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| 04:25am 06/04/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: none..silence! RAWR!
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hey ppl sorry for no updates..i'll update more later... -pynky *poof* gather my pynky dustz!$!@#$!@# |
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| rhrmmm |
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| 12:28am 04/04/2004 |
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hey pplz im not dead..jus now got a new comp...ima try to keep this journal updated....if n e of u have a greatest journal add me to it tho.....www.greatestjournal.com my user name on there is xpynk_tragedyx yeap.......n e way i'll try to do a better update on here later -pynky *poof* gather my pynky dustz |
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| survey sez! |
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| 01:22am 16/02/2004 |
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mood:  bored music: tv....ugh
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Name: Carrie What time is it: 1:03 am
THE FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR( things you can't live without)
Something important on your desk: uhm my ciggz hahaha
When you sleep you wear: boxerz/pj pants and a tshirt
If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy: a brand fuckin new car, a new computer, a house....tha list goes on and on
Something you don't have a lot of: MONEY
If your house was burning and you could only save 3 items what would they be: uhm my poetry book, my cat taetum, and my puter
MORALS
If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to: haha weed...
A time when you purposly hurt someone emotionally: i hope i've never done that?
A time you accidentally hurt someone emotionally: -shrugz- u tell me?!
One person you have killed in your thoughts: haha jesse a long time ago....but i wouldnt ever do that lol she is like a sister to me...even tho she useta be trifiling lol
FRIENDS:
Three traits you look for in a friend: trust....honesty....compassion
Who makes you laugh most often: jesse
A friend who you can tell anything: cassie
A friend you can got to for advice: jess and cass
The best piece of advice you had been given: "carrie ur gonna go thur alot of changes over these next few years...ur gonna try out alot of thingz try to find urself..in the end ur gonna come back to who u are now...just better, ur a great person" teehee an old friend
Two closest friends: daniel and cassie
The friend who uses most of your energy: SAMANTHA! i hafta try to get that girl to behave so much she is so bahd
EGO
Your 3 best qualities: i listen, i care, and im pretty trustworthy
Your 3 worst qualities: my ocd, my depression, and im pessimistic
Describe your Ideal self: uhm i guess i am at it...my quirks make me unique! wee
A compliment that makes you blush: when ppl think im smart or pretty haha
You are embarassed when: my mom talks about how i was when i was little lol
The greatest physical pain you ever endured: i guess when i had my appendix removed and i was so sore for so long..i couldnt drive or nothin they expected me to lay in bed for a month shiiiiiiiiit it didnt werk
The greatest emotional pain you ever endured: losing my best friend david
Moment you are most ashamed of: *edit* i try to delete that frum my mind everytime i think of it....les jus say i was 14...stupid and experimental *edit*
Your best physical feature: my eyes
Who/What makes you happy: tha ppl i love, and trust! and honesty~
Who/what makes you sad: ppl who arent honest.....ppl who try to bring u down...etc..etc..
EMOTIONS
Emotion you hide most: saddness.....disappointments in myself......anger
The emotion you tend to experience most: idiotic laughter lol
The emotion you are feeling most lately: uhm mostly happy or tired?
You have a huge amount of guilt regarding: my mom
When you are angry you need: a cigg....n lots of deep breaths an someone to calm me down
When you are sentimental you need: a pen and paper or to open notepad on my comp an write
When you are in love you need: my beeb!!!!! hehe and i write about that too weee
MEMORIES
One of your most peaceful memories: being saved
One of your most tragic memories: david passing..
One of you angriest memories: my ex threating to kill me and meaning it
A memory that makes you laugh: goin to taco bell with sherri in her broke down station wagon to get food with 10 dolla in pennies and tha ppl laughin so hard they didnt even count it and jus sed they believed us lol
a memory that makes you happy: daniel proposing
LOVE
Something someone can say or do that you find extremely attractive: hrmm touch my face when they kiss me....for some reason i like that
Something someone can say or do that you find unattractive: talk about bangin u nonstop and thinkin they can bone u cuz they are full of their selves..i hate ppl like that
Two things appealing about people: how they are with their family and friends...
