choke me's Blurty
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in choke me's Blurty:

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    Thursday, June 17th, 2004
    1:12 pm
    i just need to remember this.
    dearest thomas and i had an incredibly stupid conversation today.

    LakeOfFire09 (11:38:35 AM): ;0
    xsingxchildrenx (11:40:18 AM): that reminds me of a pokemon or something.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:40:34 AM): lol :P
    LakeOfFire09 (11:40:37 AM): no
    LakeOfFire09 (11:40:41 AM): i hate that show
    xsingxchildrenx (11:40:48 AM): i do too.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:41:03 AM): u know i always wondered something about that show
    xsingxchildrenx (11:41:10 AM): what?
    LakeOfFire09 (11:41:36 AM): they eat meat the ppl so does that mean the ppl eat pokemon and do pokemon eat other pokemon
    xsingxchildrenx (11:41:51 AM): hmmm... that is a good question.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:42:03 AM): i mean.. the pokemon would be considered animals i guess.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:42:25 AM): ya but u never see em kill em and nothing dies
    xsingxchildrenx (11:42:59 AM): maybe that's what happens when they capture them, and you never see them again.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:43:08 AM): they actually take them home and eat them.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:43:15 AM): or feed them to the other ones.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:43:20 AM): but only at night.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:43:22 AM): so you can't see it.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:43:30 AM): lol
    xsingxchildrenx (11:43:32 AM): it's like a sacrifice!
    xsingxchildrenx (11:43:40 AM): that show is so evil!
    LakeOfFire09 (11:43:41 AM): lol
    LakeOfFire09 (11:43:45 AM): ya
    xsingxchildrenx (11:44:00 AM): man.. those kids are all in a cult...
    LakeOfFire09 (11:44:11 AM): yup, always happy
    xsingxchildrenx (11:44:19 AM): psh.. i see how it works now.,
    LakeOfFire09 (11:44:26 AM): drugs
    xsingxchildrenx (11:44:31 AM): yep.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:44:31 AM): man.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:44:35 AM): we should sue.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:44:38 AM): lol
    LakeOfFire09 (11:44:53 AM): would that yellow rat thing be dead by now like dog years or something
    xsingxchildrenx (11:45:05 AM): lol
    xsingxchildrenx (11:45:14 AM): it probably did die.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:45:17 AM): they just replaced it.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:45:20 AM): lol
    xsingxchildrenx (11:46:02 AM): but i don't know.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:46:12 AM): if they were real, i'd probably have one.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:46:21 AM): i'd make it so violent.. it would be my attack.. thing.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:46:22 AM): lol me too
    xsingxchildrenx (11:46:39 AM): my pokemon would totally kick your pokemon's ass.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:46:46 AM): i get the big fire ones
    xsingxchildrenx (11:47:29 AM): mine would end up being stupid or something..
    xsingxchildrenx (11:47:33 AM): like.. it wouldn't have any powers.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:47:38 AM): lol i would steal yours
    xsingxchildrenx (11:48:03 AM): i would kick you in the face if you tried.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:48:14 AM): nope my pokemon would protect me
    xsingxchildrenx (11:48:38 AM): no, no.. i would have a secret love affair with it.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:48:53 AM): lol i have u arrested
    LakeOfFire09 (11:49:06 AM): pokality
    xsingxchildrenx (11:49:10 AM): hahaha
    LakeOfFire09 (11:49:34 AM): lol
    xsingxchildrenx (11:50:02 AM): i'd take you down with me.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:50:09 AM): i'd say that you stole your pokemone.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:50:14 AM): *pokemon
    xsingxchildrenx (11:50:22 AM): and that you molest it.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:50:25 AM): so i be a member of the evil team
    xsingxchildrenx (11:50:25 AM): and beat it.
    xsingxchildrenx (11:50:56 AM): well.. then you'd like die every time.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:51:12 AM): lol they arent dead
    xsingxchildrenx (11:51:46 AM): they should be.
    LakeOfFire09 (11:51:51 AM): nope
    LakeOfFire09 (11:51:57 AM): bad ppl dont die :-P
    xsingxchildrenx (11:52:03 AM): yeeah..
    xsingxchildrenx (11:52:05 AM): but..
    LakeOfFire09 (11:52:14 AM): but
    xsingxchildrenx (11:52:20 AM): i forget what i was going to say..

    and you can't forget:
    xsingxchildrenx (11:56:12 AM): hey, everybody knows the easter bunny is cooler than jesus.

    haha... i'm a retard..

    fucking steve.
    i despise him now.
    harry potter!
    BUT NO!

