7th, 2004
2:56 pm - " I cant save you anymore"
lets see.... what first? today i got to watch in pain brandon throwing himself at his girlfriend. ugh... oh yeah and while telling Valerie how much i want to bone Jose Achutigi, he walked by. so yeah, he thinks ima slut. little Mike is going to be at Melissa's after Prom party tomorrow.... god i want to go sooo bad! everyone is going to a concert tonight. i want to go! but i cant. today skewl went by really fast. cuz we were on min. day schedule. so at 1:00 we had the Food Festival. God i love Jecika. shes soooo hot on stage. she sings so beautifully too! yeah. henry and i had fun today. hes soo funny. i really do love henry. when i was thinking about going to handford, hes the one i thought i would miss the most. god ive known him for what.... 10 years? whats a day without Henry? ha. so anyways it was sooo hot at the Fodd Festival so Jamie and i poured water down eachothers shirts. haha we had a nice water bottle fight. hes the best! and hes soooo sexy. getting him all wet was like my fantasy! hehehe. but yeah he was wearing some J-Lo sun glasses! why wont fucking Brian just call me already? i want to go see BEL AND THE DRAGON WITH SLEEP OVER DISASTER friday night!next friday. and if i dont get talking to him then i cant go!

OMG!!!! Mat just called me! well, not me, but mom. and we talked! we actually talked! he wanted to talk! hello this is a huge deal to me. we used to be like.. ok yeah heres mom bye. he kinda... kept me on looking for concersation starters. i love that hes trying. but hes going to england... i miss him. we dont talk, but i miss having him here, eventhough he hated being with me. i loved him.....

XOXO

current mood: annoyed
current music: Pete Yorn... again

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Thursday, May 6th, 2004
2:53 pm - "We'll fall as if we never really mattered"
what would i give to be with Brandon Anderson? would i give myself? let my body fall at his feet. just to prove i mean love. im not sure. but i know for sure that his girlfriend does not deserve what has been so casually given to her. whos john? do you remember what you had said about him? do you remember doing to him all of what you do to Brandon? i would like to someday ask her this. but until then i can only dream in lust of my beautiful Brandon.


Brian never answered his phone last night. so i thought i would have Shorty call him. well, when Shorty called him, he decided to answer. so Shorty says. so then i call again, and he wont answer. well it makes me horribley upset when people for no reason stop talking to me. i text messaged him durring lunch. and he replied with losing his phone, and how terribley sorry he was. first, if he lost his phone why didnt he just call me from his home phone? second, how did he answer when shorty called? its simple to assume he is lying. but why?


Mirra and i had a nice chat aobut her beating up Annabel. she really should i think. Annabel is kind of a whorish slut....


Anna was talking about "socking" wes today...

Kenny and KC were talking more of their shit. not on me ofcourse, but on a friend of mine. i dont understand how they can do that, then pretend to be his friend. if they truely dont like him they need to let him know...


Sandra told juana she thought i was her friend but im not. how could i possibly throw myself at Shorty when i know how much she loves him. well all i have to say to this is fuck you stupid bitch. im sick of Shorty telling me how much he hates you. you may love him, but he loathes you. by the way...we are only friends.

XOXO

current mood: bitchy
current music: Pete Yorn

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Wednesday, May 5th, 2004
2:50 pm - "Such Great Heights"
FUCK BRIAN!!! this is the main topic in todays entry. he promises we will go see ATARI CHAMP and PRETTY GIRLS MAKE GRAVES. then i go home and get ready. i call him at 5:30 tosee if he is still wanting to go. but he doesnt answer his phone. i call him later and he still doesnt answer. so i get ready and its 6:00pm! show starts at 6:30pm. well he never answered his phone. and he never called me back! god he could of at least said. "i dont want to go" or something. but just letting me sit there waiting. thats fucking messed up!

wes and i are working on a story in Joes. its about a cat "Mr. Puss" and an Octopus. well the oct. gets washed up on the beach, and the cat sees him. he offers to help the oct. but first the oct must go to dinner with him. so they go back to Mr. Puss' house and freshen up, then slplit a cab. they go to the Crab Shack, and order a table to their selves. but the waiter starst checkin out the Oct. this makes Mr. Puss mad. so they leave! they end up back at Mr. Puss' house and.....hahaha thats it so far. haha yep yup. we have to make a slide show out of our story. so.. whatever.

