The Girl With The Broken Smile's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
The Girl With The Broken Smile

[ website | *Ever So Sweet* ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[02 Jan 2007|06:14pm]
lifes crazy. it takes u in so many trips
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Now It's Done [15 Aug 2005|10:42am]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | straylight run- now its done ]

well... im trying to get back into my old style on blurty... a lot has changed... i look back now at all my entrys and i think to myself who wrote those things? its really weird. i've grown up so much ...its all too strange.. well i'll post soon....

xoxo
Mari

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feels good to be home- [07 Aug 2005|10:54am]
[ mood | just woke up ]
[ music | listening to amanda p yelling at our dog *hehe* ]

i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!

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feels good to be home- [07 Aug 2005|10:54am]
[ mood | just woke up ]
[ music | listening to amanda p yelling at our dog *hehe* ]

i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!

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i love this song [14 Dec 2004|03:13pm]
snow patrol- run

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it any where
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, Louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think i might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, Louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower, slower
We don't have time for that
All I want's to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart, my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if its just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
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pull me out from inside... [14 Dec 2004|02:46pm]
[ mood | crazy ]
[ music | social burn- stacy ]

hey everyone well.. i talked to adrian last night and it was fun while it lated she was really cool this time. i wish we could have talked longer but she was busy so it was cool but so was i. i met someone new. her name is mollie and shes really interesting. its cool to talk to people no one else knows of. we talked last night for a long time. shes a really cool girl. we hit it off great. its hard to find really cool people. me and some friends might go ice skating later. so yay! lol its going to be fun to at least try. im happy. today is a good day! yay and its really cold outside. well i'll update later. thanx moll!

*MWAH MARI*

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no way out.... [08 Dec 2004|11:09pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | brand new ]

i wanted u for nothing more than hating for what u were...

thats sticking out in my head from taking back sunday! it reminds me of adrian. like back in the day. lol this year has gone by so fast! it has been the best year ever i say! lots has happened and im happy.

this is what i feel for adrian... shes going to hate me for this but i hate myself more for loving her.

taking back sunday- bonus mosh pt. 2
So scream, I heard about your message,
and how it reeked of your indifference.
It bleeds horizontal straight from your wrists.
(So scream louder now.)
I'm bound to come around, I'm bound.
(I'm bound to come around.)
Well can't you, can't you feel it
rollin' off your lips, tensing up your shoulders.
Come on, say it.

Well it's love.
(It's love.)
Make it hurt.
(I deserve it.)
Well it's love.
(It's love.)
Make it hurt.
(I deserve it.)
Well it's love, it's love, it's love.
Make it hurt.

I said I used the inconsistencies to undress the machine.
You're the poster boy,
their selling point,
the focus for the new campaign.
(Something has to be done.)
I'm bound to come around, I'm bound.
(I'm bound to come around.)
Can't you, can't you feel it,
rollin' off your lips, tensing up your shoulders.
Come on...

Well it's love.
(It's love.)
Make it hurt.
(I deserve it.)
Well it's love.
(It's love.)
Make it hurt.
(I deserve it.)
Well it's love, it's love, it's love.
Make it hurt.

The keys to the castle are right where I left them.
The princess walked in just to take more attention.
'Cause after all, well isn't that all that I've been after,
and after all, well isn't that all that I'm after yourself.

(No way out.)
I give up in me.
Well, I give up in you.
(No way out)
I give up in me.
(No way out)
Well, I give up in you.
I give up in you.
(No way out)
I give up in you.

I wanted you for nothing more
than hating you for what you were.
If that's what you wanted to hear.
(Well, if that's what you wanted to hear.)

I wanted you for nothing more
than hating you for what you were.
(Don't leave, leave.)
If that's what you wanted to hear.
(If that's what you wanted to hear)

I wanted you for nothing more
than hating you for what you were.
(Don't leave, leave.)
If that's what you wanted to hear.
(If that's what you wanted…)

(It's love, it's love.)
I wanted you for nothing more
(Make it hurt, I deserve it.)
than hating you for what you were.
(If that's what you wanted to hear.)
That's what you wanted to hear.
(To hear.)
That's what you wanted to hear.
(If that is how we let it burn.)

