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[natalia darko]

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55 days [26 Feb 2009|12:56pm]
i am the sky and you and the sea,
you are the one that colors me.




it's been 55 days and counting, and im madly in love with jonathon! 1.3.09
scream it

between billiard breault and moi. [26 Feb 2009|12:56pm]
papeRxheaRts x 2 (3:02:25 PM): that facebook chat always is so slow
TheProtagonist81 (3:37:01 PM):[Offline IM sent 8h and 52m ago] well that was a rivoting convo,lol


Auto Response from papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:28:19 AM): r.i.p mr.t<2222


papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:28:41 AM): heyyyy
TheProtagonist81 (12:28:44 AM): heya
TheProtagonist81 (12:28:46 AM): whats up
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:28:48 AM): not much
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:28:55 AM): that facebook chat was not working for me earlier
TheProtagonist81 (12:28:59 AM): ah ok
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:29:08 AM): but anyways, how the fuck are you?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:29:12 AM): jesus.. its been long
TheProtagonist81 (12:29:22 AM): i know
TheProtagonist81 (12:29:28 AM): im good, how bout you?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:29:51 AM): good... sick thou, this years weather is kicking my ass
TheProtagonist81 (12:30:07 AM): yea i know that feeling
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:30:52 AM): you still in school>
TheProtagonist81 (12:30:56 AM): yea
TheProtagonist81 (12:31:00 AM): for a while,lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:32:25 AM): same place?
TheProtagonist81 (12:32:42 AM): yea..
TheProtagonist81 (12:32:43 AM): haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:32:52 AM): where you working?
TheProtagonist81 (12:33:11 AM): lowe's
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:33:20 AM): ohhhh do you know a girl named heather
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:33:28 AM): shes like in her 20s
TheProtagonist81 (12:33:32 AM): maybe
TheProtagonist81 (12:33:39 AM): lets go ahead and say yes,lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:33:50 AM): she recently started, shes very attractive.. glasses
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:33:55 AM): well anyways, i know her
TheProtagonist81 (12:34:07 AM): ok not the one i know,lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:34:39 AM): soooo, hows the love life?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:41:36 AM): ?
TheProtagonist81 (12:41:41 AM): non existant,lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:41:47 AM): lol, that took forever
TheProtagonist81 (12:41:52 AM): spaced out
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:42:13 AM): well, have you done the deed yet?
TheProtagonist81 (12:42:13 AM): its not like i was counting,lol
TheProtagonist81 (12:42:16 AM): nah
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:42:18 AM): shit!
TheProtagonist81 (12:42:25 AM): that would not define 0 lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:42:32 AM): i should have fucked you when i had the chance!
TheProtagonist81 (12:42:45 AM): well its not like u dont...lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:42:55 AM): well, it is
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:42:55 AM): lol
TheProtagonist81 (12:42:57 AM): lol
TheProtagonist81 (12:43:03 AM): just on your side
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:43:16 AM): yeah, my boyfriend would hate that
TheProtagonist81 (12:43:20 AM): yea
TheProtagonist81 (12:43:21 AM): lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:43:29 AM): and im sure you're seeing or hanging out with some chik or another
TheProtagonist81 (12:43:35 AM): not atm
TheProtagonist81 (12:43:56 AM): noone im rly interested in
TheProtagonist81 (12:44:11 AM): lol we'll call that little option plan b, if something happens on your end and nothing continues to happen on mine
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:44:13 AM): youre so picky
TheProtagonist81 (12:44:20 AM): im not picky at all,lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:44:38 AM): you aaaaare picky when it comes to girls
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:44:43 AM): why didnt you date me?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:44:47 AM): i've been wondering this
TheProtagonist81 (12:44:49 AM): i wanted to
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:45:08 AM): i mean seriously, i liked you. and you just... idk... always kept me in the friend zone
TheProtagonist81 (12:45:08 AM): i still kinda do
TheProtagonist81 (12:45:25 AM): i seriously dont know how you thought that natalia, really
TheProtagonist81 (12:45:36 AM): i was absolutely crazy about you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:45:45 AM): WHAT
TheProtagonist81 (12:45:46 AM): and obviously its irrelovant because you are with someone but i still think about it
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:45:51 AM): are you in crack?
TheProtagonist81 (12:45:56 AM): i shit you not
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:45:58 AM): lol, for real. i slept over all the time
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:46:07 AM): and ... nothing happened.. you never even talked about it
TheProtagonist81 (12:46:17 AM): it didnt feel right
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:46:23 AM): i mean i was going through that shit with greg... and you could have told me you liked me or something
TheProtagonist81 (12:46:24 AM): not the whole me and you thing
TheProtagonist81 (12:46:25 AM): me starting it
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:46:26 AM): you did nothing.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:46:39 AM): what?? it didnt feel 'right'?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:46:47 AM): what the hell is that supposed to mean
TheProtagonist81 (12:46:56 AM): you have to realize something about me
TheProtagonist81 (12:47:15 AM): it sounds like a lie but im shy as hell
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:47:25 AM): yeah but it was meeee...
TheProtagonist81 (12:47:29 AM): the fact that i would hold hands with you, get close to you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:47:31 AM): i thought i was different
TheProtagonist81 (12:47:32 AM): that MEANT i liked you
TheProtagonist81 (12:47:50 AM): i will say it right now. if you are ever single, id do anything to be with you
TheProtagonist81 (12:48:08 AM): those nights u thought i was drunk and i would try to kiss you, i wasnt
TheProtagonist81 (12:48:30 AM): the night i tried to fool around with you on the couch, that was drunk,lol. but the others were me trying to make up for when u kissed me and i did nothing
TheProtagonist81 (12:48:55 AM): i still feel bad about that, and part of the reason i got so mad while drunk that night was pissed off at myself
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:48:56 AM): ill never forget that. im not kidding. i kissed you in kristens dorm and you looked at me like i was crazy
TheProtagonist81 (12:49:23 AM): i didnt know how to react, and it sounds stupid but you have to realize i have no experience with beautiful girls having interest in me
TheProtagonist81 (12:49:45 AM): just like you thought i was putting you in the friend zone, i thought the same about you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:50:03 AM): ... iiiiii tried to kiss youuuuu. how was i putting you in the friend zone? i made my move
TheProtagonist81 (12:50:17 AM): there were substances involved
TheProtagonist81 (12:50:26 AM): in my mind that means you wake up regretting
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:51:02 AM): oh hush
TheProtagonist81 (12:51:09 AM): im just telling you my side hun
TheProtagonist81 (12:51:20 AM): and im just gonna censor myself cause ur in a relationship
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:51:30 AM): wait what?
TheProtagonist81 (12:51:40 AM): im restricting what i say because it wouldnt be right
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:51:48 AM): just say it, i wont be offended
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:51:55 AM): i know you dont mean anything bad by it
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:52:05 AM): i just wanna get it all out, ive been meaning to say this for a while
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:52:27 AM): i was kind of hurt and put off by the whole thing. i liked you and felt like i was barking up the wrong tree
TheProtagonist81 (12:52:41 AM): honestly i was too scared to make a move
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:52:42 AM): i felt rejected and i didnt like it. and then we just stopped being friends
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:52:51 AM): too scared? why
TheProtagonist81 (12:52:54 AM): i dont think we stopped being friends
TheProtagonist81 (12:52:59 AM): now dont take this the wrong way
TheProtagonist81 (12:53:09 AM): you are experienced and im not
TheProtagonist81 (12:53:18 AM): we have sex, im bad, now u have that over me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:53:39 AM): you think i'd ... idk, what the heck!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:53:45 AM): im not a bitch
TheProtagonist81 (12:53:47 AM): i know that
TheProtagonist81 (12:54:10 AM): but considering to me sex w/ you would have to involve your pleasure first, if im bad i cant do that
TheProtagonist81 (12:54:23 AM): ill say this natalia
TheProtagonist81 (12:54:29 AM): you are absolutely beautiful
TheProtagonist81 (12:54:32 AM): so fun to be around
TheProtagonist81 (12:54:39 AM): you bring out a side of me i love
TheProtagonist81 (12:54:41 AM): if you are ever single
TheProtagonist81 (12:54:48 AM): i WILL make you mine
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:55:02 AM): youll be the first to know. trust me
TheProtagonist81 (12:55:13 AM): so u still have something for me?
TheProtagonist81 (12:55:15 AM): between us
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:55:33 AM): well, i'll always wonder what could have been.
TheProtagonist81 (12:55:41 AM): in that it can never be?
TheProtagonist81 (12:56:09 AM): can i tell you something?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:56:20 AM): sure
