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[Sep02'2008 01:40AM] |
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today i ate a sandwich and a pot noodle which is 886 calories. i've lost like 4 pounds in two days. need to keep it up, it's hard when the people i'm staying with love kfc and there's loads of fast food round here, and i don't even know where the supermarket is because i've never been here before. but i'm eating fruit only tomorrow!
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| hair help |
[Aug29'2008 01:58AM] |
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i need some advice on what i should do to strengthen my hair. i'm losing weight, but i'm also losing hair volume and i'm concerned about the amount i brush out after showering. help pleeease? what should i do?
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[Aug01'2008 06:46PM] |
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this community is so dead :( i suggest everyone go to the pro anorexia community on lj, if youre not already a member that is. :)
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| fuck. |
[Jul15'2008 03:13PM] |
I went to an eating disorder teen support group...
i don't feel like it helped..
seeing the thin girls just made me want to strive to looose more.
ugh
i hate purging..
why can't i stop?
i'm afraid to keep going, but i'm afraid to get fat.
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[Jul14'2008 01:13AM] |
my weight gain has been so out of control lately that i'm seriously considering turning to blow to help me. i know that it's a horrible idea, but i honestly can't stop binging. and the worst part about it... i'm pretty sure my family knows, so i try to hide it by not purging right away. and by the time i acutally do get to purge, there's basically no point, because my body has absorbed all the calories.
has anyone else had these thoughts?
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[Jul07'2008 08:31PM] |
i haven't been on here in forever. how is everyone doing?
because i haven't had a successful fast in a couple of months.. i've been binging and purging 3 or 4 meals a day. i can't stop eating :\ and because of this, i weigh 130ibs now.
so, i'm in need of some inspiration.. everyone tell me how many days they have had a 0cal fast for.
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| ELLO moto! |
[Jul01'2008 03:34PM] |
So yea. Im here.
Long story short, I have issues.
heres my stats:
age:17
height:4"11
hw (highest weight): 200lbs
lw (lowest weight): 115lbs
cw (current weight): 130lbs
stgw (short term goal weight): 100lbs
ltgw (long term goal weight): 90lbs
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[Jun04'2008 03:09PM] |
i was so awful today and its only 3 o clock. wake and bake, peanut butter and jelly on toast and peanut butter chocolate ice cream for breakfast....purged. pizza and pulled pork sandwich...purged. went running in the forest preserves for 2 hours...came home...fried chicken and pudding, purged.
what
the
fuck
is wrong
with me, i was finally starting to see my belly flatten.
and now my throat hurts and im gonna get a headache.
i have to go to work but i seriously need to take some laxatives.
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| _back... |
[Jun01'2008 04:14PM] |
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i doubt any of you guys remember me but i used to post regularly about 5 or so months ago i don't know.
i gained about 12 pounds! D:
i'm sooo unhappy.
i need to get back on track.
here are my current stats.
age: 18
height: 5"4
cweight: 132 lbs
short term goal: 120 lbs
long term goal: 110-below.
i'm starting a fast tomarrow since i've already eaten lunch.
i have about 3 weeks and 2 days to lose this weight.
wish me luck.
stay strong.
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[May31'2008 02:07PM] |
I so fucked it up today
i was doing okay too
:(
hope you're all doing better
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[May29'2008 11:15AM] |
Everyone, and i mean everybpdy that i know is constantly telling that im too thin, im tiny and that i need desperatly to put on weight, but since i got really sick a couple of years ago and was diagnosed with a kidney disease right at the peak of my ana, everyone was able to blame that for my weight. now though im better and still basically the same weight, maybe 5lbs max difference.
The thing is, i can not see it at all. not the slightest bit, i look in the mirror and see someone as big, if not bigger than all of my friends, even though i wear the smallest size they sell in the common clothes shops were i am. My new friend who i believe is absolutely tiny and gorgeous gave me some clothes that she didnt wear anymore and they all fit me. And for the first time ever i looked in the mirror and actually saw that my arms were mainly bone, my ribs were visable through the top and to be totally honest, i liked it. But then a few seconds later, it was gone and i just looked my normal old disgusting self.