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Sexy! [08 Dec 2004|10:39pm]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | new american classic ]

geoff rickly
me and geoff rickly need to get it on


which emo singer are you destined to hump?
brought to you by Quizilla

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we could live through these letters or forget it all together.. [08 Dec 2004|09:59pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | where u want to be cd! TBS! ]

whoa i havent updated in forever! my computer has been being a total bitch! lol but its a nice bitch today! lol i've been talking to adrian every now and then. not for long but for awhile. shes happy and so am i. everything is like it should be. she read my journal when i was "upset" with her lol and the other day she was like so what was that all about. lol i found it kinda funny. life is great. i am very happy! i went to go see DISNEY ON ICE i just got home awhile ago. adrian is kinda iffy with me like i talk to her and all but i can tell she doesnt want to talk to me so im like whatever im still going to try to be her friend. i like talking to her shes a pretty cool person to talk to when she wants to be. i missed her im not going to lie but not like i love her miss her, so adrian if ur reading this dont be scared i dont want u anymore. i think we've both moved on so dont worry about me having feelings for u. i think shes changed like dramatically. she drinks alot. which is alright i guess. but some people that i know that know her have told me that she looks totally different. their words excatly "she looks like she stopped taking care of herself, like she gave up on herself" i personally dont know about all of that but hey thats just what i heard. i just know she acts a little different but i dont really care shes still the same person no matter what anyone says. but yeah. i've been having a lot of fun lately. so its all good with me. me nikki and manda went walking downtown lastnight and we also saw team america last night it was funny. lol. stupid funny yet funny. but yeah we were walking down chapperal & water street lastnight and where all the clubs are at and we stopped at one called the station and this john mayer look a like guy was playing and he sang color blind by- counting crows. omg i fell in love with the boy. lol that song was great! i've always loved it! he didnt play the whole song but i'm kinda glad he didnt because if he did i would prolly have to excuse myself to the bathroom lol. jp! ;) oh yeah baby! well....

Color Blind- Counting Crows

I am colorblind,
Coffee black and egg white.
Pull me out from inside.
I am ready,
I am ready,
I am ready,
I am....
Taffy stuck and tongue tied,
Stutter shook and uptight.
Pull me out from inside.
I am ready,
I am ready,
I am ready,
I am...fine......
I am covered in skin,
No one gets to come in.
Pull me out from inside.
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding.
I am,
color-blind,
Coffee black and egg white.
Pull me out from inside.
I am ready,
I am ready,
I am ready,
I am....fine.
I am.... fine.
I am fine.

i love it! well thats all for now... luv ya laterz!

xoxo
M A R I

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[18 Nov 2004|07:12pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]
[ music | Snow Patrol- Run ]

ANDY IS SO COLD! UGH I HATE HIM NOW!

GRRRRRR!!!!

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i never know! [17 Nov 2004|09:46pm]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | mcr-ghost of you ]

i feel like writing...