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:56:22 AM): tell away
TheProtagonist81 (12:56:34 AM): that last party you were at w/ me at keiths... you crushed my heart too
TheProtagonist81 (12:56:45 AM): it was so subtle but i really got hurt
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:56:52 AM): what did i do?
TheProtagonist81 (12:57:02 AM): and ur going to laugh at me cause its so miniscule
TheProtagonist81 (12:57:06 AM): but i remember vividly
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:57:14 AM): ok, tell me
TheProtagonist81 (12:57:24 AM): we were hanging out where the cd player was, u grabbed a marker and wrote natalia loves me on my hand
TheProtagonist81 (12:57:31 AM): so i wrote bill loves me on your arm
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:57:39 AM): omg! keiths!... we stopped hanging out after keiths
TheProtagonist81 (12:57:53 AM): later that night i saw your arm and my name was scribbled out
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:58:24 AM): i honestly dont remember that.
TheProtagonist81 (12:58:26 AM): and like i said it was so miniscule but i was absolutey crushed
TheProtagonist81 (12:58:30 AM): my memory is powerful
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:58:56 AM): i just remember we started going to keiths like once or twice then i met steven there and after i hung out with steve.. you and i completely lost contact
TheProtagonist81 (12:59:05 AM): i was jealous
TheProtagonist81 (12:59:16 AM): since we're getting it all out
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:59:22 AM): it was wierd thou, we were friends for so long
TheProtagonist81 (12:59:29 AM): it hurt
papeRxheaRts x 2 (12:59:30 AM): i was really hurt that you could just drop me like that
TheProtagonist81 (12:59:36 AM): i never wanted to
TheProtagonist81 (12:59:40 AM): i really didnt
TheProtagonist81 (1:00:04 AM): if i could go back to the way things were i would, in a heartbeat
TheProtagonist81 (1:00:09 AM): and you know damn well my parents love you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:00:39 AM): yeah, i miss your dad! he was a sweetheart and your mom always took it so well when i'd call in the middle of the night
TheProtagonist81 (1:00:51 AM): i had 1 girl after you maybe 3 months after for like a week, they met her and were like "wheres natalia. i liked her more"
TheProtagonist81 (1:01:47 AM): well i guess to be an optimist they say if you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours, and if not it never was
TheProtagonist81 (1:01:48 AM): here i am
TheProtagonist81 (1:01:54 AM): lol. sorry i had to try to lighten the mood
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:02:32 AM): lol, that was nice
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:02:37 AM): whyd you break up with that girl
TheProtagonist81 (1:02:46 AM): she broke up w/ me but i saw it comin
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:02:51 AM): why
TheProtagonist81 (1:02:51 AM): and i didnt care
TheProtagonist81 (1:03:08 AM): someone told her i was just trying to fuck her or something and she beleived em
TheProtagonist81 (1:03:22 AM): my grief was cured by skipping 1 class and going for chinese food,lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:03:27 AM): lmfao
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:03:35 AM): you still talk to kristen?
TheProtagonist81 (1:03:38 AM): yea
TheProtagonist81 (1:03:44 AM): the other person i think about a lot
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:03:47 AM): yeah...
TheProtagonist81 (1:03:48 AM): just different,lol
TheProtagonist81 (1:03:55 AM): i actually lost my feelings for her
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:03:56 AM): wanna know what really hurt me?
TheProtagonist81 (1:03:59 AM): she doesnt believe me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:04:04 AM): ill tell you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:04:11 AM): you really pissed me off actually
TheProtagonist81 (1:04:11 AM): i do wanna know
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:04:56 AM): well, we stopped talking.. and a few months later you made a bulletin.. it was a survey of somesort and it was allll about kristen.
TheProtagonist81 (1:05:08 AM): it was first love
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:05:22 AM): and when you and i were hanging out you told me you were over her,,, and then you just like forgot about me and fell back in love with her
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:05:32 AM): it was wierd. i was confused, jealous and mad.
TheProtagonist81 (1:05:49 AM): i can go 1 for 1 with you on that one
TheProtagonist81 (1:06:07 AM): 4 times
TheProtagonist81 (1:06:17 AM): you called me told me you missed me
TheProtagonist81 (1:06:24 AM): and a smile drew across my face
TheProtagonist81 (1:06:32 AM): wanted to hang out, i was excited
TheProtagonist81 (1:06:58 AM): called you about it, first time some guy picked up and hung up on me, 2 times voicemail and the last u actually looked at it and hung up
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:07:13 AM): ok, let me just tell you billiard. that the one time KRISTEN called me.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:07:19 AM): let me tell you thiisss budddyyyy
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:07:24 AM): kristen calls me bc shes in
TheProtagonist81 (1:07:25 AM): dont get mad
TheProtagonist81 (1:07:28 AM): im just stating
TheProtagonist81 (1:07:39 AM): obviously im not mad
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:07:43 AM): she says ohhhh im going to bills. and im like oh! awesome.... im coming too.
TheProtagonist81 (1:07:46 AM): or i wouldnt be here talking to you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:07:58 AM): shes like... ohhh, uhmm.. idk if he's gunna like that
TheProtagonist81 (1:08:07 AM): what!?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:08:18 AM): and im like.. oh? why not? and shes like ohhh bc i mentioned your name to him once and he didnt seem too happy.
TheProtagonist81 (1:08:23 AM): u know its this crap that makes me just accept her as a friend
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:08:27 AM): im like ok... im gunna call him and ask him myself
TheProtagonist81 (1:08:32 AM): i said it was fine, i was happy about it
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:08:34 AM): sooo thats when i called you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:08:44 AM): you told me yeah awesome. you had a friend over too i think
TheProtagonist81 (1:08:48 AM): yea
TheProtagonist81 (1:08:50 AM): pete was up
TheProtagonist81 (1:08:52 AM): and mark was on the way
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:09:02 AM): sooo i call kristen and tell her it was all good. shes like ohhh well,, how are we gunna get there?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:09:14 AM): im like,, i dont know, im not dddriving ask bill
TheProtagonist81 (1:09:14 AM): she told me she didnt hear from you again
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:09:31 AM): she said you said you were already drinking or somehing so you couldnt get ut
TheProtagonist81 (1:09:48 AM): i was clean still
TheProtagonist81 (1:09:49 AM): we waited
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:10:02 AM): im like... well, can you drive up? shes like no my mom wont let me. shes like oh well i told bill that i'll come up if i find a ride
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:10:21 AM): im like.. well we cant find a ride. this was like an hour later bc we were looking for a ride for a while
TheProtagonist81 (1:10:27 AM): she told me she never heard from you again
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:10:35 AM): then shes like.. well i guess were not going. and im like.. okkkk i guess not.
TheProtagonist81 (1:10:47 AM): couldve picked up w/ me tho
TheProtagonist81 (1:11:01 AM): hearing from you wouldve stopped that drunken voicemail
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:11:28 AM): then you leave me this nasty voicemail like "ohhh blablabla im so mad and blabablabla and by the way! the next time you wanna hang out.. ill THINK about it"
TheProtagonist81 (1:11:46 AM): i was gone
TheProtagonist81 (1:11:54 AM): and everyone else was too or they woulda stopped me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:12:00 AM): i was like.... uhmm.... ive never seen him so mad.
TheProtagonist81 (1:12:13 AM): u saw me the ngiht i kept punching a wall,lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:12:42 AM): well i really gotta go to sleeeeeps. 8am comes fast
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:12:54 AM): but i have your number now. and you should have mines
TheProtagonist81 (1:12:56 AM): ok
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:12:56 AM): 677 2343
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:01 AM): i remember it
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:02 AM): memorized
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:13:05 AM): WELL lol
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:05 AM): keep in touch
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:07 AM): and realize,lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:13:09 AM): i will
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:11 AM): what i said is true
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:13:15 AM): about?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:13:18 AM): everything you mean?
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:25 AM): any time u wanted to be with me u could
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:28 AM): then and now
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:13:34 AM): yeah yeah. bla bla.
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:38 AM): lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:13:39 AM): youuuuu could have.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (1:13:42 AM): g'nite!
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:45 AM): night
TheProtagonist81 (1:13:48 AM): tty soon
TheProtagonist81 (1:16:01 AM): you'll get pride in the fact that you have guaranteed my mindset for the night
TheProtagonist81 signed off at 2:02:23 AM.
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theprotagonist81 signed off at 11:44:00 AM.
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scream it

