She'll break your heart and this time I won't care.   
07:24pm 27/12/2004
  I've managed to get tomorrow night off. Flint's working for me, and I'm set for our Boston trip. I'm wicked pumped. Yes, so I'll be in Boston all day tomorrow. We're going places like Virgin Music Place, Nuggets, Newbury Street, Tokyo Kid, and such places. Or, so Josh says. Paul is going unless he has to work. I'm excited. Unless he can't get work off. Then I'll be sad. The only person I'm really 'friends' with otherwise is Josh. I don't really know any of the others too well.
Today, I slept, and slept plenty. Then I went to the mall to buy some things. (I had too many gift cards and such. Felt the need to spend some). I bought a sticker, a shirt that says 'Green Eggs and Ham', and two movies: A Knights Tale (♥), and Dodge Ball (because it's so ridiculously idiotic that it's amusing).
I'm ALSO wicked pumped for New Year's Eve. You have no idea.
Oh, and Brian is insanely idiotic, Heather's a psycho-bitch, and I know I'll be stuck in the middle of it again at some point. Yes, I was going to be a rebound fuck. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, right? *rolls eyes* Despite his fervent protesting that I was not, as I said, a rebound fuck, I still stood by my belief. Oh, and how right I was. You know what, though? I don't care. I can honestly say that, and mean every word of it. It was a mistake, and that's it. What's done is done.
She'll break your heart and this time I won't care.

I want a Mr. Paul Wyatt Day soon. This week if possible. I must contact him.
And a Kate Day. And a Martha Day. :( Please?


Heath Ledger is a wicked hot knight, and you all know it...

(Let This Last Forever)

10:40pm 24/12/2004
  The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)High
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)High
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

(Let This Last Forever)

Farewell Blurty.   
05:22pm 14/09/2004
mood: apathetic
Gah, I'm so sick of doing blurty, and I'm sick of reading all of your mindless bullshit, fuckers. (Ha.) There's one or two of you that have journals that I'll still read. You know who you are. *shrugs* At least, I suppose you do. You could *ask*, right here, but other than that, I'm not saying anything more about it. I'm not *trying* to be a bitch, but some of this shit I read here just pisses me off, (And you all put it there knowing it will).

Today I say goodbye to my blurty forever. Farewell. I have a new journal. Its not on this site, and it's going to be friend-locked. I'm sick of all this bullshit. No more fuck-ups with journals, and no more reading anger-inducing shit. Byebye.

(4 deep thoughts | Let This Last Forever)

02:13pm 16/08/2004
mood: sore
music: City High- 'What would you do?'
I worked for 11 and a half hours yesterday.

*points at song*

"Boys and girls wanna hear a true story;
Saturday night 'was at this real wild party.
They had the liquor overflowin' in cups,
About 5, 6 strippers tryin' to work for a buck,
And I took one girl outside with me,
Her name was Loni, she went to junior high with me.
I said, 'Why you up in there dancin' for cash,
I guess a whole lots changed since I seen you last.'
She said, 'What would you do if your son was at home,
Crying all alone on the bedroom floor, 'cause he's hungry,
And the only way to feed him is to
Sleep with a man for a little bit of money.
And his daddy's gone;
Somewhere smokin' rock now, in and outta lock down,
I ain't got a job now.
So for you, this is just a good time, but for me,
This is what I call life.
'Girl you aint the only one with a baby.
That's no excuse to be livin' all crazy.'
Then she looked me right square in the eye,
And said, 'Everyday I wake up, hoping to die.'
She sai, 'N**** I know about pain, cause,
Me and my sister ran away so my daddy couldn't rape us.
Before I was a teenager, I'd have been through more shit
You can't even relate to.'
--What would you do if your son was at home,
crying' all alone on the bedroom floor, Cause he's hungry,
And the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money.
And his daddy's gone; Somewhere somking rock now, in and outta lock down.
So, for you, this is just a good time, but for me this is what I call life.--


'What would you do?'
Get up on my feet and let go of every excuse.
'What would you do?'
Cause I wouldn't want my baby to go through what I went through.
'C'mon, what would you do?'
Get up on my feet and stop making tired excuses.
'What would you do?'
Girl, I know if my mother can do it, baby you can do it."

This song depresses me a little bit...

