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*..::DAMN it*s hot out!! oh wait, that*s just me ::..* [22 Jul 2004|05:49pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | *..:: Pieces of Me by Ashlee Simpson ::..* ]

..··'* okay, so i know that the subject of this entry is a little bit on the conceded side, but i thought that you all heard that i was a stuck up, conceded bitch?? according to little skanky bitches at school anyway. but luckily i*m done with all of them (*for now anyway*), because i GRADUATED. yup, i*m an adult. well i*m supposed to be anyway, doesn*t actually mean i AM one...hehehe

..··'* it*s been forever since i*ve updated this thing. normally i*m too busy or i just don*t feel like telling everyone how i feel. but i*m bored so i might as well!!!

..··'* 3 days after graduation, miss amanda jo and i went and got tattoos. yup, i actually got a tattoo. which is amazing because i don*t like physical pain. i mean, getting my belly button pierced was nothing, i didn*t feel a thing. same thing with my ears, cartilage and nose. okay, so the nose made me a little queasy but cut me a little bit of slack-i did it myself. but anyway, we went to BodyArt in montpelier and got them done. i got a cute double star on my hip, it*s black on the outside and pink on the inside. and i didn*t even cry!! it*s amazing....can*t wait for my next one!!!!
PS-Justin thinks it*s cute!

..··'* speaking of that cutie of mine, his appendix ruptured. yup, it definitely did. he called me up on the 20th of june (*or maybe it was the 27th....in any case it was near the end of june*) and he told me he wasn*t feeling very well and that he had been up all night puking. i offered to bring him in something, some kind of pill, soup, anything that would help make him feel better. so i rode my bike (*no one was home and he really wanted me there with him*) into town. brough him in some acetaminophen with codeine and i asked him if he wanted me to spend the night with him and he said yes so i stayed.....for 4 days. i kept pushing him to go to the doctor but he didn*t want to. finally he lisented to me, i mean the poor thing couldn*t even move. that night, we (*his mom, him and i*) were all in the ER and the doc came in and told him "you might have a kidney stone". so he was a little bit relieved and then the doctor came back in and said "you have a ruptured appendix and need emergency surgery." i swear to god i almost passed out!!! i was so scared for him and he was scared....so scared that he teared up, but he calmed down when the doctor gave him demerol....figures. i was leaning over his hospital bed a little while before he was due in surgery and he said "the way that the light is hitting your hair, makes you look like an angel." and then he thanked me for taking care of him and told me he loved me, and then told his mom he loved her and was wheeled off to surgery....that was at 12:00 a.m

..··'* his mom and i (*who are very close*), sat in the waiting room outside of surgery....well we both get a little loopy when we are extremely scared and tired (*dangerous combination*) and we were giggling and up to no good. i mean, the woman put a purple spandex glove on her head when justin was in waiting for his diagnosis!!! anyway, i spotted a toy box in the corner and went over to it.....what did i see??? AN ELMO!!!! with only one arm....but i dug deeper and found the other arm. then i went in the nurse's station (*cough cough, not supposed to be there*) and grabbed some stickers to try and fix elmo*s arm. that didn*t work so i took some medical tape and wrapped his arm with it. it held fine, but one arm was shorter than the other!!! it was great...you had to be there...

..··'* when justin came out of surgery it was about 2:30 in the morning and we were so anxious to see him. he was still groggy but he told me he loved me and i gave him a kiss and then left...but i was back up there everyday until he was released (*well he asked me to and i told him i would take care of him for as long as he needed it*). when he went home, he went to his mom*s house and that is where i stayed.....until he could manage on his own. he became very aware of the fact that he could have died and very aware of how grateful he was towards me...it was very.....sweet, let*s just put it that way!!!

..··'* i spent the night at his house on sunday and it was a very.....interesting evening. i had a blast and it was very personal so no details.....ooooh, that sucks for you!! but we were both smiling and very happy to be with each other ALONE...cuz it had been awhile....we*re going out tomorrow night and he is spending the night here...it should be just as fun, if not more!!!

..··'* so, amanda, ravyn and i went to the club on the 15th. it was ladies night and you get in free if you*re there before 10. so we show up and the guy at the door needs to go through your purse and make sure you*re not carrying something illegal. well, the dude must have thought i was smuggling alcohol in my body spray container cuz he took it out and sniffed it....then we went in and danced....well, "Hotel" by R.Kelly came on and some monstrous black dude came up behind me (*and ravyn*) and started dancing with me. i had no idea that he was there and amanda was like, "you might wanna turn around". well, i felt something behind me and sure enough this dude just grabbed me and started dancing with me. amanda didn*t help the situation any!!! cuz this guy started dancing with her and she backed up into me to dance with me too, and she drove me right into the black guy's massive boner!!! omg it was so sick! and then he started whispering something in my ear and called me "white chocolate". so embarassing! i took off for the bathroom after that....i mean this guy was scary!! and he was over 21!!! and then amanda and i were up on the balcony resting a lil bit and the DJ called out some phone number and some drunk 20-something year old that i had no idea was next to me, turned around grabbed me and goes "OMG that*s your number!!!!" i was like...."uh no it isn*t" . so he asked me what it was and i told him (*he was drunk, he wasn*t going to remember....besides, if he did i would tell him about justin anyway...*) and he goes "oooooh, a vermont chick....NICE". what a freakshow. then some spanish guy started talking to me.........in spanish. yea, i almost understood what he was saying!!

..··'* then after, we stopped at a gas station and this white suburban was parked outside and it said HARDBODIES ENTERTAINMENT on the side. well the guys inside (*who for the record were not much to look at*) decided to call me and ravyn "big". and when i heard it i was like "excuse me?!? what did you just say?" call me big one more time mother fucker and i*ll go take a nice long piss on your pretty little white suburban. asshole. amanda was like "you*re not big!!!" yea no shit. the only thing big on me is my massive set of hooters. which, for the record, i don*t like. who needs this much boobage on one little body anyway?!?!

..··'* my puppy Bella (*short for isabella*) scared me not too long ago. she is so tiny and so adorable, but she has the shakes. the vet said she will always shake and he recommended that we take her to see a neurologist. but in the meantime, we*re just hanging tight. well, a little while ago she became very stiff and did not move. i had just barely come home from justin*s house and i was in an excellent mood and i didn*t know what was happening to my dog. well, she started to shake-violently and i became even more scared. apparently she has seizures and that is what happens when she has one. so i curled up in our recliner with her in a blanket and sang about a million versions of "row, row, row your boat" to her. she liked it and it calmed her down. i swear that*s why i sang it. anyway, i took her into the garage with me to watch a movie and just as we were settling down on the fouton, she got sick.....all over my gap sweatshirt. i mean, it was A LOT. she was seriously sick. this started around 7 p.m and she finally overcame her seizure around 10:30 that night. it was awful.....then she was back to her normal spastic self. eating my shoes and dragging my underwear and clothes from my room out into the dining room.....oooh what a nut.

..··'* bought the Ashlee Simpson cd...it*s wicked good!!!

..··'* well that*s all for now...maybe if you*re lucky i*ll add some more later....but for now i*m out cuz justin is calling me in a few and then tomorrow we*re going out...maybe i*ll update you on us (*wink wink*) but don*t get your hopes up!! my love life is MINE. not yours or anyone elses (*especially stupid slutty bitches from northfield and one from roxbury who goes to RAVC.*) later dayz kiddos!!



*..::Rainy Dayz::..* [05 May 2004|05:09pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | *..::Take My Breath Away by Jessica Simpson::..* ]

× -» " i swear to fucking god, dude you fucking rock" i love the song...anyway, i love when you want to use the phone to call your sweetie and your aunt decides to take it up for like, a f*ing hour. anyway, it*s really shitty outside. cold, gray and rainy. awww man!!!!! i hate this kind of weather, b/c then i freeze. well, now i*m on the phone with justin (*awwwz*) my aunt finally got off the phone!!!!!!! YAY!!!!

