eLySe pOLiCe <33's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] eLySe pOLiCe <33 [ website | LiVe jOuRnaL <33 ] [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

new journal! [04 Jan 2004|12:48am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | a line of the nite ~ a sense of belonging ] i got a livejournal ... uhm... http://www.livejournal.com/users/aim4my_heart_ check it out suckaz elyse <33

[01 Jan 2004|01:10pm] its hard to grow up in a society where you will never be the pretty girl where everyone else seems to have everything you dont and your dreams are always one cloud away.. elyse <33

with my bags packed and ready to go nothings ever hurt so much for me than to let u go [01 Jan 2004|12:42pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | I Miss you <3 blink 182 ] "I Miss You" Hello there, the angel from my nightmare The shadow in the background of the morgue The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley We can live like Jack and Sally if we want Where you can always find me We'll have Halloween on Christmas And in the night we'll wish this never ends We'll wish this never ends (I miss you I miss you) (I miss you I miss you) Where are you and I'm so sorry I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always This sick strange darkness Comes creeping on so haunting every time And as I stared I counted Webs from all the spiders Catching things and eating their insides Like indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason Will you come home and stop this pain tonight Stop this pain tonight Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (miss you miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (miss you miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you miss you) oh yehhAppY nEw yEaR elyse <33

sOmetimes yOu gOtta smile and walk away .. hOld yOur tears in and pretend yOur Okay .. [31 Dec 2003|12:00pm] [ mood | thirsty ] [ music | Remembr to Breath<3Dashboard Confessional ] hey guess wut today is? new years eve! haha retart over here jus figured that out =) haha so neway hmmm monday i did .. nothing... n then monday nite i went to the movies wit dana danielle justin shane chris ryan n drew.. we saw lord of the rings n it was the worstest most boringestest movie that i eveer saw in my fucken life =) haha omg like it was soo funny cuz like everyone was goofin off.. ppl musta been so pissed off it was hilarious newayz.... lol yesterday i like woke up n took a shower n talked to christina n all n then i went to take a nap.. n then i heard the doorbell like being rung like someone was dien hahah so i was like wtf who is it n it was christina n aaron n christina was like wannanananan go to randazzos?! lol i was like im sleepin.... so she looks at me with this blank stare and goes WANNA GO ?! =) hahaha made me laugh n so i got ready rly quick n we walked there n all .. then we came home to christinas n chilllled n then aaron left n me n christina layed around b/c we didn feel good n we went to the mall looken shitty =) *this is the i dun give a shit how i look look and if you have a problem with it well then say it to my ass because i don't care!* haha christina lol we went to the mall n actually shopped.. lol that like nvr happens.. so we like waited for my dad to come n it took forever n then we left lol dropped christina off n came home went online n then brent called so i talked to him for a few minutes n thennnnnnnnnn i layed in bed b/c i was rly hyper n i wasn't allowed bac online.. thats my wonderful dayy lol tonite im goen to danielles sis house.. thatll b funnnnnn lol so ill update tomorrow or sumin . peace .. happy new year everyone =) hopefully this one will b soo much better n all eLYse 1 | elyse <33

[30 Dec 2003|04:38pm] theres no1 else who can make me feel like u do.. its like my whole world stops and my eyes concentrate on you..my stomach gets tite and my knees get weak .. i try 2 make words come out.. but i just cant speak ...i hate how you have the ability to make my problems and fix them at the same time .. and i hate how you make me fall for you .. with the intention to never catch me elyse <33

gO! [29 Dec 2003|06:53pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | Head on Collision <3 NFG ] jan 10 county house village center 1901 county house village sewell, nj 08080 6PM $5 broken values unfair advantage missing tomorrow comfy couch days like these 3 | elyse <33

.. as the music mends my broken heart [29 Dec 2003|05:43pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | come back <3 the early november ] Looking in your eyes Praising every moment because you're my only light Reading the stares at your passion that bears me now Shedding no little tears The silence scares us more than leaving could [Chorus:] Come back Please don't leave me now I'll be all that you need in life Because I can't live without you and I know all that you need I can give you everything When you're so far you'll forget about me Waiting by your side Knowing every moment is closer to your flight Upset with the past, but it's all that holds us now Believing no lies, telling each other we'll be fine forever [Chorus] But I'll wait I could never leave those beautiful eyes I know you're sorry I know what you must be going through And I feel sorry for you But please don't leave me now [x3] im bored. 2 | elyse <33

until the day i die .. ill spill my heart for you [28 Dec 2003|10:54pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | until the day i die <3 story of the year ] soo lemme see wut i did since the last time i updated.. lol went to christinas n then chilled there.. aaron was over then he lefft n we chilledddddd n at like 7 i came home at n got changeed n went to danas n ed shane chris were suppsoed to come over so i went over at like almost 8 n then they came over at like 8:30 n justin was wit them n we chilled at my house. of course the most boringest place in the world.. but then justin of course had to leave .. again like last nite.. so they all left n me dane dani n tina went for a walk round the block n then i came home b/c i hadda n like yeh ive jus been here chillen thinking about a lot... ugh [ i a m s o l o s t ] but i guess thats it for nowww Until the day I die I'll spill my heart for you, for you Until the day I die I'll spill my heart for you As years go by I race the clock with you But if you died right now You know that I'd die to I'd die too You remind me of the times When I knew who I was (I was) But still the second hand will catch us Like it always does We'll make the same mistakes I'll take the fall for you I hope you need this now Cause I know I still do Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Should I bite my tongue? Until blood soaks my shirt We'll never fall apart Tell me why this hurts so much My hands are at your throat And I think I hate you But still we'll say, "remember when" Just like we always do Just like we always do Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Yeah I'd spill my heart!!! Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!! My hands are at your throat And I think I hate you We made the same mistakes Mistakes like friends do My hands are at your throat And I think I hate you We made the same mistakes Made the same mistakes Until the day I die I'll spill my heart for you, for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you, for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) I'll spill my heart for you Until the day I die (Until the day I die) Until the day I die!!! elyse <33

