don't hold your breath [musings|allies|lists]

six feet under

[11 April 2005|01:50pm]
The reason why I don't post that much anymore is because I have a new LJ account that I use often. SO, if you really care that much about me (which i doubt because i don't talk to anyone on here), then you can follow the following link to the rest of my life ...

kiss and tell

[16 March 2005|03:48pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

EEWW! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! I just saw the nastiest kid IN THE WORLD! His name is Ben and we refer to him as: The Gay Heroin Addict Vampire! Words cannot describe what a fuck up he is. Guh, and I saw him when I went to pick my brother up from Tennis practice. I had been looking over at them thinking, "What a bunch of losers! Ew, they're lame" Then as my brother and I are driving away he says, "Look there's the Gay Vampire!" That's when I looked closer and saw his Michael Jackson nose and freaked out. haha.
What a Creep-O!!!

kiss and tell

[15 March 2005|02:30pm]
OH NO! I have to go to my first day of work in like ... 5minutes. Gah, I'm just starting to get nervous. I'm tired. School sucks. I never wanted Spring Breakt o end. haha.

THe skin on my knuckles is very dry, itchy, and irritated.

kiss and tell

[11 March 2005|05:57pm]
I'm now officially hired by Blockbuster! whoppee! I'm going to orientation tomorrow, but it's like ... almost an hour away so that sucks. I have to wear khakis and a blue shirt. They're going to pay for 7$ an hour! whoo! Nicole works there and that's awesome!! They won't be able to give me more than 10hours a week though until June and that kinda sucks. It won't bother my school work though, so that's good.

Yeah ... today has been kinda boring. Haven't talked to Devin yet ... want to. Yeah. Annoyed, not at Devin ... just in general. The phone is ringing OH MAH GOD.
2 told|kiss and tell

AngerAngerAnger [10 March 2005|01:34am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

   I'm growing very weary of everyone else's complete incompetance. For real, I thought I was a pathetic lazy bastard ... but NO, society has proven me wrong once again!

   I've been trying to get a job with Blockbuster for about 3weeks or so now. I understand that the manager has a job to do, but part of that job (and a big part too) is hiring new employees. I AM ONE OF THOSE NEW EMPLOYEES ... right? Well, every time the fat ass tells me he'll call me back he doesn't. Is it a test of my good will? Is he making sure I want the job? Because I don't think I should have to prove myself to this douche nozzle. Not to mention, I have turned my lifestyle around to get this job. It means THAT much to me.

   Anyway, what sparked my frustration with their establishment was that the manager was supposed to call me last week to let me know if I had the job. He never did. I called him on Monday asking about my interview. He said he had done the background check and it had come up clear-- of course, I'm a good kid. He hadn't checked my references though and that he would do that and call me back 'tomorrow afternoon' (yesterday). Well, needless to say, he never called. SO, I decided I needed to check back up on him, so I called Blockbuster again today. I get the other manager, who tells me she can't help me and that the man in charge of hiring people will be in tomorrow. I say thank you and hang up. THEN I go absolutely ballistic on my phonebook and living room.
My brother is all like, "Jesus Amanda, who'd you get off the phone with?"
He says, "What, did you not get the job??"
   Yeah, I'm a freak ... I know. It seriously bothers me. If the guy can't tell me whether I have the job tomorrow or not ... I'm not bothering. I can WORK for a slacker, but I'm not putting up with a slacker hiring me. This is getting ridiculous. I don't have the time.

