Michelle's Blurty Entries [entries|friends|calendar] Michelle [ userinfo | blurty userinfo ] [ calendar | blurty calendar ]

[09 Aug 2004|07:10pm] [ mood | bored ] I don't really use this anymore... I'm mostly on myspace.com now. Things are going okay. Summer is over too soon, and I am [not] excited for another year of school. I've not been getting along well with one of my friends lately... he just pisses me off. I still love him, but I don't know how much more of his attitude. [Why do you like me? I am a loser. Usually people hate talking to me. You should too.] He wants me to hate him or something. Well, I wish I could. post comment

You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me. [01 Jun 2004|11:05pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | None.. Family Guy's on TV ] (1) Your gender: female (2) Straight/gay/bi?: straight (3) Single?: Yessa (4) want to be?: Either way, I'm cool with it. (5) Your birth day: December 15 (6) Age you act: It's a 7-18 range. (7) Age you wish you were: Um.. I like being my age. (8) Your height: 5'5 (9)Color of your eyes: Blue (10) Happy with it?: Sure (11) The color of your hair: Black (12) Happy with it?: Yeah :) (13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: left handed (14) Your living arrangement?: I live in a house with my family. (27) Your family: Mom, Evan, Jordan. Plus all that other family that doesn't live here. (28) What's your job: Go to school? (29) Skin?: Yeah,I have some. (30) Piercings?: Ears, eyebrow. (31) Tattoos?: Nope (32) Obsessions?: Music. Harry Potter. Conor Oberst. (35) Do you speak another language?: Some French (36) Have a favorite quote?: Everything Jack Handey. (37) Do you have a webpage? Ehh kind of. DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it (38) Do you live in the moment?: Some days. (39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Most of the time I guess. But I can be a loser. (40) Do you have any secrets?: Yeah. (41) Do you hate yourself?: not usually (42) Do you like your handwriting?: Kinda (43) Do you have any bad habits?: Making fun of myself. (44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: Um.. "You're a good artist" (45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: Michelle and the Five Blue Onions (46) What's your biggest fear?: Family members dying, dying alone. (47) Can you sing: Yes I can (48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Haha fuck no. (49) Are you a loner?: God yes (51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Probably not but ya never know. (52) Are you a daredevil?: No (53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: my weight (54) Are you passive or aggressive?: Passive sometimes.. aggressive sometimes. (55) Have you got a ?: No. (56) What is your greatest strength and weakness?:I don't know (57) If you could change one thing about yourself? my weight, my body. (58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: Creativity (59) How do you vent?: Yelling. Bitching. Singing. (60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: No (61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: yeah (62) Do you think life has been good so far?: There have been some bad times but it's okay. (63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Don't take things too seriously and don't bitch about your problems all the fucking time like a fucking melodramatic. (64) What do you like the most about your body?: Ehh hair (65) And least?: Fatto (66) Do you think you are good looking?: Some days! (67) Are you confident?: Sometimes I am, other times not. (68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: None? 69) Do people know how you feel?: Ask them (70) Are you perceived wrongly?: Yes people don't talk to me because I am fat. DO YOU... (71) Smoke?: no (72) Do drugs?: Nope (73) Read the newspaper?: everyday (74) Pray?: Sometimes (75) Go to church? no (76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: Yeah (77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: yes (78) Take walks in the rain?:sometimes (79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: I don't hate anyone (80) Drive?: no (81) Like to drive fast?: dunno HAVE YOU EVER... (82) Liked your voice?: sometimes (83) Hurt yourself?: Uhh not on purpose (84) Been out of the country?: yeah! (85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: Nope (86) Burped?: Everyday duh (87) Been unfaithful?: no (88) Been in love?: nope (89) Done drugs?: nope (90) Gone skinny dipping?: Nope (92) Had a surgery?: nope (93) Ran away from home?: nah (94) Played strip poker?: no (95) Gotten beaten up?: no (97) Been picked on?: all the time in grade eight.. and nine.. go to hell Scott (98) Been on stage?: choir stuff (99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: HAHA no (100) Slept outdoors?:yes (101) Thought about suicide?: not really (102) Pulled an all-nighter?: yes and going to again soon! tomorrow night baby Fort Sanin it up (103) If yes, what is your record?: Ehh.. I dunno 30 hours (104) Gone one day without food?: nope (105) Talked on the phone all night?: Nope (106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: nope (107) Slept all day? yeah (108) Killed someone?: no, only in my mind (109) Made out with a stranger?: no (110) Had sex with a stranger?: No (111) Thought you're going crazy?: Yeah (112) Kissed the same sex?: nope (113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: no (114) Been betrayed?: kinda (115) Had a dream that came true?: no (116) Broken the law?: yes (117) Met a famous person?: Not really (118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Hah um baby birds when I was like 3 in Skye's pool (146) Stolen anything?: not really (147) Been on radio/TV.?: nope (148) Been in a mosh-pit?: yes (149) Had a nervous breakdown? nope (150) Considered religious vocation?: um no? (151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: No (152) Bungee jumped?: nope (153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: yeah CLOTHES and other fashion (154) Shoe brand?: I have like.. Vans, Skechers, some Roxy Shoes, Hot Topic freak shoes and uhh Aldo I believe. I like Vans a lot. (155) Brand of clothing?: Whatever I see that I like (156) Cologne/perfume?: I haven't really found one I like that much (157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: Jeans and a shirt and hoodie.. (159) Wear hats?: no (160) Judge other people by their clothing?: Mostly Jessica Reid. But I do think short shirts and tight pants are SICK (161) Wear make-up?: yeah (162) Favorite place to shop?: Anyplace that sells CDs (163) Favorite article of clothing?: Pink and black pinstripe shirt (164) Are you trendy?: not really (165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: fuck no BELIEFS (166) Believe in life on other planets?: yes (167) Miracles?: not really (168) Astrology?: no (169) Magic?: no (170) God? : kinda (171) Satan?: no (172) Santa?: No (173) Ghosts?: yes (174) Luck?: bad luck (175) Love at first sight?: no (176) Yin and Yang?: no (177) Witches?: No (178) Easter bunny?: no (179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes (180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: no (181) Do you wish on stars?: sometimes. LOVE, and all that (182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: No (183) Do you remember your first love?: Never had one (184) Still love him/her?: ....... (185) Consider love a mistake?: no (186) What do you find romantic?: When they're really cute and don't mind being seen with you in public. And when they're faithful. (187) Turn-on?: Black hair. Messy hair. Stretched ears. Liprings. Cute laugh. Good taste in music. (188) Turn-off?: Druggies. Bad breath. Facial hair. (189) Do you base your judgement on looks alone: No, I like knowing a person. (200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: Strange 201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: knowing them (202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: no fuck (203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: yes (204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good lookin?: no (205) What is best about the opposite sex?: I don't know (206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: They're judgmental (207) What's the last present someone gave you?: Um. Darryn gave me his old glasses? (208) Are you in love?: nope (209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: ... (210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some attractive guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: Um, look at them for a second and be afraid they'll say something rude to me! WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON... (211) That haunted you?: uhh (212) You wanted to kill?: SOMEONE (213) That you laughed at?: Um. Megan probably for doing something strange? (214) That laughed at you?: my sister or mom (215) That turned you on?: .. (216) You went shopping with?: alicia melissa and sara (217) That broke your heart?: nobody (218) To disappoint you?: myself (220) To make you cry?: No comment (221) To brighten up your day?:Friends (222) That you thought about?: Levi and his black hair endeavour (223) You saw a movie with?: mom and Jordan, but I watched Thirteen here with Mego (224) You talked to on the phone?: The phone sucks (225) You talked to through IM?: Levi and Megan (226) You saw?: my mom. (227) You lost?: dunno.. no one recently (229) You thought was completely insane?: Cory Christison (230) You wanted to be?: a somebody (231) You told off?: Haha mom? (232) You trusted?: Friend (233) You turned down?: no one IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU.... (234) Smiled?: yeah (235) Laughed?: yeah (236) Cried?: almost (237) Bought something?: yeah (238) Danced?:no (240) Hugged someone?: no (241) Talked to an ex?: No (242) Watched your fave movie?: no (243) Had a nightmare?:no (245) Talked on the phone? yep (246) Listened to the radio?: yeah (247) Watched TV?: yep (248) Went out?: umm outside.. (249) Helped someone?: Yeah (250) Were mean?: yes (251) Sang?: yes (252) Saw a movie in a theater?: No (253) Said "I love you"?: nope (254) Missed someone?: yes (255) Fought with a family member?: yeah (256) Fought with a friend?: no, wanted to (257) Had a serious conversation?: yeah THAT TOOK A WHILE ^_^ post comment

