Tina Toledo's Street Walkin' Blues' Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Tina Toledo's Street Walkin' Blues [ website | MEN-strual cramps are a serious problem, people. STOP LAUGHING!!! ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

Not that anyone reads this anymore, but just in case... [05 Mar 2007|01:11am] [ mood | jubilant ] [ music | I Spy - Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly ] First of all, that prize I won is turning out to be awesome, even though I was limited in what I got to choose from ($300 doesn't cover a whole lot at this place). I'm pretty sure I'm doing this skin rejuvination facial thing. The aesthetician there is young, cute, and fun. Her name's Cheska, which I find interesting. I kind of like it. I think. [And I'm a name freak, if you didn't know that.] Anyway, yay for winning prizes in contests! Speaking of contests... Okay, so remember this entry? Well I checked the website today and I MADE IT TO THE TOP TEN!!!!!!! I'M ON THE WEBSITE FOR VOTING!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even explain to you how happy this makes me!!! I told myself that I'd be content just to make it that far (and honestly, even if I lose this next part by a bajillion votes, I'll still feel awesome about the whole thing), but I can't help it; I want to win. Or at the very least, I want to get to the next stage where I get to compete against the other winners. Soooo, I thought I'd whore myself out and see if I can get anybody to vote. I'm not going to ask you to vote for me, UNLESS you honestly sincerely feel that my song sounds the best out of the ten contestants. [To be completely honest, there's one person that I really think should win, out of the ten of us... but I still hope I do! I'm selfish!] But anyway, if you want to help me out by participating, please please please GO HERE TO VOTE!!! You can vote multiple times, by refreshing the page (I discovered that by accident, lol), but if you don't feel that's honest, that's totally understandable. I kind of don't... I mean, I don't want people to go and flood the votes, because then how am I even supposed to feel good about my actual singing? But if I really face the facts, at this point, it's largely a popularity contest, aka "who can get their friends and family to vote the most" -- which explains why some of the previous winners won when there were some incredibly talented people competing against them! Kind of irks me, but whatever. That's one reason I want to get to the next stage and compete live. Then it'd DEFINITELY be about the singing. Anyway, what are you waiting for?? Go vote! Please and thank you. :D I'll love you forever and ever. ♥ ♥ ♥ P.S. Just as a disclaimer, I honestly didn't do very well with that song. I did it an octive too low for my voice; at certain parts you can really tell. But the problem is, if I'd done it an octive higher, it would've been too HIGH for my voice at certain parts. So whatever, I'll try again this week with a different song. But I had to point that out in case you've never heard me sing before. : P 13 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

BW3 + French Boy goes home [02 Mar 2007|01:29am] [ mood | still in awe ] [ music | I Don't Paint Myself Into Corners -- Trisha Yearwood ] I'm such a mixed ball of emotions right now. And since Emily (my therapist) is out of town for awhile, there are two whole weeks between my last and next appointments. (I typically go every Monday.) To make sure I didn't have any time to fall backward, she gave me a crapload of "homework" to do. Yeah, definitely keeping me busy, Emily, thanks. Buuut it's a good thing. Today I went to Body World 3. If you ever have the opportunity to go to this thing, GO! I'm serious. It's mind-blowing. It was sooo fantastic. Wow. I mean... wow. This is the Body World homepage... ...but this is the site of the AZ Science Center, where the exhibit is housed. I think it does a better job at showing you a little of what I saw, although it doesn't NEARLY do it justice!!! This also came up in my Google results, and it's a really interesting (and somewhat scary) site about plastic surgery. :S Anyway, Body World 3 is FREAKING INCREDIBLE, and if you ever have the chance, you MUST go see it!!! ( Now with cut-tag for your convenience! ) Aaaanyway, for the most part, it was just an incredibly educational, awe-inspiring experience. I'd love to write more about it, because I did have plenty I wanted to say about the quotes they had up on the walls, the art history tidbits, etc., not to mention the cancer-riddled organs and stuff... but, well, right now I don't know that I want to write about the cancer part of things. No, not right now. Suffice it to say, it was a completely phenomenal experience, and I'd really like to go again someday. They'll have added new people by the time it comes here again, and plus, I wanna see it when I don't have to be constantly checking the clock to make sure I get home in time. I should've allotted more time for BW3, but I didn't realize I was going to want to linger at every single display and memorize all the factoids and stuff. lol As it was, I baaaarely made it out of there in time. I had to get home for Symeon to pick me up in time to get to the movie. We (finally) saw Night at the Museum, and frankly, I was kind of disappointed with it. It was cute, and had some really funny parts, but I don't know... I guess I just had higher expectations for it since it was Ben Stiller. My mistake. But we had fun, and I learned more French, and Symeon pointed out that he's leaving in nineteen days! to go back to France. So he wants to pack in a whole bunch of stuff over the next couple of weeks. We'll see how much we can stand of each other, though. : P That is all. You are dismissed. = ] 4 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[28 Feb 2007|07:26pm] [ mood | gleeful ] [ music | I Like to Live on the Edge -- from that car commercial ] Rofl, yaaay! I love this kinda thing. Little things really do make me happy: I entered a couple of sweepstakes on a whim last night; it took like two seconds and I didn't even really know what the prizes were or anything... I just got a phone call telling me I won third prize from this spa! LOL, it's not even something I can probably use (because a $300 gift certificate to this place probably won't even cover a whole product/treatment), but it still makes me laugh that I won a prize at all. :D I am holding out a teeeny bit of hope, though, that I'll be able to use it, because I've always wanted to go to a spa and have some pampering done, but it's soooo expensive, and I can't even splurge a little bit right now. In any case, I'm going there Friday to see what it's all about. haha. Funny. Also, I reeeeaaaaally wish I knew where I could get the whole thing of this song that's on this Edge car commercial. The song makes me happy, and I always end up walking around the house singing it after I see that commercial. ♥ 9 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[27 Feb 2007|05:55am] [ mood | nope ] [ music | You Steal My Sunshine is stuck in my head ] That's it. *I'm putting my foot down. And soon it will feel good. : ] *WHY do people say they're putting their foot down? Are all these people standing around with one foot in the air until they say that?? 4 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