× -» the past couple of nights have been simply amazing. justin has spent a couple of nights here with me....they have been awesome. we cuddled and all that mushy gushy stuff. the first night he was here, he ended up starting to walk here. my aunt got drunk and decided not to pick him up cuz she wanted to wait 15 minutes to get him. (*even tho the only reason my gram let her use the car was to pick justin up*). so he called me and was like, well i*m coming out there to see you one way or another. so he started to walk here. 7 miles to come see me. awwwz!! i love that kid more than anyone knows....we went out back on the swing and got under a blanket and cuddled and spent hours talking. then we went inside and.......well.....(*hehehehe*)....then the other night he stayed here. i love him so much. he*s my boy

× -» then saturday we were at colby*s house with amanda and colby. it was fricken hilarious. we went there to watch some movies cuz we all know colby has a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE.....................tv.....well we were all snuggled down and comfortable and then the picture on the screen got all f*d up...we could barely see it! so colby decided to play mr. fix-it and try to fix it....he only made it worse so justin decided to get up and try and help him. well they put the tape in the other vcr that doesn*t even work, and it ate the tape. luckily they fixed the tape and we finally got to watch the movie...like 20minutes later!! haha guess you had to be thurr....then we were sitting on colby*s bed couch thing, and him and amanda ended up falling asleep....well, no one told me that colby f*ing twitches in his sleep....violently. i was sitting there watching the movie, and all of a sudden the whole f*ing bed shakes and it scared the hell out of me...colby wakes up and goes " oh sometimes i twitch" and goes back to bed...a few minutes later he twitched again and like, threw me off the bed. so i crawled on the floor and curled up with justin underneath the coffee table (*don*t ask...*)

× -» before we went there, we were at amanda*s house eating BBQ chicken and salad. well her brother was out there with us and he decided to be a little smart ass and throw his cucumbers at me! it wouldn*t have been so bad if it wasn*t for the fact that they were covered in ranch dressing. well, it got all over my aero jacket...so i picked up my chicken and chucked it at his head. talk about funny. he had BBQ sauce in his hair and on his shirt...it was quite amusing...i guess you had to be there. then i called justin and since he lives down the road from amanda, we were watching each other...he went out on his porch to look up the hill and see me....it was wierd i gotta admit.

× -» friday night, we (*me, justin, colby and amanda*) are going to see Van Helsing. i*m totally psyched cuz i get to spend the whole night with my sweetie, and it*s gonna be fun. amanda told me she didn*t want to look over and see me and justin doing stuff (*i just told him that and he goes, awww why not?? what a babe he is!*) so we*ll see if she ends up being disappointed! (*wink wink*) it*ll be fun tho

× -» tomorrow we have a half day of school, but amanda and i aren*t going b/c we*re going down to hartland to pick up my prom dress!!! it*s fricken awesome!!! seriously....this is the link if you wanna see it ( http://www.alfredangeloprom.com/index.cfm/fuseAction/COLLECTIONS.productDetail/fromAdvancedSearch/0/productID/d3c6367d-d22b-4f04-8630-a7fcd2c3c9a5/categoryID/c0322fdd-f6ea-4002-8c96-3ff25fba316a) .........(*if you can*t click on it, just copy and paste it*)....they ordered it in from alfred angelo in New York and i have to go down and pick it up and try it on in case it needs to be taken in on the bottom....it*s awesome i can*t wait til prom...

× -» so stupid bitches need to stop staring at me. honestly, i don*t know what your problem with me is but you need to f*ing get over it and fast. i swear to god, if they stare any more their eyes are gonna glaze over and stay that way. i have never been stared at so much in my life! (*except for when brad and everyone likes to stare at me b/c they know i hate it!!!*) i never did anything to you so you shouldn*t have a problem with me. it isn*t my fault i*m not part of the "i*m-so-dirty-and-skanky-i-need-to-get-my-ass-kicked" club. honestly, GET OVER YOURSELVES. you*re gross and you know it and the fact that i*m not and i*m higher up on the social scale than you, pisses you off. get over it....if you didn*t tell ppl you slept with like 15 guys, and if you didn*t tell ppl you had an std and if you talked to more than 5 ppl b/c they are the only ones who liked you, then maybe you would be half of the person i am...jesus f*ing christ. no i*m not conceted (even tho i sound it right here) but if you guys dealt with the shit i get from ppl, you*d be this way too. it*s not my fault you suck.

× -» well that*s it for me...i gotta go take a shower and curl up on my bed and do some readin'. justin is calling me back in about 2 hrs. so i gotta jet or else i won*t have everything done in time!!!! i love you guys to pieces...well those of who matter and who i know and trust. BYE BYE SWEETIE PIES!!!!!

You are a Siren. More adventurous than all with a
voice like no other you sit on warm rocks and
sing to the moon and sea. Yet sometimes
shipwrecks find you and raving men want you.
You are a bottle of talent and power. What the
unknown is you seek to find, and a lover. You
have the moon and stars as freinds. There are a
very few of you, what a rare find.

What kind of mermaid are you? (Gorgeous Pics)
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You are WILD AND CRAZY KIDS. You couldn't get
through life without a little fun... or a neon
colored t-shirt. You are a team player and
really into Omar Gooding. GO YOU!

Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
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Lion King!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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Love. You Truly Desire Love. You long for someone
to hold you and take the pain away. You haven't
been in much relationships or you need to work
on how to handle them. You always seem lost in
a daydream about the person you care about


What Do You Truly Desire? *PICS*
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*..::frustration mood extreme::..* [28 Apr 2004|08:44pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | *..::Roses by Outkast::..* ]

xO everyone better watch out cuz i am in an insanely frustrated mood right now. this week has been...so f*ing stressful on me. especially the whole "andrea" thing. i don*t know what the fuck i did to piss her off, except breathe maybe and she all of a sudden has a problem with me. whatever, i*m sick of dealing with her and all of her bullshit. i went to shannon and filled out a harassment form. call me a bitch if you want, i*ll give you a reason to. but don*t fucking scream it out of a car window because you see me with justin and then try to hide behind the car seat. MATURE. oh definitely. and honestly, if her and her friends were trying to look cool in front of justin by saying shit, it definitely didn*t work. he*s in love with me, he*s not gonna take nicely to ppl who run their mouth about me....DUH.

xO i spent the night at justin*s house last night. it would have been so much better if his brother hadn*t been there forever watching movies with us. about 2:00 this morning, justin crawled into bed with me, covered me up and rubbed my back and fell asleep with me....again. i love him so much and i*m so happy with him. completely. then today we fell asleep a little after 3:00 pm and we woke up a little after 6. it*s good to fall asleep with someone you*re completely in love with and then have them be the first thing you see when you wake up. i love that feeling....he means the world to me...

xO took some more quizzes.....was pretty bored actually.....go me....altho the emotion quiz didn*t exactly make much sense...cuz i*m in love and not lonely or sad at all....wtf...

xO going to the lamest dance ever at NHS...the hawaiian dance!!! haha...i love lame things like that. it*s gonna be fun....hopefully. if i decide to go . i might just say fuck it and go to justin*s.....who knows....then saturday i*m going to Ecllipse with amanda and some ppl to check it out....then sunday we are planning on making waffles all day...haha isn*t that clever?? if you don*t think so, then screw you....no waffles for your ass....

You are DORY!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most.

What Emotion Dominates you?
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*..::spring is in the air::..* [15 Apr 2004|10:17am]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | *..::Outrageous by Britney Spears::..* ]

- -» well it*s been brought to my attention (by casey of course) that i haven*t updated my journal in a long friggen time! so i decided it*s about time that i did...i*m not going to sit here and write about everything that has been happening, because some of it is waaaaaaaaaaay too personal to dish out on-line. the wrong person could see and ruin my whole entire life (*although it wouldn*t be much different from what ppl are trying to do now*)...

- -» it*s already mid april and school will be over with soon. it*s starting to get a little depressing. i*m going to miss all of my friends, and the gossiping in the halls, spending a whole day with the people i identify most with (*in which case, some ppl would classify as the bitches of the school...but honestly, who isn*t a bitch these days?*). what i won*t miss is the underclassmen running their mouths, the lies, the backstabbing "friends" and of course, our wonderfully fat and obese principal. graduation is nearing and i have to figure out who i*m walking with. a certain person said that if we didn*t have anyone to walk with when graduation time came, that we should walk together...but i don*t know if that*s gonna happen. i mean, his freshman might not like it. :) but anyway, i can*t wait...but then again i can...

- -» i*m sure everyone is dying to know what*s been happening with justin and i. but if you are one of my friends who i tell everything to, then you know what*s been happening. and if you*re not, then HAHAHA.

- -» so amanda and i are best friends. it*s kind of ironic because at the beginning of the year we didn*t like each other. she didn*t really like the cheerleaders and i was one of the captains, and she seemed stuck up beyond belief. but that isn*t true, and thankfully we became best friends. besides, we both have a lot in common. we were both cheerleaders, we*re both blonde and ditzy, we*ve both been "involved" with 2 of the most popular guys in our senior class (*granted that she is dating hers and i just kinda...well...did stuff with the other*), and of course our awesome name. ha. as a bonding kinda thing we both pierced our noses. let me tell ya, if you want to bond with your best friend, do something a little less drastic than piercing your nose. cuz it hurts like a mother fucker!!