    Current Mood: hungry
    Current Music: afi: synesthesia
    Sunday, April 25th, 2004
    10:33 pm
    you broke it all apart
    we saw kill hannah.
    we met greg + garret.
    our pictures are going on their tour page.
    fahhh kyeah!

    chicago owns me.
    though, the tour could've sucked me off.
    it was horrible.

    i'm incredibly tired.
    i don't really feel like updating this right now.
    maybe tomorrow..
    maybe not..
    i have to go with my father to eat at the hopwood's house tomorrow.

    love me. love you.

    i am Andy Warhol, bitch.

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: kill hannah: nerve gas
    Friday, April 16th, 2004
    11:20 pm
    i feel like a fucking idiot.
    i don't know why i did that to myself.
    i promised i never would.
    once i started, i just couldn't stop.
    after the rush of emotions last night, it just felt right.
    stephanie made me promise i would never do it again.
    i told her i couldn't do that.
    i mean, i can't.
    almost twenty scars.
    i couldn't stop.
    i just sat and let the blood run down my arm.
    it was so soothing.
    but i went overboard.
    twenty is too many.
    but, being the sick person i am, i document everything in my life.

    i'm sorry..

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: dirty
    Current Music: vendetta red: ambulance chaser
    Thursday, April 15th, 2004
    3:00 pm
    i'm going to my dad's house tomorrow.
    my pants are too big.
    my aol just froze.
    i have to pee like whoa.
    i don't know whether to spell it whoa or woah.
    my socks got wet when i walked home today.
    i'm going to go to sleep after i write this.
    or.. after i eat my butterfinger.
    faaaahhhh kyeah!
    mm.. chicago is so close.
    i can't wait.
    i want to get my septum pierced, i want to badly.

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: mellow
    Current Music: system of a down: sugar
    Sunday, April 11th, 2004
    5:02 pm
    it took me all day to find my book. i need to write these in here in case something actually happens to it one day.

    this once majestic house is falling apart
    the windows, broken and boarded up
    the walls that were once bright and colored
    are now brown and dying piece by piece
    the floors hold so many of our memories
    retracing each one as i walk down the hall

    my friend, you've come a long way
    but i'm afraid our journey is over
    it once was that a burning fire couldn't tear us apart
    not for long though, because you're so far away
    i'm wishing you the best of luck
    and i'll see you at the show

    the grass is dead and wilted, walking through the back yard
    old toys still in the sandbox, where we once sat
    going down the sidewalk, i hoped for the past
    but as i reached the gate there was no turning back
    the court still stands tall from those days
    do you remember?

    did you remember


    the bodies keep falling from the sky
    into the crimson river where
    the angles hang their heads to cry
    shedding for the children who are scared
    why is this happening

    what have we done
    why won't the darkness
    leave us alone

    what did they do to deserve this pain
    that keeps them hiding all day
    and fighting for their lives out in the rain
    no matter what they say
    it will never be okay

    god stop the violence
    end the suicide
    stop this pain from coming
    help me on the inside

    the destruction of everything is so near
    the gorvernment keeps crushing your dreams
    they try to make the future so clear
    the end is coming, so it seems

    this reign of terror is coming down
    and the enraged children are still screaming
    but no one can hear the unlawful sound
    the hearts are still bleading
    but the bodies are leaving


    your stares are etching scars into my mind
    just please let me be, i'll be fine
    i can't take away your opinions of my being
    and i can't help your eyes from what they are seeing
    i don't fit into your faux fashion trend
    and i can't help the way my fingers bend

    i won't give into your stamp
    just leat me breathe
    i want to be alone
    i just want to be alone

    let me out of your binding box
    where no one has courtesy for knocks
    my intentions will remain the same
    i want to break free of this undying game
    just look past my ripped up, faded jeans
    and i will tell you that i don't know what hollister means
    to you


