Dumb Quizzie...   
10:46am 02/11/2004
 
mood: dirty
music: Pixies I Bleed
DarkAngel
You're as dark as can get. You like to laugh at
people, make fun of them, hurt their feelings.
You're in so deep, you'll never get out, and
you probably don't want to get out too. You
make the world a darker place. Better get my
flashlight...


Please rate ^^


What kind of dark person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

 
     

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My New Poem...   
07:12pm 28/10/2004
 
mood: confused
music: Hole Malibu
drip, drop, drip
bloody (theres blood on my) fingertips
dripping down, drops on your lips
squeeze my hand
come hither
draw nearer
I love you, my love
overflowing, running over
my very life drips
bleeds out for you
only you
taste my life
taste my love
join me
for eternity
 
     

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I miss Drew...   
06:38pm 25/10/2004
 
mood: listless
music: Nightwish Ocean Soul
I miss Drew so much =(... I'm going so crazy living here at home. My dad is pushing me over my limits... He is really gonna make me break soon!

Last night, I started filling up this glass bottle full of blood, to give to Drew. I had a good amount of blood in there, and had to dump it out... it started clotting before I could find some alcohol. I can't wait until it's full... it will take me a few days/ week or so maybe... because the bottle is about 7 inches tall...
 
     

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=)   
11:07am 24/10/2004
 
mood: devious
music: Bauhaus Slice of Life
Having a baby with no arms is like shooting out a legged rocket...
 
     

4 SAID SOMETHING
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"Just Lose It" - Hillarious Lyrics...   
03:14pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: amused
music: Eminem Just Lose It
[Intro]
Guess who's back, back again
Shady's back, tell a friend

Now everyone report to the dance floor
To the dance floor, to the dance floor
Now everyone report to the dance floor
Alright stop, pajama time

[Verse 1]
Come here little kiddies on my lap
Guess who's back with a brand new rap
And I don't mean rap as in a new case
Of child investigation accusate
Ah ah ah ah ah, no worries
Papa's got a brand new bag of toys
What else could I possibly do to make noise?
I've done touched on everything but little boys
That's not a stab at Michael
That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho
I go a little bit crazy sometimes
I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes
Good god, dip, do a little slide
Bend down, touch your toes, and just glide
To the center of the dance floor
Like TP for my bung hole
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little "poot poot," it's ok
Oops my CD just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip

[Hook]
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy, shake that ass
Whoops I mean girl, girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it (ah ah ah ah ah)
Just lose it (ah ah ah ah ah)
Go crazy (ah ah ah ah ah)
Oh baby (ah ah) oh baby (ah ah)

[Verse 2]
It's Friday and it's my day
Used to party all the way to Sunday
Maybe 'til Monday
I don't know what day
Everyday's just a holiday
Cruisin' on the freeway, feelin' kind of breezy
Let the top down and my hair blow
I don't know where I'm goin'
All I know is when I get there someone's gonna (touch my body)
Excuse me miss, I don't mean to sound like a jerk
But I'm feelin' just a little stressed out from work
Would you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair
Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out (yeah)
What's ya name girl, what's ya sign?
(Man you must be up out yo mind)
Dre (ah ah) beer goggles, blind
I'm just tryin' to unwind (now I'm)

[Hook]
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy, shake that ass
Whoops I mean girl, girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it (ah ah ah ah ah)
Just lose it (ah ah ah ah ah)
Go crazy (ah ah ah ah ah)
Oh baby (ah ah) oh baby (ah ah)

[Verse 3]
It's Tuesday and I'm locked up
I'm in jail and I don't know what happened
They say I was runnin' butt naked
Down the street screamin' (ah ah ah ah)
Well I'm sorry, I don't remember
All I know is this much, I'm not guilty
They said "Save it, boy we got you on tape
Yellin' at an old lady to" (touch my body)
Now this is the part where the rap breaks down
Gets real intense, no one makes a sound
Everything looks like it's "8 Mile" now
The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves
Now snap back to reality, look it's B. Rabbit
Oh you signed me up to battle? I'm a grown man
Tubba tubba tubba tubba tubba tubba tubba
I don't have any lines to go right here so tubba
Tellytubby fellas (what) fellas (what)
Grab your left nut, make your right one jealous (what)
Black girls, white girls, skinny girls, fat girls
Tall girls, small girls, I'm callin' all girls
Everyone report to the dance floor
It's your chance for a little romance or butt squeezin'
It's the season, just go (ah ah ah ah)
It's so appeasin'

[Hook]
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance
Yeah boy, shake that ass
Whoops I mean girl, girl girl girl
Girl you know you're my world
Alright now lose it (ah ah ah ah ah)
Just lose it (ah ah ah ah ah)
Go crazy (ah ah ah ah ah)
Oh baby (ah ah) oh baby (ah ah)

Mmm mmm mmm Touch my body
Mmm mmm mmm Touch my body
Ooh boy, just touch my body
I mean girl, just touch my body
 
     