A personality trait you find appealing: comedy
Your secret passion: i would love to be a professional write of poetry and song lyrics muwahaha
What you enjoy most about having a committed relationship: the feeling i get when i think of him....the way i can smell him without him being here....that feeling in my gut i get.....how excited i get when i see him and i just wanna hug him and not let him go.....love..
RELATING
DO you have a bf/gf if yes who? yes..daniel
What do you find sexy about them: haha everything
A place where you want to have sex: omg are yew for real? thats personal lol all my friends hate it cuz i dont tell them shit about my relationship heh im private damnit
A strange place where you have had sex: a church bus....with ppl in it...goin down tha road...on a church trip....( this was a long time ago tho btw )
What drives you crazy (in a good way) about this person: his smile
What music is on when you have sex, or is it the tv? haha i dont know
Favorite song to have sex to : haha i just gotta say this cuz its humorous..."marvin gaye - lets get it on"
Describe your mate physicaly: tall..dark hair..hazel eyes...cutie patutie!
Describle your mate's personality: u jus gotta kno him
You feel most attractive when: i got on my contacts..im in a dress or a really cute outfit....my make looks flawless....and i do my hair
Favorite thing you like to see your mate wear (clothing wise don't say naked): lol his lil black clothes...and his spike choker mmmmm
What would you like your mate to do more of: haha
FINALLY>>>>>>
If you had more time alone you would: organize my room and clean it....get all my music appreciation shit caught up....
If you had more patience you would: curl my hair more often.....learn to drive a standard.....
If you could change one thing about your physical appearance what would it be: my stomach!
If you had no committments what would you be doing: sleeping..but i have a comp report im puttin off right now by doin this haha
If you could have one super power what would it be: i dont know lol
If you could start all over.... i wouldnt...cuz i wouldnt know what i know now! |
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| hoodie hoo? |
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| 11:21pm 08/02/2004 |
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mood:  bouncy music: tv news blarrin in tha background grr
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hey yew guyz! i went to see the american tragedy again last nite in little rock ( thas a long drive lawd ) but n e hoot they rawked of course! woohoo! he even gave us a shoutout haha we so rawk mayne. oh they started late tho cuz someone broke into their van, which totally sux...little rock is kind of fucked up...lol im frum this lil ass town that most of tha businesses close at like 10-11 pm..and over there everything is open all nite..and there is life still goin on..ppl still out at like 2 am lol its totally different. n e hoot....heather an curt argued all tha way there an all tha way back haha they are so funny...most of tha time its jus about stupid stuff like tha radio station, heather likes rap..curt hates rap....heather likes country...curt hates country haha its so fuckin funny...an heather got this great idea that we should listen to tha disney radio station cuz it picks up in little rock and omg they play tha gayest shit haha curt an her got in a fight about that....she ended up slappin his hand really hard to get him frum changin tha station lol so that started a new fight haha...me an daniel sat in tha backseat laughin about it lol. oh man after tha concert we went to denny's in benton to get sum grub..cuz we were some hungry m0f0'z an this krazie lookin mexican dood kept starin at me an freakin me out...an there was a dood in there that looked like hitler too lol it was super duper freakieee! anyhoot we finally got back into magnolia at like about 3 am and we all jus crashed out over at heathers....i played on her puter for a while tho lol she has dsl so it rawks...we watched sum family guy too..cuz u guyz lets face it...stewie fuckin rawks tha socks off of everyone!
oh onto more dreary suckie subjects...i did all of my comp homework earlier i had to write an essay on a process analyisis....i wrote it on how to anger ur mother lol i thought it was funny but my mom was like yea u should know! me? hah! im so sweet ;) lol ...im so not lookin forward to my test in government tuesday...i hate n e type of government/history bs....i took a test in music appreciation last week and i dont even want to know the score on that either...i'm terrified lol u guyz so need to wish me luck...cuz i so suck right now haha
oh yea and tha club we went to last nite happens to be tha club that evanescence use to play at before they made it big....their old guitarist was there too last nite haha tha one that quit b4 they made it big...i so bet he kicks his self in tha ass for that every day....n e way this is a good enuff update fer now...so later tators!
