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[26 Dec 2004|09:33pm] |
dear mike,
when we first started talking, you would talk about cuddling and stuff. now, you talk about having sex. which is cute. and i like you despite myself and despite distance. and despite a lot of other things that should keep me from liking you. you are my favorite person like ever. i wish your hair were longer. and i wish that you were not the addict that you were. because the thing is, i want you to come to california and party with me. but i wouldn't want to party with you because that would probably mean you doing speed and coke and stuff. that's bad. don't do it.
love,
liz
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[26 Dec 2004|12:01am] |
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i want to marry mike. he makes me happy and sad all at the same time. i want to cry.
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[21 Dec 2003|10:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
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i am a fucking douche. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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you are a dildo. |
] |
Dear Asshole,
I hate you. I like the song We Go To Eleven by A Static Lullaby more than I like you. I am trying to find which song that these lyrics go to: "just hit the lights before you leave. your hands have been places that they shouldn't go...but dont worry sweetie, i already know. and this is the last night that you will be keeping secrets from me." Nevermind, Max told me. It's Blue Channel by Taking Back Sunday. I knew it was Taking Back Sunday though. I made Christopher Ho cry. It was silly. I think that maybe, just maybe, that I like someone that is not Max. Because this person is someone I talk to on a daily basis. I am going to fucking eleven. I'm kissing my idols before I kill them.♥
See ya later fuckface,
Liz
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[07 Dec 2003|05:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 chipper |
] |
OH MY FUCKING SHIT, EVERYONE HAS A BLURTY OR A XANGA NOW. SHEEIT DUDE. SHEEIT DUDE WAS MY NEW REQUIEM FOR A DREAM LANGUAGE.
I WANT TO TYPE IN CAPS, SO, I'LL BE FUN AND DO THAT. I WISH I DIDN'T UNJOIN THE COOL COMMUNITIES I UNJOINED. I DON'T KNOW WHY, I JUST WISH I WAS STILL PART OF THE LIKE 15 COMMUNITIES I WAS IN. A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN RANDOMLY imING ME. You should IM them.
absolut cordelia
IlllIIlIIIIIIIl
O spaz attack O
YourAIMSnSucks
Okay, so it's not that much, but I IMed a bunch of strangers too, so it seemed like a lot.
I'm going out to Fresh Choice tonight with my church's girl group. I hate it. I lost the book we're supposed to be reading too! I need to clean. I finished Ashley's shirt. Well, pretty much. I'm going to add something else to it, I'm not sure if it will work yet. I need to work on Klely's. I have cut out two letters of hers. NOTE TO MYSELF: laminate the peper before cutting.
I'm being really HXAXRXDXCXOXRXE and taking pictures and I painted my left thumbnail black. How hardcore is that? I know, VERY.
A HINT FOR EVERYONE ELSE WITH A CRAPPY-ASS BLURTY: get a greatestjournal because you get all the features of a paid account and their server is 20billion times faster.
:]
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[06 Dec 2003|02:35pm] |
i got pizza sauce on my keyboard. i'm a pig. but it was lean pocket pizza sauce. my dad is an asshole. he hasn't paid TWO of my cell phone bills, so now my cell phone is a useless asswhore.
i want people to be happy. i want them to realize they are lucky to have friends.
friends at all.
people in pleasanton are depressing to me. i need to clean out my buddylist. i am going to give up on talking to people from the australia trip. they suck anyways.
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[29 Nov 2003|09:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
damn homie.
an update! oh MY shit. klely's present is lonely underneath my tree. i think i am annoying the shit out of cameron. i am 14. i rule YOUR school. RANDOM COLOR CHANGE! i dunno what color it will even become. i'll have to wait and see.
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[09 Nov 2003|08:46pm] |
OMG, YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF? EVERYONE DECIDING THAT THEY ARE TOO BUSY TO CARE FOR THEIR FRIENDS. WHAT THE FUCK? THEY SAY "OH YEAH, WE'RE DRIFTING. IT'S TOO MUCH EFFORT." IF YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS WORTH LETTING DRIFT, THEN WHY NOT JUST SAY, "HEY _____, WE AREN'T ANY FRIENDS MORE, LET'S LET IT SLIDE, SEE YOU AROUND?" WOULDN'T IT MAKE IT EASIER FOR THE OTHER PERSON, RATHER THAN HAVING THEM READ YOUR FUCKING JOURNAL AND FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT IT?
PEOPLE, PLEASE GET THE FUCK OVER IT. GET GUTS, TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO THEIR FACE. AN ONLINE JOURNAL ISN'T SOMETHING TO HIDE BEHIND. I KNOW I HAVE BEEN GUILTY OF IT BEFORE.
