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[15 Jul 2003|01:31pm] [ mood | hot ] [ music | sleepyhead* alk3 ] heylo..hmm, today is sorta gloomy, sure it's boiling hot outside, but there's like this huge huge storm going on around corpis christi, like a hurricane and shit and it's pretty creepy..it's around victoria also which is like 3 hours away from us and near my granny..so she's pretty scurred right now which is really depressing. shes such a happy person and seeing her as scared as she is is really fucking sad and just makes me all teary eyed and depressed. hmm, yeah I layed outside this morning around 11, i just go in the backyard and the sun was out and it felt nice and i just layed there listening to the vines/ and also my happy mix =0] but yeah i came in about 45 minutes later got a worser sunburn and now my shoulders are fucking killed! they sting so so bad and i wana cry. i washed the dishes while watching minority report, that was a super great movie and tom cruise is such a sexy fag you have no idea. him and brad pitt deserve to live forever, cos you can't imagine the world without them. so much grieving.. uh I put all my earrings back in, i didn't have but two in each and if you dont put earrings in my ears for longer than a week they start to close up and having to rip that skin over and over again can really ruin your ears and god knows mine are as fucked as possible lol. but yeah now i'm here and it's really hot in the house, like 80 something, i need to turn the conditioner on around 2...our electric bill was beyond expensive, usually we pay like 115 er 110 and this time it was like 208, and that's fuckin bad! i still have to vaccume and wipe the fans cos theyre beyond dusty but i duno i'm really bored. i'm spposed to go to the dentists with my dad tomorrow he's gota get them cleaned..i havent been to a dentist in like 5 years, the last time i went i had teeth pulled and i've never been back since, maybe thats why my teeth are so fucked, eh? but anyway yeah i better get going..ooh! yay i get to get my pictures back from the weekend when i spent the night at melindas..i hope they come out good because they were really really awesome pictures..i duno how i can put them on here cos boomspeed isn't free anymore and I duno what other free photo sharing type thingy there is out there..if you know, let me know cos i want to add some..endless love <3 sky I think It's Kinda Sad

[15 Jul 2003|09:52am] [ mood | dorky ] [ music | daydream believer* the monkees ] Five things you are wearing: 01. Rainbow Colored Toe Socks 02. Train Man Shorts ( the blue and white stripes ) 03. A Red And White Belt 04. A Grey Nipple Ring 05. A Pink And Green Halter/Spaghetti Strap Thing Five things you can see: 01. Dawson's Creek =' 0[ 02. Blank Cd's 03. Computer Screen 04. My Yoo-Hoo 05. Jakie ( My Brown Lab ) Five things you are doing right now: 01. Watching The Cable Guy Premiere On TBS 02. Taking This Surbey 03. Watching The Fan Go Round And Round 04. Listening to The Aquabats 05. Itching A Mosquito Bite Five things you ate/drank in the last twenty four hours: 01. Klondike Bar 02. Potatos 03. Yoo-Hoo 04. Water 05. Toast Five things you did so far today: 01. Made Dad's Bed 02. Put Clothes In Dryer 03. Watched Dawson's Creek And Cried 04. Woke Up At 9:10 05. Helped Chelsea (My Yellow Lab) Five thoughts in your head: 01. Wondering if i'm going to cry 02. Wondering if dawson's going to say something to joey about leaving 03. Wondering if melinda is going to get on anytime soon 04. I need to start shopping for some clothes 05. I need to start reading that book for school soon Five names you like: 01. Odette 02. Enid 03. Romy 04. Thomas ( Tom ) 05.Brandon Ten objects in your room you love: 01. Futon. 02. Stereo 03. Desk 04. BIG ass Drawers 05. My Double Doors 06. The Walls 07. The Pictures 08. Clothes 09. My Movies 10. My Sun Burn =0\ Seven people you love: 01. Dad 02. Mom 03. My Dogs 04. Melinda 05. Rory 06. That's All 07. Bitch I said that's all Seven facts about you: 01. I have a nipple ring 02. I have green eyes 03. I LOVE E.T (Extra Terrestrial ) 04. I have Red and Black Hair 05. I'm very huge in weight 06. I hate the phone- so don't ask for phone secks! =0P 07. I really..really like my room...is that conceited? I think It's Kinda Sad