NO [11 Jan 2009|03:30am]
and again, no.
scream it

christian evans and winnie the pooh. [12 Nov 2008|12:44am]
"Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave."
scream it

dear michael, [12 Nov 2008|12:42am]
Darling, you left my heart
In pieces on the floor
So tell me why shouldn't I
Break some things of yours?
I'll smash your lamp, the antique chair,
That stupid thing you always wear;
I'll smash a vase, the radio,
Those little teacups from Limoge;
Your wacky paintings on the walls;
Darling - POW - I'll smash 'em all;
Lover, it's just a game;
Cupid can take the blame;
I'll take the place apart,
But don't worry - I won't smash your heart!
scream it

michael delaura [13 Oct 2008|06:19pm]
ABOUT LAST NIGHT


Depending on when you read this, it could be a couple nights ago, but whatevs.

"I never thought I'd be here, inside your celestial sphere."

It must be both our cups of tea -
the winding roads and weeping trees,
melting at ninety-seven degrees,
counting stars by falling walls,
waiting for the last curtain call.

For secrets within, you're sweeter than sin.
You're dripping with truth and covered with skin.
Trading my past for a chance to break through,
for parting our ways and for deja vu.

It must be in our crystal balls -
the narrow bridges, shopping malls,
spoken words that I can't recall,
setting moons and rolling fog,
shifting gears next to my cogs.

