Lana's Blurty
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Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in Lana's Blurty:

    Monday, September 29th, 2003
    8:44 pm
    Hey hey heyyyy there buddy!! Yeah so I haven't written in here in a pretty damn long time, but now my dad got us a new laptop since our computer's being stupid and broken. :) I missed chatting online. Yeah so ne way, alot's happened over the summer I guess.
    Saturday, May 3rd, 2003
    9:55 pm
    Okay so... nothing really exciting really has happened except... saturday night... me and Nora went to see Good Charlotte at the PNC Bank Arts Center, it was fun. Other bands played one I don't know the name of, then Less than Jake, and New Found Glory played last after GC. I had a better time last year seeing GC at Asbury Park, that was definitely alot more fun cuz we were sooo damn close to them, I was up on front row and only 1 or 2 ppl were in front of me. This time I was all the way on the lawn!! Which sucked cuz we were so damn far but it was still fun. Anyways I don't know what else to say so that's it for now, peace.

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: none none none
    Sunday, April 27th, 2003
    8:30 pm
    Weekend Summary
    Well Well Well.... last week was definitely a great week. I'll start talking bout my weekend, Friday I had dance practice and Tambi came to watch =) It was nice of him and I totally appreciate him coming, I like having someone I care about watch me dance. After that me, him, Clara, Danny T., Eyad, Yara and a guy named Basil went out and I wore a real cool outfit which I got compliments on saying I looked like a popstar and stuff. What I hated though was that ppl said I looked like JLO, eeww no way, Tania said from the back JLO and front Britney, whatever though. Her mom busted on my new pink sandals, but I love them so whatever. So yea we all went out and we had a pretty good time, the food was good and I got to hang out with Tambi so I liked that, for sure ;) Saturday afternoon me, Nora, Dina and Tambi went to the mall to look for a dress for the 3 of us for Tambi's sister's wedding, but we had no luck with that. I dropped him off at his Aunt's and his sister was right there and I felt like I looked horrible so I didn't want to say hi and I left. Then Tambi called me and said I forgot my wallet with him so I had to go back and get it. His mom and sister were staring out the door at us, it was so embarassing and I was bout to get out the car to say hi to them but they went in the house and I was like yea that's good cuz I look bad. Later on that day me and Nala got into a HUGE fight, and we haven't fought in a damn while so I got all sensitive and emotional and started crying, Dina tried to comfort me a little, but it didn't work. Then Tambi called and he noticed I was crying he calmed me down a bit. So ne wayz, on a lighter note... me and Nora went to Clara's sa7ra which was fun except for when I ate too much hott pepper sauce and almost threw up that nasty crap cuz it tasted so bad and it burneedddd like crazyyy!! The guys warned me not to eat it or at least not put so much, but I'm way too stubborn to listen and i did ne way, my bad. Tambi was soo sweet he took care of me, he told me what to do to feel better. He said to stop drinking coke cuz it makes it worse then told me to eat ice, then he got me a cup of milk and made me drink it cuz he said it helps alot. Whatta sweetheart =) Okay so now on sunday... I went to the mall to look for a dress so I went to Bloomingdale's and brought Yamiz and Aslan with me to help me out. They did a good job at that, I found 2 dresses... a blue and a white both by Rampage. I went tanning, then Clara's to get help from her, Sina, Nour, and Clare's mom... they chose the blue cuz the bride wears white. I looked for white shoes to wear with my dress but that was impossible. My sisters, Liza and I thought the wedding started at 7 or 8, but we were wrong Tambi said 6:30. So we rusheddd like crazy. We got there late though... at like 7:40. The wedding was sooo nice, the best place ever. Just gorgeous. Tambi's family is soo damn nice. I really like them. Me and Tambi danced kafa together, which was real cute, yet embarassing cuz I didn't know what I was doing. He did the diagnol one that I don't know the steps to. So after the 2nd time of switching places, in the cente... I said, "end it!! end it nowww!!!" and he did, Thank God. I just followed his feet cuz I didn't know what to do. Marina said we look perfect together, every1 else seems to think that too. Nala loves him, so do ALL of my friends and absolutely every1 who met him. He's the best, by the way did I mention he got me a present too?? hehe... he gave it to me on thursday when he came to see me at school. It was cute. So now Monday he missed his flight and I talked to him last night and I've been waiting all day for him to sign on or call me. Well... I'm gonna keep waiting... I'll update later, peace.

