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ALLiE

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[07 Feb 2004|10:32pm]
random update.

did something corporate break up??? does anyone know? any comments would totally be appreciated

ARMOR FOR SLEEP KICKS MAJOR BUTT

i bought the britney spears cd. the new one. i really am a loser but i really like it haha its different then all her other stuff..

i have a tummy ache :o\

tonight was fun. we rented porn... well it was all andrea. and we really didnt mean to haha

im shaking.

goodnight.
8 shooting stars|destroyed us all

[07 Feb 2004|12:44pm]
thanks for the comments everyone :)

since that entry my friend actually apologized. she told me she wanted things to go back to the way they used to be and that she was truly sorry, even if i didnt believe her. i guess she just wanted a second chance and she sounded sincere so i told her it was ok i was just still upset and im just scared of getting screwed over again. we might hangout tonight. i guess its a little step.. i really do hope everything works out though :o\

well i talked to sarah last night. she always knows what to say when somethings wrong. she made me feel alot better. i just wish i didnt live in guam. oh well.

friendlys tonight! buffalo chickennn dude ive been craving it.. oh man.

nothing else left to say. i had fun last night with kristin n will. its different then my usual group and there so nice and i just love hanging out with them so that was definitely cool.

okay well i wanna go somewhere. shopping maybe? back to the mall, my second home.

7 shooting stars|destroyed us all

[06 Feb 2004|02:02pm]
wow can you say drama? the last few days sucked. you know how me and my best friend of mm 10 years just started losing our friendship? well after an apology from her and a promise that she was going to invite me more places.. they once again left me out of their stupid 'girls night out.' so i got mad and i called her and i cried and i told her everything ive ever been feeling about us spreading apart and i told her i feel like we're not friends anymore and i cried hysterically and i got no response and a nice little click from her hanging up. that was fun. really. so now i hear shes really upset about it all but ya know what am i supposed to do about it? ive tried. ive been trying for god knows how long and maybe its JUST getting through to her but im JUST about done trying. actually i am done trying. whatever so there goes a nice 10 year friendship. it really hasn't been so hard for me i mean ive cried alot but i guess i'm not more upset because right now i just dont even feel like the fight we got in was real. i feel like it was just totally pretend and that we're still friends and for some reason i expect things to work out when if you think about it.. its doubtful that they will. i guess im living in a dream world..

tonights the senior variety show. theres something to look forward to.

hes been acting so.. attached lately. not attached just very open and very flirty. and because of this im getting very open and im beginning to feel things i shouldnt be feeling. so lets just keep telling myself he doesnt mean anything hes saying and he says it to every girl and i shouldnt feel special. even tho i do. and even tho he doesnt say it to every girl. its just the 'meaning what you say' thing that kinda idk i can't figure out if he does.

.say.it.like.you.mean.it.

ive been being nicer to the other kid lately. it makes me feel better about myself. hopefully what happened last time wont happen again this time because i hated feeling like i couldnt talk to him because i might lead him on. whateverrrrr.

ive been writing really long entries lately.

valentines day is coming up and i am still alone. well not alone. im kind of happy not having a boyfriend though. i have enough going on right now and sometimes i just feel like "love is an excuse to get hurt" <-- straight from sarah dears old school profile. so me and andrea decided to hangout on valentines day. because neither of us have boyfriends. we'll just eat cake and get fat.. thats better then any boyfriend am i right? haha

sorry for the long entries.
13 shooting stars|destroyed us all

[03 Feb 2004|08:34pm]
I dont expect people to read all this but...

Today was so not the greatest day. Do you ever have that feeling where you just know something bad is going to happen.. like you know you can just feel it? Well yeah that was pretty much my feeling all day. Then the other half of the day I spent whining, "HE HATES MEEEEEE." [which he doesnt by the way because he gave me a <3 when we were talking online. ITS A MIRACLEEEEEEEEE]

I got some good news.. which I thought was good news but now im not too sure about it and I actually feel miserable about it now. How many times did i say 'it'? Weird how good news turns into worst news ever.

Yeah so then I come home from practice.. my 'friend' has an away message on this screen name that she thinks i dont know and it says 'leave some kiddies.' <-- doesnt that imply alot of people know her screen name? but noo! she must have FORGOT to tell her 'BEST FRIEND.' I decided to just ignore some of the things she does because maybe she has a reason to do it and if i got mad at her everytime I found something out I'd be spending every day miserable whining and crying hysterically. so I just dont care anymore.

Friday I'm going to the senior variety show with Kristin. It made me kinda happy that she asked just because I feel like I have other friends out of my 'usual group' ya kno? And she's really fun to hangout with. Last time we hungout she drove me to krispy kreme hah cheerss!

Anywho, ONE TREE HILL is on!!!! well in fifteen minutes.

ps: EVERWOOD omg i fall more and more in love with that show every day.
pps: everyone likes the song toxic now. what did i tell you all ;) hahh
ppps: i'm listening to alanis morisette. is that like outrageously old or what.
pppps: the end. hah just wanted to write that!
8 shooting stars|destroyed us all

[02 Feb 2004|04:32pm]
the burnt smore i made and the dying duck on my front lawn pretty much explains how my day went.
4 shooting stars|destroyed us all

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