Tina Toledo's Street Walkin' Blues' Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Tina Toledo's Street Walkin' Blues [ website | MEN-strual cramps are a serious problem, people. STOP LAUGHING!!! ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[02 Nov 2006|01:53am] [ mood | random ] ( Pretty Little Girl ) It's still summer somewhere and I think I better go there (Anywhere but here) This could be my last chance for me to change my life It's still summer somewhere and I really need to go there It's still summer somewhere and I'll get there... "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." - Dale Carnegie Just a random blog I came across: This is basically why I tended to make my own costumes. shake it, shake it, baby

Happappappy Hallowallowalloweeneeneeneen! [31 Oct 2006|07:06am] [ mood | spooky ] [ music | Have You Seen the Ghost of John (ROFL! yay!) ] I'm off to yet another party in about an hour -- I'm actually pretty sick of Halloween by now, and kind of just want to stay home and pass out candy to the ohhhh-so-adorable kids, but this is one party I have to go to. I should maybe limit my Halloween-related activities next year so I'm not ready to be done with it before the 31st even comes around. : ) These are the two gourds I began painting at FHE last night, but didn't get to finish... so I improvised with a black marker. Then the orange one rolled off the table and cracked. Sad story, I know. The white one is supposed to be a ghost... but the mouth ended up looking kind of like a cartoony dog's nose or something. I'm kind of sad about that... I wish I'd had a chance to finish painting with my friends; it was originally going to be a really cool (cartoony) person's face. But you gotta work with whatcha got, right? So here I present ( a dog's nose ghost, and orange (imitation pumpkin?) gourd. ) In case you're wondering... most people were carving pumpkins. I couldn't get a pumpkin because they were out, so I grabbed a butternut squash and spaghetti squash instead. I'd already planned on painting rather than carving (I'm totally anti-violence, even against pumpkins), which is a good thing, because I've never attempted carving a gourd before. Anyway, gotta go! Happy Halloween again. [copied from my MySpace bulletin because I'm lazy:] Have fun, and BE SAFE! Don't eat your dark clothes without reflective material, and be sure to check your candy before wearing it!!! ; ) 11 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

WATCH IT, PLEEEAAASE [31 Oct 2006|05:15am] [ mood | infatuated ] I have to share the awesome! I'm so in love with this music video, it's not even funny. (But if I were slightly less in love, it would be hilarious...) Click on the link to watch! I don't remember if it makes you register to be able to see it, but if it does, it's totally worth it. DOOOOO IT! Please. : ) Music Video:NOTHING'S GOING TO CHANGE YOUR MIND (by Badly Drawn Boy) Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com shake it, shake it, baby

today's therapy, FHE, and two new poems in the works [31 Oct 2006|03:25am] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | badly drawn boy <3 ] I had my first appointment with a new therapist today. Guess who I ran into in the waiting room. BRIE'S MOTHER. I knew she and her husband are also patients of Dr. K's (my psychiatrist, not the psychologist -- they're just in the same office), but it was still very awkward to run into her. I considered pretending like I didn't see her, because I don't know how Brie feels toward me now, and if it's negatively, I'm not sure if her parents would know that or what, but I'm a sucker who cares what people think of me... especially the parents of one of the best friends I've had. But anyway, of course I didn't pretend not to see her, and we chatted for a second, and I asked her to tell Brie I said hello. Hopefully she does... FHE was a pumpkin carving/painting activity, with yet another costume opp. I dressed as "white trash" this time. White outfit, white sheet over me with pieces of white trash attached... paper plates, crumpled napkins, cups, straws, etc. I painted two AWESOME gourds, had fun and stuff, but then for some reason when we went to Red Robin afterward, I got into this total funk, and the rest of the night was lousy. Well, until I got home and cried to my mommy about it. : P I miss... someone. Have some (still in progress, very rough) poetry. ( missing ) ( as long as it's light ) shake it, shake it, baby

heavy [26 Oct 2006|03:32am] [ mood | worn out ] [ music | oh it is love -- hellogoodbye ] I'm so tired. I don't mean physically. All of me -- my heart, my mind, my spirit -- are all just... tired. Appointment with a new therapist on Monday. I'm really really really looking forward to it. I can't wait to get rid of this. 2 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[25 Oct 2006|02:26am] [ music | mostly I just wanna show off this new icon. :D ] WHO THE CRAP IS Sage Francis?? Watch these. Uno. Dos. Anyway. Those made me laugh, especially the first one. I hate YouTube. Evil. 10 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