[01 Jun 2004|10:33pm] Andrew Mcmahon from Something Corporate. Whos your pop-punk boyfriend or friend? brought to you by Quizilla Hot shit. post comment

I need you so bad.. [25 May 2004|11:30pm] The Generic Teenager Stereotype Do you drink [alcohol]?: No. Do you party a lot? How often?: Haha no, I have no social life. Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?: No, skid. How often do you use the word like in an average hour?: Like, all the time. Do you skip classes? How often?: Oh sometimes.. like.. once every two weeks.. Do you have casual sex? Protected?: No. Do you steal?: Haha very very rarely. Do you wear inappropriate clothing?: No, ew, look at me. Do you drool over celebrities?: I drool over no one. Do you watch a lot of TV?: Only at night.. Hello, cartoons. Do you ever watch the News?: Nope. Do you even care about world issues?: Depends what's going on. Do you read books often?: Um, if I have a good book I'll read it in like an hour haha. Are you failing a lot of your classes?: No, I'm scraping by. Do you spend most of your time with your friends?: No, my friends are always too busy for me. Do you smoke cigarettes?: No, ew. Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?: No.. all the loser little kids do. Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?: All the time. Do you cuss a lot?: When I'm with people or frustrated. Are you desperate to fit in?: Uh, fuck no. Are you intelligent?: I'm kind of smart. The Goth Stereotype Black lipstick?: No. Black eyeliner?: Yeah Black eyeshadow?: On occasion Black trenchcoat?: No I wish *trenchcoat mafia* Black boots?: No, I want some tomb boots.. Black fishnets?: Nope Black nail polish?: Sometimes Cigarettes?: No. Heavy metal music?: No. Marilyn Manson?: No. Kittie?: No. Cradle of Filth?: No. Constant frown and perpetual angst?: Umm.. I have a lot of angst but I smile a lot. Do you like to be seen as: ...? Are you an intellectual?: Not unless I want to outsmart someone. An atheist?: ehh.. a little, sometimes. Horrible home life?: Haha a bit dysfunctional but no. Hopelessly depressed?: Sometimes. Suffering with suicidal idealations?: Nope Self-mutilation?: Nope The Punk Stereotype Plaid?: I want pants. Big black boots?: Nope Mohawk?: Haha no Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]: Not excessive. Loud, confident and opinionated?: Depends where I am Wild hair colors?: Not really.. only black and bluish NOFX?: Yeh :) Rancid?: No Well versed on political scandals and outrages?: no A: B The Jock Sterotype What's your IQ?: 127? Do you watch a lot of sports?: No. Play a lot of sports?: no Talk a lot about sports?: nahhh Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?: i do everything but think about sports Are you arrogant?: No. Are you a male or female whore?: No. Are you homophobic?: Nope :) Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?: um no But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?: yes Boobs = yes?: I have them.. Parties = yes?: No Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers = yes?: Fuck no The Girl Stereotype Do you spend a lot of time on your appearence?: On occasion Have you ever been on a diet?: Yeah many times How much did you lose?: Nothing Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?: No.. Make yourself throw up?: Nope Make-up?: Yeahh Low-cut tops?: Haha dear god no How big are your boobies? [Cup size]: Good enough Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?: no Giggle a lot?: More like laugh insanely What's the deal with boys?: they are shallow bastards Thongs?: No Pretty bras?: PINK! YM, Teen, Cosmo, et al?: On occasion Who's the weaker sex?: female Are you a feminist?: not really Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?: nah How often do you shave your legs?: Not often enough How about your armpits?: More than my legs Are you emotional?: Yeah This Or That [Oh, that old coconut.] Originality or Acceptance?: originality Independence or Companionship?: independence Stability or Freedom?: freedom Personal or Interpersonal?: personal Introvert or Extrovert?: either way Popularity or Isolation?: neither Unique or Loved?: unique Understood or Individual?: individual You or Them?: ME post comment