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[25 Oct 2003|01:19pm] |
Let's go! You are positive hardcore.
You have a genuine love for hardcore music,
especially the early stuff, but you're too nice
to intentionally hurt someone. You're not
afraid to dance but you won't go swingin' if
someone is in the way. And if you do
accidentally hurt someone you're the first to
kiss and make up. If you're not Straightedge
you will be, or you're a Christian. Forget
about other peoples safety and we'll talk about
being tuff.
How TUFF are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
yeah. that's me. basically.
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[22 Oct 2003|06:47pm] |
i decided to think about what i really think and came up with this.
abortion: i hate the idea. people who can't take care of a baby shouldn't be having sex. rape victims should have a choice.
straight edge: if someone asked me if i was straight edge, i would say yes. i won't go around with x's drawn on my hands saying, "yeah, i'm sXe. you should be too."
more later. i am not in a mood to think.
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[19 Oct 2003|12:10am] |
homecoming sucked. badly. kelly is updating her blurty now i noticed. i was going to type a bunch of things but i decided i'm going to sleep.
i'm going to celia's hc is 2 weeks. =-O
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[17 Oct 2003|10:08pm] |
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i deleted people. unless you are a cool community or someone i know, you are deleted. just comment, i'll add people back. i don't feel like reading people's journals and commenting unless, they can read mine and comment.
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[17 Oct 2003|10:06pm] |
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i want to move to the fucking east coast. if you can make that happen, i'll be your friend.
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[16 Oct 2003|09:22pm] |
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i want to move. i hate our school. i hate our cliques. i hate my "reputation". everyone hates me. i hate everyone. it's a happy little circle.
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[21 Sep 2003|11:55pm] |
Uh, yeah.
I went ahead and added some people back. I think the only realy reason why I'm keeping this is because I've got a bunch of real-life friends here and I want to keep up with them because it feels like they don't tell me anything.
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| a bunch of memegens i didn't know where to put |
[21 Sep 2003|12:00pm] |
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[07 Sep 2003|10:10pm] |
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I won't be using this account anymore. I think I'll be keeping up with "cool" voting and such. If not, I'll make sure to leave them. If you want my new online journal, IM me at pxrnograptherapy or comment.
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[06 Sep 2003|08:49pm] |
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mood |
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crazy |
] |
i had a dream. and _kissthis was in it.
except it wasn't really her. it was the idea of her. i was living in this house, and one of the rooms was hers.
it was a freaky dream. like... i was living in this apartment building with some lawyer and i was folding jackets into umbrellas. weird.
i got sheksi gothis hooker boots. and i love them.
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[02 Sep 2003|12:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
some friends are just really cool and make me feel all happy. and i wish i was able to carry around feeling special in like a little plastic bubble. the kind the toy rings come in.
i want that.
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[30 Aug 2003|09:00pm] |
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i read books. and i totally don't understand why a character will do something. i wonder, if what i do was written down, would what i do be just as confusing?
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[30 Aug 2003|04:04pm] |
my dad isn't here. he should be here. he should be expecting to pick me up for chruch. not like my mom would let me go tonight. but he should be here. my dad is such a wuss. i hate that. my mom got all pissed at him earlier this week, so now he's hiding.
i hate my parents. they don't know how to be parents. my mom should have it figured out by now.
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[29 Aug 2003|07:37pm] |
( pxrnogratherapy: what do you think of me? )
"punk" count: 3
"cheerleader" count: 2
"somewhat gothic" count: 1
WEiRDoS
i do not know how these people get these opinions of me. but yes, good way to make your day. unless everyone on your buddylist hates you or something.
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[29 Aug 2003|05:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my fault by eminem |
] |
( schizoid )
my personality is so complex. i can be a hermit and i can be REALLY outgoing.
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| straight edge |
[27 Aug 2003|09:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cranky |
] |
why i am not straight edge:
-straight edge is trendy as fuck. i find it to be a bunch of the punk/emo fucks who can't form an opinion on their own so they just copy their leader. which bugs me.
-it's not a label for you. it's for everyone else. it seems like a shitty way to get out of explaining your beliefs and it gives you a reason to preach to others. it's never simply, i am straight edge for MY health. not for what you think of me. if it really was for your health, you wouldn't need a label.