-pynky
*poof* gather my pynky dustz! |
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| found this lil thingie online earlier |
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| 03:01am 03/02/2004 |
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HAH! |
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| survey-o-rama mama! haha |
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| 09:06pm 31/01/2004 |
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mood:  cold
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-BASICS-
Name: Carrie
Age: 19
School: university of arkansas community college in hope
Occupation: gonna be a psychiatrist one day
Hometown: mcneil
Town where you are living: mcneil i kno i'm lame
Siblings: 1 brother
Pets: 6 cats...and 5 dogs
Sports you play: none..i'm not really a sporty person..i'ma girlie girl
Daily mode(s) of transportation: 2000 4 door white cavalier
Relationship status: engaged
IQ (seriously): like 118 i think
Religion: brought up a baptist but i'm not a fan of organized religion...i believe in God but when ppl try to put their on restrictions and beliefs on it it gets confused...read the bible urself...God has his msg for YOU in it...
-FAVORITES-
Color: Pynk, Purple, Black, and Silver
Food: subway
Band: NIN, MSI, and rasputina
Animal: cats
Flower: lily's
Writing untencil: funky colored gel pens
Store: hot topic, rainbow, burkes, and the warehouse
Song: transister - day #1 ( great song hard to find )
Actor or Actress: nicolas cage and drew barrymore
Place: there
City: hot springs
Article of clothing you own: my pair of grey pants with my chain belt that kix so much arse it makes me drool haha
TV Show: courage the cowardly dog
Stuffed animal: floppy my stuffed rabbit that my doggies chewed up *criez*
Resturaunt: johnny carinos
Subject: music appreciation
Play: ......................i live in bumfucked arkansas where am i gonna see a play?
Book: danielle steel - heartbeat
-THOUGHT PROVOKING QUESTIONS-
If you could be any insect in any time period, what and where would you be? uh i guess a current lady bug cuz they are so cute
What do you want to be when you grow up? Why? im gonna be a shrienk thas what i'm in school for, cuz i want to help ppl that have problems with their mind
Are you intellegent? haha no..ditzy? yes
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? tha cav
Do you feel that golf is a a game or sport? Why? game....where is tha sport in it really? i mean i love mini golf, but for real how many times have u seen someone really break a good sweat playin golf?
Do you like the President? Why or why not? no...i think we are in war cuz he is mad at sadam for what he did to his dad
What is your proudst moment? uh i guess when i finally got in school?
Does Nilla Wafers in Pudding sound unappitizing to you? Why or why not? hey they go together damnit...what is puddin without tha wafers?
What are you avoiding by filling out this survey? doin my essay for comp 1....
Are you successful? hah no
What is the funniest thing you have ever seen? tha owner of nokia on tv..he has tha fatest bald head i've ever seen, i jus laughed my ass off when i seen him
Do you like your life? Why or why not? yea pretty much, because its mine
What is your greatest achievement? goin back to school after all this time when i've been scared to for a long time
What is your most embarrising moment? falling out of a deer stand lol
Do you think that people are born homosexual or that it is a society derived attribute aquired during the growth process? Why? i think its their choice actually but who am i to say?
-Random questions-
Did you like the "Back to the Future" movies? havent ever seen them.....see i told you guys im lame
Ghosts and Witches: real or hoax? real
Do you like Micheal Jackson or do you think he is a has-been? has-been child molesting asshole..i cant stand him....i hope he goes to jail
Do you speak anyother language besides English? a verrry lil bit of french
Do you find the "Iron Chef" humorous? whats that?