hmm i dont really post much anymore. life is as usual. nothing too exciting. well not yet at least. theres nothing but drama in the air but i choose to be out of it. even though i'm in it but i don't really care anymore. lol nothing suprises me anymore. lol nothing ever will. well... i talked to nikki yesterday. awww i love that bitch! but i mean that in the best way possible! i really do love her. shes a funny funny girl. we had a nice "chat" =P hehe i miss her. i miss everyone really. i talk to amanda t a lot more now. we've grown this "respect" for each other. its always been there but now its like we've both grown up w/o growing apart. shes like my sister. she was my strong side when we were growing up. i truely love her and admire her. natalie and john got married last friday! aww i couldnt help but cry! i wish the best for them in the future! they are 2 great people i was lucky enough to meet in my life. i went with them to their church which was .....LONG! lol omg i thought it would never end! and it was HELL trying to get out of the church! everyone kept stoping us and omg people whats with all the HUGS! lol i couldnt take it anymore so i decided to run out screaming my head off.... but i didnt. lol. i have decided that paris hilton is way more attractive when she DOESNT talk. and nicole richie is sooooo annoying by just looking at her. THE SIMPLE LIFE SUCKS ASS! IT WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF MY TIME! that 30 minute show seemed like hours on end. i thought it'd never finish! it was my first time watching it and to tell u the truth i only watched it for PARIS! lol but never again i dont even care how hot she looks! i am never watching that stupid show again! not even if they paid me themselves. lol noooo way. when john was here we went and saw Cellular omg lol me and natalie had a field day! lol i swear we are way too alike. lol we kept screaming WHY DONT U CALL THE COPS ON 3 WAY! lol it was the best time. haha shes like my equal. we think the same. lol which is a good and bad thing.lol but it was a fun night. john got sick awww! and we went to the nursing home to see olis and mrs. roy and everyone! i missed them. it was fun. alls well that ends well. as for amanda lee! lol shes alive. haha shes doing great. the other night she picked me up it was the night before we took our state test and she came over to drop stuff off but she stayed and wanted to practice with me and we had a long and deep conversation about everything that was nice. i told her how i thought she was acting differently but it wasnt bad. she seemed more mature. all out of no where. and she was like omg u could tell and i was like yeah. she seemed focused! which was great. and the best part out of it was that no one influenced her to do it she found it within herself. which i say is the only way shes ever going to learn. i was so proud of her. but shes proud of herself. my life is going ok. no real excitement. i've learned to appreciate my parents a lot more! omg i was sooo made at jevannah yesterday! she lost SIMON! i was pissed i've never yelled at her i even told her some meanful things like jevannah i'm not your friend anymore, and this is what killed her the most.... jevannah! santa claus doesnt love u! omg u should have seen her poor sad little eyes. lol she was having a total meltdown! it was liek her world came to an end or something. i was soooo mad because i leave her for a little while in the room to play and the first thing i tell her is not to mess with simon. so i get in the room and it was totaled! a mess EVERYWHERE! and i look at simons cage and his water thing was on the fool water everywhere! and is cage door was open with no simon to be found! i was pissed! lol. we finally found him in the closet! why is it that they are always in the closet? hamsters are always found in closets! its like a hamster thing i'll never know. lol but yeah. she told everyone that we werent friends. lol. she was talking back and everything being completley disrespectful towards me and my mom and i didnt like it. i've never seen her act that way. i was not going to accept that from her.... so i told her mom! lol yeah yeah i didnt it! i told! lol what are u going to do about it haha! she said her sorrys and the world is a much happier place! lol now if bush were out of office it would be excellent but thats just wishful thinking. lol. thats all for now! yes i know it was long but u love me anyway!

ASH NEEDS TO POST! i miss her :'(

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hopeless [16 Nov 2004|12:30am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | brand new- the no seatbelt song ]

NO SEATBELT SONG

So, it's sad this doesn't suit you now,
and me fresh out of rope.
Please, ignore the lisp, I never meant to sound like this.
So take me and break me,
And make me strong like you.
I'll be forever grateful to this and you.

(Chorus)

It's only you, beautiful,
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, it's only you.

Fix me to a chain around your neck
and wear me like a nickel.
Even new wine served in old skins
cheapens the taste.
I shot the pilot,
I'm begging you to fly this for me.
I'm here for you to use;
broken and bruised.
Do you understand?

(Chorus)

It's only you, beautiful,
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, it's only you.

But how could I miscalculate?
Perfect eyes will have perfect aim.
If I could choose, it's only you.

We're wrecking
And I'm dry like a drum,
with springs to find.
I'll leave.
We're spending,
take our time in trials,
measured in miles.
We slave for days and weeks.

(Chorus)

It's only you, beautiful,
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, it's only you.

BRAND NEW

i know i know i had to post this once again i am COMPLETELYINLOVE with this song. i believe it describes my feelings perfectly especially the first 2 lines. i dont know what it is and why i constantly feel the way i do about her but i just do. i was doing great too. this past week i've been missing her little by little. out of no where and then she signs on and all my feelings come back that im afraid if she ims me im a goner. thats all it takes. and i wouldnt know what to do anymore. i wonder if she thinks of me too? nah i bet she hates me and doesnt want anything to do with me.which is fine with me. i really dont care. its just really strange. ugh what is a girl to do? i never know!

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omg shes online.... why? [16 Nov 2004|12:16am]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | BRAND NEW- THE NO SEATBELT SONG ]

Put and x in the ones apply to you

(X) been drunk
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(_) crashed a friend's car
(_) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been in love
(X ) been dumped
(X ) shoplifted
(_) been fired
(_) been in a fist fight
(X) snuck out of your parent's house
(X) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(X) ever dated someone of the same sex
(X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(X) been arrested
(_) made out with a stranger
(X) stole something from my job
(_) celebrated new years in time square
(_) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(X) had a crush on a teacher
(_) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(_) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
(X) slept with a co-worker
(_) cut myself on purpose
(_) been married
(_) gotten divorced
(_) had children
(_) seen someone die
(_) been to Africa
(_) had a crush on one of your Blurty friends
(x) Punched a friend
(_) Driven over 400 miles to attend a show/festival/fetish ball
(_) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(_) Been on a plane
(X) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(_) Thrown up in a bar
(_) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(_) Eaten Sushi
(_) Been snowboarding
(X) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) Been moshing at a concert
(X) had real feelings for someone you knew only online
(_) taken partially nude/nude photos of yourself
(_) been in an abusive relationship
(_) been pregnant or got someone pregnant
(_) lost a child
(x) gone to college
(_) graduated college
(X) had sexual intercourse of any kind
(X) tried killing yourself
(X) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now...... a little bit more than i should