    save me
    i think i'm fading
    i think i've fallen off the edge
    of reality
    but what is reality
    when everything is a nonconformity
    and no one believes
    that there is hope
    but there is still hope
    in my eyes
    because i see the light
    and it's still burning bright
    so take my hand
    and we'll find the way
    to a new life
    where we can walk all day
    everything can fade to gray
    it will still be okay
    because we can paint it black
    when we get our vision back
    from the blinding bleach
    of your thoughts


    i look at your picture every day
    and as each day grows old
    you picture fades away
    you're not coming back
    to this vacated town
    no, you're not coming back
    because there is no one

    i can see you right in front of me
    but you can't look back at me
    there's nothing inside of you
    i'm non-existant to you
    but i'm not giving up

    i can see the pain
    when i look into your eyes
    my life will never be the same
    without you behind me all the way
    the dull pick can't save the pain
    no, not today
    and you can't help me
    no, not today


    hey, thanks for everything
    you've given life to my eyes
    and now you've fiven me the world
    always ther eby my side
    astray away from giving advice
    i'd give it all to keep you forever
    and a day

    please, god, don't leave me
    tell me taht you love your life
    i'll give you my eyes just so you can see
    that it would be impossible without the strife
    just believe me
    and sing to me again

    i swear i'm doing my best
    just like you did for so many years
    you'd sacrifice yourself for our lives
    i could never ask any more from you
    please, just never leave my side
    and i promise i'll buy you everything you could ever want
    and more

    i'd never do anything to hurt you
    i just don't want you to feel pain
    ever again, breathe for an eternity
    just take my life, it's more than i deserve
    you can have it forever, or just a while
    i just want to see you smile
    one last time


    when the world doesn't want you
    what do you do
    your parents don't love you
    it can't be true
    these days are getting harder
    but we'll make it through
    we'll just keep fighting
    through the black and blue
    your life is a struggle
    but you act okay
    and you'll just keep lying
    until the next day

    we are the youth of tomorrow
    we sing of sex and sorrow
    from our broken homes
    and the shattered bones
    we are tomorrow

    you keep fighting your freedom
    in your locked up room
    there's no way escaping
    this third class doom
    just stop shooting those bleak drugs
    and wash off the blood stains
    just go on outside
    and scream insanity in the rain
    break down the door
    of your abuse and violence
    and come save us from this

    Current Mood: melancholy
    Current Music: modest mouse: sleep walking
    Wednesday, April 7th, 2004
    3:09 pm
    is anyone here alive?
    i knew today was going to be a bad day.

    last night i woke up at 12:30 because i felt something running down my nose. suprise, suprise, it was blood.
    i quickly put my hand under the downfall of blood as i ran to turn on my light.
    i sat there letting it all drain until 1:00.
    my garbage can was filled with bloody tissues, kleenexes (oh, fuck me if i spelled that wrong. i don't care) if you please.
    i had to go into the bathroom to wash everything off of my hands.
    i fucking love nosebleeds.

    i woke up this morning.
    i took a shower.
    i missed the bus.
    i waited for my mom to get up to tell her to take me to school.
    she flipped.
    not cool.
    librarian wasn't in school today.
    didn't get my notecards turned in.
    that means my A turned into a C in english.
    took my test on the martian chronicles.
    passed with flying colors.
    the smelly girl sat next to me on the bus.
    i recieved a card from ray sr.
    he sent me $20 for easter.
    i love having a grandfather.
    even though he's not my grandfather.
    i love having an old man around to give me money.
    my mom got my chicago paper notarized.
    i need to turn that bitch in like WHOA.
    it was due like.. last week or something.

    i'm bored.
    i have money.
    i need to do something.

    saaaave meeee

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: mischievous
    Current Music: incubus: aqueous transmission
    Monday, April 5th, 2004
    6:30 am
    living in your letters
    it's early.
    i woke up last night, i don't even know what time it was, i thought i was going to die.
    i felt like i was going to throw up for hours, but i didn't. nothing at all.
    i almost passed out while i was walking back to my bed.
    i was just lying there, facing the completely opposite side, trying not to let myself pass out because i knew i wouldn't wake up in time for school.
    i finally got out of my dizzy spell, situated myself, and tried to go back to sleep.
    i'm feeling a little better this morning, but still not so well.