    Current Mood: restless
    Current Music: The White Stripes- Seven Nation Army
    Friday, April 25th, 2003
    4:03 am
    Shark Attack
    Lana, you're a Shark!

    Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types - your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Shark which means you are a Seeker / Success. Your primary sub-type is defined by "Seeker" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Success" characteristics.

    That means you've got a robust love of life and a killer instinct. Chances are you hate rules, and don't plan on getting old. You're flexible and friendly on top of being innovative and smart. In short, people respect you.

    How do we know all this? How do we know you're extroverted and love being in the spotlight? Or that your mantra is "work hard, play hard"? How could we have divined that dull parties make you weep?

    Because while you were taking the test, you answered four different types of questions — questions that measured confidence, apprehension, willingness to take risks, and your focus on experience versus appearance — the primary traits that determine your personality. Based on your responses, we determined your personality type, Shark.

    And that's just scratching the surface.


    The name of Lana creates a friendly, sociable, charming nature, but causes you to be too easily influenced by others. While you find it easy to meet and mix, and can appear agreeable and compromising in conversation, you can become dogmatic and forceful if pressed too far. Others learn that you cannot be told what to do and you seldom change your mind once it is made up. You prefer situations that allow a degree of independence, but are reluctant to take on a demanding work-load or responsibility. In a position dealing with the public, you could do well because of your friendly personality, interest in people, and desire to please. When asked, you are able to give others good advice that you would probably not follow yourself, but must guard against being too opinionated in controversial matters. The physical weaknesses due to this name centre in the fluids of the body and the senses of the head, causing headaches, eye, teeth, or severe sinus conditions; also, kidney or bladder weaknesses.
    Thursday, April 24th, 2003
    6:01 am
    I'm sooo damn excited!! Tambi's gonna come visit me today... I totally can't wait!!! It's going to be just great, I'm gonna make him help me study for my Psychology exam that I have tomorrow. Maybe we can eat breakfast together too!! How exciting. I'm so happy, I really appreciate Tammy bringing him (Thanks Tammy). I stayed up all night preparing for his visit. I cleaned my suite bathroom as best as I can, cuz it was sooo damn gross and I didn't want him to see how dirty these girls r or can be. I even cleaned the walls lol. I was on a cleaning streak. I swept the bathroom floor like twice then mopped it twice and dried it once. I cleaned the mirror I wiped the counter twice. I just didn't clean the shower or the 1 bathroom sink cuz it's too gross and I don't even know how to clean that crap. I did the dust in the bathroom and my room. I swept my dorm room floor. I would mop it but my roomie is asleep. I took a shower, then blow dried my hair. Yeah guys... I actually brushed it on a weekday. I did everything man and with all that busyness I still managed to stay online and chat too. I dunno I can never get offline, I always keep it on even if I'm doing hw, in the bathroom doing my thing (shower, etc.), watching tv, doing hw, listening to music, on the phone, eating.... u name it. Anyways, I hope I don't look horrible when Tambi gets here, cuz I feel like I do... that's why I brushed my hair then blow dried it. I figured, well my face doesn't look so great right now cuz of lack of sleep and stress so let me just try making my hair look good. Eeehhh didn't work too well but whatever. I had a real interesting conversation with Adam Ferras from Cali. Good kid. I still have some more cleaning to do, like my desk... it's a mess with papers, books, bottles.... yeah. For sure man. Anyways I should get back to my studying and cleaning. Ttyl buddies byeee =)

    You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
    your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
    he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
    that never lessens and always blows your
    partner away like the first time.