-it's stupid. the whole punk scene revolves around anarchy. and to be anarchic in a sense that means there are no class dividers. and the whole punk/ straight edge thing was about unity right? well then why do the straight edgers beat up people? that isn't very uniting. i just slightly contradicts everything the whole basis of the culture was founded on.
why i don't drink:
+my sort of brother has been in jail for as long as i can remember. he was charged with attempted murder when he tried to rob a 7-11 with no weapon while drunk.
why i do not smoke:
+it's gross. and dirty. and smells. and my mom does it. and if there is one person i never want to be, it's my mom.
why i don't do drugs:
+my family situation. enough said. i don't think my family history can be completely understood by anyone not in the family. my half brother and my sort of brother pawned all our valueables for drug money. which was just plain shitty, plus we now have no heirlooms AND my mom didn't press charges.
why i won't have sex outside of marraige:
+i do not want to be my mom, my sister, or my brother. they are all completely unhappy, demented human beings.
that is that.
no one fuxing comments damnit.
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[27 Aug 2003|06:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
WE'RE A-V-J-V!
WE'RE BACK AGAIN
TO VIC-TOR-Y!
HERE TO DEFEAT
ALL THE REST,
AMADOR DONS
WE ARE THE BEST!
that is stuck in my head. and i am not even on the JV squad. however, i think it is quite a catchy cheer.
andrew was acting like such an ass. he got vodka on the floor of the drama room. asshole. he's spoiled. i don't think he had enough to get drunk. but i do not know how much he had.
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[26 Aug 2003|10:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blah |
] |
first day of school:
2nd period. michelle is in that class. some other freshman that i know and some sophmores. the teacher seems nice. a lot better than my last french teacher.
3rd period. uh... brett lewis is in that class. and i think it would be fun to kill him. no one i really know/like is in that class. teacher seems nice, but i don't like her humour. not very funny.
4th period. uh... the teacher seems okay. i don't like health much. except substance abuse/ mental disorders. but yeahhhh.... i dunno, could be a good class, could be bad.
5th period. kelly is in this class. seems okay. teacher is i dunno yet. i feel bad, max came in and spent like the period with us but he's really in another class. i kind of wish he were in that class.
6th period. the teacher is weird. a couple of sophmores are in that class. 3. but yeah, the teacher seems like a uber dyke feminist to me. but apparently, she has a daughter.
7th period. pe. oh lucky me. the teacher seems strict. i don't like their grading system. i think i'd rather have roberts. what's nice about having a new teacher though is, i get red REALLY fast, so the teacher thinks i'm dying. and sarah is in that class, which she makes me seem a lot more fit. kelly is in that class.
yeah, no 1st period. i do not think i will be asked to homecoming. because i make bad impressions and i am uber ugly compared to other people at our school. yeah, i can tell these twin people hate me already. see, cuz what i do, is i say things that might not seem rude, but i say them really loud right by the person, which makes it seem rude. but gooooooooo figure. word.
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[25 Aug 2003|05:11pm] |
cheerleading pros:
+i am good at it
+exercise/hard work
cheerleading cons:
-i can really despise doing it
-hard work
-evil
-annoying
-embarrassing
feel free to add to the list. i do not know why i do it. but i like it. it drives me crazy.
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[25 Aug 2003|03:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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if winter ends by bright eyes |
] |
( me, michelle, and ashley with the singer and guitarist of poison the well )
at cheer practice, i was backspotting. we were cradling from an extension and her feet slipped from the bases' hands and she fell on me. and apparently, i was VERY close to hitting my head on the cement. so thank God for that. but i ended up getting a cut by my nose.
it was very weird. cuz when kristin first got off of me, everyone was like "are you okay?" then i heard, "you're bleeding" and i was like oh SHIT! cuz i thought my nose was bleeding. but it wasn't. i kept getting all dizzy and blacking out when i walked around.
i don't think it's very fair. when we drop a flyer, we have to 25 push-ups. except the flyer. even if it was the flyer's fault AND if the flyer isn't hurt. but when I/somebody actually gets hurt. we don't have to do anything. i just don't think it's very fair. if the flyer like kicks out or jumps forward and hurts the bases, but she would still be safe, we HAVE to catch her. i don't know.
none of you even know what i'm talking about. but that is A-okay! LOOK AT THE PICTURE!
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[24 Aug 2003|10:28pm] |
i am mean. i like to say no to people in "cool" communities. but whatever.
i made anastasia join blurty and tomorrow, i am going to make hers pretty and shit.
uh, yeah. last night, me and lauren were scratching ourselves with her spikes to make welts. i still have the red marks. the welts went away. they welts were the cool part. i wrote liz :) on one arm and :( on the other.
