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Oh Jeez la weez [05 Mar 2008|09:03pm] Shit, the deep fryer is on.

2 % of the stupidity is shown here | Ashley [13 Feb 2004|07:48pm] Tonight there'd be a party, and Ashley really wanted to go. With hope she could, she asked, but her mother said no. Said that it would be dangerous, not to mention wild and crazy. And that was no place, for her precious baby. Ashley stomped off to her room, and slammed her door. She was old enough not to listen, to her mother anymore. She stuffed pillows in her bed, and climbed right out the window. Because earlier that day, she told her boyfriend she'd show. She tip toed to the end of the street, called her boyfriend on the phone. Told him her mother wouldn't listen, so she left her home. She sat in the park, waiting for her boyfriend to arrive. Tonight would be wonderful, tonight she'd be alive. When they finally arrived, the music was blar'n. Tonight she wouldn't be herself, tonight she'd be dare'n. She picked up a cup, and drank the night away. No worries at all, well at least not today. She saw people dancing, having fun with one another. She thought "why not," set her drink down, and didn't bother. To hold herself back, instead she let herself go. When it was over she got off the floor, a sip from her cup, and little did she know. She went on talking and having fun, when suddenly her head felt light. She began to feel dizzy, and knew something wasn't right. She was in someone's bed, when she woke from her "sleep." Didn't know who was lying beside her, and she began to weep. The pain between her legs, made it impossible for her to leave. How could this have happened she thought, to a girl like me? It was that on simple mistake, of putting her drink down. And being a kind person, trusting others around. Just because everything seems fine, just because people come off kind. This moral of the sorry, I wish, you'll keep in mind. People like that do exist, and will hurt you. They don't care who you are, or the damage they've caused you. So be safe the next time you're out, and watch everyone closely. Because who knows what could happen, you could end up just like Ashley.

1 % of the stupidity is shown here | [03 Jan 2004|12:09am] Hey I am new here. I have been writing poetry for about 3 years. Anyways, here is one of my favorites. She walks amongst the forest, barely touching the ground. Walking through it quietly, not making any sound. She marvels at the moon, and wishes upon a star. That one day she can leave this place, maybe some day ride a shooting star. She sits under the moonlight, and prays to the God above. That he will hear her cry, give her something to love. But in the darken forest, where she is forced to be. She suffers from loneliness, and also from misery. The trees are her only friends, the only ones who will listen. Knows everything about her, even the secrets she keeps within. She looks once more to the stars, and she feels something growing. Wings magically appeared, without her even knowing. The wings are soft to the touch, and shine from the moonlight glow. Happiness overwhelms her, and now she knows. She can watch from the moon, and ride shooting stars. For now she is one, one with the stars.

Realized [19 Dec 2003|07:33pm] You've made me realize, that I don't have anyone. For me there is no true love, out there for me is no one. That without you, or anyone else. I can be just fine, alone by myself. No one to hold me, when I get scared. No one to mend my broken heart, when it needs to be repaired. No one to whipe my tears, that have fallen on the floor. No one to tell me, in life I deserve much more. No one tell me I am beautiful, in so many ways. No one here to talk to, when the blue sky has gone gray. Can I go on, knowing all of this? You would be amazed, when you do not exist.

1 % of the stupidity is shown here | Emil Nolde's WOrk [16 Dec 2003|06:24pm] [ music | No Doubt-Sunday Morning ] Okay I couldn't find the one that I was doing, but I found other ones I liked.