My Journal Is Not Lame Henry! hahaha

current mood: angry
current music: Pete Yorn

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Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
3:37 pm - "It Makes You Wonder"
today.... lame! i was sooo mad all day and i dont even know why. i fucking yelled at wes in 1st for no reason. then at kenny. then at matt. i dunno i was mad about soemthing. probably ana. now this isnt my ana its rigos ana. i dunno i mean i really shouldnt care at all. but i do. she called henry last night wanted my # so she could call me and bitch to me. she thinks that i talk shit on her cuz thats what fucking rigo said to her. ugh! hes such a fuckin faggot! jesus. so yeah she wants to beat my ass. but yeah tonight is ATARI CHAMP and PRETTY GIRLS MAKE GRAVES!!!! woo!! yeah hm.... shorty and i are getting married! may 21st is what we decided on! yeah but you know since he fucked sandra its off! hahaha im movng on to my new man... Jamie! shorty's brother! hahaha yeah right! well im hella scared brian is going totry to pull shit tonight. so i told him that i want james to come. i also told him that im going out with KC! hahaha... yeah NEW DEGRASSI!!!! woo! yep yep for all of you who want to know Henry's journal is lame! he never tlaks aobut me! im only his fucking SEXY SISTER!! mat mailed me a t-shirt. so thank you for that mathew. i know wear it and think of you since i will probably never see you again. and actually i wore it today!

XOXO

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Monday, May 3rd, 2004
3:51 pm - "Burn This Bridge"
today was so much fun!!!!! K.C. and i were together all day! in joes we got in a fight and kept slapping eachother. then in simpson we started socking eachother. then in math he pushed me into the door. then in luka he sat by me and he tried curling my eyelashes, and then he let me curl his and show him how you do it. it was soo much fun. i love time spent with him. he makes me laughso fucking hard. but we are just hella kewl friends. thats it. yep. so brian and i are going to go see ATARI CHAMP!!!! yay! he wants to go see north star but they are playing in bakersfield and my mom said NO! but i dont blame her its a skewl night and all. well this weekend was so much fun! i went to julies. i got fucking Keyed off my ass! robert bought me 3 of those huge bottles of Smirnoff, and i drank 2, then we had hieniken and some corona with lemons in it. it was good! yep and Greg tried to get at me! fuck i was scared! yep yep. oh and Bobby took me driving. he was getting baked as i was driving. how nice huh? haha yeah well he told Cody that i was talking shit about the way he kisses. so he got all fucking pissed and when i answered bobby's phone he started saying all kinds of shit to me. but fuck him. bobby hella clowns on him thats the only reason he said that.

XOXO

current mood: aggravated
current music: TWISTA!!! "Overnight Celebrity"

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Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
4:53 pm - "I wanna Make you Feel beautiful"
um.. today was ok. testing sucked!omg! it was so hard. i didnt know anything about earth science! i hate ana so much right now. she promised she would take me to see Pretty Girls Make Graves. and now she is telling me that she is going but she wont take me. yeah talk about being a slut. she wants to go alone so she can leave with "guySSS" as in more than one! ugh! so last night Jamie called Julie. but Shorty is being a bitch and wont tell me anything! he wont tell me if Jamie likes her or what they talked about. all he said was that they talked all night. which is good i guess, but shorty said that Jamie didnt like it. i dunno Shorty is always lying to me. why would you talk to someone all night if you dont like them? you know what song i love?!?!? TRY by Nelly Furtado. whatever the hell her name is. yeah well i have been listening to a lot of Pete Yorn and Jason Mraz now for some odd reasonwhich i am not yet sure of. um.... Does Hector like me? im not sure. Shorty said no, but again like i said you know shorty. but Hector always hugs me and stuff. i jue me as a friend so you all know. also i really think Evan likes me...eww. but yeah so as you all know i am totally jealous of Steph going to prom with Matt. but he has a history (kinda) with Julie, so i told him i was all "yeah i hope you know that i am telling Julie about this." and he goes. "trust me i DONT want to go with Steph im just trying to be a nice guy, since Remi didnt want to go with her." ooo! so then shes all "what were you and Matt talking about?" well being the hella kewl person i am i said "oh he was telling me how happy he is that you asked him to Prom." so now she is all happy thinking that he likes her. ugh! but i couldnt tell her. "oh no he said that he hates you and just feels sorry for you." Im stuck between Cory and Henry, they both hate eachother... but i agree with both of them.. Kinda
XOXO