For days that are past, you're smoother than glass.
You're kissing my neck and leaving with class.
Selling my soul for a look in your eyes,
facing my fears and a ticket to ride.
scream it

me and PUSSY FOOT [12 Jun 2008|11:36pm]
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:42:25 PM): mis youuu
aerobz78 (10:42:39 PM): miss ya to
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:42:50 PM): tell me something beautiful
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:42:58 PM): something that will make me smile for the next 4 months
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:43:15 PM): i really really wish you were here for the summer cooper!
aerobz78 (11:05:28 PM): im sry
aerobz78 (11:05:47 PM): my dads in rehab agian haha does tht make u laugh
aerobz78 (11:06:04 PM): haha it makes me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:06:11 PM): what.
aerobz78 (11:06:14 PM): hahaha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:06:16 PM): why doesn't that surprise me
aerobz78 (11:06:20 PM): haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:06:24 PM): im sorry.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:06:28 PM): hapy fathers day
aerobz78 (11:06:30 PM): and i stripped last night
aerobz78 (11:06:36 PM): haha
aerobz78 (11:06:42 PM): im a rebel haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:06:42 PM): DID YOU LOVE IT?!
aerobz78 (11:06:50 PM): omg it was amazing'
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:06:51 PM): omg, im so happy for you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:06:52 PM): lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:07:03 PM): this is so wierd hahaha but im happy you did it!
aerobz78 (11:07:13 PM): it was a rush dont let amand r anyone that it will getaround tho no
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:07:20 PM): i wont
aerobz78 (11:07:32 PM): u good it was so refreshing and crazy
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:07:43 PM):
aerobz78 (11:07:45 PM): i felt like i was on druga haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:07:48 PM): ahahhaa
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:07:55 PM): you make a lot of monies?
aerobz78 (11:08:07 PM): $150
aerobz78 (11:08:15 PM): i won best stripper
aerobz78 (11:08:16 PM): haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:08:23 PM): lmfao. of course you did!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:08:34 PM): fucking pussy foot wins EVERYTHING
aerobz78 (11:08:35 PM): i payed for in two hours hha
aerobz78 (11:08:41 PM): hahhahah
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:08:58 PM): but yeah, hes in rehab for alcohol only right?
aerobz78 (11:09:24 PM): ya i think he has done drugs tho i think i dont really care tho
aerobz78 (11:09:43 PM): 2nd thrid and fourth times a charm riht
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:10:03 PM): no. 55th i hear
aerobz78 (11:10:09 PM): oh ya
aerobz78 (11:10:13 PM): deff.
aerobz78 (11:10:18 PM): FOR SER.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:10:19 PM): for ser.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:10:20 PM): lmfao!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:10:35 PM): what time is it?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:10:42 PM): its 11.10 here
aerobz78 (11:11:06 PM): 8:10 its still light out
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:11:40 PM): it's been dark here for days
aerobz78 (11:12:08 PM): haha its cause im not there
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:12:22 PM): yeah, i feel like in im silent hill
aerobz78 (11:12:37 PM): haha omg that was so scarey dont even
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:12:42 PM): ahahhaa
aerobz78 (11:13:47 PM): so whats new with u
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:13:50 PM): uhm,,,,,
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:00 PM): i ran over a stop sign
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:02 PM): i think i told you
aerobz78 (11:14:06 PM): yup
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:08 PM): hahaha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:09 PM): yeah
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:15 PM): im dating this boy named patrick
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:17 PM): he's sweet
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:19 PM): hes 24
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:26 PM): goes to school in binghamton
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:29 PM): blabla, hes so hott
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:37 PM): great body
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:39 PM): whooo! lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:47 PM): and im dating this boy named steven
aerobz78 (11:14:57 PM): ohhh thats fun.. im an addict... to sex and the city. my roomate has all ten seasons i cant stop wacthing it
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:58 PM): hes really sweet, super smart
aerobz78 (11:15:11 PM): hahah fuck him marry him and take his money
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:15:13 PM): they both make great money
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:15:15 PM): aahaha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:15:19 PM): yeah steve live sin clarks summit
aerobz78 (11:15:35 PM): shit wow
aerobz78 (11:15:54 PM): marry hm then take his money
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:15:57 PM): uhm what else, oh i did my first head of highlights like a week ago
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:16:00 PM): cam e out amazing
aerobz78 (11:16:09 PM): cool
aerobz78 (11:16:15 PM): omg awsome
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:16:24 PM): how about you?
aerobz78 (11:16:27 PM): what
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:16:30 PM): anything new?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:16:42 PM): oh, im getting a tattoo for you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:16:44 PM): dont know what thou
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:16:51 PM): nothing cheesy like yoru name or anything
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:16:56 PM): probably lyrics
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:17:13 PM): something small-ish
aerobz78 (11:17:27 PM): alcoholics, stripping, ya i think thats it im like samantha from sex and the city im crazy down here with men i cant help it everyone in san Fran is gay and looks at me!!!
aerobz78 (11:17:29 PM): ooohhh ya
aerobz78 (11:17:53 PM): plaese dont
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:17:58 PM): what why
aerobz78 (11:18:01 PM): u have enough
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:18:07 PM): no, im getting tons more
aerobz78 (11:18:12 PM): no ur not
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:18:13 PM): i thought you'd be happy
aerobz78 (11:18:15 PM): stop
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:18:17 PM): you ungrateful bitch
aerobz78 (11:18:24 PM): stop~!!!!
aerobz78 (11:18:27 PM): no mas
aerobz78 (11:18:50 PM): ur a big enouh rebel ..d ont
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:18:58 PM): ... it's not about rebilion
aerobz78 (11:19:06 PM): ooooooo ok
aerobz78 (11:19:31 PM): its about expression... ya ya .. then fucking draw .. just not on urself
aerobz78 (11:19:42 PM): kk
aerobz78 (11:19:54 PM): ok well now that thats over what else is new?
aerobz78 (11:20:33 PM): ogh now ur going to ignore me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:20:47 PM): you're a hooker
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:20:52 PM): nothing much else is new
aerobz78 (11:20:53 PM): no im not
aerobz78 (11:21:01 PM): stripper
aerobz78 (11:21:14 PM): totaly diff.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:21:22 PM): i didnt mean it like that