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Yay! I got to see my baby yesterday!   
03:09pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: amused
music: Eminem Just Lose It
My wisdom tooth that is coming is has been bothering me alot lately... SuXoR! :(... I cried all day yesterday. I just feel like I'm a burder to everyfuckingbody. I feel like I'm the reason Drew is depressed... I've ruined my dad and Barb's life... My sister hates me.... I'm EVERYBODY'S PROBLEM! I feel bad and guilty for having guy friends... I feel bad because Drew doesn't like it... I wish that he wouldn't feel that way. I feel really bad about that... but all of my best friends are guys... They're like my brothers. I had planned on going to the fair with Drew too... because we had the day out of school, and things got ruined... So, that sucks! I was all upset about that. I had to draw the kid that me and Jessica had in Biology... I fucking hate that class! But this was an okay project I suppose. Yesterday Drew took the day off of work, and when I called, Tracy told me he was asleep and he was talking about going to work at 6... Drew showed up here yesterday, I looked like crap. I felt grody. I'd been crying all day, and I looked horrendous! But I'm glad he did show up! I cried on his shoulder for a little bit, and then we walked up to Dodd's to get some food. Barb was in an ill mood... and then when we came back, she was being cool again... so that's good! We had to take him to DJ's last night... she gave him an extra hour to stay here, plus we went by Wal-Mart, and to Sonic... TWICE.... OMG, there were SO MANY po-po's out there last night!! Cops make me EXCESSIVELY PARANOID!!! I HATE THEM!!! They were picking at me in the car last night about being schizophrenic =(... It was really funny when Barb almost ran off of the road last night too! Ha Ha! It was like the road just disappeared. DJ let me borrow Dogma, and Drew gave me memory stick for my MP3 player... I love him so much! I feel bad he's always doing stuff for me...

I hate this kind of music, but this song is hillarious.... "Now, I'm gonna make you dance... its your chance....yeah boy, shake that ass... Oops I mean girl... girl, girl girl, you know you're my world!" My sister listens to this song non-stop... I gotta post the lyrics, they're hillarious....
 
     

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Really Bad Week =(   
02:19pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: discontent
music: Coheed and Cambria Three Evils
I've had like the worst week this week. I was really upset on Monday. Jessica wanted me to spend the night with her that night, but I couldn't. Then she wanted me to go with her to Super-Wal-Mart in Spartanburg with Betty and Frances and her and Daniel... but I couldn't. I didn't really want to spend the night with her anyway, because I knew I wouldn't get to talk to Drew. Besides Betty is so strict. I can't deal with such strictness. I ended up spending Tuesday night with her. I took DJ home, and then came back to school and got Jessica and we went to get gas, and then to her house. She was talking about how she wanted Eric to go to church with us that night... but he couldn't. OMG! The last time that he went to church with them, he said Betty was just INSANE! She wouldn't let them sit together. She made Eric ride in the back on the opposite side of the car... and threatened him and all kinds of stuff, and told him that him and his daughter WOULD NOT have a romantic relationship... and if they did when she was 16, if he did this or that, she was gonna hunt him down!! OMG! It was insane! Then she automatically assumed that he wasn't saved when she asked him if he was, and he was like, "I feel like I am, because I talked to the preacher and all..." Ugh!!! I hate it when people are like that... Anyway, we went to Jess'... she has the CUTEST little kittens in the world! They even have a black one just for me!! I want him so bad!! When we got there, Jessica got on the phone with Eric, and Betty got on there, and kinda got smart with him. Poor Eric. Poor JESSICA! We went to Wally World and got a bunch of snacks and stuff, and then went to Steve's. Then we left to go to church. It was really weird. The preacher's lesbian daughter was all over me and shit. She was cute... but GOD!!! Ugh! I went into a really bad anxiety attack when I first walked in up there... Then I broke down while I was standing outside talking to Jessica... and then EVERYBODY came out there around me... That just made it worse. The preacher wanted me to talk to him and shit... I was like "Uhm, NO!" That church is mainly just the ex-prisoners that live in that facility thing... and all of them came out there... Victoria and Jessica were all over me hugging me and stuff. Then, they made me get up infront of everybody and sing with them. I made a scene, but they drug me up there anyway... I had the worst panic attacks that night. Jessica thought she was helping me overcome something, but what she doesn't realize is that when you're like I am... it doesn't help... it only makes them worse! I was on several drugs for this stuff before! It didn't help... that's certainly not going to help! I didn't get to talk to Drew that day, and they don't understand how bad it does hurt not to talk to him, and how much I am not okay when I don't get to talk to him. I cried until like 3 in the morning. I looked chinese when I got up the next morning. We got up and left and went to get breakfast, and then came into school and stuff... I was having breakdowns at school all day... Jessi rode home with me that day. I had to take DJ home first. She was scared that I was gonna get in trouble for her coming with me, because I couldn't get in touch with my dad before that... It was okay with him. When we got home, we went to Sonic, and went to take her to see Eric. I put her in the trunk to suprise him, and then went up to him and was like, "I have a letter for you!! OMG, you gotta come check out this new bass I got!! It's so fucking awesome!!! You gotta come see it!! You gotta teach me how to play it though!! You promise you will??" He was like, "yeah, I promise!" And I took him to my car and popped the trunk and Jessi jumped out, and he like to shit his pants!! It was so funny! Me and Jessica left Jessi there with Eric, and went to Sonic, and we came back, and we had Eric a baby banana split and everything... Jessica went to hand Jessi her sundae out the door and she grabbed it wrong and it fell on the parking lot... so Eric gave us the money to get Jessi another one... Jessi got him in trouble too... the lady ran Jessi off and said she couldn't talk to him while he was up there working... so we left and went home, and we got halfway there, and realized I forgot to take the movies back! So I had to turn around! Then we came home, and I told Curt all the dudes that Amber had flirted with and everything, and really just told him all the dirt I knew on her, and how I felt like all she was using me for was to see him, and I was tired of it. Jessica told him how Amber kissed her cousin and stuff... And then my dad and Barb sent us out to get pizza... and we took the cell phone to call Drew at work on break, and for him to call us on break if he couldn't get through at home. We pushed EVERY SINGLE BUTTON ON THAT PHONE EXCEPT THE ON BUTTON!!! We're so stupid!!! We went to Exxon to get those drinks for them, and then to the pizza hut to pick up pizza, and then I took money to Eric, because he bought Jessi a sundae, and then Jessica wanted to stay and see him for a bit... so I let them see each other. I had to go take a crap in Wal-Mart... THAT SUCKED!!! I had to GO though!!! They were teasing me... It was funny though... Then I came home, Jessi had gone to church... My dad accused me of going to see Drew.... I hate being falsely accused... I told him exactly where we were. I wouldn't have been able to go down to his work place in that time limit, and besides, I wouldn't have gotten to see him, because it wasn't at his break times =(... I thought about doing it though, but I wouldn't have gotten to see him... *cries* We just chilled outside for a bit when we got home... Jessica can fart on command, that is awesome! I got to talk to Drew for 5:33 mintues that night... I was glad, it made me feel better, but it was depressing that it couldn't be longer... Jessica was all happy and stuff because she gave Eric a kiss before we left... So sweet =)....
 