- -» prom is approaching and i am psyched. i have the prettiest dress i have ever seen and i just can*t wait to walk into prom and see the look on everyone*s face. it*s going to be priceless......

- -» so amanda and i are on the outs with ravyn. apparently, people are saying that it*s all my fault but if ravyn would tell them all the true story, then they wouldn*t be thinking that. it*s not my fault she is a lying two faced bitch. she goes and cheats on her boyfriend and then tells her friends about it. HELLO?? are you totally fucking retarded?!?!? if you don*t want your boyfriend to find out you cheated on him, don*t tell people who are friends with him, too. and now she*s going around telling everyone that all she did was kiss this other guy JOSH. yea, ok ravyn. you be cool and tell them that. amanda and i (*along with a few other ppl, including eric who works at shaws*) know the truth. so you can sit there and deny it all you want. it*s sick that he took you back. i would fucking throw your ass to the curb. and it*s pretty mature that you*re trying to turn all of our friends against us by lying about us, and saying we started this out of jealousy of you and des. YEA almost. cuz there is a lot there to be jealous of. and honestly, you can have ppl tell you that you*re a good person with a huge heart but you know what?? if it were true you wouldn*t have cheated on him in the first place. fucking idiot. and not only that, but you can TRY to kick our ass, but honestly....it*s a lot easier to fucking beat down a marshmallow than to try and beat the fuck out of a stick. which is bigger and has more cushion?? yea that*s what i thought.

- -» anyway, on a lighter note....i*m supposed to go to the movies with some ppl this weekend and i*m really excited. well, that is if amanda and colby don*t decide to go drink at a party. we*re on vacation anyway. get drunk some other time!! besides, the girl who is throwing the party is a complete bitch. i wish she would fucking stay out of other people*s business....COUGH COUGH. like mine and justin*s.....

- -» so amanda, colby, jeff and i hung out a couple of times. and even tho things with me and jeff are wicked shitty right now, i do have to admit it was kinda fun. he can be a real dick when he wants to be, but then he can be the sweetest kid ever. we all were hanging out at amanda*s one night and her neice lexi was there.....me and jeff were sitting in amanda*s huge cushion chair and lexi came over and like, smacked us on the head. i won*t tell you what she said, cuz i wouldn*t want to embarass jeff, but ask me if you wanna know and i*ll tell you...it was fucking hilarious.

- -» sunday night a bunch of us are going to Electra. i can*t wait it*s gonna be awesome. especially since ravyn and her "crew" will be there. but honestly, who has the better crew?? ME AND AMANDA. at least ours doesn*t consist of ugly dogs who like to stare and run their mouth. oh but i forgot, our crew is the bitch crew who everyone knows...and it has popular ppl in it. MY BAD. i*d like to fucking see what happens....

- -» anyway, that*s it for now. i have all the personal stuff in my OTHER journal so you can*t see it...;) i know, it sucks not knowing the good stuff anymore, doesn*t it?? but oh well....i don*t kiss and tell...at least not anymore.


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Threesome Fun by Mckennat
Favorite Color
Date of ThreesomeMay 7, 2010
Location of Threesomein the shower
First PartnerJohnny Depp
Second PartnerJoey Fatone
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*..::Fucking stop running your skank ass mouth!!::..* [07 Jan 2004|12:52am]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | *..::Play Me by Korn::..* ]

well i think it*s pretty cool...you know, when someone runs their nasty fucking mouth about you and one of your best friends, just because they think it makes them look cool and because they*re pissed off that you*re with a guy they can*t touch. well too bad you scar faced skank ass BITCH...get over it.

there is this 10th grader with a massive scar on her face named andrea who decided she would be bold and start to run her mouth to her "friends" (what few she has) about me and shireen. yeah that*s cool. she tries to do it sooooo casually so we don*t see...way to go you FUCKING IDIOT. we aren*t stupid. i told justin about it and he*s like "don*t bother with her and waster your time on her. she isn*t worth it." i DEFINITELY agree she isn*t worth it....hell she isn*t worth the button on my pants for christ sake. but if she*s going to stand there and call me and shireen bitches and shit like that, we are going to fucking wreck that scar faced little dyke.

it*s also pretty fucking hilarious when she insists that MY boyfriend is aaaaaaallllll over her at the loser hangout....you know, the teen center. it*s where all the "cool" kids go. granted my hunny goes there, everyone else is a flaming fucking homo. and i must say, it*s wicked cool to brag about being on probhation and having genital warts. woo i*m jealous....FUCKING NOT. she has nothing to be jealous of. except that wicked cool scar.....

and smoking at the church before and after school....OMG i totally forgot how appealing THAT is. fucking idiot i hope she dies of lung cancer like soon. omg she needs to get her ass kicked!!!!!! and me and shireen want to beat her nasty face in and add a couple more scars to it....

but i have to say....one of the GREATEST things i heard about her tonight was when she fucking fooled around with her cousin...and she knew it was her cousin and then she wanted to go out with him!! OMG GROSS!!! fucking incestrious bitch...that is so gross. it must be because every other normal guy doesn*t want to touch her...must be the genital warts stick out too much. i mean she is nasty and slutty and all...and i have a whoooooole bunch of information from one of her old friends...so it isn*t like she can deny it.

all i know is that if that scar faced fucking bull dyke doesn*t stop running her mouth and starting shit with me and shireen, she*s going to have about 7 or more scars to add to that HUMUNGOUS one that takes up the side of her head....FUCKING HOMO!!!!!!!!!

on a MUCH better and happier note, i cried when i got off the phone with justin because he was so sweet and i was so happy. i asked him if what scar face said was true about him being all over her and vice versa and he was like "fuck that. i hardly even talk to her, why waste my time?" he said that he loves me and is so very much in love with me and that i would be the first to know if someone was being like, all over him and stuff. (besides, my friends who go to the TC tell me if someone is or not....and from what they say, she hasn*t been....haha scar face isn*t only ugly, but a liar too!) he said that he loves me more than i know and more than i think he does and that he wants to be with me and no one else. because i*m his first love and he can*t stop loving me...how sweet is that?!?! hehe i love my boy

anyway, it*s 1:03 a.m and i have school in the morning!! wtf am i doing up?!? oh yea complaining about scar faced little fucks...alrighty i*m outtie...much love to the ppl who matter!!!!!!! (just for clarification, that does not include ppl with huge scars on their faces, and the ppl who associate with them.)

x*s and o*s~


*..::shattered emotions::..* [04 Jan 2004|07:12pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | *..::Whatever by Godsmack::..* ]

well i have to say, it has been a lil while since i last updated this thing and i really had hoped i would be happy when i updated it. however due to recent events i have to say that i*m anything but happy.

i hate when someone tries to get on your good side by telling you what you want to hear. i knew that a girl on the squad had a thing for justin last year, only she denied it and told me she never liked him and all of this other bullshit. unfortunately for me i sort of believed it because she seemed really nice. not only that but she was going to be a freshmen this year and i felt bad for her. however i don*t feel bad for her now and it*s her own fucking fault i*m pissed off at her. let this be known: don*t fucking lie to me EVER. i can be the biggest bitch in the world and i*ll fucking show you...you won*t even want to say shit to me anymore. anyway, it*s pretty cool when you have proof that someone has lied to you. so right now she is on my shit list and honestly, it*s her own fault. and i don*t feel bad at all.

actually, there is a good side to this journal entry. i AM happy about one thing: me and justin. i spent 10 days at his house without coming home and it was great. he even told me i didn*t have to go home, that i could stay there with him but i had to come home for at least one day. i am so happy and in love with him. he is the one i am going to be with forever...you can just tell. and if anyone tries to fucking get in the way and write him letters saying "oh i like you so much, get rid of your girlfriend" i will fucking slit you open from naval to nose. mark my words, i*m not kidding.

speaking of slitting, people seem to think i*m crazy because of my history with depression and when i used to slit my wrists. i*m not crazy, it just made things better. no one asked you to like it or even approve of it (and thank you to my friends who know about it and still care). you can*t sit there and say i*m psycho or whatever. you don*t fucking do it and if you don*t do it, don*t run it to me. you have no idea the kind of shit i go through and fucking deal with. it was an escape for me. and you can say whatever you want about it but those who talk don*t know. you*re just a bunch of fucking pathetic little perfect world citizens who pretend not to have any problems to make yourself look good...well guess what: i don*t fucking buy that shit anymore.

however, i am wicked sore from cheerleading the past couple of days. it has me sooooo rattled and aggravated. i can*t lift laura into her elevator without moving backwards and it*s frustrating me. my shoulders hurt sooo bad. and yesterday i bit her! not on purpose tho, but i felt wicked bad anyway. but i guess it*s ok....i have too many bruises on me to count...yea, it*s a brutal sport.

my baby is calling me in a lil bit. so i*m going to go wait for him....at least he won*t fucking stab me in the back....



