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Below are the 26 most recent journal entries recorded in
emotinally FUKED's Blurty:
| Sunday, June 17th, 2007 | ||
| 6:43 pm | cause they DeeRox Current Mood:  blahCurrent Music: michael jackson..thriller | |
| Sunday, May 20th, 2007 | ||
| 12:35 am | everytime I kiss him I want too reach to the sky "the feeling when you have the one you love...the never ending nights ...it reaches to the point where you only wish you can be with them forever but the obsticles that interfer both of you always manage to take over.... but I'm in love with the guy I've always wished for ...even though we've been threw so many lows and highs together I can breath once more and thank god for sending him for letting us stay together ...even after all the cheats hatred lies we went threw... we were both strong too survive...the thought of being with him for my future gets a smile in my face wanting him too be something worth waiting for always gets too me I want him too be sucessfull even after all the struggles his going threw right now with school but both we will survive and make things last because I'm glad that I've found the one who makes me complete the one who I wake up and think about every morning my first cellphone call always his..my last night call ghis... I love you cristian corado aldana and I am glad you came into my life since may 2nd 2002 that thursday ...was memorable... now I'm off to sleep with a smile on my face cause I have what I've always wished for..goodnight everyone... Dee Current Mood:  lovedCurrent Music: fall put boy this aint a scene its an arms race | |
| Thursday, April 26th, 2007 | ||
| 7:43 am | he who cares Deerox ♥ why can we just set our hearts too love only those that love us ?? Current Mood:  depressedCurrent Music: kascade..who I'm hoping too see in concert | |
| Wednesday, April 18th, 2007 | ||
| 11:00 pm | nothing I ever wanted... Current Mood: sad... Current Music: riseagainst my heart has been broken into two | |
| Sunday, April 15th, 2007 | ||
| 2:23 pm | that pain that he gives me is the one that hurts. DeeRox all i ever wanted was for him too succed and be something smart.. and leave all druggy friends behind i didnt succed hopefully someone else take my place.. cause im tired of trying .. buh byes... Current Mood: hurt in the chest Current Music: jedi mind trick- razor blades... | |
| Monday, April 17th, 2006 | ||
| 9:47 am | accomplishing wat i always wanted the most i am closer to an end in this highskoo year.. for most last i would say 8 weeks left of skoo spring break over... last in high skoo yet im glad cause i have those parents that are feelin accomplished proud of having a daughter like me.. since im the first ...not considering the brother.. but soon i'll be attending film school i supposed .. since i dont want attend any community college but we will see how it all goes.... Current Mood:  contentCurrent Music: coldplay-speed of sound | |
| Monday, October 17th, 2005 | ||
| 1:22 pm | All I ever waNted from That day was Too...pick up All the Pieces n But them back together my WAY It started out innocently enough: Current Mood: coldCurrent Music: Aesop!... | |
| Saturday, October 15th, 2005 | ||
| 11:40 am | hm.. so many word for u that should be left UNSAID !... Current Mood:  sickCurrent Music: ghetto- aKon | |
| Wednesday, September 14th, 2005 | ||
| 7:09 pm | reality !... Your first loves are always the ones that hurt the most ..(czr).. Words !…. This year I’ve comed to realize a lot of thigs I’ve become a wiser person a caring one .. Reaching for my goalz and I hope I achieve them even though there’s always people trying to bring me down … but like those I would learn to persuade anyone … something knew has entered my life that’s changed me in a whole different mentally way.. infatuation, interested, and has helped me a lot become a better person… vyck ..even though we’ve never got along with a lot of shit we had between each other hes always been there no lie ive pushed him away ive cursed at him but yet hes always there trying to help me to become someone in life !.. And like that I am thankful for everything.. someone’s whos smart someone who actually goes home and tries to understand in what I talk about and what do I mean when I say I love something … always trying new things … this year I hope it goes by fast because I already want to get out !.. Im tired of being in school high school little drama is what I really hate I don’t need any of that immature childish life in mine.. Im excited towards my future my career I already want to start attending Film School … some thing ive always desired !