AMANDA: REMENBER THIS (haha, sorry, I had to!) [24 Oct 2006|06:29pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | the news ] SKYE: REMIND ME to tell you about Test Your Reflexes later. I've had them friended ever since you posted the entry about them on Blurty... and we were getting to be friends, but then I said something that I think scared them away, lol. So we need to talk soon! EVERYONE: REMIND ME to post the mail from the other bands, especially the funny ones! I'm so late to Institute. Or will be... I have half an hour to shower, get dressed, and get there. Makeup would be nice, but it's not looking like I even stand a CHANCE at having time for that. I'll be doing good to get clothes on (I'm in my bathing suit now), and look even slightly decent. Wish me luck. : P ♥ you! 1 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

lyrics post -- just stuff i like [24 Oct 2006|01:35am] [ music | The Other Side -- Nickel Creek ] You're the only one who can make my heart stand still I don't want to let you go... but I will - But I Will : Faith Hill I've never let anyone get this close I've always been afraid But you break down every wall and yet I feel so safe - Beautiful : FH ( Saturated : Kasey Chambers ) So I didn't mean to say it But I meant what I said Too long in the wasteland Too long in the wasteland Must have gone to my head - Too Long In the Wasteland : KC Face down in the dirt she says This doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough - Face Down : Red Jumpsuit Apparatus turn down the lights or no one can see you shining - Seventeen Ain't So Sweet : RJA 2 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

Non-entry #238405713894 [22 Oct 2006|12:50am] [ mood | none, or other ] [ music | I luff Plain White T's ] I haaaave to quit thinking about the past and just let it go. HAVE to. All of it. Just let... it... GO. And I need to get off the freaking internet. And stop saying "freaking". [edit: Yes, those are my lips, but yes, I also did something to them to make them look a little cartoony. Because I'm pretty sure people are getting tired of looking at pictures of me/my eyes/my lips... so I don't feel quite as bad if they look fake-ish. ha.] 4 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

Formal dance? Yeah, 'specially since I didn't go to my prom(s). [21 Oct 2006|12:56am] [ mood | beautiful ] [ music | Because Of You -- Kelly Clarkson (stuck in my head, bah) ] I feel like a princess! :D Too bad I have to get up so goshdang early in the morning (which is why I'm home already)... Princesses should get to sleep in. Poop. 4 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

Pure potential with no credentials... [20 Oct 2006|01:24am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | silence ] I'm pretty sure I was just propositioned by Nikki's friend Allan. I really have no idea, though. That's one reason I hatehatehate the term 'hooking up'!!! Everybody means it in a different way. Grrr. So for all I know he meant "let's hang out". Poor guy. On a completely different topic, I'm going to give you a fashion tip: Virtually nonexistent lips are hot. I'm serious. It's totally the "in" thing to not be able to see much of a lip... So y'all should try and make yours look thinner or something. So you can be cool. I'm naturally cool, because I was born with small lips. Thank goodness, or I might never fit in! (Thanks for the genes, Dad!) ( Five days ago I took my picture. ) Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. - Cass Daley Ha. Too true. I know WHY, but it still sucks. : P [edit: I looooove how I can make icons and not realize until I upload them to Blurty how perfect they are for my journal layout! Total accidents, but AWESOME accidents. Like my current one. Go to my journal and check out how well it coordinates with my color scheme!!! I hadn't even planned that. Or my new tree icon would look good there, too. Again, totally coincidental. The eye one isn't one I made with the intention of using as a default, so it doesn't matter that it would look lousy on my journal. The other two, though, I was very fond of, so I hoped they'd look decent so I could maybe use them for defaults. And they do! At least I'm rad at something.] 6 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