*..::Sweetest Sin::..* [19 Dec 2003|06:04pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | *..::With You by Jessica Simpson::..* ]

well well well..it*s been a lil while since i wrote in here...i*ve been busy as a bee!! christmas is like, right around the corner and i have a lot of shopping left to do!! but thankfully i*m going to B*Town tomorrow with my gramma to do some shopping at the U-Mall. the person i have to buy the most presents for is justin...thank god he*s pretty easy to shop for!!!

so a funny thing happened to me yesterday...i went to the Berlin Mall with ann and we went into JCPenny. i have now decided that store f*ing sucks. well the one in that mall anyways. we go in to buy charles*s brother a watch. we get the watch and leave. this manager person or whatever the fuck he was follows us out of the store, down to those big doors by claire*s and out towards her car. then he wrote down her liscence plate number and all of that good stuff. he thought we were stealing crap but he wasn*t sure so he didn*t ask us. he just creepily followed us. (*ok so i don*t know if "creepily" is a word but who f*ing cares?!*) i had on justin*s sweatshirt, my cheerleading jacket and my winter coat cuz i was wicked cold and my blue jacket doesn*t zip. i guess ann heard one of the ladies who works there tell the guy that i looked pregnant, so i must have stolen something. SWEET. didn*t occur to her that it was f*ing snowing out and colder than hell....dumbass. so screw going back to that store again!

so justin and his mom invited me to spend christmas with them. it was pretty sweet actually. my favorite holiday with my favorite person in the world....awww yayerz! he pretty much told me and he keeps on telling me, that i*m going with them on christmas and that i can*t make any plans....hmm, demanding, isn*t he?! *LOL*...that*s ok, i*m not going to say no.

cheerleading is going pretty good. the practices can suck sometimes and get extremely frustrating. especially the practice we had before the pep rally. that was so frustrating, we all like, cried. nothing was going right and for everything that went wrong we either had to run laps, do 30 push ups (*and not the girlie kind either*), do 15 toe touches or whatever they decided we had to do. the day of the pep rally wasn*t much better. all of our nerves were messed up and we were soooo nervous. as it was, we did really awesome and everyone clapped and cheered for us. but i have to admit, there are times when i just want to quit and not look back. i hate all of the bullshit that people give us. they sit there and f*ing rag on us...i just want to yell at them and be like "yea, i don*t see you throwing people in the air, and dancing and doing gymnastics and getting all these f*ing bruises like we are." i hate when ppl sit there and run it about us when all they think we do is stand on the court and yell "go team go". it*s pretty cool. they should just come to our practices and see what really goes on. then maybe they would start to respect us a little bit more...besides, who are the ones getting all of the compliments from people in the crowd?? oh that*s right....us.

so i have to admit, i really don*t like a girl in our school. and i don*t care if ppl think it*s a bad thing or not. i seriously have a problem with this girl. i don*t know her last name, but her first name is Andrea. she has a scar under her eye and that thing is massive. it takes up like, half her face! it hink she looks like scarface, personally. HEHEHE...anyway, i hate her because she seems to think that she can have justin and all this other crap. well bitch, if you wanna fight me you can try and take him. but i have to say, you even try to touch me and not only will justin kick your ass, but so will my cheer babes. i*m more liked than you...by A LOT of ppl and i don*t sit there and smoke to make me look cool...i just naturally am (*LOL*)....further more, it*s pretty cool to brag that you*re on probhation. that definitely attracts a lot of ppl...besides, i heard that you have genital warts. you*re friggen gross!!! ewwwwy!! just stay away from justin and you*ll be fine...if you try anything, you will have a matching scar underneath your other eye. (*WIDE GRIN*)

anyway, i have a crush on someone.....0:)

read this...it*s all about me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the way things should be....jk jk i*m really not a prissy ass princess.....well, maybe!!

part one [basics]
-- name: Amanda
-- nickname: Manda, Manda Bear, Blondie, Hoots, Missy
-- birthdate: June 3rd
-- location: VT
-- eye color: green
-- hair color: blonde
-- righty or lefty: righty
-- zodiac sign: Gemini
bff`s: ann, the cheer girls, justin

-» part two [describe..]
-- your heritage: irish, welsh...a whole bunch of other stuff too..
-- the shoes you wore today: my boots...the LEI ones
-- your hair: shoulder length and layered
-- your weakness: shoppin`
-- your fears: snakes, death, losing someone important to me
-- your perfect pizza: pepperoni, pineapple, mushroom...or veggie
-- one thing you'd like to achieve: modeling...ya right tho

-» part three [what is. .]
-- your most overused phrase on aim: *LOL*
-- the first feature you notice in the opposite sex: face mostly eyes and clothes, the obvious lol
-- your best physical feature: umm idk i don*t like ne thing about myself...cept maybe my eyes cuz they sparkle
-- your bedtime: whenever i f*ing go to bed!
-- your greatest accomplishment: making it to competition last year with the squad

-» part four [ you prefer ..]
-- pepsi or coke: depends on the mood
-- sprite or 7up: cherry 7up
-- mcDonald's or Burger King: mcdonalds
-- single or group dates: single
-- adidas or nike: rite now adidas but i like em both
-- lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: nestea
-- chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
-- cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino

part five [do you]
-- cuss: guilty
-- sing well: of course! i*m a natural born diva!!
-- take a shower everyday: yes...no i just go smelly for months at a time...puhleeeze! i*m not gross
-- want to go to college: definitely
-- want to get married: yes
-- type w/ your fingers on the right keys: yea
-- believe in yourself: sometimes
-- get motion sickness: sometimes
-- think you're a health freak: sometimes
-- get along with your parents: yes
-- like thunderstorms: OMG i love them!
-- play an instrument: haha no

-» part six [in the past month have you]
-- drank alcohol: yep
-- smoke(d): no
-- done a drug: again with the no answer
-- eaten an entire box of Oreos: no my mother "forgets" to buy crap food for me
-- been on stage: no
-- been dumped: no
-- gone skating: no
-- made homemade cookies: no
-- gone skinny dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair: nope
-- stolen anything: no comment!

-» part eight [number of..]
-- number of drugs taken illegally: what is with the drug thing?!? are you sure YOU aren*t a druggy?
-- number of CDs that I own: lots
-- number of piercings all over you body: 5
-- what are they: two in each ear and my belly button
-- number of tattoos: none yet
-- number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: lots when i was younger and in that stupid friggen beauty pageant
-- number of scars on my body: 2 many 2 count
-- number of things in my past that I regret: lots of things


*..::Fade Away::..* [22 Nov 2003|08:43pm]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | *..::Even Angels Fall::..* by Jessica Riddle ]

well i haven*t written in here in a long time. mainly because i*ve been so busy, but also because apparently so many people had a problem with me writing in here. as of now i don*t care if you like what is said in here or not. it*s my life and what i write about happens in my life, if i want to talk about it then i*m going to and no one-and i mean no one-is going to tell me i can*t. if you don*t like it, fine...don*t f*ing read it.


the 2003-2004 cheerleading season has started up again, and i*m co-captain. it*s my last year cheering for the school and it*s going to be really emotional. i love all of the girls so much (*jacs, bnitto, ash, tyner*) and of course the guys (*edmund and chris*) i don*t know how i*m going to say bye to them at the end of the year! i don*t want to.... we are getting new everything this year. well everything except for uniforms. which is ok cuz i like our uniforms...we better win competition this year too....

so my friend tyler likes me. which is kinda cool because it*s someone new i guess. but i know too much about him, and some of the things i know are wicked unattractive. i don*t know if i could ever be with him. he*s a wicked awesome person and i love him to pieces but it*s complicated. he likes to call me a "bitch" cuz he knows i hate when ppl call me that....what a little jerk! he*s a great person tho. he makes me feel a lot better about myself, especially since i*ve given up on myself. he tells me i*m beautiful like he means it...or maybe he just wants a piece! *LOL* no, he*s really sweet tho...

i know everyone is wondering about me and justin. well good for you, keep right on wondering....

i honestly don*t know what to write in here. it*s been such a long time and so much has happened. i guess i*ll have to update on a day where a lot has happened. til then, mad lovin'!! xoxo mwah!