    What kind of kiss are you?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    ggrrr I'm sooo indecisive it's crazyyy.... this 1 fits too... I always fit more than 1 category it's so damn annoying

    You are a child's kiss. Completely sweet and
    innocent and pure. You mean no harm and only
    love in your sweet kisses.

    What kind of kiss are you?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    Current Mood: excited
    Current Music: White Stirpes- Dead Leaves & The Dirty Ground
    4:00 am
    yo yo yooo

    Are you Addicted to the Internet?

    43% (41% - 60%)
    You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.

    The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at!


    You surround yourself with art and music and are constantly driven to express yourself. You often daydream. You prefer honesty in your relationships and belive strongly in your personal morals.

    Find out your color at!

    I also got blue cuz i'm pretty damn indecisive and there's always more than one answer that fits me which is kinda annoying, but u know... it's all good ;)


    You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

    Find out your color at!

    Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003
    3:33 pm
    more quizzes
    shy flirt
    Shy Flirt

    What Kind of FLIRT are you?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    What Is Your Animal Personality?

    brought to you by Quizilla

    You come from Heaven. You're the purest of pure, a
    saint. You're probably an angel sent directly
    from Heaven.

    Where Did Your Soul Originate?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003
    11:55 pm
    I'm on a quiz roll

    What's your sexual appeal?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    holding hands
    hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
    contact with your special someone but you don't
    want to take things too quickly.

    What Sign of Affection Are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    Blue Eyes

    What Color Eyes Should You Have?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    11:08 pm
    yea... i'm bored, shutup
    You're Perfect ^^
    -Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
    means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
    the kind of chick that can hang out with your
    boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
    care about presents or about going to fancy
    placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
    being around your boyfriend.

    What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    okay i got both of these cuz... 2 different answers fit me

    You're the cheerful smile,the one that's truly
    happy with almost everything you do and would
    never cahnge your life.

    What Kind of Smile are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    You're unsure whether you really want to smile or
    not.You just curl your lips up at the corners a
    bit and let that get you through your day.You
    don't have all the answers,and you certainly
    don't feel like going out to look for them.Stop
    being so indecisive.

    What Kind of Smile are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla

    You are too innocent and sweet for your own good.

    Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    10:52 pm
    Full of though & stress
    hey hey heyy!! Well well... I'm just sitting here chatting with this kid Sal about school and summer. Nice kid nice kid... whatever. I'm so damn tired I keep on yawning. I called Tambi like around 6 p.m., he didn't pick up and he didn't call back either. So I think that either his battery died, he didn't hear it ring, he didn't feel like picking up, he forgot his cell at home, or i don't know. Hope he's having a good time though. I have so much crap to do, this is such a horrible, stressful week I swear I can't wait till it's over. It's funny... Tambi's here and I still don't really get to see him because I have school. It totally sucks. Everyone advises that we take advantage of the time he's here, but we can't cuz I'm at school and he can't get here. All my friends like him, they all think he's a nice guy and cute. Dina thinks he'd look better in Abercrombie clothes. Eehh she might be right since I love Abercrombie on guys, but it doesn't really matter cuz his face still looks the same. Rose said I look better with tall guys. LoL it's funny cuz he's like 6'1 and I'm 5'2 he's like a whole foot taller than me, but it's all good. Mourad thinks we'll have good looking kids. Everyone keeps complimenting him, saying he's cute, nice, quite an athlete, cool and so on and so on. It's nice that they all like him. Nala's excited about meeting him. I think she'll like him too. I wonder what he's doing now?? I know Paret and Khalid picked him up at like 2 p.m. Maybe he's still hanging out with them, who knows. I didn't get to see him today or yesterday. I only spent sunday with him, but it's not like we were alone the whole day. It was definitely cool though. Anyways, I don't know what else to say I'll update later... peace.