     

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Simple Things That Mean SO Much...   
02:11pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: grateful
music: Tom Petty Free Falling
My dad gets ill over stupid stuff!! Like the other day, Drew came over, and had been up for 2 days straight, and he fell asleep on the sofa and my dad got ill about that! We were gonna go to Hillarity, but those suck! And he'd been awake for so long, I didn't want him to be miserable... When he woke up, we went to get chinese food... Yes, we live off of that stuff pretty much!!! Then he had to leave for work. Then Sunday he stopped by. It was our 7 month anniversary! I love him so much! In ways it seems like it was just yesterday that we met... I remember alot of our conversations just like they just happened.... but in other ways, it seems like it's been SO long... I love him with all that I am... This song "Free Falling" brings back good memories... the same as Mickey's house... He He =D... That's why I DLed this song and put it on my MP3 Player... Anyway, Drew got me the new G.C CD.... I really like it... They sound completely different... and some of the songs crack me up with the sound and everything... but I really love the lyrical content. Very meaningful.
We had SO much fun that night, we were sitting on the swing outside on the front porch of the house, and we were cuddling up and being rediculously goofy... it was so awesome! It made me think so much of how awesome it is going to be when it's just us and our kitty living together! All those cold autumn and winter nights we can sit outside, as cold as it is, still being warm, because we're cuddled up together, just talking and laughing. It felt so good to do that...
 
     

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Screw BETA Club!   
02:06pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: bitchy
music: A.P.C Lullaby
Fuck BETA club!!! They're going to Charleston this year, instead of Myrtle Beach... so... Screw them! I don't wanna be in it this year.... My grades are falling anyway... I wouldn't survive in it. I'd get kicked out soon after joining anyway. Bah! I hate school! I'd been planning on dropping out at 17 anyway.

However, it was rather comical... DJ had to dress up as Catwoman, and Jessica was Pee Wee Herman!!
 
     

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Mr. Hibbard is a bastard!   
01:57pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: bored
music: A.P.C Vanishing
I drew a really weird pic the other day. Last Thursday actually. Hibbard said something to me about my labret ring, and I had a friggin' retainer in it!!! The bastard!!! I got REALLY smart with him, right in Mrs. Eaves' office, and Chelsea, Rebecca, and Melissa were all up there too, and Amber was there too. She was laughing at me after we left there, because of how I was. I told him that I guess he was gonna have to suspend me because I'm not taking the thing out! I'm not gonna let the thing grow up, he can kiss my ass!!" I went back to class, and then I got called back up there, and I got smart with him again. He had Mrs. Eaves in the office then too. THen all of a sudden he started being really nice about everything. He said I could wear the stud without the ball on the end. I was like, "Well, I've seen bandannas that symbolize the Crypts, and you don't make them take their bandanna's off. I've seen the pants leg rolled up... which is the 5%ers.... That IS in the dresscode... Piercings aren't... He asked me, "School interferes with your lifestyle doesn't it?" I said "YES IT DOES..." And we got into a whole conversation about that... Anyway, he agreed to let me have different colored streaks in my hair as long as it didn't cause a major distraction in class and all kinds of shit. I told him the only reason they were saying anything to me about my labret ring was because my dad came up here and talked to them about Drew that day.... anyway, it's back to where Drew can come and visit... he just has to sign in... So that is good!
 
     