[13 Jul 2003|01:16pm] heylo, how've you been? i haven't really written much lately but i guess my life ain't really as hectic as other's are so i'm pretty boring and dull..but i've been at mommas the past two days and like i went swimming and such and usually i never wear a sleeveless but i did and i got the hugest burn on my body i feel so cool with it..it was ahalter shirt and there's lines across my chest where it was, everythings orange/red and where my boobs start it's so white and pale so it's really funny..not that that's inneresting er anything..yeah melinda emailed me saying she was in missouri at the lakes of the ozarka er some shit..whata lucky giddy bastard eh..but yeah anywho, i don't have shit to talk about at all..steven's brother and his wife and his wife's daughter jenny are coming over friday/saturday er sunday for no reason..but yeah that's cool..as long as i dont have my period and it ain't raining it's the shit. i was watching lots of 80's movies lasts night, stand by me * the best fucking movie EVER*, breakfast club, pretty in pink( rory bought it for me..aww), sixteen candles ( that movie still makes me sigh...='0] ), lost boys*great movie yes*, the goonies of corse, the pick up artist with molly ringwald and robert downey jr...cute movie *, summer school, the original texas chainsaw massacre..gah, i heard that movie is coming back into theaters and that's sooooo awesome!..but then i started falling alseep watching adventures in babysitting..but it was neat..instead of watching it with a person who constantly talks throughout the whole movie it's better watching it alone..but anyway yeah I'm guna jet now, i hope ya'll went to that site i had in my last entry, the FACETHEJURY.COM one...i changed the pictures but they're still pretty fuckign sick and my scores have gotten lower..i might put up no rating..make me feel better..i'll stop if it gets into the 6 thousands er whatever it is =0] better jet, *muah* 2 Thinks it's kinda funny| I think It's Kinda Sad

SAY ANYTHING [09 Jul 2003|10:16am] hey..i hate those sneezes where you don't want to sneeze cos yer in class and it's so fucking quiet so you make that weird little noise and sneeze inside your mouth, and it pops yer ears like whoa? know which ones i'm talking about..well you should because yer in denial if you say you've never had them. but anyway, i colored my hair monday, it didn't do anything to it but darken my roots to a dark cherry red..the rest is still the dark black it's been since January..I hate it..well no i don't, i just want some other color..but everyone says I look major better with black..I'm watching Dont tell mom the babysitters dead, it's on HBO right now..i love this movie, it's so 90's, and christina applegate? Ah i think she's so fucking awesome, not just being a Bundy but her attitude in movies kicks ass, like this one and that one Sweetest Thing film, i love that movie. It's like resembing Romy And Michelle's Highschool Reunion, whihc is like majorly the best friend type of film you watch and grow in love with..fucking melinda and i watched it a thousand times at her place..but i come home one day, pop it in the VCR and it's fucking broken! now i can't find it anywhere for cheap..i can't find it anyplace at all really without it being like $15.00 and I don't pay that much for a film, I wait till it gets down to atleast $10.00ish, or it's sold at Half Price Books. But anywho, the past few days have sucked majorly..but dad and i had gone to chili's yesterday..people are so fucked up in the head..I mean they just allow their child to scream there asses off until they're stared at from a mile away..they just don't give two shits about what they do..fucking retarded fuck ups! I hate kids so much though..just everywhere I go i hear some type of child screaming, crying, yelling, cussing, spitting,pushing into you, taking up space, walking in front of you while yer trying to walk..shit theyre everywhere except in my house..so that's prolly the sanest place I suppose. but anyway yeah I think melinda is leaving to missouri today..i duno did i really think our friendship would work out? i prolly did saturday, not remembering all the times after hanging out we barely talked afterwards and when we did it only lasted for three minutes..ok she called me monday night around 10:46 right..and i was taking a shit so dad answered said i would call her back. around 10:50 i called her back, her mom answered and said for me to call back. so after waiting 5 minutes i called back and melinda answered, then her mom answered and said hello who is it so melinda before telling me that he rmom wont allow calls after 10 says im telling her bye mom so i get all mad because she's the one who fuckin called me at 1046 and HER FUCKIN MOM SAID TO CALL BACK so if im the one being punished here, they both need to go fuck themselves because that's so fucking wrong. but other than that yeah she's leaving to missouri today and won't be back till about sunday. but i duno what I'm doing for the rest of the week but i know today I'm supposed to got o my brothers house