Do you think that cheerleading is a sport? haha i guess, i was gonna be a cheerleader in hs, but i decided against it cuz i couldnt stand tha preppie lil bitches
What type of computer are you using right now? compaq presario
Do you own an article of clothing that is pleather? yesh lol im poor
Did you buy that piece of clothing as a joke or do you wear it regularly? haha i wear it proudly biaaaaaaaaaatch
Are you watching TV or listening to music right now? If so, what are you watching/listening? my mom is watchin tv in tha bg...i think its csi
What does your hair look like right now? shiiiiiiit....i have it pulled back in a bun haha i look like a librarian
What time is it? 8:52pm
Do you enjoy Hanson's music? Why or why not? (and don't say that they are girls or gay...everyone says that.) no....i liked like 2 of their songs back in tha day but they really arent my style lol...and they look like GIRLS hahahaha jus had to
-PERSONAL QUESTIONS-
What is in your shower right now? tons of shampoo....a few diff conditioners...body wash....soap.....bubble bath....and my razor lol
How much of that do you actually use? uh all of it at different times
What time do you wake up in the morning? haha mornin are u kiddin? i usually wake up after 12....
What is your daily routine? m-w i get up an do what i gotta do then get ready for school that nite......then th-sun i chill out and enjoy my outta school dayz
Do you have a lot of friends? a few....i dont like backstabbers
Do you have an actual best friend? yea
Do you live with anyone? my folks
Your room: spacious/tiny? personal/cluttered? bare/busy? nice/ugly? tiny, cluttered, busy, and neither nice or ugly...bland is more like it
What do you like most about yourself? uh my eyes?
Does your job suck? not workin...i'm in college full time student...and yes dear frankly it does suck
Do you get along with your family? now i do...i use to fight with them alot when i was younger but as i got older we get along alot better....*props to mom*
Do you enjoy the people in your everyday life? yesh most of the time
Are you critical or gullable? GULLABLE!!!!!
Do you trust people? Why or why not? too much sometimes...i dont want to trust ppl most of tha time..but sometimes i cant help myself :( i want to believe in tha good in everyone im a sucker
What is in your purse/bag/briefcase right now? (go check, don't make it up...that would be lying.) uhm...my wallet.......a bunch of random junk....a pair of panties haha ( dont ask)
What defines the perfect partner for you? haha
-BODY QUESTIONS-
Do you have good personal hygene? i love to be clean
What _______ do you use? (if any) huh????????
-facewash: clean and clear sensitive skin
-soap/bodywash: tone
-lotion: body therapy spa...its tha green kind..it has a cool funk scent i luff it
-perfume/lotion: candies, cool water, or wild roseberries
-makeup: diff kinds lol
-toothpaste: crest
-mouthwash: listerine
-floss: johnson and johnson
-deoderent: degree
-shampoo/conditioner: matrix
-astringent: clean and clear sensitive skin
-mints: altoids
-hair products: dont use hair spray lol...i may use gel somtimes but hardly ever i hate how it makes my hair feel
-upkeep products: do huh?
Do you clean (Q-Tip) your ears? How often? yesh about 3 times a week
Are you in good physical shape? i could be in better shape
How do you take care of your feet? uhm scrub and clip tha toe nails and paint them haha
What are your eating habits? lol i get made fun of so much about how i eat...i eat very slow and very small bites...ppl alwayz laugh at me....ev0l ev0l ppl lol
What is your hair color? naturally blonde....dyed red :D
Do you smoke/dip? i smoke yesh...marlboro lights weee
How often do you shower? daily!
What do you usualy drink during the average day? juice, frapuccino, coke..etc...
Do you paint your nails? If so, what color? sometimes......diff colors..pynks, blacks, blues, or bright reds lol
Do you have more than one hairstyle? yea
Do you wear retainers/braces? Have you? no and no
Do you have contacts/glasses? yesh both.....
