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Blurty for Kitty.
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| Monday, May 3rd, 2004 |
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| bla, I'm so bored. hee hee.. I want to say something, but I don't know who is reading this, GAH! Die! I just can't be left alone for a bit can I? Huh? I want to go out and meet new people. I miss Orion. Arian said he might come visit again. I just wish I knew exactly what he thought of me... It's hard. To be obsessed yet hate the obsession. Whatever, guess I will forever be obsessed until I find someone better. It's just how it goes right? I need some drugs, they would be nice right now. to have what I desire, would be nothing but pure emotion. Yet to never get it hurts. | ||||
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| Sunday, May 2nd, 2004 |
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| sweet 16 comin up! I'm going to get crunked with my mom and dad. plus I get to go shopping...I cant wait. I'm hoping to get a car this summer.I wish I had some drugs right now. I'd be so fuckin happy, just some bars... mmm mmm good. Pop them pills... I just smoked a blunt with Pat,Robin,Mandy, and Heather. Though Pat and Robin were on bars, speaking of which I wish I had some. ::cries:: It's just no fun. I broke up with Jeremy but we are still hanging by a thread. It's real bad, I don't know what to do. It's too hard. Whatever. I can't wait till summer, hopefully with a car and if not I can still take my moms out. I can go anywhere I want and meet people. YAY... Right now I think I'm just going to go have a cigarette and then have fun and go to sleep. There is nothing better to do, no more drugs. Of course not... ::sigh:: I hate being poor. QUEER. I need some music, fuck this shit. I'm out... | ||||
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| Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004 |
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 What Anime Bad Girl Are You? |
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| Monday, March 1st, 2004 |
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| I can't go to sleep, I'm not tired at all. What is my crack headed mom thinking. Just because I'm supposed to be in bed, doesn't mean I'm tired! I drank tons of coffee and was just outside running around with Knealey and Eddy. We destroyed knealeys care bear. Eddy wore my dress and I made him walk to Walgreens in it. T' was amazing. I took pictures of him too. I will have to scan them and post them in here. I'm supposed to go out tonight with Daniel, but he isn't answering his cell phone. Fuckin queer... I wish that I had some drugs, then I could just pass out. I want to go and take pictures with my camera, my camera. Yum. Sorry, I'm just really fuckin bored... EAT ME! | ||||
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| Saturday, February 28th, 2004 |
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| I'm sitting here having my ciggy... I was outside but it's cold and windy so I had on black overalls my army jacket , homer slippers, and since I couldn't find a beanie... I wore my black and red Santa hat rolled down so the fuzzy black stuff kept me warm. I'm high as fuck! I also just about 10 minutes ago painted my nails red and white so its kind pink and I fucked them up like idk I cant explain but they look cool. I can't wait to see them sober. I smoked REALLY REALLY good krip. And, in the process used cherry vanilla melted milkshake from earlier to stop the burning... he he. Too lazy to go downstairs. I had Jeremy today... mmhhmm. It was perfect. Say no more mon?mour... idk how to spell it.. it's French. Shoot me plus, I'm high. I gauged[sp?] my ears more too, yay! It hurts! ::grin:: I miss Jeremy... bleh. I guess I'm going to bed... | ||||
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| Wednesday, February 25th, 2004 |
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| ::purrs:: I had the boy today all to myself. Nice soft warm skin mmmhhhm! All mine, die anyone else who says different. Take him away, and pay. All innocence is gone... Now it's just love and naughty thoughts. More love is gained each and every day. I look into his eyes and know it. It's there, and let it not leave, ever. His eyes are mine and mine only. | ||||||
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| Monday, February 16th, 2004 |
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| Our kisses echo in the dead silence of the night. All that can be heard are the crickets, and the sweet sound of your breath. The wind blows through the trees. I look into your eyes. | ||||
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| Wednesday, February 11th, 2004 |