current mood: confused
current music: Pete Yorn

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Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
4:41 pm - "Why dont you do right"
today was.... ok. it was soo fucking cold in simpsons class. brr! my back hurt really bad leaning against the bleachers durring PE... ah! um.. FUCK RIGO! god hes such a shit talker. i wish i would have listened to Corey Lantay. Brian and i are going to the concert in 4 DAYS!!! woot-woot!we had testing today and i guessed on every single one! it was soo hard. i dont even remember learning most of what was on the test. but whatever. god i have nothing to say in here anymore. so im gunna go.
XOXO

STEPH IS TAKING MATT TO PROM!!!! NO!

current mood: bored
current music: Mars Volta.... i love "televators"

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Monday, April 26th, 2004
3:00 pm - "your blood is in my heart."
blah. so i have been planning on going to see travis play for a long time now. then last night i went to henrys house. without telling my mom, as she claims. so she said that next weekend i cant go anywhere! god im sooo fucking mad at her! shes such a stupid bitch! ahh! so in science i was text messaging *Brian* and i had to tell him that we cant go. god i hate her. yeah, so friday night Brian, James, Henry, and i went to see Hawthorn, Bel-And-The-Dragon, and Static Lullaby. Hawthorne was soo awsome! Bel was pretty good too. but yeah then we went to Starbucks, and then to the Arcade! haha. but starbucks was nasty and we got sick! blah! then saturday i slept all day. then sunday *Brian* and i went to the mall, then we fought about who would walk home, so we sat in his car for about 20 mins. debating. haha anways... Jamie is going to Hook Up With Julie! im soo hapy. cuz whenever i go to her house. i always hook up with a few of her friends. so now she can do the same with mine! yep. today was ok. victor said that he was going to tell me something becuz i was talking all kinds about his faggoty poser ass. then in Art when i sit by him i was waiting and waiting, and he didnt say shit! hes so fucking scared of me, i love it! well i dont really have time to write now.
XOXO

current mood: bored
current music: Whatever Emo band this is. Brian picks the music now.

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Friday, April 23rd, 2004
4:29 pm - "Im still in Love..."
aight.. so today was good. this week has been hectic with testing and all. but its friday! i got in a fight with lisa. i told her that i wasnt coming home cuz she was being a bitch and she said that i couldnt come back, so i was like fine. so yeah im going to a concert tonight with Brian and Henry. henry and i are trying to make pizza. yeah never let henry make you a pizza. he thinks you are supposed to leave the cardboard under it! haha. hes soo funny. Yea brian tried to lay a kiss on my the other night, and i was like do it, i want you to!!, and yea hes being freaken dumb about how he doesn't want me to be getting pregnet and stuff but im like WTF just screw me already!!! yea and he likes my friend henry better then me!!!haha yeah so anways. HENRY WROTE THAT!!!!! hahaha. well im not to sure what else to say...
XOXO