Do you think that you are a healthy person? no
-ETC-
How often do you get online? daily
Do you write letters to people? eh sometimes
Are you afraid to ride in a plane? Why? yes i alwayz have been i wont ever do it no way......and i dont kno why
Are you tired? gaw yes
Do you want to go to sleep? kind of
Have you ever been in love? i am
Are you attracted to anyone? yeap
Do you wish you had someone right now? i do
Are you away from home and do you miss it? no..
Are you at home and wish you were somewhere else? yes
Do you think that AL Gore's beard look makes him look laid back and rustic or makes him look like he's trying to look laid back and rustic? haha i dont kno
What is the best coffee you've ever had and where can I get it? uh i dont kno im more of a cappucino, frappucino person
What time is it?:9:06 |
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| rhrmm im dumb |
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| 10:42pm 25/01/2004 |
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If I were a month I would be: December...i love the winter If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday...end of the werkin week time to let loose an have fun! If I were a time of day I would be: 9 pm...i'm actually up and alert and fully awake then lol i kno its sad If I were a planet I would be: Pluto...little and far away haha If I were a sea animal I would be: Mermaid! if they were real lol If I were a direction I would be: That way (hence im confusing) If I were a piece of furniture: i'd be a relaxing recliner with built in massagers If I were a liquid I would be: coca cola cuz their aint nuttin like tha real thang If I were a stone, I would be: a sapphire If I were a tree, I would be: weeping willow If I were a bird I would be: a white dove...peaceful and full of grace If I were a tool, I would be:hammer i suppose If I were a flower/plant I would be: a speckled lily growing wild If I were a kind of weather I would be: a peaceful winter snow If I were a mythical creature I would be: a pixie! If I were a musical instrument I would be: violin If I were an animal, I would be: Cat If I were a color, I would be: hot pynk If I were an emotion, I would be: bipolar haha If I were a vegetable, I would be: broccoli mmmm If I were a sound, I would be: hysterical laughing lol If I were an element, I would be: Fire If I were a car, I would be: mclaren.....totally unique If I were a song, I would be: bring me to life - evanescense If I were a movie, I would be directed by: ron howard If I were a book, I would be written by: v.c. andrews If I were a food, I would be: chick a dilly fried chicken If I were a place, I would be: venece, italy If I were a material, I would be: satin If I were a taste, I would be: spicy If I were a scent, I would be: candies If I were a word, I would be: Trust If I were an object, I would be: a computer If I were a body part I would be: eyes If I were a expression I would be: frown If I were a subject in school I would be: intro to computers ( i teach ppl how to use comps alot lol ) If I were a number I would be: infinity If I were a celebrity I would be: amy lee or thora birch ( 2 ppl i hear i look like alot lately ) |
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| 09:37pm 25/01/2004 |
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mood:  tired music: the golden globe awards (tv in bg)
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hey yew guyz how goes it? it goes okay for tha pynk laday....lets see what to update on... oh yea..i went an awesome concert last nite like 16 bands played...there is a band in this area that is startin to get pretty big that was there, they did a song off of that movie end of dayz ( ya kno tha movie with arnold! ) n e way they are called the american tragedy ( www.theamericantragedy.com if u wanna hear sum of their music...pull out menu with music is tha arrow on tha right of tha screen ), and we heard alot of other kickass bands like mid-winter, barrabas, and crooked halo to name a few...it was awesome it was an all day event that didnt end til after 1 am..it was fabu! oh and jesse got mad at me cuz she wanted her an her bf to follow us up there but she never told me if they were goin with us or not...so i didnt look for her....i feel bad about it tho..she would have loved it :( i stayed tha nite wif daniel last nite after tha concert, it was so late when we got in and we were tired, and their garage decided to go nutzo! it kept goin up an down without n e one pushin tha buttons to make it...we think it may have gotten some water in its lil box thingie cuz it rained a helluva lot yesterday. it was soooo foggy comin home..i thought heather would kill us! lol im suprised she didnt kill us on tha way to tha club, cuz she decided to put on her mascara an shit while we were goin down tha road, her bf was freakin out ahaha an then she told him to hand her tha eyeliner an i was like "heather NOO! u cant put eyeliner on goin down tha road drivin!" she actually listened like wowow! lol she aint that bad of a driver im jus a chicken shit haha