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[24 Aug 2003|06:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blah |
] |
Name: liz
Age: 13
Location: bay area
Reason for username: i am dumb
Aim ScreenName: whatawhxre
Reason for Aim SN: i am dumb. i like the word whore.
Do you enjoy reading my journal[s]: uh, i stole this from someone i do not know. so no.
Why: go away.
Interesting fact about you: nothing.
Weird fact about you: nothing. damnit. i should have looked at the thingers before i stole it.
Quote: "With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels."
Will you post this in your journal[s]: i am damnit.
If you saw me out in the streets would you say hi: suuuuuuuuuuure. but i dunno what you look like. cuz yeah. i am rude.
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[24 Aug 2003|04:46pm] |
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mood |
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i'm too busy being emo. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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deep-dive-corp. |
] |
i want to learn how to make the boxes smaller. and stuff. i have a layout that i made for my site that i want to use. but. i dunno. i'm going to go read about customizing blurty.
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[22 Aug 2003|09:59pm] |
today i went to michelle's house. her brother took a shower and he came out in a towel. i looked over and he's like "you know you want it" and i was like "you know it" or something.
yeah. funny funny.
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[21 Aug 2003|11:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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annoyed |
] |
punk music is annoying. it was nice at the time. but now it's just repeating itself. i think that a genre like punk, needs to be stopped after a generation. stupid 14-year-olds talking about bands who had either broken up or died by the time they were even born is ridiculous. all these stupid kids who go to my school walking around with identical shirts and chuck taylors piss me off like no other. in last years yearbook, there was a picture of three of the "punks" staring at their identical fucking shoes with a caption that read something like "original". yeah. that's it.
it's not even that punk music is especially good. it's people who can't play instruments mumbling about how they want to screw the government up the ass. they are limited to the option to play music because they are too dumb to do anything else because they don't pay attention to school. cuz that wouldn't be punk enough yo. old hardcore pisses me off too. it's exactly the same.
i know i'm going off on the same whiney argument but it's so true. the "punks" i know have nothing to rebel against. they just go around jumping fences and pissing adults off.
that is so cool. i want to be just like them.
eh. they need to learn to play instruments. write lyrics with meaning. and go to school. until then, i am annoyed.
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[21 Aug 2003|02:46pm] |
whatawhxre: <33 is prettier than <3
curlyhairbasskid: why
curlyhairbasskid: i dont liek the double one
whatawhxre: the double looks nicer
curlyhairbasskid: it looks liek the number 33 it confusese me
whatawhxre: that is cuz you are not sex. if you were sex, you would understand
curlyhairbasskid: i wanna be sex
curlyhairbasskid: why cant i be sex?
curlyhairbasskid: why not?
whatawhxre: you don't like <33
curlyhairbasskid: well thats not a reason why i cant be sex
whatawhxre: well, if you were sex, then you would like <33
whatawhxre: it's an indicater
curlyhairbasskid: well are there other "indicators"
whatawhxre: like?
curlyhairbasskid: i dunno you no what is sex and what isnt
whatawhxre: of course i do. it's my label.
curlyhairbasskid: well if i just canged my mind and decided <33 was cool can i be sex?
whatawhxre: yes.
curlyhairbasskid: allie likes <33. can she be sex?
curlyhairbasskid: so do i
whatawhxre: yeah
curlyhairbasskid: so can i be sex now?
whatawhxre: sure
i must be cool. i am "whatawhxre".
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[21 Aug 2003|01:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sad. max has no ovaries |
] |
chardfieldsofsno: actaully to tell you the truth i neve rhad ovaries, but i told poeple i used to so i could fit in wiht the super emo people
=-O
how dare he?
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[20 Aug 2003|09:21pm] |
i started the slang word sex tonight. go me. except not.
anastasia's friend died tonight. suicide.
selfish.
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[18 Aug 2003|05:51pm] |
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i want a sex change
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[16 Aug 2003|11:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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melancholy |
] |
I took the personality quiz thinger in Jenna's profile. According to that my priorities are:
1. family
2. money
3. pride
4. career
5. love
I think of myself as loyal. I think of my partner(what partner?) as pissy. I think of my enemies as ugly. I think of sex as yummy and I think of my life as pretty.
I'll never forget Ashley, Michelle is my true friend. I truely love Lauren, my twin soul is Cecelia, and I'll always remember Kelly.
Question # 4:
You have to send this message to as many persons as your favorite number and your wish will come true on the day that you put.
I put 13 and Friday. Which wouldn't be hard to do. But my wish was to be in New Jersey.
Which will not happen by Friday.