current mood: bouncy
current music: The Stills

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Monday, April 19th, 2004
2:55 pm - "Dont Worry About It"
aight.. so this weekend was great! henry and i were working on that video for art so he was with me most of the day. we did go to hanford for a while. then at like.. 7:50 PM Brian came over. we sat hung out until.... blah around 11:00PM. then we got bored and needed coffee. so we headed over to StarBucks. so after that we drove around a bit, then we came home! it was fun though. Brian is soo awsome. and henry and him really got along which is good. cuz when your "bf" and your friends click its nice. now the reason i put "bf" with "" around it is becuz of this... first hes 19! second hes not really my bf. i mean fuck yeah we click. we have so much fun together. and the time with him just flies by. but.... im not to sure we like eachother. i mean.... little things he does, lead me to believe that its true. but im not sure. im not to sure i think hes hot either.i mean when we met at Josh's he mad eit clear that he liked me. but that was a long time ago. and he Cut His Hair!!!! i dont really like the cut to much. but i will grow back. but anyways sunday henry and i were so bored we started daring eachother to eat things. we ate: hair moose, hair gel, and lotion. haha that lasted abouit.. 20 mins. most of it was laughing though. yeah but NEVER eat Jergens shimmer lotion! it fucking numbs your toung! yeah did i mentio that henry spent the night. i wasnt sure if i did or not. but anyways. my sister is a cheerleader (blah!) so she has that fake hair that they wear. OMFG henry put that on, and it looked like he had a fucking mullet! i laughed my ass off!!! omg. it was sooo funny. yeah and then he was dancing to this GHETTO song! omg. we have fun!
XOXO
tonight ill see Julie! im scared as fuck!

current mood: anxious
current music: NB RYDERS... their comin to Fresno!

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Friday, April 16th, 2004
2:39 pm - there is a better world. well, there has to be...
aight so today we had our free thingy.. lame it was. but sexy hartsburg all nice and wet! mmm!! yah and i think Shorty likes me! which really scares me. we ended up... i dont know the words. but today we were (whatever the word is) and sandra was getting really mad, cuz she is in love with him! but i really like his brother! Jamie is soooo sexy! and he has this hella kewl Nike leather backpack! hahaha but hes sooo funny. and Jose Achutigi.... OMFG that man is so hot. Kenny told him that i wanted to fuck him. which is true for the most part. but omg.. i love him soo much! i would do anything for him to be my boyfried. and hes a senior so after this year i wont ever see him again. but i dont know how to talk to him.. blah, but Brandon Anderson i so sexy too. but he has a gf.. and fuck is she ugly as hell. i seriously have No idea what he sees in her. shes like.. a white trash bitch, and hes all sexy and skaterish! but whatever. i really want Achutigi.. (sighs) whatever. thats pretty much all i have to say. im making a movie in art tomorrow, and im going to Shelly's wedding shower, and i might go out with Brian.. i dunno yet. but next week is testing! Fuck!
XOXO

current mood: nervous
current music: NB Ryders!! "take my time when i touch that body!"

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Wednesday, April 14th, 2004
3:43 pm - "And she bleeds dry"
ok so today was pretty good. really good actually. oh fuck.. but in first period kenny and i got in the biggest fight ever! aight so we were taking a quiz and Mr. Joe lets us use our nothes. but i forgot mine in my locker. so i was like.. "joe i dont have my notes" and hes all "well just do thebest you can." and kenny sits by me. so we start the test and to be funny kenny shouts "chelsea stop looking at my paper!" and i was "shut up!" and a little later he goes "chelsea! stop talking!" he thinks hes sooo funny. so i get pissed, and i see him talking to K.C. so i yell "Kenny stop copying K.C.!!" and Mr.joe looks and sees him reaching over to K.C. and he got pissed! mr. joe started yelling at him for copying and saying that kenny is getting an "F" and all this shit. so kenny looks at me and goes "God chelsea your a Bitch!" and i started laughing cuz he was being stupid and then i got him in trouble! and K.C. thought it was funny too. so then durring third kenny comes up to me and tells me how much he loves me and hugs me. and i was all thinking "yeah bitch, come kiss my ass like you always do!" hes fucking stupid! but anyways other than that it was great! i looked sooo sexy today! juana kept telling me how much she loved my t-shirt. and then durring P.E. when we were changing, she was all "oh look at my new panties there soo cute!" and i was like. .omg get over yourself. so i take off mt jeans and im like, "oh well juana look at mine!" and shes all "AH! those ARE cute!" hahaha i know i wear hot panties what can i say, im just a sex chick like that. oh and today i hugged Hector and he covers half his mouth and says to Shorty "i touched her boobs!" and then he covers the side of his mouth that is closest to me and says "oh sorry i touched her boobs!" i was like "you dork!" haha hes funny. and Ismael!!! i love Ismael! he always buys me a gatorade! omg and Art was sooo much fun! we did blind contour drawings and now we are coloring them with Cubic colors and what-not. its kewl!