    OH. i didn't write about this. i thought i did, but i guess it didn't save.

    i can recall a conversation stephanie and i had. it was about jr. prom and whatnot. she pissed me off.
    s: so andy was there?
    l: yeah.
    s: what do you think of him?
    l: i think he's quite gorgeous.
    s: so you like him?
    l: i didn't say that.
    s: but you do.
    l: i don't think so. i don't want to.
    s: sure.

    SO, stephanie told nick, and i guess nick told andy.
    what the fuck.
    i never said i liked him.
    i think he's a cool kid and all, but i don't like to like people.
    if i did, i most definately would like him becuase, of the times i've actually been around him, he's deck as fuck.
    i always get fucked over in the end.
    i don't like when that happens.
    i don't know.
    that just really made me mad, i mean, she's supposed to be my "best friend", and she goes and does something stupid like that.
    even if i did say that i liked him, why the hell would she go and tell other people?

    i'm not in a good mood.
    oh, and fuck aim.

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: sick
    Current Music: quench: everything i want
    Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
    10:13 pm
    everybody's doing the fish. yeah yeah yeah.
    it's time to update this shiz for rizzle.

    i just realized that easter is coming up. i don't want to go to my dad's house. i don't want to tell him that i'm a vegetarian. i know he wouldn't accept it. he's like the fucking ted nugent of fayette county. he understood the whole "i can't really eat anything besides chicken because it makes me sick." ordeal, but this is just like.. cutting everything out. i don't know. i just need to suck it up.
    i'm so sick of fayette county. i hate the people here. i can basically count my friends on one hand. i've been talking to all of these kids online, and they are all so incredibly amazing. i want people like that around here. i just want to get away from this hellstricken town, infested with stupidity.
    i hate the kids at AG as well. i was walking back from the art room one day and some kid had the nerve to compliment me.
    some random kid in the hall: you're shirt is really cool
    kid: i'm being serious
    me: fuck off *keep walking*
    i was wearing my red rancid shirt. i'm sorry. i don't like rancid quite as much as i did before. they've somewhat sold out. i still like them though. BUT if you didn't know them at least two years ago, you don't have permission to compliment my shirt, fucker.
    whatever. i'm just not in that good of a mood.
    i'm getting even more sick.
    i wish it would just go away already.
    fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: envious
    Current Music: noise ratchet: away to the heart
    Sunday, March 28th, 2004
    8:43 pm

    i just want to see if this works.
    if it does, i'm adding some peeektures up in hurrr.

    Current Mood: silly
    Current Music: sugarcult: memory (acoustic)
    Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
    6:42 pm
    you need to die
    ray brought marcus home today.
    i hate ray. i hope he dies. he is the one person in the world i think desersves it.
    "don't touch my hair, don't touch my face, don't touch me, don't look at me, don't talk to me. leave. if you leave, chloe will stop barking. don't tell me she likes you, if she likes you she wouldn't bark. i hate you. you're not my father, you will never be my father. i don't care what opinion you have of me. it doesn't matter. i don't care what you think of my hair, it's not going to change. you need to leave. goodbye."
    that is what i told him when he started bitching to me.
    i hate that man.
    i don't know what else to put in here at the moment.
    i'm too fucking frustrated.
    i hope he wrecks.