for all of this .. im better of with out you [28 Dec 2003|01:21pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | the early novmeber <3 i want to hear u sad ] hey theree everyone.. heh j/k theres so much shit goen on.. wow i hate it.. im so confused in life now.. it sux... i missed bein at carolyn and katies not haven to worry about nething.. but i missed my friends somewhat.. lol ne ways... letss see.. on friday i like went to bed at 2 in the mornin n i was up by 7 got ready n my mom dropped my off at carolyn and katies house! woop! <3 haha carolyn was up n it was cool being over there.. we played darts , catch phrase, cranium, n tought ourselves the guitar n chilled.. thats basically all we did all day.. n we took many piktures.. if u wanna see em ask me n ill do sumthin about it.. lol i have it on a site n all but im tryin to get the code from katie so i can put them in here bitch... thats rite.. hahah woah ok!.. so neway i went upstairs at their house like 2 n then went to bed n woke up at 10 took a shower n my mom came n we down to the shore to elizabeth arden red door salon :O heh it was cool i guess.. my mom was being prty gay but i jus ignored it.. i got my manicure n it felt good haha.. then i took another shower b/c we went in the jacuzzi n sauna n the steam room.. got ready n went to my grandparents.. lol i love them they r like the coolest ppl in the world.. were were there for like an hour or so.. n my aunt shirley was there too so we left came home went to danas n then we came over here n ed, justin, n bill came over n they wanted to watch the eagles .. so we went inside n did that.. it was fun i guess lol justin is the funniest kid u'll ever meet.. so they left b/c justin wanted to go to sum grls house.. so me dane christina n dani went bac to danas.. god so much shit started right there .. but neway at 11 i walked dani home hahaha n then came online n the shit continued.. i can't handle it.. lol its all gay guy shit.. im jus so lost in the world.. i jus sit here n like zone out n its pretty sucky.. so i dunno wut to do nemore.. but i hope to go shoppin today b/c i was promised by my mom.. but christina jus called n wants me to go over.. so i dunno wen im goen shoppen now.. damn it.. o well im gunna go get ready so peace yallll eLYse vv took this quizzy from katie vv Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes *Who is the perfect Emo Singer boyfriend for You?* brought to you by Quizilla elyse <33

come back .. please don't leave me now [26 Dec 2003|12:11am] [ mood | thankful ] [ music | cOme bac <3 the early november ] so christmas is officialy over in.. 7 minutes.. lol so this morning.. wow i was rly pissed off.. i guess i shoulda sat down n loooked over the situation b4 i sed all that shit b/c it was wrong i guess.. i got a walkman that was in the car.. n another candle.. n my dad got me more perfume.. so i have 3 diff kinds now.. but after i talked to my mom dana came over n then i went to her house.. n i came home.. took a shower .. saw dani dana n tina were over my house !! =O lol nice suprise.. so i threw on sum sweat pants n a tee n went to danas to exchange polyanna gifts.. i got a pretty white hat from christina! haha i love it.. wow if u wanna see it i have a pic so im me n ill show u it! haha :-D .. n neway lol on the way home i heard all these sirens.. some ones house was on fire.. in my neighborhood. it was sucha shame.. it was the mom dad n two little kids.. they lucky got out safely but it sucks so much n their house is really bad :-/ i feel like shit b/c i sit here pissed off b/c my parents n then i was totally mad so i hated my gifts.. n these fucken ppl lost their house.. like omg .. i felt rly guilty but by now i kinda blocked out the nite b4 so it was ok.. but neway i got dressed n exchanged gifts wit my dad.. thats wen i got the perfume n i finished my hair n crap n came online n talked to ppl.. then we left n saw the housse again :'( it was horrible.. got to my aunts n my lil cousin was like dyin to give me my gift.. lol she like threw them undermy arms b/c my hands were full. i got a camera!! :) wow i love it so much.. so the day wit the family was nice.. i enjoy it like everytime.. jus being with them n laughin n all n forgettin my problems.. its nice.. played with the kiddies toys n chilled.. then ate .. made plans tomorrow*or today or w/e* with carolyn n kt ... then went home... came home went online n then went to see christina for a lil bit n then went to danas for few minutes.. came home n went online n talked again.. i already used up one roll of film :-P heh .. so christmas wasn't as bad.. prolly b/c i stayed as far away from my family as possible.. only like the family i dun live with.. i relized everything i sed b4 was totally harsh n wrong n all.. so plz disregard :-p heh.. lolol christina sed im funny wen im mad.. b/c ijus curse like woah lol i started to laugh b/c its tru.. so tomorrow im goen wit my mom in the morning to carolyn n katies n im stayen over :) that should b fun.. CAROLYN WE R GUNNA DO FACIALS!!! haha im sucha loser.. thanks vry much.. n then saturday supposed to b goen to the spa wit my mom.. OH FRIGGIN JOY CAN'T WAIT!! A DAY WITH MY MOM DOEN NOTHINGGG ITS MY DREAM!! :-/ im rly mean.. oh yeh i got 4 tickets to see mosters inc on ice.. who wants to come .. heh.. butt ill update prolly saturday or sunday some time.. so until then. have a nice weekend everybody =) n hope yall had a merry christmas eLYse <3 him 1 | elyse <33