… caught up I am this year with all these Ap classes I’ve decided to take CHALLENGES in my life cause I knw I am capable of handling them.. Busy busy busy I wanna be!!.. Its 6:22 right now my bday in time !.. What does this say … ? .. A Lot well like my mother once told me Diane life is hard it doesn’t come easy and now I understand exactly what she was talking about even though shes being very strict with me this year I guess cause its my senior year shes always Oky with CZR comin over spending the night here … there comes a time when u really have to say life is beautiful …ugly for 3 days beautiful for 7.… hypocrisy is something I cant really stand right now !… she is…. is painting the picture right in front of my face and behind me shes trying to destroy it well.. She already did cause I don’t see her as nottin .. Other than damn hunny I wish u luck with that fake attitude… or face I would say !…. I lost someone but like they say …”losing someone ..you receive someone whos twice as good..” … one thing I can dislike is not being friends with someone and havin them talk all there nonsense to everyone else around me ..but like that yet ive tried and I guess I wasn’t successful but then im happy for them… my moms leavin us for 2 months shes off the 24th of this month not all things are goin great for my parents .. But like that I will still be strong and live my life and try not to let something like that bring me down yet slowly is really is …. Well IM off livIn this Simple Life !….. Ps… only things that’s real is my hip hop music!!!… I hate it when I come across someone and they get too attach to me and then its hard for them to understand the fact that I only see them as friends … It hurt me how I can be there hurting someones feelings not knowing how it feels … but I guess that’s REALITY and live it !…. .. ... Current Mood:  determinedCurrent Music: 3mgz- from a child into a man ... | |
| Friday, August 12th, 2005 | ||
| 2:02 pm | my state is not a island not a ocean not a road hmm why must i take actions that im not ready for !... ive been blind for years and now that ive awaken its something good ive done but theres always that feelin that keeps tellin me something is goin to be goin wrong why must i be soo pessimistic about taking my actions ?..... song says it all Sage Francis - Runaways Lyrics (Sage Francis) It's time to rethink every fact that is imaginable Survival instinct dwells in a past that is inhabitable I happen to pull fast ones over the slow parole board Who likes to speak to de-fanged wolves who cry sheep Time seeps into our skin, age indicates how long we've been lost in space I keep putting expression looks upon my face An awful waste of human skin who waits for Autumn to begin While far from grace, will do me in to late (I'm out of seasoning) No spring chickens, summer romance novel writer could win a prize It's Nobel, go to hell in a riding vehicle that he winterized I change my mind more often then my undergarments Abide abortion and other nonsense I'm an orphan who comes from Providence I am assigned from God! For the parentally misguided (And I know...) State is not an ocean, not an island, not a road If I don't know where I come from How do I know where to go? It's not where you're from, not where you're at It's where your going... and I am going home (And I know...) State is not an ocean, not an island, not a road If I don't know where I come from How do I know where to go? It's not where you're from, not where you're at It's where your going... and I am going home... ...to where? The land of the lost souls Feeling a loneliness that really only exists in abandoned foster homes How many images of missing kids can be fit onto a milk carton? Framed, they're starting to look the same Starting to say his name, and claim privileges As if they found HIM! The strangest little kids surrounding the circle of false friendship Rings of fire are connected at the elbow Cause they're tired, moms unexpectedly let go The Velcro light component that keeps there unit cohesive It's the music! So we give reasons to get sober Life experiences to hum to These kids play Red Rover? I look for weaknesses to run through With reckless abandon, they're standin', refuse to go down The pinballs in their machine bounce between abusive homes now If its fighter flats, they'll just choose to throw down Ain't nothing like beating a dead horse, riding it through a ghost town I move with no sound... I used to think I was invisible Til they stopped me in mid-stride and said 'I think I seen a picture of you...' Picture