    discover what candy you are @

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: Trapt- Headstrong
    Sunday, April 20th, 2003
    6:04 am
    Wow this weekend has been.... well i can't think of ne words to describe it. It's been good though. There's so much to say I don't really know where to start. Right now I can't sleep. I'll tell u later but let me start talking bout Friday. So friday.... I went to the masjid for jum3a prayer with my dad, yamiz, aslan, nafen and nora as usual when we all don't have school on friday's. If not it's just me and my pops. I left the masjid though to take Ms. Dina tanning cuz I couldn't pray ne way. We got back in time for the speech though and before they began to pray Fard. So me and Dina couldn't pray so we were messing around talking to this little boy named Adam. He's soo cute!! He's my little jami3 buddy, I love that little boy. I see him all the time there and try to talk to him, but this time I had a real convo with him. We asked him how old he was and he was like, "my mommy said i'm tree" lol he can't pronounce three correctly. He's adorable. Then my little sis. mentioned how last time at the jami3 he went to the bathroom alone and the lights went out and he was screaming for his mom and his poopy smell got to the hall lol. So I was like, "remember when u did poopy in the bathroom and u yelled for ur mommy??" lol and he's like "i go bathroom at home" and i was like yea whatever. So then something smelled pretty damn bad, like fart, so i asked him, "did u fart?? awww u farteddd how cute" and he's like "no i do that at home" and everything we asked him he'd start by saying "my mommy said..." hehe. Well after that I think Dina just came over, we all chilled, I got ready for dancing, my mom took me & nora to dance practice. I saw Tania there, she came to cba finally... I was surprised for sure man. She surprised me with the patch over her eye cuz I had NO idea she was getting surgery on her stye again. lol she looked like a pirate, I told her that today.... or should I say last night since it's 6:18 a.m. sunday morning right now. Anyways the dance we learned was pretty fast, but it was "coo." Sawzer said something bout sat being like leader cuz she's hyper and would be like "COME ON GUYS LET'S DO IT" and about me talking alot and I was like hey they're the 1's who were talking not me (about tammy and susu) and I was totally joking and laughing then susu like gave me a dirty look and rolled her eyes and said, "oh what ever." I was like thinking.... take a joke, then i got violent thinking and thought.... how bout I go whatever ur face and punch u.... lol... I can't say things like that out loud or take actions cuz i'm trying to be a better person and not being mean, not thinking mean, not talking mean, not think/act violent, and be friends with everyone. It's damn hard though. I don't hate susu, sometimes I like her, sometimes I don't. I guess maybe it's like that with her towards me, I really dont' know. Oh yea, I fell while I was spinning around nurzat lol, and it was a pretty damn bad fall too. It was also embarassing cuz there were ppl watching and the Russians too!! After dancing I went downstairs and chilled with Tania, Dina, Tambe, Shan, Roza, Sarah, Natasha, Peryhan, Seenh, Nancy, and Nora of course. Tambe made fun of my hair and said it looked like a rats nest lol so I poured some water on him... then he spit water into my hair so i surprised him and poured water allll over him while he spit more water in my face & hair and then i spit a God damn water fountain of water all over his face, lol it was sooo funny and fun. But I cleaned up the mess afterwards. Then I had no ride home cuz of Nala and cuz my parents didn't wanna drive back to cba so Tambe offered to give me and my sis. a ride and after saying that i was ugly then he was like nahh u and nora r some fine as hoes haha he's crazzzyyy. Good guy though. So then I got to talk to my dude later on online which was cool. So now saturday.... Nala left the house and I woke up late like between 12-1 and I promised Dina I'd take her to the mall but Nala didn't get back home till like 4:30-5. I think she went shopping or to the lawyer or somethingggg, whatever who cares. So then I went to the tanning salon real quick & tanned for like 16 mins. cuz I wanted to look good tonight when I saw Tambi right. After that I picked up Dina and Tania as I promised I would. Oh yeah Sina was pretty much my get the hell up already wake up call lol. She wanted to hang out and she was supposed to come with us to the mall but she had to go to her Aunt's with her mom so she couldn't but said she'd keep in touch so we can chill later on that night. So, yea. So me Tania Nora and Dina got to the mall & we looked around for stuff. I showed them the hott guy that works at the sunglass store that nala knows. It's called Solstice, I think that's how u spell it, and yea he I think he definitely remembered me cuz after I made a fool outta myself by tripping or something, I forgot, he was staring and I just looked like an idiot staring back cuz I didn't know if I should wave or say hi or what, but I just turned around and kept walking while my girlies were laughing at me. (Yeahhh I trip and fall alot) While I was in the changing room at A&F trying on a new pair of white capris from A&F that I bought (they're awesome looking.... they're not the "see through, check out my butt cheeks type" they're wide