   On another completely unrelated note ... I was in a very minor car accident over a month ago. We were going to Checker's to get some grub and this drunk guy side swipes my car and takes my side mirror off. We follow the asswipe until we get his lisence plate and then we pull over and wait for the cop.
   Mr. Goober takes our information and a report of the accident ... but he won't take a FULL accident report because there "wasn't enough damage!" I didn't mind, it was just a side mirror. He said he would call with the guys insurance information when he found it and we could take it from there. I'm like cool, now we can go to Checkers!
   Well, it's been WELL OVER A MONTH and the Mr. GooberAss hasn't called the fuck back yet. I hate cops. I really do and I'm not going to pretend to like them for the sake of being politically correct. Don't get me wrong, I'm not stupid. I repsect cops to a certain degree because I know goddamn well they can lock me up for pissing them off. However, I know my rights and will Not let them screw me over.
   Anyway, my side mirror of my Saturn ShitWagon is still DUCT TAPED ON and we cannot afford to get it fixed until we get the insurance check. SO, my car is illegal until Mr. GooberFace decides to do his worthless job. Yes, we're driving it anyway.

   Incompetance INFURIATES ME!!! GGAAAHHH!!!!

kiss and tell

[06 March 2005|02:36pm]
[ mood | sad ]

My sister said I don't manage my diabetes well. It really hurt. I blew up at her and screamed and told she was a bad person. She's not. What she said just cut me really really deep. No one understands how hard it is to manage it. I don't know. I feel like shit now. I had to cry for a little bit. I don't want her to think I'm mad because I'm not. I just really wish she hadn't said it. :(

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. He turns 55. We're celebrating it today, because he's travelling for business for the next week or so. I wish he didn't leave, but I know he loves to travel so its okay. He always brings back fun little stuff. Like, he went to Roswell and brought back a whole bunch of alien junks. Fun.

kiss and tell

[04 March 2005|04:55pm]
[ music | The Beatles: 'Fixing a Hole' ]

Well, not much has gone on since my last post. I went to my interview at Blockbuster. It went quite well, and I'm supposed to hear back from them this week with a 'yes' or a 'no.' However, it's Friday and I haven't heard anything. It bothers me because I really want this job ... and have "altered my lifestyle" in order to get it. I plan on calling them either today or (probably) tomorrow. I don't want to be obnoxious ... just interested. heh.

From now until NEXT Sunday is my SPRING BREAK! owOW. I'm excited. Well, just extremely relieved that my break has finally come. School has been just exhausting lately. I need some well deserved rest and I will certainly get it.

Our local newspaper has this section for teens to read. It's kinda cool. I read it every Thursday to see what my country has to offer me for entertainment. Some kids I knew from highschool write parts of it, so I always read those parts. However, this week's main article made me want to claw my eyes out. It was about boys wearing GIRL PANTS. YES, boys going into American Eagle and spending 50-80$$$ on a pair of pants made for GIRLS. Now, I'm not anti-boys wearing tight pants. I can handle that, even though I think they look really stupid. However, I just can NOT accept the fact that the world is accepting this strange trend.

They didn't really support both sides either. They included two quotes for the opposing side, and they were quite amusing! I told them to Devin too and he liked them as well. We're not fans of idiotic fashion.

"I find it oddly disgusting, and it makes me question what hte world is coming to when society can accept a guy wearing girls' clothing."
"Guys wearing girls' pants is like Ashlee Simpson singing--it's just disgusting."

Oh, the last one made me laugh really hard!

Here's a good excerpt from it:
"Today emo boys, just like every different group of people, have their own style. And they love their girl pants.
That's right--they go into American Eagle clothing stores and buy pants from the girl's section. While many guys would feel insecure about doing such a thing, there seems to be no trouble as far as these dudes are concerned."

Vomit? Yes. Vomit.
My town is just so awesome.

kiss and tell

Destination Unknown [25 February 2005|12:10pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]
[ music | Rancid: 'Ruby Soho' ]

Oh my lord! I took half of a Niasin and my entire body feels like its on fire. Seriously. This is a whole new level of burning. It really sucks and I feel like if I touch anything, my skin will rip apart. Water helps a little bit, but ugh. This is horrible.
It didn't feel anything like this last night and I took the same amount. I was drunk though. huh. Yeah, it snowed a whole bunch yesterday. We got about 6inches, but it melted throughout the day and we ended up with about 4inches. I got out of my classes. First time yet! *woo* Germanna never closes. I hung around the house most of the day ... then Devin called from Tim's house. They were all there hanging out and drinking. I went over there and we went to get more 'supplies,' i.e. alcohol. Then we partied down and it was awesome. Ricky, Lindsay, Aaron, Tim, and Devin were all there. It was some excellent times!