ehh thought about it.. [25 Dec 2003|11:56am] [ mood | grateful ] [ music | bleds no more <3 silverstein ] ok so lets see.. that last entry was like 7 hours ago..n things have changed.. i guess i was still heated from last night n diasppointed by my gifts.. well i remmebered thats not the tru meanin of christmas.. i was jus so upset last bout my family n all.. so i went bac to sleep for about 4 hours n woke up at 10.. came down n my mom woke up after me.. n we had a talk bout last nite n my gifts.. i was explainin to her how i did so much work n all n she was still yelling at me.. n she realized wut she did wrong n apoligized n then explained bout my gifts.. shes gunna take me shoppin for clothes n im gettin a gift certificate in the mail for a cds or something... n saturday she was talken about goen to the spa wit her n i sed no b/c there was a show n i told her it was cancelled so now im goen with her on saturday to get my nails done i think.. so im kinda tryin to get over last night... neway im gunna go ill update later tonite .. i think someones house is on fire.. man ill update bout that later :-\ elyse <33

merry FUCKEN christmas .... [*eve*] [25 Dec 2003|06:01am] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | Sunday drive. the early november ] wow.. i really hate christmas.. i think oh all this bullshit will go away n maybe christmas day will b better wen i get my gifts.. fuck no... i asked for like 3 things n i didn't get neof them.. i got 7 sucky things.. n i didn't want neof them n im not gunna use neof them.. n OH YEH my presents weren't even fucken wrapped.. like goddd ...... i need clothes soooo bad n like .. were jus gunna b fucken gay n not get elyse ne.. wtf is this... i asked for a plain silver chain for this pendent my aunt n uncle n cuzins gave me for easter.. but could i get that.. no of course not.. my mom always assumes she nos wut i want.. she doesnt.. she gets a necklace wit sumthing on it.. n regular earrings.. SINCE WEN THE FUCK DO I WEAR REGULAR EARRINGS?!?! god damnit i fucken don't :'( its not even about the gifts.. i prolly wouldn't b so concedied n ungrateful.. but like my family fought everysingle day.. n christmas eve was jus plain out horrible.. n it put me in a bad mood... i was called selfish, inconsiderate.. n all these other things i rly dun want to put in here.. but its soo fucken funny how i did the most in the house.. but yet my one bro could put one thing out n got bac to gettin ready *he was gettin ready for like 3 hours.. wtf does he hafta do* and my mom didn't yell at him b/c he did something.. this is by far the worst christmas.. god i wanna go bac to school.. i hate my family.. they hate me too.. they are so mean to me n sit here n call me names n shit n i can't take it.. but the christmas eve party was ok.. i was in a bad mood b/c the fucken family n my grandma yelled at me b/c my mom hadda have the fucken big mouth n say shit to my grandma... god i wish she new wut went on... but carolyn n kt n my cousins came over.. that put me outta my bad mood for a while.. but wen they left my mom n dad started fucken arugin again.. like omg i jus sat here n cried n all my presents were like sittin rite next to me.. i wanted to sleep n jus not get up today but i jus like got up.. ugh this sucks.. i rly dislike christmas now.. a lot.. i think all this fightin will die down n everyone will b happy.. but can it.. no of course not.. everyone jus hasta fight.. its all my mom.. she thinks she the perfect person in the world wen shes the most unperfect bitch.. n i think one of my parents is gunna leave.. n seriously i wouldn't mind b/c i can't stand this fighting.. asdf;,gnajlkfgn i can't fucken stop crying.. :'( .. n to neone that was goen to the show on the 27th.. of course it gets cancelled.. it was like so nice to find out at this time.. i was really like relayin on that night to have like fun n shit...... FUCKEN HATE MY LIFEEEEEEEE .. wen my mom sed christmas was gunna b different this yr.. i figured out how.. it was gunna b horrible n it was.. i love it how everyones gunna go bac to school wearin thier new clothes.. NOPE not mEE im goen bac wearin the same fucken shit as b4.. n my clothes r soo shitty n like yeah i barely have enough to get thru the week.. im not sure if my mom understands that or no? i guess not.. obviously not.. wtf m i talken about .. i can only have certain kinda cookies.. i ask for peanut butter not chocolate.. the fucken dipshit gets chococlate .. omgg someone kill me now so i don't have to go on with this horrible day.. god im goen to my aunts n sleepin. im not dealin with this.. my moms gunna wake up today n act like nothings wrong.. fuck no i will bitch to her n i will prolly get told im ungrateful n don't deserve nething i got... well rly i dun care take it all away.. soo if i care b/c its gunna sit in my room neway :'( everything is jus startin to get soo hilarious at how horrible everything is.. god.. christina.. it jus cracks me uppp OH MAN IT JUS CRACKS ME UPP... haha wow my mom buys a sports bra wen i told her a few weeks ago I DON"T WEAR SPORTS BRASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.. n she goes oh u dont? omg u fucken douche bag.. omg omg omg omg omg i hate it i hate it i hate it i can't stop crying.. Merry Fucken Christmas to everyone n i hope ur christmas wasn't as horrible as mine.. <\3 all i want is for sumone to like me .. but nope that can't happen either b/c im ugly n all .. yeh thats rite.. im ugly <\3 .. goodbye .. i have so much more to say but if i say it i will like get rly upset n maybe sum other ppl too so lets no get started.. The stars will cry The blackest tears tonight And this is the moment that I live for I can smell the ocean air And here I am Pouring my heart onto these rooftops Just a ghost to the world That's exactly Exactly what I need From up here the city lights burn Like a thousand miles of fire And I'm here to sing this anthem Of our dying day For a second I wish the tide Would swallow every inch of this city As you gasp for air tonight I'd scream this song right in your face If you were here I swear I won't miss a beat Cause I never Never have before From up here the city lights burn Like a thousand miles of fire And I'm here to sing this anthem Of our dying day Of our dying day Of our dying day Of our dying!!! For a second I wish the tide Would swallow every inch of this city And you gasp for air tonight!! From up here the city lights burn Like a thousand miles of fire And I'm here to sing this anthem Of our dying day From up here the city lights burn Like a thousand miles of fire And I'm here to sing this anthem Of our dying day From up here the city lights burn Like a thousand miles of fire And I'm here to sing this anthem Of our dying day Our dying day Of our dying!!! i love him so much <\3 3 | elyse <33