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:21:27 PM): i ment you're a hooker
aerobz78 (11:21:29 PM): hha i no
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:21:32 PM): as in i hate you right now
aerobz78 (11:21:50 PM): pretty soon im waiting for my liceince in the mail haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:22:11 PM): for?
aerobz78 (11:22:16 PM): hy papi 200 doallars and u can do anythinghaha
aerobz78 (11:22:32 PM): prostitution ... its a joke
aerobz78 (11:22:41 PM): ugh n/m
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:22:51 PM): hahaha
aerobz78 (11:23:35 PM): oh hey if u ever by my house stop by and say hi to my mom she is kinda by herself and sometimes amanda is there.. but shes going to the beach on sat. but just stop by fast and say hi!
aerobz78 (11:23:52 PM): dont scare her tho
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:23:55 PM): ok, i will
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:23:58 PM): lmfao, i wont
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:09 PM): i attacked her and yoru dad a the mall last week
aerobz78 (11:24:11 PM): dont be like omg i fucked this guy yest.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:12 PM): they seemed happy
aerobz78 (11:24:13 PM): haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:25 PM): they were stting in the food court
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:35 PM): and i snuck up behind her and was like give me all your money!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:37 PM): and she screamed
aerobz78 (11:24:38 PM): ya she say a&f and smelt the colgne and started crying cause she thought of me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:38 PM): lmfao
aerobz78 (11:24:44 PM): haha so cute she made me cry
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:58 PM): haha, yeah, i can't walk by there
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:25:01 PM): for ser.
aerobz78 (11:25:08 PM): ohhh hhaaha u have to
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:25:14 PM): no, i go around
aerobz78 (11:25:30 PM): haha just be like this store suxs without adam
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:25:32 PM): but yeah, she screamed really loud when i did that
aerobz78 (11:25:43 PM): did i tell u i work at the one in San Fran
aerobz78 (11:25:52 PM): ya not good she hates that
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:25:56 PM): nope
aerobz78 (11:26:03 PM): its the 5th best one in the world
aerobz78 (11:26:18 PM): isnt that awesome its so strict and huge and amazing
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:26:23 PM): ohhh i read it in amandas comment you left her
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:26:30 PM): yeah, congrats!
aerobz78 (11:26:30 PM): i could only ear grey and white
aerobz78 (11:26:39 PM): so i had to buy new cothes
aerobz78 (11:26:45 PM): cool cool
aerobz78 (11:26:52 PM): ya it was kinda hard to get in haha
aerobz78 (11:27:01 PM): there so strict
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:27:18 PM): well of course you got in
aerobz78 (11:27:24 PM): hahabut its fun there is so many hot people and there from other countries like italy and eurpoe
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:27:25 PM): fuck, have you looked in the mirror?!
aerobz78 (11:27:52 PM): hahah funny no i gained wieght out here caue of me working all the time and not going to the gym
aerobz78 (11:28:06 PM): wel noot gained but lost muscle im upset
aerobz78 (11:28:21 PM): but shopping here is amazing i just bought these deisel jeans
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:28:41 PM): hotttttt
aerobz78 (11:28:52 PM): at a thrift store u can sell ur clothes and buy new clothes from other peope that are cheap and a good label like american apperl and shit
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:29:00 PM): fuck!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:29:06 PM): get me a souvenier
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:29:07 PM): lol
aerobz78 (11:29:07 PM): i am going to be working there
aerobz78 (11:29:19 PM): hopfully
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:29:26 PM): ill send you my OLD NAVY clothes
aerobz78 (11:29:30 PM): hahah
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:29:31 PM): see how much theyu're worth
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:29:32 PM): lmfao
aerobz78 (11:29:33 PM): k deff
aerobz78 (11:29:53 PM): no hey only except like good well known clothing tht peope will buy
aerobz78 (11:29:55 PM): haha
aerobz78 (11:29:59 PM): sry
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:30:05 PM): HWAT?!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:30:08 PM): OLDNAVY IS THE SHIT MAN
aerobz78 (11:30:34 PM): haha yaa....... duhh... thats what everyone is raving about down here
aerobz78 (11:30:37 PM): HAHA
aerobz78 (11:30:55 PM): i am going to be such a snob when i get back
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:31:03 PM): eww
aerobz78 (11:31:08 PM): hahah
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:31:10 PM): you already were
aerobz78 (11:31:13 PM): dont even
aerobz78 (11:31:29 PM): i no but im getting better ive ben practicing
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:31:35 PM): PRACTICING?!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:31:36 PM): hahah
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:31:38 PM): for what
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:31:43 PM): "just adam"!
aerobz78 (11:31:43 PM): haha j/k
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:31:44 PM): haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:31:52 PM): well, im going to bedsie now
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:32:00 PM): good night my little hooker
aerobz78 (11:32:00 PM): oh haha did u see my mood on facebook
aerobz78 (11:32:07 PM): wait
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:32:09 PM): miss you pussy foot
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:32:12 PM): no, what is it?
aerobz78 (11:32:14 PM): look what it says
aerobz78 (11:32:24 PM): fast read it
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:32:44 PM): skyler?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:32:49 PM): is that sals borhter?
aerobz78 (11:33:02 PM): thats my porn star nameHAHAHAHAHA
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:33:07 PM): infantino
aerobz78 (11:33:09 PM): well strippr namw
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:33:12 PM): ....he's going to see that
aerobz78 (11:33:31 PM): its the only name i could think of at the time and good he wont no what it means tho
aerobz78 (11:33:32 PM): haha
aerobz78 (11:33:40 PM): im on the web to .. like my pic
aerobz78 (11:33:42 PM): for the site
aerobz78 (11:33:44 PM): haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:33:53 PM): ... oh god, ill see it sometime soon
aerobz78 (11:34:01 PM): he wont no what it means and its my stripper name hahaha
aerobz78 (11:34:17 PM): so fucking funn im bust out laughing right now
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:34:23 PM): ahaha.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:34:24 PM): ok
aerobz78 (11:34:28 PM): dont even say thats not pay back and fucking funny
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:34:29 PM): you ! haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:34:38 PM): im like fallign asleep here
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:34:42 PM): mr. infentino
aerobz78 (11:34:52 PM): boooo ok go to bed
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:34:53 PM): goodnight, goodluck and good love<2
aerobz78 (11:34:56 PM): boooo!!
aerobz78 (11:35:04 PM): fucking call me some timeASS
aerobz78 (11:35:08 PM): peac
aerobz78 (11:35:34 PM): remeber dont tell anyone except people we can trust.. i dotn think kriten should no she might tell alot f people
aerobz78 (11:35:44 PM): night
scream it