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[15 Aug 2003|07:57pm] |
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music |
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boys night out |
] |
renee: we are not friends. i have forgiven you too many times. i will not feel like shit while you shove your tongue down any guys throats. you knew what the problem was, i told you when you slept over at my house. you're right, you do things and take advantage of your friends. i've forgiven you this time and all the times before that, but it's not forgotten and i am sick of it. i do not want to talk to you. ever. to repeat, we are not friends. don't call me. don't ask me to do anything. i'll hurt you, and no, that is not a threat.
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[15 Aug 2003|03:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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boys night out |
] |
i figured out something. i don't trust people who tell me they love me. when someone says they love me, it makes me suspicious. i don't know. i think it's because i tell people i love them so easily that i can't believe that others love me. or maybe i'm just that insecure. i need something. i'm so crazy. but i think what makes a person less crazy is the fact they can diagnose what is wrong with them. or maybe, that makes me more crazy.
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[10 Aug 2003|08:44pm] |
( wayyyyyy too nice )
sorry, i didn't put the earlier post behind an lj-cut. renee, sorry about this post. but you know our talk. i dunno. i just didn't want what happened with jared to happen here.
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| i didn't do all of it. |
[10 Aug 2003|02:35pm] |
[x]full name: Elizabeth Jane Smutz
[x]story behind your name: I was supposed to be named Holly. My family made lists around the house about what my name could be. My middle name is from an old neighbor named Jane Elizabeth. We didn't know her middle name was Elizabeth til I was 11. Kinky, eh?
[x]nicknames: Liz, Lizzie, Jaluda, and Smutz.
[x]story behind your nicknames: Jaluda is my nickname for a few people. We made it up in Australia. The rest are pretty basic.
[x]where were you born? In the "ghetto" of Fremont.
[x]where do you live? Pleasanton.
[x]important people in your life: Kelly, Cecelia, Lauren, Ashley, Jessie, Renee, Caitlin, and Danielle. I think I got them all. If I didn't, you can shoot me.
[x]first crush: Ths kid named Adam in pre-school. Go figure.
[x]last crush: Ew, no. I'm ashamed. He's a horny fuck. Jared. Not Warren.
[x]current crush: Not really. Uh... kind of. I'm confused.
[x]first boyfriend: Bugger off!
[x]last boyfriend: I hate the stupid boyfriend questions, because they remind me what a loser I am.
[x]current boyfriend: I don't want one. Nor do I need one.
[x]where do you want to be right now? In New Jersey!!!! Lauren sucks, fucks, and blows. She's in NJ, what a whore!
[x]how many screennames do you have? 17, maybe 18. I'm a screenname whore.
[x]current screenname: wastingxxaway, but I want whatawh0re.
[x]favorite thing to do: Honestly, I <33 being online. What a geek, but I like hanging out with certain people. I like being at church sometimes. Sometimes I like to cheerlead.
[x]talents? None. At least none that can get me anywhere in life. I'm a good cheerleader. That is all.
[x]describe yourself: Oh, I am shit at this. I can be really bitchy and I can be super nice. Depends on you. A lot of people who try to be really nice to me, I'm really bitchy to. I don't think most people should try to be nice to me. It's hard to explain. I don't like the feeling that they want me to think they're cool. That sounds a bit egotistical. But I don't know how to explain it. I am argumentative. Sometimes when I yell about things, I haven't even made up my mind in a situation. I can't decide on things. Like EVER. I don't find myself to be some "great", "nice", or "cool" person. I used to be a huge loser, and everyone hated me. Then in like 8th grade, I got "cool" or something. I don't know how I did it, but I'd like someone to explain it. WOW, that was a lot. Sorry.
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| i don't want to go to my physical |
[06 Aug 2003|02:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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forget december by something corporate |
] |
<3
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[04 Aug 2003|11:00pm] |
NewConglomerate1: i love u too i guess
i love AIM so bad. it rules. it's been amusing all day. it rules me hard.
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| what the flying fuck? some weird IMs today |
[04 Aug 2003|04:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused like no other mother |
] |
| [ |
music |
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KONSTANTINE! again. |
] |
( idiot )
yeah... weirdo. someone IMed me saying my website was good, and then the same person IMed me on two different screennames. weiiiiird
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[04 Aug 2003|04:06pm] |
Love this hate: well first off whenever someone says 'liz' i think of your hair.. its always been so pretty and i love your red color
Love this hate: i think that your a beautiful girl who is very real with herself and her friends.. i love how you get really excited and we can have long conversations about being bored..
some people are so nice and i love them half to death
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