XOXO


R.I.P. Nancy :(




P.S. next Friday ATARI CHAMP AT KUPPA JOE!!!! (the guitarist and singer paul is way sexy!) i hope stephy can come with me!

current mood: hopeful
current music: Cardiac Jacket.... i miss you josh

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Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
3:04 pm - "when it rains, it pours"
why am i depressed? i listen to far to much Radiohead. Atari Champ songs entice me. the phsycidelic sounds and lyrics of lonely space travel capture my imagination. today durring lunch i was so bored i found my way into Mr. Joe's room. i went ahead and read my brothers live journal. (live journal.com user name FakeBlackStars) it was the most boring yet captivating story i have ever read. its scary at times how demented yet brilliant he is. he made a music video to a songe he wrote for his fish. his fish are the loves of his life. i have always said and will continue to persuade people to believe that he is nothing less than pure geinies. i cant even spell, yet he is so scintillating. how does this happen? how did he become such a poetic soul. questions i will never understand. i miss him more than i can possibly ever explain. last night in bed i held close my foofee which he had given me. arent sibblings supposed to share more than blood? we dont talk we dont see eachother. i long for the relationships others know. i think maybe thats why i feel for to ana. she is all i will even be close to that is mat. i have become what i am hoping it will help me to feel what he has gone through to become the wonderful person he is. yet the harder i try the farther i puch him away it seems. next year he is moving to England. the brother i miss will be nothing but an empty room to me for the rest of my life. i am depressed. what can you do when you are? theres nothing which can help. nothing but getting my far more depressed fish loving brother back.
XOXO

current mood: gloomy
current music: RadioHead --- Ok Computer

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Monday, April 12th, 2004
5:45 pm - "Coming from you friend is a four letter word..."
hey.. wow its been a long time. so whats up? well my spring break has been awsome. sadly though. its over. well so ill let you in on what happened. i went to see Against All Authority and NOFX. it was pretty good. i did a lot of shopping. thursday henry and i went to the hanford mall. we were sitting there and all of a sudden henry said his little joke he is famous for. "hey theres your boyfriend" so i look and OMFG it was Brian! Brian! hello i havent seen him in soooo long. and the last time i did i was sucking face with his best friend Josh. after he had already told Josh how "cute" he thought i was. but i was to "young" becuase he is 19. well anyways i called him over. and he came and we started talking. hes soo kewl! so i gave him my number so we could keep in touch because that was just crazy that we met again. so he has called me everyday since then. he left Pac-Sun and now works at Me-N-Eds he is a delivery boy! hhaha. but we are going to go see Christina and Chingy in concert when the tour together! haha. yeah so im glad i got to see him again. i still ove Gid though! i havent talked to him in like a week! Easter was lame.. you know how that goes. i got in a fight with my cuz-n Dustin cuz i was wearin this Hollister shirt and sweater and he ofcourse thinks that store is lame! then i got in a water fight with this guy Nick. haha it wa sso much fun! so him and i were like wrestling, and he pushed me in the pool. which made me really mad cuz i still had my clothes on. so i took them off and i had my swimsuite on underneathe. so we were fighting again, and i pulled him in there with me! it was fun. im such a freak. he was soo kewl! and so later we went skateboarding, and he rode down these 4 stairs. and i was like your fuckin crazy if you are going to do that. and hes all just watch me. and he rode them. i mean he didnt even jump them. he just slipped right down all of them. yep well.... lets see what else is new. i dyed my hair. its dark brown! sooooo soooo sexy looking on me. i love it! only wish i had done it sooner. i closed my plugs. now everytime i see someone with them i get sad! all that pain i went through for them gone!. and all the memories. Rigo sucking on them when they were sore. Corey Lantay putting alcohol on them for me. (that was the first night i did them, we had just met) and i miss him! oh yeah i remeber why we stopped talking. he cheated on me with Amanda Hall. fucking whore! that was.... last summer. thats right. yeah well....their gone. i talked to David the other day.. Thursday i guess it was. this is gay David im talking about. yeah...i was buying new earings in Claires and he came up to ME! not the other way around! haha hes kinda weird. he bitches about how his ears wont close, cuz he went to big for to long. then when i saw him he was stretching them again! ha. hes funny. i asked him if any kewl concerts were coming up, cuz he knows everything, and hes all ... "i dunno i havent been hanging out with my friends very often, so i dont find out about that stuff anymore. im kind of a Hermit now." hahahaha a HERMIT! i thought that was funny.