lots of randumbness -- haha! I think I'm funny for calling it that!!! [22 Feb 2007|05:52am] [ mood | self-indulgent ] [ music | the contestants in this coooontest ] I really want to play Tetris right now. I also really am craving a cherry popsicle. The two of them together would be splendid. ♥ ...although, I don't suppose I'd do very well on the Tetris if I were holding a popsicle... Yes, this is a perfectly normal desire to wake up to, so shut your pie-hole. Mmm, pie... (No, I don't want to eat some right now, but it made me want to SAY that. It makes sense, trust me.) My M. babies are coming this weekend -- YAY!!!! -- and I have a LOT to do to help my parents. Soooo it's pretty much gonna suck hard that I stayed out late, and even more that what sleep I did get wasn't good sleep. That's the breaks, though, huh? I should know by now to allow five hours extra for my allotted sleeping time, to hopefully make up for all the... problems? I'm having. If I can make it through the hard stuff [in therapy], I'll eventually not only get back to sleeping semi-decently, I'll probably be able to start actually sleeping well, so I've just gotta hold onto that. Speaking of sleep, sleep disorders are freaking SCARY sometimes! My brother about frightened the poop outta me with his tonight. Eeesh. If I hadn't known what it was, I would have seriously freaked. ( I'm gonna be calling in to sing for this dumb little phone-in singing contest... ) Edit: Ooh! I just saw that I have six (or maybe seven? I'm too tired to think it out) chances to enter!!! The contest will be going until the end of March, and I can enter one song per week. So give me multiple ideas! Shut Up and Drive? You Will Be Mine? I'm the Only One? Beatles songs! ANYTHING? lol, I don't have any clue! I think I'll have a better idea of what I should sing once I listen to more of the entries, see what kind of variety there is. Right now I'm listening to the winner of week three, and he's decent, but eh. I've heard better. So maybe this IS small-time enough for me to stand a chance! I'm not expecting to win the whole stinking thing, but just getting the top number of votes for one week would be awesome!!! So yeah. Ideas? shake it, shake it, baby

my results on Fastcupid (used to be Blurty Personals) [19 Feb 2007|01:42am] [ mood | amused ] My Account > Profile Details > My Personality Quiz ( Personality Type for hotmonkeylovin ) shake it, shake it, baby

Don't click on the first one, only the second! [17 Feb 2007|08:46am] [ mood | *shudder*/laughing ] [I don't like the way this one makes me feel one bit.] I'm serious. UCK. [I really, really like the way this one makes me feel.] Yay! This is why I love stupid people. ♥ shake it, shake it, baby

[15 Feb 2007|01:34am] After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. You begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and after a while, you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. You learn that you really can endure that you really are strong, and that you really do have worth. - Veronica A. Shoffstall That's something I've been meaning to find the author of for a long time, and now I have. I need to learn to follow this advice. shake it, shake it, baby