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: pissed off
    Current Music: dropkick murphys: spicy mchaggis jig
    Monday, March 22nd, 2004
    6:43 am
    i did this last night.
    Name: liz
    Birthdate: 02/21/1988
    Birthplace: Morgantown, WV
    Current location: Masontown, PA
    Eyes: brownish
    Hair: black and red
    Height: 5'3 or so
    Righty or Lefty: mc'righty
    Zodiac Sign: pisces
    Your heritage: scots-irish, english, german, and italian
    Your weakness: music
    Your shoes you wore today: red chucks
    Your fears: spiders, drowning, just.. getting hurt a lot..
    Your perfect pizza: cheese
    Goal you'd like to achieve: becoming a rockstar. mmhm.
    Your thoughts first waking up: "i don't want to go to school."
    Your best physical feature: is hair a physical feature? sure.
    Your bedtime: whenever
    Your most missed memory: um.. anything that has been extremely fun
    Pepsi or Coke: pepsi i suppose.. though.. i can't tell the difference
    McDonald's or Burger King: ick.. but.. mcdonalds..
    Single or group dates: whichever.. i don't go on dates
    Adidas or Nike: adidas
    Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton
    Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
    Cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino
    Smoke: no
    Cuss: yes
    Sing: yes
    Take showers daily: i try
    Have a crush: yes
    Think you've been in love: no
    Want to go college: yes
    Want to get married: possibly
    Believe in yourself: sometimes
    Get motion sickness: no
    Think you're attractive: sometimes
    Think you're a health freak: not really
    Get along with your parents: somewhat
    Like thunderstorms: yes
    Play an instrument: yes
    Layer.six - in the past months
    Gone to the mall: yes
    Eaten an entire box of Oreos: i don't like oreos
    Eaten sushi: nor i don't like sushi
    Been on stage: yes
    Gone skating: no
    Made homemade cookies: yes
    Gone skinny dipping: no
    Dyed your hair: i've never dyed my hurrr.. pfft.. loser
    Stolen anything: no - ever..
    Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: i guess
    Been called a tease: possibly
    Got beaten up: no
    Age you hope to be married: ehh.. mid twenties
    Number and name of children: my mom said if i ever have a kid, it's name will be chang.. lol
    Dream wedding: dark and somewhere unique
    How do you want to die: whichever is least painful
    Where do you want to attend college: nyu, seattle, san francisco, ..somewhere in pittsburgh..
    Dream job: something with music
    Country you want to visit: england
    Layer.nine - In a guy/girl...
    Best eye color: green.. i suppose..
    Best hair color: black, or something unnatural
    Short or long hair: shaggish
    Height: taller than me
    Best weight: skinnyish
    Best clothing: anthing
    Best first date location: i don't know.. a show?
    Best first kiss location: your mom?
    Number of drugs taken illegally: :\
    Number of people I could trust with my life: fuck that
    Number of CDs that I own: haha.. NO! that's too too too much work
    Number of piercings: only seven.. and they're on my ears... no no no! my lip is still open! SCORE!
    Number of tattoos: one
    Number of times my name's been in the news: dunno
    Number of scars on my body: many
    Number of things in my past that I regret.: feh..

    Current Music: weezer: smile
    6:27 am
    she's a knockout
    pish posh. i'm not going to school today. my stomach hurts.. and nobody will be in my house until tuesday.
    i haven't updated in quite some time.

    let's see...
    junior prom was on friday. after being pissed at that fucking pirate, i finally left with my mother at like.. 10:30. we went into town to buy hairspray, and then i came back and started to get ready. my hair looked like hell. i hated it. elle came to get me at about 5, and then we went to go get dave. we ended up at elle's house, waiting for andy to arrive. he came, and then we left. the ride there was quite uncomfortable.. i sat between andy and dave. yes, quiiite uncomfortable. about two minutes after getting inside we all wanted to leave. we waited in line for about an hour and then sat down at the table. uncomfortable.. we stayed until 8. teehee. and then went to eat 'n' park. THAT was the most fun i had that day. it was great. we waited outside for a bit for brandy to come. it was cold, and i kicked my foot and my shoe flew off at elle.. hm.. she stole it.. my sock type things got dirty. *sigh* i went to my house to change, and then we went to elle's house for the night. kerri came after a bit. we took some pictures. lol. that was the end of that. ..haha.. i forgot.. elle, andy, and i also walked around the mall in our prom attire. mmhm.

    on saturday, i found out that my lip wasn't closed. i thought that was bitchin'... except for the fact that i don't have any of the balls for my rings. rawr. elle called me after awhile and we headed out to the mall. we talked to kenneth about his lesbian girlfriends and i taped elle dancing to.. i think it was the power puff girls. heck yeah! we went to the dollar store and i took dollar store whore pictures. ummm... we stalked tim.. shh. my day was ruined when i saw the dirty dirty girl. bleh. i don't remember too much from that day.. uhh.. i uploaded a lot of pictures.. hmm.. i fell asleep rather early..