legged and nonsexual lol, So they're pretty much perfect and not tight) Tambi called and said the guys were taking him to a bbq and i was like, "do u know where ur going? do u know where they're taking u? I know where ur going... they're taking u to susu's house...." and blah blah blah. Then Tania and Dina talked to him said stuff and whatever. He asked me if i was going and i said no and he asked me to go and i said no i can't. Well after that we go get food cuz we're all hungry. I called Tambi back and he said he was at the bbq and I told him to have fun and to ask the guys if they could take him to cba later on that night so we can see each other, so he said yea and we hung up. Then... Annoying little attention cravers were sitting by us talking a lot of crap and acting reallll stupid. So at first we were staring at them, but then I turned around and was like duhh they just want attention so let's not stare cuz that's what they want... let's ignore them. And I was right, cuz after that.... they left. Then we went to Macy's to find Dina's dress for Tambi's sister's wedding next sunday, but it wasn't there ne more and sina called and said she was on her way home. After that we all went to my house, on the way home was awesome cuz me and tania were bugging out dancing. We got to my house, I wet my hair and Tania helped me blow dry it and I put some eyeliner on and lipgloss, wore my new capris, pink A&F shirt, my pink purse, and my diamond SM's, nala's pink watch w/diamonds, & my silver bracelet from syria from my cuz yanal. I totally matched. So then we were on our way to pick up pretty little Sinamis, right. That's when I started getting real upset cuz I was thinking bout Tambi. I was like "what the hell, I totally know how Nour feels now when Anzor's here and she doesn't get time to see him or when the dude's or others hogg him." Like I'm his "grr" right? So I should be 1 of the first ppl to see him.... Not the entire dance group. I was like everyone got to see him already except for me and I've been looking fwd to his visit wayy longer than them and he definitely means more to me then ne 1 else at the bbq. So whatever it wasn't fair and the guys totally took him away.... & I wanted to kill some1 and I couldn't be mad at Tambi cuz it's not his fault and he's too nice to say no them so it's danny, yanal and zaid to blame!! But it's over with now. While I was saying all that to the girlies they laughed and I was like, "shutup, stop laughing i'm seriously about to cry cuz i'm so mad." but that just made them laugh even more. So we couldn't find sina's aunt's house and finally we did. We stopped by cba and Tambi still wasn't there so we decided to pass by susu's to see if her bbq was still going on and it was. I shut off the headlights cuz I didn't want ne1 to think I was being a psycho g/f but zaid and some other dude saw us. So I called tambi, his phone died out of battery so then sina said we should go in for at least 5 mins. and say hi cuz we didn't go. So we did. Tambi said hi, I talked to him for like 2 mins. then I said my goodbyes and left susu's and headed to the cba. Then... Yara came, said hi to her, adamn shoga, beela and rania. Adam's sucha nice kid and I seriously have no clue why the guys gotta have beef with him.... LEAVE ADAM ALONE!!!!! My God, they're such jerks. I don't know what the problem is but just leave him alone man. So then, Tambi finally came and we got our privacy with lots of distractions and interupptions included. But once we finally talked.... I was over the whole being mad at the guys thing. He's soo sweet & nice to me. I'd get into more detail, but... I don't want the dude's to think he's a fruit lol. Right now... I can't stop thinking about him. Like God damn.... it's 6:50 a.m.!!! I can't sleep because of him. I never thought I'd like another guy so much after my whole deal with Tamer. Tambi just totally understands me, jokes with me, compliments me, he's a gentleman, he's perfect in every way possible. I think I'm seriously falling for him. I don't think he'd ever hurt me, never. I totally trust him like 1925497% he's such a great person. It didn't hit me how much I cared about him until I saw him today. He makes me smile all the time. I honestly had doubts wayy in the beginning thinking I probably won't like him that much cuz like I don't usually give guys a chance or I'd try not to get too into a guy cuz I guess I'm afraid of break ups and afraid of being broken hearted all over again and I didn't want a relationship cuz of those fears, but I'm so glad I gave Tambi a chance. I learned alot. Just because one relationship didn't work out and 1 guy hurt me so damn bad, doesn't mean every relationship will be like that or every guy. It doesn't mean Tamer's a bad guy. It's just he's not smart lol, he doesn't realize what he lost. And Tambi knows what he gained and same with me. He feels he's so lucky to have me, but he doesn't know that I also feel so lucky for having him too. So I guess we're both lucky ;) (Thanks Anzor for saying all those great things about him cuz u really got me into giving him a chance). I'm feeling so damn fruity and Tambi's probaby sleeping!! I called his cell a few hours ago and left him a voicemail. I hope he calls back soon. I miss him more right now that he's here than I did when he was in Washington. =( Mannnn... I don't know what to do, I seriously can't sleep. I guess I'm done writing.... peace out buddy!!

