Monday, August 2nd, 2004

Time	Event
9:19p	When you can do all the planning, but still not in control I had an interesting conversation with Mel last Sunday afternoon, before I met up with my beloved s23 frenz for a mass bdae celeb and fireworks gazing complete with bumming in Mrs Fields after that. I asked if she has seen any change in me in all these years she's known me. For some background info, Mel is a fren who knew me 10 years ago, through NPCC. She's seen me through my peaks, my rise to power, and perhaps not really my fall from grace. Anyhow, back to the point. Me: Do you notice the change in me? Her: You're very involved (in church). Us: *duh* Her: Your temper. She hit the nail right on. Me being the proud intellectual, who believed in wholesome power (power is power if you have total control, without it, there is simply no power), tend to flare up when things get out of hand. She's seen me when 8 tiny gals turned up for NPCC, when the total number is 36. She's seen me fall out with the bureaucracy, the power in NPCC when I still have yet gotten my wings. And when I flare, I don't care who you are. I just flare. Now? Totally tamed. Haha. Amazing. And such character change doesn't come from self. After all, it's always been argued that personality change, but character is the core of your being? Indeed. So obviously my change was supernaturally altered. Many tell me religion is a mental support... for the weak who feel that they need to have something to cling on. So i'm really glad I got to know Jesus when I was not at my weakest. *grin* For I understood one thing after this many years (ok, say abt 2) as a Christian, that no matter how good you are, no matter how wonderfully equipped with the Sun Tzi Art of War tactics you are, no matter how well you can plan, you are still not in control. When I understood that, I let go of my need to have total control, and the world fell at peace with me. For I am in the world as the world is in me (sounds Zen right), because God created the world just as He created me. Amen. Current Mood: thoughtful (3 Comments | Comment on this)
9:32p	Updates You know that your birthday is near when: 1) People wish you happy bdae even though it's not your bdae; 2) You receive bdae cards and gifts; 3) People make appointments to meet you even though they don't see you for most of the year; 4) More than 2 pple ask within the span of 24 hours what do you want for your birthday. Anyway, regarding gifts, don't buy because you're obliged to lar. I've outgrown that phase. If you don't feel like it, then pls dun. :-) My first gift of the year - MP3 player, courtesy of Min and s23! And since it's got such a hefty price tag, I've nominated wu bang pai to chip in as well (poki, kindly convey the msg when it's convenient, no need specifically tell them. hehe). Hmm.. And today was a special day. I was in office, same seat as an intern, but in the capacity of a client service executive. Spent most of the time clearing the mess I left as an intern, and clearing my successor's mess. And finally, I'm ready. :-) As of tomorrow onwards, these 2 wks' lunch breaks will be spent observing focus groups. How exciting. I'm so happy today, around 5pm, for I read an sms that told me that my buddy is joining me in the same company! YEAH!!!! *prances around* I've already thought of where to bring her for the welcome lunch when I met Serene for lunch last Friday (b4 interview results were out). HEE! Welcome aboard! Current Mood: happy (3 Comments | Comment on this)

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