V-day loooove, therapy, Pops, &... well, that's all, I guess. [12 Feb 2007|06:37pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | Burnin' Love -- Elvis, duh ] Laaaaast chaaaance! ; ) Get your own valentinr Figured I might as well pimp myself out, since everybody else is... NOT THAT I NEED IT!!! Ahem. : P Therapy is going well. Painful, but good. Can we just fast-forward five months, though, and be healthy? (Or healthyish... I'd settle for semi-healthy!) Daddy was in a serious car wreck yesterday. That sucked, to say the least. For him, obviously, but I mean it sucked to get the text message from Mom while I was at church, since I knew she wouldn't text me during church unless it was important. Reading the first few words, "Dad's been in a car accident", just about made my heart stop. Seriously. He's alright, just minor injuries, but the couple that hit him are hurt pretty badly. In fact, I'm not sure the woman made it. :( They were in their eighties, it was their fault, and my dad was in a van while they were in a little car. : \ If you're the praying sort, would you please say a little prayer for them? Even if she lived, they were NOT in good shape, and they're gonna need blessings for sure. I'd appreciate it. ♥ FHE now. It's a dating game. I love these things; they're hilarious. {Like a game show, I mean, not... whatever.} I really love Valentine's Day. I'm sure you didn't know that. I DO. I LOVE IT. And that's not sarcasm. x♥x♥ 4 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

If you're not tired of me yet... you will be soon. [08 Feb 2007|01:14am] [ mood | sick and dizzy ] [ music | Boys Will Be Boys -- Goldfrapp (oh how appropriate...) ] ( You're invited to a pity party! ) 6 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[07 Feb 2007|08:12pm] [ mood | crushed/PISSED @ myself ] I don't know why I fool myself into ever thinking this could possibly change. I don't know WHY I ever think I can be normal, and just forget about the crap that happened or didn't happen or may have happened and just BE NORMAL, or even semi-normal. I'm just holding out for something that must be unattainable. I'm so sick of feeling broken, and I hate hating anyone with a penis, and I'm so sick of hurting others because of it. And I'm never making the mistake of looking at my 'memories' section here again. Does anybody know how I can get away from ME?? ( I totally understand, Pink ) shake it, shake it, baby

Weak weak weak (for updating, I mean) [03 Feb 2007|03:07am] [ mood | sleepy ] This song gets me EVERY single time... So go listen to it. But I have to warn you: you WILL cry. At least you will unless you're completely heartless! Eh, so maybe two of the ten I know read this will cry. Haha. If it's too much trouble for you to go to the page and listen to the song (it should be the first one that plays, but in case they change their songs, it's called 'Moments'), at least ( read the lyrics. ) While you're there, you should also listen to Fall Into Me. It's a song I used to dream someone would dedicate to me someday, before I fell in love with a guy who doesn't like country. : P ( Here's a piece, just in case you don't obey my command that you listen to the song ) I love Seth. And yes, I know it's pretty sickening. I get sicked out about it myself. Ooey gooey mushy gushy sitting-in-a-tree l.o.v.e is something I still kind of think was only meant for other people... but here I am. It's moving day for Beth and Cody today, and I promised I'd go out to Mesa and help. I have to be up by seven, and I will be doing manual labor allllll day. Why the CRAP am I awake right now, is a good question. I'm glad you asked it. Unfortunately, I have no answer for that. Except that I was busy working on my skills, I guess. [David: skills being what you saw evidenced in the post I linked you to.] I once got a fortune cookie that said, "Your winsome smile will be your sure protection." Ha! My smile is winsome! How 'bout that? I'm going to bed, where I know I'll be safe, as long as I keep smiling. Love yous! ♥ 1 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

"I [blame] you... Aladdin." [02 Feb 2007|04:00pm] [ mood | unhealthy ] [ music | All the Color Green -- Peter Breinholt ] This is for one reason, and one reason only... We'll see what comes of it, though -- I like dorky things like this. : ] FYI, Valentine's Day is still one of my favorite holidays, in spite of everyone else in the world being a complete SCROOGE about it. What can I say? I love love. Any kind, not just romantic. ♥ shake it, shake it, baby

[31 Jan 2007|08:56pm] "Faith is not a feeling; it is action. It is a willed choice." - Elisabeth Elliott 2 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

Daddy/Santa Claus [22 Dec 2006|09:25pm] [ mood | mushy ] [ music | Mary Had a Little Lamb (of God) -- Garth Brooks ] There's a certain radio personality who asked people to write in letters about their favorite holiday memories. My sister decided to write in about something that happened several years ago, that affected our whole family (in a very good way). Then she had me edit/revise it, which means it's written by both of us. I'll warn you now, it's super sappy, and not the best writing, but you'll have to forgive us -- we were both bawling the entire time we worked on it. If you knew my dad, this would be a lot more striking to you... ( my/my sister's favorite Christmas memory ) Honestly, I think this is when my respect for my father really began to grow into what it is now: a huge mass of emotional awe for everything he is and has done and continues to do for people, both his family/friends and complete strangers. And I love and respect my mom just as much, because she would've done the same thing, and completely supported my dad in his choice. We pretty much all knew that about my mom already... but I think our whole family learned a lot about our dad that year. He spent many years being the tough cop, hiding his soft heart beneath the tough exterior. Now we know better... and it's awesome. : ) 1 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