    on sunday, i woke up at like.. 12.. sara came over at about 1 and woke aaron up. she left, he got up and told me that we were going over our father's house. hooray.. we left at about 2 and talked about the stupid things we always do. i miss that stuff. lol. we stayed there for about 15 minutes. he lost his phone in the invisible boat mobile. haha.. we called it 8 times before i found it. good times.. he left. i was sad. *sigh* but he'll be home in may.. or so he says...

    my mother left this morning for altoona. she won't be home until tuesday. i have nothing else to write.

    we saw a sign on a church thing that said "give pessimists a kick in the cant's" ...and we thought it said "give pessimists a kick in the cunt" hahaha.. oh.. jebus..

    what is that? phantom planet? from when? 1997! FUCK ALL OF YOU NEW SCHOOL PHANTOM PLANET KIDS! muahahahaha

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: envious
    Current Music: the offspring: bad habit
    Sunday, March 14th, 2004
    3:07 pm
    let's get married
    i'm so bored. i've been on the dilly and ftj all weekend. it has been my only way of communication, besides msn, which rarely lets me sign on.

    i stole this from elle.

    [Spell your first name back wards]: yeldir htebazile
    [The story behind your msn name]: i love the ataris to death, and nerd rock reminds me of myself.
    [Where do you live]: a hick town.
    [3 words that sum you up]: ridley, weird, passionate(the word used by my teachers)


    [Wallet]: social distortion.
    [Hairbrush]: i don't own a brush..
    [Jewelry worn daily]: earrings, hemp necklace, hemp bracelet, benji bracelet, jelly bracelets, bead bracelet, earrings, green/yellow/blue bracelet.
    [Pillow cover]: at dad's: stars and moon. moms: orange, on aaron's: penguins
    [Shoes]: numerous chucks, boots, volatiles, two pairs of roxy sandals, blue/white etnies, julius star sandals, greenish sandals, orange sauconys.. those are the only shoes i have under my bed..
    [CD in stereo right now]: something corporate: north
    [Piercing]: ears...
    [What you are wearing now]: rancid shirt, stupid zipper dickies.
    [Hair]: wet.
    [In my mouth]: sunkist orange soda.
    [In my head]: people...
    [After this]: i'll sit around and be uberly bored.
    [Talking to]: no one.
    [Eating]: nothing.
    [Some of your favourite movies]: trainspotting, nmbc, sid and nancy, all of the night of the living dead type movies, rocky horror, vincent, the yellow submarine, monty python: in search of the holy grail, monty python: the life of brian, the jerk, boondock saints, the ataris dvd!
    [Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month]: not sure..
    [The last thing you ate?]: a chocolate mint thing.
    [Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: i've always been terrified of something scratching my eyes. i used to be so afraid of it when i was little.
    [Do you like candles]: yep.
    [Do you believe in love]: sure.
    [Do you believe in soul mates]: possibly.
    [Do you believe in love at first sight]: sure.
    [Do you believe in forgiveness]: it depends.
    [If you could have any animal for a pet]: a friggin' penguin!
    [What are 3 places you wouldn't mind relocating to]: new york city, seattle, chicago, pittsburgh.
    [What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: man, i could pig out on almost any food.
    [What’s something you wish you could understand better?]: why i act the way i do around people.
    [Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: aaron, zach, and a few of my cousins.

    [In the last 24 hours, have you:]

    [Cried:] no.
    [Gotten sick:] yes, that's why we didn't go to the beach.
    [Sang:] yes.
    [Eaten:] yes.
    [Felt stupid:] yeah.
    [Wanted to tell someone you loved them:] nobody in this house, but yeah.
    [Met someone new:] yes.
    [Talked to an ex:] no.
    [Missed an ex:] lord, no.
    [Talked to someone you have a crush on:] hmmm.. no.
    [Had a serious talk:] not really.
    [Hugged someone:] no.
    [Fought with your parents:] no.
    [Dreamed about someone you can't be with:] i guess you could say that.
    [Would you rather be with friends or on a date:] friends.
    [Do you like being around people:] sometimes.
    [Who have you known the longest:] all of my brothers' friends. their friends have all known my since i was like.. two...
    [Do you argue the most with:] i don't argue that much with anyone.
    [Who do you always get along with:] everybody.
    [Who has the coolest siblings:] eh.. i don't know too many siblings..
    [Who is the smartest:] elle.