THIS IS BRUCEr' [12 Apr 2008|10:09am]
I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid.



-GOOD WILL HUNTING.
scream it

just to explain.. [25 Feb 2008|09:07pm]
It's how you wanted it to be
It's like you played a joke on me
And I lost a friend
In the end
And I think that I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I'm never going back
To who I was


Excuse me, won't you step aside?
I ain’t got no room for you in my life
I don’t got the patience to love again
I don’t got the guts to keep you as a friend



still we sit and wonder
what could have been




Some you lose
and some you give away




Trying so hard to forget
That even brighter days are so sad since you left





[sometimes i wish that i was the weather
you'd bring me up in conversation forever
and when it rained, i'd be the talk of the day]





,, i was just browsing blurty and some blogs and found these quotes.
some of them really couldn't put it any better as to how i feel towards him.
its like,,, god i fucking love him,, but i know he;s no good for me, i just need to let it go.
and besides,, he isn't the same person. he has changed so much and hes making it easier to let him go.
i just hope that someday he can apreciate me, the way i do him. i adore him still, and i wish nothing but the best for him. but if im going to get any better... he needs to dissapear.
scream it

[06 Feb 2008|10:49pm]
I watch you like a midnight movie
You, you act as if you never knew me


... and greg just called.
and once again, he drove me to hang up on him.
hes so inconsiderate. but only to my feelings.
everyone elses,, hes so in tune as to what they want.. hes so ready to make them feel better.

i remember when i was the one he cared about,, wtf.
scream it

and the convo went something like this; [28 Jan 2008|11:28pm]
XtremE0204 (10:38:17 PM): sup?


Auto Response from papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:38:17 PM): out with the old && in with the new <2


papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:38:24 PM): lol. hi.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:38:36 PM): im such a brat/baby... im to afraid to talk to you on the phone
XtremE0204 (10:38:41 PM): y?
XtremE0204 (10:38:50 PM): am i intimidating?
XtremE0204 (10:38:51 PM): lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:39:01 PM): haha, no lol. the opposite... i usually blurt out the truth
XtremE0204 (10:39:09 PM): like what?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:39:57 PM): well. okay, to be honest. i HATE playing games. like the mixed signals and all that. and im horrrible at telling if someone is into me. so i usually just make the first move when i like someone
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:40:13 PM): sooo, here i go lol.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:40:16 PM): i like you alot.
XtremE0204 (10:40:17 PM): i think we already made the move....
XtremE0204 (10:40:23 PM): i like you too
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:40:39 PM): ahh,, physically yeah we made it... but theres still all this unspoken stuff that im confused about
XtremE0204 (10:40:55 PM): like what?
XtremE0204 (10:41:20 PM): the 120 miles is the only thing keeping me from being with you.... truthful enough?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:41:57 PM): idn, well apparently i kept mentioning crystal at your house.. and i want to clear the air... i dont have a connectiong with her, like shes hott and fun and blablabla... but we just mess around and hangout alot.. shes like a bestfreind that likes to kiss me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:42:24 PM): so, she already knows this, but if i found someone i liked id dump her in a heart beat
XtremE0204 (10:43:47 PM): i understand that. I realllllly like you. seriously. problem is that Ive never had a long distance relationship that works. Im nervous of ruining something good.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:44:08 PM): ruining?..
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:44:13 PM): *jessica moment*
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:44:23 PM): how would it get ruined?
XtremE0204 (10:44:24 PM): messing up
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:44:45 PM): no i know what ruined means lmfao.. i just dont get howw wed e=ruin it
XtremE0204 (10:44:50 PM): well. Its just not worked in my 4 years at college
XtremE0204 (10:45:09 PM): ruined=killing, messing up
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:45:52 PM): i hateee "what ifs" dont you?
XtremE0204 (10:46:07 PM): i haven't stopped thinking about you though.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:46:27 PM): since me cumming twice? haha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:46:31 PM): thanks by the way
XtremE0204 (10:46:47 PM): lol. yes, but also just you being awesome
XtremE0204 (10:47:03 PM): and forgiving......... since i have shown you my stupid side and you let it go
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:47:32 PM): lol, that was nothing.
XtremE0204 (10:47:54 PM): well, it was still shitty of me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:48:10 PM): and i always think about you,, but up until... just now it was mostly just contemplating if the feelings were mutual.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:48:29 PM): and i know the long distance thing is shitty,, but honestly; you're so worth it
XtremE0204 (10:48:42 PM): they're mutual, believe me.
XtremE0204 (10:49:29 PM): however, I think we'd be jumping into something that will be rough, at least until my recital is over.
XtremE0204 (10:50:34 PM): I know I can't commit enough time for a g/f until thats over...... I don't expect you to wait for me, but i do hope to god you're still available after feb 20th
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:52:00 PM): ..im not going anywhere. theres just something about you. i'll waituntil like may lol, if it means that after that you would be willing to really try it
XtremE0204 (10:52:01 PM): no comment?
XtremE0204 (10:52:52 PM): im willing..... as long as u understand that my music comes before anything else..... a lot of people (even just friends) can't ahndle being 2nd to anything
XtremE0204 (10:54:17 PM): so????
XtremE0204 (10:54:53 PM): you can still come and see me whenever tho. you're always welcome.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:55:24 PM): lol, that was very honest. im trying to think.... of the truth... well,, you have to wait for things that are worth it, and im willing to compromise.
XtremE0204 (10:55:54 PM): im always honest. don't worry bout it.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:56:34 PM): i totally understand that you're driven and you're in college for the music. butt, since you're being to truthful... after feb 20th,,, do you really think you'll have more time?
XtremE0204 (10:57:00 PM): I think youll see me back home a little more than once a month.
XtremE0204 (10:57:29 PM): plus, if you find a friend who can stay overnight here, you're welcome to come down here any weekend
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:58:19 PM): sweet.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:58:55 PM): oH! and ive been meaning to ask you,,, are you dating anyone at lv?
XtremE0204 (10:59:04 PM): no.
XtremE0204 (11:00:13 PM): truthfully, girls here suck. I do have some friends who are girls, but there's no connection
XtremE0204 (11:00:17 PM): not like we had
XtremE0204 (11:00:36 PM): have*
XtremE0204 (11:00:39 PM): lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:00:51 PM): oh, you and me! lol. that went over my head
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:01:09 PM): yeah, its really wierd.. well, not weird, just different.
XtremE0204 (11:01:17 PM): what is?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:01:26 PM): our connection
XtremE0204 (11:01:35 PM): how is it weird?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:01:49 PM): i feel like a little kid lol. i didnt mean wierd,, its wierd in a ...great way
XtremE0204 (11:02:14 PM): like a little kid? how so?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:02:24 PM): lol, this is coming out all wrong
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:02:36 PM): its like,,, a crush lol.
XtremE0204 (11:02:36 PM): thats what she said
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:02:38 PM): jajajajaj
XtremE0204 (11:02:40 PM): lol
XtremE0204 (11:02:49 PM): you mean hahahaha
XtremE0204 (11:02:57 PM): lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:03:02 PM): lol, its the spanish haha lol
XtremE0204 (11:03:18 PM): ok, ang h and j are very colse on the keyboard.
XtremE0204 (11:03:23 PM): and*
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:03:28 PM): lol. yeah that too!
XtremE0204 (11:03:47 PM): damnit, i make a misspelling while making fun of you misspelling
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:04:02 PM): lol, yeah, figures
XtremE0204 (11:05:22 PM): just a warning though, you're going to have to fend off the 300 girls that want me so badly..... lmao jk
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:05:49 PM): lol, well.... speaking of that. i tend to have lots of guy freinds
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:05:58 PM): aand, as you can tell.. i come off as flirty
XtremE0204 (11:06:12 PM): well. don't do anything with them and i don't give a shit
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:06:35 PM): lol, im not THAT flirty lol. and i wouldnt
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:06:58 PM): even just knowing we may have something after like march.. i wouldn't do anything until then either
XtremE0204 (11:07:29 PM): well, just sayin. i told you what happened to my ex who cheated on me...... I get ugly quick.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:07:56 PM): oh, you like your car dont you?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:08:05 PM): ... yeah, that will get ugly quick if you cheat on me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:08:05 PM): lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:08:10 PM): im vindictive.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:08:29 PM): haha, im kidding, i owuldnt hurt your car.
XtremE0204 (11:08:31 PM): lol. u gona fuck up my car? lol. I have good insurance........
XtremE0204 (11:08:36 PM): jk'
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:08:38 PM): hahahhaaha
XtremE0204 (11:08:59 PM): brb. gotta pee
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:09:17 PM): k
XtremE0204 (11:10:54 PM): bak
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:11:18 PM): : D
XtremE0204 (11:12:47 PM): just a warning, im running on battery power, and my comp blows. so, i got like 10 mins left
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:13:15 PM): k, thats perfect bc i have to get to bed in like 15 mins anyways
XtremE0204 (11:13:24 PM): ic. work tomorrow?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:13:29 PM): yeaah lol, blows
XtremE0204 (11:13:43 PM): you do dietary where?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:13:44 PM): buuut once i start getting pay checks i can come down a little more often
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:13:52 PM): no, i work with stocks
XtremE0204 (11:13:58 PM): oh, thats cool
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:13:58 PM): like the stock market
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:14:08 PM): ehh,, lol people are angry when it comes to money
XtremE0204 (11:14:27 PM): what do you do with them? lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:15:10 PM): i like, set up accounts with prudential and cigna
XtremE0204 (11:15:17 PM): wow. thats cool
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:15:19 PM): and sometimes i deal with peoples health benefits
XtremE0204 (11:15:53 PM): i love how you say youre the brazilian jessica but youre actually very smart, lol
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:16:30 PM): lol, im pretty booksmart, which most people dont believe. but i have,,, nooo common sense
XtremE0204 (11:17:08 PM): lol. you have street smarts, which i don't have
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:17:20 PM): oh! oh!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:17:26 PM): question, before you get kicked off
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:17:39 PM): its been on my mind since sat. night.
XtremE0204 (11:17:47 PM): yeah?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:18:03 PM): lol, this is going to come out really wierd... but why didnt you want to have sex with me?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:18:14 PM): i kind of felt like i did something wrong??
XtremE0204 (11:19:02 PM): because i really like you. I try to be classy, I don't feel as though we realllly know enough yet. I feel as though you should know a person's job before you do that, lol. Understand?
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:19:33 PM): oh. fair enough lol
XtremE0204 (11:20:19 PM): i didn't mean to offend you.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:20:25 PM): thats just not the typical guy thing lol. i just assumed since i was sleeping in your bed you were going to try something, and then you didnt and i was like.. "?!" lol, and thats were even more confusion came in.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:20:37 PM): oh no, it didnt offend me,, i was just reaaally shocked, and in a way impressed
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:20:40 PM): times 10 lol
XtremE0204 (11:21:27 PM): well, i try, lol. jk
XtremE0204 (11:21:52 PM): my parents raised me right...... don't know what happened to my brother, lmao
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:21:59 PM): lol, hes,,,, a charecter
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:22:27 PM): i think i grew on him by the end of the night lol.. he was all... whyyyy arent you guys dating yet?! its apparent eric likes you! lol.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:22:57 PM): and he was telling me that you're finally listening to him,, bc hes been telling you to get an exotic girl for the longest time. hes so cute. i want him and crystal to hook up
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:23:06 PM): they both need a good lay with no connections
XtremE0204 (11:23:27 PM): warning: hes a major player. Ive never seen him stay loyal to a girl.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:23:32 PM): never?
XtremE0204 (11:23:36 PM): my battery's dying
XtremE0204 (11:23:53 PM): not to my recollection
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:04 PM): k, wellll, ill text you tomorrow night. hopefully we'll be able to talk to a while longer
XtremE0204 (11:24:24 PM): you're allowed to call me..... lol. ill call u some time tomorrow
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:32 PM): and thanks for coming on tonite : D. i've wanted to say this since... well since i came to lv
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:24:50 PM): lol, i wanst sure actually bc i know you're busy. just wanted you to know you have total space.
XtremE0204 (11:25:18 PM): icic. its quite alright. hope I didn't upset u...... just until feb 20th I need to have 1 focus
XtremE0204 (11:25:29 PM): BTW, you better be here that night......
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:25:42 PM): oh i will,, ill call of work if i have to
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:25:48 PM): offff
XtremE0204 (11:25:51 PM): 7:30 feb 20th.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:26:05 PM): k, you'll have to keep reminding me.
XtremE0204 (11:26:18 PM): i will, dont worry
papeRxheaRts x 2 (11:26:19 PM): but, goodnight, and... you're great! lol
XtremE0204 (11:26:38 PM): night hun. and youre amazing.... i think i told u that a binch of times
XtremE0204 (11:26:42 PM): bunch*







andddddd, im so stoked. i finally have someone that's worth my time! and i know itll work.. and its actually great bc i need my space,,, which he has to give me lol. and i wont see him 24/7 so it'll be a million times greater when i do see him and kiss those AMAZING lips of his.


