What is going on today? Nothing really but..........
I did get myself grounded for not telling my family where I was going to be, and I have done that before. So yeah. That is all I am going to say about that.
My friend who has an eating disorder is now getting smaller and smaller. I remember last year when she was a pant size bigger (11-13) and now she has become 2 to 3 sizes smaller then me. I really don't know what to do anymore. I hate to see her waste into nothing, but lately she has been different, and distant with me. We have no classes together, or lunch. Only see each other at church, or when I go to her house which is like once every 3 months. Like I said she has been distant with me, holding back something, and thinks she can treat me like I am her bitch or something. I hate this shit. Sometimes I wish that I had never met her at all. Our friendship started out great and now it is a big pile of shit. So that is her and I don't know what to do about that. So if you have anything please tell me.
Guess who is back... back again... if you guessed Tyler, you are correct. He has been talking to my sister for a while now. SO he is back in her life. I really don't care. Might sound cold and heartless, but I just don't want to talk to him again, and get all lil sister like or whatever on him again, just for him not to talk to me when he is not talking to my sister. That is a or the reason for him not talking to me before, because he was not in my sister's life. But that is cool, they are picking up where they "left" off I guess. Plus I really don't think that he would like to have me back. Why you might ask. Well I can't really answer that myself, but part of my thinks is because I am a teenager.
My mother, little brother, and aunt chris are back in my life. I have seen them about every other weekend. My little brother is still a dork, but I love the nerd. He asks goofy around me and I hate it. I told my mother this and she said it is because he doesn't know how to act around his sis. I replied with "I am his older sis, not a celeb. Just act like we used to (minus the beating up on each other). My Aunt sis I guess is really happy to see my brother and I like she does now. It's cool to see her too. I am happy to see my mom again, and off drugs, but I can't help but think that this is only temporary. I am used to her being nice just before she falls back down again.
Now lets see, how have I been? All right I guess you can say. Though I have found myself switching moods often at school. I now get angry and hurt faster some how this year (and yes it is over the stupidest shit). My two friends who have boyfriends are in "love". Watching that makes me want to vomit. I hate that word, love. Well when it comes to boys. I love my family, and they love me, but when it comes to boys.... I cannot see myself falling in love at all. I cannot also imagine a boy (and yes they are BOYS) falling in love with me. When I mean love I mean love. Not this stupid bull shit that people think and want to call love, but I mean real love. I am too young to be thinking about this shit, and like I said it makes me want to vomit, but maybe that is just me. Oh and another thing to add to the whole love thing.... okay well I guess it doesn't have to do with love, but the whole perfect person for everyone..... I also think that does not exist. A guy asked me that and I started to list what mine would be 1.) Instead of taking me out to a movie, I would rather be taken to a play. 2.) I don't want to go to a fancy little place for lunch, I would rather have him make a picnic in the park. Stupid crap like that.... and the guy kinda got quiet.
Enough of the romance shit...... Art class is fucking awesome. I have to redo or copy a master piece. I picked Emil Nolde's Moonlit Night. It is a beautiful piece. I am doing it in chalk pastel. I picked this piece because of the cool colors. I mean this piece is in light blues, purple, greens, yellow, black. Ahhhh I love the colors.... I always find that I am drawn more to pieces with cool colors more than warm for some reason. I don't know why, maybe because for me I think I find peace.... maybe.... If I can find a picture of the piece I will post it in here. Bringing back the chalk pastel part..... I love to blend... and overlap colors, and push my media. Love it, and that is another reason I pick it. I have to find out more on Emil Nolde, and when I do.... I will post it on here.
That is it for now.