(Let This Last Forever)

Sunburn.Lots of mom trouble.Dan almost killing James and DEFINITELY killing his car.Yea.Good times..   
11:27pm 11/08/2004
mood: hopeful
music: Tesla- Words Can't Explain
Monday, I went to the beach. Fell asleep/passed out, and got a wicked bad sunburn. It was a weird sunburn, though, because of shadows, and such...Eh. Then I went to work.
Tuesday was pretty bad, for the most part. Called Meg, but she was sleeping, so I told Hannah that I was going to come over and bring Corey. She was all excited and such. So Corey and I left on bikes. Figured it wasn't TOO far, and I knew exactly where it was. Oh so very wrong. See...I was in Marshfield and I had to ride my bike to Duxbury. I went the wrong direction for two miles. Then we came back, and went the other way. Went the wrong way somewhere in there again. Finally, we started going the right way. Got to Meg's, and Meg was still sleeping. So me and Corey were hanging out with Hannah and Krista for a little while, until Meg was up. I knew I had to get going back home at about 3:30, because I had to be at work before 5. At around 3, Corey, Hannah, and Krista decide that they're going to the beach. I told Corey to be back in a half hour, or I'd be late for work. Corey did not come back. So I left alone, knowing that my mom was going to be pissed that I 'lost' my cousin. I wasn't paying attention and took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere in Brant Rock. So, I knew where I WAS, but I didn;t know how to get home from there. So I called Gabe, because he knows Marshfield better than I do. No answer, because he was probably at work. Called Joe. He, also, was at work. So I gave up (very easily) and called Meg. Her mom came to pcik me (and the bike...) up to drive me home. Got home, and my mom was RIPSHIT. I got screamed at for such a long time. Then I got screamed at for leaving Corey and 'not planning my time accordingly'. Sucked. A lot. Then my mother insisted upon going to get Corey BEFORE driving me to work (I was already going to be late at this point.) We figured he'd be there in the house waiting. Nope. They were all back at the beach. So I had to go find them, and drag Corey back. Yelled at him for a while on the way back to the house, because he could have made me lose my job if I hadn't been working there for so long. Then my mom yelled at him when we were back in the car again. Then NO one talked on the ride to Plymouth. I left, and was wicked upset/angry. I went into work, a half hour late, and was pissed, throwing my bag down. I turned around, and there was Charlie, a few feet away with his arms open. Ha. I went and hugged him. He told me to go to the bathroom and calm down and said "Whatever it is, it's not worth getting this mad over." So, I came back, and there was ALEC, arms outstretched. Heh. He's adorable sometimes. So I went over and huigged him, and he grabbed me and picked me up and such. Hahaha, he IS adorable. Work was alright for the rest of the night.
Today...I woke up around 12. Ate 'breakfast' then. Ok. So it was brunch. Bowl of Special K Vanilla Almond (best cereal EVER), two slices of toast on wheat bread with peanut butter, and a glass of grapefruit juice. Mmmmm. Awesome. Then we went to go visit my grandfather, because he's going in for that surgery tomorrow. Then I came home and took a shower and such, and went to youth group. There wasn't a normal youth group (people always forget to tell me these things, of course). There was still a whole mess of people there, though. There always is on Wednesdays. The Halo crew, of course. Plus a few others who weren't informed that there was no youth group, like me. Gah. So, yea. I showed up, and it was all guys. They started shooting their dirty mouths and *laughs* then went to play Halo. So I got bored, and Jeff and I went to the mall for a little bit (he was going anyway, and I needed to get out of there for awhile). Went to Newbury