OHOHOH..! and btw, he likes to bite! ahhhhh i was sooo intrigued and shocked!. hes great and i caaan't wait until feb 20th!
scream it

and if i must say so myself.. [28 Jan 2008|10:26pm]
i love that im waiting to have sex with him.
im like starting over,, its weird.

i really want this to be perfect and special, and i know it will be.


good things come to those who wait,, and my god,,,, hes worth the wait.
scream it

and saturday night [28 Jan 2008|10:22pm]
was perfect. i couldn't have asked for a better first kiss between the two of us.
the chemistry was great, and i just couldn't get enough of him


and sleeping next to him brought back some memories, but at the same time..
it made me completely forget about him, bc whenever i looked over at eric, i realized
that he's so much more. that im truely happy, and that i haven't been in such a long time.

and the whole car ride home tonite, bee just totally reminded me of how much better off i really am.



and things are finally looking up.
scream it

AHAHAHAHAHA [22 Jan 2008|10:37pm]
Do you know this person? Report IM Spam
GooG3ry (10:16:41 PM): im srry about last night
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:16:56 PM): stop
GooG3ry (10:17:25 PM): im just tellin you because i should have never did that i wasn't in the right state of mind
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:17:43 PM): stop.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:17:53 PM): dont come up with excuses either.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:17:56 PM): im sick and tired
GooG3ry (10:18:27 PM): im not im just im srry
GooG3ry (10:19:26 PM): i doon't care if u don't talk to me becasue that would be good for the both of us
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:19:39 PM): oh i know
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:19:42 PM): trust me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:19:51 PM): just stop, im sick of you lieing
GooG3ry (10:19:51 PM): ok bye
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:21:45 PM): im sorry about all the lies i've told you.
GooG3ry (10:21:49 PM): like what


Auto Response from papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:21:55 PM): "my poor poor pussy needs some good old familiar dick or atleast a few fingers to stop by and wave hello"
- ishle park


GooG3ry (10:22:12 PM): hahaha ur funny
GooG3ry (10:22:42 PM): ur just like all the other girls around here u dont mean shit
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:22:55 PM): to YOU lol.
GooG3ry (10:23:17 PM): well to the other guys that don't know u its diff hahaha wait till they find out eveything ur fucked for life
GooG3ry (10:23:29 PM): u have some many scars that will never heel you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:23:52 PM): hahaa, considering all the girls you've dated fuck you over somehow... i think its YOU
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:24:02 PM): and you have no clue about my scars
GooG3ry (10:24:08 PM): nooo im just to nice and 2 good for most of them
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:24:19 PM): ohhhh right
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:24:22 PM): too gooddd
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:24:24 PM): forgot.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:24:36 PM): k well, goodluck with being so nice and so good
GooG3ry (10:24:51 PM): dont try and act like u hate me because ur the one who said u loved me like a moron last night
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:25:10 PM): .. well i do, i love the old you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:25:16 PM): not this bitchass you are now
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:25:25 PM): you're fake. and everyone sees it.
GooG3ry (10:25:19 PM): hahaha bitchass
GooG3ry (10:25:38 PM): the people you talk to about me becasue they don't know me either
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:26:01 PM): no, i talk to people that doo know you
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:26:10 PM): and that warned me all along
GooG3ry (10:26:40 PM): ok mike? caroline and whoever there all fucked thereselves and i can give a shit what the people u kno say about me
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:26:58 PM): and YOU'RE the moron who told me you loved me three nights ago
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:27:05 PM): so fuck affff
GooG3ry (10:27:03 PM): i didn't mean it
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:27:14 PM): ohhh bullfuckingshit
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:27:17 PM): you fucking cocksucker
GooG3ry (10:27:25 PM): hahaha
GooG3ry (10:27:32 PM): i haven't for the past month
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:27:44 PM): cute!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:28:06 PM): yay you! if you only knew about the truth of the past.. hmmm.. like 4 months. hahaha
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:28:08 PM): bye greg!!!!
GooG3ry (10:29:14 PM): hahaha i can careless because i expected it from you and u were just a good fuck the whole time and i don't care if you cheated on me or ne thing
GooG3ry (10:29:37 PM): ur worthless
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:30:07 PM): AHAHAHAHA. yay!
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:30:10 PM): i win.
papeRxheaRts x 2 (10:30:14 PM): once again. byeeee
GooG3ry (10:30:22 PM): whatever you say
scream it

oh!oh! [21 Jan 2008|10:38pm]
and just for the record... he talked dirty just like old times.
and he looked me in the eyes when he was kissing me outside of the lanes.
he looked soo sad and his eyes were the greenest. and he said "i shouldnt be doing this bc im talking to someone" and then he continued to kiss me! hes a fucking cuntbag.

and im GLAD he feels bad. im GLAD he regrets it. i hope it fucks him up. that little prickbitch.
fucking drug addicted asshole. hes going nowhere and he's going to end up JUST LIKE HIS PARENTS.


god. i have so many horrible things to say about him, but i guess i shouldnt.
he's going to be stuck with someone who doesn't love him. who can't/will NEVER love him as much as i did.


ahahaha. i hope she loves licking his asshole! BC HE DOESSSSS
scream it

and tonite [21 Jan 2008|10:36pm]
we fucked in the back of his car.
and he finally admitted the truth;
he doesn't love me.. and apparently,, he never did.


kills me,, just kills me.




he'll regret this someday, when im drowning in a tub of my own blood.
scream it

dig the knife a little deeper [16 Dec 2007|02:23pm]
GooG3ry (1:17:48 PM): i love you

and he sent that to me about 5 mins ago, and then signed off.
no "hey whats up?" just BOOM. trying to bring me down again.
i really can't deal with this right now. my day is already shot,,
and i hate remembering that he's not mine. i actually, almost
called him this morning, because for a few minutes, i forgot...
that he doesn't want me anymore.


i love him. and i hate it.
scream it

[15 Dec 2007|02:47pm]
and its over.. he said he just "Doesn't feel the same"

,,, i guess i was right,, everyone was right.
and the funny thing is; he told me to promise him
i wouldn't give up on us, that i wouldn't break up with him.
and then two days later he's calling it quits.




never again will i open up to someone like that.,, just the night before
i was telling him that i was completely opening up to him, that i knew
it was real (on my part)..... never again will i put down my wall.
and then people wonder why i cheat, and i do things, and i keep this wall up
it's so that fuckers like him dont completely ruin me. im broken,
and it's going to take a very love time to fix myself.


i really love him. and i fucking hate it. i'll get over it,, some way or another.





"the deeper you stick it in your vein; the deeper the thoughts, theres no more pain
i'm in heaven, im a god, im everywhere; i feel so hott."
scream it

and [15 Dec 2007|12:08am]
its the same thing.. day in and day out.

fuck.
scream it

http://jimmyrigged.tumblr.com/page/5 [14 Dec 2007|01:16am]
great siiightttt
scream it

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