    Current Mood: touched
    Current Music: Daniel Beddingfield-If ur not the 1
    Thursday, April 17th, 2003
    12:38 am
    Pain in the BUTT
    uhh yea yesterday I went to work out at the gym and I think I over did it cuz I was there for a couple of hours so now my butt is SORE!! I wish that think would melt away it's so God damn huge!!!!!!! So basically I'm in pain, my thighs r a little sore too. Oh well whatever. I'm trying to lose weight, but once I come back home.... I can't resist my mom's home cooking aaahhh I gotta get outta the house. I didn't eat till I freakin got home. She needs to stop cooking man. It was so beautiful today man, too bad I wasn't prepared for it. All I had in my drawers were sweat pants, thick jeans, and sweaters and noo sandals!! I can't live without wearing sandals or flip flops in nice warm weather. Nala and Liza picked me up from school after my sculpture class at like around 5:20 even though I told Nala that I finished at 3 today!! But of course she never comes when I tell her to. Why would she listen to me, I'm little miss junior. After they picked me up we went to the mall and omg we went into that sunglass store at Garden State Plaza and we saw a friend of my sister's and Liza's that works there. HE IS AMAZINGLY HOTT & GORGEOUS. WOW!! Adrian... nice name too, lol, chill out bambi ;) So all u girlies who read this.... if u go 2 garden.... check out the hott guy that works there he's a MAJOR TOTAL HOTTIE. I don't think I've ever seen a real hott guy like that in real life lol. Nala introduced me to him =) Well after that we went to Nala's chiropracter Dr. Nart... yeaa we don't call him by his last name, he's a major cutie and so nice, he gave me a free massage once. Anyway.... while Nala was there, me & Liza went to her house, came back & picked up Nala, stopped by dunkin so Liza can get coffee, went tanning, went back to Liza's for a bit and then back at home. Eeewww Nala made Onion Soup and it smells so gross! I'm hanging out in her room watching tv with her.... I'm pretty tired & sleepy. Hmm... I really don't know what else to talk about, I'm outtie... PEACE!!