~Find Your Beauty Aura~

You represent... playfulness.
You represent... playfulness.
Playfulness can often be mistaken for sluttiness or
flirtiness... Flirting is something you enjoy
doing, but you're mostly just about having fun.
You're into partying, and it's seems that
people enjoy your company as much as you enjoy

What feeling do you represent?
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Rini - "Little bunny"
Sponsored by www.life-blood.cjb.net

What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

*..::MIND UR OWN BUSINESS::..* [12 Oct 2003|05:11pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]
[ music | *..::Follow Through by Gavin DeGrawn::..* ]


×·.·´`·thanks colbs for the advice.....

bAlLaWiTsKiLlZ15 (4:59:32 PM): punch them in the face
MiSsPoPuLaRiTy26 (5:00:49 PM): i can*t punch them in the face
bAlLaWiTsKiLlZ15 (5:01:20 PM): people who u dont care abouts opinions shouldnt matter to u
MiSsPoPuLaRiTy26 (5:02:14 PM): yea but when i hear it from like 5 different ppl.....it*s kinda hard to figure out what to believe...u know?? and i definitely don*t like these ppl but it*s getting hard to tell if this person actually does care about me...so i question it......
bAlLaWiTsKiLlZ15 (5:02:39 PM): who justin?
bAlLaWiTsKiLlZ15 (5:02:44 PM): justin cares about u and he loves u
bAlLaWiTsKiLlZ15 (5:02:46 PM): trust me, i know he does
bAlLaWiTsKiLlZ15 (5:02:58 PM): just chill
bAlLaWiTsKiLlZ15 (5:03:07 PM): what the fuck do they know

×·.·´`·oh and lookie here...

justin: i don*t want anyone else to ever be with you except me..
me: aww hunny, same here...
justin: you are my first true love, the one i fell in love with and the only one i ever want to be in love with

×·.·´`·hmm and this is good too.....

lookbehindyou99: i am not interested in havin another girl friend
MiSsPoPuLaRiTy26: do you mean you don*t want someone who isn*t me or anyone in general? i*m confused
lookbehindyou99: i dont want someone who isn't you

lookbehindyou99 (7:07:13 PM): iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyouloveyou



*..::Warm Sunny Days::..* [09 Oct 2003|06:29pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]
[ music | *..::Going Under by Evanessence::..* ]

×·.·´`·well, i*ve been sitting here drinking my hot cocoa with the tiny marshmallows...contemplating just exactly what it is i*m going to write about...

×·.·´`·right now i have an away message up on my AIM sn and this is what it says:

You don't know who the fuck your dealing with

....u can run ur mouth and try to mess with my man, but just remember what it all comes down to in the end....me beating ur pathetic, worthless face in....and yea, i know everything that happens at the teen center...so watch ur back bitches

×·.·´`·basically i am sick and tired of all these little hoochie hoes who think they are hot shit and who think they an take justin from me. it*s pretty pathetic actually....just realize that u bitches....

×·.·´`·so we got our page thing to do for the yearbook today and i was sitting there thinking of all the memories i have...good and bad....and some i*d like to forget all together...like last summer when some disgusting hoe decided that she would tell me my boy justin wanted her even tho he came back to me....hmm interesting how things work out!!!! it*s always been me and him and it always will be....anyways, ann and i decided to share a page...it*s going to be the coolest page in the yearbook!!!!

×·.·´`·prom theme is VIP....which will be cool with the red carpet ands fancy stuff...a lot better than fucking Jungle Fever...that is pretty gay...

×·.·´`·dropped AP Biology...yay!

×·.·´`·well i*m waiting for my justin to call me so i can make plans with him for this weekend...so i will write this later when something actually happens...*LOL*


Your Hottest Body Part is Your Butt!

From the back you're mistaken for J-Lo.

You are a rump-shaking dynamo on the dance floor.

Thongs were invented just for you.

You're able to please your man sexually in all sorts of ways - especially through your back door.

You put the ass in ASSett.

Baby, you got back, and you're proud of it.

Celebs who work their ass as hard as you do include: Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue, Christina Aguilera, and of course, J-Lo.

Want to play up your ass even more?

Try low rise jeans and vinyl pants, schoolgirl skirts, and form fitting shorts.

And of course, g-strings and thongs only - no squishing that fine ass with panty lines.

What's Your Hottest Body Part??

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Dependent:Very High

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com

boy toys

You Attract Boy Toys!

You're a laid back chick, and the most appealing kind of girlfriend.

No surprise that you attract cute party boys and handsome athletes.

Your relationships with these guys are 100% pure fun - and very sexually charged.

The minute things get bad with your boy toy, expect him to go on to the next girl.

If you don't keep him happy with wild parties, drunken debauchery, and a convertible to drive...

Well, chances are he'll find a woman who does.

Enjoy your Boy Toy for who he is - hot sex, good drugs, and a total ego boost.

Don't get emotionally attached, let him chase you...

And always use a condom!

What Kind of Guy Do *You* Attract?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Take the M&M's Test @ /~erin

*..::I LOVE MY JUSTIN!!!::..* [08 Oct 2003|04:53pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]
[ music | *..::Numb by Linkin Park::..* ]

×·.·´`·so justin and i were talking about it...and we thought about it...and this is the conclusion we have come to: IF YOU DON*T LIKE MY ON~LINE JOURNAL, DON*T FUCKING READ IT!!!! yes, we are sick and tired of hearing you ppl bitch and complain. if you don*t like hearing about me and justin, or anything else in my journal, then don*t read it...HELLO how stupid are you ppl?! anyway, that is what me AND justin came up with

×·.·´`·well i spent the last few days at justin*s house. he even said today that i didn*t have to leave...awww how sweet!! i just didn*t want to stay here....besides, his mom is so nice to me. she likes me a lot, so it*s ok for me to stay there "whenever i want to". so i stayed there and i*m glad i did. if it hadn*t been for the fact that i ran out of clothes, i would be there right now.

×·.·´`·i had a great time while i was there. the other day when i got there, justin went up to take a shower and i went in to sit down and talk to him like i normally do....WELL i am not going to tell you what happened next, and before your dirty little minds think they know what happened, it wasn*t sex...well, not the "normal" sex anway.

×·.·´`·then on monday night, we were watching Predator and i was sitting at one end of the couch and he had his head on my lap and he was laying down on the rest of the couch. so i started to run my fingers through his hair and scratch his head, because he LOVES when i do it. i lifted my hand off his head for one second to itch my nose and he goes "hey, who said you could stop?!" it was adorable...so i continued to run my fingers through his hair with one hand, and rub his back with the other....then i curled up on the floor and he rubbed my back....awwwz i love him soooooooooo much!

×·.·´`·last night was so cute! justin was sitting up on the couch and i was laying down across it with my feet on his lap and he started to give my foot a massage! it was so precious! then he stole my sock and gave me one...he even bit my foot! hehe...what a babe...then he decided to put on this scary ass halloween mask and when i came up from helping his mom, him and his brother in the basement, he had it on and came around the corner of the basement door and i SCREAMED! he said it was cute but you know, it was pretty scary!! haha

×·.·´`·this morning was sweet too...we woke up at 7ish cuz his mom was headed for work and stuff...and he was wrapped up in his blanket and i was wrapped up in mine and we cuddled up on the couch and watched cartoons...how cute is that?!?! then we started to wrestle for a list of um, "things" i wrote down for him that i want him to choose from and he looks at me and goes: "YOU LOOK HOT IN MY PAJAMA PANTS!!!" it was cute...then he went up and took a shower....

×·.·´`·i ran a bubble bath and turned off the bathroom light and crawled in it...well justin came in and decided he wanted to take a bubble bath too...which turned into a shower...which turned into something that you young kids shouldn*t even talk about!! so i won*t tell you what happened....*LOL*

×·.·´`·so now i*m home for a day or two then maybe back to his house...i*m gonna see if he wants to stay here friday night since we usually spend the night at his house...we*ll see tho....GOD i am so in love with my boy justin....AWWWWWWZ!!!