XOXO,
*Chelsea*

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Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
4:29 pm - "its a wonderful day in the neighborhood."
I SAW ANDREW TODAY!!! ok so this guy walked by me at the mall and was fucking hella starring at me and i was like.. damn i guess this guy thinks im hot. so yeah, and he kept smiling. then he took off his sunglasses and i saw that it was him. i havent seen andrew in soo long! since i was banned from julies house! aw i missed him soo much. and then i finally see him, and i dont even getto say hello. im soo stupid. yeah Andrew is just a friend. but i saw David today! omg! i love him. why are sexy punk emo men always gay? yeah he used to want to hook up with my brother. Mats sexy though, so what can i say? i have his looks. and anyways he is stretching out his ears again cuz they wont shrink. plus he got a new tattoo, and he got rid of his blakc rimmed glasses. he has contacts . they look good on him. god i miss him. we used to be hella close. he works at Claires now. i also happened to stumble apon James while in Pac-Sun. he works there. wow! i havent seen him in soo long. i was hoping however to run into Brian. but James is ok. you all know of our past together however. so i couldnt help but laugh as i walked in and found him starring at me. and then there is steph. hahaha he had the funniest thing haopoen to us. however i dont think she wopuld like me to explain .but it was deffinaetly one for the rememberence.
XOXO.....should i shrink my ears back? i miss the dangling ear rings.

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Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
7:32 am - "You make for a bad lover's liver...."
ok yeah ive been having fun this spring break! um... sunday i went out with my chicks, met guys at the mall. yeah this one was walking behind steph and i and we were talking about this guy we saw at the boardwalk with a mullet, and i was all "he was hot" and shes all "no he wasnt" and the guy behind us was al "yes he was!" hahaha. then they followed us into hot topic, yep and in there i got new plugs. there was aslo some weird guy dancing! ok buddy. but they asked us for our numbers when we walked out. i didnt give him mine though. cuz i love GIDEON! hehe. but yeah steph hooked up with one of them. yeah and i found the cutest jacket in American Eagle Outfitters. its sooo cute! so ima go back today and buy it and buy some tank tops at Hollister. the cute ones with the lace. and a shirt at Forever 21. its blue and the straps are a tan lace and there are flowers on the shoulder. yep. its cuter than it sounds though. trust me i dress sexy! so i have to return a vans shirt i bought... oh and i need to find a skirt. i need a sexy skirt to match my jacket! yeah and ima go shopping again with my mommy on friday. so i have 100$ from my dad for today, and my mom is giving me 100$ for friday with her! i love spring! hehehe. yep so today steph and sabrina and i are supposed to be going at 8:30. well that wont work, cuz my mom is being a bitch and doing her taxes. instead of driving us. i would drive, but we want to go to Fresno. blah!
I havent partied in so long its driving me crazy. i need a fucking drink! last night i went over to josh's house to, while my dad thought i was at sabrina's. yeah. god i needed something! so we started drinking. i said all i would have was a bacardie. but you know me. he pulled out the bud and i kept drinking. i mean thats the nastiest thing i have ever tasted! but it was good. does that make sense? i feel so horrible now because whats wrong with me to make me lie to my mom and dad so i can go out and drink with Josh? my dad hates him! and drinking? when i got into partying i always said i would never become like brandon and all of them and drink all the time. i dont. i dont crave it yet. i just needed some. i was stressed....

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