    [One more question]
    [Do you like the person who sent you this?] i love elle to death, but i stole this from her.

    Current Mood: nauseated
    Current Music: kill hannah: sick boy
    Thursday, March 4th, 2004
    12:41 pm
    here's a story for the kids
    quiz time, yo.
    i'll do an actual update later. i hurt too much now.

    You are "Waste of Paint". You can be a
    very over analyzing person and you are sort of
    lost. You aren't really sure where you're going
    with your life but for now you hold some hope
    that you will indeed get to where you are
    going. Oh yeah, and that thing called
    "love", you feel it's just a game of
    chance. A game you are not good at.

    Which BRIGHT EYES song are you?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    private eye
    (from here to infirmary)

    what ALKALINE TRIO song are you?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    Why do you cry?

    brought to you by Quizilla


    Which Tim Burton's movie charcter are you?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    oh, score! i love that movie!

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: lazy
    Current Music: husker du: could you be the one
    12:41 pm
    Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results
    Sociability |||||||||||| 34%
    Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||| 46%
    Assertiveness ||||||||||||||| 42%
    Activity Level ||||||||||||||| 50%
    Excitement-Seeking ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
    Enthusiasm |||||||||||||||||| 58%
    Extroversion ||||||||||||||| 48%
    Trust ||||||||||||||| 46%
    Morality ||||||||| 30%
    Altruism ||||||||||||||| 46%
    Cooperation ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
    Modesty |||||||||||||||||| 58%
    Sympathy |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
    Friendliness |||||||||||||||||| 55%
    Confidence ||||||||||||||| 50%
    Neatness ||||||||||||||| 46%
    Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||| 58%
    Achievement ||||||||||||||| 42%
    Self-Discipline |||||||||||| 38%
    Cautiousness ||||||||||||||| 50%
    Orderliness ||||||||||||||| 47%
    Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
    Volatility ||||||||||||||| 42%
    Depression ||||||||||||||| 42%
    Self-Consciousness |||||||||||| 38%
    Impulsiveness |||||||||||||||||| 58%
    Vulnerability |||||||||||||||||| 58%
    Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||| 48%
    Imagination |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
    Artistic Interests |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%
    Introspection ||||||||||||||| 46%
    Adventurousness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
    Intellect ||||||||||||||| 50%
    Liberalism |||||||||||||||||| 58%
    Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 64%
    Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test.
    Tuesday, March 2nd, 2004
    7:04 pm
    the sun's zooming in
    maybe the cause to my depression is my music.

    brand new
    bright eyes
    death cab
    justin sane
    kind of like spitting
    open hand
    rise against
    something corporate
    straylight run
    taking back sunday
    the early november
    the juliana theory

    those are the only ones i can think of right now.
    you know i'm not going to be able to not listen to these bands, don't you?
    i love them all too much.

    remember when i sold merch for sr71, and in return got into their shows for free?
    i do.
    man, those were the days.

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: hungry
    Current Music: nofx: bob
    5:14 pm
    i will find you
    ::10. favorite shows::

    1. simpsons.
    2. futurama.
    3. family guy.
    4. rocko's modern life.
    5. angry beavers.
    6. will and grace.
    7. aqua teen hunger force.
    8. ..ehh.. i can't think of any other shows..
    9. did you notice that all but one is a cartoon?

    ::09. Things youve looked forward to::

    1. the casualties.
    2. chicago.
    3. jr. prom.
    4. warped tour.
    5. summer.
    6. any trips i may be going on over the summer.
    7. possibly going to see phantom planet..
    8. holy smack! death cab for cutie!
    9. ummm... your mom.

    ::08. Favorite foods::

    1. peanut butter.
    2. general tso's cheeekan.
    3. cheese bread.
    4. whatever the #7 is at wendy's.
    5. sun chips.
    6. enchiladas.
    7. rice.
    8. herion cookies.