[25 May 2004|07:23pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | New Found Glory -:- I Don't Wanna Know ] I'm worried about him. Keeping this anonymous in case he chances upon it.. which is very unlikely, but still. He says I shouldn't worry, but I do. Nothing keeps me from it.. I care, and I'm glad I do. He should be too.. Anyway. Twenty-four days until school's finished. I can't wait until summer.. my mom's planning on renting a cabin somewhere and that will be so good if it happens. I love lakes.. haha.. I was going to go to Europe this year but I decided I'm going next year. And no, I'm not going to Warped Tour. Not that I don't want to, though. I just can't wait until school's over. I hate it so much. The only thing I'm not looking forward to next school year is Gym with kids that are a year younger than me. They all think they're so cool. I hope the god-awful emo trend is done with soon.. Emo should not be a trend. A year ago these kids were listening to rap and pop and then they decided to listen to Emo and hardcore and dye their hair black and get emo glasses halfway through the year. I don't mean to sound hypocritical (I have black hair, too). But I hope they really are in it for the music instead of the "look"... you know.. the black, short hair.. tight sweaters and jeans.. Chucks.. blah. All the stereotypes. Most of them are just losers, too, all snobby and judgmental. If they weren't like that I wouldn't even care. Um. May long was kind of boring for the most part. But, Megan and Dlainie came over on Sunday and I must say I had a pretty good time. I had three tests today, two of which I forgot about. I think I aced the Science test, though, it was cake. History and math, not so sure. Ew. I hate math so much. Nice friends I have.. they don't even talk to me.. I was supposed to do something with Sara tonight but I guess she doesn't want to? I dunno. Whatever. I'm going now. Laterz dawg. Haha. post comment