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| life is a living hell. when all you want is to sit and smoke and cig, but the left half of your neck is inflated with sickness and everyone wants you to quit. So you hold yourself back, you think : yeah maybe they are right. I should quit : to hell with the world! let it kiss your ass... you're living a nightmare and they deny you a cig? how dare the world. How dare they make you more miserable than you already are. Just to make it harder, you can't smoke! So just lay there in your self-despair and want to die. Review life and realize it blows. That it is pointless, realize you are here for no reason, nothing is keeping you here but being alive. And you want death to come over you. Then picture that one person. Want to hold them, think about it until it hurts. Then think about that other person and want to punch them. Then cry, cry because you cant hold that one person. then give up. | ||||||
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| Sunday, January 18th, 2004 |
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| vroom vroom in daddy's car... he he ::evil smile:: My dads dad, my grandpa, poppie, died. So my dad went to California to bury him and he was gone all week. Plus, my mom worked till 9 on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. So Wednesday I had the boy over. ::smiles:: he took it, that's it. It's gone, long gone! lol... no big deal. Basically I just smoked out all week. And Saturday I found my dads keys... went and picked Jesse up and got cigarettes. They sold them to me too. Fun fun! I'm gonna get a new bra today.. lmao, like anyone wanted to know that? w.e I'm just bored... | ||||
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| Monday, January 12th, 2004 |
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| I look at you and all of the feelings rush through me. And I think to myself... do you feel it too? When you look at me...Does it rush though you... Can you almost not stand the sight because it twists at your insides too much? Does it hurt? Does it feel nice? Do you wonder? When alone do you make your stomach flutter at a thought? Do you think about soft flesh, smells and it tickles your senses? It does it to me, everyday, just at a thought...and it lingers till I fulfill and I find my way to you...and I get my soft flesh...warmth. Beautiful tummy butterflies, they float inside me whenever I'm around you. I have to contain myself. You can be as close as possible yet still be to far away! Move closer, closer, not close enough. Never close enough. Can you be? Stay here forever, never go. If the butterflies ever settle then I think I will die. They have become a part of me, they seem so familiar. | ||||
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| Saturday, January 10th, 2004 |
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| well, idk what's going to happen to night. I didn't get Patrick and Mandy to come talk to my mom... I forgot to call Patrick, I was stoned all night. And I'm trying to get Andrew to come over. He has weed, but I don't think he will come. He sucks... I'd love a wake and bake right now! Oh yea, and I had fun with Jeremy yesterday at his house. It was nice, he mom did get all kind of you know... what are you doing in there? but it was cool she didn't make us get up or anything... I'm so bored! I need to shower and stuff... I just woke up a little while ago, so maybe I will call nick. | ||||
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| Thursday, January 8th, 2004 |
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| Patrick has invited me, Mandy, and Cary to sleep over with him at this house that he has to watch while someone is gone or some crap. And I asked if Jeremy could come... mm mm... Patrick didn't mind and neither did Mandy , so I hope that when Patrick asks her that I will be allowed... yummy. Patrick and Mandy are both going to come by tomorrow to mention it to my mom, and to beg and plead. lol... wish me luck! I will have to pack a special bag if Jeremy gets to come. With fun things to play with, lol... he he he. ::grins:: yumwa... I wish I had my Jeremy right now damn it... right now! grr.. maybe I will go call Dan... he wanted to talk to me, so I will surprise him. All right, well ... far well | ||||||
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I love you forever yet to come love blossoms depression blooms you cry I die I'm here to wipe those tears from your eyes you fill my heart with joy and I will always be your love toy I miss you every day too much for you to realize can't take rhose seconds apart your love, your warmth traped in my heart lets stay together as long as love will allow |
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Things are ok. I've got the boy and everything seems nice... ::knock on wood:: Does that mean everything is gonna go bad? ::wide eyed:: I sure hope not... I like being happy, and I'm sick of all the drama. It will be ok though... I'm going to buy kitty ears for me, and a collar and a leash for him, and he says he wants to pick up some bondage too... ::grin:: My stomache flutters at the thought. ::closes her eyes and is devoured into the thoughts... oh my god. ---♥Rag_Doll♥
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Blurty for Kitty.
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