Its kind of made me think, maybe i am tiny and i dont need to be constantly worrying and unhappy with everything i eat. But know that will never happen cos i still look in the mirror and see fat.
Sorry its kind of long but i havent been on here in so long, since my bf knows what kinda stuffs on this site and if he ever finds it in my history its big trouble.
hieght: 5'10(ish) 178cm
cw: 103lbs
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[May16'2008 11:24AM] |
Hey,
Im sick of bullshit. Just plain over it. I mean fuck what have i ever actually done to anybody yet people are always treating me like shit and walking all over me. I just dont know what to do anymore. I cant be honest with anyone about how i feel so im back here once again.
Oh and as i was randomly abused by a girl who i thought was a friend she was like oh and and is it true you cut your foot? I mean W T F ? ! ? Its bad enough theyre spreading rumours about me but that? Every single group i pick to be my friends ends up fucked up. I think im going to give up trying to be social and just go with the flow, you know be my own person and all that shit.
My friend, well more of an aquantence hung herself a month ago and i dont really know why but i really upset me. I just guess it hit close to home ya know. And its all i can think about, i visit her bebo page everytime im online and listen to the song whe requested every single day. I just keep thinking about it more and more and more. I mean what if she made a mistake and what if there is nothing after this, just nothing. What about her baby girl. What about everything, the sky, trees, snow? I mean what if its just nothing but black? But then what if its not. There must have been a reason to want something else so bad. I mean fuck we all think about it. But i dont want to be forgotten, like what if there is NOTHING after this, and then eveything else you've done is forgotten and the only thing showing that you were ever like anything at all is a plaque in the cemetery and a body in the ground? I just cant let it go ever. My boyfriend said i was obsessed, and maybe i am but i just cant let it go. I mean her friends obviously cant live without her and she thought she had nothing going for her. I dont even have friends and im still here. Maybe someones trying to tell me something. That i should just fuck off and never come back.
Fuck im so confused and wish i just had someone to talk to and answer my questions but no im all alone with no one to save me now.
Also im flat chested as fuck, i mean i dont even need to wear a bra yet i do cos otherwise it looks like theres nothing there. I cant stand it, the one thing i completely despise about my body. Im about 105lbs and almost 6ft tall and i still think im fucking fat. well not everywhere, just concerntarted in places. I just dont know what to do to fix it. Im on the contraceptive pill and im sure thats spossed to help but its not. Im thinking maybe those pills they try and sell you over the internet. I mean if i could fix this, maybe i would feel better about myself. And i know my boyfriend notices and see him looking at other girls and i know he wishes i was like that....
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| explain this one to me. |
[May13'2008 07:12AM] |
ok, friday night i weighed myself, 125lbs.
I got really drunk and didn't eat anything..
I weighed myself saturday evening and 122lbs. I was SO happy.
Saturday I ate a salad a few cheese-sticks
and sunday I ate Chinese.. lots of it.
Weighed myself Sunday night. 126!!! is that even possible or is my scale fucked up?? & I didn't throw up any this weekend either.
oh and another thing. I've gained like 10 pounds since last summer but I can still fit into my tinee-tiny shorts.. I'm really curious to where all my weight is going? erm:/
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[May12'2008 12:31AM] |
i'm extremely pissed right now and need somewhere to rant.. and you guys are the only ones who i can talk to about this, so....
every time i go to "shower" (i'm actually purging before i shower) my parents or siblings are always knocking at the door, telling me to hurry it up.. even when i ask them if anyone needs the washroom before i go in. it makes me so mad. like tonight, i went in to "shower" and before i could even get in the actual shower, my sister was kocking at the door, telling me to hurry up. and on top of that, she stood outside the door until i got out. and i wasn't even done purging. ugh.
sorry about ranting.. i just had to get it off my chest.
love all you girls ♥ hope everyone is doing well :)
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[May09'2008 12:56AM] |
my mother called me fat tonight = no eating.
current status: 125ibs
stg: 115ibs
ltg: 90ibs
ps: does anyone know of any other communites that are more active than this one?