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Bah, I don't wanna be a cheerleader...   
01:22pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: cold
music: A.P.C Thinking of You
BETA Club Initiation was on the 15th. I was supposed to be a cheerleader. I had to go on the 13th, which was Wednesday, to get some cheerleading uniforms. I had a really bad feeling about somebody having a wreck that week for some odd reason. We had been driving home in packs. So, I took DJ home, and Jessi went home with someone else, so when I dropped DJ off, I FLEW. I was going 96, and I caught up with Whitney and Anna and them on the 4 lanes. I was going 96, and someone was right behind me on the right lane, and someone was in front of me, and I was coming up on them in my lane, and they slammed on breaks to turn left. OMG, I tried to slam on brakes, and I had to swirve over into the other lane, and almost hit that one guy, and then I caught up with Whitney and them. We always throw up devil horns out the window and yell and hoot and holler at each other going down the road, and I was doing that, and Ethan, Anna, and Erika were all hanging out the window doing it... and Whitney had her hand thrown out the window, and I almost ran into them, LMFAO! They said I scared the shit out of them, when I almost hit that one guy! When we pulled in at Anna's, Anna was telling me how she was laughing, cuz she looked up in the mirror, and saw me way back at the top of the hill, and she was like, "Oh look! It's Dia! She's wayyyy back there! You see her!? Oh wait!! She's right NEXT TO US!!!!" We dropped Anna and Ethan off, and then me and Whit took the back way home, and we came out on #9, and then we were throwing up the devil horns to each other and she was behind me, and I saw this white car coming, and I thought to myself, "God, that looks like Drew's car! But he has to work, so it CAN'T BE HIM!!!" Well, we were throwing up the horns, and then the white car gets closer and closer to us, and then I see DJ pop up out of the passenger side and throw up both his rock fists, and Drew pop out of the driver's window with a Slipknot beanie on, throwing up the devil horns too! LMAO! It was so funny, I was gonna swurve up in Johnathan Green's driveway, and turn around, but I was going so fast, so I just pulled off the road... AT LIKE 50!! Whitney pulled in right behind me and was like, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?!?!" I was like, "THAT WAS DREW!! I'M TURNING AROUND!!!!" LOL! She started cracking up and told me she'd see me later. He had turned around, and we met at Ben's Dr. So, we pulled in there and I jumped out and gave him a great big hug! I love him SO much! I was so excited, and ADD was REALLY kicking in! He told me he'd stopped by my house and asked my dad if he could stop by for a minute later on. And he told me he got fired! I was like, "WHAT!?!?!" He was JKing though. Oh yeah! Something I forgot about posting... on that Tuesday, my dad kept acting weird and shit. I asked something about Drew coming over, and he was like, "Ya'll aren't going ANYWHERE alone anymore... Ya'll's relationship is going too far, TOO FAST!" I was like, "WTF??" I was like, "What's that supposed to mean??" He was like, "I'll talk about it later..." I was like, "Okay, I don't know what we did... but whatever..." He was like, "I know what ya'll did the other night..." I was like, "What?? What did we do??" He said, "Ya'll were all over each other at 12:30 when I opened the door to tell him to go home!!" I was like, "We weren't all over each other... we were sitting indian style in the floor, facing each other, laying our heads on each others shoulder with our mouths at each other's ears, and had our arms around each other, and we were talking..." Then later on, he said he probably wasn't gonna let me see Drew ever again after what he found out. He wouldn't tell me, he said he'd talk about it when he was in the mood though... So... he never talked about it, and I'm sitting there wondering WTF is going on!!! The next morning, he pulled me into the kitchen and told me I had some explaining to do! Well, I was like, "About what???" He said, "Well, Barb needed some socks yesterday, and I went to search for some in your drawer, and I pulled out a certain pair of socks..." Well... a LONG time ago, when Barb was moving into Bridget's old house... we found some old condoms... and we kept them all, because we ran around putting them on people's intena's and mailboxes and stuff... well I still had some, so I hid them, because I know my dad would think something if he found them... WELL... HE FOUND THAT PAIR OF SOCKS!!! LMFAO! I told him, and I don't think he believed me at first, and then Jessi came out and said something... and he was like, "YOU KNEW ABOUT THEM!?!?!" She goes, "Yeah... we put them on people's intennas and mailboxes and road signs!" So... THANK GOD, he'd asked me about that before Drew pulled up, ESPECIALLY with me not here... Yeah, I don't believe that would have went over too well... lmao... I had told my dad that those were like 20 years old, and they wouldn't even work, so why would I ever use THOSE!? Anyway, Drew had to take DJ to Rock Hill, so he went on up there, and I came home. Barb and my dad had DLed the Limewire thing again, so that's awesome. But they DLed a ton of stuff I already had... I was like, "Dude, I have like all of that music!" They spent ALL day DLing it all, LMAO! Anyway, they were blaring Queen, and Eric came over. I was in the bathroom, and I just heard someone walk in the front door, and Barb and my dad were talking to them... I thought it was Drew, and I came out of the bathroom and it was Eric walking down the hall. I was like, "What the hell are you doing here???" He was like, "Betty told me to come over here..." "Why did Betty tell you to come over here?" "I don't know... she just took the phone from Jessica and told me to go to Dia's..." I was like, "Ohhhhhh KAY!" He picked up my guitar and started playing it... I forgot I had that spikey lizard in my trunk from where Jessi took it for show and tell... so I went to get it, and I showed it to Eric... and he was talking about how cool it looked, and then we let the green lizards bite his finger, and then we put it on his septum, he started cursing!! LMFAO! It was hillarious! He went to church with Jessi and her mom. She had wanted me to go, but screw that! Drew came over!!! Eric came through the house dancing and singing to Queen when he first came in. Then he was talking about how his ear was hurting, I said, "That's their bad music..." He was like, "That's not bad music! That's awesome music!!!" He's retarded! They all left, and Barb and my dad went to town, and I stayed here. Drew pulled up a little later on, with some Sonic food... He He... we're EVIL! Barb and my dad came in a bit after he got here, and then we sat here and chilled, and we felt pukey after we ate Sonic burgers... We got online, and he was reading an email from me... We were cracking up with my dad and Barb at the table and junk. Then we started listening to the Warped Tour CD from last year, because I wanted him to hear the Coheed and Cambria song. Well... it came on and some other band, I believe it was Throwdown was playing, and Barb and my dad were in their room then, and we had it on in the living room, and we were on the sofa, and Barb and him started fussing! They were like, "DANIELLE!! How about turning it to something that's not so rambunctious!" Or some big word like that... it was funny! Drew started cracking up, talking about how horrendous the band sounded... Then we turned it to Andrew W.K... Cuz I told him I had to listen to them all the way to school that morning, because Jessi was listening to the CD's... He was like, "I've never heard him..." and I let him hear "Ready To Die"... LMFAO!!! MAD POGO STICK BUNNIES!!!! That's what I see when I hear that song!!! A bunch of mad bunnies on pogo sticks!!! Pogoing! Jessi came in the house, and put a damper on everybody's mood. She kept asking Drew to buy her iguana's... the butthead. Me and Drew fell asleep on the sofa almost. Actually, I DID doze off... he had to leave soon after that... It was FREEZING outside that night! Oh! Eric laughed at me when he seen me as a cheerleader... Drew and Barb and my dad said it was cute. BAH! The skirt was so short I felt violated just wearing it! BAH!!!!!
 