to have dinner with them so that's good..my brother moved out/ran away in december and hasn't ben home since. he moved in at his girlfriends house for a little bit then moved out into their own apartment near my moms old apartment. they live together now, rory and erin and are incredibly happy..sure i think it's nice but he hasn't spoken one word to my dad and it's kinda depressing. but anyway yeah i'm going over there today later on..but tomorow and friday are totally clueless for me..i wana do something with someone this weekend but everyone's vanished from here..now im watching say anything on hbo, this is also one good good movie =0] i made this FaceTheJury vote me type thingy..to see what i look like go to http://www.facethejury.com/profile.asp?user_name=nerd_alert and vote for me =0] i don't really want any votes because i know i'll get like 0. 000 but it's worth a try. but anyway i better go clean up now..i feel sick, i haven't eaten since like ever..i'll talk to you later. I think It's Kinda Sad

[07 Jul 2003|05:18pm] [ mood | cranky ] last cigarette: sometime in May last kiss: nick kissed me underwater and i farted through my mouth, bubbles and everything. last good cry: this afternoon, sandlot was on, such a super rad movie last library book checked out: Fire And Flesh last movie seen: 28 days later And may i say, Cillian's a babe last book finished: Catcher In The Rye last cuss word uttered: Ass Hair last beverage drank: Wild Cherry Pepsi last food consumed: A klondike bar! last crush: Rory's friend Jon..bad mistake with potential last phone call: I called Melinda and Unavailable called me. last tv show watched: Saved by the Bell last time showered: this morning whilst coloring my hair last shoes worn: my white chucks last cd played: new amsterdams ( SHOW ON AUGUST 23rd! ) be there or..don't be there last item bought: the jacket last downloaded: some hot hot heat last annoyance: my nipple ring was itching last disappointment: i scratched my nipple, but missed and scratched the ring too hard and it began to bleed last soda drank: wild cherry pepsi last thing written: school exam/essay in May last key used: Y if you're talking about typing. House key if yer taking about locks. last word spoken: "night" last sleep: this morning last im: Jenny last sexual fantasy: about some 12 year old I was raping. =0 P last weird encounter: ? having a guy see my nipple last ice cream eaten: I had a klondike bar! last time amused: watching Sandlot last time wanting to die: ehh, possibly last week last time in love: i've never been in love. .love..my fat ass! last time hugged: yesterday last time scolded: yesterday afternoon last time resentful: define resentful last chair sat in: who stands at the computer? last lipstick used: melindas bright red lipstick last underwear worn: i'm wearing green boxers right now last bra worn: a white one that smells funky last shirt worn: a shit colored Bright Eyes tee last time dancing: this morning while listening to " Taquilla " peewee dance! last poster looked at: my autographed blink182 last show attended: Alkaline Trio last webpage visited: this one obviously 1 MINUTE AGO: filling this out whilst smelling my pits 1 HOUR AGO: washing the dishers 1 DAY AGO: with melinda at the pool 1 WEEK AGO: i was at the theater seeing 28 DAYS LATER, which i may add for the 2nd time, how wonderful and amazing that movie was! man oh man, i'm like totally in lust with cillian murphy-Jim 1 YEAR AGO: possibly with melinda at her house I HURT: around my right nipple..i took the ring out and it's swollen. Got the ice on it. I LOVE: friends, family, my animals, the color green, turtles, music, acoustic shows. I HATE: school, boys, rap, r&b,soul,disco music I FEAR: big black people, big white people, blisters, pain I HOPE: things improve with my boobie! I FEEL: ugly, fat and smelly I HIDE: my vagina with underpants I DRIVE: elsewhere I MISS: Freshman year I LEARNED: Religion means SHIT to me I NEED: a bandaid, school shit to keep me busy, music, and definetly more friends. I THINK: like no one else current clothes: striped green and black socks, boxers, shit colored bright eyes shirt current mood: excited, and happy. Both because of my weight loss and hair. current music: small brown bike current taste: some odd taste, like..god it's disgusting. current hair: nice and full of softieness current annoyance: who drtwinkiegate is, the taste in my mouth, how oily my face is, what melinda is doing, when i'll see her next, when prep day is, when dustin * wayne's friend * will stay at mindy's so i could go over there with them, my nipple ring, my blisters from the fucking broom, pee stains. current smell: i'm getting up to