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aww very pretty [02 Nov 2004|05:59pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | limp bizkit- build a bridge ]

Build a bridge to your mind
Takes me there everytime
Lay it all on the line
There's a way
Build a bridge, make a path
Overlook the aftermath
Make my tears be your bath
There's a way
Only'd if you take a ride
Go with me to the other side

CHORUS
Even though its gonna crumble down
I'll keep building till you come around
Even though its gonna fall apart
Break my heart
I'll keep building till I die

Build a bridge of memories
Stretch it out over seas
To the end of the world
There's a way
Build a bridge made of pains
Send my longing down the drain
Have no reasons to complain
There's a way
Only'd if you take a ride
Go with me to the other side

Chorus

Wait...wait for me...
Wait...please wait for me...
Wait...wait for me...
wait...please wait for me...

Chorus

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the end to a new beginning. [02 Nov 2004|01:45pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | saves the day - freakish ]

well this is my farewell to mandi...

As I'm talking my words
Slip to the floor
And they crawl through your legs
Slide under
The back door

Rendering me
Freakish and dazed
Well here I am dont know how to say this
Only thing I know
Is awkward silence
Your eyelids close
When you're around me
To shut me out

So I'll go walking in the streets
Until my heels bleed
And ill sing out my song
In case the birds wish to sing along
And ill dig a tunnel to the center of the universe

Well here I am dont know how to say this
Only thing I know is awkward silence
Your eyelids close when youre around me
To shut me out

I'll make my way across the frozen sea
Beyond the blank horizon
Where I can forget you and me
And get a decent night sleep

Well here I am dont know how to say this
Only thing I know is awkward silence
Your eyelids close when youre around me
To shut me out

Well here I am dont know how to say this
Only thing I know is awkward silence
Your eyelids close when youre around me
To shut me out
To shut me out
(dont shut me out)
To shut me out
(dont shut me out)
To shut me out
(dont count me out)
To shut me out
(dont shut me out)

this song starts off the winter season for me! its awesome. yeah yeah well.... im not sorry for anything. u can hate me or love me? but whatever i am done. done with everything but most importantly done with YOU.

YOU know who you are.

off to go vote!

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what a day [31 Oct 2004|12:47am]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | thursday-death in new burnswick ]

i've had a creative day today. so much everyone had to say. i had to deal with everyones misshaps! its all rather fustrating. manda was soo0o0o0o freaking pissed (white chicks haha lil humor) she was being rude to me. idk shes mad but then she was calm and called me and was ok and we talked about it which was good. HAPPY HALLOWEENIE EVERYBODY! lol yay everyone went out and partied today! but i was like naw! i'll just party tomorrow which is today and i'm already ready! lol i hung out w/ rudy today we went to church like usual. i missed him and brian and eddie and sadly enough adrian. i dont like her and i dont want to be her friend but i just miss her. i dont want to but i do and it really sucks. i missed her lastnight when we were all partying w/mandas gorgeous cousin JUSTIN! man hes soooo hot. i would marry him in a heartbeat. i like him alot. but oh well hes not here anymore he left back to mc allen. aww WE WILL MEET AGAIN! lol aww. i've been missing everyone these past couple of days. idky i am hardly alone. i try to surround myself with a lot of friends whenever i can. i was going to go to slick willys last night w/ susette and alex but i felt like being home so i didnt. i talked to mandi today. it was funny. shes an idiot. i have a big weekend comming up! im doing so much! going to san antonio. i should make an online friend there so i can have him/her show me around there. lol wait a minute i dont want to be killed or raped.... on second thought that doesnt seem like a good idea anymore. lol haha i want to be in a band. i wanna perform most of all. do something that will let me express myself. hmm that'd be nice well till next time...

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TESTING! [30 Oct 2004|01:41am]
[ mood | accomplished ]
[ music | emery- the secret ]











o0o0oh wow! thanx danni! lol i did it after all! yayayayaya haha! im ooo excited!