WOW. I can barely move. I tried to cross my legs but it hurt too much. This feels like if you were naked in a tanning bed and you stayed in there WAY too long! Everything burns. I'm so insanely red too. I can't believe my family hasn't mentioned it yet. hah.

I was supposed to have a Psychology test today again. (Also last Wednesday and before that last Friday) The fat bitch cancelled it, which I didn't mind. That means she's not going to bother re-scheduling it. We just won't have one on these 2chapters. HOWEVER, she cancelled class at the last minute and I didn't know that until I fucking walked up to the door. Pissed me off. I could've been sleeping! GAH.

My brother and sister are watching Troy. Silly movie. Not too bad. Helen of Troy never talks. Brad Pitt looked better in Fight Club (drool). Orlando Bloom sucks my ass. har. How type casted is he? Every movie he does he has a bow and arrow. What's with that?

kiss and tell

EEEEWWWW [22 February 2005|01:28pm]
[ music | Catch 22: 'It Takes Some Time' ]

You scored as Indie. Indie.



Classic Rock.


Punk and Pop Punk.






Indie Rock




Hip Hop and Rap


Emo & More








Music Recommendation
created with

EEEWWW!!! Indie music??? I am SOOO NOT into Indie music. What a crap quiz!

kiss and tell

[20 February 2005|05:12pm]
[ mood | complacent ]
[ music | Fiona Apple: 'Never Is A Promise' ]

The power steering in my car went out last night. Fun shit. I'll tell ya, no power steering on a '64 Dodge Dart and no power steering on a '90 Chevy Cavalier are SOOOOO different!! I checked the fluid and its fine, but my belt is hanging at the bottom of my car. hah. So that is obviously the problem.

I have an interview with Blockbuster on Thursday at 1pm. Exciting, huh? Not really, but I so desperately need a job. The very cool thing about it is that I'll probably get to work with Nicole! *weeee* That is exciting, because I never see her anymore ... even though she lives up and down a hill from me. That's a 2minute walk. God, we're so pathetic. :)

Devin has an ear infection so he's been feeling like shit lately. We haven't done much this weekend either. I don't really mind. It's been very restful.
My daddy got me this insanely cute stuffed snake. haha. It's pink and has a bow on it that rattles (like a rattle-snake?) and its very very soft. I love it. (it was probably on sale, since V-Day is over)

I'm sick of school ... I want the semester end RIGHT NOW, or Spring Break to come. Either would please me.


kiss and tell

Questioning Myself??? [18 February 2005|08:22pm]
[ music | No Doubt: 'DJs' ]

   Sometimes I feel really detached from the world. Like, I have no idea what is going on in the "real world." All I know is my little universe. And maybe there is a reason I isolate myself from most things. Probably. It might be because I despise most of humanity. Is that just arrogance though? Am I not as superior as I sometimes think I am? Am I too confident for my own good?
   I've isolated myself to people I know I can trust and depend on. I'm not much for taking risks with people. I can be very selective with those who I associate myself with. My friends are, what I call, the "cream of the crop." They wouldn't be a friend if they weren't fabulous, right? Just because others don't understand us is not reason for me to worry.
   Should I care more what other's think? Should I conform my actions so I could slide right into the crowded elevator of society? I'll pick the thirteenth floor-- for good luck you know.
   Am I really as unconventional as I think I am? I certainly don't look it. As soon as my lips spread and I mouth some awfully offensive statement, the masses start to catch on. I want them to catch on. Maybe then they'll realize that their world isn't the only set of ideals out there.
   I believe I've come to a certain point in my life where I am wiser than my age. That doesn't mean I am wise, that comes with many more years than I have under my belt. However, I look onto my "peers" and I feel disgusted. Am I really that arrogant? Or am I just that honest?
   Why can't I associate myself with females? Why are all of my friends boys? Am I manly? I know the majority of things a female should know ... but I know more manly things than about eighty percent of females.