Comics, and he bought...comics. Heh. He tried to reach up and grab a comic that was higher up, and he was like "I'm so SHORT." I just laughed, and he was like "Don't laugh because I'm short!". So I told him, "I wasn't laughing because you're short. I was laughing because you're BITCHING about being short." Hahaha I ♥ Jeff. We were walking through the food court, and I heard people yelling my name. I turned around, and there were Mandy and Courtney. (You'd have thought they would have forgotten about me by now. Haha.) Talked to them for a few minutes. They're like, yeaaa we should hang out. I'm like, ok. So, they now have my screename. Right. So then JEff and I went back to the youth group. Everyone was playing Halo, still. So, we sat on the couches upstairs, and I whipped my back around and stuff fell out, and he started laughed. Heh. So I went and gave a real quick smack on the arm, then went back to sit down. So he looked in the couch for things to throw at me. Was good. *laughs*. We got bored really quick again. So we went bowling. *laughs* Then we came back and some people had come upstairs, so we stayed that time. Then we went out to the parking lot for awhile (It was kind of hot inside) and people were playing frisbee in the (kind of) dark. Dan was being stupid with James, and James was on the back of Dan's Ford Explorer while he was driving it. He went down this little hill on the side of the parking lot (where the complex is with all the doctors offices). He went to back up, then James turned his head and saw a TREE, so he jumped off, about a second before Dan smashed into it doing 20. It crahsed into the tree when James was midair after jumping off. It was like some kind of 'bad nightmare'. A few of us were standing in the parking lot, noting how dumb they were being, and how stupid James was to be on the back of ANYTHING Dan was driving. And as we were watching, all we saw and heard was the tree coming down (medium sized tree), and James yelling. Nathan was like, "Oh, that's not good." And the group of us ran over to see what had happened (which included, Tim Kane, Eliza, Nathan, me, and some younger kid). Dan's bumper was OFF, the tailgate was crushed and the back windshield was GONE. It was shatter proof, so it came out, THEN shattered. Gah. So, yea. Dan almost killed James. He DID kill the tree, though. The base of it was still there, but the entire rest of it was on the ground (it was kind of a bigger tree than we thought...). Nathan and I went in and told the people who were still playing Halo about it. We were like "Dan backed his car into a tree--" And that was pretty much all Jon needed to hear. He was like "He didn't!"(and then said something else. I dont' really remember. It was something about Dan being su,b, though). And he ran up the stairs and outside, along with, like, Matty, Mark, and whoever else. It was crazy. James told Dan that he should go to the cops and tell them it was a hit and run. *rolls eyes*. This was when they were all examining the car. Nathan had to leave, because if the cops came...yea....and he's still on probation. He came back later, though. So...yea. Then I hung out with Tim, James and Eliza for awhile. James wasn't TOO hurt. Just some cuts from when he jumped off. He was like "Ah! I almost DIED. That was thrilling, but I wouldn't do it again." I was like, "Yea, ironically, Dan's the only person my mom will let me drive with." And James, comes out of the bathroom, while dressing his wounds, and was like "What?! HA! She might want to rethink THAT one." Then we went outside, and hung out until Tim and Eliza left. I went back downstairs, and Nathan came back. Jon, Matty, and Mark were still playing some video game. My mom came to pick me up a few minutes later, though. Then I went home. Then I typed all of this, and now I'm sick of typing. So, yea. This has been my week so far. Pretty action packed. *laughs* I wonder what will happen tomorrow.