*thats for danielle because she helped me do this* yayayaa
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aww man i dont know [29 Oct 2004|11:12pm]
[ mood | sad ]
[ music | brand new- no seatbelt song ]

NO SEATBELT SONG

So, it's sad this doesn't suit you now,
and me fresh out of rope.
Please, ignore the lisp, I never meant to sound like this.
So take me and break me,
And make me strong like you.
I'll be forever grateful to this and you.

(Chorus)

It's only you, beautiful,
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, it's only you.

Fix me to a chain around your neck
and wear me like a nickel.
Even new wine served in old skins
cheapens the taste.
I shot the pilot,
I'm begging you to fly this for me.
I'm here for you to use;
broken and bruised.
Do you understand?

(Chorus)

It's only you, beautiful,
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, it's only you.

But how could I miscalculate?
Perfect eyes will have perfect aim.
If I could choose, it's only you.

We're wrecking
And I'm dry like a drum,
with springs to find.
I'll leave.
We're spending,
take our time in trials,
measured in miles.
We slave for days and weeks.

(Chorus)

It's only you, beautiful,
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, it's only you.

BRAND NEW

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take me and break me [29 Oct 2004|10:26pm]
[ mood | drunk ]
[ music | brand new "your favorite weapon" ]

ahhh i went to edwards funeral this morning. it was nice. very well done. then went back to the house with all of mandas family and lol me and manda couldnt stop drinking coffee! lmao she drank 8 freaking coffees! lol i think i drank like 4. we were both all sick. lol and then we drank after that! they made a bon fire and the kids were roasting i mean BURING marshmellows. it was the cutest thing ever aww. and my future husband (mandas cousin) *JUSTIN* awww my heart melts lol. awww hes the hottest thing to ever walk the planet! and HE HAS A MOHAWK! lol AND! HES GREAT W/ CHILDREN! i mean what more can i ask for? i like him alot but he was only here for the funeral. i hardly see him. lol. aww hes the cutest thing ever! i want him sooo bad! lol im serious! i wanted to kiss him tonight but never got him alone to myself... it was pitch black and the only light we had was from the fire and he was sitting close to it and it looked sooo sweet! the light of the fire on his face made me in awe! i couldnt contain myself! i wanted him right then and there! lol im so0o0o bad! hahaha omg! and amandas gay cousin kim wanted me. doug (mandas dad)had to tell her im straight to get her off my nuts lol shes really pretty physically shes good looking but shes a BIG DRUGGIE! like huge thats all she talks about! doug was like oh and by the way mari, kim thinks your ediable so i told her you were straight lol hahaha i was like uhhhh ok good looking out! it was weird. but just made for an interesting night! manda asked me what i thought about drew and i didnt say and u could tell she got a little mad. but i dont fucking care. i really didnt know what to tell her besides shes going to do what she wants to do regardless of what i say. and shes like i know that i was just wondering what u think about her. she really likes her alot. i think shes going to ask her out. and drew hasnt told manda but she wants to keep it a secret but shes in love with amanda. but she doesnt want to tell her. and i think amadna is falling for her. idk i just dont really know her enough to like her. so if i had to tell manda what i felt it would be that i dont know enough TO like her. if that makes any sense? theres a ladybug crawling all over my computer! lol im going to name her MINA! lol. awww. but what if its a boy? awww how cute. we were all drinking at mandas grandmas! it was fun. her family is crazy. but ummm. yeah thats all....it was a crazy day... i'll post later...

so0o0o0o0o sleepy!

BOOBAH! HAHAHA lol awww

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i love pretty little emo boys who sing [28 Oct 2004|10:12pm]
[ mood | awww ]
[ music | tbs ]

For You To Notice
by Dashboard Confessional

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
Where I would impress you,
Where every single word I said
Would come out insightful or brave, or smooth, or charming
And you'd want to call me..
And I
Would be there every time
You need me;
I'd be there every time..

But for now,
I'll look
So longingly..
Waiting

For you to want me
For you to need me
For you to notice me

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
Where I would impress you,
Where every single word I said
Would come out insightful or brave, or smooth, or charming
And you'd want to call me..

And I
Would be there every time
You need me;
I'd be there every time..

But for now,
I'll look
So longingly
Waiting

For you to want me
For you to need me
For you to notice me...

this is how i feel now.... awww. my own little sad sad secret!

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