light an incense. Okay done..smells like Dragon Catcher (liquid blue) current thing i should be doing: some type of exercizeable movement to get off my lazy fat ass current desktop picture: a sunset with three stars blinking *put hand on heart* very touching. current refreshment: touching my hair..I really need to wash my hands. I'm like Mary Catherine Gallagher, I keep putting my hands under my pits and smelling them like mad. current worry: why this zit on the right side of my face won't just vanish. why God, WHY?! 1. What do you most like about your body?: probably my hair and green eyes. 2. And least?: everything that isn't answered in question number one 3. How many fillings do you have?:lemme check. I have four 4. Do you think you're good looking?: No I don't 5. Do other people often tell you that you're good looking? Only my friends do because they think it'll hurt my feelings if they say otherwise..but honesty is better than lying i think. 6. Do you look like any celebrities?: I resemble Kelly Osbourne, but she's much skinnier than I am. I have the black hair she once had and the green eyes she currently has. I also have the mouth of Darlene on one of the greatest shows ever, Rosanne..well Mindy always says that I do..but i can't see what she sees. 1 Thinks it's kinda funny| I think It's Kinda Sad

[07 Jul 2003|10:24am] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | sing along forever* bouncing souls ] i had like the greatest weekend. very great, man. kay, first off from the last entry..well first entry but whatever the fuck it is, member if you recall about melinda, how i said we haven't talked in two months. well she called me on thursday and it broke the silence between us both, which was incredibly wow of her. but anyway yeah we talked for like 4 hours on the phone, from nine to like..i think 1 er 2 in the morning..dunno how many hours that is but i'm not a mathematician so yes. anyway friday was the fourth and instead of blowing a ton of cash on shitty fireworks that are basically illegal, dad went ahead and gave me forty dollars in exchange. but anyway yeah saturday, melinda and i were supposed to spend time together but it was like totlaly pouring in the morning so i went ahead and blew it off thinking we wouldn't do anything..bummer. so mom picked me up at like 10 and we went to IHOP and ate some breakfast. i like breakfast foods..just not at IHOP too many fuck ups making your food and serving you the wrong fuckin plate! so as we were leaving that place i gave some bitch the coupon we were guna use and she was like these aren't used till 1pm and i was like it's like 1130, it's not guna hurt you to just put these on the recipe and she was like look miss prissy, im just doing my job here and i was like well you fucking suck, ( and i looked at her name tag thing) mandy. and she was like please leave before i have to call the manager and i was like why because you can't deal with me by yerself you need a 60 year old woman running your life and she was like..no..and i was like yeah thats right. and like there were people waiting to be seated and as momma and me were leaving i was like don't even bother they give you the wrong plate anyway and liek they stood up and asked questionlyish to leave er not and..well one person did lol..whatever but then after that we went to target and i bought some jacket thing..i needed one incredibly badly. my green one that resembled johnny knoxvilles black with rainbow trim had started to fade so i just got a new one..but then i had gotten in a mood cos mom had gotten in a mood so she brought me home and dad said that melinda had called so ic alled her back and she had to go to the mall but she asked if i wanted to stay the night. so later that night dad brought me to moms house and i walked to melindas house and we were just, having like the greatest time ever..see, if i were with ashley i wouldn't have that much fun because she's more mature and boring but melinda..she knows what to do and shit...but we stayed up till like fuckin 6am and like we were ins ome deep dark sleep and her bitchy mom walked in and screamed WAKE UP! WE'RE GOING TO MASS!!!!! which is extremely different for their family..so i got up too and then got ready to walk to mommas. after leaving around 9:45am, i went to moms and they were leaving for church also. i dont go to church, i don't believe in God, never have, never will..i just can't tell them that because i'll get my ass kicked three ways from thursday. so anyway whilst they were gone, i took a nap, from like 11:00am to 4:00pm. didn't know it was so long, but i then ate and called mindy, the mom said she was at the pool, so i dressed and walked to the