So, I might go to Kris' band's show in Plymouth on Friday...Or I might go to the Halo All-Nighter. Or I might just stay home at dad's. Who knows. My dad might not want me going anywhere.
I might get a Mina Day next week sometime. *nods* Awesome. I hope the rest of my summer contains 'excitement' like this week did. It's usually pretty boring. Occasionally something will happen, but not like it has this week and such.

(2 deep thoughts | Let This Last Forever)

For no reason, out of nowhere, this made me sooo happy.   
01:27am 08/08/2004
  Matty Stu117 [12:57 AM]: goodnight
Matty Stu117 [12:57 AM]: oh wait
Matty Stu117 [12:58 AM]: nevermind
Matty Stu117 [12:58 AM]: bye
MyFearOfFading [12:58 AM]: Hm???

MyFearOfFading [12:58 AM]: No, what
MyFearOfFading [12:58 AM]: *laughs*
Matty Stu117 [12:58 AM]: just something stupid
MyFearOfFading [12:58 AM]: Tell me!
MyFearOfFading [12:58 AM]: LoL
Matty Stu117 [12:58 AM]: I did read something about bracelets you make...whats the deal with that?
MyFearOfFading [12:59 AM]: I make bracelets. *nods* LoL
Matty Stu117 [12:59 AM]: well, if you ever feel like making one thats not all bright and fruity, I'll probly wear it. I have like zero jewelry
Matty Stu117 [1:00 AM]: 'cept for my necklace
MyFearOfFading [1:00 AM]: <3!!! *dances* I'll make you one!!.. But what do you mean 'bright'
Matty Stu117 [1:00 AM]: I love my necklace
Matty Stu117 [1:01 AM]: idk, seems like its probly a fun craft thing you enjoy, and I figured I would give you the oppurtunity to make one
Matty Stu117 [1:01 AM]: or not, its up to you
MyFearOfFading [1:01 AM]: Yayyy! *dances* I love making them. <3 LoL
MyFearOfFading [1:02 AM]: Yep, I'll make one. But what did you mean by not 'bright'. What do you consider 'bright'
Matty Stu117 [1:02 AM]: like the ones you wear
MyFearOfFading [1:02 AM]: Ah. *laughs*
Matty Stu117 [1:02 AM]: neon pink and orange
Matty Stu117 [1:02 AM]: no thanks...
MyFearOfFading [1:02 AM]: Heh.
Matty Stu117 [1:02 AM]: my favorite colors are blue, black, and white, incase that helps
MyFearOfFading [1:03 AM]: Yayyyy! Yep. I'll make one. *dances*
MyFearOfFading [1:03 AM]: Heh.
Matty Stu117 [1:03 AM]: sweet thanks, bye


(Let This Last Forever)

10:56pm 05/08/2004
  *sighs* Autumn is sorry...  

(2 deep thoughts | Let This Last Forever)

Being forgiving, but not being able to explain how/why I'm changing myself for the better.   
11:57pm 04/08/2004
mood: optimistic
music: Rufio, I believe.
Ah, well. Gabe never called or came to pick me up. So, no sushi with Gabe. Ah, well. Only proves that he's human and makes mistakes. *shrugs* I'm learning to forgive people quite easily. They're only excuse I can see, is 'They're only human.' And 'Human's make mistakes'. So, I've decided that most can be forgiven and given another chance. I've also decided that I won't bitch about the mistakes they make. I'm not going to get angry so easily. I'm going to calm myself down. *nods* I'm getting so much better. I'm actually just making myself a better person in general...It's hard to explain, though. I wish I could sit here and type here, exactly why I'm doing this, and what I'm changing, and how I'm changing myself. Yet, I know at the same time that I can't do that. I'll try and explain some things as time passes.

So, at youth group, I saw a few people I didn't expect to see. Nick (Roy) had returned. Paul and Mitch stopped by, as well. Tim was there. So was Ben. It was nice.
When a few people were downstairs playing HALO, I decided to go down and watch for a little while. I ended up deciding, also, to play, as sort of ...a way to reminisce. It was actually a lot of fun, and I didn't suck as bad as I did when I last played. I didn't come in last place. It was a confidence booster, of sorts. Therefore, I decided something else. That I'm going to play the majority of the weeks that I go to youth group. Wednesdays...are my escape from 'real life', yes, but it's also part of my 'real life' it seems...That, too is a difficult thing to explain.

I'm going to be more optimistic about things from now on. Feel free to personally come and scold me if I deviate from this plan if mine...As it is incredibly important that I stick to this one...

Have a nice night, all. I'm going to sleep early for once. (I'm changing my sleep schedule, so I won't be tired all the time. Plus I've constantly have dark circles under my eyes that will never go away unless I start getting enough sleep. Wednesday nights are the only nights that I'm allowing myself up past like, 10-ish. )

Oh, and I've also realized why I can't stay in shape or whatever. Why I can't diet correctly when I do. I stay the same weight, or gain more. It's because I sleep all day, thus skipping breakfast, which starts up the metabolism. So, everything I eat is retained...And that's not good.

Ah, well. Farewell, my dears.

(Let This Last Forever)

Too tired to make a real 'Kerri' update...   
11:51pm 03/08/2004
mood: nauseated
music: bunch of Failure's songs
Yea...I don't feel like updating much right now. Tired. Going to bed soon. Didn't go to sleep last night.

So I called Gabe, and we're going for sushi tomorrow. Hahaha, just by talking to him on the phone, I could tell that he was fucking SHITFACED OUT OF HIS MIND! :-P I ♥ Gabe more than most people.

I can talk to Gabe for extensive periods of time. I can't talk to Charlie for more than 10 minutes without getting a little bit annoyed (who can??). Gabe's not whiny...Charlie is. Gabe is highly intellegent and has many intellegent things to say...CHARLIE evidently talks just to hear himself talk (says Meghan...Hm. *shrugs* Maybe he does do that...)
(I can talk to Gabe longer than I can talk to Charlie, even if Gabe's shitfaced.*laughs*)

(Let This Last Forever)

Way too tired to make a real 'Kerri' update...   
11:44pm 03/08/2004
  Yea...I don't feel like updating much right now. Tired. Going to bed soon. Didn't go to sleep last night.