Attempt to keep this entry emotion-free [18 Oct 2006|01:37am] [ music | Through Glass -- Stone Sour ] No, seriously. [Notice I said ATTEMPT... I'm trying to leave my days of unfulfilled promises behind.] - I HATEHATEHATE going someplace and coming out stinking like smoke. Nasty. I had to go home and change, that's how bad it was. Cigarette smoke gives me a headache, and stale smoke lingering in my clothes is just not cool. - Institute is the best thing ever invented, ever. - Shawn is spending a lot of time here again, and it's causing problems. For me, I mean; nobody else knows. - Aliza just saw the vet and she's in the early stages of kidney failure. :( [No! An emoticon does not count as emotion... Ahem.] - I hate D. Looking at his picture makes me want nothing more than to punch him in the face. HARD. - I HAVE A HIVE ON THE BOTTOM OF MY FOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you know how absolutely infuriatingly disgusting hives are?? Well I do. Now, because of experience. Definitely NOT what a woman needs to feel sexy. - Things are going to get better. I am not always going to be this screwed up. I just hope I can wait that long... Having said that: I wish I had a reason; My flaws are open season For this, I gave up trying Ahhhh, too close to emotionizing. Sorry. : P : ) - Scottage is one of my favorite people ever. He's the kind of guy who makes up for scuzz like D. being in this world. His band, Paper Blue, is ultra-rad. Here's an example of ( the kind of joy they bring to my MySpace bulletin board. ) The second line of the song makes me laaaauuuuugh, and that's just reading it! It's so good. But even better than The Witch is the-- ah, crap, they took it down!!! Oh well, listen to Hot Chocolate!!!!!! It's addictive, seriously. You'll find yourself singing it five days from now and wondering how the crap it got in your head. Let's share a cup You can have the whipped cream No really, you can have it I don't like whipped cream Sarah's funeral is tomorrow [in the] morning. Not looking forward to that. 'Night, loves. 8 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[16 Oct 2006|05:30pm] I've been trying to carry things alone -- well, at least learning to "cast my burdens upon the Savior", instead of whining and making all of my concerns, sorrows, problems, etc. public like I tend to looove to do. And it's been working great, for the most part. I've been able to have comfort and peace enough to not be the usual mess that I am, maintaining at least a shred of composure a lot more often than I ordinarily would/have done/do. All of that changed today, both the composure and the carrying things alone as far as being more private goes. It's kind of funny that it happened today, when ( yesterday is when I found out. ) I have to say, while I have the most fantastic r.l. friends ever, there have been many times that my Blurty/online friends have really come through for me and given me what I needed, and today was one of those times. Lauren listened to me spill my guts over the course of a thousand texts (would've called but I was still at work -- I'm sure that bawling in the bathroom is exactly what they pay me for...) (not to mention she wouldn't have been able to understand me, anyway), comforted me, and was basically awesomer than awesome. ♥ I returned to work feeling like a moron for having yet another day of psychoticality. Which is definitely a word. And yet again, the entry I had planned goes unwritten in favor of an emo post... I have FHE soon, but I just got a phone call from Erin, crying because something's wrong with Doug, and I'm kind of worried because I know he's been super depressed. Like, I know he didn't commit suicide or anything, but he's not okay. Soooo I'll at least have that to take my mind off my own feelings and junk. I think we're going to FHE, but we're gonna sit on the sidelines and talk instead of playing the games/sports they have planned. I love you guys. All of you. ♥ Sincerely, The Emo Drama Queen of the Century 7 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

Friday the 13th in October? Spoooooky [13 Oct 2006|08:23am] [ mood | poop. poop poop poop! ] [ music | Remind Me -- Royksopp <3 ] Paraskevidekatriaphobia: fear of Friday the 13th I think it's funny that the word for fear of Friday the 13th doesn't have "Fridaythe13th" in the word. : | I'm still sad I couldn't come up with anything super-scary to do tonight. I don't wanna do the corn maze tonight... I think I'll probably end up at a dance/party/something lame like that. Boo. And BOO!, too. : P [Thanks to Em for providing me with the words to describe my mood, in a conversation we had years ago.] Update @ 6:57 PM: I'm sure you're all relieved to know that I now have awesome plans for my Friday the 13th, including a scary movie about RAMPANT RATS (rofl -- three bucks at Wal-Mart, and it's not rated R, so I can watch it! You know it's gonna be scary...), a spooky game of DVD Clue, root beer floats, and really rad people. And I am very happy. :D I need to write a real entry! But I'm trying to resist the pull of Blurty somewhat... So far, not doing so good. Do I ever, when I have that goal? Anyway. Off to my fun night! ♥ 4 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[11 Oct 2006|01:34am] I am so so so so grateful to be alive. Note to self: Mosiah 2:9-26 [particularly 20-24] shake it, shake it, baby