     

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Catching Lizards... QUITE FUN!   
01:13pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: busy
music: A.P.C Pet
Okay, I'm really hooked on "Lullaby" by A Perfect Circle. They're awesome! Me and Drew started sounding like Jessi, we were running around catching lizards outside. We're retarded. We found a spikey one! We kept them, and put them in the aqaurium. We ended up letting them loose the other day though. Cuz when we caught them was on the 10th, and they won't eat right while you're keeping them captive. Oooh! When we caught them, we put them in a big BK cup... and there were 2 green ones in there, and they were laying with their heads together, and their tails were crossing. It looked really awesome... I wanna get a tattoo that looks like that. It was cool. I swear, Barb cut the same spot of grass like 100 times. It was like she was purposely trying to give us alone time. Which was really awesome of her. Barb can be pretty awesome sometimes! It sucked that Drew had to leave and go to work though. That's always depressing =(...

Man I want a banana split from Sonic's SOOOOOO freakin' bad!!!
 
     

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I love my Druid...   
12:57pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: mischievous
music: A.P.C Lullaby
The weekend of the 9th was cool. It started out kinda sucky. I got to see Drew, but the conditions sucked. I got up at like 7 or 8 something, and got a shower, and got ready, and he came over, and we went to the mall. Barb took us... She was looking at us in the rear view mirror and almost plowed right into the back of this truck, it was kinda funny. We stopped at a gas station on the way up there and I went to the bathroom to pee, and there were condoms on the wall in that machine thing. I started cracking up at them. I'm so mature right!? Someone knocked on the door, and I thought it was Drew, so I sat there talking to it, and I opened up the door, and it was some black girl, LOL! We went up to the mall, and we looked in Hot Topic, Spencers, and a few other stores. We were trying to find some retainers for my labret piercing. I got a few things too. My dad wouldn't let me get any black stuff, so he sucks ass. I got 2 retainers for my labret. A big baggy pair of blue jeans, that had bondage straps on them, and purple things down the side and a bunch of pockets. I got a purple fishnet shirt, and some A Nightmare Before Christmas arm warmers. I feel bad that Drew is always getting me all kinds of stuff and I can't buy him anything. He says not to worry about it, he does it because he loves me. But I want to return the same thing, I want to buy him some stuff, and I don't have any money!! =( He spends more of his check on me than he does himself. He is so sweet! I love him so much! He had been up all night that Friday night, because he was looking at rings. He was all tired and stuff when we went to the mall. We looked everywhere for some shoes to go with the pants, but nobody has purple shoes!!! All they have are pink!!! IDIOTS! Pink is like the "IT" color of the year or something!! It's nuts! Anyway, we came home, and on the way home, he was kinda depressed, he can't be himself around Barb and them... I feel like that too. I already get criticized enough as it is whenever I'm around them, keeping myself censored... so I'd never open completely up to them. He was wishing we could have spent some time just us. He had to leave for work when he got here, and then later on, Curt called me, he had been calling me for awhile, complaining about how much he loves Amber, and how she's fucking him over. That's messed up. He said that she was with Ben and Anna, and all kinds of shit, and he was depressed and about to break up with her. I don't know what to say to make people feel better. I'm quite tired of it actually. The only one that I care to help anymore is Jess and Eric. And ofcourse Drew. But Drew is my other half, so ofcourse, I'm ALWAYS going to be willing and wanting to help him in anyway possible. He is my HEART. I dropped the fucking phone into the dishwater!! LMAO! It still worked! Drew came back... I was so excited to see him! We woke Barb up and told her, and she fell back asleep and everything, and then woke up later on, after we'd sat in the kitchen for awhile talking, and was wondering why Drew was here... We told her we woke her up and told her, and plus we had a whole conversation about the phone being dropped into the water. She didn't remember any of it! My dad got home, and me and Drew went and got chinese food, and a movie. LoL "It's like a lizard!!!" HaHa! LMAO! So funny! I love my Drew!!! SO MUCH MORE THAN I COULD EVER BEGIN TO EXPLAIN! Drew stayed here for a long time that night. Then my dad woke up at about 12:35 and said he had to go. Which really sucked. I can only say one thing... WE ARE OFF OUR FUCKING ROCKERS!!! *evil grins*
 
     