So I called Gabe, and we're going for sushi tomorrow. Hahaha, just by talking to him on the phone, I could tell that he was fucking SHITFACED OUT OF HIS MIND! :-P I ♥ Gabe more than most people.

I can talk to Gabe for extensive periods of time. I can't talk to Charlie for more than 10 minutes without getting a little bit annoyed (who can??). Gabe's not whiny...Charlie is. Gabe is highly intellegent and has many intellegent things to say...CHARLIE evidently talks just to hear himself talk (says Meghan...Hm. *shrugs* Maybe he does do that...)
(I can talk to Gabe longer than I can talk to Charlie, even if Gabe's shitfaced.*laughs*)

(Let This Last Forever)

I guess I deserve it for being such a horrible person...??   
09:44pm 01/08/2004
mood: nauseated
music: Nothing. The clicking of my damn lighter.
Ok...Thursday I went to visit Paul. Went out for sushi. (might have already put this in an entry)

Friday...Did nothing during the day. Went out for sushi. Gabe called about 1 or 2 on Saturday morning. I was glad he called. He hadn't called anyone since the 4th of July. And I was the first one he called. I felt special. I'm pretty much the only one he calls BACK anymore, either.

Saturday...Slept most of the day. Watched some TV...Movie...Read a little...took a shower, and went to work. I got to work with Carrie, and she's awesome. Gabe called again at around 12:30 . *was all happy...* We talked for a long time. Talking to Gabe *always* puts me in a better mood.

Sunday...Went to work. Wasn't as fun today...Meghan made us *work*. Eddie never MAKES us work. I usually do shit anyway. I'm usually the ONLY one besides Eddie that does shit. But yea. I brought my dad a pizza that he wanted...I bought a kids meal, JUST so I could get the blow up pink fish ball... :-P *special*

Went to the mall real quick to buy a few CD's. (Actually went IN for 1...came out with 3).

Then I came home to THIS shit. :)<

(3 deep thoughts | Let This Last Forever)

*She* knew something like this would happen...   
01:52pm 26/07/2004
mood: awake
music: 'Wild World'
I hate how Jackie's wierd premonitions always tend to be correct, in some form or another...

I love being woken up by the cops...

(Let This Last Forever)

Why do I have to screw so many things up?But frosting can fix lots things sometimes...Mm.   
12:33am 26/07/2004
mood: gloomy
music: 'Happy Days' Theme Song
I need to feel better very quickly.

Me and Charlie's relationship is not in a very good state. We were fighting on Saturday night...Then he came in today to say hi. Almost forgot about last night, you know. He looked at me and held his arms out for a hug, smiling. I just backed away. And he's all like "What's wrong?" pffft. And Kris was just like "She's mad at you, dude." "Yea. I'm wicked pissed at you." I upset him. I turned around and he was walking out the door, without saying anything to anyone...I'm such a bitch...

Jeff wants to still be friends. Because he 'still likes me a real lot'. I understand his reasoning...But It still 'hurts like a muthafuckin' bitch'. But I also...really really still do like him And I'm not entirely sure that I can handle that...I promised that I'd try...

MyFearOfFading [11:40 PM]: You know what, fuck it. I'll deal with it myself. I'll just go to youth group and fucking suck it up.
MyFearOfFading [11:41 PM]: It's going to destroy me, but I'm going to do it anyway.
MaXimumChargeR [11:42 PM]: thank you!
MaXimumChargeR [11:42 PM]: your awesome
MyFearOfFading [11:42 PM]: Whatever.
MaXimumChargeR [11:44 PM]: thanx kerri your the best
MaXimumChargeR [11:44 PM]: man that was an easy way out
MaXimumChargeR [11:44 PM]: im so proud of you
MyFearOfFading [11:44 PM]: Correction.Easy way out for you.
MaXimumChargeR [11:45 PM]: sowwie
MaXimumChargeR [11:45 PM]: well i wanted an easy wayt out for both of us

MaXimumChargeR [11:50 PM]: if it makes you feel any better i still like you...