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: Audioslave- Like a Stone
    Friday, April 11th, 2003
    1:50 am
    Although I'm satisfied and content with my looks al7amdulillah thank u Allah I'm not hideous, cuz I could look worse, there's always things I'd like to change bout my looks. Like.... Allah created me beautiful, but some x's I feel like I grew up and just made myself look bad. Like I don't know, some x's I think I look pretty or cute but u know... ppl can always look better, u know? Maybe I shouldn't care so much or think about it but I dunno. So.... with that said, here's my list of things I'd like 2 change about my physical appearance [whoa I sound a little smart ;) ]
    1. My hair... I want it to be fuller, and either blonder or darker brown
    2. My nose... I want it smaller
    3. My skin... softer, and perfectly clear w/ perfectcomplexion and skin color
    4. My body... taller & thinner
    5. My butt... SMALLER!!
    6. My eyes... bigger
    7. My teeth... whiter
    I could seriously go on and be more specific, but I don't want to. Basically... I wanna look perfect lol. Uhh yea I'm crazy, whatever. Well I am pretty, like my hair's nice my eyes too, my nose is fine, my skin's... ehh alright, my butt I guess it's alright fitsa girls love to have big butts they're always like "hey girls do u think my butt got bigger" or they argue about who's butt is bigger. They think it's like a good think to have a big butt. Like in the summer one fitsa girl was standing there and was like "guys... i think my butt got bigger right? it's big, right" and i was like "WHY do u want it big????" and she's like, "u white girls just like to have small asses, but we like it big and so do the guys" and i was like okayyy. My teeth r nice. All in all I'd say pretty good looking, I don't care if ppl think that's being like conceited cuz I don't think so. Ppl need more confidence in themselves ne way. Besides.... if u don't think ur attractive, pretty, good looking, smart, funny.... or basically think good or have a good self esteem about urself... then who will?? I mean, I know for sure that I don't like dudes with low self-esteem, cuz there's something good in everyone, u just have to open ur eyes and see it. Plus, just cuz a girl thinks good bout herself doesn't always mean she's conceited. Only if she's like, "oh i'm so hott, i'm hott, omg i am soo hott. I can get way better than that guy. I dunno, I'm just so beautiful, like every guy wants me and I just don't know who to pick hehehe" I don't really like girls like that. Hmm... so yea, pretty much looks is a big thing I think about, even ask Dina. Everytime there's a mirror I ALWAYS have to look in it and she ALWAYS yells at me and pulls me away. She's like, "omg lana do u HAVE to look in every mirror we pass by??" lol she's so funny. I think Tania agrees with that. I love those girls and I love Sina too.... although I rarely ever see her ne more or talk to her. It felt great when I spent the day of her Teta's funeral (Allah Yir7amah) with her and her family not great as in happy, but I mean... I felt great being there for her. I probably could've done more, but I honestly don't know what to do when a friend's family member dies. I don't know if she feels the same but I think maybe my being there might've showed her I'm always here for her whenever she needs me. Whether we still talk, see each other or whatever. I like to think my being there could've possibly made her feel a little better?? I hope so. I try to be as good of a friend as I can. I love Sina Dina and Tania. We barely ever fight, and whether we think bad bout each other or whatever get annoyed or rarely talk... it's like it still feels like we're close. Well... to be honest I'm not so sure if Sina feels that way. She has her new set of friends, best friends, b/f. She's the only one who really strayed away from the group. That used to REALLY upset/bother/ and piss me off. I'm sure Dina and Tania and Nora felt the same at one point or still do, I don't know. But we do miss her being around and we kinda got used to her not being around. Like I usually figure she's got plans with Susu or something so I don't really try and call to see if she wants to hang out. Maybe we should.... but also... when Sina does call, I can't help but to think "why does she wanna hang out? Is it cuz susu has other plans? Or they're not talking? Or Zaid's grounded?" But I don't say ne thing, maybe I should though and I hang out whether that's the case or not cuz I like to think it's really because she wants to hang out again. So I change my mind into thinking positively. Sina... if u read this... I'm sorry if I offended u or ne thing, it's just what I'm thinking, u know I love u!! <3 Well I'm outta here... peace out buddy!!

    Song that reminds me of this whole looks deal... Creep by Radiohead
    When you were here before,
    couldn't look you in the eye.
    You're just like an angel,
    your skin makes me cry.
    You float like a feather,
    in a beautiful world
    I wish I was special,
    you're so fucking special.

    But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
    What the hell am I doing here?
    I don't belong here.

    I don't care if it hurts,
    I want to have control.
    I want a perfect body,
    I want a perfect soul.
    I want you to notice,
    when I'm not around.
    You're so fucking special,
    I wish I was special.

    But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
    What the hell am I doing here?.
    I don't belong here

    She's running out the door,
    she's running,
    she run, run, run, run, run.