theres no more tryin to make this so right.. theres no more trying tonight [22 Dec 2003|06:20pm] [ mood | pensive ] [ music | sunday drive <3 the early november ] Don't ever let your mind talk you out of something your heart can't live without.... elyse <33

my heart bleeds in more ways the one [21 Dec 2003|12:08pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Romance Kills <3 Heart Bleed Ending ] i thought maybe i would update this b/c i haven't in a week or so.. i guess i left off at monday.. hmm well monday was ok i really dun remember wut happened.. butt uhhh lets jus say i didn't do nething cept hw? so tuesday woke up .showered school then came home n had something to do at 7:30 so i got home like 9 b/c me sara n lacey left earlier then we were supposed to b/c we didn't wanna b there.. so neways came home n did homework n went to bed like 12 or so.. n then wednesday.. woke up .. school.. nothing new.. came home n went to christinas because aaron was goen over there.. so went there n was rly bothered by sumthing but im really not sure what it wass :-/ i hate that so much.. so neway we chilled there n then came bac to my house for a lil n chilled in my room like we always do n i fell in the closet n i jus like stayed there lol im weird dun ask y i put that but i did.. so they left n i did homework n took a shower.. n then bed.. thursday.. same routine.. cept i woke up late this week b/c i went to bed late so i didn't run all week... o well?.. school was bOrInG as usual.. but thats ok? came home n did.. NOTHING lol i did hw n studied mad hard for history n did april morning somewhat.. then shower bed woke up was supposed to striaghten my hair but i didn't feel like gettin up early.. i woke up at like 6:15 or sumthing but didn't get ready til 6:30 ... went to school.. movie 4th period .. party 6th period.. firedrill n quiz 8th period.. came home n then it snowed n me dane christina n danielle were out b/c dana n christina were like gunna fight sum grls but they never showed up.. hhaahahaha wow that whole situation jus cracked me up =) rite danielle?! i got my leg warmers on! haha we ran around doen cheers n shit.. lol then i came home like 5 n did my hair n went to danas n then went to bball game at school then to the mall like 8:30 n came home at 11 n went online got off at 1 i think.. went to bed woke up at 12 n ate/got ready b/c me dana n danielle were goen to the mall.. we went to the mall n saw jay.. n we walked around with blaze.. dana lost like $40 .. it was horrible .. so she was like freakin out n all n it was kinda funny b/c she was runnin around macy*s screamin FUCK n shit .. lol so me n dane came home n got ready n shit n went to amys show.. we were supposed to go to danielle's sis' neighbors to help her babysit but my dad wasn't home ... but the show was good besides the fact that i had a huge headache n sumthin was botherin me.. but only dana knows wut.. so newaaayy.. my dad wasn't home so jay drove us home very nicely.. lol i felt bad b/c he didn't seem like he wanted to .. god i hate wen i feel annoyin.... so neway we got to danas n her bro was haven a party.. ahhaha so we walk in n it smells like beer n her parents weren't home n shit.. lol it was so funny we were like woah wut do we do.. so we ordered us some food n like the guy comes to the door n theres all these drunk kids n dana was on the phone n danielles cat runs in *dana does have a dog* im screamin at the cat n omg it was so funny n the delivery guy was jus laughin so hard.. lol wow it was great. so everyone cleaned up n shit n we were in the dining room n everyone was like looken at us all drunk n shit.. haha n this one grl kept comen over n talken to us n all .. she was rly nice.. lol so then everyone left n then her parents came home .. didn't suspect a thing.. so like 1/2 hour later her bro comes bac home wit like 8 ppl wen i left but dana sed there were more n they were like goen outside n runnin the streets nd all.. weird but i duno.. lol so i went to bed like 1.. man wasn't that one crazyyyyy night?!? lol i need to buy ppl gifts but like mostly from the mall n my moms not gunna take me .. so this is gay.. so christmas is in likek fucken 4 days.. its so crazy cuz it dun feel like it.. this christmas has been THE MOST depressing christmas of all.. n i dun even want to get into it.. as i was tellin dana last night .. no matter how crazy last night was.. it all jus like passed thru my mind like neother situation n all i thought about was sumone n sumthing.. it was really botherin me n i coulda killed a few bitches last nite.. haha w/e i give up.. im not sure if i even wanna go to the show decemeber 27 b/c like yeh but i will go for my buddys n show sum support.. lol buy broken values new cd that comes out on the 27th at their show everyone!! believe the lie RELEASE SHOW!!!!!!!!! december 27th County House Village Center 1901 County House Village sewell nj 08080 broken*values Losing Ground Unfair Advantage Welcoming Troy Arms of Orion doors open at 6 .. 5 bucks to get in n 5 bucks for the EP! congrats guys!! lol so that will b coool... so neway im jus rambling rite about now so i will get goen.. ill update maybe after christmas or whenever ... peace eLYse *4 more days* elyse <33