×·.·´`·so yea, if you DON*T like reading my journal, or if you DON*T like hearing about me and justin because you*re pissed off cuz we are in love and your not...haha...then DON*T read my journal anymore and STOP YOUR BITCHING!!!!!

×·.·´`·check out the quizzes!! the first one is kinda funny since justin always calls me his princess...hehe....gotta go, gotta finish my nails, do some hw and wait for my justin to call me...hehe talk about 2 ppl in love!

×·.·´`·i love you justin!!! xoxo baby·.·´`·×

Himeko - "Princess Child"
Sponsored by www.life-blood.cjb.net

What would your Japanese name be? (female)
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Which monkey are you?
Another pointless diversion from Bijouriel

you babe you. you believe in having fun over
everything else. just remember, if you can't
be good be careful

What quote best describes you?
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Dark Chocolate
You are Dark Chocolate. Very mysterious. People
want to like you, but you scare them a little.

What Kind of Chocolate are You?
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The down-to-earth girl
The down-to-earth girl

Which girl stereotype are you?
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<<>>???What Kind Of Angel R You???<<>>( NEW!!! Anime Pics )

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*..::Fall Days::..* [03 Oct 2003|03:37pm]
[ music | *..::Have A Little Faith In Me by Mandy Moore::..* ]

×·.·´`·so fall in vermont is wicked beautiful....for real, the trees are wicked pretty with their orange, red and yellow leaves....plus it*s so cool and crisp....aaaah, that is like the only reason i love vermont...the fall season...*LOL*

×·.·´`·so today was an ok day....started off terrible..woke up with a worse head cold than i had yesterday...but i had to go to school...then on the way to school, my grandmother was like you really should talk to melinda and apologize for what you*ve said and done...which is pretty fucking cool considering i didn*t say or do anything...she is the one who started this whole thing....

×·.·´`·then when i came home to check my e~mail, my gram decided to have a "talk" with me about why i want to move out and stuff and so we had a little discussion. it was pretty ok...even tho i was on the verge of crying and i couldn*t tell her the whole entire reasoning behind it either....i didn*t know how to...

×·.·´`·she just came in to tell me that i had to talk things out with melinda...that isn*t going to happen. i didn*t do anything to provoke her drunk ass into saying or doing anything....as far as i*m concerned, i could live the rest of my life without talking to her...that is how much i don*t give a damn...

×·.·´`·WELL! i called my boy at lunch cuz i wanted to talk to him...he*s the love of my life, after all...and we are spending tomorrow together...i have to talk to him and figure out a way to get out of this house...cuz he*s seen how it affects me...and he doesn*t like it...he doesn*t like it at all...and he doesn*t trust melinda around me anymore either...he is so ready to pop a cap in her ass if she touches me or says shit to me again...i hope he does cuz then maybe she will get a clue

×·.·´`·i heard that for our senior class trip we might be going on a 23 hr. cruise off the coast of maine...how awesome would that be?? some ppl were like no we should do that for project grad...well fuck project grad...not everyone is doing that and paintballing is not a class trip, sorry to say...do THAT for project grad. no one made you the class organizer anyway....and ok...JUNGLE FEVER for prom?!?! FUCK THAT!!

×·.·´`·well i*m off i suppose...look at my super cute quizzes i took!! hehe......I LOVE YOU JUSTIN!! XOXOXOXOXOXO...he*s my babe, my life, my saving grace....mwah!!!!

You are a... Love Dream!

What Kind of Dream Are You
brought to you by Quizilla

Your: Mysterious eyes. All in the title. Your independant secretive and myseterious. You appear cold and distant, but hey, at least no one messes with you.
Your: Mysterious eyes. All in the title. Your
independant secretive and myseterious. You
appear cold and distant, but hey, at leats no
one messes with you.

What type of eyes do you have?
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pretty fucked.

what fucked version of hello kittie are you?
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You're Orange!

What kind of tic-tac are you?
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*..::so so so so so in love::..* [02 Oct 2003|05:01pm]
[ mood | determined ]
[ music | *..::Baby Be Mine by LFO::..* ]

×·.·´`·well, this has certainly been an eventful week...lots of drama and stress...and only one person who could make everything in my world ok again....i love you justin....you are everything good in my life and i*m glad that i have you...xoxo baby....

×·.·´`·ok so justin stayed over on monday night because...well because he wanted to be with me...anyway, the next morning, i woke up and everything seemed normal...i did my morning routine and went in and snuggled and smooched with justin...then we hear the worst noise ever...my aunt shouting "shut the fuck up, ppl are sleeping have some fucking respect."....what a bitch...we weren*t even being loud...k so i was giggling cuz he kept tickling me and stuff but honestly, if the bitch wasn*t so drunk and had a hangover, she would have been sleeping just fine..in any event, she went postal and me and justin were just like oooooooook....so then i went out to see if she was bringing me in and i poured her coffee and brought it out to her because she likes coffee before she brings me in...well she starts flipping out on me saying " you are a little kiss ass, i don*t want anything from you. i*m not going to do anything for you ever the fuck again. you are a spoiled little brat". ok true i*m a little on the spoiled side but honestly, what the hell does that have to do with anything!? omg i wanted to knock her out...so i called my aunt candi and she brought justin and i into town...justin HATES my bitchy aunt...

×·.·´`·well before we left for school that day i packed a lot of clothes into my duffel bag...i packed my pillow too and the girly stuff i use...i had no intentions of coming back to this house...none what soever...i am so sick and tired of being the adult in a house that has 3 of them living here...it*s bullshit how i get treated the way i do in my own house...so fuck it...

×·.·´`·i had cheerleading after school from 3-4:30, and at about 3:45 my babe justin shows up...he said he came up cuz he thought i might need help carrying my duffel bag to his house...awww what a sweetheart i have!! anyway, after practice we saw his mom at the school and put my stuff in her car and then we went to subway....there had been an accident on the common and of course, justin and i were watching it while we were eating our food...haha dinner and a movie as he put it...

×·.·´`·well i spent tuesday night at justin*s...i did not want to come back home...and he didn*t want me to leave either...so we spent the night in the basement which will be his new room in about 2 days...we layed sleeping bags on the floor and cuddled...when we were lying in them trying to go to bed i mentioned that i was cold so he crawled in my sleeping bag with me and kept me warm...the rest is the rated R version....which you are probably too young to know about! *LOL*

×·.·´`·i stayed at his house last night too...which was wednesday...his mom and i had a great conversation while he was at work...she is truly a sweet lady...i love her to pieces! haha...anyway, i went to the bank shortly after my babe left for work and took out some money...then i went to brooks and got some things...i was on the porch when his mom pulled up...she needed help with these 2 bags she got at the mall...well let me tell you, they looked light but they were 25 lb. bags of bullets or something like that...all night i heard her retell the tale of how i tried to lift the bag and how i got a look on my face that was "so precious and cute". haha...

×·.·´`·this morning i stayed home from school with justin....course he has no school anymore, my hunny graduated last year. but we both had terrible colds...hehe they were fun getting tho...*wink wink*...so we took hot showers and a bubble bath and relaxed....then i drove him to work and came here....ooooh lordy!

×·.·´`·i have been back for about 1hr and 30 minutes and already i want to leave. i can*t take the atmosphere of this house anymore...i don*t like being belittled in my own house...and i hate how everyone has an opinion on what i should or shouldn*t do with my life...the ppl in this house are so two faced and hypocritical...if you think i*m going to sit here in this house and take that and listen to it, you*re out of your fucking minds!! not to mention the excessive drinking that goes on and all of the weed smoked....i am not anyone*s rag doll to throw around and ever since that one night, i have had enough...i will know on my job in a few days, and once i start working then i*m out...even before then if possible...i*m 17, nothing can be done...i can go stay with my justin and pay rent like he is....FUCK staying in this house, i*ll be broken within a week....

×·.·´`·luckily i have the best guy EVER!! he takes care of me and loves me sooo much....i never knew that i would find the person i am spending the rest of my life with when i was 15...and almost 3 yrs. later, i am the happiest i have ever been...i*ve never been more sure of anything in my life....i love you so much justin...here is to spending the rest of our lives together and to our future...xoxoxo hunny bear!!!

×·.·´`·well kiddos i*m outtie...gotta figure out how to move my stuff and all that good stuff!!

Are you NASTY or NICE?

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My life is rated R.
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[24 Sep 2003|06:53pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]
[ music | ..::*Get Low by Lil Jon and Yin Yang Twins*::.. ]

*»well it*s been awhile since i last wrote in here...well that is cuz i*ve been busy!!!! with my hunny justin, but still...it*s worth it!!!!