that, I said 'Nah I just got one of them faces Placed next to an expiration date that changes. I kind of look familiar, my name is at the tip of your tongue The lost look on my face makes you play dumb. Say something collopial I need to get my bearings and a feel for where I'm at but you ain't hearin' that.' They shout freeze! I'm a tourist trapped by townies Who put bounties on armies and all surrounding counties Before I bounce, I hear them shout 'Someone help us out, PLEASE!' We're all alone in the foster home Killin' ourselves with the house keys... Not every broken home can come equipped with a fix-it man And it's a smelly mess once the shit hits the fan Kids just stand in their circle jerks with there dicks in the sand Saying 'F**K THE WORLD' cause they aint got no girl But who do they think I am? Think again, I'm not that quick to plan ahead of time I'm two steps behind the schedule, they pretend to befriend my mind I think they just misread the lines in the palm of my hand Cause, they're random scars caused by slap boxin' with landlords I ran with the dogs till I realized they were all mutts Turned bitch once the dog catcher caught up Forced into trucks, boarded up, put to sleep in the pound Being an orphan sucks, but I'm done with sneaking around I see my frown posted up on street lights And telephone poles, from what they show it seems like I never grow old, from what they show it seems like I never go home, and that doesn't seem right Cause they won't let me grow... And this is where some go to avoid the sunrays and the noise of subways Emerging introverted, unemployed and unshaved I feel rewarded offering a finder's fee that I know no one will pay And this is where some go to avoid the sunrays and the noise of subways Emerging introverted, unemployed and unshaved I've got multiple personalities and my inner children are runaways (And I know...) State is not an ocean, not an island, not a road If I don't know where I come from How do I know where to go? It's not where you're from, not where you're at It's where your going... and I am going home... To the land of the lost souls Feeling a loneliness that really only exists in abandoned foster homes I feel rewarded offering a finder's fee that I know no one will pay I've got multiple personalities and my inner children are runaways I feel rewarded offering a finder's fee that I know no one will pay I've got multiple personalities and my inner children are runaways I feel rewarded offering a finder's fee that I know no one will pay I've got multiple personalities and my inner children are runaways... (kids shouting until end) Current Mood: calmCurrent Music: sage francis - runaways | |
| Sunday, May 29th, 2005 | ||
| 12:44 pm | my days consist of plain loneliness so far ..its been a while since ive updated.. but i feft like i couldnt really open up no more but then i realized what the use i mean.. theyres a lot of things i wished i had but yet i cant have everything ... and right now i dont have anything it suckz for me ...not wanting anyone too feel sorry but im goin through a lot i wished it was all just something diffeernt why treat me like this if i only knew why ?...maybe all these answers would be solve and theyre would be no point of the subject on this entri ... besdies only joyful rebelllion happyness but yet i guess im only young theres still the worst to come ... Current Mood: sadCurrent Music: a boy called it ... not music but movie ... | |
| Sunday, January 2nd, 2005 | ||
| 7:51 pm | meh! ITS FUCKIN 05 haha one more year til i graduate and step into the real world they call it hmm i guess ima be goin to a community college first an then probably try to get into USC or something that has to do with architecture !! my goals for this year get all mah shit straight try mah best not to get any D's starights C or maybe b or maybe A haha fo real so hmm ive been oky i guess new years went to vegas ... hmm i bought so many cd's Underground hip hop they call it !! haha i like Love sage Francis lyics like every part of them hmm .. waht else im lookin forward tO have so much Fun this year ... no more ..fights with mah moms hopefully hmm maybe head down to a lot of fuckin SHOWS and art galleries lookin forwards to this whole new year !!! well just an update January 22nd SABER ONE AND GIANT are gunna be at the Global in Pomona lookin forwards to that fo real !!... well not much see everyone lateX mi princess Current Mood: coldCurrent Music: sage francis - speacialist | |
| Tuesday, August 10th, 2004 | ||
| 8:18 pm | yup yup summer has been chill i havent really updated hmm i guess i forgot hehe well yeah not much buh bye d | |