bring it bac up n ;asdfgn .. i jus wanna see yo ass dirrrty dance.. ahaha! GET LOW :oP [20 Dec 2003|12:53am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | OpenEyes.earlyNovmeber ] 01. Full Birth Name: Elyse Fidelis de Goes 02. Hair Color: umm.. its like blonde but my roots r showen.. they r like dirty blonde 03. Eye Color: dark brown 04. Height Currently: im gunn hafta sey like 5'8" or 5'9" [im a tall sonofabitch] hahha wow j/k 05. Glasses/contacts: contacts 06. Birthdate: april 14th 07. Sign: aries 09. Siblings: 2 10. Siblings Age: 16, 18 11. Location: washinton twp... nj 12. College Plans: to do beauty stuff :-D *christinas mom thinks i should haha i wish my family thought the same* 01. Best Friends: katie.. christina... dana.. danielle.. nd colleen <3 wow loves yous so much! 02. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: na 03. Current Crush: umm.. iuno 04. Hobbies: friends, drawin. goen to shows, mall lol 06. Are You Center Of Attention Or Wallflower: i like to b center of attention but i guess im the ugly wallflower 07. What Type Automobile Do You Drive: haha too bad i can't drive yet =( 08. Are You Timely Or Always Late: i try to be timely.. it depends on who im wit i guess... 09. Do You Have A Job: im a maid in my housee.. lol it sux 10. Do You Like Being Around People: i guesss.. it depends who or sumin.. 01. Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: oh uh huh... we can't get into it b/c colleen will murder me :) haha luv u 02. Have You Ever Cried Over Something Someone of The Opposite Sex Did: umm i think i did one time.. yeh maybe a few times 03. Do You Have A "Type" Of Person You Always Go After: umm i seem to go for the assholes in bands =) very cute ... i like the nice ones too... 04. Want Someone You Don't Have Right Now: of course... 05. Ever Liked a close Guy/Girl Friend: uh huh.. it sucks.. it prolly wouldnt if they felt the same way.. but haha guess wut.. they didn't <\3 06. Are You Lonely Right Now: umm kinda.. i got my friends but in the "love" way.. uh huh very =( 07. Ever Afraid You'll Never Get Married: sometimes i think that... 08. Do You Want To Get Married: pretty sure.. it seems awsome 09. Do You Want Kids: i love babies.. lol yeah i want kidssss FAVORITE 01. Room In house: probably my room <3 02. Type of music: mostly punk n rock.. but gotta sneak in the pop n rapp for the friends.. lol so basically everything 03. Song: Early November.. prolly have to say... [( Open Eyes .. or Sunday Drive .. or Ever so Sweet <3 )] 04. Memory: hmmm.. wow tooo many 05. Day Of The Week: prolly friday 06. Colour: pink or purple!! nething grly .. hehe 07. Perfume Or Cologne: LILU FROM PACSUN!!!!! haha or lucky for her or curve for her.. wow <3 love em lol 08. Flower: calla lillys.. so pretty .. or roses or tuplips r good too... 09. Month: hmm... april or decemeber or nemonth a holiday is in.. 10. Season: autumn and winter 11. Place to be kissed: hmm.. my lips or my hands or my neck lol 12. Location for dates: under the stars or in the park or sumthing romantic.. cuz im like that IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU: 01. Cried: yeah wen my parents fought 02. Bought Something: yup *christmas shoppin* 03. Gotten Sick: process of gettin over being sick actually 04. Sang: of course.. i always sing lol 05. Said I Love You: umm yeh to my friends <3 06. Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them, But Didn't: yeahh i think 07. Met Someone New: kinda 08. Moved On: na 09. Talked To Someone: yehh 10. Had A Serious Talk: i wish.. well maybe kinda 11. Missed Someone: always <\3 12. Hugged Someone: yeh :) 13. Kissed Someone: na 14. Fought With Your Parents: all the time.. unfourtanetly yeah... 15. Dreamed About Someone You Can't Be With: daydreamed yeh but not while sleepin... 16. Had a lot of sleep: hell no.. thats wut im doen tonite tho.. lol 17. Wanted This Survey To Be Over: lil bit but im bored so no lol * ? future [do you want to get married] uh huh [if so, what age would you like to be married] maybe mid 20's early 30's hopefully no later then 35?! [who will you marry] well it would help if i lived life first ya no.. lol [what do you want to do when you grow up] hair/ beauty/ nething like that! [where will you live] i love jersey but like i wanna live everywhere lol me n christina r moven to hollywood wen she marrys aaron ahahaha!!! [do you want to have kids] yess ma'am [what would you name them] hmm.. shAWn haha dreA! hmm wow good one... please lemme live life n get married b4 i start thinkin bout kids.. [coke/pepsi] coke [pen/pencil] pen [vanilla/chocolate] chocolate.. or a mix if available haah [hug/kiss] either .. both r good... [lights on/off] i like the dark but very little lights is pretty too.. [dark/light] dark [rose/lily] rose [dr pepper/mountain dew].. emm neither.. well maybe mountain dew.. lolol brent was showin me his dr pepper lip gloss from his g/f in french.. lol * ? favorites [color] pink or purple or blue. nething pretty n grly... [food] mmm.. hmm i usta like mashed potatoes .. til a few months ago.. can't have em nemore.. so prolly like chicken cheese steak w/o the roll [song] way too many [band] once again way too many [solo singer/rapper] hmm.. not to sure... [movie] FINDING NEMO!! hehe *jus keep swimmin jus keep swimmin.. swimming swimming swimming.. etc.. r u my consicous? yes thats it we havn't talked in a while.. how u been? can't complain* wow love it [tv show] maybe sumin on MTV.. not too much of a tv watcher nemore.. [beverage] soda or water [subject] eww school.. lol prolly biology??? [teacher] ew teachers blow.. [store in the mall] bath n body works.. or nething rly... [radio station] i guess y100 [or Q102 b/c i grew up on it] [book] um.. thats a good one.. considerin i rly dun read nemore.. i would prolly sey october sky? not rly but w/e [holiday] christmas [sport] soccer deff. [fast food] blah doesn't matter to me [color to wear] pink shirt or w/e .. dana sed it was my color hahaha [number] 14! [actress] dunno... [actor] haha iuno [place to eat] maybe italian bistro or motzerella grill? [ice cream flavor] cookie dough or chocolate.. wow im cravin ice cream.. to bad can't have it lol * ? questions - have you ever .. [cheated on a test] oh helll yess [dyed your own hair] oh yes.. wow hahaha i looked like a light bulb! but ppl liked it =) [if so, how many times] like once.. but my mom did it like 4 or 5 times?? [skinny dipped] na sry [stayed home on a saturday] all the time [streaked] naa [got in trouble with the police] haha no.. [broken a bone] uh huh.. [cheated on a bf/gf] na it would help if i had one.. but i would never! lol [fell asleep in class] no can't sey i have.. ive not payed attention all the time but nvr fell asleep [been in the hospital] uhh not for a long period of time.. once for myself.. many times for other ppl... [flashed someone] na [gotten lost on a vacation] don't think so no... [do you have a car] hahaha yeah i wish... [if so, what kind of car do you have] i told u dipshit i dun got one... [what kind of car do you want] umm nething to get me where i gotta go n not like my parents.. i wish i had the money to make a pretty sweet ride.. but i dun lol [do you think you will ever get your dream car] NO! =( [do you smoke] ew no... [do you consider yourself attractive] helllllllll noooooooooooooooooo [do you consider yourself a nice girl/boy] yeh i try to b n ppl sey i m... [do you have a cd burner] nope my parents r stuck in the past.. well wait i have one on the comp i have no music on.. of course.... [what did you do yesterday] being its 12:47 saturday morning.. friday i woke up .shower.school.home.outside for sumthing.. home got ready. danas. high school 4 bball n then mall. n internet/tv. [what did you do today] being that its only been 48 mintues today.. sat here n took this survey thank u vry much... [what are you doing tomorrow] hmm.. shopen .. party.. maybe mall afterwards? =) [what are you doing this weekend] party.. show maybe.. n mall [what did you do last weekend] mall.. christinas.. christmas tree.. same ol shiz.. [thing you ate] cheeseburger w/o the roll like an hour ago [thing you drank] water [song you heard] early november:: ever so sweet <3 [show you watched] i was watchen south park for a few minutes but b4 that i was watchen good eats on food network.. ahah i so love that show ! :-P [thing you said] gimme my 4 bucks bac! [person who called you] christina n dana tellin me to come out to fight someone...? [person you called] hmm i can't think bac that far.. but i may call brent in a few minutes.. [person you hugged] boy : jay? girl: christina.. ahha [person you kissed] no one [last car you rode in] janet's or katie fishers 1 | elyse <33