   All these questions send me flying back to Newport News. Why couldn't I slide into the "college scene" like so many others? Why do I belong at community college? Academics is my specialty, proudly as well. Why didn't I just kill my roommates? No one would have cared. At least, they shouldn't have. I still have unresolved issues with that scenario. Were they lacking security, or was it me? Did I threaten their perfectly bound set of ideals? Should I not have challenged everything they knew?


kiss and tell

[18 February 2005|12:47pm]
I expected a Psychology test today ... it's next Wednesday now. Knowing that would've been nice last night when I was Cramming! I guess it's a good thing. I'll be super prepared now, right?

I was face-to-face with utter Insanity last night! I've never felt so secure with myself before. Devin, Justin, and Squirreley went over to this kid Nick's house. Justin calls him "Pickle Dick" and I called him "Heroin Boy" in highschool. WHAT A FUCK UP!!! He swore that he knew how to kill someone and make the world think the apocalypse was coming. He had it all figured out too. Creepy shit.

Kill the person. Cut him up with Katanas (Japanese swords). Put each body part in a freezer box, controlled by his computer. Send the freezer boxes all over the world, where you know they'd be found. Then, unfreeze them at the same time. Put a note in the boxes saying I'm a prophet from Satan and the apocolypse is coming.

It was sooo disturbing. He caught us a buzz though.
Then we went back to Devin's and I eventually passed out and went home a little earlier than usual.

Yeah, pretty uneventful so far ...
kiss and tell

Worth Mentioning [17 February 2005|06:08pm]
[ mood | jubilant ]
[ music | THE BEATLES: 'Come Together' ]

I just wanted to post this because I though it was one of the cutest/ funniest things my boyfriend has ever said:

"You're the manliest chick I know!"

He was drunk, and it was meant to be a compliment ... I took it as one too. I like cars, bicycles, running around outside, getting dirty, liquor ... I'm about as far away from "standard girly girl" as you can get.

I think that's why I didn't get along with my roommates at CNU. They were pussies and I wasn't. HAHA.

Okay, maybe that only makes sense to me... :)

kiss and tell

More writing?? You Betcha!! [17 February 2005|05:58pm]
[ music | Steppenwolf: 'Pusher Man' ]


She spun in tight circles, watching the layers of taffetta grow dizzy in the wind. Her smile permeated her face like the aroma of a warm meal in a small room. Happiness was spinning faster and faster, barefoot in the wet spring grass. Spring, when the ground is just damp enough for your toes to sink gently into the earth. Girls don thin silk tops to replace thick, coarse, wool coats and our demeanor is lifted lightly above our shoulders. The nights are warm and there is a quiet chorus of violins always being sung in the forest.

kiss and tell

[17 February 2005|05:53pm]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | Steppenwolf: 'Pusher Man' ]

I woke up horrendously late for class today. My class starts at 9:30am and I woke up at 9:25. HAH. Yeah, I got there by about 9:45, missed a short quiz at the beginning out class, but oh the fuck well. Then English was rather uneventful ... "learned" how to paraphrase and summarize. Thrilling, huh?

I just got back from the dentist though. Fun times. I have a cavity somewhere ... and I have a whole in one of my molers from grinding my teeth while I'm asleep. They want me to get a "Night Guard" which forms to my teeth, so I'm grinding on plastic and not my tooth enamel. How much do they cost?

Goddamn! Whatever, insurance might cover it ... if not, I'll buy a mouth guard from Wal-Mart for a buck. ha ha.

I have a Psychology test tomorrow and I'm scared. I haven't studied at all really. I looked over a little bit of the material, but not much. *shits herself*


kiss and tell

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