n e way this as good of an update as u get for now! more to come later! weee
*poof* gather my pynky dustz!!!!! |
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| hey everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! did u miss me! |
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| 06:52pm 22/01/2004 |
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mood:  bouncy music: transister - flow
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well lookie lookie i'm back and wee! lol my puter was dead forever and a day man...but i got it fixed....yae me! *knock on wood*
oh my my carrie started school! yesh i did! arent yall proud of meh! lol i'm doin human services so weeee! i have class 3 dayz a week.....2 classes on tuesday tho...they are all nite classes which fits me better cuz we all kno i dont appear til tha sun goes down muwahahaha! so far i'm likin tha classes i dont like my algebra teacher tho he is an ass...i havent had my comp 1 class yet cuz school was out monday....but i'll have it this monday...i'm still nervous but it'll get better.... music appreciation class rawks tho lol cuz i understand alot of tha shit they talk about cuz i had band in jr high and hs...so wippeee!
we had my bor a b-day party on tha 14th...his b-day was tha 13th tho...my bro got so smashed man hahaha he was actin retarded he called up this girl he likes an proposed to her and he even proposed to MY FIANCE! hahaha it was hilarious..he doesnt remember half of it..esp after he downed almost a 5th of rum.....jesse's bf tried to rap on karaoke lol he was too drunk haha...i got to feelin good and did daniel an curts hair haha it was fabu!
im goin to a concert this weekend that should be lotsa fun! it starts at 3 pm saturday and ends at 1 am...i'm gonna be exhausted! lol owell it should be fun! yeee! lol well i'll try to update more later! sorry its been so long but i'm back! yee
-pynky *poof* gather my pynky dustz!!!! |
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| OH YEA! |
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| 08:46am 21/12/2003 |
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jus so yew guyz all kno haha i forgot to say this a while ago my bday is comin up so dont forget to say HAPPY B-DAY to meh! its Christmas Eve.....WEDNESDAY! lol i'll be 19 weeeeEEEeeeeeee! haha n e way i'm out hollar ballarz lol |
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| whutz up pplz! |
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| 08:33am 21/12/2003 |
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mood:  accomplished music: R. Kelly - Ignition (B/W Remix)
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hey yew guyz i've been werkin on my site lately...i have updated my sections alot and the entrance page has a diff lay out plz go check it out an tell me what ya think of it so far plz plz ur opinons matter!!!!!!!! http://k0rruptfantasies.cjb.net thnx |
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| Bam! |
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| 04:46am 12/12/2003 |
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mood:  amused music: Florgasm - Broken Down
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hey yew guyz lol as most of yew kno my fiance's band finally got a singer..and she can sing her ass off...they got a song up now so i think yew should all go and download it!!! yes i do! i do i do!
copy and paste this into ur browser.. florgasm.songsfrom.us/Florgasm - Broken Down.mp3
it will either download or it will play on media player depending on ur explorer settings....its a really good song |
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| 11:45pm 09/12/2003 |
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you are darkslateblue #483D8B | Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy.
Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.
Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
| | the spacefem.com html color quiz |
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| allo amigos |
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| 04:12am 06/12/2003 |
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mood:  blah music: Barabbas - Break You
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hey pplz sorry bout not updating.. things have been pretty boring tho owell daniels band has got a singer and a bassist now...so thats cool :P oh yea lol i have got a new color scheme on my forum now....lots of topics to chat in..so if u havent already joined it ( im not even gonna say it..yes i am..WHY DA FUCK AINT YA JOINED IT?! ) lol you should join :D http://xxpynkyxx.proboards23.com an if u have n e probz with it u can comment on here or email me at xxpynkyxx@hotmail.com
blah n e way cassie is snoring her ass off on tha couch..haha ummm i'm suppose to be gettin up at 6 to start my Christmas shopping shindig.....blah i'm gonnna be sooooooo tired its already 4:11 blah! blah! blah! lol n e way i'm outtie :D later tators -pynky *poof* gather my pynky dustz!!
