Yesterday was ok after school. At first I was having a really shitty time because I wanted to do all of the stuff I put in my last entry, but my friends had other plans and forced me into conforming to them. But we went to the movies, and it was fun. Hung out with Christian after the movies..Went to Coffe & which was ok last night. For some reason I didnt want to leave the second I walked in like I usually do. The went back to Christian ( ok...YOUR) house and hung out with you until curphew....I had fun. I love you so much sweetie!!! I wasn't really mad at you at all yesterday. I was only joking, I'm sorry you thought I was serious. anyhoo, went home, fell asleep. Shaun called me at like 11:30 asking me for advice about his girlfriend. I guess Susie is starsting shit with im and his girlfriend, telling her to break up with him. He really likes her so I told him to ignore her and stop hanging out there. There's more fun and less sedative things to do than hang out and ferment in that stupid dramatic,horrible place. Anyhoo, then I fell asleep at like 11:50 and woke up five hours and ten minutes later. Got ready for skewl, didn't do my hair, and came here, to skewl...FUN FUN FUN. Well, time to leave, I'll write later. I love you...smoooch!!
current mood: tired current music: Ani DeFranco- Gravel
this day has been so weird so far. I have this horrible unsettling feeling and I dont know why...I need to get some serious sleep, hang out at home, clean my room, fill out forms for school, write my schalapship essay, paint, work, listen to happy songs, vacuum, clean out my car, light some candles, burn some inscence, rejuvinate my wardrobe, NOT talk on the phone, NOT get distracted easily, NOT answer when certain people call, DO something good, become a hermit if only for a few hours...I think I might just do that today... I need time to think... I don't think enough lately and it's caused me to jump to hasty conclusions and unthought decisions so I think instead of just jumping around in my head I might just try to focus on one thing instead of blurring my head with ten.
I'm so sick of getting up for school.
I woke up 45 minutes late today. I missed 0 period again. I have to hand in my sheets. I need money. I should get another job...or maybe work more. I need money so bad. I need a new car. Mine is about to break so bad. I want to ask my gramma for the money she has for me but I'm afraid to. She always rubs things in my face when she gives me money like, "Oh...You only call when you need something." RAAAR I go see her all the time but thats not enough...eff...I have to go now...On to another pointless class...
I tried posting this in your journal, but I can't post until I confirm my e-mail address.
Sorry it was so long? IT WASNT LONG ENOUGH!!! I love you so much sweetie and I'm really sorry that everything is going so shitty...I didnt know that they were making you leave...I'm sorry. One day when we are old we can get a nice big house that we can never get kicked out of!!! It will be great. I'm sorry your so stressed out. If there's evrr anyhting I do that contributes to your stress then please tell me because I never want to make you sad. I'll try and make you happy though!!! Dont worry things will get better and YOU ARE NOT A LOSER for taking the bus...I used to take the bus... There's nothing wrong with the GD bus!!! But if you ever need a ride ANYWHERE don't hesitate to ask...I will drop anything (except work and school) to help you so PLEASE ASK!!! I love you, have a nice day today, my darling.
tired
uncomfortable
giddy