| Friday, May 7th, 2004 | ||
| 6:23 pm | yah.. well waht can i say im alive not something good for those of u im just kidding but yeah , i've been alright i guess i mean im missing the good old days when all i used to do was laugh so hard and enjoy ever second of my life but lately like all these past days have been harsh all i have been doing is crying and crying yeah they say cry and cry cause its good for u i mean i dont see anything good arghh why am i like this i hate myself for being like this or acting like this sometimes i just wish that i wasnt born because really nottin is rigth at all !! in the morning i wake up saying ohh man another day maybe something good is goin to happen but no the worst things happen but yeah theres really nottini i can do about it .. just live my life like this !! Current Mood: depressedCurrent Music: the cure-creep | |
| Saturday, May 1st, 2004 | ||
| 12:54 pm | YO  | |
| 12:52 pm | YEAH YEAH YEAH center>     
| |
| Saturday, April 24th, 2004 | ||
| 1:06 pm | tears running down my cheecks why can't life just be perfect why does it have to treat me like this imagine the world being perfect geez i would be the happiest gurl in EARTH geez i hat eeverything ps: have i lost that someone already ?? hope not !! Current Mood: crushedCurrent Music: bob marley - no women no cry | |
| Monday, April 5th, 2004 | ||
| 2:18 pm | oky !! I MISS EVERYONE !!! GRACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<3 I love my Sexy COrado !!! Current Mood: happyCurrent Music: jimi hendrix - purple haze | |
| Monday, March 29th, 2004 | ||
| 8:29 pm | YAH so yah life was been going just great too busy though way to busy dudes summer is so salvi haha with my mom and sisters yippey but sadly ima miss mi cute hot sexy boyfriend cristian corado argh hes leaving why u gotta leave me haha im just kidding but yah no summer for us being together but its kool i still love u muchisimo haha well i have to go now buh bye bye bye bye i LOVE EVERY LIL SINGLE PART AND DETAIL OF U HAHA | |
| Monday, March 8th, 2004 | ||
| 7:20 pm | WOOzers so yah i havent really updated i've been way too busy haha well lets seee life was been great , i dont have a cell phone to top that lol im failing math fuk math fuk it lol i just quit on math already its fuckin gay lol well yah i have to go now sorry its pretty short but i love everyone out their who loves me too hehe Current Mood: chipperCurrent Music: placebo | |
| Sunday, February 15th, 2004 | ||
| 2:20 pm | Fuk this world!! Dude this is shit how can people steal from others it just makes me so mad angry wishing i can kill those bastards they stole more than 3.800 dollars from my friends car basicly they stole hes whole stereo system u dont even knw how mad this makes me and also fuckin pigs azzholes i hate fuckin cops they didnt even bother coming here to check dude theirs evidence theirs blood all over the car arghh u dont know how mad i am !! so yah change of subject hmm yesterday went to the bob marley Fes it was pretty tight my b/f spent more than 100 dollars on me which sux cause i kept telling him no dont buy me anything and yah he just kept buying me so yah my b/f was going to get hes tat yesterday but couldnt wow he was mad but yah hopefully today he gets it its going on the that 69 sign cancer sign and then in the middle its goin to say 6/22 i design it myself so yah well i have to go now not much to say ... Current Mood:  angryCurrent Music: bob marley-i shot the sheriff | |
| Sunday, February 8th, 2004 | ||
| 2:08 pm | So wut Now !! haha so yah im fuckin bored im listening to one of my fav bands hehe and yah im so upsesss with apc haha im so gonna get married with all of them and then ima **** and then **** im just kidding but yah im gettin married ILUVLP622: APC rules ohh my ima marry apc ILUVLP622: the whole band lol ILUVLP622: and have sex with all of them PiNoShAuN: ok PiNoShAuN: lol haha im already inviting people hehe AFIREINSIDE0622: hey u are invited to my wedding AFIREINSIDE0622: haha ima marry apc Pinksody: whose apc? AFIREINSIDE0622: one of my fav bands oky AFIREINSIDE0622: dont forget to come oky Pinksody: omg u are so crazy girl but yah i'll be there for u haha an more stupid people ILUVLP622: nestor u are invited to my wedding D u r t y 0 8: huh? ILUVLP622: ima marry apc !! D u r t y 0 8: a computer? ILUVLP622: yes nestor a computer lol ILUVLP622: no idiot a band and more and more lol ILUVLP622: hey u are invited to my wedding cantinflas323: nope cantinflas323: havent invited me ILUVLP622: no im tellin u in advanced ILUVLP622: haha cantinflas323: oh ok