To my friends. To my sister's friend. To whom ever. [16 Dec 2003|03:33pm] [ music | Fuel-Bad Day ] What is going on today? Nothing really but.......... I did get myself grounded for not telling my family where I was going to be, and I have done that before. So yeah. That is all I am going to say about that. My friend who has an eating disorder is now getting smaller and smaller. I remember last year when she was a pant size bigger (11-13) and now she has become 2 to 3 sizes smaller then me. I really don't know what to do anymore. I hate to see her waste into nothing, but lately she has been different, and distant with me. We have no classes together, or lunch. Only see each other at church, or when I go to her house which is like once every 3 months. Like I said she has been distant with me, holding back something, and thinks she can treat me like I am her bitch or something. I hate this shit. Sometimes I wish that I had never met her at all. Our friendship started out great and now it is a big pile of shit. So that is her and I don't know what to do about that. So if you have anything please tell me. Guess who is back... back again... if you guessed Tyler, you are correct. He has been talking to my sister for a while now. SO he is back in her life. I really don't care. Might sound cold and heartless, but I just don't want to talk to him again, and get all lil sister like or whatever on him again, just for him not to talk to me when he is not talking to my sister. That is a or the reason for him not talking to me before, because he was not in my sister's life. But that is cool, they are picking up where they "left" off I guess. Plus I really don't think that he would like to have me back. Why you might ask. Well I can't really answer that myself, but part of my thinks is because I am a teenager. My mother, little brother, and aunt chris are back in my life. I have seen them about every other weekend. My little brother is still a dork, but I love the nerd. He asks goofy around me and I hate it. I told my mother this and she said it is because he doesn't know how to act around his sis. I replied with "I am his older sis, not a celeb. Just act like we used to (minus the beating up on each other). My Aunt sis I guess is really happy to see my brother and I like she does now. It's cool to see her too. I am happy to see my mom again, and off drugs, but I can't help but think that this is only temporary. I am used to her being nice just before she falls back down again. Now lets see, how have I been? All right I guess you can say. Though I have found myself switching moods often at school. I now get angry and hurt faster some how this year (and yes it is over the stupidest shit). My two friends who have boyfriends are in "love". Watching that makes me want to vomit. I hate that word, love. Well when it comes to boys. I love my family, and they love me, but when it comes to boys.... I cannot see myself falling in love at all. I cannot also imagine a boy (and yes they are BOYS) falling in love with me. When I mean love I mean love. Not this stupid bull shit that people think and want to call love, but I mean real love. I am too young to be thinking about this shit, and like I said it makes me want to vomit, but maybe that is just me. Oh and another thing to add to the whole love thing.... okay well I guess it doesn't have to do with love, but the whole perfect person for everyone..... I also think that does not exist. A guy asked me that and I started to list what mine would be 1.) Instead of taking me out to a movie, I would rather be taken to a play. 2.) I don't want to go to a fancy little place for lunch, I would rather have him make a picnic in the park. Stupid crap like that.... and the guy kinda got quiet. Enough of the romance shit...... Art class is fucking awesome. I have to redo or copy a master piece. I picked Emil Nolde's Moonlit Night. It is a beautiful piece. I am doing it in chalk pastel. I picked this piece because of the cool colors. I mean this piece is in light blues, purple, greens, yellow, black. Ahhhh I love the colors.... I always find that I am drawn more to pieces with cool colors more than warm for some reason. I don't know why, maybe because for me I think I find peace.... maybe.... If I can find a picture of the piece I will post it in here. Bringing back the chalk pastel part..... I love to blend... and overlap colors, and push my media. Love it, and that is another reason I pick it. I have to find out more on Emil Nolde, and when I do.... I will post it on here. That is it for now.

Moonlight [24 Nov 2003|06:33pm] [ music | My sister talking like a red neck ] She walks amongst the forest, barely touching the ground. Walking through it quietly, not making any sound. She marvels at the moon, and wishes upon a star. That one day she can leave this place, maybe some day ride a shooting star. She sits under the moonlight, and prays to the God above. That he will hear her cry, give her something to love. But in the darken forest, where she is forced to be. She suffers from loneliness, and also from misery. The trees are her only frinds, the only ones who will listen. Knows everything about her, even the secerts she keeps within. She looks once more to the stars, and shefeels something growing. Wings magically appeared, without her even knowing. The wings are soft to the touch, and shine from the moonlight glow. Happiness overwhelms her, and now she knows. She can watch from the moon, and ride shooting stars. For now she is one, one with the stars.