[10 Oct 2006|05:41am] [ music | Disappear -- Hoobastank ] It takes talent to thoroughly piss off and/or hurt three of the people you love most in the world within a time span of less than 36 hours. Please, if I've left you out somehow and you haven't had reason to be upset with me recently, let me know so I can fix that for you. Apparently I'm determined to screw up my relationships with everyone. The fact that one of the three people was simply taking her frustration/anger about a situation in her life out on me is irrelevant. So is the fact that the third person is angry for a reason I can't make sense of... There's obviously something I'm doing to cause everyone to be pissed/irritated/not very fond of me, so maybe I just need to try a teeeeny bit harder and make sure I cover everyone who loves me (or whom I love). Ha. My horoscope says: Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20) You may be less certain about your decisions now, especially if someone judges you rather harshly. Instead of overreacting and withdrawing from social interactions, push through any negative feelings that may be contributing to your lack of confidence. Dang right I'm less than certain about my decisions right now! But you want me to NOT withdraw to keep myself from screwing up even worse? I don't think so. I woke up from some terrifying nightmares an hour or two ago, the last of which was partially about Brie... I hope she's doing okay. I hope she knows I still love her. I hope she's able to at least KIND of understand why I didn't choose to resume our friendship, even though I care about her immensely and miss her often... This time of year especially makes me think of her. I feel achy and hollow and burning and empty and full. And now I have to go back to sleep for awhile so I can make it through the day... Hopefully the nightmares are already all played out, and I can sleep dreamless this time. 4 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[09 Oct 2006|09:10am] [ music | the Hoveround song (you maaaaade me love yooouuu!) ] Who is Josh Hancock? Er, I mean... why should he send the Reds some diet pills? That confuses me. I hate that I don't understand myself much, and seemingly never will. But even more than that, I hate that I understand myself a little bit. I'd rather it be all or nothing. No glimpses into the inner workings of my heart, if I can't make COMPLETE sense of them, and especially if I can't immediately change things. I don't like realizing that I'm manipulative, selfish, and inconsiderate, instead of being able to continue thinking that I'm simply acting on obvious desires or motivations. I very strongly dislike it, in fact. If I can't change that fact and be a good person RIGHT NOW, I'd rather be blissfully ignorant of the fact that I'm not. I'm breaking out in hives again. Still taking the Zyrtec, so I shouldn't be, but I am. I know it's because of emotional crap, too, which makes it all the dumber. My mind and heart wreak enough havoc on me; my body shouldn't feel the need to join in! I have a conundrum that I don't know how to solve, or even whether I should attempt to... or just wait it out. Bah. Love you guys. P.S. Jake, if you're actually reading this, my friends said you should get a Blurty, and I agree. Doooo it! 2 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

I split the other entry -- this is the lyrics/quiz part that you may've already read [05 Oct 2006|02:23am] ( All About Soul -- Billy Joel ) I want to be that kind of woman... I wanna have that kind of love. I've never even heard that song and yet already I love it. Billy Joel is absolutely wonderful. WHYYYYY must people put bad language in their music when I love it so much?? The music, not the language. She Wants Revenge would be my musical lovers (at least in some of their songs) if not for the swearage. ( Bah. [edited to my liking] ) Aaand to balance it out with some entirely useless stuff, ( some quiz-type thingers. ) Who NAMES boobs, anyway?? Oh yeah... That's right. *smirk* 3 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

My maybe love who wouldn't even try... (long non-entry) [05 Oct 2006|02:12am] [ mood | ugh. I feel ick. :( ] [ music | various, courtesy of MySpace - I'm finalllllly addicted :( ] Alright, so this isn't quite as good as the really useful, inspirational, awesomely hopeful and uplifting quote entry that Elle posted recently (and that wasn't sarcasm -- I haven't commented, but I needed that entry, Lauren!! ♥) but it's for me, and I just figured I'd keep it public because... well, because. So have some quotes and lyrics. "Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be." - Carrie, SATC You have no idea how much I shudder to be quoting anything from that trashy piece-of-crap show, and I liked the quote soooo much better before I learned where it was from... but because the truth in it is something that I need to remember, I'm biting my distaste back and including it. [Lest you think I am quoting it from having seen it myself, no. I found it online in the midst of a bunch of non-SATC quotes, then had to go hunt down who said it. Sneaky.] "Life must be understood backwards; but... it must be lived forward." - Soren Kierkegaard Honestly, I had no idea what that meant when I first read it. But now I have a theory... I guess maybe just that you need to look at the past and learn from it, but move forward without letting it hold you back. That's basically the most essential lesson I need to learn in my life right now. Not just learn that the concept is true, but learn to apply it. Any suggestions on how to do this? "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." - Leonardo da Vinci ^ Another truth I already know that I still need to learn to actually apply to my life. "I still can't believe that people I know, my peers, are making babies. I'm too lazy to make a salad." - Hellura Lyle <--- Self-explanatory... :D "They say such nice things at funerals that it makes me sad to realize I'm going to miss mine by just a few days." - Garrison Keillor <--- Also self-explanatory... and funny. If I make the lashes dark and the eyes more bright and the lips more scarlet, Or ask if all be right, from mirror after mirror, no vanity's displayed: I'm looking for the face I had before the world was made. - W.B. Yeats 4 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[02 Oct 2006|10:00am] [ mood | I <3 my mom ] [ music | Bob Barker, my lover ] My mom [watching The Price is Right, directing her comments at the TV]: Lady, you don't deserve to win on the wheel. Me: Why doesn't she deserve to win? My mom [completely serious]: Because she played the game stupid. Me [laughing]: I hope you don't mind, but that's going in my blog. My mom [looking startled]: Your what?? shake it, shake it, baby

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