i luv it how u always make me smile.. thanks :) [15 Dec 2003|11:14pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | all i want 4 christmas is u<3mariah carey ] x g babygerl x: n guess wut!! x0sh0otiN stAr0x: wut!! x g babygerl x: i brought tha pics in skool n eryone thought u were soo pretty!! x g babygerl x: even regina demas x0sh0otiN stAr0x: omg no x0sh0otiN stAr0x: ;ajksbgk;sn x0sh0otiN stAr0x: fuck u! x0sh0otiN stAr0x: EWWWW x g babygerl x: she wus like omg dat elyse?? shes sp pretty! x g babygerl x: FUC K U! x g babygerl x: nO x g babygerl x: ! x0sh0otiN stAr0x: hahah x g babygerl x: but ya eryone wus liike is dat ur elyse dat ur always talken bout n i wus like ya n they were like aww!! omg shes really pretty man i love her.. you always no how to make me smile on the worst of my days.. god i really do love all my friends soo muchhh!!!!!! <33 eLYse elyse <33

plz help me cuz im breaking down. this pic is frozen n i can't get out of hereeeee [15 Dec 2003|07:31pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | still frame <3 [trapt] ] Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out of here Believe me, im just as lost as you Believe me, im just as lost as you an every time i think ive finally made it I learn im farther away than i have ever been before I see the clock and its ticking away, and the hourglass empty What the fuck do i have to say Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out of here Believe me, im just as lost as you Believe me, im just as lost as you Keep it inside, the image portrayed As if i couldnt stand losing as if I couldn't be saved, no way A small confession I think im starting to lose it I think im drifting away from the people i really need A small reflection on when we were younger We had it all figured out 'cause we had everything covered Now were older its getting harder to see What this future will hold for us, what the fuck are we going to be? Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out of here Believe me, im just as lost as you Believe me, im just as lost as you So lost, I'm just as lost as you Oh well what am i going to do I'm afraid im falling farther away (from where i want to be) Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out Please help me 'cause im breaking down, this pictures frozen and i cant get out of here Believe me, im just as lost as you Believe me, im just as lost as you wow last night hadda b the worstttt night ever.. dane n i were supposed to go to a show n then my dad decided to b an ass nd at the last minutee he decided not to take us.. n then i was in a much worse of a mood then i was earlier.. so i did sum more decorating n then wrapped gifts for my moms toys for tots at work <3 i love toys for tots .. lol i like given gifts to ppl.. knowin that someone will b happy this christmas.. but neway the night progressed n everything got horrible.. i layed in my room for like 2 hours n jus cried.. for no apparent reason i jus cried n i was soo sad.. but i didn't kno y.. so neway i came downstairs n sat arround til my bro got off the fone n then i went online.. n thats wen it all started.. like 9 my dad came downstairs n my mom started maken rude comments to him.. n then they started fightin.. omg it was so horrible i was like sooo scared.. i tried to get them to stop a few times n then my dad was like leave us alone n he hit me .. n like i was flippen out on them n all n then i sat bac down n screamed rly loud n then christian came screaming random words like fuck u shut the fuck up i hate my parents u r immature.. blah blah blah.. n then i finally couldn't take it nemore n i was like you no wut .. you guys sit here n fight n wonder why this house is so miserable... all i rememeber growing up is you guys fighting.. you no how that feels.. i went on for like 10 minutes n i was like crying n all .. it was bad.. but hey i cried basically all night newayyy.. n finally they stopped n my dad tried being nice to me.. yeh ok no fuck him.. n then today was like so weird b/c like there was this weridness between me n my family.. god i hate it soo much why can't everyone jus b fucken happy.. noOO! especially this christmas i think will b the crappiest of all jus b/c my parents fight all the time.. so that was my bad night.. i thought iw ould share.. neway i woke up with a cold ND another sickness.. fucken joy! ill prolly b dead by christmas ive been so sick :-/ gosh im so negative.. i needa stop elyse <|3 2 | elyse <33