    Whatever makes you happy,
    whatever you want.
    You're so fucking special,
    I wish I was special,

    but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
    What the hell am I doing here?
    I don't belong here,
    I don't belong here.

    Current Mood: excited
    Current Music: Swing Swing- The All American Rejects
    Thursday, April 10th, 2003
    12:41 am
    Missing Bambi
    well.... I was just bout to say WHERE'S DICK?!? lol... but he JUST signed on... yayyy!! "hey hey heyy" to u too Bambi... kay he's back so I'm gonna go chat with him, peace out buddy!!

    Current Mood: lonely
    Current Music: Dream Boy Dream Girl- Cynthia & Johnny O
    Wednesday, April 9th, 2003
    4:01 pm
    Total Boredom!
    Yea so today is the twins' bday... Nafen and Aslan they're 13, it's all good. Anyway so today my parents took my aunt, her husband.... basically her family and Nala out to eat at a restaurant, which is all cool and all but I feel like I'm missing out on family events & stuff just cuz I dorm. Like seriously, why don't they do this stuff on weekends when I am home? I'm my aunt's favorite neice and Adnan's favorite cousin.... I'm sure they'd like to see me! Since I wanna see them and my other cousins like Liza and Adib and Waseem. Last night my parents also invited them to dinner at my house. So yea, I basically miss out on home stuff since I dorm. I'm really into family stuff, but... I'd rather dorm than drive to school anyway. Whatever. My roomie Jarraya has her sister and friend over, Jarraya and her friend went to a party so right now it's just me and her sister. I like her older sister, she's real cool and easy to talk to, lol, I talk to her more than I talk to Jarraya! Which is pathetic cuz me & Jarraya barellyyyyyy talk ever! It's kinda sad, but oh well. Anyway, me & her sister were watching sorority life and fraternity life on mtv and now I wanna join a sorrority... it looks like alot of fun so maybe I'll try it out next year.... I'm sure it'll be an awesome experience. Now we're watching Punk'd, pretty funny show, I love Ashton Kutcher, sorry Tambi (hehe :P). Well mr. bambi's bak at home having dinner with his sister and her friends.... mm... bet he's having a good time being surrounded by a few older women ;) lol it's all good. Umm... I'm pretty much really bored and feel like eating like crazyyy butttt.... can't risk gaining weight now can I?!? Nope... didn't think so! I'm still in the mood to eat though, oh well. Uh yea so I don't know what else to talk about and right now it's 11:22 p.m. Ohh... I don't wanna go to my class tomorrow!!!!!!! I truly HATE Comtemporary Moral Values, it's sooo gay, it's a waste of credits, time, class, money, thought.... it's totally stupid I shoulda dropped it but I thought it'd be easy, that's what I get for trying to take the easy way through things. Anyways, I'm out... PEACE!!

    What prep label are you?

    I scored a 87% on the "Are you really from North Jersey?" Quizie! What about you?

    Current Mood: bored
    Current Music: none again
    12:28 am
    Soo... yeah this is my first entry in my online journal and i'm feeling kinda like blahh. I'm talking to Tambi & Shan right now, Nala just called my cell... and my roomie has on Soulfood, pretty good show, I like it. It's kinda gross sometimes. Like in today's show.... lol major eww .... the lady said her husband makes her do stuff with guys to pay for his drugs and the other night she was giving ____ blah while another dude was uhh doing something else to her and her little kid son came down and saw it, that's sooo damn nasty. I'd NEVER do that... I don't know how things like that happen to ppl. I'd totally leave my guy. Whatta damn retard that lady is. Whatever, anyway umm... I really don't know what else to say in this thing... oh yeah!! The twins' bday is tomorrow, they're gonna be 13... they're growing up so damn fast, I hate it. I miss them being little kids and babies. Okay so Nala just called me again and I was talking to her, I had to stay in one certain position just to talk to her cuz my reception at school is pretty damn bad. Still talking to Tambi =) Well that's it for now I don't know what else to say so I'm done. nightie night!!

    Current Mood: discontent
    Current Music: none