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Bah!   
12:43pm 23/10/2004
 
mood: dirty
music: A Perfect Circle Judith
They had some dumbass "Walk To School" day where everybody at school had to walk around Lockhart. I didn't go. I had to stay in the art room and draw and write an essay. That's so gay! Ashley stayed with me for a night. Her mom was being real bitchy, and all kinds of shit, so that sucked. Me and her went to town and to Sonic and to take a letter to Eric and everything. We saw my cousin Blake up there at Wal-Mart and talked to him for awhile out there with Eric. Ashley was saying Blake was cute and stuff, LOL! We wenet to Wendy's and then to get some ice-creams and stuff from Sonic. We were coming home, and this bitch almost hit me... Ashley was cracking up because I'm a violent driver. She was laughing her ass off at me, cause I was all cursing at the lady and flipped her off and shit. We started cleaning out the car, and we were gonna go to church, but we ended up going back to town to rent movies and all. I felt so pukey on the way home, I was about to barf everywhere. She was telling me that I was her only true friend that she could talk to. HeH... I'm about tired of everybody else and their problems. I have enough of my own. Everybody elses seem so simple compared to the shit I live day after day. We went to pick Jessi up from church, and Anna came running and yelling "ASHHHHHLEY!!!!" and gave her a hug and stuff. I figured she was only doing that because Ashley was with me, and she was trying to get to me and shit. We rented the Bad Santa and started watching that, but we all crashed out. Homecoming was that Thursday... Hah, Cooper had to kiss a skunk. He's been excessively nice to me lately. FREaK! Pep Rallies blow goat balls...
 
     

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Jess' Powder Puff Game...   
11:46am 23/10/2004
 
mood: I GOTTA PEE!!!
music: A Perfect Circle Gravity
I finally got to drive to school on the 4th. Driving to school completely sucks. I hate getting up that early in the morning, and they MAKE me drive. So yeah, I HATE it... I hate for anybody to MAKE me do anything.

The Powder Puff game was on the 5th (Tuesday), Jessica was playing, so she wanted me and Eric to come see her play. We did, and Hibbard came over and started fussing at all of us, because Caroline and Jack were sitting together with their arms around each other and what not... He told us we had to go outside of the gate if we were gonna do that, so we went out of the gate and walked down the road to this haunted water tower. Eric was FREAKING out! It was SO hillarious!! He had ahold of my shirt the whole way up there, and all the way back... He drug me back down the hill!!! I almost fell!! It was SO funny! On the way up there, he was freaking out, and I grabbed him and kinda pushed him and was like, "OMG! WHaT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?!?!?!" And he started freaking out even more! It was hillarious! I was like, "HaHa! GOTCHA!" He was like, "YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!!!" And then I started telling him all about the seance Drew had when he lived in Lockhart... LMAO... He was like, "SEANCE!?!? Then WHAT THE HELL are we doing up here!?!?!" LMFAO! He was hauling ass coming down that hill, and he would not let go of my shirt!! LMAO! He was like, "OMG, OMG, OMG! My eyeballs are playing tricks on me!!! FUCK YOU EYEBALLS!!!" ROTFLMFAO! He hauled ass, holding on to my shirt all the way down the road, and around the curb until we got back into the light, then he was okay... He was freaking out the whole time though, it was the funniest thing ever!!! Then we started talking about how funny it'd be to sneak back up there and come out of the woods and scare the shit out of Caroline, Jack, and Whitney! LMAO! We started plotting for having a dummy up there and taking some people up there and having it fall out and stuff, and scare them... We got back to the top of the hill and we were all snorting pixie sticks and stuff... LMAO... Yeah, I can only imagine what Betty and Steve were thinking!!! I met Josh too that night. He was all drunk and shit... I saw Danielle again for the first time in forever! She has an eyebrow ring and all, Union lets them have them, but yet Lockhart and their fucked up rules won't allow my labret ring! FUCKERS! When the game was over, we went and talked to Jessi, Betty, and Steve for a little bit. Betty had the video camera out, and Eric started posing for it, and "modeling" some Diet Pepsi... what a tard! We left and came home... Eric is good! He got me there at 9 EXACTLY, so I could talk to Drew whenever he called. OMG, when we were driving to the game, someone rode by and I believe they shot a firecracker, cuz me and Eric were both like, "WTF WAS THAT!?" It sounded like they did... but I didn't see any sparks. Weird. But on the way home, I told him I left his CDs on top of the car at the school, and he almost flipped, he was about to make a U-Turn, then I started laughing at something, and he made fun of me, LMAO... He did that smart assy laugh, but it sounded real, it was SO funny, LMFAO! I was really glad that I got to talk to Drew that night...I really wanted him to go to the powder puff game with us... That would have been awesome! I want all of us to get together, and go do something for Halloween. We could hang out in a graveyard one night, other than Halloween, and all dress up in black, and have really white faces, and then sit randomly on the tombstones and stare at people when they ride by... LMAO... it'd be so funny if someone ran off the road!!!
 
     

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White Chicks, AGAIN!   
11:17am 23/10/2004
 
mood: full
music: Coheed and Cambria Three Evils
We went to see "White Chicks" again that Sunday. That movie is SO hillarious! Drew came over, "to get the clothes' and we talked my dad into letting us go to Rock Hill... We went to the movies to see that, and then left halfway through, then went to Lori's to get a little extra cash because the bank wasn't open on Sundays. She wasn't there... SO, we went to McDonald's and payed in like $14 of nickels and dimes and Mc Donald's bucks... LOL! We spent like 10 minutes counting it all out. Amber was on the phone the WHOLE way up there, and back! Ugh! We went to Mickey's to pick up DJ...and then took DJ home... Then on the way home, we had to stop and get gas. DJ is hillarious! Mickey's brought back a whole lot of good memories!!! On the way home, DJ was like, "Ahh, my legs are cramping!" So he opens the door and sticks his legs out... he was cracking us up all the way home! He's so funny! He's awesome... He was sticking his head out the window, saying he couldn't keep it in the backseat, because his head was so big and junk! LMAO! You'd just have to be there... On the way home, after we dropped DJ off... I had a break down, and cried on Drew's shoulder almost all the way home. I HATE being like I am. It completely sucks. We made it home about 30 minutes late, and I got fussed at for that, and "grounded"... which really sucked... I started crying when Drew left too. He had to take Amber home that night... and I got really jealous of her being able to stay with him and I couldn't. And I REALLY needed to talk to him, and he took her to see Curt, and I never heard from him that night... I was really upset. And the next day at school, the first thing Amber said to me when she came up to me was, "We went JOYRIDING last night!!" That hurt my feelings so bad =(..
 
