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Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
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9:43 am - Has been awhile..
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Its been awhile since i was last in this thing. For the past 2 weekends Ive been spending my time in Clinton hanging out with old friends. Seems everyone is doing well except for Mark and Jay. Gosh you would never assume your old christian friends would turn out to be the biggest druggies in your old town.. pretty sad, I stil cant grasp the feeling of it.
Justin, matt, jimmy and luke are in this band called "The ides of April." They really are awesome, they played live for me and kodi and the energy they give off is amazing, I guess they have actually had some big shows and played with some pretty important people. Seems like old friends have either changed and are doing really good or really bad. The Ides Of April are seriously going somewhere, and really are the poo.
Everything has been going pretty good. IVe been able to be with my girlfriend a lot recently and Im really enjoying being around her, we are deffinetly going to be together for a long time. I love her so much, never thought things could be moving so quickly with school and all, but i know we will make it thourhg it all, because our bond is so strong.
current mood: nerdy
current music: Hawthorne Heights
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| Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
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12:18 am - Gah
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So I just got off the phone with Sam... some things were said that are keeping me up. I cant sleep and I tried calling Andrea... I really shouldnt have. Lois called me back, I got a good startle out of it but it kinda seemed like she was putting her self on the line telling me how things were, maybe 6 months is paying off. I need to talk to you andi.
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| Monday, April 25th, 2005
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3:40 pm - Good Weeks and Mild Days..
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This whole previous week kicked anus, I got to see my girlfriend every damn day of it and it was nice.. With everything i am I love being around her, even just a smell of her gets me riled up to be with her. She is everything i could ask for and more.
Running is a bitch! Im so tired, for the last week and a half now i get up at six and run with my friend Ryan, I feel good the first 2 hours after running and then it hits me hard and I pass out in the middle of class. It sucks but its deffinetly paying off. Got to go to Zachs now, then take my girly to safety town.
current music: Brave Saint Saturn
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| Thursday, April 21st, 2005
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10:02 pm - So Obviously Desperate...
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Havent wrote in a while, might as well catch things up to date... Last week went by real quick after prom, basically did NOTHING! The week came and went and left me on friday, where things went crazy. Im not about to go into it on this site, but lets just say after what happened, Im much closer to my girlfriend and her family. Selfish, all Im concerned about is me... the things she had to go through. .:sigh:.
So youve figured out my little secret. I might as well just aim this whole thing at you now. Im waiting on your call. I miss you so much already.
So seems like everything is good with you. Weve been able to see eachother a lot more, and I really enjoy that. I bet 5 bucks you make a journal now. Cant belive we ran into eachother in Columbia, or the Wendys thing. Im... cough cough .. a part of your family... cough cough lol. I love you.
current mood: mellow
current music: The TV.
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| Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
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8:58 am - Prom...
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Last Week and this has gone by so fast. Last week all went by really well. The whole rush of prom being last Saturday got everyone really riled up. It ended up going great. I looked decent, and my girlfriend was on fire. She looked gorgeous. So Im Happy that part is over though. I had fun dancing with my girlfriend at the dance, and bubbas dinner was very well planned and thought out. I had a lot of fun. So I swear yesterday was prom but today is actually wednesday, and it just seems like its all moving so fast. Im so nervous about graduating and starting the real life. Got church tonight. and Im excited. Were gonna eat chinese before we go. Write more later.
current mood: blah
current music: Sounds of the library.
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| Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
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3:52 pm - Just One Of Those Days.
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Didnt go to school today, didnt feel to well. Not only that but I deffinetly needed some extra sleep. Its my little brothers brithday, hard to see him grow up so quickly. So today probably wont be the greatest day because Im not allowed to leave. So I might have a new job at pizza hut, or atleast I hope... It would be real nice. I got a fat check yesterday from social security, my car still isnt fixed so ill be able to use some for it. $2500 :)
So this weekend is prom, Ive got my tux, got my stuff and im ready to go. Im excited to dance with my girlfriend and have a good night. Im so upset that her parents are so gay. Still being themselves... they are going to let her go, but she has an early curfew and everything else, I dont drink and neither does she, but she'll probably come back and her dad will make her give a breathalizer hehe :P Well wish me the best for this weekend.
God, I havent forgotten, and I havent let things change. I still have faith and complete trust that the things I have asked for are true and are coming true, bless my family and myself, and my girlfriend. Forgive me for my sins. God give me guidance on the leadership camp, on wether I should pay the money to go or not because it is quite expensive. I love you God. Amen.
current music: Matchbook Romance - If All Else Fails
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| Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
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12:53 am - These Walls Are Closing In..
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I feel myself getting more angry. Each step growing harder. I love her so much and I know its not going to end, but her parents really do suck. It started out bad from the start, Andrea and I were fine, but her parents were not, too many rules and close minded ideals. They think poorly of me to an extreme and Im sick of it. I wish I could just walk up to them and say " Listen to me this once, IM NOT A BAD KID. Heres my ferking resume, im qualified and Im good enough now leave me the hell alone." Yeah its great that Andi and I can see eachother now, but it doesnt help that it keeps getting cut shorter. First its not at all, Second its all the time, Third its Only on weekends, and now its whenever they feel like it and only when they can moniter us like children. Gah I hope things start looking up.
