Never wanted to be all the things i'm sure are me's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar]
Never wanted to be all the things i'm sure are me

[ website | my livejournal ]
[ userinfo | blurty userinfo ]
[ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[15 Feb 2003|06:37pm]
[ mood | awake ]

drama free right now. tonight, going to see my friends band thezin. very first show. should be exciting.


[31 Jan 2003|08:12pm]
[ mood | horny ]

i really haven't posted that much in this in a long time. i just remembered that i had it when someone sent me an email saying that they saw me in it. it was a bitch to remember my password. but i think i'll start posting in this one more seeing as how some one else on my livejournal is able to go in and read my private entries whenever they want. i think they probably forgot about this one so it's probably safe by now.


[22 Nov 2002|08:02pm]
if someone hurt me before, should it be bluntly obvious that it would happen again?
1 arrrgh| pirate

[07 Nov 2002|02:08pm]
i was stabbed in the heart by the only person any good comes from

[03 Nov 2002|12:10pm]
[ mood | restless ]

i have a real problem with peeing latley. it's like i have to go every couple of hours. i think it's because i don't like my classes so i go to the bathroom as much as possible. and the fact that i hate the feeling of having to pee.

yesterday we had a comp. it was really weird because it was the only time ever that i had no desire to go out. even during awards i was plucking my eyebrows. we won but it wasn't really all that exciting. nothing was like it was last year. whole systems changed. it just doesn't seem exciting. i didn't want to be apart of it. sat in the corner waiting for something to happen. maybe it's my fault for not taking that extra leap when i needed to. there's so much going on then just sitting a certain place. it being there. i wanted to, but then i didn't. don't want to be their outcast so i cast myself out. without them knowing, just leave when i feel it's neccasary for me not to be there.

i went home planning to get drunk but i just feel asleep. and when i woke up was really pissed because i had made the drink and it was really yummy. it's still sitting in my room. i don't wanna waste it.

someone really pissed me off yesterday. sometimes youre just a fucking leech. a fucking friendship whore. you just wanna be cool. you know what, fuck you for that. go ahead and pretend to be something your not. stop using everybody to improve your own status. they can see you for what you are. you deny it but that's just because you've never stopped to think about it. people can see more in you than what you see about yourself.


[01 Nov 2002|08:28pm]
i just lost something i had been working on. it just fucking disappered. everything is pissing me off right now. this seem to have happened two weeks ago. it's like i'm not good enough for anything. for everyone. it's like i don't have any close friends. and the ones i do arn't close enough. or turn on me sometimes. nobody ever wants to plan things with me. or just that one of my friends only does because i can get a car. the only person that i know wants to see me when they can is adam. and he's in fucking anaheim. he's the only person that doesn't have an alteriar motive to things.

today i was writting becca a letter in class. she said it would be good if i started writing stories to her in the letters. so i made up a place to escape reality. It's called Glendora, even though Glendora is a real place. this Glendora is in space. it's on a planet the size of our moon. it revolves around earth. it's spins really fast so the gravity isn't any different. there are three rotations is considered one day. so there are four hour days and four hour nights. people usually take naps during the nights but some like to stay up between.
Everyone there works as something like a waiter or a coffee shop girl. everyone has a cat that they talk to. the cats can understand but they don't talk back because they they only speak french. they listen to our problems and and they share it with other cats when we put them out at night, every four hours. they have a plan to take over Glendora but it'll never work on the count of the lack of opposible thumbs. but with there cat brains, they haven't planned that far ahead. the sun sets on every bank. the beaches are big enough so that everyone has there own beach scene without it being inturrupted. the beach is filled with non sticky sand. there are every kinda of landscapes you can think of in Glendora. And everything is picturesque. 6.623 percent of the population are photographers.
All the girls have at least one song written about then that has to do with heart break and loss. at least someone you know in Glendora is always going through a break up. People get together and get married, but you never seem to notice. Men and women are equal here but the gender roles seem to switch at time to time and men become more emo then ever. and women seem to be at a record high for being evil.
10 percent of the population is the coolest person you know. But back on earth, just living in Glendora is considered cool. Everyone in Glendora is at the height of fashion. There's always something to do and parking lots are where all the cool kids hang out. it's a lot like Europe, but with english.

I had more but my mom's forcing me to go with her to dinner. damn bitch.

[29 Oct 2002|10:39pm]
her second judgment and my own instincts conflicted. that's why i'm indecisive. quite telling me which way to go. it's not like i've never done it before. i was so close to getting my things and just leaving. i still think i want to. i sat in the bathroom and though the only thing that would make me feel better is having you back with me. i still miss you after all this time. why the hell do you have to go to bed so early without saying goodnight. i miss you. i think i'm gonna leave here. take everything. it won't help relations over here, but i can't take it. i need my room back.

[28 Oct 2002|11:31pm]
everyone i know can probably figure out who's this is. considering the user icon. maybe i should change that. i hate how my mom tries to talk to me about usless things that she doesn't even think about. She knows that i'm doing something else and not just waiting for her to speak. if i'm on the phone, she talks to me like i have two brains to comprehend what's going on on both sides. she does it when i'm on the other side of the house. and all it causes is me getting frustrated because i can't hear her and she yelling for no reason. i usually end up getting up and she's talking about her psychics. again i have been caught in the trap of listening to her. *she says you're gonna get into law*. what the fuck, i don't even like law. i break them without even thinking about it anymore. and i don't have any drive to do anything but sit on my ass and make scarves.
well if you are one of the people i know who have found this and think it's gonna be something interesting, it's not. just more bitching that you would get mad at or scroll through if it was in my regular journal. stuff that i would write R2B2 in a letter. bitching about how i hate conga lines. creating conformity, while i stand on the pedistal refusing to join in on the madness.
Millie's watching Jenny Jones, i wonder what goes on in her head while she's watching. *this is controversial. this is important. i wonder if Jason loves me. my daughter is my only friend. i can tell her anything.* well, she may be able to tell me anything, but i sure as hell can't promise that i'll be listening when she's talking. it's just annoying.

Strange facts from the mind of Mildred Buelna:
she once contemplated swallowing those little diosaur sponges to take up room in her stomach to help her lose weight.
1 arrrgh| pirate

[23 Oct 2002|01:35pm]
someone should put me on their friends page. i think i'm gonna start a community.
1 arrrgh| pirate

[22 Oct 2002|01:52pm]
hangovers in school. it was really bright this morning. i remembered what i said. wondered if it was a good idea. i'm still not that sure.

[22 Oct 2002|03:40am]
i apoligized to him. i reafirmed my love for you. i want to be with you.

34 siempre

[21 Oct 2002|09:39pm]
[ mood | confused ]

he's fun. i probably don't like him. strange situations. i don't know. 34. you know


[18 Oct 2002|08:37pm]
Reasons why i want to be a cute guy:

To pee standning up and make the urinal cake disolve.
Get a blow job
to see what it takes to make me get hard
to rub myself secretly against someone and see if they notice
to not have boobs
so i can see what it's like to be one of those cute gay boys
did i mention i'd want a blowjob?

[18 Oct 2002|01:58pm]
i bet all the posts on the who just posted things say *this is my first post* except this one. cause i just posted that too. fagophobia is the fear of swallowing.

[18 Oct 2002|01:54pm]
This day (actually yesterday) proclaims the day that i have finally become and early adopter in something. i'm happy. First post. I like this layout more then any of the other ones except for livejournal. this one looks a lot worming and makes me feel happy. hmm. i'm in school.

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