I'm sorry.   
02:38pm 04/05/2003
mood: depressed
music: sleepwalking//blindside
I've seen my ignorance. Therefore I have deleted ALL the entries that talk nonstop about Jerry. I've realized what I've done is obsessive and stupid. I'm losing my friends. I'm not listening to what they're telling me. I've lost a particularly good friend and now I fear I can NEVER get her back. NEVER. In the midst of this, I've decided NOT to kill myself. I've thought it over. I got to thinking there's nothing to live for anymore. But no. I've gotten help and support from the people who still choose to be my friends. Surprise, people STILL care for me. HaHa. And no, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. And no, I won't take any fake sympathy. Don't even try it. I'll just spit in your face. Most likely.
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09:00pm 29/04/2003
mood: ditzy
music: wondering//good charlotte
hee its slipknot.

leah i know im the devil's spawn so i stole the survey. :p

mood:: blank
music:: weezer//hash pipe
taste:: chinese food
makeup:: right now...black eyeliner berry lipgloss (yay) and powder which is a shocking shade of beige...
hair:: its down and i straightened it soo it looks avril lavigne-ish
annoyance::these damn pop up ads
smell:: peaches...air freshener
favorite artist:: hm...salvador dali. or do you mean music? ...i dont know.
desktop picture:: invader zim and gir (kik ass desktop theme...!)
favorite group:: weezer...slipknot...
book you're reading:: im illiterate.
cd in cd player:: box car racer
dvd in player:: my mom uses it for cds :P
refreshment:: coke
worry:: wat the hells going on?

-last person
you touched:: does my cat count
you talked to:: my sister
you hugged:: ? i dont normally allow people to touch me
you instant messaged:: scott
you yelled at:: haylee...bitch thinks i stuff my bra.
you kissed:: ahem i dont 'kiss'...

food:: beef jerky
drink:: sprite
color:: blue, black, red, pink :p
album:: the vines//highly evolved
shoes:: i only have 1 pair (my vans with the flame and gir laces)
candy:: starburst
animal:: cat *meow*
tv show:: the simpsons, invader zim, clone high
movie:: donnie darko
dance:: ?
song:: blackout//hed pe
vegetable:: celery
fruit:: strawberry
cartoon:: invader zim

-are you
understanding:: sometimes
arrogant:: no
insecure:: yea
interesting:: no
random:: yea
hungry:: no
friendly:: sometimes
smart:: no and yea
moody:: yea
childish:: sometimes
independant:: yea
hardworking:: no
organized:: no
healthy:: sorta
emotionally stable:: HELL no
shy:: yea
difficult:: sometimes
attractive:: NO
bored easily:: yea
messy:: yea
thirsty:: well now i am...
responsible:: sha no
obsessed:: i can be
angry:: YES! GET OUT OF MY WAY! lol
sad:: ::sniffles:: yesh...
happy:: im angry and sad so i might as well be
hyper:: nope
trusting:: no i have issues in that area
talkative:: no
legal:: no i was cloned ILLEGALLY!

-who do you want to
kill:: you.
slap:: haylee
get really wasted with:: haha i dont know
look like:: i dont know not myself
talk to:: jerry ::sniffles::
talk to online:: matt dammit he better get on

-fill in the blanks
in the morning i am:: u.g.l.y
all i need is:: a futon
love is:: a battlefield! ::sings::
im afraid of:: clowns...!
i dream about:: i dont know...it reminds me of salvador dali

-have you ever
pictured your crush naked:: ::cough:: no...
actually seen your crush naked:: in the immortal words of leah...yea jerry has his own porn site....www.mydicksnameiskevin.com...lol
been in love:: not truly
cried when someone died:: yesh...kurt cobain (i was only 4 lol)
lied:: no shit...

-which is better
coke or pepsi:: coke
flowers or candy:: flowers
tall or short:: dont ask me that thats like deciding between my own children!

-with the opposite sex
what do you notice first:: eyes, teef, hair, and sometimes legs....lol
last person you slow danced with:: i dont dance dammit!
worst question to ask:: ARE YOU GAY?!?!
turn ons:: spiky hair and paleness (actually just jerrys paleness...o.o)

makes you laugh the most:: jesse, amanda and matt :p
makes you smile:: need i mention his name?
gives you a fuzzy feeling when you see them:: (see above)
do you have a crush on:: (see above)
has a crush on you:: haha how can you suggest?
is easiest to talk to:: matt

-do you ever
sit on the internet all night waiting for someone special to IM you:: uh...no...::sheepishly::
save aol/aim conversations:: im not THAT crazy.
wish you were a member of the opposite sex:: never thought about it...?
cried because someone said something to you:: yes.

-have you ever
fallen for your BFF:: no
been rejected:: wat the hell do you think?
rejected somone:: poor thing. ::sniffles::
used someone:: yes. this girl whitney had a kik ass pool so i only went over there to swim in it. o, and her brother was HOTT.
been cheated on:: no
done something you regret:: yea.

-do you/are you
smoke:: no. i have. but it sucked :p
obsessive:: i can be ::cough::
could you live without the computer:: NO
color your hair:: yes.
ever get off the computer:: eventually.
habla espanol:: excuse me?
how many people are on your buddy list:: 21.
drink:: sometimes.
like watching the sunrise:: no.
wat hurts the most: physical or emotional pain:: emotional. definately.
trust other too easily:: depends on the person.

of times your hearts been broken:: countless.
of hearts you've broken:: haha none.
of continents you've lived in:: 2 (north america and europe ;D)
of close friends:: i don't enjoy getting close to people anymore.
of cd's you own:: not much all the cool ones got stolen.
of scars you have:: do you think i examine myself?
of things in your past that you regret:: am i supposed to count...?

want:: some food
have:: water
wish:: i had a life
miss:: my bed...i need some sleep
hear:: a magical flute...
search:: for my long lost brother... lol
wonder:: wats for dinner
love:: music
ache:: for a graham cracker
care:: about my hair :o
always:: sleep
am not:: cool
dance:: NOT!! lol
sing:: to my cats
cry:: alot
don't always:: think before i speak
fight:: with those critters in mario 64
write:: poetry...im very deep...lol
win:: never
lose:: alot
confuse:: many people
listen:: well
can usually be found:: on the computer; in my room either listening to music, watching tv or playing video games
need:: a life
am happy with:: my music
should have:: silence by blindside
none specified   
05:29pm 19/04/2003
mood: indescribable
music: tomorrow//sr-71
"Don't touch this unless you are nude."
-a sticker on benji's guitar in the 'motivation proclamation' video-



yea. ookkk...?
10:50pm 16/04/2003
mood: naughty
music: local god-everclear


Ooh yea baby!
You got hot Billy,
Taco Bell Boy.
And if you get
married, you won't
even have to cook
Just order the pizza
and he's happy.

brought to you by Quizilla

damn he is so hott. did you know hes double jointed?
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