God, I just want to say, Im trying, I really am this time. Without making it obvious to the world, you know what Im quitting, and I promise to keep it that way. I dont need to make deals with you, youre God, but this once just do me this favor, its all I ask, Im scared. I love you so much, please forgive me for my sins, and continue leading the way for me, light my path and keep it bright.
" Man vs. Himself, Man vs. Machine, Man vs. The World, Mankind vs. Me, The Strugles Go On, The Wisdom I Lack, The Burdens Keep Piling, Up On My Back, Its So Hard To Breathe, To Take The Next Step, The Mountain Is High, As I Wait In The Depths, Yearning For Grace, And Hoping For Peace, Dear God Increase, HEALING HANDS, Oh God Have Mercy On Our Hearts, Clean The Souls, Once Again, Jesus Christ, Light Up The World, Burning Bright, Within Our Hearts Forever.
current mood: contemplative
current music: Five Iron Frenzy-Every New Day
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| Friday, April 1st, 2005
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8:04 am - The Week..
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The week has gone pretty well so far, its finally friday.. April Fools and I wanted to do something fun to scare my girlfriend, not sure quite yet what it is though. So today I get my car fixed, Im real excited. I get to see my girlfriend today, her parents confined us seeing eachother to the weekends and wednesdays.. its sucks.
current mood: cheerful
current music: Cute Without the E - Taking Back Sunday
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| Saturday, March 26th, 2005
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4:11 pm - So Far.. So Bad..
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I had to get up early for work today, and I ended up none stop working my butt off, sucked real bad. We start nearing the end of my work day when things when for the crapper. Here I am making a sandwich, I had previously thrown a piece of cheese at my friend when things went bad. Kevin is the guy i threw cheese at.. well I get warned by the manager when kevin jokingly starts throwning lettuce, tomato and pickle at tracy the manager, she laughs and walks back up to front line. ( No Big Deal ) Im making the sandwich and kevin throws a part of a chicken nugget at my nose and tracy sees it. She yells at me and tells me just to go home that I was fired, just like the no explanation no nothing. I argue some and say what the heck I didnt do anything kevin threw it at me... well she stays with it and goes for the stubborn end and sends me home, i get up front to check out and im pissed off and just punch the wall on my way out. Barb is the head manager, and I have to call her tonight to find out what the deal is... odds are I dont have a job, and if i do, im not coming back on anyones good side.
current mood: aggravated
current music: Killswitch Engage
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| Friday, March 25th, 2005
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11:32 pm - First Entry For The Second Time..
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So Ive done blurty before... and I gave up on it because I wrote about the same stuff day in and day out. I'm giving it another shot, hoping that theres a possibilty I'll be able to let some stuff out and break that old style of writing. Im so in love. Andrea has been with my for close to 6 months and its everything I know about love, I'll be with her forever. She is so beautiful in all things, her smile, her eyes, the way her hair smells. Sometime back I found myself hunting for that story book ending, the one where they live happily ever after, and I finally found it. I ached for the longest time, I was running girl to girl in search of someone I could stick with, someone that made me feel special and someone who made me ache for them. That someone is Andrea. We are like best friends... in everything, we can talk, we can laugh, we can do fun stuff like wrestle or watch a movie together, and at the same time we can lay in bed and snuggle and hold eachother, where everyting else just seems to fade away except the warmth of her skin against mine.
I cant ever help but feel like something isnt right in my life. Everything is perfect, seriously and honestly for the first time perfect. I need to push myself to be harder on myself when it comes to making choices though. Ive quit a lot of the old stuff I used to do to bring myself closer to God, but somethings feel too good to let go; to be a sin. So maybe that's all, maybe I need to hold myself back sometimes, So I dont have to worry about it anymore, and then EVERYTHING actually will be perfect.
I had the time of my life this whole week. Taste of Chaos kicked my anus. Seriously had the best time right there with some of my favorite bands in front of me. I got to be with my girlfriend, and didnt have to worry about little things like having friends around when we snuggled or holding back on anything else. Seems like her parents might actually be accepting of me. Weve been together almost 6 months now and up until the fifth month, her parents thought I was nothing but bad news. Im so happy im with her, honestly the highlight of my life.
I cant wait til it warms the ferk back up. I dont mind snuggling with my girly, but outside of that I WANT TO BE OUTSIDE SKATING AND IN THE SUN. Gosh. I need exercise and the fresh air, I feel like Ive been sitting on my butt forever. Tomarrow is going to be so awesome, except for work. Get up at 7 and work from 8-4; get home take shower and hang out with my girl at my house for the first time since new years ( since shes been at my house) and then go see the ring 2. Then I get to go to sleep, wake up, do the Easter thing with the family, and then head to work again. YAY. Yeah so maybe its not so awesome cept for seeing my girly and seeing the ring. Well Im going to bed, early day tomarrow.
current mood: chipper
current music: Devil In New Jersey-Coheed And Cambria
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