MaXimumChargeR [11:51 PM]: i want you to feel better
MaXimumChargeR [11:51 PM]: what can i do


He's making such a sincere effort to make me happier...Too bad it *can't* work..And he's wasting his time.

Me and Jackie are going to frolic about the center tomorrow. On bikes. Because we're amazing. And too lazy to walk. AND we reach our dumbass quota for the day. Three points. We win. :-D And maybe it will make me feel a little better. Of course...Jeff is working tomorrow. And he works in the center, damn it. I'm pissed, but I'm going to try and steer clear.

Going to buy...duct tape.

MaXimumChargeR [10:31 PM]: i dunno how to put this are you feeling better about last night?
MyFearOfFading [10:31 PM]: Sure, I guess so.
MaXimumChargeR [10:32 PM]: well thats good cuz last night man
MaXimumChargeR [10:32 PM]: im so sorry
MyFearOfFading [10:32 PM]: Why should you be.
MaXimumChargeR [10:32 PM]: cuz its my fault remember not yours :)
MyFearOfFading [10:33 PM]: Eh.
MaXimumChargeR [10:33 PM]: eh?
MyFearOfFading [10:33 PM]: *shrugs*
MyFearOfFading [10:33 PM]: The frosting fixed what you could not. *nods*
MaXimumChargeR [10:33 PM]: lol
MaXimumChargeR [10:33 PM]: frosting?
MyFearOfFading [10:34 PM]: Yes, frosting. Frosting can temporarily fix most of my problems.
MaXimumChargeR [10:34 PM]: well im glad to hear that then
Oh, yes. Frosting. ♥

(1 deep thought | Let This Last Forever)

Why can't I be happy for any extensive period of time? *so sad*   
11:50pm 24/07/2004
mood: crushed
music: None...
So me and Jeff are done...After three days. Mainly because he didn't want to hurt me at the end of the summer when he had to go to college. I told him that I wouldn't have been hurt like that, from the beginning. But no...He didn't think so. I know I wouldn't have been hurt then, because I would have accepted the reason why...So he broke up with me because he still really likes me and didn't want to hurt me. How ironic...I'm hurt worse.

I can't ever have what I want...And I won't be able to have Nick, either, I bet...

(3 deep thoughts | Let This Last Forever)

Screamed at my brother for a half hour.   
11:02pm 23/07/2004
mood: okay
music: Watching a movie. No music
Jeff came over todayt. We watched the Matrix Revolutions. Beginning kind of sucked...Ending was awesome, because they fought in the air and such. I don't feel like typing what happened today again...So I'll just put in the bitching I did at Seanny. (The exact same whiny-thing was used with Meghan). I was all upset and such.

MyFearOfFading [3:33 PM]: Seanny, my brother SUCKS.
MyFearOfFading [3:33 PM]: :(
Jump In The Void [3:33 PM]: why
MyFearOfFading [3:34 PM]: Because he came home when Jeff was over, and sat there the whole time. So nothing happened whatsoever. Part way through the movie, he came home.
MyFearOfFading [3:34 PM]: And I hadn;t seen the movie so I was actually WATCHING it...
MyFearOfFading [3:34 PM]: And Jeff stayed for 2 hours longer
MyFearOfFading [3:34 PM]: Little brother sat there the whole time...
MyFearOfFading [3:34 PM]: Never moved ONCE...
Jump In The Void [3:35 PM]: you should have been like GO AWAY YOU BITCH
MyFearOfFading [3:35 PM]: I did

Ok...So I know I'm going out with the guy...But...I also know that I can't get too attatched to him...I mean...He's leaving for school at the end of the summer. I've got a month with him, and that's it. I'm saving Nick for the school year...Unless I keep visiting him, he's not going to remember to call me anyway. He has my number, I don't have his. I can't wait for him.

(Let This Last Forever)

Gahhhhh! I'm all excited and freaking out at the same time.   
10:15am 23/07/2004
  Yeaaaaa, so. Jeff's coming over today. Yayyy.

I think we're watching the Matrix Revolutions...because I havent seen it and such. And whatever. *laughs* So yea...Movie. *dances* Ha! Watching a movie at home is infinitely better than watching one in the theater. Plus we did that yesterday. LoL.