cantinflas323: i dont know ILUVLP622: u coming for sure ILUVLP622: ima marry apc ILUVLP622: and do them all cantinflas323: a perfect circle ILUVLP622: yes yah another random question haha AFIREINSIDE0622: eliana can hmm love wait Pinksody: ok Pinksody: love yeah Pinksody: it could wait forever whoa im so confused ILUVLP622: shaun can love wait ? PiNoShAuN: i guess PiNoShAuN: ....... PiNoShAuN: no ILUVLP622: oky PiNoShAuN: ok PiNoShAuN: anything else whoa and just another one haha ILUVLP622: hey can love wait ? cantinflas323: i dont know cantinflas323: who cares ILUVLP622: wait i forgot u dont believe in love haha ILUVLP622: rite ILUVLP622: u havent been in love yet cantinflas323: if u say so haha im just here lalala !! i need cris here i should call him rite now hmmm BOOOM im gone BAM hes here haha Current Mood: happyCurrent Music: ska ska ska some Cd' my so kool friend sirty sir gave me!!! | |
| Friday, February 6th, 2004 | ||
| 10:25 pm | ..just thinkin It's so funny how i came so close to grace damn grace i luv u so much u are like the greatest also Sir grace damn we have gotten so close i feel like so happy being around u two and tellin u my stuff and u guys are always their for me damn im like smiling here lol its like i thougth i was never going to find that person who i really could trust and yah their u guys where all along aww I LUV U TOOO !!! so yah basicly life in general its been oky each day it goes by Damn i feel like more and more in love with my cris corado damn its like yah me and cris are like so great together my "my lil dick " and me being youre "lil pussy " aww how cute and i just cant wait til valentines we are so gonna be together for like more than 12 hours haha im so excited babe te Quiero mucho also my life is going by so great my parents are being kool with me and i have a fuckin Job what else do i need nottin in this fuking world besides My cris , grace and sirty sir aww how cute lol well yah i luv u guys peace outties D Current Mood: happyCurrent Music: operation ivy | |
| Thursday, January 15th, 2004 | ||
| 7:58 pm | why geez i dislike her so much sometimes the way she is why is she all up on my business i jsut cant stand this inside me rite now wut im feelin just fukin anger inside arghh Fuk that !!and if cris wats to keep acting like a dick go rite ahead eventually i am gonna get tired of it and just srew him Current Mood: angryCurrent Music: nothing | |
| Sunday, January 11th, 2004 | ||
| 9:37 pm | i dont understand geez i just hte it when i get caught doing sumthing and it kinda suxs cause im usally never doing anything bad arghh why is evryone getting pregnant for some reason see thats why im so scared of fukin wit him i dont want to get pregnant not now not in this age ...... well yah im so confused Current Mood:  confusedCurrent Music: matchbook romance ! | |
| Saturday, December 27th, 2003 | ||
| 12:47 pm | Yah yah this is my first entri in this journal i have another one wit shaun but this is going to be my private shit no one is going to be able to read it i mean any of my friendds unless u fukin find this shit but i doubt it so yah im going out wit him yah him meaning cris and its so blah blah i mean geez i dont even knw if i luv this guy meaning i broke upo wit him already like hmm 8 times or more i find this as a fukin game yet he used to call me and now he doesn't even fukin bother to call and check how im doing this is bullshit but yah i knw that if i brake up wit him its not gonna be the same i mean i miss this guy when im not him its hard living my life without him i love him a lot i dont even knw if its love arghhh he has done so much shit to me and in fact i have too when we first started going out i used to act like a bitch wit him and yes i do regret it and he fukin cheated on me and i cheated on him too just to get back at him and now i think i screw up again meaning i luv him and its soo hard to get out of here im too into this guy and its bad cause u nevr knw i might do somethign crazy if i lose him this time !! and i really dont want to lose cris i love him much but hes not acting like a fukin boyfriend meaning he still acts like a lil kid sumtimes yes hes mature about us going on but sometimes he acts out on me and i really dont knw what to do the time i was wit him at hes house he fukin cryed in front of me wut the fuk am i sopposed to do when this happens i try my best to make our relationship work out cause i really dont want anything bad to happen rite now well yah love is just pain on me !!! i have to go for nows peace! Current Mood: confusedCurrent Music: the distillers-city of angels | |