... [21 May 2004|06:40pm] [ mood | depressed ] Name:: Michelle Nickname:: Mish.. Mishi (until you went away).. Shelle. Age:: 15 Date of Birth:: December 15 Location:: Moose Jaw Gender:: Female Occupation:: Student Email:: singmyimperfectoffering@hotmail.com Description Eye Color:: Blue Hair Color:: Black with bluish roots. Weight:: Too fucking much. Height:: 5'5 Piercings:: Ears twice and eyebrow. Tattoos:: No. Shoe Size:: 10 Wearing:: Pink and black striped shirt. Red, black and silver striped pants. A black sock and a blue sock. Currents Listening:: Nothing. Eating:: Nothing. Feeling:: Cold. Tired. Bored. Depressed. Family Parents:: Mom. Siblings:: Jordan and Evan and Colin (I guess.) Pets:: 2 dogs a cat and 2 guinea pigs. Divorced?:: No? Music Favorite Band:: New Found Glory and Brand New. Favorite Song:: Doubt Full and Over the Head, Below the Knees by New Found Glory. Hated Band:: Uh. Punk bands trying to be old school hardcore. Hated Song:: I dunno Atreyu songs. Best CD:: New Found Glory-Catalyst and Brand New-Deja Entendu Worst CD:: Rancid - Indestructible. They suck. favorite? radiostation:: Fuck off radio. Music TV Station: Muchmusic, only when The Wedge is on. Color:: Black and pink. Food:: Go away food. TV Show:: Family Guy. School Subject:: I hate school. Animals:: Cats. Movies:: Office Space. Books:: You Don't Know Me. Cartoon:: Family Guy and Spongebob.. and Ned's Newt and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Actor:: Emile Hirsch Actress:: The mom on Gilmore Girls? Drink:: Water Holiday:: Christmas Scent:: Axe on guys Pizza Topping:: Mushrooms. Board Game:: Trivial Pursuit Video Game:: video games suck Website:: just this Number:: 23 Cereal:: French Toast Crunch Dessert:: Cheese Cake Ice Cream Flavor:: Strawberry Banana frozen yogurt Disney Character:: Bianca from the Rescuers Place to Shop: I dunno Pastime:: listening to music. That's pretty much it. Teacher:: Huschi ;) Childhood Toy:: Deedee Amusement Park Ride:: I don't know Candy:: Nerds, Mike n Ikes and Skittles. Magazine:: Alternative Press Thing to Do:: Hang out with friends. Hot Drink:: Hot chocolate Season:: Spring or fall Sport:: Sports suck Bedroom Wall Color:: light blue Posters: Umm.. three Spongebob.. the Used.. Have a Day/Night... bunch of magazine pictures and some I painted Sheets: Some weird blanket-cover thing # Pillows:: 4 # Blankets:: 1 Size Bed:: Twin.. Share a room?:: Neverrr Snore?: Not to my knowledge Drool?:: No Stuffed animals?:: Oh yes Either Or Coke or Pepsi:: Pepsi Doughnuts or Bagels:: donuts Day or Night:: night Heaven or Hell:: I don't think they exist Coffee or Tea:: tea Hamburgers or Hot Dogs:: Hot Dogs Rap or Rock:: Rock Punk or Emo:: Emo Silver or Gold:: Silver Nike or Adidas:: Nike McDonalds or Burger King:: McDonald's Hot or Cold:: hot Winter or Summer:: Summer Spring or Summer:: Spring Operas or Plays:: Plays Read or Watch TV:: Ehh it depends CDs or Tapes:: CDs DVDs or VHS:: DVDs Old or New:: new Shorts or Skirts:: Skirts Colored or Black and White:: Color Mexican or Chinese:: Mexican.. Commercials or Informercials:: Informercials Bikinis or One Piece:: neither bathing suits are gay Sandals or Sneakers:: sneakers Dogs or Cats:: Cats Black or White:: Black Ribbons or Bows:: Ribbons Chicken or Beef:: chicken Cars or Trucks:: Cars Popcorn or Pretzels:: popcorn Picture Frames or Photo Albums:: albums Candid or Posed:: candid Pens or Pencils:: Pencils. Opinion Recording Industry:: Just keeps coming out with more generic shit and doesn't look for talent anymore President Bush:: is a homo war monger Controversial Music Artists:: are good for giving their opinion. Except Eminem he's a loser who wants attention Religion:: whatever.. believe what you want but don't preach it to me Homosexuals:: creep me out a bit when they do the whole PDA thing. Abortion:: is disgusting. Don't be such a whore and you won't have this problem Death:: sucks. Random Words Sponge:: bob Yellow:: lemon freezies Marshmellow:: those pillow guys on the Puff Commercials Dog:: Stinky Cat:: fuzzy Cruel:: bonsaikitten.com Phone:: numbers Rainbow:: skittles Animal:: lions Queen:: Bohemian Rhapsody Chocolate:: Brown teeth Trivia:: Cards Sandy:: Martin Soda:: Root beer Have You Ever: Told a Secret?:: Yes Broke a Bone?:: No Got into a Fight?:: Yes Plotted Against Someone?:: All the time Been on TV?:: No Been on the Radio?:: No Been in a Mosh Pit?:: Yes.. I fell down and took four people with me it was scary :) Been to a Concert?:: Yeppo Taken Drugs?:: No. Sick. Drank Alcohol?:: On occasion Broken the Law?:: Kind of Been to a Rodeo?:: nope Been on an Airplane?:: many times Came Close to Dying?:: No Terrorized a Babysitter?:: Clem.. ahha Snuck out of the House?:: Nope Smoked?:: no Been to Camp?:: Camp Capernaum for a field trip Won a Bet?:: Yep Won a Trophy or Medal?:: No Thrown up in Public?:: Nope Bowled a Perfect Game?:: Haha no Stayed Back?:: What. Gotten Perfect Attendance?:: No! Loved Someone?:: I thought I did Random Three Things Near Computer:: Plastic toybox bench. Disks. Crayons. Magazine. Video Camera. Books. Hidden Talents:: None really Worst Movie:: Center Stage. Best Movie:: Office Space.. Drive?:: Nope Sky Dive?:: No Believe in Bigfoot?:: Maybe Lochness Monster?:: No Yeti?:: No. Other Random Monster?:: Ghosts Rooms in House:: 12 Afraid of Roller Coasters?:: kind of Believe in Some Higher Power?:: Sometimes Own a Pool Table?:: No Wished on a Shooting Star?:: Once.. but fuck wishes Best Halloween Costume:: none. Carry Weapons?:: Um a pen? Ideal Way to Die?: In My Sleep Way to Release Stress:: Shake a lot and yell Trendy?:: ew Artistic?:: woo Untie Shoes Before Taking Them Off?:: no Strong?:: No. Last Email:: A survey from dlainie Last IM:: uhh.. to corey yesterday saying i was leaving now Deep Sleeper?:: Sometimes Story Tellerer?:: Sometimes Best Quality:: I don't believe I mhave many except I talk to anyone and I'm not a fucking poser like the person I stole this survey from Greatest Accomplishment:: Dunno Best Feeling in World:: Having friends Worst Feeling in World:: Having people put you down all the time based on your appearance Half Empty or Half Full?:: depends on the day Last Thing Downloaded:: Um. New Found Glory sheeyat Use Online Terms IRL?:: no fuck off.. well i say "lol" sometimes but i don't say that online Likeable?:: I like to think so Need Therapy?:: probably Need Medication?:: nope Kind of Movie to be in?:: Something good? Kind of Band to be in?:: One with good music Kind of TV Show to be in?: Cartoon Favorite Phrase:: I dunno Favorite Quote:: I dunno post comment

Hello [17 May 2004|12:00am] Heyyy I can't even remember when I updated this last about.. ya know.. my life? Um well.. there's not much to say. This weekend I went into Regina with my mom and Jordan for some shopping. I bought some hot new pants and a shirt because I'm pretty cool you know.. and I got some bracelet things and some earrings and some socks and wow. It was pretty cool. I also bought this really good lipgloss and the New Found Glory dvd. We decided to stay overnight and that was okay. Some guy who looked like a drunk poet rear-ended us and it was scary and now my mom's back is fucked. I think I'm going to quit drivers'. I don't think I'm ready for it.. haha I'm like failing everything, and being in Drivers at lunch cuts an hour of my last-minute homework time. And I just can't have that happen! So, I think I'll wait until September when I'm more prepared! It works. Haha. Oh boy it's midnight. I'm going to be tired tomorrow. Ew. I looked so hot this afternoon. And I never think I look hot. BYE post comment