simple things that make u run away.. catch u if i can [14 Dec 2003|04:20pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | paper heart <33 the all american rejects ] the weekends over.. it wasn't half bad.. lets see wut i did.. friday i cleaned a lil then went to the mall wit christina n dane n meet up wit aaron n craig there.. n i saw katie and her friends there.. it was cool to see her.. but i was soo outta it that nite.. but that was sum fun lol we left like 11 b/c the mall was open later today cuza christmas.. so then we all went home n i went online n then got off called brent talked to him for a lil n then went to bed like 2.. the saturday my dad woke me up like a mofo at 11 .. man i was so tired i coulda sleep for ever. haha but then me n my mom went to look for our second christmas tree.. we found it n holy shit i hate it.. i think its so ugly.. iuno ill have to see after its decorated.. then i went to christinas house n dana came over n we all chilled n then went to CVS n then chilled some more.. n then we wanted to see if nick wanted to come over n he sed he will but we nvr got a time n all n then he nvr came over.. we went to danas n christina hadda go home so me n dana were home alone n so bored.. so i got sum turkey soup from my house n brought it over n i ate that n she made cornbread.. hahahaha holy shit wut fucken losers we are.. lol n then we started watchen lil kids christmas stuff like mikey mouse n frosty n annie n etc.. but we both fell asleep haha n woke up like 11 n i went home sat around for a lil n then went online for a bit went to bed cuz i was tired.. woke up at like 10 went downstairs worked on my essay all day n im finally finished!! =) n then it took a shower n now im sittin here gettin ready to go do some english shit b/c its due wednesday .. n i gotta read for history.. oh wow how fun.. i was supposed to go to a show with jess or dana but i dunno nemore.. cuz i haven't talked to either of emmmmm... i gotta do sum Xmas shopping still lol.. havent even started .. o wellll i guess thats all.. i rly dunno wut else to say b/s the fact that my family pisses me off n u kno that already so ill update later in the week eLYse <33 christmas 11 days! december 27 ~ 13 days! Amys Party 6 days! Leave suM coMMeNTs!! PLease 1 | elyse <33

this song seems right to put in here [13 Dec 2003|12:29am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | the early november <3 sunday drive ] And we wait above a road. We're turning to go home. And the silence from the side of the car, Tells me everything and how we are. Cause there's no more trying to make this so right. Theres no more trying tonight. And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone, And I wonder if, I'm alone in your head. I know something is wrong, I just don't know what to do. You say it's only me, and, that I'm so perfect for you. I don't want to try no more, I don't want to make this right. I just want you to be true to me one time. And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone, And I wonder if I'm alone in your head. Twelve days gone by, since I have saw you last, I'll give this one more try, I'll give it all my best, and, I'll ask What could you be doing that is so much fun? Without me by your side, Without me by your side. And, I will take a step back, and, I'll let you ahead, And, I will take a step away, and, see if you come back, Because there's no more trying to make this so right, Theres no more trying, Theres no more trying tonight. We'll never be the same, We will never be the same, We will never be the same, We will never be the same, Until your done. elyse <33