Happy Thanksgiving, guys : ) [21 Nov 2006|04:47pm] [ mood | festive ] [ music | Thanksgiving music. Okay, you got me, it's Christmas music. ] If you know where I got the original pic from, please pretend you don't... and just admire my work in making it mine. Haha. ( Cut because it's kinda big. ) shake it, shake it, baby

If you ever wanna see me mad... just mention this to me. [09 Nov 2006|01:17pm] [ mood | furious ] [ music | harder better faster -- daft punk ] I can't even tell you how badly this pisses me off. Not at the person who wrote it. Just... the situation. The facts that brought this article about. The people who have caused the incomprehensible pain of so many others, including at least eleven of my friends. And most of all, at the moment, the monsters who raped my sister. 6 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[08 Nov 2006|04:36pm] [ mood | peaceful ] [ music | Far Away -- Nickelback ] It was ninety degrees yesterday, and warm again today. JT's not hibernating... Go figure. I have lots of busy-ness ahead of me, so I won't be around a whole lot, just to warn you. Might pop onto MySpace sometimes, though, so maybe you'll see me there. Love you guys. Oh yeah, and a quote in honor of yesterday: "An election is coming. Universal peace is declared and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry." - T.S. Eliot shake it, shake it, baby

Emotional vomit [07 Nov 2006|04:09am] PREFACE (written after the entry): I realize that entries like this tend to be seen as pleas for attention, sympathy, reassurance, etc. In this case, it's meant to serve as two things: first, an explanation to someone (or two someones, perhaps), and second, an attempt to sort out of my thoughts and feelings, because there was no way I could keep up with this in my paper journal. My hand was cramping up big-time. So please don't assume I'm looking for anything -- comment or don't, I won't be offended or hurt or whatever. Promise. You have no idea how ironic it is to me that my name means "loveable/worthy of love"... because that's the one thing that I've struggled to believe my entire life. And because of it, I hurt other people. I tell myself I'm trying to "protect them" from me... but how much worse could it be if I let them continue to be a friend to me than it is to keep them from being my friend?? It's not like I don't let them in at all; that would be forgiveable. Oh no, I wait until they're close to me, care about me, and are confusing the CRAP outta me by loving me in spite of my stupidity/ugliness/worthlessness/the myriad other reasons I'm "unlovable" -- and then I push them away. Because they're obviously confused to think I'm worth having as a friend... See how that works? ( Yeah, me neither. ) I'm going to bed. If you hate me, I'm sorry. If you love me still... I'm even sorrier. Because that means there's a chance you'll still be around to suffer the next time I go crazy. This therapist I'm seeing gets back into town on the 12th, though, and I get to see her on the 14th. I just figured out some stuff writing this entry. More about who "raped" me (in quotations because it was what they've termed emotional rape, not physical), and how it's still affecting me, as well as some more reasons I think I'll never deserve anyone's love. The retardedest thing about ALL of this is that I know it's all bullcrap. All. Bull. Crap. And yet my brain is determined to hang onto some of it. I'd been planning on posting pictures earlier, and I guess seeing as how I'm feeling entirely neutral on myself, looks and otherwise, I might as well do it now in a separate entry. Compliment me, insult me, say whatever you like while I'm numb. They're from Halloween, mostly -- before going out, though, so I wasn't in costume. And if you ask me what I went as, I might tell you, but I might not. It depends on how I'm feeling. In my own screwy, convoluted way... I really do love you guys. I hope you can believe that even if my actions say otherwise sometimes. 5 boogied down| shake it, shake it, baby

[06 Nov 2006|04:56pm] [ mood | happy, then sad, then happy ] "Live your life as though there is great joy to be experienced... an abundance of goodness in each person you come in contact with, and the knowledge that you have enough inner wisdom to answer the mysteries that challenge you. " - Meladee McCarty "We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon." - Paula Poundstone I'm making some pretty good strides as far as the first quote goes, and the second one applies to me and makes me laugh, so that's why these are in here. [edit: Oh crap. I totally lost track of time and it's now 6:42. FHE starts at 7. I'm nowhere NEAR ready. Oooops!!! Gotta run, but I'll post what I was gonna post in this entry later.] shake it, shake it, baby

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]