[09 May 2004|11:27pm] I told you I'd do it again! 1. Sew me up, my scars run deep A reminder not to forget the times that we've had 2. You can squint through snowy static to make out the meaning. Just keep on stretching the antennae, hoping that it will come clear. We need some reception, a higher message, just tell us what to fear. Because I don't know what tomorrow brings. It is alive with such possibilities. All I know is I feel better when I sing. Burdens are lifted from me, that is my voice rising! 3. Last call to wake me up and stumble to the street Don't know if I'm coming or going (one more drink) So called friends long since departed in the night Tomorrow morning they'll exaggerate and tell me varied lies If they only knew what I have seen and what I have been through 4. through my mind you wander spell to bind forever pain and ease together love can pull us under 5. cross out my eyes i know you planned it you know i love you and i can't stand it we just lost control 6. this is your ghost that kneels before me razers on her tongue, a body full of oxygen it wont be the last time she'll ignore me the thinning of my skin, without the strength to go the winter's setting in, to cover you in snow 7. So get back, back, back to where we lasted. Just like I imagine. I could never feel this way. So get back, back, back to the disaster. My heart's beating faster. Holding on to feel the same. 8. What makes us burn every bridge we cross? Or walk aimlessly into oncoming traffic? Third times a charm, but would we even get that far? Thought I owed it to everyone, but I really owe it to myself. 9. i met a girl who kept tattoos for homes that she had loved if i were her i'd paint my body until all my skin was gone she wrote me a letter as we passed through rockford she said she won't forget maybe i do maybe i don't but i know i haven't yet 10. in a pain that buckles out your knees could you stop this if I plead (you got it) so destined I am to walk among the dark a child in keeping secrets from (will they know what I've done in the after) in the sought for matter when the words blame you in a blood red summer I'll give you (I don't want it) what did I do to deserve this? 2 comments|post comment

Funnn! [09 May 2004|11:14pm] On your current playlist, hit shuffle and pick the first ten songs on the list (no matter how cheesy or embarrassing), and write down your favorite lyric of the song. Try to avoid putting the song title in the line. Then, have your friends comment and see if they know the songs. 1. So stare and see that this is me, and I will be just what I need to believe that something is what i'm gonna be. 2. Always tell us what to do With your high top shoes And you wave your torch With your black short shorts 3. Think of all the fun you had The finest line divides a night well spent from a waste of time Think of all the days you spent alone with just your T.V. set and I I can barely smile 4. I'll do what I go to, the truth is you could slit my throat And with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt 5. I always thought I was number one to you but looking back I never even was your number two 6. i see that part of this has something to do with mediocore memory this take is harder than the old and new combined head buried attack these manic men red glares from the color of outstretched hands get it higher 7. And these tragic nights, In afternoon sweet disaster. I can still feel you... As if you were in the room. What is our story and where does it start? I buried you along with my... 8. Today I don't feel pretty And i'm tired of trying to fit right in Don't think they're just so great Cause being great must suck We don't always see the bright side We all need ego suicide 9. take the picture from the wall, cos you think that nothing matters, take a picture from the plane, cos it's a long way to the floor. cut your finger on the edge cos it's sharper than they told you. take a leap from out the window cos its way too far to go through the door. 10. i won't stand here this dance won't stop the music your promise will help me lead untill the end I LIKE THAT I SHALL DO IT AGAIN. post comment

"It's me and the moon," she says. [09 May 2004|01:38am] [ music | Me and the Moon -:- SoCo ] I'm fucked for history. 1500 word essay, footnotes, written jot notes and rough draft.. due on Friday. And, I haven't even started it yet. Well, I have my thesis statement and some jot notes, but there's no way I can finish all of this! The IP PowerPoint is due on Monday... I can't get the music onto it because when we sent it through e-mail it messed up the formatting. God. I hate school so much sometimes. I will be SO glad when all of this has been handed in and presented. Oh yes and I also have a science report on Cystic Fibrosis due. But I think I can get that one done. Anyways.. yesterday Joel came over at about five and we pretty much just sat around. Then, at eight Sara came over. Which was a great shock to all of us seeing as her parents are very overprotective at times. We all sat on my couch looking through the window and waving like idiots at anyone who walked by. Then, we sat outside on the sidewalk and waved at people some more. We made some freezer pizza and were planning to give people pizza when they walked by, but since my street was deserted at nine thirty it didn't turn out like we wanted it to. We went to Mac's for Slurpees, and then when my sister came home we went to Mac's again and bought chips. We watched Thirteen.. after that it was one thirty and Sara and Joel fell asleep at about two.. and I sat talking about absolutely nothing with people on MSN until like five in the morning. I am such a loser. After Sara and Joel left today, I had to clean. Then we went to Joey's for supper and it was kind of good. Then I went out on the roof with my sister and her friend, and Joel came back. We were on the roof yelling at some loser eighth-graders who thought they were extremely cool because they were hiding behind the bushes and in the alley throwing rocks at us. And we then watched Bring it On. There is almost every second of my little weekend so far. And I'm sure that whoever is reading this is done now. So, I'm going to stop. Bye. post comment