2 % of the stupidity is shown here | To you Tyler, if you are even there. [24 Nov 2003|05:11pm] [ music | Fuel-Bad Day ] Do you remember the days when you would email me and tell me about your life? When you would be more then happy to inform me on what was going on. How you were doing? How your paintings,photos, and art work was doing? Do you remember when you would talk to me, and actually feel happy to be talking to me? When we would laugh at each other's stupid ass jokes? Then turn around and make another stupid ass joke? Then poke fun at anything that seemed interesting at the moment? Do you remember when all that stopped? Better yet how long it lasted? I can't recall, so I won't hold it against you if you do not, but wasn't that fun Tyler? Whatever happened to you, or was it me? What did I do to deserve this neglect? Why do you not like talking to me anymore? I try to fill you in with my life, and you shut me out. You've changed. Well maybe you haven't changed, maybe I just didn't get to know the real you. I am learning more and more about you everyday, even though WE are not talking, and I am confused as fuck, but I know that you do not care. For I am just a kid, but I needed to say this to someone, well something.

3 % of the stupidity is shown here | [10 Nov 2003|05:13pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | RealOnePLayer ] What has been going on with me? Nothing that interesting, but I still feel that I need to update. Everything is pretty much normal, besides I might bring home bad grades. And that is a no no. Church is fine. School is still boring. No one good to talk to is online for me to talk to. OH YEAH! I dyed my hair a dark red. Kinda looks purple, but it is awesome. My mother said that she gave Marlin the check for my college, which is hella cool. I just need to kick my ass to start doing my shit. Though if my grades are bad, my ass is going to be kicked. Tomorrow I get my pictures done with my nephew, which is going to be hella cool. Shiela doesn't get to do my make-up like a hoe anymore, because we are going in casual wear. Well that is about it.

2 % of the stupidity is shown here | [24 Oct 2003|01:40pm] [ mood | artistic ] [ music | Stained-all of 14 shades of gray ] I wrote this poem about 5 minutes ago. It so fits what is happening to me. All my friends coming to be with their bullshit drama expecting me to deal with it. SO I wrote this on their behalf. Go away with your bullshit drama, That you like to call life. All the shit you talk about, I don’t need in my life. All I hear is this petty shit, That you call important. The shit that I deal with, Is what is important. I deal with real struggles, While you fake yourself out. I know what I want in life, I know how to go about. And do the things, That I need to do. But you wrap yourself in this shit, And end up too weak to break through. So you come to me thinking I’ll listen, And you end up putting it all on me. Then it brings me down, And I think the fucked up person is me. When really that person is you, And you choose to deny it. You dig your hole deeper, Until it becomes your pit. But I cannot help you, I must help me. So take your fucking bullshit, And keep it away from me!

[16 Oct 2003|08:58pm] [ mood | chipper ] You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying. "And The Vampire was all that remained on the blood drowned creation. She attempted to regrow life from the dead. But as she was about to give the breath of life, she was consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the cycle began again." Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek) and Isis (Egyptian). The Vampire is associated with the concept of death, the number 9, and the element of fire. Her sign is the eclipsed moon. As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic individual. You may be a little idealistic, but you are very grounded and down to earth. You realize that not everything lasts, but you savor every minute of the good times. While you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you have strong ties with people that will never be broken. Vampires are the best friends to have because they are sensible. Which Mythological Form Are You? brought to you by Quizilla

3 % of the stupidity is shown here | [09 Oct 2003|10:40pm] [ mood | angry ] You know what I really am getting sick and tired of seeing everywhere? Girls obsessed with their image and starving themselves to the point of having nothing there but skin and bones. I am tired of this. It is wrong to starve yourself, and it is wrong to think it is okay. You people are sick, and you need help. Two of my friends have it. Do you know how scary it is, to know that someone you love, someone you care about, is just wasting away, dying slowly in front of your eyes? I am serious. Though I do not know what it is like to starve myself, but I do know the feeling of being imperfect. At time I am not happy with myself, but I do not stareve myself to nothing over it. I HATE the image society has put on women.

3 % of the stupidity is shown here | This says it all [27 Aug 2003|09:52pm]

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