you're no one.. unless someone loves you.. [11 Dec 2003|06:13pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | linkin park <3 nobodys listenin ] Yo, peep the style and the kids checking for it The number one question is how could you ignore it And drop right back in the cut over basement tracks With raps that got you backing this up like Rewind that we're just rolling with the rhythm Rise from the ashes of stylistic division With these non-stop lyrics of life living Not to be forgotten but still unforgiving But in the meantime there are those who wanna talk this and that So I suppose that it gets to a point where feelings gotta get hurt And get dirty with the people spreading the dirt it goes [Chorus] (Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me) Told you everything loud and clear (But nobody’s listening) (Call to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me) Told you everything loud and clear (But nobody’s listening) I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress handfull of anger, held in my chest And everything left’s a waste of time I hate my rhymes, but hate everyone else’s more I’m riding on the back of this pressure Guessing that it’s better I can’t keep myself together Because all of this stress gave me something to write on The pain gave me something I could set my sights on Never forget the blood sweat and tears The uphill struggle over years the fear and Trash talking and the people it was to And the people that started it just like you [Chorus] (Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me) Told you everything loud and clear (But nobody’s listening) (Call to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me) Told you everything loud and clear (But nobody’s listening) I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress handfull of anger, held in my chest Uphill struggle Blood sweat and tears Nothing to gain Everything to fear Heart full of pain, head full of stress handfull of anger, held in my chest Uphill struggle Blood sweat and tears Nothing to gain Everything to fear Heart full of pain [Chorus] (Tried to give you warning but everyone ignores me) Told you everything loud and clear (But nobody’s listening) (Call to you so clearly but you don’t want to hear me) Told you everything loud and clear (But nobody’s listening) I got a heart full of pain, head full of stress (Nobody’s listening) handfull of anger, held in my chest (Nobody’s listening) Uphill struggle Blood sweat and tears (Nobody’s listening) Nothing to gain Everything to fear (Nobody’s listening) Coming at you from every side x0sh0otin star0x: i guess i dun see wut everyone else sees x0sh0otin star0x: n obviously not everyone sees it x g babygerl x: ur beautiful!!!:-) id fuck ya;-) x0sh0otin star0x: haha x0sh0otin star0x: thx x0sh0otin star0x: ur gorgeous x g babygerl x: ur gorgeouserr x g babygerl x: haha i wuv u:-) x0sh0otin star0x: lol:-) x0sh0otin star0x: wuv u too thanks christina .. i love you u make me smile lol but i still disagreeee! i decided i would update this shizz cus i haven't in a while n im boredd.. nothing reallys been goen on but ill write wut i did neways... the last time i updated was umm i think sunday.. i didnt do nething at all basically.. jus sat around. good times lol then shower bed school runnin shower.. came home n cleaned a lil but i didn't feel like it so i told my mom i didn't feel good n i would do it tomorrow lol so i did hw n sat online then took shower sleep runnin shower school ..didn't go to 8th period.. sat in another room n did nothing.. n then went n got 3 shots :( it was bad lol .. came home n cleaned like woaah! lol i did a vry good job. hahah then i did hw n took shower bed woke up ran shower school.. then went to franks after school wit sara,coll,lacey,nd court... n kailey, cortaney, alicia,brendon,jon n sum other ppls were there.. we chilled n ate n then went bac to school for our thingy.. me n coll left like 5:30.. grr! lol dropped coll off came home n went online ate did a lil of my essay.. hahah sike not rly.. but shh! thennnnnnnnn i was so tired i didn't feel like taken a shower so i went to bed woke up ran downstairs cuz it was pourinng out.. then took a shower scrunched my hair went to school . we had an assembly.. it really made me think .. im lucky to have the life i have n no one rly knows wut goes on b/c im always putttin a mask on b4 i leave myhouse b/c i dunno i guess its a part of life n i guess everyone does it .. i really don't like myself tho.. like its weird n ppl get pissed wen i say this but.. like i think im a bitch.. i feel like i like want to be controlling? n like i want my friends for my self n i hate wen my friends talk to my friends that i like 'found on my own' or they r jus my friend.. i dunno. i will stop now b4 i talk more outta my assss...... neways came home n tried to work on my essay.. not worken.. but im still sick.. its so gayy lol n my arm kills from my one shot.. i noticed i rlly do nothing for school nemore.. im slippen.. its kinda bad.. i jus don't have the 'desire' to do nething.. i don't rly pay attention in class n i bullshit my hw.. im lucky tho.. i took a french quiz the other day n got a 90.. wtf how did i do that.. i never pay attention in that class. i sit in the bac n i jus do nothing.. write notes, sleeep, math hw for next pd, draw, or jus daydream.. it boggles my mind.. haha n i go into honors history everyday like not ready to do nething.. b/c i so hate that class too fucken much.. i no im failin n i feel so stupid.. like i try my hardest n i try to pay attention but it doesn't click.. i wanna like move down to a lower class like CP or w/e but i dunno if i rly do b/c like iuno its a funny class i guess.. n i got to do this essay that i had like over a month to do .. its due monday n i seriously am lost n i have no fucken clue wut i am suppsoed to b doen n no one is like helping me out wen i ask for hellpp.. errr~ i guess ill jus go fail on my own.. another shitty ass class is geometry.. i hate it with all my heart.. 1. i don't get it 2. i hate math with the biggest passion 3. i don't get it 4. my class is immature.. its funny ..hell yeah but we get in trouble n 5. the teacher jus gets on my nerves.. my shittiest classes r all at the end of the day.. which is bad but its good b/c im all happy goen home b/c its over with but those classes like piss me off.. lol i don't even care about my grades nemore .. jess wants me to go wit her to a show on sunday.. n kt wants me to go to the mall on friday with my friends.. n christina wanted to go to this show at her school on firday too.. ahh wut to doo wut too doo.. im prolly gunna jus sit at home like a loser n do honors history essays ... oh wut fun.. i guess im done rambling for now.. thanks for readen lol.. ima loser its cool tho... christmas 14 days december 27th 16 days amys party 9 days im sry but amy.. who the fuck gets suspended for going in a pod.. i never knew they could fucken suspend u from a pod.. thats total bullshit!! haha maybe i should try ;) lol but thats ok b/c i don't wanna b in the same office as the skanky lesbo.. ms. moore.. ewww gives me the chills .. haha I just found a friend in one of your lies to treat me so nice i can't believe my bones when they say so many things they tell me i am fine believe me i, i try Oooh oooh oooh... Ever so sweet... you make this seem the way things go its not my fault and i'll miss i'll miss you so good through all of those nights we lost our way back home Ever so sweet you baked it in cakes for me. What you left behind, it hurts my teeth. Bring in the past with the postcards you sent for me. Every line, it brings me right back down. Can't you see the wall you built for me can't you see the wall you built for me can't you see the wall you built for me Cause we're not special we're not special we're not special Well i'm not special i'm not special Ever so sweet you baked it in cakes for me. What you left behind, it hurts my teeth. Bring in the past with the postcards you sent for me. Every line, it brings me right back down. eLYse<33 sTILL LoVen You <33 do u love me? elyse <33

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