On the one sunny day that winter gave up.. [05 May 2004|11:45pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Walking By -:- Something Corporate ] I love this song. Your granddad left home for the circus He was young just like me, with hope to explore He married a girl in Virginia She could swing the trapeze; they could sleep on the floor Your mother was born in December On the one sunny day That winter gave up With warm summer eyes That flickered like fireflies And she stared at the world So why do you leave these stories unfinished? My cheshire cat doorstop with tears in your eyes And why do you look when you've already found it? And what did you find that would leave you walking by? She was raised in a New England village Then she moved to LA with a firefly stare And you loved sunset strip when it sparkled, You grew up and you sparkled; but why don't you care? And why do you leave these stories unfinished? My cheshire cat doorstop with tears in your eyes? And why do you look when you've already found me? And what did you find that could leave you walking by? And these nights I get high just from breathing When I lie here with you, I'm sure that I'm real Like that firework over the freeway I could stay here all day but that's not how you feel So why do you leave these questions unanswered? The circus awaits and you're already gone My cheshire cat doorstop with fear in your smile What makes it so easy for you to be walking by? And what did I do that you can't seem to want me? And why do we lie here and whisper goodbyes? And where can I go that your pictures won't haunt me? What makes it so easy for you to be walking by? Walking by Walking by ~Walking By.. SoCo Hmm.. today was alright. Mostly just hung around here with Joellynn and Alicia.. found out I failed a science test.. I have a fucking 94 in that class and I go and fail a test? What's wrong with me? I also am not doing very well in Driver's Ed.. I am so bad at taking down my own notes.. I wish Mr. Rurak would write them on the white board.. I'm lost. Other than that, I haven't been failing too miserably lately. We all went to Pizza Hut for supper.. Skye came with her mom, but I didn't talk to her. I felt really bad about that.. it's kind of awkward when you used to know someone so well and then you just fall out of touch.. she used to be my best friend, and now we never even talk to each other.. and I mean, come on, we've known each other since we were like two.. so this kind of sucks. The OC season finale was on tonight. I've been following that show lately.. it's addictive. I don't know how I'll go until fall without a new episode!! Haha, kidding. I think I'll make it. I'm so tired. I need sleep but I don't feel like going to bed. I'm done all my homework for once. I think that tomorrow I should definitely start my history essay.. 1500 words, due next Friday. And, all I have done is my thesis statement. I have to hand in jot notes, a handwritten rough copy, and also my sources. This is the stupidest assignment ever. Also, I have to make footnote. I don't know what I'll do about that. Ew. I have so much due.. my InfoPro PowerPoint thing on this cult is due on Monday.. I'm setting it to "The Light and the Glass" by Coheed and Cambria. It will be kind of cool if it works. And I have a science report due next.. um.. the Monday after next I guess. That shouldn't be hard. I hate school. I wish it would die. I have no ambition at the moment. My hands are freezing. I thought you were supposed to eat the red ones last.. GOD I dislike that commercial. HELLO. I'm leaving. Bye. post comment

We pray for night to start over again.. [04 May 2004|09:25pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Swallow the Knife -:- Story of the Year ] Soo.. today was kind of.. better than most I guess.. in a way. I got twelve hours of sleep so, needless to say, I had a better outlook during the whole day. I wasn't pissy all day like usual. I have an extra day to finish my math.. 15% off, but still. I'm still not gonna do it. Haha. Umm.. due date for IP moved to Monday or Tuesday. Cool. Driver's was confusing. Right of way? Yeah. I'm going to fail this year I believe. We're learning chemistry in science, ew, I hate formulas. And uhhh Armstrong yelled all through history and I had to listen to Sara bitch about Emma AGAIN. Haha. God every day I swear. Ew stupid guys are here. Kill me now. Umm.. After school Alicia came over and we were yelling "wanna screw" at old people and scaring little kids.. and then Joel came over.. and we did nothing the whole time. Alicia left, then Joel did. Calvin decided to come "appraise"-if you will- my Magic cards. 200 bucks. Nice. Now to find someone who will buy them. He didn't talk like at all because "he's shy around girls in person". Okay good excuse. I had to have Cayla there for moral support haha I used her for half an hour. Then I went to bass. And um. My life is boring at the moment haha. Ohh. I just told a really bad joke. But nevermind. Byeee post comment

.. [02 May 2004|11:29pm] Yes, I stole it. I like it. Read it. Top twelve reasons homosexual marriage should not be legal: 1.Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control. 2.Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children. 3.Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. 4.Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful. 5.Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal. 6.Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities. 7.Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America. 8.Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall. 9.Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. 10.Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children. 11.Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to cars or longer lifespans. 12.Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “seperate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will. 2 comments|post comment

More. [02 May 2004|12:27am] A-Appetizer of Choice: Bread wedges <3 B-Best Friend: Joelly and Sara C-Choice of Meat: Salmon D-Dream Date: Conor Oberst.. like come on who else would it be? E-Exciting Adventure: Walking around in a haunted house.. other than my own. F-Favorite Food: I don't know :) G-Greatest Accomplishment: Finishing elementary.. haha H-Happiest Day of your life: Starting grade nine I-Interesting Fact: Cows can't walk down stairs :) K-Kool-Aid: The blue kind L-Lover: Oh. I don't know. But I'm marrying Conor Oberst, remembeR? M-Marriage: Duh look at the last question. N-Name: Isaiah.. what a sexy name.. MINE'S MICHELLE HI I'M COOL O-Obsession: Brand New, I think. P-Pizza toppings: Mushrooms :) Q-Question Asked to you the most: Did it hurt when you got your eyebrow pierced? R-Radio Station: Radio sucks. But I like Cutting Edge Alternative on theiceberg.com S-Sex: Yes please. So kidding. T-Television Show: South Park or The Wedge U-Underwear: NO preference. V-Video: The new Beastie Boys video! W-Winter: is cold. X-X-ray: Not as fun as they look. Y-Year: 1964 Z-Zodiac sign: Sag *5 things you are wearing* 1. Strange shirt with the anime girl in fatigues on it. Covered with a green net like thing. 2. Dirty jeans. 3. Brown necklace. 4. Underwear 5. and a bra :) sillies *5 things you can see* 1. Computer 2. Video camera 3. Speakers 4. Lip gloss 5. Marshmallow poker. *5 things you are doing right now* 1. Listening to Coheed 2. Typing 3. Sitting on a chair 4. Tapping my foot :) 5. Filling this out. *5 things you ate in the last 24 hours* 1. Salmon 2. Tortilla chips 3. Crackers 4. Licorice 5. Uh. A banana. *5 things you did so far today* 1. Woke up. 2. Watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton 3. Listened to my mixed cd from grade six or seven 4. Posted Hanson on Emolyrics 5. Told little boys to go away *5 things you can hear right now* 1. Coheed 2. My breathing 3. Keyboard clicking 4. My incessant coughing 5. Um nothing else *5 colors you can see* 1. White 2. Grey 3. Copper 4. Green 5. Purple --->I stole these. post comment