Ok, so yea. I'm all wicked excited that Jeff is coming and such. Gahhh but this is going to be tricky. See, my mom's at work until late. My dad's not coming to pick Eric and I up until At LEAST 2:30. Maybe three. But my mom's boyfriend...He might show up here at some random time today. Hopefully it's before Jeff actually gets here in an hour and a half...He'd tell me mom I had a boy over. :(

I'd be dead. My mom would FLIP, and then she'd tell my dad. But at least he'd listen to my lies (or truths, sometimes, that my mom wont) and believe them. I'll get away with it with my dad. Because he 'knows I wouldn't do anything like that'. But really...If I got caught with a boy in my house, or more specifically on my couch..I'd be in sooo much trouble. (Hey, but it's better than in my bed, right?) Heh.

Gahhh *freaks out* Now I am worried.

(1 deep thought | Let This Last Forever)

And this is how a conversation with Jackie starts (don't worry Jackie, I heart you) LoL   
04:05am 23/07/2004
mood: amused
music: 80's TV Themes
novellaxroma [10:51 PM]: Orange penis.
MyFearOfFading [10:52 PM]: Kind of like banana penis?
novellaxroma [10:52 PM]: Or french-fry penis.
MyFearOfFading [10:52 PM]: penis.
MyFearOfFading [10:53 PM]: Oh wow. This is making me hungry for penis. *laughs hysterically*
novellaxroma [10:53 PM]: Pineapple penis.
novellaxroma [10:53 PM]: *laughs*
novellaxroma [10:53 PM]: Hm.
MyFearOfFading [10:53 PM]: Well, that most certainly was an interesting start to a conversation.
MyFearOfFading [10:53 PM]: *laughs*
novellaxroma [10:55 PM]: Indeed. *laughs* But we forgot "apple penis" and "kiwi penis."
novellaxroma [10:55 PM]: I like kiwis.
novellaxroma [10:55 PM]: Apples, too.

(Let This Last Forever)

YaY! Jeff! *dances*   
06:39pm 22/07/2004
mood: bouncy
music: Coheed!!-Three Evils
YaY! YaY! YaY! *dances* Jeff! Yay!

Ok, yea. Now that that's out of the way...*laughs*

Yes, so I went out with Jeff today. Was good. He was all cuuuute. *dances*

Ok, I'm done. There's not really much else you need to know...So yea.

Haha, I was so excited.

...And I don't think I'm over THAT, either...

(Let This Last Forever)

Whoa, where's this coming from?   
11:58pm 21/07/2004
mood: GRR!
Yea, so I just got a little bit jealous. I don't...get...jealous. What's wrong with me? I just got jealous, because Matty said that he was jealous of ME because I was talking to Danielle. He likes Danielle. I just got super jealous all of a sudden. Erm...I think I kind of sort of still have a bit of a thing for him...maybe...:( Hopefully it's just that. A bit of a thing. I like Nick more...But I still have a little/huge thing for Matty. Damn it.

Why, why WHY?!

(Let This Last Forever)

Danielle kicks ass, and Tim drives reaaaaally fast.   
11:10pm 21/07/2004
mood: bouncy
music: Nuthin. Watching 'End of the World' on Ebaums World. :)
I watched Romeo and Juliet again today. That movie kicks so much ass. I ♥ it bunches and BUNCHES!
Yea, so nothing else really happened before that...

Then youth group!

I met Danielle. She kicks SO much ass. We're hanging out soon. *dances*

Corey ate a total of four donuts and two sausages. And two sodas and a lemonade. :-P Pig.

Went for a drive in Tim's car. We went to go get drinks because we had none left. Haha. He drives fast. Well, even faster than the last few times I've driven with him. *laughs*

Dan brought his new girlfriend Kim...because he's such a Caity left right after she got there. Shit, I would have left, too. Who could have blamed her for that?

I then went home and felt like calling Tony. So I did. Talked to him for maybe a half hour.

I'm probably hanging out with Jeff tomorrow. Haha, I'm all excited and shit. :-P

MaXimumChargeR [10:41 PM]: you wanna hang out sometime?
MyFearOfFading [10:41 PM]: Sure.
MaXimumChargeR [10:42 PM]: i dunno what we can do
MaXimumChargeR [10:42 PM]: but i have a car
MaXimumChargeR [10:42 PM]: what are you doing tomorrow

*dances* Yayyy! Jeff! So, yea.
Bored of Blurty-ing, so I'm going to take an Ebaums break. LoL

(Let This Last Forever)