*»ann and charles and i went to the college fair on the 18th...we stayed there for about a half hour and then we went to the mall...i got an awesome aeropostale shirt and some sexy stuff from Victoria*s Secret...for my justin of course...then after about half of the afternoon, we came home and rented Chicago to watch...what a great movie! haha....i called my babe and he came over saturday and we went to the movies...

*»before we went to the movies, we went to the mall and to dinner....well when we got back to his house, i went into the bathroom with him while he took a shower...something happened but it*s not like you need to know *wink wink* besides, you probably already have a guess...anyway, we went to see Underworld (which by the way, is an awesome movie)...when we got there, we went into the back dark corner and he undid my belt...can*t tell you what he did next...cuz it*s personal and it*s ours...but you probably already know anyway!! hehehe....well we came home from the movie and i put on my cute lil number from victoria*s secret for him and he rubbed it cuz it*s silky and he liked the feel...then we went back into my bedroom and were laying down together on the bed....well i*m not telling you what happened...what goes on behind closed doors stays that way!! hehehe.....

*»next day i went to his house...he got a new paintball gun so him and his brother went off to shoot it for a little while and then me and him walked to subway....after we got back and i had some of my sandwich, we went for another walk and just sat up by cabot in the road talking for like an hour...it was great...then we went down into the graveyard...we were sitting down by the gate and it was pitch black...and then we started making out...hehe i love kissing him, i wouldn*t want to kiss anyone else but him...he*s my boy...well then we got the urge to do something crazy which you have no business in knowing about!! haha but if you*re one of my girls or justin, then you already know...*wink wink* pulling the graveyard shift!! haha NAUGHTY!!!

*»we went back to his house, cuddled on the couch, kissed, hugged, said our i love you*s and i went home...well he came over the next day anyway...hehe...we went to the mall and went to dinner and then back to his house for awhile....then he came over last night too and spent the night...i love being with my babe, nothing else matters to me...hehehe...i love it, it*s so incredible...this morning to wake him up, i crawled over him, leaned down and kissed him softly...and then pounced and shook the bed...it was really cute too...haha...i love waking up to him, i can*t wait to spend the rest of my life waking up to him....hehe

*»tomorrow night he*s coming over too...i can*t wait!! i*m getting out of school early and probably going to meet him for lunch...((just got off the phone with him...awww i*m in love)) anyway, then tomorrow night he is spending the night...haha ann got the new Cosmo and in there were 101 fabulous sex tips...yea, definitely trying some...hehe i*m an angel i swear

*»everyone is saying we*re going to get married...and we*ve talked about it too...yea definitely can*t wait for that day!!!

*»so cheerleading clinics have started up again...and last night was the first one...the new girls are kind of sketchy, but there are 2 that i think will definitely make it....we*ll see how it goes next tuesday and how well the rest of us get along with these girls...cuz as of right now i know of about 4 of the cheerleaders who don*t want these girls on the squad...we*ll see tho

*»well i*m out...i have an AP Bio test tomorrow and i want to get it done before justin calls me later....i love him more than life itself...i*m so happy! hehe...xoxo Justin....later dayz...

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1 *"*CoMmenTs*"

..::*mMm hot cocoa*::.. [16 Sep 2003|10:00am]
[ mood | moody ]
[ music | ..::*none*::.. ]

*»so i had this wicked bad pain in my left side sunday night when justin was here. i thought it was just a wicked bad stomach ache so i put a cold cloth over my eyes and layed down next to justin to relax...we were watching House of 1000 Corpses and i kept waking up during nasty parts...ewwwy!! haha...anyway, we went into my bed and went to sleep...

*»i woke up at least 4 times during the night cause the pain in my stomach just wouldn*t go away...and i couldn*t sleep i had a lot on my mind. so when justin woke up cause of the alarm clock and he saw me sitting up, he rubbed my back and pulled me down to him and hugged me....it still really hurt. so when he walked out to go to work, he hugged me and kissed me and told me to please feel better.....while he was at work he called me 3 times...awww i love him so much....

*»well i went to the ER last night to see what the hell was wrong with me. i was in there for about 4 hours. it was almost cool....i started to cry tho when i was in the bed there cuz i hate hospitals and cause it hurt so bad...well they came back with a diagnosis...I HAVE A URINARY TRACT INFECTION!!! OMG it hurts!!

*»they gave me some pills, and these things are huge! i had to cut them into 3 pieces to swallow them! and i took tylenol PM last night so i could sleep...hehe i slept goooooooood....the pain is sort of gone today too...thank god...

*»but justin told me i should stay home from school and talk to him...so that is what i*m doing! i love him so much....


..::*i love being in love*::.. [14 Sep 2003|10:47am]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | ..::*Why Don*t You and I by Carlos Santana*::.. ]

*»friday after school, ann, charles and i went and picked up justin and went to the mall...there was only one real reason we were heading to the mall, but of course, being the cute ass that my boy is, he bought some PS2 games and some movies...i got what i went for...cough, cough...KY warming liquid! hehe...

*»anyway, ann dropped us off at subway on her way to work and he bought us a sandwich, then we headed to his mom*s...after sitting downstairs for like 15 minutes, he said he had to go shower so i went up with him and sat in the bathroom. i was wicked pissed off at the bitches who keep saying shit to and about me and he could tell. so he made me feel better...*WINK WINK* i am definitely not telling you how...but at least there was no rug burn involved this time. but i must say, i have a new use for sinks..JKJK

*»after that, we went downstairs and he was like you should ask your gram if it*s ok if i stay over tonight....so i asked, even tho i knew it would be ok...he*s allowed to sleep over whenever he wants...which is a lot...hehe...so he came out and we curled up on the bed to watch The Hunted but the babe kept drifting off to sleep so we went into my bed and went to sleep....awww...

*»the next morning at like 5, i got up with him to see him off to work...i always do. it was sweet. we were laying in bed, and the song "Angel" by Shaggy came on and when it did he started to rub my back. it was one of those sweet moments...anyway, we went out...hugged, kissed *a lot* said our i love you*s and he went to work...

*»ann came out and we went and did some senior pictures...yay!

*»justin came back over last night too...this is seriously like his home away from home...we went into town to see if his brother was home so we could rent movies cuz i didn*t feel like going to the movies last night but he wasn*t so we went to the pizza place instead. it was kinda funny tho...before we went there, we stopped at the bank. and justin was like ugh, do you see who is on the common? and i knew it was that bitch that i hate and some other ppl and i was like yea. so he goes i think i have this urge to go to work real quick. he wanted to drive around and make sure they saw us together...so as we were turning the car he yelled out FAGS. it was awesome...then we drove by them again and i fucking glared at that bitch...he knew i did, too. he was like what a bunch of fucking losers.

*»so we went into the pizzaria and he was like i want to sit right here in the window so they can see us. then 3 of them were walking up central street. i like jackie, so there were only two that i don*t like...and he goes, Yea that*s right...keep right on walking you nasty bitches. i was like hun, i thought they were your friends. he goes they used to be but not anymore....HAHAHAHA fuckers...

*»then we went and got blizzards and ben and jerry*s and came home...he fell asleep watching tv so i got him off the couch and into my bed...i love that kid more than anything in this world!! at 5, the alarm went off and he got up for work...it was so cute! he got out of the shower and came in and goes to me, Babe i need your help but i*ll have to turn the light on. so i put his sweatshirt over my head and said ok. he sat on the floor, put his foot on the bed and goes is there a mark or something on my foot? poor guy has a splinter! it was so cute tho how he asked me!! aaah, i love him...

*»then i walked him out to the living room and we stood there huggging and kissing for about 10 mins. then i walked him on the porch and did it again! hehe...awww he kept saying he loved me. it was sweet...can*t wait for him to get home so i can talk to him...i love him lots!! hehehe...


..::*take me away*::.. [09 Sep 2003|09:52pm]
[ mood | mellow ]
[ music | ..::*Take Me Away by Fefe Dobson*::.. ]

*»so today was an ok day...after school i went to ann*s house....i called home around 4:!5 p.m. and my gram told me that justin had barely called and he told her to tell me he loved me and missed me and to give me a hug and a kiss for him until he got back and could do it. i was upset cuz i missed his call...

*»about a half hour after i got home, justin called back!!! he said he knew he had to get ahold of me before he left NY...awww cute! he said he was hoping he could talk to me....it was so sweet, he definitely made my day...i love my papa bear soo much!!