Lovely song [01 May 2004|04:55pm] Naked as we Came -:- Iron and Wine She says "wake up, it's no use pretending" I'll keep stealing, breathing her Birds are leaving over autumn's ending One of us will die inside these arms Eyes wide open, naked as we came One will spread our ashes round the yard She says "if I leave before you, darling Don't you waste me in the ground" I lay smiling like our sleeping children One of us will die inside these arms Eyes wide open, naked as we came One will spread our ashes round the yard It's beautiful.. post comment

I will never have a bath in the morning again. [01 May 2004|03:21am] In the span of time since I bathed, I have been sprayed more-than-liberally with foul-smelling teenage-boy cologne, and have had my head wrapped in a blue fleece coat that smelled like marijuana and rotten salami. Thanks boys. I don't want to shower again. It's almost three thirty in the morning. Ew. I'm tired. I smell like a disgusting boy who bathes in cologne, smokes pot and lives in the dumpster behind a deli. Not a good combination. Considering the fact that after my bath I smelled like pomegranate body wash, grape bubble bath, citrus shaving cream and watermelon-scented children's shampoo. Bye. 2 comments|post comment

One more. [01 May 2004|02:24am] Okay one more survey. N . i . N . E things that make you smile: [x] Friends. [x] Crushes. Sometimes. [x] Brand New and Somethine Corporate [x] Him... [x] music [x] sleep [x] weekends [x] Cheese [x] cold drinks E . i . G . H . T things you wear daily: [x] clothes [x] brown necklace. [x] pink + purple eyeshadow (almost daily) [x] shoes [x] mascara [x] eyebrow barbell [x] emily bag (every weekday anyway) [x] foundation S . E . V . E . N things that annoy you: [x] That fucking Rootbeer commercial with the sick lady [x] Waking up early [x] Crystal and Marlissa [x] Sister's friends [x] Fake people [x] The fucking EMO trend .. [x] Alyssa. "I'm so hardcore". Ew. S . i . X things you are looking forward to: [x] Studying 8-B [x] Going to the states in the summer [x] Getting a job [x] Maybe going to Europe this summer. [x] Getting my learner's [x] Umm anything this summer F . i . V . E things you are scared of: [x] Ghosts. Kay I swear my house is haunted. [x] Family members dying [x] blood tests [x] Talking to Mr Morrison about where I am when I'm not at school [x] Graveyards F . O . U . R people you want to spend more time with: [x] Jill [x] Meghan [x] Megan [x] Cayla T . H . R . E . E movies you could watch over and over: [x] Nightmare Before Christmas [x] Office Space [x] Umm.. I dunno what else T . W. O special moments: [x] Meeting Mike on the cruise with Skye haha good times [x] dunno O . N . E person you can spend forever with: [x] I don't know yet. post comment