pool and realised they weren't at that pool but they were at the other pool so i walked there and there she was with her two brothers and sister. i screamed through the gate for them to open up and then her little froend kevin ran up and unlocked it for me. some lifeguard lady asked me like are you 18, whats yer name, last name middle name. and me, without knowing she was a lifeguard lady, i was like i'm sixteen why and she was like well how old is that girl over there whilst pointing to melinda and i didn't say anything so she brought melinda over and was all you need to leave and melinda was like why why why and the lady was all cos yer not 18 and you've gotten three warnings from acting up in the pool and melinda was like you said it once! and she's all i said the other two under my breath! so like we walked away and i went and sat with melinda whilst they were getting dressed up again. so i just sat there and since i had my suit on and shit i just desided, if the only way i'll be able to get wet, might as well fall. so i told nick to push me in but accidentally looking like he did so i'll be able to get wet. so while standing on the edge he pushed me in and i just stayed in for about five minutes..the lifeguard chick staring at our every move. we left and they walked me home. and that was about all with her..then i realised that i had left my all american rejects cd at her house and got all depressed and called her to remind her to take great care of it till i return. but anyway i know it doesn't sound interesting but i dont feel like getting really detailed about what we did..but it was like the greatest thing i've done all year. we're the best of friends once again and i'm incredibly greatful about that. anywho, i better get going, I'm guna go ahead and put some haircolor in. leave me one, if you wish. I think It's Kinda Sad

and i love [23 Jun 2003|01:11pm] [ mood | sympathetic ] [ music | army of me* Bjork ] Hmm, new journal. Not a new look though..still ugly and non unique, but it's just for right now until i start writing a lot in here..I bet I'll totally forget all about this until like next year when everything overwhelms me and i have no friends and the only thing i can confide in is this stupid journal. oh me oh my, i must have no life, to have to make a free account on blurty to write what i feel and how desperate I am. Man, I'm a wreck right now, I got in a little fight with my best friend ashley yesterday over my jealousy and shit, like she's getting a job, or trying to find one right now and i like totally blew up at her because she is like not being able to do anything with me, like i have a plan for us, like to go to sea world or some shit and she isn't able to because she is finding a job and i totally totally respect her for being so truthful and shit. i duno but i blew up at her yesterday saying everything we've done the past year is falling down a fucking hole because we aren't out with eachother as much as we used to, but that's totally totally understandable, I'm just a stuck up bitch who's super super possesive over things I love, whether it be family, friends, or the fucking evel bastards of the opposite sex. but i usually don't give in easily but she's just too fucking great and i so cannot lose her, i lost melinda who was like the greatest thing in my freshman year of highschool but this year ever since she turned sixteen, we've fallen apart, i read my horoscopes one day and it said to lose what you love basically and i told melinda i couldn't take her bull shitting anymore and we grew apart from that. i then gave in because like i said i don't wanna lose her and shit but everything was cool for about two days then i started sitting with ashley and this other ashley gass chick who i totally hate with everything i feel, and i duno melinda was like ew they suck ew they're gay ew they're lesbians and stuff like that and i don't like hearing that so i walked away from her and we haven't talked since..but melinda was a good person when i met her, we spent all last summer sleeping in her backyard in a tent, listening to my Grease sondtrack and dancing with our shirts off and bras on. she was really fun to be with but her parents weren't the greatest of people..so selfish and jealous over our friendship they pulled me away from her.. I duno i'm writing way too much so I'll end this for now. Just remember this: for long you live and high you fly and smiles you give and tears you cry but all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be. [ash!] I love you sweetheart! Please forgive and forget!! 4 Thinks it's kinda funny| I think It's Kinda Sad

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