     

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My dad gets on my nerves...   
10:55am 23/10/2004
 
mood: hungry
music: Live Dolphin's Cry
That Saturday (2nd), Drew stopped by, to give me like $150 worth of clothes. That was SO sweet of him to get me them, and they were completely AWESOME! Barb wasn't here when he stopped by, but my dad ended up letting him stay for awhile... then he left to go get us some chinese food, and Barb pulled up. Right before that, Jessi told my dad that Amber was smoking and all kinds of shit, and got us in trouble. Grr!! Barb and Jessi started painting the living room. Me and Amber are so fucking bi. We just layed all over each other and shit, randomly... It was kinda funny... I was like "We're so bi, look at us!! This is insane!" Drew came back, and me and Amber were under the covers cuddled up, and acted like we were asleep, LOL... He came in and crawled in there with us... and I was in the middle and Jessi came back there, and she told my dad that we were under the covers together, and got us in trouble and shit... then came back in there and told my dad that Drew was still on the bed. That's so freakin' retarded!!! Drew had to leave later on, and we went to Wal-Mart to get some pics developed. They saw Curt's aunt in Wal-Mart.... My dad know's her... and Curt told my dad that's who he lived with and everything, and that it was his aunt... But he knows her, and she said she'd just talked to him a few days before... =O That was really a close one!!! LOL Anyway, he talked to her, and she agreed to go along with whatever my dad said so nobody would get in trouble or anything... I really looked like shit that day, I didn't feel good or anything, so I sat in the car... Then Eric came out to the car cuz I didn't go in. Eh! The whole time we were driving around up town, Amber was on the cell phone. She said she was trying to find a place to stay, because my dad told her that she couldn't stay here that Saturday night, because they had plans already and her mom shouldn't have expected her to stay the whole weekend without OK'ing it with them first and stuff. She stayed on there when we got home... Got on our house phone when the battery died and then I kicked her off the phone, and kept it beside me on the trampoline so Drew could call. I fell asleep out there, and I woke back up, and she was STILL on there. Then Eric called me, and asked if him, Ben, and Millsaps could come over. I told him not Tim. But Ben and Eric, yeah. Later on that night, my dad got home, and told me I had to take the clothes back, because they were black!! He's so stupid!! I've dressed in black for years and years, and now all of a sudden it becomes some sort of problem! Ugh! He believes I'm a Satanist. Satanists don't even worship Satan anyway!! Whatever! He pisses me off. He's constantly telling me how I'm getting "too skinny"... "too white"... "TOO UGLY!!" I'm so sick of the criticisms! He was criticizing me while I was on the phone with Eric, and Eric got pretty pissed about it... Eric came over for a minute to get that letter from Jessica. He didn't stay long. Then about 20 minutes after he left, Ben came over. My dad did this joke thing, where you gotta stab his hand before he wipes the water up between your legs when you're sitting on the floor... But the thing is, he has this towel, he acts like he's gonna dry it up with that, and when he goes to do it, you gotta stab at his hand... well... he doesn't dry it up with the towel, he grabs your legs and pulls your butt through it, and gets your butt all wet... But hey! The water's dry! Anyway, he pulled Ben through that!! Right before that he kept giving Ben brain teasers and all kinds of stuff... LOL It was funny. After he pulled Ben through the water, we all went back in the bedroom, and were playing with glow in the dark paint, and we were listening to techno music... Amber was being all flirty with Ben. Jessi had glow in the dark face paint on, and she turned the light out, and it looked REALLY freaky! Ben screamed like a woman!! Me and him both screamed when she jumped down from the top bunk, it just looks freaky! Then we all got into the body paint, and it looked like body parts were flying all around the room, lol. Jessi was all up in Ben's face... I believe she was trying to make out with him or something it was so close!!! We painted Ben's face, and then I had to run him off at almost 1, because he wouldn't leave, and Drew was really ill with my dad about him not being able to come over that late usually, but BEN or ERIC could! Which, personally I believe that is really fucked up. Drew should be the one able to stay, because he is my BOYFRIEND! That really pisses me off! Anyway, Ben forgot about the glow in the dark face paint on his face... and we were cracking up about Ben driving down the road and his face glowing, LOL! Ben just signed in, and started IMing me while I was talking about him. LoL... My omnipresence...Oh yes... Oh wait.... I asked Drew "What if we had frog legs?" THAT night... not Friday night... My days are confused... I sowwy! Amber got back on the phone as soon as Ben left. I got really ill about that... She talked all night while I was sleeping too.
 
     

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October 1st...   
10:34am 23/10/2004
 
mood: hungry
music: Dry Cell Body Crumbles
Bridget's B-Day was on the 1st. I didn't get to talk to her, which sucks. I miss her alot =(. It's been quite a hot minute since I saw her and actually got to spend some quality time with her. I hope she had a good birthday...