*»ok so i had this away message up saying how i loved justin and how "i hate freshmen who think they are hot shit because my man talks to them." i also said that they are losers...ok, i*m entitled to my own opinion. if you don*t like it, too fucking bad for you...don*t check my info. well this one person ims me and tells me i*m a god damn bitch and self absorbed and to get over myself...that was almost cool, too considering this person is one of the freshmen who i don*t like...but i haven*t said ANYTHING to her...but she just assumes that this is about her...even tho it could have been about other ppl, and she goes fucking postal on me. they sit there and talk trash about me and i take it...but when you can say things about my hunny and me and fucking run your mouth about me, then you should know i*m going to get a little fucking pissed off...HELLO!? you*re a freshmen, i don*t care if you like me or not...your like vapor...and usually i*m not a bitch, but if you sit there and run your mouth to me, then yea i have a perfectly good reason to be one...so don*t sit there, trash talk me and then whine when i stick up for myself...that is just too cool for words....if you kept your mouth shut and stayed out of things that don*t concern you COUGH COUGH (me and justin)...we wouldn*t have this problem!!

*»anyway, my hunny bear justin is coming home soon...he said if i was up to sign on~line...i*m planning on staying up...i*m pretty mellow tonight, as opposed to being wicked hyper as usual..hehe...

*»we are going out sometime this week!! i*m pretty psyched about that...just me and my baby...awww love...

*»well i*m out for now...let*s see how many other ppl decide to fucking diss me tonight! hmm that*s about 4 more mouths i get to disfigure when i start knocking teeth down throats...AWESOME!! *LOL* jk jk...later dayz...


.::*fruity pebbles*::.. [08 Sep 2003|09:17pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | ..::*Baby Boy by Beyonce and Sean Paul*::.. ]

*»k so today at 10 a.m, my hunny bear left for NY to take his tests for the airforce...sniff sniff....i missed him all day long and he was all i could think about....

*»everyone at school kept asking about my rug burn! and pretty much everyone who asked, knew what it was from! haha...great isn*t it?! well Mr. Powers let me work the stopwatch in PE cuz i couldn*t bend down or anything cuz it put strain on my back...hey, it was fun while it was happening!!

*»i went to barre with ann tonight...we went to McDonald*s and KFC and then to the hospital to visit her man....then we decided to kill time at the mall...HAHA what the fuck, this is hot! *LOL* too funny...well, we spent awhile there and i got some pretty cute earrings...for free..hahahaha

*»when we got back here, ann hung around til about 8:45 p.m....a few minutes after she left, the phone rang...IT WAS MY BABY, JUSTIN!! awww i was so happy to hear from my papa bear...he said he was thinking about me all day and that it was driving him crazy cuz he was in NY and i was here....awwww what a babe. i love him soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!! no one will ever know just how much tho....anyway, we said our "i love you*s" and got off the phone awhile later...i can*t wait for him to come back tomorrow night! cuz we have plans to go out soon...yayerz!! ((hehe X-FACTOR!! and oh yea...KY WARMING LIQUID!!!))

*»well i need to go to bed early tonight...need to catch up on those zzzzzz*s i*ve been missing out on! *LOL*...besides, the sooner i go to bed, the sooner i can talk to my justin...i*m so in love...awww...later dayz...


..::*Love is the greatest thing*::.. [07 Sep 2003|11:13am]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | ..::*Someday We*ll Know by Mandy Moore*::.. ]

*»friday night i spent the night at justin*s house...it was incredible! we both missed eachother soooo much and we were wicked glad to see eachother...thursday night when we were talking about it, he said this:

lookbehindyou99: just cant wait to hang out with my fav gurl
MiSsPoPuLaRiTy26: i*m ur fave girl? since when?
lookbehindyou99: since always

awww cute right?! i thought so...

*»anyway, when we got to his house, he and his brother walked down to the store to get pizza and chips and stuff...you know, good food...haha...anyway, after he made pizza, we watched The Two Towers...by the time it was over it was like 11:30 and he was tired so his brother went upstairs to bed and we stayed downstairs. i definitely was not tired so i was lying there awake...then he pulled me off the couch and cuddled me up next to him. it was so adorable. well i had had a lot of stress that had been building up over the week, so he decided he wanted to "cure" it for me...well he sort of did when we were upstairs but then we decided to move down to the basement so we wouldn*t wake his brother up. plus we didn*t want to chance him coming downstairs. so i grabbed my pillow, and we went down to the basement...this was at 1:15

*»yea it was definitely creepy at first...but then it got better. i mean, the mood down in the basement. cuz it*s so dark and gloomy like...we fixed that up real quick tho! anyway, after awhile he went upstairs to get a blanket...which was a good thing cuz now i have this HUGE rug burn on my back and he has them on his knees...yea and it definitely hurts! but who can complain?! it was fun getting it *wink wink* after a long while, we went back upstairs. when we checked the clock it was 2:50...you do the math! hehe...we were definitely exhausted....

*»i offered the couch to him so i took the floor. and while we were laying there he was like you know, we can go sleep in my mom*s bed (he was house sitting for her)...so we both went up there, crawled into bed, kissed eachother good night and went to sleep...then at about 9 his brother came in and threw pillows on our heads...so we woke up, went downstairs and spent the entire day in front of the PS2...

*»at around 5, justin put in the movie Screamers...yea that movie is definitely messed up. but it was pretty good. well for about 3 days or so, justin had been saying he was going to run me a bubble bath...so after the movie he finally talked me into it. so we went upstairs and he put a lot of bubbles and hot water into the tub and lit candles and turned off the lights...i was in there for a few minutes just soaking it all up...and then he came in with me...aww it was sweet. he pulled me back to him and kissed my forehead. it was adorable and romantic..hehe...after the bath, we needed to rinse off the bubbles so on came the cold water in the shower! it felt good after the hot water from the bath...so we had some fun in the shower and then got out and had some fun in the dark...*LOL* i*m not going to tell you what we did, although i*m sure you already know by now...*wink wink*...then we went back downstairs

*»we went outside in his backyard and were playing around under the stars...he gave me a piggyback back into the house...it was cute...my aunt came around 9:15 to bring me home, and justin and i took about an hour to say goodbye! *LOL* we always do tho, it sucks when one of us has to leave...so we gave eachother hugs and about a million kisses...said our "i love you*s" then left...but i*m going back today to get our kitten so i can see him again...yay! *LOL* yea i*m the mother of this kitten and he*s the father...cute right?!

*»anyway, i got homework to do...lucky me...but hey, it*s senior year so that is DEFINITELY a plus! i love my blue eyed hunny bear....hehe...xoxo...later dayz...


..::*tranquil tropics*::.. [03 Sep 2003|06:13pm]
[ mood | blah ]
[ music | ..::*It*s Gonna Be Love by Mandy Moore*::.. ]

*»i just wanna say that most of the subjects in here, are the scents of my body sprays...hehehe, clever little blonde aren*t i?!

*»so the past 2 days have been.....stressful. justin and brittany got into this huge argument on~line and it had to do with me and justin...she was trying to tell him to leave me alone while he was telling her to fuck off. it was fricken the greatest i must say... he was telling her to quit trying to sleep with other ppl*s boys (cuz he*s my boy) and to quit trying to live my life...and she was telling him to stop hurting me and all this other crap...and i was caught dead in the middle. i hate when that happens, you know? because it*s so hard...and that is how all my stress got to me!!

*»i have french homework to do, but this little kitten of mine and justin*s just won*t remove herself from it...she looks so precious sleeping on it, i don*t want to disturb her!! but i really have to study for my quiz tomorrow...

*»so i am sick and tired of this stupid ass freshmen giving me these dirty looks everytime i see her in the hall...she sits there and says i give her dirty looks...fucking yea right...she glares at me if i even look in her general direction. it*s pretty awesome actually...it*s pretty cool how some people rock...

*»i can*t wait for this weekend...i*m pretty excited. i could tell you why, but why should i?! hehe...

*»college fair is coming up. i was talking to korrow and he said that there is a bus taking all the kids up who want to go cuz last year*s seniors ruined it for us. so me and ann and the ppl riding with us are gonna call in sick and just drive up...there is no way i*m riding a bus up...too much of a headache...besides, ann*s van is way more fun to ride in!!! haha...but watch out for that back window, it*s not tinted ((i would know this))

*»well i*m gonna attempt to study for french and read for bio...this is only because blue eyes is watching a movie at the moment...xoxo...later dayz!

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