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| 12:17am 26/11/2003 |
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my kitten died...it fuckin sucks i dont kno what was wrong with her....she acted like her leg was messed up then bam she died....
im bored....sorry i havent been updating..but my life has been borin tha past few dayz...jus sittin around not doin shit...owell i've been watchin alot of movies lately tho lol down with love rawks...so does kangaroo jack haha oh and i rented an old ass movie tonite called pillow talk....*sighz* i love that movie...im a sucker for mushy moviez :P n e way ima go i'll try to update more later! peace pplz -pynky *poof* gather my pynky dustz!! |
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| allo peoplez |
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| 04:28am 20/11/2003 |
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mood:  awake music: Mike Jones - Freestyle (Don't Fail Me Now)
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hey yew guyz..i jus woke up....blah i been havin fucked up dream lately...i woke up in a sweat an shit too....it sucked....
man my little fuzzy kittie kat is so sick. she jus keeps laying around, she is actin like her lil foot is hurt too....im really worried bout her, and my mom wont take her to tha vet cuz she doesnt have tha money. i fuckin hate bein poor.
n e way i went with daniel and his parents to texarkana yesterday cuz his dad had to get some tests ran on him.....they all came out good tho so yae! we had to get up at like 5 am tho...i was so damn tired haha owell i survived it!
im so freakin cold man its 40 degrees outside and my mom has tha air conditioner kicked up!!!!! its krazie!
n e way thats a small update it sux but owell...til next time -pynky *poof* gather my pynky dustz! |
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| dklfjalk |
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| 07:44am 18/11/2003 |
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mood:  thoughtful
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hey yew guyz sorry i havent been updating like a good lil girl...jus not too much has been goin on...i'm a lazy bum plz forgive me :P hrmm i dont really know what to talk about... another family member of mine has passed away..... death is becoming way to real to me to close blah
i'm incredibly cold, they have tha damn air conditioner on and its like 58 degrees outside..i'm cold natured.....owell...i'll live...i'm bundled up in a blankie :D wee! lol uhm to all of u who have yet to join my forum plz join it! i would so much appreciate it and tell ur friends to jo in too! http://xxpynkyxx.proboards23.com thats the link! thnx -pynky *poof* gather my pynky dustz! |
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| life is hard... |
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| 06:12am 12/11/2003 |
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mood:  depressed music: Simple Plan - Perfect
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gawd i think too much i worry too much i depress myself so bad for no apparent reasons even sometimes i stare into this screen... thinking.... negative shit fills my mind to no end sometimes i just want to scream or cry sometimes i do i feel so stupid and weak when i do... i'm suppose to be the backbone of tha family i'm suppose to be strong why am i so weak? what is so fuckin wrong with me? sometimes i just want to run away somewhere...hide away for a while i hurt so much in my mind sometimes and i dont even know why im so scared of everything i wish i wasnt such an idiot... i wish i could do things right i wish i could make everyone happy but i guess i cant i wish i could stop the pain i feel right now..... the pain is here..but why?! why am i so sad?! i dont even fuckin kno i know i'm paranoid....but i cant help it if there was a switch to hit...i woulda done that a long time ago my emotions are so fucked up i get depressed over thingz alot..or worried but i wont tell n e one...... i have to keep it inside when i let it out i fuck up some how..... maybe i deserve to be in one of those krazie homes i dont know.... i dont kno n e thing..... life is fuckin hard...
.......sorry i cant be perfect |
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