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[Apr29'2008 11:22PM] |
unfortunately, i've gained MORE weight.
i'm guessing i'm around 130ish now, which is completely unexceptable.
fast starting tomorrow.
quick question.. does anyones parents know they have an ed?
i really think mine know and i'm positive my sister does.. advice?
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[Apr29'2008 10:27PM] |
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I broke my diet today and ate chicken nuggets and rice pudding! :( But I'm not giving up.. I picked up my prom dresses from the seamstress today and they look better than they did 2 weeks ago :) & hopefully I can hit the gym or go running tomorrow.
PS. I heard eating half a banana as soon as you wake up makes you lose weight. Idk if this is actually true but I love bananas so it works for me. GOOD LUCK ALL!
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[Apr28'2008 03:12PM] |
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I'm also x_shake_it_upxx but this is my private journal which I like to use better for this. So today's intake.
breakfast: 1 scrambled egg, half a grapefruit, green tea - 100 cal?
lunch: salad w/ raspberry vinaigrette & walnuts - i'll say 200 bc of the dressing & nuts :(
snack: other half grapefruit, green tea - 30 something
I am going to look hot for prom if it's the death of me! On April 15th I posted saying I wanted to be 115 by May 1st, and I weighed in at 115 a few minutes ago :) Cool. I'll say hopefully I can make 110 or under by next week (may 5)? I've also been hitting the gym and going running, so some of my weight could be muscle mass? I'm hoping because I was a little disappointed to see I wasn't less than 115 before..
My biggest problem is warding off cravings bc I'm such a binger! I'm hoping drinking tea, chewing gum, brushing my teeth, and if all else fails eating fruit or veggies will keep me skinny!
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[Apr27'2008 11:31PM] |
me:
have u ever had a "she is too skinny, and its slightly unnattractive" feeling ever
him:
i have, but that was long ago
we were talking about me getting better, he keeps telling me im so skinny and sexy now, but i miss the days when i was tiny
I gained so much weight since the time he was reffering to. and he doesnt understand that telling me im much sexier now than before when i was thin is much worse than saying i look way to too thin now
ugh what to do, but lose
WEIGHT NOW 110
WEIGHT THEN 98
HEIGHT 5`6
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[Apr24'2008 10:31PM] |
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i am the thinnest i've been in 5 years, but i am still trapped in the same body. i do not want rolls when i sit. i do not want hangy arm fat. i do not want the sideview of my stomach to look like a pregnant woman. i do not want thighs that still manage to somehow touch. everyone keeps telling me im too thin and dont need to lose any more weight, and i know its all in my head, but it doesn't stop me from believing what i see, and not what they see. i am 5'9" and a size 4 thats. why can't i just be a fucking TWO. no matter how thin, its never thin enough and i am so sick of killing myself every fucking day for this, and yet i can't stop. i run for 2 hours every day. i can't go out to eat with my friends, and i make myself throw up when i eat a cup of fucking ice cream. why do i feel the desire to be "perfect". who the fuck made skin and bones perfection in the first place. the advertisements and supermodels that inspire me are not real, they're airbrushed. the body i want is anatomically impossible.
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| thinspiration!! |
[Apr23'2008 07:44AM] |
its that time of the month and i'm a bloated cow and prom is saturday..
so here is some thinspo for us all :)
**EDIT**
I know some people might not see this as thinspiration because these girls bones aren't showing or because they have some curves. But this is the epitome of how I want to be.. big boobs, flat stomach... small thighs.. I want to be thin but not the point of it being disgusting.
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| question. |
[Apr18'2008 09:54PM] |
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what do you all think of vitamin water? good or bad for losing weight/staying healthy?
i was reading a post below that offered wonderful tips and the person mentioned a multi-vit pill...but i know that the lemonade flavor of vitamin water is supposedly for multi-vit.
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| Just curious. |
[Apr16'2008 07:14AM] |
What pant size do you guys wear? I'm in between a 3 and a 5 because my thighs and ass are huge.
My prom dress is a 4.
anyways.. I'm just curious to hear what you guys wear.
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[Apr11'2008 11:47AM] |
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hey so now that summer is almost here, here are a few helpful food ideas: salad with zero cal dressing, pickels, and alot of water .. also try a multi vit pill on top of that so you stay healthy! good luck =]
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