    ::07.Things that annoy you::

    1. amber.
    2. my brother, matt.
    3. wet socks.
    4. uncomfortable pants.
    5. 90% of AG.
    6. avril lavigne.
    7. newschool good charlotte.

    ::06.Of your current favorite songs::

    1. death cab for cutie: tiny vessels
    2. from autumn to ashes: chloroform perfume
    3. thrice: trust
    4. the devotchkas: hip hop kids
    5. rise against: swing life away
    6. ima robot: dirty life

    ::05.Movies you could watch over and over::

    1. sid and nancy.
    2. house of 1000 corpses.
    3. the jerk.
    4. nightmare before christmas.
    5. any monty python movie.

    ::04.People you want to spend more time w/::

    1. stephanie
    2. achelle midamsky
    3. indie kid andy
    4. zach, my whore of promotion!

    ::03.Things you wear everyday::

    1. clothing
    2. earrings
    3. some type of shoes

    ::02.Things you couldnt live without::

    1. music
    2. air

    ::01.Person you couldnt live without::

    1. ME

    Current Mood: dorky
    Current Music: justin sane: never want to leave home
    6:04 am
    me and the moon
    i should be doing my hair, but i just felt like doing this first.
    someone needs to smack me upside the head and tell me to stop liking him.
    it doesn't matter how much we like eachother, it will never ever work.
    that makes me incredibly sad because i like him a lot.
    he's the only person i've actually cried over, other than my father.
    oh god. STOP IT! why? i don't want to fall for him!
    argh.. there are too many things running through my head.
    i'm going to go do my hair.
    hooray for another glorious day at AG.....

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: guilty
    Current Music: piebald: the king
    Monday, March 1st, 2004
    9:35 pm
    i remember waiting there to find nothing at all
    after hearing that i have no reason to be sad, and that i shouldn't have to feel this way, i'm still pretty bummed. he kept telling me that he wasn't mad at me, and that i don't deserve this. it didn't change the way i felt.
    today, i told my mom about how i always think of sentences in my head and punctuate them, when i get really bored. she thought it was weird, and wrong. i thought that, too. oh well. i'm a freakin' weirdo, so what else is new.
    after failing nearly all of my bio tests, i seemed to pull a B, as my 9 weeks grade, out of nowhere. he said i might be able to get an A by the time grades are do. that made me happier than you could ever imagine. if i get an A in bio, i will cry. i don't think i've ever gotten an A in any of my science classes since i went to masontown.
    elle seems really depressed. that makes me feel bad. i really want to help her out, but i don't think i can really do anything. i hate when people are sad. it always gets to me..
    i also hate to see people cry. i don't know what to do.
    i also also think stephanie and her mom deserve more than bill. sure, he has money, but he's a fucking cunt. i hate him. i just want to drown him in their ponds. horrible, but true.
    i need need need to actually finish my stun picture. bunyan came into stefancick's room today, and she asked me if i could turn her in. i told her i had been meaning to, which i really have, and she told me i didn't haaaaave to. it made me feel bad. i really did work hard on that, and i know she wanted to send it to that show. i let her down. :\ oh well...
    it seems like i can't do anything right.
    my computer is going slow. it's making me mad.
    i can't get onto aol. what a bitch.

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: distressed
    Current Music: the commercials: vince is dead
    6:19 am
    i'll blame it on being young
    last weekend was great. i can't believe ceneth got married AND is going to have a kid.
    i got out of school at 10:15. that was awesome. stephanie's mom is my hero for that one.
    i bought Die Hards by The Casualties, because i don't have any of their cd's.. i just downloaded most of their songs... BUT i left it in a bag, with my AP magazine, on stephanie's bed... that blowwwws.
    i really don't feel like updating right now, but i must.
    i think he's mad at me, and that makes me really sad. i really don't want him to be, but i couldn't appologize because after being on away for a few seconds, he got offline. i swear, he's going to make me cry again, but this time it won't be because he made me so happy. gah... i don't know..
    i feel fat right now, and i don't know why. i don't have anything to wear. this sucks.
    today is going to be horrible.
    i'm going to get ready.

    love me. love you.

    Current Mood: blank
    Current Music: from autumn to ashes: chloroform perfume
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