Amber stayed with me the weekend of the 1st... That Friday, we got online, and Anna was on there, and we got into it. Then later on that evening...Curt came over.... I ended up lying to my dad and telling him that his name was Ryan, so it wouldn't get back to Amber's mom that she was seeing CURT! Actually it wasn't a lie, Ryan is his middle name.... But Stevenson isn't his last name...There was a big misunderstanding between me and Barb... Me and Amber were at the computer talking to people, and we asked her if it was still okay if Curt came over later on that evening... I actually called him Curt then... but at the last minute we decided to steer cleer of the whole name thing... just so it wouldn't get back to her mom. Anyway, we asked Barb if he could come over... and then asked her about Ben and Eric...Then I said, "other people" She said, "Yeah, I guess so..." I said, "How many people will you let come over here at once?? Can everybody come? Like 20 people?" She was like, "No, not that many... ya'll would get too rowdy!" I was like, "What if we're quiet... Okay, so then, HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN COME OVER HERE AT ONCE???" She said, "8." So we got online and started calling people to come over, LOL. I was on the phone with Ben, and he said something that I found funny, and I wasn't thinking, and repeated it (WITH THE STUDDER!) to Amber... I felt bad after I did that. I just didn't bring it up after that... maybe he didn't notice. Tim was over there at Ben's... Tim can be an asshole... I've been being an asshole to him too... heh...Ever since the movies the other week!!! When my dad got home, he was flipping, because Curt was here, and he'd never met him before, and he didn't want everybody here when he just got home... so we had to call everybody and tell them NOT to come... SuXoR! So yeah... My dad brought Curt in his bedroom and gave him the whole background check shit... The last time that happened was with Drew, and that was REALLY bad! I went through alot to get him over here for Amber... When he left, she stayed on the phone with him all night except for the times that I kicked her off to talk to Drew. That kind of bothered me. When I kicked her off of the house phone, she got on her cell phone. I mean, I don't do that shit... I talked to Drew on the phone for probably 20 minutes the whole weekend that I stayed with her... and online whenever she was asleep or on the phone with Curt. I personally think that's pretty rude. I started playing that Alice game... it's pretty cool actually... I remember being delerious on the phone that night, and I asked Drew, "What if we had frog legs???" LOL! We were laying in the bed, and we had our blacklight on at the top of my bed, and me and Amber looked pink, and my nails were glowing when I turned it off... but when you turn on the regular light, you can't see the glow-in-the-dark paint, because my nails are painted black, and the glowing paint is over top of it, and it doesn't show up until the lights go out. Amber was freaking out... "HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?!?!?!" LMAO!! It was pretty funny!

Okay, these journal entries get forever long, so I'm gonna start breaking them up, day by day, unless I'm not gonna write a whole lot about each day...
 
     

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Morphing Is... freaky...   
02:01am 17/10/2004
 
mood: blah
music: Maroon 5 This Love
It sucked going back to school on the 30th... Amber came home with me though... she kept bugging me about spending the night, and I don't wanna spend the night with her... Plus my dad said "no!"... Eric had to come over anyway... it was so fucking weird... because I was laying on my bed, talking on the phone with Curt, then, Eric called me... and told me he was gonna eat, and be over... Well, I called Curt back, and then Drew beeped in, so I was on the phone with Drew and Eric just walks up in my bedroom door, without knocking or anything, and I thought it was my dad at first, I mean, when he opened it, I swear I saw my dad, and it morphed into Eric!! It was SO weird!!! Eric is so retarded! He was playing with these little wall lights, he had them up to his titties rubbing them and dancing, he is so stupid!!! LMFAO! Drew got off of work early that night, and he got to come over!! YAY!!! It was cool that he got to do that!!! I was so glad to see him!!! Like I say every single time... I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!
 
     

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Got my license!!   
01:49am 17/10/2004
 
mood: busy
music: Papa Roach Getting Away With Murder
I finally got my license on the 29th!! I took it in my stick shift... I was so nervous... I JUST KNEW I was gonna fail!! That day was pretty good for the most part, in a way it was kinda sucky. We got to stay out of school... my dad woke us up late, and he just let us chill at home, and my Druid got to come over until he had to leave for work, so that was good!!! I love him SO much!!! I took some pics of me on that day... I think they're okay I suppose... I might post them later... I was so close to stomping Anna's ass at church that night. My dad and Barb kicked us out of the house that evening, and made us go to church. When I got my license, we met Barb and Jess at Fred's... and me and Jess went to see Eric so I could get that letter for Jessica from him... I told him about that guy that thought we were Satan Worshippers, he was laughing, and he told me about the time him and Baxley were walking around the mall, and Baxley looked normal, and the woman pulled him off to the side, and told him if he quoted a bible scripture, she'd give him a free ice-cream... so he quoted her a few of them, and she gave him an ice-cream, but as he was walking away, he turned back and was like, "Oh, by the way, I'm a Satanist!" LMAO!!!! That's hillarious! When we went to church that night, Anna grabbed my license and threw them on the pavement and stomped them because she was jealous I got mine before she got hers! If I hadn't been at church I would SO have stomped her friggin' ass on the ground!!! Church wasn't the place though... After the class, me and Michael went out on the swings and talked about how much Anna sucked, and about Jess and Eric, and Whitney, and me and Drew, and school and stuff, and Michael and his g/f.... Me and Michael haven't talked in forever... I don't really want to... Not after how Drew feels about him, and how he was being for awhile... I just felt like talking about how much Anna SuXoRs to someone at that time, before I flipped on her, and he was around... so that was good!
 
     

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