Survey. [01 May 2004|01:53am] Jessica with one J hey? That's stupid. I'mma do two surveys now which will take me a while. I have no life. Hey it's the Blurty Classic Quiz. If ya look around you'll see it's everywhere. 1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: appears, change the city's production to Marketplace. The Marketplace Improvement Civilization II Rulebook or something haha >.< 2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? Pink plastic toybox slash couch 3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? The Wedge. 4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is: 1:46 5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 1:57. Geez. 6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: Some song by Air on the Wedge. 7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing? Haha coming back from Boston Pizza last night :$ 8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at? Um Emolyrics. 9: What are you wearing? Ugly loose jeans and a hippie-bohemian type shirt. Kay ew. 10: Did you dream last night? Um yeah it was weird some guy named Sheldon like.. liked a bunch of people I can't really remember it all I know is Sara was there and so was a guy named Matt. 11: When did you last laugh? Um. Whennn um that one show was on 12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?: Freaky tapestry of a face-like thing. And.. electrical sockets.. a phone, and a painting. And a bookshelf and a big mural of ducks in the prairies. And a collage. And something else I can't remember. 13: Seen anything weird lately?: Guys massaging their balls on channel 26 :S and vaginal breathing too. 14: What do you think of this quiz?: SUPA KEWL *CHOPS 4 LIFE* sorry. 15: What is the last film you saw?: Part of Marvin's Room 16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: New makeup. And some pets :) 17: Tell me something about you that I don't know: I like purple mittens and Avril's new song. 18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?: Banish judgement based on appearance. 19: Do you like to dance?: Um not really. 20: George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?: Power-crazy nutcase. Fuck. 21a: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: Azalia or Alexis. 21b: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Isaiah. 22: Would you ever consider living abroad? Haha probably not. ~ Okay another one. This is a long one. ][ what time is it?: 2:04 a.m. ][ what is the date?: May first. ][ why are you fillinq this out?: Boredom. No one's on MSN. - favorites. ][ number: 19 ][ color: hot pink and black. ][ season: spring ][ holiday: Christmas. Or.. Easter. ][ month: June or December. ][ day of the week: Friday ][ qrade so far: 7th ][ class: science ][ teacher so far: Mrs Reidy or Miss Ksenych ][ drink: Iced tea. ][ food: I don't even know anymore. ][ fruit: Pomegranate or mango ][ veqqie: Avocado (is that a veggie?) or raw broccoli. ][ tv show: The Wedge, Family Guy and South Park. ][ radio station: I hate the radio. I like internet radio though. ][ cd: Brand New Deja Entendu. Orrrr.. I like the Ataris So Long Astoria and Staind's new one too. ][ animal: Hedgehog ][ clothinq store: I don't have one ][ ice cream flavor: Cookies and Cream ][ breakfast food: French toast. ][ way to have fun: Hang around with people I like. - this or that. ][ me/you: You ][ aol/aim: AIM ][ cd/cassette: CD ][ dvd/vcr: dvd ][ radio/cd: cd ][ slow dance/freak dance: neither ][ jeans/khakis: jeans ][ jacket/coat: jacket ][ leather/pleather: pleather ;) ][ sparkles/bronze: bronze. ][ sexy/hot: hot ][ car/truck: car ][ civic/acura: acura ][ corvette/camero: Neither ][ stronq/weak: depends ][ upset/pissed: upset ][ tall/short: tall ][ lunch/dinner: lunch ][ abercrombie/hollister: um i dunno ][ qap/old navy: neither ][ nsync/bsb: *Nsync babe ][ britney/xtina: Britney ][ love/lust: love ][ qone in 6o seconds/the fast and the furious: neither ][ inside/outside: outside ][ lipstick/lipqloss: lipqloss ][ silver/qold: silver ][ peircinqs/tattoos: _piercings ][ football/basketball: basketball ][ thunder/liqhtning: lightning ][ this/that: that - friends. ][ best qirl friend: Sara or Joel ][ do you qet alonq with people easily: Mostly. ][ why?: I don't know. If they talk to me, I talk to them ][ craziest?: Michelle ][ loudest: Megan. ][ funniest: Megan. ][ quietest: Michelle. ][ sweetest: I dunno ][ most carinq: Sara ][ most understandinq: Sara ][ kinkiest: SARA haha ][ sleeziest: none? ][ biqqest flirt: uhh Marlissa except i don't really consider her a friend ][ been friends more then 2 years: Jill, Meghan, Cayla ][ cutest couple: None ][ most loyal: Joel ][ most athletic: none haha ][ if you were stuck with only 2 friends, who would you pick and why?: Um I don't know. Maybe Alicia and Sara because they don't really get annoying. Well they do but ya know ][ if you could date any person, who would you date and why?: I know exactly who but I'm not saying it here. ][ if you were the opposite sex, which member of the same sex (as you are now) would you date + why?: thats a scary question ][ most likely to be on america's most wanted: Michelle haha running down her stepmom or something ][ most likely to be a stripper: Kay no ][ doctor: uM no idea ][ stay at home mom: Haha god I dunno ][ who would do anythinq for a thousand dollars?: Crystal ][ who has the nicest parents?: I don't know anyone's parents. Haha Jill's mom is super though ][ who is like your adopted sister/brother?: none ][ who is the most like you?: Megan - past. ][ if you could take back one thinq you did, what would it be and why?: I don't regret things anymore. Fuck that. ][ do you have any reqrets?: I used to. ][ last thinq you said: I have no idea. ][ last sonq you heard: Avril Lavigne - I'm With You ][ last person you talked to on the phone: my mom haha ][ if you could qet back toqether with an ex, who would it be and why?: HAHA no. - present. ][ what are you doinq riqht now?: Filling this thing out. ][ what cd is in your cd player?: Mixed CD I made on Wednesday. ][ are you cold?: Not really. ][ how are you sittinq?: Um. Just sitting I guess with my foot up. ][ is there music on?: Avril Spotlight is on Much ahha ][ what time is it?: 2:18 am ][ where are your parents?: my mom's in Regina. My dad's.. somewhere. If there's a heaven I'm sure he's there. - future. ][ how old wiill you be when you qraduate hiqh scool?: 17 ][ are you qoinq to qet married?: Maybe.. I hope so ][ are you qoinq to have children?: I want to adopt. ][ if yes, how many?: Like 2 ][ what will you name them?: If they don't have names already.. Alexis and Isaiah ][ do you wanna qo to colleqe?: Not really ][ which colleqe?: I want to go to Complections beauty school in Toronto - have you ever. ][ drank: Vodka in Hawaiian Punch. Couldn't taste it. ][ skinny dipped: No. ][ prank called the police: No ][ been followed, ect by the police: No haha ][ met someone off the net: Not yet ][ been in a fist fiqht?: Nope.. well.. not really ][ punched your siblinq/parent?: Yes.. ][ wished you'd die: not really ][ tried to commit suicide?: No. ][ broken a bone?: Nope ][ driven illeqally: no ][ thrown thinqs at your parents?: Haha no ][ ran away: Nope ][ filled out a survey this lonq: longer.. like 600 questions haha - others. ][ write in cursive or print?: print most of the time ][ riqhty, lefty, ambidexterous?: lefty ][ what do you think of rainbows?: yay ][ do you have any tattoos?: nope ][ if not, do you want any, and where?: no ][ what do you think of eminem?: he's better now ][ what do you think of britney and justin?: Worst couple ever. ][ if you could live anywhere else, where would you live?: Dunno ][ do you drive?: no ][ like milk and cookies?: yes ][ ever worn black nail polish?: yes ][ what color nail polish do you have on?: none ][ if you could have a 6th sense, what would it be?: Um. I don't know. Go invisible. ][ do you do thinqs even when your parents say no?: Sometimes ][ ever taken anythinq from a hotel?: Shampoo. Soap. The stuff they let you take. ][ did you talk to you crush/bf/qf today?: Yes. ][ do you think this is stupidly lonq? Haha kinda ][ did you like it?: Sure ][ why/why not?: Dunno ][ do you like me for this?: heh..no - finish. ][ what is the time?: 2:23 ][ what is the date?: May 1 ][ why did you just do this?: Bored post comment

Look [01 May 2004|01:45am] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Some song on the Wedge ] What is your emo band name? by spiralinghalo Your band name is: Jessica with One J You sound like: Cursive You will be signed to: Saddle Creek Records Your emo lyrics are: "My smile decays as days slowly soak away from yesterday" Name: Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen! post comment

I wish you wouldn't walk away cuz there's some things I'd like to say to you. [30 Apr 2004|08:23pm] Okay, I got a new one. Umm.. It's not pretty or anything but ya know. It'll work. post comment

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